


The Chronicles of New Zealand

by Fienchen



Category: Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Angst, Antagonist Sean, Bonding, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Filming, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Slash, New Zealand, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn, Smut, The Lord of the Rings References, but not really, it's complicated - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2020-05-18 11:30:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 283,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19333654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fienchen/pseuds/Fienchen
Summary: Elijah Wood and Dominic Monaghan meet in New Zealand and fall in love during filming "The Lord of the Rings". As their relationship develops the problems and obstacles increase, but of course nothing stands in the way of true love.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I wrote years ago. There are more than 50 chapters, so it became quite an epic tale. ;) I'm going to post the other chapters bit by bit, so bear with me. And enjoy :)

France, July 1999

Sometimes you feel like just dropping everything. When the world seems to close in around you, swallowing all the perspectives you had in mind and kicking you mercilessly in the arse. As Dominic closed the door of his small trailer behind him and shrugged his jacket off his shoulders, he knew it was one of those days again. He flopped down in the hard chair at the narrow table and ran a hand through his short hair. Another day on the set in the cozy city of St. Valery-sur-Somme had come to an end. Thank bloody God. About an hour ago he had been lying somewhere in the grass, shooting an embarrassing almost-love-scene with his actress colleague. If he hadn’t been careful, his bare bottom would have been flashed at the camera. Truly come a long way, Monaghan, he thought with a sigh. But what was he thinking again? Patience certainly wasn’t one of his virtues. He should be thankful he had work at all. Who was he? No one. Just another unknown actor from gracious Britain struggling in the hard movie industry. He was young, decent-looking, talented and had a job that had brought him to beautiful France. A meaningless comfort indeed. Because a certain epic project he had wanted to do more than anything had slipped through his fingers…

Dominic stopped flipping through some music magazine as the Beatles tune on his cell phone ripped him out of his thoughts. He dropped the paper and fumbled his phone out of his jacket pocket, lightly smiling to himself. Probably his mom again, asking how he was doing off-country. But his agent’s name blinked on the display instead. Clearing his throat, Dominic pressed the green button.

“No more roles with embarrassing smut scenes,” he grinned into the phone and was greeted by his agent’s amused chuckle.

“Good evening, Dominic. Everything okay overseas?”

“Yeah, can’t complain,” Dominic lied, opening the small fridge and grabbing a cool bottle of German beer. “Television shows are weird. I always seem to flash my bare arse. First Hetty, now Monsignor Renard…”

“Hm-hmm…,” the secretive voice on the other end of the line said. “Now, I don’t think you have to worry about that anytime soon in the near future.”

The label on the beer bottle slowly came off under Dominic’s long peeling fingers.

“Oh yeah?” he replied without much enthusiasm. “Why’s that?”

“Listen, I don’t want to excite you, but they’re quite interested in you for Lord of the Rings…”

Dominic’s fingers stopped their assault on the label as his other hand clutched the phone tightly. He stared ahead at the trailer wall as his mind went numb and his heartbeat quickened in his chest.

“What…,” he swallowed. “What do you mean…I mean…how…what!? It’s impossible, I auditioned for Frodo…”

The audition back in England, it now seemed like a lifetime ago. But it had only been six months. Six months of hoping and praying and almost letting go. This incredibly huge project. The Lord of the Rings. Three movies, New Zealand, Peter Jackson. But only ten days earlier Dominic’s dream was shattered as he heard the announcement.

“Yeah, you heard. The role went to Elijah Wood. Who would have thought,” his agent said, but his voice was not as compassionate as Dominic wanted it to be. The biggest chance in his life, it was gone. They had chosen a former child star over a nobody from England. And, as hard as it was, Dominic had to admit to himself that he would have very likely done the same.

“But Dominic, listen,” his agent continued and he himself could barely hide the delight in his voice now. “They are very interested in you for Merry Brandybuck.”

The beer bottle label was now completely peeled off and the little pieces lay scattered on the table as Dominic jumped up from his chair, nearly hitting his head on the low trailer roof. His shaking hand could barely keep the phone at his ear.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” He shrieked as everything swirled around in his head. He placed his shaking hand on his forehead, struggling to get some sort of grip. “Are you kidding me!? I’m gonna be in the Lord of the Rings?” he gasped, the rational tone of his agent’s voice slowly entering his excited mind. No time, leaving immediately, packing…words on the other end of the line that Dominic couldn’t quite grasp yet.

“What, I mean, I’m still working here, how…”

“Everything’s settled, don’t worry about it. You gotta fly to New Zealand immediately. Peter Jackson wants to see you. Pack only what you have to pack. They didn’t make the decision official yet, but the thing is as good as settled.” And then after a brief pause: “This is huge, mate. Really really huge.”

Dominic slowly sank back down on the chair, his hand moving from his forehead to his chest where his heart was beating wildly.

“I can’t believe it…,” he mumbled all over again and before he knew it he was on the phone with the airport, booking two flights. One home to Manchester, England, and another one to Wellington, New Zealand.

 

~**~

 

On the other side of the earth, a young American peeled himself out of his bed. It was early in the morning and the sun was shining through the apartment window as he drew the curtains back. It was a chilly winter morning in Wellington, and Elijah shivered lightly as he looked out the window. Not just from the cool breeze that streamed into his bedroom. No, he was convinced now that he had made the worst decision of his life.

 


	2. Chapter 2

August, 1999

Jetlag wasn’t exactly the right word for what Dominic was feeling as the plane touched down at Wellington International Airport. In fact, it was the biggest understatement ever. Only a minimum of sleep since he had left London 42 hours before, a four hour stay at Sydney airport in the middle of the night to wait for his connecting flight, shitty food on the plane…but despite his muddled state of mind a feeling of absolute amazement seized Dominic as he set foot on New Zealand soil for the very first time in life. There was something about this country, he could sense it as soon as he entered the airport building. For a moment he was just standing there, watching people walk by, some in a hurry, some slowly and casually. He wondered what it would be like about two years from now. Would he still be able to board planes just like this? Or would hordes of paparazzi and fans attack him right away. Dominic grinned at that thought. Who knew what “Lord of the Rings” would bless him with…He had always been sort of an attention whore, he knew that. But would he curse the attention one day?

As he waited for his luggage, Dominic got once again lost in his thoughts. He wondered if Elijah Wood was still able to travel unknown if he wanted to. What would his arrival in New Zealand be like? Was he already here? Was he even a celebrity here? Did he like the attention? Dominic couldn’t help but feel a little nervous at the prospect of getting to know Elijah. The former child star and soon-to-be-star of the biggest trilogy ever made. Well, besides “Star Wars” of course. And Elijah was even younger than him. How would he handle everything? Was he down-to-earth or totally stuck up?

Yawning and stretching his tired limbs, Dominic let go of the various thoughts and allowed his tired mind some rest. He grabbed his suitcase and left the airport. Only two things mattered to him right now: getting to Peter Jackson’s home and having a first talk with him and then getting to the hotel. Each of them would eventually get their own apartment for the next sixteen months. Over one and a half years…bloody amazing…

After grabbing a cup of black coffee, Dominic took a cab and made his way into Wellington city. It was cool and chilly as it was winter in New Zealand. Though the weather wasn’t much different from England in summer on some days, he thought with a weary grin. He looked at the address he had been given and gave it to the driver. About half an hour later he arrived at his destination. The Jackson residence wasn’t as imposing as he had expected it to be. Well, what _had_ he expected? A huge mansion like the Hollywood Hills manors he had often seen on tv? It was a cozy, inviting house, not much different from the other houses in the same street.

Dominic rang the doorbell and after a few seconds the door opened and a nice-looking, dark-haired woman looked at him. Despite his exhaustion he managed an honest smile and offered his hand.

“Hello, I’m Dominic Monaghan. I have an appointment with Mr. Jackson.”

The woman smiled back and shook his hand.

“Dominic, right. I’m Fran. Come in, Pete is expecting you.”

Dominic tried his best to shake the sleepiness off, at least for now. It was probably the most important meeting in his life and he had to look his best, though he knew he must look like shit. Fran seemed to read his thoughts and smiled once again.

“Don’t worry, Dominic. Pete won’t bite and before you know it, you’ll be at the hotel and can get some much needed sleep.”

Dominic couldn’t help but blush a little as he followed Fran into Peter’s office. It was just as he had imagined. A typical director’s office with dozens of requisites, tons of dvds on the shelves, movie production photos on the wall…and behind the desk his future boss was just getting up as Dominic entered.

“Dominic,” he smiled as he shook the young man’s hand. “Nice to finally meet you. How was the flight? Do you want something to drink? You must be very tired. This won’t take long, I promise.”

A little amazed at the friendliness, Dominic rejected the offer with a “thank you.” Peter was the most famous director he had ever worked with in his still short career so far, yet he seemed to be the nicest one. With his corpulent body, the friendly face and the shorts he reminded Dominic very much of a hobbit. He watched the director turn to his desk and grab a bunch of papers.

Clearing his throat, Dominic asked the question that had been on his mind since his agent had called him a few weeks before.

“Mr. Jackson, uhm…how, I mean…why did I get this role?”

“Please, call me Peter,” the other man replied with a smile and Dominic felt his nervousness subside a little. “I thought you were gonna ask why you did not get the other role.”

“Well, I don’t think I would be good enough for Frodo anyway,” Dominic uttered quite modestly but honestly. How could he ever think he would be cast as the main hobbit? What had he done so far? Some tv stuff that probably no one remembered and a couple of theatre plays that probably no one had seen.

“You, Dominic,” Pete said as he turned back around to face him, “are perfect as Merry. Believe me, the cheeky turning serious hobbit, the bad ass hobbit that defeats Saruman with his best friend, while Frodo and Sam defeat Sauron. You’re a really promising actor and I’m looking forward to finally start to work with you. All of you.”

“Thank you, sir”, Dominic said, once again mesmerized by this enthusiastic, positive man in front of him. He had the weight of three massive, monumental movies with the most well known fantasy story ever on his shoulders, but if he was feeling any sort of pressure he did not show it.

“Alright, here’s the contract, the hotel name and your room number”, Peter said as he handed him a few papers. “We’ll go through everything tomorrow when you’re awake. Elijah and Sean are staying at the same hotel, you guys might want to get to know each other a little first, yeah?”

Dominic took the papers and put them into his bag. He looked up again and nodded. “Yeah sure, now that the hobbits are almost complete.”

“They’re already here since they have some dialect training to do. You won’t have any problems with getting the right accent, I’m sure”, Peter smiled.

Smiling back, Dominic shook the director’s hand once again and grabbed his suitcase with the other. “Well, thank you so far. Guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you tomorrow”, Peter said and lead the young Brit back to the front door. “Oh, and Dominic”, he added before the other man left his house. “Welcome to New Zealand.”

 

**~**

 

The way back to Plaza International Hotel appeared endless. Elijah stifled a yawn as he looked out the cab window at the passing buildings. The setting sun painted the city in an orange color, and it was a gorgeous sight. Turning away from the window, he glanced at the man who was sitting next to him on the backseat. The wrinkles on his forehead and his concentrated look at the papers in his hands made Elijah giggle.

“Sean, for fuck’s sake. Put that down and relax already,” Elijah giggled. At first it didn’t seem like the guy had heard him at all. Then Sean spoke but didn’t remove his eyes from the paper.

“Nah, I better work on this some more. Can’t do no harm,” he replied and then he looked at Elijah and cleared his throat. When he spoke again, he put on his best British accent.

“There is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.” Then he actually managed to smile and Elijah smiled back. Sean Astin. If you look up the term “control freak” in the dictionary, you’d most certainly find a picture of him. Elijah had been in New Zealand for a month now, with occasional returns home to LA. Sean had followed him close behind. He remembered their first encounter in that hotel in LA where they had gotten their wigs fitted. They had gotten along immediately and Elijah couldn’t say how happy he was about that. Despite their age difference of ten years they had connected immediately. And he hoped their developing real life friendship would somehow be visible on the big screen. After all, Frodo and Sam were the epitome of loyalty and friendship.

Their dialect coach had been very satisfied with them today, but of course Sean was anything but satisfied with himself. He would always criticize himself, point out what could be done better, encourage himself as well as Elijah to do better...but they had called it a day and right now all Elijah wanted to do was grab a clove cigarette before falling into his hotel bed.

Eventually Sean folded the paper and leaned back, looking a little tired.

“Oh, by the way, another hobbit is arriving today,” he suddenly announced. “Peter said slowly but surely the gang is getting complete.”

Elijah grinned. “You really have everyone’s schedule in your head, don’t you? You don’t, by any chance, also know the exact plane and arrival time of this other hobbit?”

Sean emitted something that could be a snort as he turned to his young co-star. “The only exact plane and time I have in my head is the departure time for my plane back home to Christine and Alex.” A pensive and longing expression emerged on his face and he sighed.

Giving Sean’s shoulder a light squeeze, Elijah looked at him sympathetically. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “I’m happy for you that they decided to come over in October and stay with you during filming.” Trailing off, Elijah turned to the side again, his eyes staring ahead. He wished he didn’t feel so fucking scared at the prospect of the next few months, but they would be the hardest of his life. He didn’t know anyone and his only trusty friend right now was Sean. He wasn’t the most extroverted person and he very much hoped his tranquility and caution wouldn’t give others the idea that he might be some arrogant movie-star. And on top of it all there lay this ever present fear that Elijah just couldn’t get rid of…

They arrived at the hotel and went through the lobby to the elevator. Elijah stuffed his wringing fingers into his jeans pockets, suddenly feeling more nervous than ever. And he craved for a smoke. They departed the elevator and went to their rooms. Sean was staying right next door. And next to Elijah’s door there was another one. Reserved for the next member of their gang.

Sean opened his door with his key card before turning to Elijah.

“Wanna meet again later for dinner?” he asked as Elijah opened his own door.

“Yeah sure. I just gotta go outside for a smoke,” he replied, knowing exactly what Sean’s comment would be. He couldn’t help the grin as it came.

“Oh Lij,” Sean sighed and wriggled his right forefinger in front of his face. “You’re way too young to throw your health away like that. Well, at least it hasn’t harmed your perfect skin yet.”

“Ah, what can I say. Once addicted, always addicted,” Elijah said with a shrug. “But who knows, maybe I’ll manage to quit when the movies are over. See you later.” And with that he disappeared into his room and snatched the pack of cloves and the lighter out of his suitcase. Then he moved back down and left the hotel through the lobby. A cool gust of wind hit him as he opened the front door and stepped into the evening air. The feeling of nervousness subsided as Elijah fumbled a clove out the pack and lit it. Staring at the passing cars and people and puffing silently, Elijah allowed his mind to drift away once again. The fear right now was just a small glimmer in the back of his head, but he knew sooner or later it would become bigger again. The uncertainty, the pressure, this crushing weight on his shoulders…

Shivering and puffing, Sean’s words kept ringing in his head. Christine, his wife, and Alexandra, his almost three year old daughter…Sean could count himself so damn lucky. His family would be there. His loved ones. But Sean was 28 years old. Elijah was just 18. He would see his family again in a few days, but then he would be off again soon. For sixteen unbelievable months. Get a grip, you’re not a fucking baby anymore, he told himself, but only ended up feeling more frustrated.

The hand that held the clove trembled lightly, not just from the cold. Sucking at the stick once more, Elijah stubbed it out in the ashtray on top of a garbage can. He wrapped his arms around himself and turned around to walk back inside. Then he stopped.

A few feet away from him a guy was standing, a suitcase in one hand, the other hand in the pocket of his pants. He was not exactly staring, but the way he was looking at him made Elijah’s heart beat a little faster. He studied the other guy’s face that was illuminated by the lights from the hotel lobby. He didn’t look much older than Elijah himself, though he did look very young. And he was maybe just one or two inches taller. Could this be…

The mysterious fellow cleared his throat as he blinked, the intense gaze wavering off a little. He took a few steps towards Elijah who could now make out some more details. The short, dirty-dark blonde hair, the slightly crooked jaw...and eyes that were incredibly intense yet held the cute look of a puppy dog…a puppy dog? Elijah hoped he did not grin at that thought. But all in all, Elijah would call this man handsome in not so usual way.

“Hello,” the stranger finally said, a hint of nervousness in his voice. He dropped his suitcase and offered his hand. “My name is Dominic Monaghan, one of the other hobbits.” And the cheeky grin that spread across his face made Elijah’s heart beat even faster and he accepted the hand. Long, slender fingers closed around Elijah’s hand and he was momentarily amazed by the unexpected familiarity of it all. Judging from the British accent, this must be their Merry for he knew a Scottish guy had been cast as Pippin. But…who was _this_ guy? Where had he come from? Would he stay right next door? Was he more the introverted type of person or the total opposite? What kind of music did he like? Questions over questions that whirled around in Elijah’s head and he had no idea why. He hadn’t even said anything to him yet.

“Hey, nice to meet you,” he finally said with a smile. “I’m Elijah.”

“Yeah, I know,” the Brit replied and Elijah smiled even more at the obvious nervousness of his new companion who now smiled back at him. Up until now no one had recognized Elijah in this country and he was enjoying this immensely. Not that he was recognized that often back in the States. He knew he wasn’t an A lister and probably never would be. Thank God for that. But…who knew how this would change after “Lord of the Rings”. Looking down, Elijah noticed that his hand was still holding Dominic’s. He pulled it back, his pale face blushing slightly.

“Well Dominic, welcome to our cozy little hobbit group. Sean Astin is up there and I know he can’t wait to get to know you.”

Putting his hands back into his pockets Elijah continued to smile at the guy. He always was like this. Friendly, welcoming, eager to meet new people…interesting people. And there was something about this man here that was extremely interesting. And Elijah just couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. The fear, the tension, the anxiety that normally used to nag at the back of his head was suddenly pushed back into some dark corner. Why was he feeling so relaxed all of a sudden?

“Please, call me Dom,” Dominic offered and Elijah chuckled.

“Dom? Now that’s a pretty cool name.”

“Well, I’m a pretty cool guy,” Dominic replied with a wink, receiving a giggle from the boy. Boy? Dear. Crossing his arms, he looked at the lad’s face.

“Elijah Wood…well, I must say I was pretty nervous about meeting you. The first star of these movies.” Another cheeky grin and Elijah’s heart lit up some more.

“I’m not a star,” Elijah shrugged. “A star is nothing but a ball of gas.”

Hear hear, Dominic thought. Healthy attitude, young boy. Bloody hell, there it was again.

“So…how old are you, Elijah? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Not at all. 18.”

“18!” Dominic wanted to slap himself for this rude exclamation, but he couldn’t help it. Whistling through his teeth he shook his head lightly. “Bloody hell…four years younger than me and achieved 20 times more,” he chuckled. “And now you’re gonna be legendary Frodo.”

Yeah…and gonna fuck it up royally. Fuck, where did that come from? At least didn’t say that out loud, Elijah thought with a feeling of mild relief. Though something told him that this guy would understand and not laugh. That Dom would understand. But would he also care?

“And to be honest, Elijah, I’m glad I did not get this role. Because _I_ would fuck it up royally, I’m telling you.”

Elijah stared at him. Had this guy just read his mind? Or was it just a coincidence? “You…you auditioned for Frodo?”

“Yeah, guess I wasn’t suitable enough. Or my acting sucks too much,” Dominic grinned wearily and then added: “But I guess it’s better this way. Merry is the perfect hobbit for me to play. Sassy, lively, bollocking everything up…you know, my mom always says: ‘Even if you’re not doing something wrong, you look like the guy who is.’”

Elijah giggled, and Dominic didn’t know why, but it sounded like music in his ears. “Well, that’s quite a nice compliment,” the Elijah said.

Dominic winked and then shivered involuntarily in the cool evening air. Grabbing his suitcase again and he nodded at the hotel entrance. “Maybe we should go in, huh?”

“Yeah, sure,” Elijah uttered quickly and held the door open for Dominic who grabbed his luggage and carried it inside. “You must be fucking knackered. Are you hungry? Sean and I could call room service. Don’t worry, the bills are all going to New Line.”

“Sounds brilliant,” Dominic grinned back as they walked side by side through the lobby towards the check-in counter.

So, this was Elijah Wood. When Dominic had gotten out of the cab and approached the hotel, he had been momentarily stunned. Not by the impressive building that would be their accommodation at the beginning. Elijah had been standing there under the canopy smoking his cigarette, looking straight ahead, puffing and with a small frown on his forehead. Like he was deeply lost in thoughts. Dominic had been watching the side of his face, studying the pale seemingly flawless skin which was occasionally illuminated by the glimmer of his cigarette as he took another deep drag. Then he had stubbed it out and turned around and Dominic was convinced that his heart had actually skipped a beat and his pulse rate quickened from one second to the next. The first thing he had noticed were those eyes. Of course Dominic had seen them on tv before, but that was nothing in comparison to what they looked like in real life. Even the fading daylight couldn’t diminish their shining blue color, let alone the remarkable size.

And what would be the best way to approach him? Simply overcome his growing nervousness by putting on a cheeky smile and drivel a funny line? No, that could come later when he knew what Elijah would be like. Dominic had always been a rather outgoing kind of person, he could easily come into a room and entertain a crowd of people and no one would get bored. His rootless childhood had shaped him in this respect. So, whenever he met someone, he would use his best entertainment skills, trying to make himself appear as interesting as possible. It had nothing to do with arrogance or self-centeredness. It was simply a way to defeat his initial awkwardness. Later this cheekiness would become natural and a way to keep his friends entertained and have fun with them, not to impress anyone. He had always thought his British charms had helped him a lot in his life.

But with Elijah he had decided to go for a calm beginning. And whatever had caused the boy’s tension and broodiness before Dominic had approached him had slowly faded away in the course of their brief chat. But he couldn’t help but wonder what was bothering Elijah. He knew he probably shouldn’t intrude, but this guy was too young and definitely too successful to look that anxious. But what did Dominic know anyway? Maybe Elijah had just had a bad day. However, he decided to keep a watchful eye on the American who now seemed to be rather radiant as they made their way to their rooms.

 

**~**

 

They were sitting on the floor in Sean’s room, three full plates, two cold beer bottles and one water bottle in the middle of their little circle. Elijah was sitting cross-legged on the carpet, shoving some pasta into his mouth as his eyes traveled from Dominic to Sean and then back to the Brit. He had known Sean for two months now and Dominic for about an hour. And still he was already able to see the difference between these two. In fact, they couldn’t be any more different. Dominic seemed to be the absolute happy-go-lucky kind of guy. For the past half an hour he had entertained them with the most hilarious anecdotes and stories. Well, at least he had entertained Elijah who was practically clinging to every word that came over those lips. And not just with what Dominic had been telling. It was his entire appearance. He was oozing something that attracted Elijah like hardly anything ever had. But Elijah couldn’t put his finger on it. Sean, on the other hand, was the total opposite. Elijah was very fond of him and their immediate bond. But Sean was the kind of person who would leave nothing to chance. Whenever something became a little unpredictable, the control freak in him would take over. And, above all, he was so damn mature. Well, of course. He was older, married, had a daughter. Dominic was 22, free, still a baby in the film business and totally eager to get to know everything and make new experiences. Elijah was glad not just to have someone who was closer to his own age but who also seemed to be on his wave length.

“So, what part of England are you from, Dom?” Elijah asked as he took a mouthful of beer.

“Manchester,” Dominic said, sipping from his own beer bottle. A small drop trailed down his chin and he wiped it away with his hand. Elijah had no idea why this meaningless action fascinated him so much. “Well, actually a town called Stockport in the Manchester district. But no one knows it so yeah, basically I’m from Manchester. But I was born and raised in Germany.”

“Ah, a true cosmopolitan,” Elijah giggled. And Dominic had no idea why this sound fascinated him so much.

“Funny that Elijah and I seem to be the only Americans so far.” Sean put his plate down on the carpet, careful as always not to cause any stains on the floor. He sipped from his water bottle. “So Dominic,” he said, eyeing the other man with a lightly mischievous grin. “You were probably beyond excited to meet Mr. Wood here, huh?”

“Oh Sean,” Elijah sighed, placing his plate down. A faint blush crept onto his face. “Not this again. You were great as kid.” Patting Sean’s back lightly, he looked at Dominic with a knowing grin.

“Nah, not as great as you, Lij.” As he noticed the confused look on Dominic’s face he chuckled. “You have no idea who I am, do you?”

Dominic looked at him with wide eyes. What the bloody hell was he supposed to say now? Taking a look at Elijah he realized that this wasn’t probably as serious as he feared it was. Elijah rolled his eyes but in a cute and amusing way. Like he wanted to say, don’t bother. Was he reading him right?

“Uhm,” he stammered nonetheless. “I’m afraid…”

“Ah, sorry Dominic,” Sean chuckled again. “I don’t blame you if you don’t. Just proves again that Elijah here already achieved everything I ever wanted as a child. But somehow my career never took off quite as much as his.”

“We’re both former child actors,” Elijah decided to explain, knowing that Dominic probably still had no fucking clue what they were talking about. “And Sean is still trying to figure out why I was more successful than him.”

“It can’t be a question of connections,” Sean mused, waving around with his bottle. “I mean, I was in a Spielberg movie!” He snorted and put the bottle down again. “I really wonder what Elijah did right and I did wrong.”

“Well,” Dominic said, shrugging as he lifted his bottle to his lips again. “Maybe Elijah was just more talented than you.” He swallowed down the rest of his beer as he felt Sean’s eyes bore into him. Elijah clearly suppressed a giggle. Dominic burst into laughter.

“Guys, calm down! I was just kidding. I have no bloody clue what’s going on in the film biz and who is successful why or why someone’s not successful,” he chuckled and Sean’s face broke into a grin.

“Ah, you Brits and your weird sense of humor,” he snickered. Elijah still had a light smile on his face as he just looked at the floor and peeled at the label of his beer bottle. Certain habits can be found anywhere in the world, Dominic thought amused.

“But seriously,” Sean continued after a moment of silence. “I hope you guys realize the seriousness of this project here. And what it’ll do for our careers.”

Dominic nodded as he poked the remaining food on his plate with the fork. “Yeah. Lots of girls,” Dominic smirked, but turned serious again. “Two weeks ago I was still in France doing some no name tv production. And now I’m here…” Looking up he glanced at Elijah who had lifted his head again and was watching him attentively. Attentively? Elijah Wood, former child star and now about to claim eternal fame as Frodo Baggins, was looking at him attentively? His life was truly on the right track now. He was sure of it.

“Well, I can hear my bed calling for me. See you guys tomorrow?” Dominic said as he got up on his feet. Elijah stood up as well, placing his plate on the nearby coffee table.

“Yeah, see you Sean. I’m off as well.”

“See you, guys,” Sean waved as he grabbed the phone to inform the room service people that they could pick up the dishes.

Dominic and Elijah left the room and Elijah stopped in the corridor. Putting his hands in his pocket, he watched Dominic open his door. He wasn’t tired. And he wanted to know so much more about this fellow. He sighed inwardly, regretting that he would leave New Zealand the day after tomorrow. He would go back to LA and come back at the end of the month. Along with the rest of the cast. How many days to go?

Elijah opened his own door and then turned back to Dominic who was now looking at him. The dark circles under his eyes revealed how damn tired he must be, yet he managed a last smile.

“Good night then,” he said and Elijah smiled back.

“Night Dom,” he said and watched Dominic disappear into his room. Before Elijah entered his own accommodation he heard the Brit’s voice again.

“Oh, and Elijah?”

Elijah peeked around the corner, spotting Dominic standing on the threshold of his room.

“I wasn’t kidding earlier.”

At first Elijah didn’t quite know what he was talking about, but then it dawned on him. But he had no idea what to think about this. Was he serious? Was he just making fun again? Doing some mindless flattering? Elijah couldn’t quite tell from the tone of his voice.

“But you don’t even know any of Sean’s movies,” he grinned amused, deciding that Dominic was probably kidding.

“Oh, I don’t have to…,” Dominic said and winked one last time before going into his room and shutting the door, leaving a bewildered, confused and blushing Elijah behind.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

_August 27, 1999_

_Dear diary,_

_I’m on the plane. Now there’s no going back. This time it’s until December next year, but I’ll be home for Christmas and New Year’s. My mind isn’t really able to grasp it all yet. I just know it’s my greatest opportunity to do something big so far. I’ll be a hobbit in bloody Lord of the Rings! I’ll be wearing a wig, I’ll be shrunk, I have to learn how to ride a horse…it’s a real step into the unknown. And why is it I always get cast as the cheeky characters? Is it my personality? You must know me by now, tell me. Hehe. Well, I’m very excited to see everyone again and meet the new members of the cast. Saying good-bye to Elijah and Sean three weeks ago was pretty weird. We’d known each other for a few days, but there’s already this bond between us. It’s hard to explain. But I’m afraid poor Sean still wasn’t quite over what I had said that very first night. Geez, me and my big trap. And I’ll finally get to know my hobbit partner-in-crime. A bloke from Scotland. Yeah yeah, I know. English and Scots don’t mix. *g* Nah, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine as long as it doesn’t come to the subject of football._

_Ah, I can’t tell you how excited I am!_

Dominic put the pen down and closed his diary, looking out of the window. The snow-covered mountains and wide green valleys beneath left no doubt – New Zealand, here I am again. Closing his journal he took a sip from his coffee cup, still admiring the stunning landscape. Not long now till the plane would land and a new chapter in his life would begin.

 

**~**

 

New Zealand would be their home for the next sixteen months, so each member of the cast eventually got their own place. A new place in a new home. It was like the beginning of another life, almost like living in a completely different world. And the capital Wellington was truly mesmerizing. Positioned at the southern tip of the North Island near the geographical center of New Zealand it offered the perfect place to stay. Even the often fierce winds which had given Wellington the nickname “Windy City” couldn’t do any harm to its impressiveness.

Elijah heaved his three large CD cases onto the table and began flipping through the first one. He quickly found what he was looking for which was remarkable since a normal person certainly wouldn’t have seen any kind of order or system in this bunch of discs. It was a rather individual system, a mixture of music genre and alphabetical order. Grabbing one case and opening it, as always careful not to touch the shiny surface, Elijah moved over to the stereo system and put the disc into the player. Just a few seconds later the psychedelic sound of the Smashing Pumpkins filled the living-room of his house. His very first own house. At first he had thought he would stay in an apartment, but when Peter Jackson had offered Sean and him some more accommodations to choose from, he wasn’t able to say no. It was unbelievable, they were shown various estate agents pictures of houses and they could pick their favorite place.

It was still kind of surreal. Elijah was on his own now, for the very first time in his young life. He would run his own household, go to work every morning, come home every night…but he wasn’t sure if he was ready for this. Really ready. He had been in the movie business for nine years, but he had never been on his own like this. And in a completely different country on top of that. As he moved over to the window and surveyed the scenery of Wellington, he once again wondered how he had ended up here.

What am I doing here, he thought with a quiet sigh.

The doorbell rang and Elijah sighed once more. He really wasn’t in the mood for another dialect session with Sean. They had both managed to adapt the proper accent for their roles, but Sean would often ask him to practice a little more when their coach had already assured them they were perfect.

Turning the music volume down a little, Elijah went to his front door and opened it. And he was all the more surprised as another man was standing on his threshold, looking strangely serious.

“Excuse me,” the guy began, clearing his throat. “I heard the infamous Mr. Elijah Wood is supposed to be living in this very house.”

“Hey Dom!”

Elijah’s solemn face broke into a grin as he opened the door a little more to let his visitor inside.

“You heard absolutely right,” he said and chuckled as Dominic pulled him into a brief welcoming hug. What a nice and unexpected change this was. It was the end of August and gradually the rest of the cast members were to arrive. After his arrival the day before Dominic had moved into his new apartment which was located not so far away from Elijah’s place. He had stuffed his entire luggage into a corner and admired the stunning view from his window before falling into his bed. The unpacking could wait a little longer. And now all he wanted was to check out Elijah’s residence. He was more than eager to find out more about the young fellow, since he had not really had the chance at the beginning of the month. Elijah had left for LA two days after their first meeting at the hotel. And what better way to get to know someone than to take a look at his personal space? Even if it was just a temporary accommodation for a movie shoot. Ah, what was he thinking? Sixteen months was a little longer than an average movie shoot. Actually it was three movie shoots. As Dominic hugged the younger man the first thing he noticed was a warm softness. Elijah Wood was probably the softest person he had ever embraced.

“Hey Elijah,” Dominic spoke kindly, now his usual mischievous self again. “I hope you’re not busy or something.”

“No no no,” Elijah said, and he couldn’t help but stare at Dominic’s head. “Holy shit, what the fuck happened to your hair?” he gasped. Indeed, the Brit’s skull was covered with nothing but short stubbles.

Dominic ran his hand over his almost bald head, still quite hating the feeling. “Oh, you know, before coming here I was filming a television show in France and I went back to finish my work there. Which required me to shave off my lovely hair, unfortunately. Feels awful, but well, what can you do, right? It’s method acting!” he laughed.

Elijah pulled a face but giggled nonetheless. “Wow, not bad...I don’t think I could do that,” he mused, his eyes still fixed on the stubbles.

“Oh yes, you could,” Dominic assured him before adding with a cheeky smile: “You know the saying, ‘nothing can ruin a pretty face’.”

Elijah felt a warm blush creep all over his pale skin. Holy shit, was he blushing at a compliment from a guy? Get a grip. But that was easier said than done. He stepped back and let Dominic step inside.

“Bloody hell…” Dominic exclaimed as he took a few steps into the living-room, his eyes fixed on the rather impressive CD cases on the table in the middle of the room. Two were closed, but the third was still open, revealing a variety of albums.

“Uhm, correct me if I’m wrong, but you are here to film a movie and not to open your own record shop, are you?” Dominic whistled through his teeth, drawing an amused giggle from Elijah who closed the door behind him.

“Well, gotta have my music with me whenever I travel. Otherwise I don’t really feel like a complete person,” he explained, blushing a little more. “Yeah, you can tell I’m quite a passionate person.”

Leaning down, Dominic took a closer look studying the various names of bands and artists. “Passionate may just be the right word. I haven’t really heard of most of these before. Ah, I’m bloody illiterate!” His face cringed in a miserable but hilarious manner.

“Nah, you’re not,” Elijah came to stand beside him with an amused grin, looking over his shoulder. “I’m a little strange, you know. I always gotta have every single special edition and every special compilation there is. I actually have over 1000 CDs in my collection and it’s steadily growing. Of course the main stash is still at home.”

“Not bad, not bad,” Dominic whistled again, his eyes fixed on the case. “May I?” he indicated and after a brief nod from Elijah he sat down on the couch and pulled out a few albums, examining the covers. Elijah flopped down next to him, hoping for maybe an interesting music discussion. He could barely hide his excitement as he reached for a CD.

“Here, you gotta listen to this,” he announced as he pushed it into Dominic’s hand.

“Queens of the Stone Age?” Dominic turned it around so he could study the track list. “What sort of music is it?”

“Hard rock, mixed with Stoner and Desert but also rather Neo-Psychedelic,” Elijah explained and giggled as he noticed the blank expression on Dominic’s face. “Just listen to it, you’re gonna like it,” he assured him.

“Well, the cover is rather sexy, I must say,” Dominic grinned as he turned the case back around. “Thanks, I’ll check it out. Ohhh…” Something else attracted his attention and he pulled another CD out of the case. The colorful cover was unmistakable.

“Ah, of course,” Elijah smiled as he watched Dominic handle the CD with careful, rather affectionate hands. “What would a Brit be without at least one Fab Four album on the shelf, eh?”

“Are you kidding me? They’re bloody Gods.” Long, slender fingers traced the cover of the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club album and Elijah was not just mesmerized but also very excited. People who loved music as much as he did were rather hard to find. Well, he knew he was probably an exception with his extent of obsession, but the way Dominic was looking at the CD left him fascinated.

“Hey, who doesn’t love them,” Elijah stated, resting his elbow on the back of the couch as the other guy turned to him.

“What does music mean to you, Elijah?” Dominic asked, leaning back with an interested look, still holding the CD in his hand. Elijah couldn’t help but smile brightly and his eyes suddenly filled with a certain sparkle. It was an interesting sight for Dominic who clearly noticed that this would be a subject that could get them a little more bonded.

“Oh dear,” Elijah giggled. “There you’ve asked me a dangerous question. I could rant about it all day, but well, the first band I really worshiped were the Smashing Pumpkins who you can hear in the background.” He indicated to his stereo system and Dominic turned his head.

“Ah cool,” he said. “I heard of them. Rather psychedelic, right?”

“Yeah, well I’m quite digging this indie and alternative stuff, you know. I really began to be obsessed when I was 12 or 13. As you can imagine, I traveled a lot as a kid, when you’re so young and live a rather rootless life, you gotta have something that keeps you company and a feeling of home. Plus I met so many different people with different music tastes, so I got into contact with lots of different kinds of bands.”

Dominic smiled at Elijah’s obvious passion. It was nice to see how someone of his caliber could still get enthusiastic about something as simple as listening to music. He could imagine that lots of major movie stars were immersed in more luxurious and less everyday things. Even though Elijah didn’t consider himself a star which was something Dominic could still only look up to.

“I see,” he said, still a little wrapped up the boy’s sparking eyes. “It’s nice to see that someone is able to lose himself in a passion like this, especially in this industry.”

“Well, I think it’s very important to have a passion for _something_ , no matter what it is,” Elijah explained. “You get up every morning, get through the day, go to bed. But you gotta have something that pulls you out of this rut.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Dominic spoke softly, drawing his gaze away from Elijah’s eyes and staring into space as he thought about his own passions. He had quite a few of them and maybe he should use them to keep himself grounded. Who knew what would happen after these movies? Perhaps he would become a celebrated movie star across the world, threatened to lose the ground beneath his feet. But as long as he reminded himself that there was more to life than fame and Hollywood, that he had various interests, different kinds of passions he loved to follow, he would stay sane and happy.

“It’s like my relationship with the Beatles,” he suddenly said, looking back at Elijah’s attentive face. “They aren’t just a band. They’re a religion. I mean, their songs, their lyrics, Lennon’s writing…there’s a song for every situation of your life. Every state, every condition. Know what I mean?”

Elijah nodded. Now it was his turn to smile at the other one’s clear passion. He loved this. Listening to someone who obviously shared the same perspectives and the same views of certain things. Sometimes he felt like quite the outsider, people calling him overly fanatical or even insane. Not that he cared much, but he had often wished someone would be able get at least a little glimpse at his inner soul to understand his way of thinking. To understand him better.

And there was still so much more Elijah wanted to know about this guy sitting on his couch, talking to him, chuckling with him, sharing his thoughts with him.

“Hmm, so what else is there to know about Mr. Dominic Monaghan?” he asked with a smile, pulling his legs up on the couch and leaning his head against his hand.

“Well, let’s see…” Dominic tipped a finger at his chin, pretending to be deep in thoughts. “Would you be very grossed out if I told you I dig unusual pets?”

“Unusual pets?” Elijah grinned, not really knowing what to expect now.

“Hm-hmm, like spiders, snakes, lizards, all sorts of bugs…”

“You’re fucking with me, right?”

"No!” Dominic laughed, amused by the clearly stunned expression on Elijah’s face. “I swear. When I was a kid, me and my brother would often collect all kinds of insects when we were on holiday. They’re really fascinating creatures, Lij.”

“Hmm, okay,” Elijah murmured, still a little perplexed by this revelation. “But hey, like I said. It’s important to have a passion, no matter for what.”

“Exactly. And as a European and an English bloke _and_ an English bloke who grew up in Germany on top of that, I’m totally football obsessed of course. Or soccer as you weird yanks call it,” Dominic winked.

“Soccer…mmh…,” Elijah mused, scratching his chin. “Never really got all the fuss about it. But after all, I’m American, so…”

“Good excuse,” Dominic chuckled, carefully placing the Beatles album back into the CD case. Then he turned to Elijah again, his grey-blue eyes seeming to pierce through Elijah’s into his very heart. He grew quite solemn all of a sudden. There was something buried inside of Elijah, he could tell. Those deep, blue orbs were not just incredibly breathtaking, they also revealed that something was hidden inside that obviously sensitive soul. Should he bring it up now? Why not. He’d have to mention it sooner or later anyway.

“Elijah,” he began, but all of a sudden not feeling so sure anymore. “Can I ask you something, well…personal?”

The lightly nervous look in Elijah’s eyes told him maybe not, but the young fellow just nodded. “Uhm…yeah sure.”

Clearing his throat, Dominic sat a little more upright, his fingers scratching the short stubbles on his head. “You know, I couldn’t help but notice something, and either I’m totally wrong and you’ll laugh at me and tell me to fuck off or my intuition may be right…”

Elijah stared at him attentively, yet seemingly a little anxious as he didn’t move an inch. He was just sitting there, but then he lifted a hand to his mouth and began to bite on a fingernail. Obviously a calming habit. Dominic noticed the short nails that looked a little mistreated indeed, like they had been abused lots of times before.

Not taking his eyes off Elijah, Dominic continued with a calm tone in his voice. “You know, when I first saw you standing in front of the hotel and smoking, there was something about you. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but you seemed miles away and not in a good way. Like maybe something was bothering you. Please say if I’m wrong, Elijah, I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or something.”

But Elijah didn’t say anything. He was just chewing on his nail, looking even tenser. So maybe Dominic had hit a nerve. Something was bothering this boy. Suddenly Elijah opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but he closed it again. Dominic leaned a little more forward, their eyes meeting again.

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me, Lij. I just want you to know if you want to talk to someone, you can turn to me. We’re not just making a movie together. We’ll have a common life together for the next one and half years, all of us. We’re all in this together, and we should learn to rely on each other and be there for each other. I have a feeling that this is gonna be so much more than just a common working experience.” Trailing off briefly, Dominic could see the inner struggle through Elijah’s eyes. He was obviously fighting with himself but why Dominic could not tell. He gave Elijah a brief reassuring nod before adding softly: “I wanna be your friend.”

My friend? Fuck, I want to be your friend too, but this is so ridiculous. Elijah’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions and his poor nail was suffering immensely for it. He wanted to tell Dominic, tell him everything, pour it all out to him. To this guy who had known him for just a few weeks now, but who obviously cared for him like hardly anyone ever had before in the film business. But he was so scared at the same time. It was fucking pathetic, yet Elijah felt like he was slowly crushing under this heavy weight. He pulled his finger away from his mouth and looked into Dominic’s expectant, caring eyes.

“You know,” Elijah’s quiet, soft voice finally began and it took him a few moments to continue. Dominic’s gaze didn’t falter. Here we go, he thought with relief.

“It’s like this…I…”

The shrill ring of the doorbell ripped Elijah out of his tense state and he jumped at the sudden interruption, his heart beating heavily.

No no no, not bloody now. Dominic felt like reaching out, keeping Elijah from going to answer the door. Keeping him right here, allowing him to tell him everything. Allowing him to trust him.

But Elijah looked at him equally regretfully as he got up. “Sorry,” he mumbled as he moved to the door and opened it.

“ _Heey!”_ The two fellows outside shrieked and Elijah involuntarily winced. “Hobbits are complete,” the strong Scottish accent of the smaller guy announced and slowly it dawned on Elijah. He grinned as he was hugged by them both.

He noticed Sean standing behind them, looking rather apologetic. “Sorry, Elijah,” he sighed. “I tried to keep these two drunks away from you until they’re sober.” A small smile formed on his face, but he had obviously noticed that they must have interrupted something. “Everything, okay?” Sean frowned, just as Dominic appeared in the doorway and was immediately pulled into two embraces as well.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Elijah assured, but Sean didn’t look quite convinced. In fact, he was eyeing Dominic with a suspicious look. “We were just talking about this and that. Come in, come in, guys!”

“Excuse us,” the taller of the other two men giggled. He was holding a half empty bottle of champagne in his hand which probably explained a lot, Elijah thought with a smirk. “It’s Billy’s birthday and I guess we had one too many drinks on the flight here. Oh, I’m Orlando, by the way,” he added and took a rather clumsy bow.

“That’s right,” Billy said happily, snatching the bottle from Orlando and handing it to Elijah. “Actually it was yesterday, but when we got to LA it was again and, you know, it’s again today” he giggled. “So, it’s been one long party.”

“Billy Boyd! Awesome,” Dominic exclaimed and pulled the short man into another hug. “My other half, finally you’re here. Well, my Scottish half but still…happy birthday, mate!” The others congratulated as well and Billy smiled a cute drunken smile.

“Thanks lads. And I know! I can’t believe they put an English with a Scottish bloke…well…not in _that_ way, but you know, into the same team.” A short burp escaped Billy’s throat. “Gah sorry. Hey, since you’re a Brit, you probably know how to handle this better than he does.” And with that he took the champagne bottle away from Elijah and pushed it into Dominic’s hand.

“Elijah is probably still a little too young for this anyway,” Sean said.

Fucking hell, don’t treat him like a bloody child, Dominic thought with a light frown on his face, though he couldn’t quite tell if Sean was joking or not. He seemed to be rather protective of his young co-star which was probably not the worst or least understanding thing. There was something about Elijah that just asked for protection. He was the youngest member of their fellowship, but he was also one of those with the most experience. Elijah was pretty grown-up and mature for his age, but not mature in the way Sean was. Something told Dominic that there was a fun-loving, cheeky, casual guy inside of Elijah who needed to be lured out of his insecure shell.

“Elijah?” Holding the bottle out to the young American, Dominic could feel Sean’s eyes boring into his back.

“No thanks,” Elijah smiled. “Maybe I’ll have a beer later.”

“Ah look. He can make his own decisions,” Dominic said to no one in particular, but the feeling of Sean’s eyes at him got stronger.

“Hey, why don’t we all go out and celebrate together?” Orlando suggested, patting Billy’s back gently. “Billy here still deserves a proper party. And we could get to know each other better.” He took the bottle from Dominic who had taken a short gulp.

“Well, I’m afraid I have to decline. Christine’s waiting for me,” Sean said, looking rather regretful. He would have liked to accompany the gang, not just for bonding reasons but to keep an eye on Elijah and prevent him from getting totally drunk with this bunch. Of course Dominic knew exactly what he was thinking. Putting one arm around Elijah’s and one around Billy’s shoulders, he offered his most sincere smile.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of Lij, right Billy?” he grinned at the Scot who nodded eagerly and took another gulp from the bottle.

“Well okay, but don’t forget about our meeting with Pete tomorrow!” And with that Sean turned around and walked back to his car.

Dominic let go of Billy who decided to call them a taxi. Leaning in to Elijah, Dominic spoke quietly. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

Elijah could feel Dominic’s soft breath on his face and a sense of warmth and security washed over him. He had to clear his throat before he was able to utter an equally quiet “okay”. And when Dominic removed his arm from around his shoulders, Elijah fought the urge to protest and he didn’t know why.

 

**~**

 

But they didn’t get to talk. They had picked a cozy little pub and Billy bought a round for everyone in honor of his 31st birthday. Orlando, as it turned out, was quite incapable of holding his liquor. He had already had quite an amount of champagne, but the two bottles of beer that followed were the final straw for him. Pretty unusual for a British guy. Billy was the most resistant one. He even managed to down three glasses of whiskey and Elijah was amazed that Billy was still able to stand afterwards. Not so unusual for a Scot. Elijah himself sucked on the same beer bottle all night long, most of all because his party mood was not really existent.

Dominic knew Elijah rather wanted to talk, but he also knew this was neither the right time nor the right place. So, he decided to do his best to take Elijah’s mind off the matter, at least for as long as they were out celebrating. And if there was one person in this world who was an expert at cheering people up and making them happy and feel good, it was Dominic Monaghan. He even managed to make Elijah laugh out loud a few times, that giggle bringing a smile to his own face. On top of that, Dominic and Billy bonded immediately. Even Elijah, in his state of mind, noticed that here two kindred spirits had met who would go perfectly together as Merry and Pippin. And he prepared himself for a couple of long months full of evil British humor. Suddenly the prospect didn’t seem that dark anymore. Even though Elijah didn’t really understand half of the jokes that these two were pulling. And Orlando was already way too wiped out to listen properly, let alone join in a conversation. But again, Elijah found himself hanging on Dominic’s lips, soaking up every word he was saying, smiling at his way of talking and joking even though he didn’t always understand it. He just enjoyed his company tremendously.

At the end of the evening, Billy did have one too many Scotches and Dominic declared it his duty to get everyone home safely. They shared a taxi and first Orlando was dropped at his house and then Billy at his. Dominic couldn’t help but feel a little envious of Orlando who stayed in a beautiful house overlooking the beach area. But he made a mental note to ask him to host a few beach parties.

And then Dominic was sitting in the back of the car with a rather sleepy Elijah next to him. He smiled quietly to himself as he saw how Elijah’s eyelids seemed to become heavier and heavier until eventually his head slid down against Dominic’s shoulder. Putting a sympathetic arm around the younger man’s shoulders Dominic pulled him a little closer against himself. He wondered how Billy and Orlando would be doing in the morning. Well, luckily that meeting with Peter wouldn’t be before noon, but he could already picture them dragging themselves out of their beds with a heavy hang-over. What a lovely first night in New Zealand, he thought with a mischievous grin.

Finally the taxi came to a halt in front of Elijah’s house. Dominic shook him awake gently, smiling as those blue eyes blinked open, looking as bright and shiny as always. Just a little sleepier.

“Hey, you’re home. Find your way from here on?” he asked with a chuckle and received a sleepy grin and a mumbled “sure” from Elijah. After opening the door on his side, Dominic slid off the backseat and went around the vehicle, holding the door open.

“Why, thank you very much, sir,” Elijah smirked as he got out of the taxi and stretched his limbs. It was a rather cool but pleasant evening and he could actually make out a few stars in the sky. Something which was impossible in smog-infested LA.

“Alright then, go and get some sleep. We’ll see each other tomorrow. And then we can talk if you still want to, yeah?” Dominic asked, a hint of concern still clearly audible in his deep voice.

“Yeah,” Elijah said, feeling a little shy all of a sudden. He could feel the eyes of the taxi driver on them and this only increased that strange feeling.

“Thank you, Dom”. Thank you for caring.

Dominic smiled and pulled him into a final farewell hug. Then he watched Elijah disappear into his house and he flopped back down into the backseat of the taxi, the space next to him suddenly feeling awfully empty.

Fifteen minutes later Dominic opened the door to his own apartment and switched the lights on. His clothes smelled like a pack of cigarettes and he shrugged them off, tossing them into the bathroom. Falling into his bed with nothing but a pair of old boxers Dominic lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, his mind repeating the events of the day. A smile spread on his lips. Tomorrow Elijah would tell him whatever was wrong. He felt strangely relieved. His instincts hadn’t failed him after all.

Turning on his side, Dominic opened the nightstand drawer and pulled his diary and a pen out of it. He moved to lie on his stomach and opened his journal for a fresh page. Then he wrote.

 

_August 28, 1999_

_Dearest diary,_

_Elijah trusts me…_

 


	4. Chapter 4

As Sean pulled the car into the driveway of the small house, he could already hear the blaring noises from inside the building. Dear God, he’ll become deaf some day, he thought but grinned nonetheless as he shook his head. Elijah and his music obsession. Sean would never understand it. But just as he was about to turn off the engine and get out of the car to ring the doorbell, the music stopped and a few seconds later Elijah appeared through the front door. With his red, long-sleeved shirt and the lightly tousled hair he made quite a mixed impression on Sean. Like he was partly juvenile and partly grown-up.

Elijah locked his house and approached the car with his screenplay copy and a notepad under his arm. He didn’t look as tired and exhausted as Sean had feared. In fact, he was looking rather refreshed.

“Morning Sean,” he said as he opened the passenger door and slipped into the seat.

“Morning? More like almost midday,” Sean chuckled as he started the engine and pulled back into the street, as always mindful of driving on the left side. Elijah turned the radio on and some band Sean didn’t know started to play. Thank God the volume was kept down this time.

“You must be happy that you don’t have any direct neighbors,” Sean stated with a grin as he glanced briefly at his passenger. “Otherwise you would have gotten 100 complaints already.”

Running a hand through his ruffled hair Elijah pulled a face but giggled nonetheless. “Yeah, but you know, I gotta take advantage of the situation. Living all alone, I can do what I wanna do. No complaints from anyone.”

Sean kept his eyes on the street, from time to time glancing into the rearview mirror. He had adjusted rather well to driving on the left side by now, though he was glad that they wouldn’t have to drive to their filming locations on their own. They’d get picked up and transferred to their destinations, but they also had cars at their disposal. But Elijah avoided his. He was rather nervous about this “wrong side” driving system.

“So, did you guys have fun last night? No one hurt or lost or arrested or something?” Sean asked with a chuckle, remembering his first meeting with Billy and Orlando the day before. They had persuaded Sean to visit Elijah, so they could get to know the “main hobbit” as they had put it. Main hobbit? Hmm, they must admit Samwise is equally important, Sean had mused, but kept those thoughts to himself. There would be time enough for that today at Pete’s house when they would do a first session of a table-read, brainstorming and characterization.

“Yeah, it was cool. And no, everyone’s fine. Though I’m afraid Billy and Orlando might be in a pretty delicate condition today,” Elijah grinned as he flipped through his copy of the “Fellowship of the Ring”-script. Then he looked up at Sean, who kept staring at the street.

“Billy’s accent is fucking amazing!” Elijah exclaimed with delight. “At first I didn’t understand a word he was saying. I mean, he’s Scottish _and_ he was fucking pissed. But he said he’d try to reduce the accent a little.”

Sean laughed as well, but still focused on the street. His hands gripped the wheel a little more tightly, determined to get himself, but most of all, Elijah safely through this traffic. “He should reduce his drinking a little as well,” he smirked.

“Hey, it was his birthday,” Elijah reasoned and then burst into laughter. “Oh my God, you should have seen them last night. He and Dom are a total dream team. Well, I didn’t understand that much of what Billy said, but Dom is so hilarious. They’ll be so perfect for their roles.”

“Hmm yeah, well let’s see how today will turn out, eh?” Sean said, missing the sudden cringe that showed on Elijah’s face as he kept his gaze straight ahead.

Elijah sat back and seemed to shrink a little in his seat. He looked out the window at his side, his mind once again drifting off. Today? Today will probably turn out to be a fucking disaster, he thought. Abusing his nails with his teeth, he emitted a quiet sigh which was luckily swallowed by the radio. But no…Dom will be there. They would talk. He would tell him everything. But when? Will there be time before the session? Fuck, please let this be over soon…

The car pulled into another street and a few minutes later Sean parked it right in front of the Jackson residence. He was still amazed by how normal it looked. As he and Elijah grabbed their scripts and notebooks and headed for the entrance, Sean wondered when Peter and Fran would finally take care of their security. They had two little children after all and their house was like any other person’s. No security buffer, easily accessible. But Peter wouldn’t listen to him. The director had assured him that New Zealand was different from Los Angeles and the Kiwi were a peaceful, friendly and open folk. Sean still hoped Peter might change his mind once the movies hit the theatres.

Fran opened the door and welcomed them inside with a smile. “Peter was still busy,” she explained, “but he’ll show up any minute, so why don’t you take a seat in the living-room already?”

“Elijah!” The accent was unmistakable and as Elijah turned around he saw Billy heading towards them through the hallway. “Hey, I’m so sorry about yesterday. That wasn’t quite the proper introduction, was it?” he said with an edgy chuckle, but Elijah just smiled and waved it off.

“Oh, never mind. Where’s Dom?”

“He’s already in there,” Billy nodded at the closed living-room door and leaning in to the two Americans he added with quiet amusement. “I’m afraid Orlando’s not really fit yet. Poor bugger’s really not used to any booze.” He quickly pulled back again as Peter came out of his office, a bunch of papers in one hand and a notepad in the other. When Elijah spotted him, the smile on his face didn’t falter but inside he was screaming. He wanted to wring his hands and he craved for a smoke, but his hands were full with the script and his own notepad. And they didn’t have any time anyway. Peter came closer and opened the door to the living-room.

“Hi Elijah…Sean…Billy,” he smiled, nodding at them since all their hands were full of papers. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

Sean led the way, followed by Billy and then Elijah. The living-room was big but nonetheless cozy and welcoming. Bright daylight streamed in through the large windows which revealed a breathtaking harbor view. Right in front of the major window Dominic was sitting on a rather worn couch. He was deeply absorbed in the script which was lying open on his knees. A blue floppy hat covered his head and he was chewing on the pen in his hand. Elijah felt a little calmer at the sight and when Dominic looked up their eyes met and they smiled at each other. Orlando was sitting in an armchair next to the couch, wearing a pair of pink sunglasses. Probably to hide his dark-rimmed eyes, Elijah thought amused. He sat down on another couch which was situated right across from the one Dominic had occupied. Sean joined him and Billy flopped down next to Dominic, emitting a relaxed sigh.

Right in the middle of their little circle a table offered different drinks like coffee, tea and water. Elijah, whose throat felt dry and a little scratchy, reached for a water glass and took a sip. As he put the glass back down and looked up he noticed how Dominic was still looking at him with a smile.

“Slept well, Lij?” he asked, and Elijah nodded, smiling back.

“Yeah, can’t complain.”

Peter closed the door and sat down in a chair. He was wearing his trademark-shorts and Elijah wondered if he was wearing them throughout the entire year. Wasn’t it cold in winter? Well, the summers in New Zealand weren’t that warm either. Did he catch a cold often? And why is so fucking hot in here all of a sudden? Elijah resisted the urge to unbutton his shirt.

Smiling into the round, Peter placed his papers onto the table and rubbed his hands together.

“Welcome to Wellington, guys. I hope everyone arrived safely and got over any kind of jetlag.”

“Or any kind of hang-over,” Orlando’s lightly scratchy voice uttered as he grinned at Billy, who was sitting directly next to him on the couch.

“Ah, admit it, you loved it,” the Scot sneered back and Peter slapped a hand against his forehead.

“Oh yes! It was your birthday right? Well, happy belated birthday, Billy,” he said, getting up to shake Billy’s hand.

“Thank you, Mr. Jackson. Uhm…I mean, Peter,” Billy smiled and took a gulp of coffee. He normally wasn’t the coffee drinking type, but after a night like the last one, caffeine was the only way to get you through the day.

“Well, alright then.” Peter sat back down and looked through a few papers. “I was thinking that maybe we should start with a little character brainstorming. You all read the script, at least I hope so, and I’d like to know your interpretation of the different characters. First of all…” Looking up from his papers he took a look around with a raised eyebrow. “Who has read the books before? Be honest,” he chuckled.

Dominic, Billy and Orlando raised their hands. Sean raised his but stopped, gesticulating with a nervous chuckle. “Well, I’m currently working on it,” he said and next to him Elijah fumbled with his pen, looking rather nervous himself but managing a professional smile.

“I read The Hobbit as a kid. But I started with Lord of the Rings now.” Great impression, Elijah. Haven’t even read the damn books yet. Really frigging awesome.

“How typical,” Billy piped with a giggle. “The only ones who read it are the Brits.” Dominic didn’t say anything. His eyes were fixed on Elijah whose unease and agitation he was sure he could feel himself.

“Ah, don’t stress yourselves out, guys,” Peter said with a reassuring smile. “We’d like to stick to Tolkien’s spirit and do him justice as well as possible of course. I hope the scripts conveyed that well enough. Hmm…” He grabbed a pen and scribbled something onto his notepad, then he looked at his papers again. “Okay, why don’t we start with our Elf outsider. Orlando?”

Orlando sat up straight and after some hesitation he took off his sunglasses, revealing a pair of dark-circled eyes which didn’t spoil his attractiveness one bit though. Clearing his throat, he turned to Peter.

“Okay well, first of all I think the Elves as Tolkien portrayed them are these angelic, courageous, compassionate and magical beings, but Legolas is totally like something out of the Seven Samurai. He has this superhuman strength, but he’s graceful and smooth in his movements, like a cat. I think I need to really work on the way he carries himself, you know, the physicality.”

Peter nodded while he was writing quickly onto his pad. “Yeah, but I don’t think you’ll have any problems with that. You’re a young, fresh and unspoiled actor,” he smiled and Orlando leaned back with a happy and satisfied feeling.

“So, on to the Hobbits. First I’d like some thoughts about Frodo and Sam individually and then about their special companionship.” Peter looked at Elijah. “Would you like to start, Elijah?”

But all Elijah was feeling in that very moment was a complete and utter blackout. His mind had lost its ability to form a single comprehensive thought and his mouth to express a coherent phrase. He caught himself staring at the director and quickly looked at the script in his hands. It was open and he could see the black letters on the white paper, but he couldn’t make out a single word. Everything seemed to have become one blurry mess and his eyes wouldn’t focus. Somewhere in the back of his head he knew what he wanted to say. He did have an image of Frodo in his mind, he just couldn’t picture himself as the one to bring this very character to life. And that was a fucking huge hell of a problem. Elijah felt everyone’s eyes on him and all he wanted to do was shrink and disappear completely. His heart was racing. He could hear someone say his name, but the voice seemed miles away. Peter’s voice. Talking to him. Addressing him again. No no no…you can’t do this, his messed up mind told him. You can’t fucking do this…you can’t pull it off…please, don’t let me cry…let me get out of this with at least a little bit of dignity left…

Across from him Dominic stared at Elijah, his own body tense and alert. He could literally sense the younger man’s inner turmoil and his fingers grasped the water glass they were holding tightly. And all of a sudden Dominic managed to catch a glimpse at Elijah’s agonized soul. Could it be? Could it be what he thought it was? But the only thing that mattered in this very moment was getting Elijah out of here. Out of this situation that seemed to slowly suffocate and swallow him completely. Think. Do something, bloody hell, do something. The glass in his hand slowly crept back into his consciousness. He had taken a sip of cool water just a minute ago and it was still almost full. He didn’t contemplate any further. With one swift movement Dominic tilted the glass, spilling the water all over Billy’s lap. Thank God it wasn’t hot tea. The Scot yelped in surprise and suddenly all eyes were fixed on the two of them. Dominic pulled the glass quickly back again and stared at Billy with wide eyes.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Billy!” he gasped, surprised by how convincing he sounded to himself. You’re not so bad after all, Monaghan. He looked up at everyone, noticing how Elijah stared at him with those wide eyes which still held their scared look. Orlando giggled and was biting on his lips to keep himself from actually laughing out loud, Sean was shaking his head lightly but grinned nonetheless and Peter raised his eyebrows, but also his face showed a light smile.

“Woah Dommeh,” Billy growled. “You’re even denser than you look.” Then he laughed, his crotch looking like he had just heavily peed into his own pants.

“Excuse me,” he said as he got up to head into the bathroom.

“Okay, let’s take a short break, eh?” Peter suggested, giggling quietly. “Should give us all the chance to get our focus back. There’s a hair-dryer in the bathroom, Billy.”

Dominic sighed with relief before the words reached him. Bathroom? But where should he take Elijah to talk? Leaving the house wasn’t an option. So before he knew it he jumped up from the couch and grabbed Elijah’s hand who was still sitting there, looking paler than usual. Dragging him along the hallway Dominic reached the bathroom before Billy did and pulled Elijah into the small room. Then he grabbed the hair-dryer and pushed it into Billy’s hand who was just about to set foot into the restroom.

“And I thought only girls go to the toilet together,” the Scot stated, but turned around again with a shrug.

After making sure that the door was locked, Dominic turned back to Elijah, his heart aching at the sight. Elijah had closed his eyes and had his face buried in his hands. He was shaking all over and at first Dominic thought he was crying. But Elijah tried very hard not to burst into tears. Taking a few careful steps towards him, Dominic eyed him for a moment.

“Elijah?” he finally asked, his voice barely above a whisper and when Elijah looked up at him, he could see tears glistening in his eyes.

“I can’t do this, Dom…” It was a rather matter-of-fact-statement and Dominic knew exactly what Elijah meant. Still he was determined to make Elijah talk. Give him the chance let it all out and get it off his chest.

“Can’t do what?”

“Play this role! It’s too much, Dom, it’s way too fucking much!”

Leaning back against the wall, Elijah slowly slid down and to the floor where he kept his face in his hands. He was breathing out in short labored intervals, obviously struggling to keep himself calm. Without taking his eyes off him, Dominic crouched down beside him and contemplated for a moment. Then he decided to give Elijah some time until he was ready to speak again. It took just a few more seconds for Elijah to look up, his red eyes revealing how much he was struggling not to cry. Watery blue eyes locked with concerned blue-grey, but above all caring eyes and Elijah was momentarily overwhelmed. There was someone who did care. Someone who was not too absorbed in the whole movie process to care about the well-being of others. Elijah took a deep breath.

“I was filming The Faculty in Texas and Harry Knowles often visited the set. You know, that Ain’t It Cool News guy, and one day he came up to me and told me they were doing Lord of the Rings as a movie trilogy. I was totally excited, but they weren’t casting yet, so I was waiting for another year. Then I got a call from my agent who asked me to audition for Frodo and I was super excited, so I went up to the Hollywood Hills with a couple of friends and created my very own audition tape. I had gotten a voice coach to get the accent right, I had a proper Frodo costume and so we shot a few scenes, you know, like we were filming a real movie…”

Elijah’s calm and steady voice trailed off as he remembered those early days, feeling melancholy as he thought about his initial excitement and how it had slowly faded away in the course of time. Dominic was listening attentively as he recalled his very own audition and how static and unpassionate it had been compared to Elijah’s. They had both auditioned for the same role, one of the three main characters next to Aragorn and Gandalf. A dream role for every actor. But Elijah’s passion was unique. Not just his music enthusiasm. Dominic could picture him in front of his inner eye, Elijah in his self-organized hobbit outfit, playing Frodo somewhere in the Hollywood Hills, being totally amazing. Then Elijah’s soft voice continued.

“We edited the scenes together and the next day I brought it into the casting office. A few months later my agent called again and told me I had gotten the role. I was so fucking overwhelmed and then after it had sunken in, I celebrated with my mom and my sister…had my brother on the phone as well…but…after some time it really struck me. I will play a literary icon, but I am not the right actor for that. I mean, just think about the expectations of the millions of fans out there, Dom. They have this exact image of Frodo in their heads, every single one of them, and then some barely legal kid comes along and fucks it all up. And that’s the last thing I want, fucking the entire movies and everyone’s work up…”

Now the tears were clearly audible in his voice and Elijah covered his eyes with his hands. It didn’t help much. He sniffed once, twice and then tears gathered behind his eyelids.

“It’s crushing me, Dom…it’s fucking crushing me…,” he whimpered into his hands and suddenly he felt something warm and soothing on his back. Dominic’s hand. The other one gently touched his shoulder and Elijah pulled his own hands away from his face but only to lean a little more forward and sink into Dominic’s waiting embrace. Wrapping his arms around his friend’s neck, Elijah squeezed his eyes shut as the tears began to flow. But as consoling and soothing as the feeling was, Elijah had probably never felt more ashamed in his entire life. Here he was, crouching on the floor of Peter Jackson’s bathroom, sobbing in the arms of his new friend who very likely thought of him as the most ungrateful bastard ever. Despite Dominic’s softly caressing hands on his back, Elijah felt he didn’t deserve this compassionate behavior. It was his own fault after all.

He wasn’t quite sure how long they had been in this miserable position when suddenly Dominic’s quiet voice spoke right next to his ear.

“Hey hey hey…now, you take a deep breath and listen to this old wise man here.”

Finally Elijah let go and pulled back a little, wiping the last of the tears away from his cheeks. Leaning back against the wall, he looked into Dominic’s face which showed a faint reassuring smile. Elijah wanted to smile back, but it was impossible. Getting it all off his chest had been such a relief, but it quickly subsided. He felt crappy and wretched beyond words.

“I’m so sorry, Dom,” he murmured, sniffing one last time. “Gosh, I’m so fucking pathetic...”

“Elijah,” Dominic interrupted him quickly, determined to put an end to this before Elijah could drag himself even further down. “First of all, you are _not_ a pathetic wanker or whatever you think you are. You are Elijah Wood, and you should be damn proud of that.”

Elijah just looked at him blankly, obviously still way too caught up in his despair. Dominic had listened to him, to every single word, and heard the change of emotions in his voice. How Elijah had started with a calm tone, telling him about his audition tape, even a faint hint of bliss in the words. And then he had poured it out and Dominic felt so thankful. Thankful for the faith and confidence because now he was finally able to help. He tried to imagine how Elijah must have suffered and tortured himself during these past weeks, probably months. But no more…never again…

“Yes, you’re right,” Dominic continued, using his most resolute voice. “Frodo _is_ a literary icon, has always been and always will be. But that’s not the point. Of course everyone’s got their personal image and interpretation of him in their head. As of every other character in the books. But all you can do is bring him to life with the help of Pete in the best way possible and I think that’s gonna be a mightily interesting challenge. You cannot please everyone and it’s not the fans’ expectations you have to live up to, Lij. It’s your very own and you have to portray that as well as you can…”

“No Dom,” Elijah interrupted, still wiping at his eyes. “It’s not just the interpretation. It’s also me. I’m not good enough! I only just left my childhood behind me. I used to play those cute little boys with the big blue eyes and that was probably all it required to satisfy the audience. But Frodo is such a grown up role…”

“Elijah no, listen…Peter and the casting crew gave this role to you, _you_ and no one else. They know that if the casting for Frodo isn’t right, the movies will very likely blow. But they have such faith in you, and if you ask me it’s totally justified. Frodo is an innocent, peaceful hobbit who faces the adventure of his lifetime. And now look at you. Who could portray that better than you? You have this pure innocence to you, but you’re also so sophisticated and worldly at the same time. And that’s totally Frodo. I can’t wait to see you in costume and finally film your very first scene. It’s gonna be so great, Lij, for all of us…”

And the longer Dominic was talking, the more he got filled up with excitement and anticipation which didn’t come unnoticed. Elijah was listening now, not staring blankly anymore. And Dominic hoped he could convey at least a little amount of his own enthusiasm to make Elijah see the light. Make him see what could lie ahead for all of them. What was possible.

“I think every actor tends to be their own biggest critic,” Dominic spoke softly and with a gentle smile. “And it’s only natural for you to feel like this. But you’ll see, once you and Pete start working on Frodo, you’ll forget about all this bollocks. Just let yourself go and embrace the experience. We’ll nail it, Lij…we’ll nail it together…”

Elijah blinked a few times, but he didn’t cry anymore. He was just sitting there, letting it all sink in. Dominic kept smiling at him and Elijah didn’t know how he did it. He just smiled and Elijah felt calm. It made sense. Everything Dominic had said and after weeks of approaching and engulfing darkness Elijah was finally able to see a faint light in the distance. He sniffed again but only because his nose was running. Dominic moved over to the toilet and reached for the paper, ripping a couple of sheets off and handing them to Elijah who first wiped his eyes and then blew his nose. And then he smiled and Dominic couldn’t tell how happy he felt at that sight. He knelt down in front of him again.

“We’ll nail it…,” Elijah said. There was confidence in his voice and his smile didn’t falter.

“Damn right,” Dominic said, smiling back and pointing his finger at the bathroom door. “And now you’ll go back in there and show Peter and the world what Elijah Wood’s Frodo is made of.”

He knew Elijah would probably always feel a certain amount of pressure and no one was able to take it all off him. But they were all in the same boat and all they could do was give their best and play their roles with the greatest passion they could muster. Because passion was the key to this project.

“Thank you, Dom.”

“You’re very welcome, Lij.” Dominic got back on his feet before reaching down and offering his hand to help Elijah up. Elijah accepted it gratefully and Dominic pulled him up from the cold bathroom floor. Then they both winced. For a split second they felt a rush of something flow through their bodies as they came to stand face to face, Elijah’s hand still in Dominic’s. Elijah’s heart began to race and Dominic swallowed hard. He let go of the smooth, pale hand. Elijah caught himself wanting to protest, just like yesterday, when Dominic had removed his arm from around his shoulders. But why? Feeling confused for a moment Elijah shook his head, trying to clear his mind. That seemed to work or at least he thought it did. He glanced at himself in the mirror, noticing his dark-circled and lightly puffy eyes.

“Fuck…I look like shit…,” he growled, his heart still pounding.

Dominic ripped off a few more toilet paper sheets and held them under streaming cold water in the sink. Then he pressed them onto Elijah’s eyes, carefully wetting and cooling the skin. He swallowed once more. How he’d love to hug Elijah again. God damnit…

The cool wetness felt so good on Elijah’s eyes and after a few more minutes his sore skin felt a little better. When he tossed the paper into the garbage can, someone knocked at the door.

“Hey guys! You ready? Peter would love to continue!” Orlando’s muffled voice proclaimed.

“Coming!” Dominic shouted back before turning to Elijah once more. “After you, Mr. Frodo,” he smiled and unlocked the door. Elijah smiled back as he moved through the door and went back into the living-room, followed by Dominic.

“Elijah?” Sean asked with concern as the younger man entered the room. Elijah’s eyes were still a little red and sore, but he didn’t really care.

“Everything okay?” Sean inquired and then looked at Dominic who entered the room close behind. Elijah sat down on his seat again and so did Dominic across from them. Sean’s eyes traveled from Elijah to the Brit and back to Elijah. Then he eyed Dominic again with a certain amount of mistrust. Just like the day before when he, Orlando and Billy had crashed Elijah’s house. What the heck was going on here?

Everyone took a seat again, including Billy with his now dry pants.

“Okay, where were we…” Peter said, grabbing his pen and his notepad. “Right, Frodo and Sam and their relationship. Elijah?”

Elijah looked across the table at Dominic who nodded briefly and in a subtle manner. Elijah understood. He opened his copy of the script and grabbed his pad and pen. And only then it hit him. His blackout earlier, the water glass, the break…it had been Dominic. Dominic who had saved him. And his heart began to race again. He took a quick gulp of water and cleared his throat, concentrating on his notes and the script in his hands.

“Well, I think Frodo is quite similar to me in some ways. He’s got this quietness and he’s kind of internal and thinks a lot. He’s curious about the outside world, I think mainly because he has heard all those adventure stories from his uncle. His development is really interesting because he goes from being this innocent, curious adventurer at the beginning to being a flawed and conflicted character…”

Elijah’s initial insecurity turned into a rather vivid rant and Dominic wondered if he was the only one who noticed the change. Listening to Elijah, hearing his view and description of the character he was to play filled Dominic with a certain feeling. Was it pride? Relief? But most definitely happiness. For he hadn’t just managed to help Elijah out of the dark hole. They had shared something that no one could take away from them ever again.

“And as for Frodo and Sam, well, their relationship is pretty difficult to describe. It’s a master and servant relationship, Sam comes from a different class and is very very loyal and wants to serve Frodo. But above all they are best friends…”

While he was speaking, Elijah shifted his gaze and looked into Dominic’s eyes, a totally unconscious motion. Dominic looked back at him, absorbing every word.

“And… it’s this friendship that eventually enables Frodo to carry out his quest. I think it’s unconditional love that says: regardless of what you do or where you go, I will always be there for you.”

And I will always be there for you, Dominic thought, answering Elijah in his mind. You’re not alone on this quest. We’ll make it together…

 


	5. Chapter 5

“I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan…,” The rusty metal sword felt strangely good in his grip as Dominic lifted it up, holding it in front of his body with both hands and with his legs spread apart. His gaze was fixed on one spot in front of him and his voice held the perfect Darth Vader tone. “We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”

“Only a master of evil, Darth!” Billy shouted, drawing his own sword. The two men were standing opposite each other, each of them focusing their “enemy” with dark glares.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” Dominic replied and moved his sword, the blunt blade clinking against his opponent’s. Billy took a few steps backwards as they got engaged in a brief fight with strikes and counter strikes. The interruption by a third person made them stop. They turned around, spotting another guy with eager eyes running towards them, a drawn sword clutched in one hand.

“I’m Luke Skywalker! I’m here to rescue you,” Elijah proclaimed with heroic enthusiasm as he looked at Billy, barely able to suppress a giggle. The Scot just stared back with a frown and then spoke with his girliest Princess Leia voice.

“You’re who?”

All three of them burst into laughter and Dominic pulled his sword back, eyeing Elijah up and down.

“Impressive. Most impressive,” he stated, still totally in character. “Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.”

Elijah lifted his sword once again and he heard Billy tell him to “Use the force, Luke” as he forced Dominic backwards, both guys grinning and panting lightly from the physical effort of their little Star Wars re-enactment. Blade hit against blade and Elijah emitted an evil laughter as he managed to grab Dominic’s shoulder and pretended to stab him with the tip of his sword. Dominic laughed and jumped backwards, lifting his weapon again. Elijah was standing a few feet away from him, panting and beaming. His flushed face, the smile on his lips and the giddy sparkle in his eyes made Dominic cheer inwardly. The difference since their confidential talk about five weeks ago was amazing. Elijah had lost his edginess and the sporadic unease in his eyes was gone. It was a difference like day and night and Dominic swore to himself to keep an eye on his friend, making sure he’d never fall into that dark hole again.

But judging from Elijah’s current state, he was no longer in danger of losing himself in some self-created depression. He was practically radiating, in his black t-shirt and blue jeans, looking like the most enthusiastic person with his sword tightly in his hand. And one thing was for sure, his passion was back. And here they were now about to do some more fencing practice as a part of their six weeks boot camp. Dialect coaching, Hobbit costume fittings, sword practice…slowly but surely it was getting serious. Next week principal photography would start.

Dominic eyed Elijah closely and then nodded in admiration.

“No more training do you require,” he said, switching from the dark Darth Vader into the typical, wise Yoda tone. “Already know you, that which you need.”

Elijah giggled again. Dominic was probably the best impersonator he had ever met.

“Then I am a Jedi,” Elijah declared, swelling with pride and raising his chin in mock-satisfaction.

“No. Not yet. One thing remains. Vader. You must confront Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi will you be. And confront him you will.”

Dominic turned back into Vader-mode and drew his sword, striking it against Elijah’s. They continued fighting, laughing and jumping around, totally absorbed by their silly role-play. Dominic was quite skilled with the blade by now and Elijah did his best to keep up. It seemed to have become a habit. Elijah always wanted to keep up now. Whenever he could, he tried to join Dominic’s and Billy’s fooling around sessions and he had a blast, Dominic could not only see it, but feel it as well. Elijah had finally been lured out of his shell and was now eager to participate in everything. Whenever he was in their company, he came to life and glowed with happiness.

“Hey guys!” Sean moved towards them, sword in hand and a concerned frown on his forehead. “Weapons are no toys. You should be a little more careful.”

Elijah had just dropped his blade and lifted his hands, surrendering himself with a grin. Dominic pulled his sword back and Elijah picked his up again.

“Ah come on, Seanie,” Dominic snorted. “You can’t even slice butter with these things.”

“Still.” Sean crossed his arms. “You should take all this a little more seriously.”

Dominic, Billy and Elijah looked at each other and then grinned evilly. Together they raised their swords and pretended to chase after a rather shocked Sean. But when he realized it was just a game he actually managed to laugh.

“You guys are such idiots,” he giggled and then another sword practice session with their coach began.

They were all quite skilled already, so it didn’t take that long, but it was huge fun. At the end of the day Dominic wished he had not put this long-sleeved shirt on. The fabric was soaked with sweat and he longed for a shower. But Elijah was still radiating and looking like he had just gone for a stroll. It was still a strange sight for Dominic to see him handle a weapon like that. The rusty metal stood in great contrast to his perfect and pale porcelain skin. But as he was standing there now, with his blade in his hand, doing a few final movements with it, his eyes still sparkling, Dominic thought Elijah had never looked more beautiful. But it wasn’t just this beauty that made Dominic swallow hard or his heart beat a little faster every time Elijah looked at him, let alone smiled at him. No, there was something else. Something that had slowly came over Dominic during the past weeks. Something that had grown steadily ever since.

“Hey, you daydreaming?” Billy ripped him out of his thoughts as he slapped his back before sitting down on one of the side benches and taking a sip from a water bottle. Dominic joined him, his eyes still on Elijah who had finally let go of his sword and now wiped the sweat away from his forehead. Sean had already said good-bye since he was due for another costume fitting.

Elijah came over and flopped down between them. “That was fucking cool. I love sword fighting, makes you feel like you’re in a real adventure movie.”

“We _are_ going to be in a real adventure movie, you bugger,” Billy laughed and handed the bottle to Elijah.

“Me what? Is that another one of your British slang words?”

Dominic glanced at Billy and then they grinned mischievously. “Hmm…I think someone needs a little lesson in the theory and practice of British swearing, don’t you Bills?” Dominic grinned and Billy nodded.

“Oh-oh, what have I gotten myself into?” Elijah pulled a grimace but looked happy as ever. He absolutely enjoyed spending time with these two who were so different from anyone he’d ever met, especially in the movie business. And Dominic was just…well, unique was probably the right word.

“Okay, as you might probably already know,” Dominic began in his most lecturing tone, “the terms bloody and sodding pretty much equal the American fucking…”

“And can be used in the same manner as fucking or fuck,” Billy continued. “Like sod it, sod off, sod you, bloody hell…”

“Just as buggering hell, bugger it and so on.”

Elijah didn’t know who to stare at as he struggled to suppress his laughter. “Holy shit, I’m glad Sean isn’t here anymore,” he giggled.

“Well, in that case you could say, ‘sod off, wanker,“ Dominic said, amused by Elijah’s huge eyes looking back at him. “Wanking is, you know, when you have some fun with yourself and your little hobbit down there.”

Now Elijah couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Sean’s right, you _are_ fucking crazy. Tell me more, tell me more!” he inquired as he caught himself hanging on Dominic’s lips again.

“The wanking expressions?” Dominic grinned. “Oh well, you could also say you choke the chicken or you burp the worm.”

“Burp the worm?” Elijah giggled. “Wouldn’t burp the snake be more logical, you know, concerning the size and all?”

“Absobloodylutely,” Dominic agreed, also glad that Sean wasn’t present. He’d probably kick their asses for corrupting their young friend like this. But Dominic knew better. Their way of having fun differed immensely from Sean’s sense of humor, well, the American humor in general. Yet Elijah was more than eager to join in and adapt to the British wittiness, even though he was far from understanding it all. In fact, it was very easy to pull his leg without Elijah even noticing. But that was another nice way to bond, all in good spirits of course. It had always been easy for Dominic to entertain people with his sense of comedy and draw them to him. And it made him all the happier to see Elijah respond like this. Elijah who was like him in many ways, yet so different from him in many others. But that was exactly what drew him to Elijah.

“And to mention some more swearwords and insults,” Billy carried on now. “There are various nice expressions like rubbish, shite, twat…”

“Bollocks, bullock-brain, cunt-face…oh, and if you wanna tell someone to sod off without words,” Dominic raised his hand and extended index and middle finger vertically. “Use the two finger salute.”

Elijah stared at those long, captivating fingers for a moment, then he blinked. “Okay okay, I got it!” Elijah chuckled, raising his hands in defeat. “I gotta write all that down one day.”

And so it went on. Elijah seeking the company of his British mates more and more often, Dominic enjoying making him laugh and give him a good time, Elijah smiling at him, looking at him, listening to him in fascination…and Dominic found himself wondering more and more often, what could be if things were different? If they weren’t about to rise to eternal stardom with a big movie trilogy? If they were ordinary people? Somewhere else, in another life? But most importantly, could Elijah’s intentions be the same? Only one thing was certain at this very moment. Dominic was drawn to this guy. And it was wrong, so so wrong. Even if Elijah felt at least a little amount of attraction – which Dominic could in no way be sure of – it could never be reality. Never, not in a million years. And that was one mighty depressing thought that Dominic couldn’t let go of as he went home at the end of the day.

As he entered his apartment and locked the door, Dominic stared ahead for a moment. His home was in quite a mess, as usual, but it made him feel at home even more. After a long shower he slowly strolled through the room. His diary on the bedside table caught his eyes. A book full of stories, thoughts, experiences, memories. His life, his turn of career, his arrival in New Zealand, his cast-mates…he let himself fall on the bed and reached for the diary, slowly flipping through the pages and smiling at the memories. The latest entries were filled with boot camp rants, costume and sword training remarks. But one word caught his eye more than any other. Elijah.

Sighing lightly, Dominic grabbed his pen and started another entry.

_October 8, 1999_

_Dear diary,_

_Next week we’ll start to shoot. It’s amazing how time seems to fly by. These last weeks of training were great. It gave us all a chance, not just to prepare ourselves for the roles, but also to bond some more. We’re a close bunch and it’s a bloody good feeling._

Dominic looked at the words. Bond. Close. Good feeling…he knew that especially one person was responsible for that good feeling. A young man with the most beautiful smile, the most adorable giggle, the most fascinating eyes and the sweetest personality. He sighed again and chewed briefly on his pen, then he continued writing.

_We’re such tight mates here. Billy is like my brother in spirit, he’s totally one of a kind. Orlando is like a child in a grown-up’s body and it’s just fun to hang out with him. Sean is, well, he’s Sean. I know he thinks that we Brits are a little strange sometimes, but hey who doesn’t, eh?_

_And Elijah…he’s probably the sweetest, loveliest and simply most adorable guy I’ve ever met. I remember before I got to know him I was a little prejudiced and didn’t quite know what to expect. But he’s so endearing and wonderful. After our talk he finally managed to shove off the weight that had tortured him for so long. And now it’s like he’s finally able to enjoy his time here and look forward to the experience. And it’s such a joy to watch him and simply have him near me. He’s just…it’s so hard to describe. He’s a friend, a very very dear friend, but he’s also so much more to me. Whenever we’re together, there’s such an energy and attraction between us. And it’s not like that with Billy who’s like another brother to me. It’s something completely different. But I’m afraid chances that Elijah might feel at least a little bit of what I am beginning to feel are as good as zero. I know he’s fond of me. Sometimes he looks at me in a way I can’t really figure out. I also know it would be totally unfair to confront him with this now. We have a 16 months movie shoot ahead of us. There must be tons of other concerns and thoughts on his mind. And I don’t even know his preference. He never talks about this kind of stuff. I don’t know what experiences he made in the past and it’s not really my business, right? And who am I anyway that I actually believe there might be something? That there could be something more? He’s Elijah Wood, and who am I? Damnit, I don’t know what to do…_

Dominic stopped again and looked at the words. He was beating around the bush and he knew it. He couldn’t even tell his diary. That Elijah attracted him. Attracted him like no one else did. In a romantic way. But what did he expect now? Running a hand through his growing hair, Dominic sighed with frustration. There was no way. He might as well face it now. Forget it, Monaghan. Don’t be daft. Knock it out of your head.

“God…what are you doing to me, Lij…,” he murmured quietly into the empty bedroom. He picked up his pen again and ended his entry with a slightly shaking hand.

_I made a silent promise to Elijah. I promised him I would always be there for him and get him through the darkest times if he has to face them ever again. And I’ll stick to that promise. I’ll be there for him, but I won’t burden him with something that will never be reality anyway. I’ll finish now. Thanks for listening to me._

He closed the diary and sighed once more. Then he turned on his back and stared at the ceiling for a very long time. How could this happen? When did it happen? All he had wanted was to go to New Zealand and be a part of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. He had been over the moon when he gotten the role. But he had gotten so much more and something he had absolutely not, not in the least, reckoned with.

 

~**~

 

The sun was just rising and it was still rather chilly as Elijah made his way to the feet trailer on this mid-October morning. But it wasn’t just any morning, it was their very first day of filming. Elijah couldn’t help but tremble lightly with anxiety, but most of all, with anticipation. He clutched his cd case and his script papers a little tighter as he slowly moved up the stairs and opened the door. He was already wearing his hobbit pants, but the upper half of his body was yet to be transformed into Frodo.

“Good morning!” he smiled as he stepped into the trailer. Sean and Billy were already sitting in their seats and two make up girls were momentarily busy with slicking their hair back.

“Morning,” everyone replied in unison and Elijah placed his case on a table on the other side of the room. He opened it and then pulled some random albums out of it. Sean looked over at him and grinned as he was sipping his coffee.

“Oh Lij, please have some mercy and keep the volume on an endurable level.”

“Hey, it’s 5 in the morning. I’m just keeping everyone from falling asleep,” Elijah grinned back as he placed a cd into the stereo system on the table. He had organized one, insisting that music would help them all start the day. It definitely used to help him start his, especially if a long day of filming was lying ahead of him.

“Very good idea,” Billy agreed and shoved another spoon full of porridge into his mouth.

Pressing the play button, Elijah turned around and sat down on his chair, just as his make up girl entered the trailer, followed by a very tired looking Dominic and another make up artist. When Dominic heard the first tunes of Radiohead coming from the cd player, he managed to form a smile.

“Ah, thanks Elijah,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Saved my morning.”

Elijah chuckled as he watched Dominic sit down in his chair on the other side of the trailer. He kept observing his friend through the make up mirror, wondering if Dominic had slept at all. He didn’t look like he had as he lifted a plastic cup of coffee to his mouth. Elijah placed his script papers on his lap as his make up girl started to put loads of gel into his hair and ran a comb through it. Going through his lines once more, Elijah felt his anticipation increase. He glanced into the mirror once more and caught Dominic looking at him over the edge of his cup. Both exchanged a smile and Dominic looked down at his own script. Leaning back against the backrest of his chair, Elijah continued to study his lines but only for a few seconds before his gaze was drawn into the mirror again. The captivating blue-grey eyes were still looking down at the script.

Something in his stomach made Elijah squirm lightly in his seat. A strange throbbing feeling in his belly that left him a little restless. Look at me, he thought, his eyes still fixed on the mirror. Please, look at me again. Then he swallowed and frowned. What is it? What is this? What is happening? Please, Dom. Please, look at me once more…Just in that moment Dominic looked up again and glanced into the mirror, first at himself and then his eyes shifted, meeting Elijah’s. The feeling in Elijah’s stomach got stronger and stronger and his fingers absentmindedly fumbled with the papers. But his eyes wouldn’t turn away. It was as if his gaze was glued to this very particular spot and it didn’t really help that Dominic kept staring back at him. Elijah finally managed to smile faintly, but the other man didn’t smile back this time. They kept watching each other and Elijah placed a hand on his belly. The feeling had seized him a few weeks earlier for the very first time. He had been lying on his bed, listening to some music while his mind tried to assimilate all the experiences he had made up until this point. How he’d gotten the role, how he had arrived in New Zealand, how he had met Sean, Billy, Orlando…and it all came down to one moment. Dominic’s eyes locking with his, almost two months ago, in front of that hotel.

Elijah was forced to look down as his make up girl stepped in front of his chair and started to put powder on his face with a soft pad. Concentrating on his script again, Elijah struggled to shove the tingle away, somewhere far away, into the darkest corner of his consciousness.

 

~**~

 

Mount Victoria, 196 meters high, east of the center of Wellington. The Town Belt area, a 1096 acres large park region on the hill, was particularly busy on this very day as, accompanied by a camera on rails, four hobbits were sprinting through the woodland. Suddenly they came to an abrupt halt, or rather tried to, as an incline opened up in front of them. Pippin stopped dead in his tracks and glanced down, his hands full of cabbages and other vegetables. A millisecond later Merry bumped into his back, followed by Frodo who was shoved by Sam who couldn’t brake in time. They tumbled over the edge and landed on top of each other on a fluffy safety mat.

“Holy mother of God and hells bells,” Billy shouted before bursting into laughter. “Who the hell was that?”

Elijah, who was lying right on top of him, turned red as a beet. Dominic slowly lifted his body off Elijah’s and looked at him with wide eyes.

“Elijah!” he mock-gasped. “I am shocked!” Then he joined Billy’s laughter and sat back on his haunches after Sean had crawled off him.

“I uhm…,” Elijah stammered, leaning back on his hands. “It wasn’t me, it was Billy!”

“Ha, nice try, Lij,” Billy chuckled as he slowly stood up. Sean looked at the three and frowned as he adjusted his clothes.

“What? What is it?” he asked.

“Elijah let out a little tommy squeaker,” Dominic grinned, but then shrugged. “Don’t worry, Lij. Even hobbits are only human. Or something like that…”

Elijah grinned back despite the deep embarrassment. “Well, it’s all your fault. Your landing position was pretty inconvenient.”

Dominic laughed and helped Elijah to his feet.

“Ah, good thing Sean didn’t land on you then, eh?” Billy giggled as he joined them.

Snorting and placing his hands on his belly, Sean replied. “This is all for the role, Mr. Boyd. And I landed on Dom who landed on Elijah. So, I take the whole blame.”

All for of them laughed as Peter stepped towards them, rubbing his hands.

“That was great, guys,” he said, lifting his thumb. “I don’t think we have to take another shot.”

“Thank God!” Dominic howled, patting Elijah’s back teasingly and Elijah blushed even more. A brief break was announced and a make up girl quickly powdered their faces. Dominic waited until she was finished with Elijah, then he stepped up to him.

“So, how are you feeling?” he asked.

Elijah looked up and smiled. “Good. Now that we’ve finally started shooting it’s like the adventure’s begun at last.”

Dominic smiled at Elijah’s enthusiasm. Not long ago Elijah had been on the verge of dropping everything. And now here he was. As Frodo, looking content and at ease with himself and the world. A lot had changed after their talk in Peter Jackson’s bathroom. Elijah was eager and ready for his quest. The crushing self-doubts were history and he was finally able to show his true colors. Leaving Dominic with sleepless night after sleepless night and a tingling feeling in his stomach…

“You look great, Lij. Look at you, all in costume. You’re perfect.”

Perfect…in every way...

Elijah looked at him with grateful eyes. “Thank you so much again, Dom. I could never have done this without your help.”

God…those eyes. Those intense blue-grey eyes that still held that caring look. This guy who made him laugh, who had been there for him like no one else, whose company was the most refreshing and enjoyable thing ever. And the throbbing came back, deep down in the pit of his belly. Elijah looked down at the sand.

“Hey, no need to thank me. As the beautiful Beatles sang, ‘I get by with a little help from my friends’,” Dominic said softly and smiled. “And you won’t regret it. You’re already the biggest star of us, but you’ll be even bigger after this. And you’ll be swamped by the ladies,” he added with a wink.

Elijah still looked down and grinned, but he looked lightly uncomfortable. “Yeah,” he chuckled. “Maybe…”

Dominic kept watching him, not quite knowing what to make of this reaction. He gave it another try.

“Hey, we all will,” he said, nudging Elijah lightly. “Though well, me probably not so much. I’ve never been quite lucky with the females. Three times, but the right one was never among them.”

Finally Elijah lifted his eyes again and looked at him. “Yeah…I had a relationship once. Rather short though, when I was 16. Didn’t really work out.”

“No?” Dominic raised an eyebrow. “Why not? If you don’t mind me asking.” What the heck are you doing, he asked himself. But he couldn’t help it. He needed to know. He needed to know more.

Elijah shrugged and looked down. “I don’t know. It was this total puppy thing, you know. Love letters and stuff. But…it didn’t feel right somehow…”

“Hmm,” Dominic said and then an encouraging smile spread on his face. “Hey, you’re still young. You have plenty of time for that.”

Elijah looked up again, an expression in his eyes that Dominic couldn’t quite read. But the intensity and also the rather long time that those blue orbs gazed at him left Dominic lightly confused. “Yeah,” Elijah finally said. And the tone of his voice made it clear that a change of subject would be quite welcome.

Peter’s voice made them both turn around as he announced through his megaphone. “Alright everyone! Let’s continue!”

Dominic smiled at Elijah and nodded into the direction of the rest of the cast and crew. “Let’s continue.”

And Elijah smiled back.

After nearly twelve hours of filming Peter finally called it a day. The very first day of shooting ended with four exhausted hobbits who agreed that going out would probably not be the best idea today. Instead, after the removal of their wigs, hobbit feet and ears, they made their way home, knowing that another busy lay ahead of them. They knew they’d eventually get used to the schedule and, as worn out as they were right now, they had enjoyed every single minute of the day.

Elijah closed his door behind himself and leaned back against it for a moment. Closing his eyes, he let the peaceful silence surround him. His very first day as Frodo. And boy, how he had loved it. A few weeks ago the mere thought of hearing Peter call “Action!” and actually starting to film had made his blood freeze. Now there was confidence, eagerness and passion. The passion he had felt as he had filmed his very own audition tape in the Hollywood Hills. It now seemed like a lifetime ago.

Moving over to his stereo system, Elijah placed his cd case down. The Smashing Pumpkins album lay where he had put it the night before and disc 1 was still in the player. “Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness”. A constant companion for different moods. Elijah pressed the shuffle button. Soft music began.

He went over to the window and opened it, letting the cool evening air surround him. Lighting a cigarette and taking a deep drag, he let his eyes roam the city lights.

 

_Take me down, to the underground_

_Won't you take me down, to the underground_

_Why of why, there is no light_

_And if I can't sleep, can you hold my life_

_And all I see is you_

 

Elijah closed his eyes as the lyrics drifted into his mind. And all I see is you…all I see is them…blue-grey eyes…a cheeky smile…

He opened his eyes again and took another puff, leaning his head against the window frame. God…this couldn’t be…could it? No. No way.

His first relationship. That huge failure. Whose fault had it been? He couldn’t explain it to himself for a very long time. She had been nice. She had been passionate. She had been pretty. And he? He had been fond of her. But he had felt nothing. Nothing that could have been a sign of something more. It had just felt…strange. The kisses, the hugs, the caressing. But nothing more had happened. Nothing more could happen because to Elijah it hadn’t felt right. And he had wondered what the hell was the reason for that. But he hadn’t been able to get an answer. At least not one that would satisfy him. He had shoved _that_ particular possibility far far away into the last dark corner of his mind. And now, as he was standing at his living room window, staring into nothingness, other images filled his head. His mother, his father. The fights and the tears he had witnessed and that had left him sleepless for countless nights. He swallowed hard. He had been the reason for the divorce, no matter what his mother or his sister said. And he would not bring sadness over the family again.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into the night. “I’m so sorry…”

 

_There is a sun, it'll come, the sun, I hear them call me down_

_I held you once, a lover that once, and life had just begun_

_And you're all I see..._

_And trumpets blew, and angels flew on the other side_

_And you're all I see, and you're all I'll need_

_There's a love that God puts in your heart_

 

His shaking hand lifted the cigarette one more time, his eyes fixed on one spot in the distance. Stop it! Stop it and give me some peace…

But the warmth that filled Elijah’s heart as he thought about _him_ would not vanish.

And, what frightened him the most, he didn’t want it to vanish.

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Okay, guys. You know what to do, right?” Peter asked, getting the camera ready for another scene in the fading daylight. Elijah, Sean, Dominic and Billy all nodded in unison, but Peter repeated one more time. “Just run into that direction,” he pointed at a river with a wooden landing stage in the distance. “And as fast as you can. Remember, a bunch of evil Black Riders is behind you.”

It was almost a week into principal photography and so far everything had gone according to plan, except for the replacement of one of their leading actors. But despite the stress this had caused, Peter had never lost his good spirits. Nothing seemed to dampen his mood which was really remarkable, considering the size of this project. He was truly an exception in the business.

“Action!” Peter shouted through his megaphone and the hobbits started to run across the grass that was leading to the river shore. Since Frodo was supposed to stay a little behind, Elijah waited a few more seconds before following the other three. It was the second day of filming at Keeling Farm in Manukau, about 80 miles outside the city of Wellington. After a thrilling Weathertop scene with their new Aragorn, Viggo Mortensen, in a studio in Wellington, the four hobbits were on their own again. Even Dominic seemed to have gotten used to the early waking hours by now, as Elijah had noticed. It was a blast fooling around with him and Billy on set in between takes, and whenever Elijah or anyone else was in danger of too much work pressure, the two saved the day with their special, goofy spirits. And Elijah found himself struggling to repress what was growing inside him more and more often. It seemed to work, at least throughout the days, but at nights it was more difficult and he had some trouble falling asleep sometimes. 

Now, as they were running towards the river, shooting another scene, it was easier. Billy was at the front, with Dominic close behind. These action scenes were most fun to Billy who was already looking forward to all the fight scenes for Return of the King. But that would also mean less scenes with Dominic and the other hobbits, something he couldn’t quite picture yet. He had grown to love his best “hobbit” friend and considered him more as a brother than a mate. An English bloke and a Scot becoming best friends? Who would have thought, he sometimes thought with amusement.

Since he was leading their small group of fleeing hobbits, Billy could already spot the river in the distance. He headed towards it when he suddenly heard a scream behind him. It was Dominic’s voice, sounding like he was in heavy pain. Billy quickly turned around and saw his friend crouch on the ground, holding his foot and emitting miserable whimpering noises. Billy rushed over to his side and knelt down, noticing how Dominic’s pain-stricken face was covered with sweat.

“Dom!” he shouted. “What is it, what happened?”

Dominic, who was still clutching his foot, slowly leaned back to lie in the grass.

“I must have stepped on something,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Some huge piece of glass or something. Fucking hell, that hurts like shit!”

Just a second later Sean arrived, looking from Dominic to Billy and back at Dominic’s moaning form.

“What's wrong?”

But Billy didn’t have time to explain as Elijah sprinted towards them and fell to his knees right next to Dominic’s head. He was completely out of breath and his eyes, wide with panic, stared at Dominic’s face.

“Oh my God, what happened?” he gasped, his voice reaching a high-pitched, distressed level. Billy explained and Sean took a look at the aching foot. 

“Hmm, there’s no blood. Must have gone right through the prosthetic.”

“I’ll be damned if that’s not some glass splinter or something,” Dominic grunted and let go of his foot, stretching his leg out on the ground. He frowned as something warm suddenly touched his hand and it took his pain-tortured mind a few seconds to understand what it was. Turning his head to the side, he noticed how his hand was covered by a softer hand with pale skin. Elijah was holding his hand in his and looked down at him with such intense concern that Dominic wanted to cry. Not just cry but reach up and touch that perfect cheek, assuring Elijah that he would be fine and, above all, to erase that fretful look from his beautiful face.

“It’s okay, Dom,” Elijah placed his free hand on the sweaty forehead. Dominic managed a faint smile and a brief nod and Elijah tightened his hold on his hand. 

Peter and two men from the First Aid crew hurried over to them and Dominic told them what had happened. Billy and Sean stood up and stepped back, so the paramedics could first cut open the prosthetic and then examine Dominic’s foot. But Elijah kept kneeling next to him, both his hands now holding Dominic’s.

Billy watched the scene with a slightly tilted head. He knew Dominic and Elijah had a special friendship. Two guys from different parts of the world. They had a chemistry going for them that was just as special as the one between himself and the Brit. But as he was observing them now, Elijah’s eyes fixed on Dominic’s face as Dominic watched the paramedic pull something out of his sole with a pair of tweezers, Billy realized just how special it was.

Finally the nasty object was removed and the assistant held it up. Billy struggled very hard not to burst into laughter. It was indeed a splinter, but it wasn’t made of glass. It wasn’t huge either. In fact, it was a wooden splinter and very tiny. 

“Oh dear, I can’t believe you made such a fuss about _that_!” Billy gasped and couldn’t help but chuckle. 

Dominic leaned up on his elbows as he looked at the small splinter.

“Well, it hurt like hell. I thought they’d have to amputate my foot.”

Elijah, who still hadn’t let go of Dominic’s hand, looked up at Billy, a reproachful look in his eyes.

“Even a small splinter can hurt a fucking lot! And Dom was obviously in some serious pain, so no need to laugh about it.”

Billy raised his hands in defense as he replied. “Hey, I’m sorry. And I wasn’t laughing. Just well…surprised...” Elijah had turned his head around again and looked at Dominic. The concerned frown was still there. It’s okay, Lij, Billy thought. I was worried, too.

“As I always say,” Sean interrupted. “People should make extra sure that the whole set areas are cleared of any dangerous objects.”

“Don’t be daft,” Dominic said as the other paramedic disinfected the wound and then put a plaster on it. “They can’t remove every single pebble just because an unlucky wanker like me might step on it.”

“Yeah,” Peter nodded. “We’re doing what we can. I guess we just gotta take some extra care from now on.”

“Sorry for the interruption, Pete,” Dominic smiled as he slowly stood up with the help of Elijah and Billy.

“Hey, don’t even go there,” Peter smiled back.

And after Dominic’s foot was put into a new prosthetic, the scene could be finished. Elijah was glad it was a dramatic one since he couldn’t quite wipe that concern off his face. Dominic’s face, a mask of intense pain, was stuck in his mind.

 

~**~

 

The ring was shiny golden, heavier than he had thought and the Elvish inscription was absolutely stunning. All in all, it looked even better than Elijah had imagined. He turned the shimmering object around in his fingers, studying it from all different sides and angles and getting used to its touch. The One Ring, the secret protagonist of the story. The Bree interiors, on a studio set in the Miramar district of Wellington, as well as the Prancing Pony scenery would see their first dramatic peak today as Elijah would do his very first scene with the dazzling piece of jewelry.

“Hey, Mr. Frodo. Would you please turn around and hold that up, so I can capture this moment for posterity?”

Elijah turned around at the soft, mumbling voice and smiled into the camera, proudly presenting the ring.

“Wonderful, wonderful,” Viggo said as he took a photo. Although he wasn’t filming today, he was on set, his ever-present camera in hand and taking snap shots of various situations that caught the interest of his artist’s mind. A mighty fascinating person, Elijah had thought at their very first meeting about ten days earlier. Artistically creative on different levels, not just acting, but also photographing, painting, writing and singing. There was clearly no lack of passions.

“Isn’t it amazing?” Elijah studied the ring a little more. “I never thought they could make it look like this.”

“It’s gorgeous,” Viggo agreed as he sat down next to Elijah on a wooden bench on the Prancing Pony set and took the ring into his own hand. “I must say, I have yet to get into this whole story. I can’t quite believe Peter gave me this role. Me, a total Tolkien-illiterate.”

Elijah chuckled quietly, remembering the strange way Viggo had joined the cast. Their initial Aragorn, Stuart Townsend, hadn’t turned out to be the right choice for the part. The official reason was “creative differences”, but Elijah figured it might have been a problem with his age. He had simply been too young. There were quite a few rumors going around and no one knew any details, but Viggo had been called and had only one day to make a decision. If it hadn’t been for his Tolkien-fanatic son, he possibly would have said no. So, Viggo had joined the main cast and the Fellowship was finally complete.

“Yeah,” Elijah said. “Sometimes we need other people to kick us in the ass. Otherwise we’d miss the opportunity of a lifetime.”

“So, who kicked yours?” Viggo smiled as he handed the ring back to Elijah who felt shy and timid all of a sudden. It was Dom, fucking wonderful Dom, who saved me and so much more, he thought.

“Dominic,” he said simply, but a light smile spread on his lips as he looked up at Viggo, brushing a curl of the Frodo wig out of his face. “The pressure got more and more and I was on the verge of dropping everything, but he talked me out of it and gave me new courage.” Feeling a warm blush come to his cheeks, Elijah looked down at the ring in his hand, pretending to examine it some more. How come he always goes red when he was talking about Dominic? The mere sound of his name made his whole body feel hot and cold at the same time and the voice…that fucking voice with that accent that made everything he said sound ten times more interesting than it was... 

Viggo placed a hand on Elijah’s back and patted it gently.

“It’s great to see that you guys have such a bond and look after each other,” he stated in his typically soft, muttering tone. “You don’t see that often in this business.”

“No, you don’t,” Elijah said, looking lost in his own thoughts when Peter turned up, looking eager and motivated as always.

“Hey Elijah, Viggo. You ready?” he asked his main hobbit and Elijah nodded enthusiastically.

About an hour later the lunch break led him into the catering room of the studio. Hundreds of crew members were sitting at the tables, enjoying some well-deserved midday meal. Elijah grabbed a plate and a fork and got himself a nice load of pasta. As he surveyed the room, he spotted Billy sitting at one side of a table, his plate already half-empty. He was in costume and soon Dominic and Sean would join them for some more Bree scenes.

Elijah walked over to the table and sat down across from Billy.

“Hey, Bills.”

“Hey, Elijah.” Billy looked up and grinned as he saw Elijah’s plate. “Ah, no matter what the cooks have to offer, it always comes down to pasta, eh?” 

Elijah giggled as he stabbed his fork into his food. “Delicious and filling. What more do you want?”

“I’ll introduce you to some Scottish delicacies some day,” Billy said and shoved another potato into his mouth.

Swallowing his pasta, Elijah eyed his friend with an amused look. “British food, oh dear…I heard that’s supposed to be rather nasty,” he grinned.

“It is. Dom and Orli must have told you some horror stories, but believe me, Scottish food is nothing like that.”

“Well, I might definitely try that porridge for breakfast, if it’s really as healthy as you say.” Elijah enjoyed this light conversation, but the bad conscience soon dampened his mood. He looked at Billy regretfully and put his fork down.

“I’m sorry about the other day, Billy. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. It was fucking rude.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it, Lij,” Billy waved off. “You were right.”

Thinking about the splinter incident four days ago, the scene replayed in his head. Dominic screaming with pain and Elijah holding his hand. A friend caring about another friend. Nothing more, nothing less. But something had struck Billy as odd. Or maybe not odd, but special. And this feeling, mixed with a couple of particular observations he had made, had struck him as extra special. They were all tight mates by now who hung out together in their free-time and enjoyed each other’s company. But something about Dominic and Elijah was different. A particular sort of connection that Billy couldn’t quite classify. 

“You just care a lot about Dom, huh?” It was more like a statement than a question. Elijah felt a sudden pang in the pit of his stomach and a frown built on his face.

“Yeah,” he said after a moment, not quite sure what to make of this remark. “Of course I do. We all care about each other. That’s what friends do, right?” What the fuck, don’t freak out, he told himself. He just made an innocent comment and he’s right, isn’t he?

“Right,” Billy nodded and ate his last potato before continuing. “Especially you two. It’s really nice to see and to observe.”

Elijah stared at Billy, struggling to keep some sort of inner calmness. How could it be that Billy had actually noticed something? Was Elijah so obvious? Or was this just a completely harmless small talk about the friendship among the hobbits? Elijah silently cursed himself and wished for some stronger nerves. But he was just like that. Immediately anxious when it came to worrisome subjects.

“Observing? Observing what?” he asked, trying to sound as collected and relaxed as possible.

Billy noticed the sudden tension and thought about his words. He hadn’t meant for their conversation to turn into this direction, but Elijah’s reaction got him thinking. Why did Elijah become so nervous when Billy mentioned their friendship? If he didn’t know any better, he’d jump to certain false conclusions. If he didn’t know any better? But…what the bloody hell  _did_ he know? Nothing.

“Uhm, you know,” he tried to pick his words carefully. “The way you look at each other, how you act around each other when we’re hitting the pubs…there’s something special between you two.”

Elijah put his fork down on the table as his hand began to tremble. He looked directly into Billy’s eyes, his unease increasing and slowly coming to the visible surface.

“Is there something you’re alluding to, Billy?” he asked in a sharp tone, the growing tension slowly overwhelming him. Somewhere in the back of his head he heard a faint voice, telling him to calm down, that there was nothing wrong. But he couldn’t help himself. He felt caught and trapped.

“Alluding to?” Billy reasoned. “Hell no, and I don’t see why I should. If I was that rude and wanted to know if something’s going on, I’d ask you right away if you’re…well…you know…” Bloody wanker, Boyd….you sodding idiot…

Elijah froze on his seat and if he had still been holding the fork, he would have dropped it on the table with a bang.

“I’m not gay!” he hissed and winced, taking a frightened look around, scared that someone might have overheard them. But no one was paying attention to him. Elijah buried his face in his hands as he wished for the ground to open up and swallow him up whole. God, this isn’t happening. Please, this isn’t happening. 

Billy leaned over the table, biting his bottom lip. He really hadn’t had any idea…but in the course of their conversation Elijah’s reactions had made him quite suspicious. Struggling to save the situation in some way, he spoke quietly.

“Elijah…I’m sorry. I didn’t claim that. But you’re acting so strange when I mention you and Dom. I don’t really know what to think. Hell, I know bloody nothing. I’m sorry if I offended you somehow.”

Elijah didn’t say anything. He was sitting there and the nervous and scared look in his eyes was removed by another feeling. Was it sadness? Grief?

“Yeah…I’m sorry too, Billy,” he finally mumbled and there was indeed a tinge of sadness in his voice. But also something else. Defeat.

“Uncle Lighe!” The little girl that was running over to their table was beaming, her blonde curls flying behind her. Billy saw how Elijah quickly tried to put on a smile, but his eyes couldn’t really hide the truth. The girl, however, threw her arms around his leg and looked up at him with big, excited eyes.

“Daddy says I can watch you today!” she grinned happily just as Sean entered the room, obviously looking for his bouncy daughter.

“That’s nice, Ali.” As Elijah spotted Sean, he quickly turned to Billy and looked at him with begging eyes, silently pleading for him not to say anything. And Billy understood. 

“Why don’t you come to Uncle Billy, eh? I’ll tell you some funny stories,” Billy suggested. Alexandra Astin, who would turn three next month, jumped over to the other side of the table. Elijah stood up before Sean reached them, leaving his still half-full plate on the table, and slowly left the room, keeping his eyes down on the floor and his shoulders sagged.

Oh Lij, Billy thought, his heavy heart going out to his friend. If only I knew how to help you…

 

~**~

 

At the end of October, the cast and crew got ready to film the first scenes on the South Island. Dominic felt excited, but also a little melancholy at the prospect of leaving Wellington and its nice pub and clubbing possibilities behind. There was nothing more relaxing than having a beer or two on a Friday evening or simply hanging out at each other’s places. The filming schedule would become more and more busy in the next weeks and months, plus Dominic didn’t quite know what to expect on the South Island. So, he decided to make a few calls to ask the boys if they were up for another night in town. It was Saturday afternoon and their Sundays were usually off. Who knew when that would eventually change as well? In addition to that, Liv Tyler had arrived in New Zealand for the first time to do some pre-shots. Only three women would be in the main cast. Liv as Arwen, Cate Blanchett as Galadriel and Miranda Otto as Eowyn. One more beautiful than the other and Dominic thought a proper introduction was out of question. 

Billy was fighting with a runny nose and a sore throat, so he had to pass. Maybe that was why he had acted so strangely? Sean had to decline as well. He had promised Christine a romantic dinner in town. So, it was just Elijah, Orlando, Liv and Dominic himself who was very happy that Elijah hadn’t canceled. His American mate hadn’t been in the best of moods for the past two days and Dominic was afraid that the old problem might have come up again. And the last thing he wanted was to see Elijah head down that dark road again. He wanted to see him happy and relaxed, his only care to be if he had enough clove cigarettes or if his newest CD had a barely visible scratch. These little habits made him even more endearing in Dominic’s eyes.

The doorbell rang and Dominic jumped up from the couch, knowing exactly who it was. Opening the front door, his eyes fell on a beautiful as ever Elijah whose hands were buried in his jeans pockets and whose lips held a soft, almost shy smile.

“Hey, Dom.”

“Hey, Lij.” Dominic returned the smile as he pulled the younger man into a hug. He knew these weren’t friendly hugs anymore. The little moments when Elijah was actually in his arms, their bodies pressed against each other, were something Dominic found himself longing for more and more often. Their embraces tended to last longer than what one might call normal, and Elijah was never the one to pull back first. Maybe, Dominic thought sometimes, maybe it’s not _totally_ one-sided. But that was most likely wishful thinking from his side. 

Withdrawing from Elijah’s clove- and mint-smelling body (had he been chewing bubble gum after his smoke?), Dominic invited him in, chuckling at Elijah’s astonished whistling. 

“You cleaned up, huh?” Elijah grinned, taking a look around. He spotted his CD, neatly and unharmed lying on the coffee table next to the stereo system. 

“How do you like them?” He remembered their very first music conversation two months ago which had just been the beginning of a variety of sometimes philosophical conversations. Dominic followed his gaze.

“They’re really great! You have some good taste for a yank.”

“Ha,” Elijah picked up his Queens of the Stone Age album and sat down cross-legged on the fluffy rug in front of the CD player. Dominic thought briefly, then he quickly disappeared into his bedroom. When he came back, he joined Elijah on the carpet, a CD in his hand.

“Here, it’s time to show you something _really_ special now.” The record switched hands as Elijah took it from him. Glancing at the cover of Coldplay’s Safety LP, he gasped and looked at Dominic again.

“Are you fucking with me, how did you get one of these!?”

Dominic smiled at Elijah’s so typical reaction.

“I guess I was just lucky. I was in London when it was released. I didn’t even know who they were back then, but I just felt like I had to have it. Amazing if you consider the number of copies.”

“50, Dom! Only 50 copies made it into the record stores.” Elijah waved the CD around excitedly. “You wouldn’t have to worry about your future ever again if you decided to sell this,” he grinned, knowing exactly that Dominic would never ever do such a thing.

“Are you daft?” Dominic laughed. “I’d never sell this baby. _You_ of all people should know that,” he added with a wink and Elijah chuckled.

“Isn’t that a great cover?” Elijah held the record up again and Dominic smiled amused. God, Elijah was just adorable, especially when he was acting like this. “That’s actually Chris Martin and it was taken by a friend of the band, John Hilton.”

Shaking his head with amazement, Dominic giggled. “Jesus, Lij. You’re a walking music encyclopedia. Is there anything you  _don’t_ know?”

Elijah blushed and shrugged. “Probably.”

“Hmm…Chris Martin…,” Dominic sighed, leaning back on his hands, his eyes dreamy. “What a cutie-patootie…”

Elijah laughed. “Holy shit, Dom…how many man crushes do you have, huh?”

Tilting his head a little, Dominic looked straight at Elijah. A man crush. Was it just a crush? Possibly. A little secret fascination with this boy. A good explanation? A believable explanation? Yeah, sounds good enough. That must be it. Of course. Geez, stop fooling yourself, you sodding wanker…

“Only one.” His voice was serious and all goofiness gone.

Elijah just looked back at him, his expression unreadable. What are you thinking, Lij? Please…give me something…something I can hold on to…some kind of hope…

“I think we should go,” Dominic finally said and got off from the floor, feeling a little foolish and defeated. Maybe another night in town was just what they all needed. Being young and free and not thinking about tomorrow. 

“Yeah…,” Elijah said quietly, placing the CD next to the player. “We should get going…”

 

~**~

 

“You guys are really completely crazy.” Liv followed Dominic and Elijah who were more stumbling than walking as they left the smoky pub and stepped out into the fresh night air. It was about four in the morning and their third tavern that night. The boys had been in the best of shapes, starting with beer and then continuing with a couple of cocktails before going for some more beer. Though Orlando had learnt his lesson and finally got to know his limits. He was still able to walk on his own without holding on to anything or anyone for support. He quickly rushed out of the pub after emptying his bladder in the restroom. Wrapping an arm around Liv’s slim waist, he giggled like a schoolgirl.

“Welcome to our wild club, princess!”

“What an honor,” Liv grinned, stuffing her wallet into her handbag before wrapping her arms around herself. Dominic and Elijah were leaning against the pub wall, laughing and giggling like two teenagers in the middle of puberty. They were talking, or more like slurring to each other and Liv couldn’t make out a single word, but apparently they could understand each other as they burst into laughter once more. 

“If I didn’t know that Dominic can be such a charming gentleman when he’s sober, I’d be actually shocked,” Liv said to Orlando with a smirk as she followed the other two guys who now made their way down the street.

“It comes with the nationality, love. It’s in our blood.”

Liv raised an eyebrow. “Really? I don’t recall  _you_ coming to me, giving me a hand kiss and saying ‘Finally the sun is rising in New Zealand’.” Giving Orlando a wink she walked a little faster, trying to keep up with Dominic and Elijah.

“I was about to!” Orlando laughed before shouting after the two boys. “Hey, would you mind keeping the pace down a tad bit? What sort of behavior is this, there’s a lady here.”

Dominic turned around and fixed him with glassy eyes. “Aaah, sorry Orli. We’ll show some more consideration towards you.”

“Wanker!”

“Oh please.” Liv covered her ears with her hands, but giggled nonetheless. Crazy wild bunch or not, they knew how to entertain. 

Elijah strolled over to them, groaning, a frown on his lightly damp face.

“I have to pee…fuck…”

“Me too,” Dominic said, looking around. “Damn, where the bloody hell are we anyway?”

Orlando rolled his eyes. “Why didn’t you go when we were still in the pub, you idiots?”

“Because we didn’t have to pee then,” Elijah put on a drunken smile, his big eyes not really able to focus on anything. 

“Fair enough,” Orlando sighed and walked after the guys as they entered some roofed area. He couldn’t really tell where they were himself, but it looked like some shopping mall. It was still quite busy for this late hour. Or early hour. Thank God he was feeling only a little light-headed. But Dominic and Elijah would suffer a lot more in the morning, that was for sure. 

Dominic’s bladder felt like it was filling rapidly with each step. If he didn’t get some release soon, he was sure he’d explode and that wouldn’t be a nice sight. Narrowing his eyes, he spotted something blurry in the distance. As they neared the strange thing, his face lit up. He nudged Elijah lightly and pointed at the object.

“What do you say, Lij? Shall we conquer it?” Grinning and rubbing his hands, he looked at his mate challengingly. Elijah followed his gaze and smirked. With a shrill yell, they ran towards the odd creation. 

“What an ugly thing!” Elijah stated, earning a few reproachful glances from passers-by. It was a fountain, but a weirdly designed one indeed. Several buckets were attached to a scaffold. The pails filled with water until they would tip, spilling their load into the buckets below.

“Hey, let’s see if we can make those babies tilt, eh?” Dominic dragged Elijah over to the edge and grabbed one of the iron sticks of the scaffold, pulling himself up. Elijah laughed and followed his example, climbing up the other side of the structure and giggling even more as some of the water did not reach its supposed destination, but spilled on his shirt.

“Please tell me they’re not really doing this.” Liv stared at the swaying but enthusiastic boys who had now climbed up half the fountain. But Orlando was just standing next to her, laughing his ass off and even cheering them on.

“Hey Livvie, we made it! Take a photo!” Dominic shouted down before he and Elijah burst into another round of laughter. Shaking her head, Liv opened her handbag and pulled her camera out.

“Well, if they don’t remember anything tomorrow, I’ll have some nice evidence to show to them,” she smirked but stopped and quickly covered her eyes. Dominic had begun to unbutton his pants and was now pulling down the zipper, his intentions more than clear. And not just his. Elijah unbuttoned his jeans as well, holding on to the fountain with one hand and slurring something like “releasing some pressure.”

“No no, quick! They’re really doing it!” Orlando shrieked as he saw Liv’s embarrassed face. Slowly and reluctantly she removed her hand from her eyes and held the camera up instead.

Elijah hadn’t really thought about actually doing this, but when his drunken mind registered that Dominic was opening his pants, he suddenly liked the idea. Undoing his own denims, Elijah grinned at Dominic, but his blurry gaze shifted down. Dominic started to urinate into one of the buckets, or at least he tried to since he was swaying and laughing, most of his pee ending up in the water basin at the bottom. Well endowed, mate, Elijah thought, giggling like a madman.

“Ahh, sweet relief…,” Dominic sighed as his bladder emptied. Also his eyes glanced down, more or less involuntarily, as Elijah pushed his jeans and boxers down at the front. And what he saw took his breath away. Oh Lij, he sighed inwardly. Just as beautiful as the rest of you…

A few bystanders, mostly youngsters with beer bottles and cigarettes in their hands, pointed at them and laughed. Some shook their heads as Elijah peed into the fountain as well. Liv put her camera into her bag, hoping this show would be over soon. To her relief, Dominic and Elijah started to climb back down, pants still open. As their feet touched the ground it took them some time to get dressed again. 

“That was brilliant!” Orlando laughed and Liv snorted. “That was yucky.”

“Hey, we just marked our territory,” Dominic grinned and then bowed. “Thank you, you’ve been a wonderful audience!” The onlookers applauded briefly and some raised their thumbs. 

Elijah lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. “Okay, one more beer before we call it a day? Or a night?”

“Well, I’ve had enough,” Liv chuckled, still shaking her head. “See you tomorrow. I mean, today. Look after them, Orlando.”

Orlando Bloom, however, wasn’t really the right person to look after two drunk guys, especially not at half past four in the morning. But Dominic was still able to think and act half-way clearly. He was a lot like Billy in this respect. Both of them could hold their liquor quite well. He said good-bye to Orlando and then thought for a moment. Calling a taxi could become quite risky. Looking at Elijah, he wasn’t sure of the car would stay clean. And some fresh air would do them good. So, he wrapped an arm around Elijah’s shoulders and helped the swaying boy along as they made their way to Elijah’s house. 

“Dom…” It was more like a low groan and Dominic smiled sympathetically.

“Yes, Lij?”

“Did we miss feet?”

“No, Lij. It’s Sunday morning.”

“Oh...awesome…”

Dominic squeezed his shoulder and they finally arrived at the house. Maybe it would be best if he stayed here for the night? Just in case…

Taking the keys from Elijah, he unlocked the front door and helped Elijah inside.

“Okay, here we go…” Dominic had never seen Elijah’s bedroom, he suddenly realized. It was rather small and with a mini stereo system on the nightstand. Elijah flopped down on the bed and Dominic helped him with the shirt, jeans and shoes. The pale skin was lightly damp from sweat and a faint trace of hair led down from his navel to the waistband of his boxers. Dominic had often wondered if the hidden parts of Elijah’s body were just as flawless as his face and arms. Now he had his answer. Elijah was simply breathtaking.

Putting the clothes onto the laundry pile in the bathroom, Dominic returned to the bedroom after taking a look into the mirror. He really looked like shit, unlike Elijah who, even wiped out like this, still had the face of an angel. Dominic watched him lie on his back, his head tilted to the side, one arm beside his face, lips slightly parted and his breathing deep and slow. He was asleep. Moving over to the bed, Dominic knelt down next to Elijah’s head. He looked absolutely peaceful, like he had been sleeping for hours already. Before he realized what he was doing, Dominic reached up and placed his forefinger on Elijah’s cheek. The skin was warm and damp and so so very soft. Moving his finger in a slow, caressing movement, Dominic’s eyes were glued to that lovely face. Somewhere deep inside he was aware of what he was doing. That he was stroking Elijah’s face, in Elijah’s bedroom, after a night out in town. It could almost be called romantic, if Elijah hadn’t passed out from one beer too many and if they weren’t here to film a monumental trilogy and if his object of affection wasn’t Elijah Wood, famous former child actor and soon-to-be star of The Lord of the Rings. Then why did it feel so damn right…so damn good…leaving Dominic reluctant to move away from this very spot…

But he somehow managed to pull his finger away from Elijah’s cheek and grabbed the blanket, draping it over his sleeping friend. Then he stood up again. 

“Sleep tight, Lijah…,” Dominic whispered, not knowing why he used that nickname. A special name for a special person…that must be it…

Closing the bedroom door quietly, Dominic kicked off his shoes and took off his smelling shirt before lying down on the couch. He felt the sudden urge to write into his diary as he looked out the window at the slowly rising sun. There were loads of new impressions and thoughts that he needed to sort out. And writing it all down always helped.

Instead he sighed, turned on his side and closed his eyes. A few minutes later, his mind finally got some rest. 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Daylight. Bright, cruel daylight. It made his headache even worse. His mouth felt like a dry ashtray and his whole body like deadweight. But as Elijah cracked one eye open, the burning feeling was the worst. How the hell could he have forgotten to remove his contacts? He never did. With some heavy effort, Elijah managed to drag himself out of the bed and placed his feet on the floor. Then he stumbled into the bathroom, not even glancing into the mirror as he fumbled the contacts out of his aching eyes. Splashing a load of cool water into his face, Elijah finally looked at his reflection. His skin was paler than usual and he looked worn out with his slightly red, dark-circled eyes. After swallowing some cold water and reaching for his black-rimmed glasses, the world finally came back into some sort of focus. Elijah leaned his hands on the edge of the sink as he recalled the night before. He had gone out with Dominic, Orlando and Liv. They had downed a couple of beers. And they had peed into buckets. He snorted at that memory. But taking a look at Dominic’s lower regions had been totally worth it. Elijah grinned at his own reflection and shook his head. Grow up, silly teenager.

Craving for a huge cup of coffee, Elijah moved to walk into the kitchen, but something stopped him as he entered his living room. A pair of jeans-clad legs, but a nude upper body that was lying sprawled on his couch. Elijah held his breath for a moment as he watched Dominic sound asleep right in front of him, his chest rising and falling lightly and one arm thrown across his face. One leg had slipped off the couch, the foot touching the floor. Elijah turned around and put a hand over his heart. It was pounding quickly and his mouth felt suddenly dry again. He looked at the kitchen door for a moment, but his eyes were drawn away from it. It felt like another force was taking control, making him turn around again and looking at that half-naked body on his sofa. Dominic’s half-naked body on his sofa. The fine hair on his well-built chest, the defined muscles of his upper arms and the hairy trail that led down to the button of his pants…

With a sigh, Elijah turned towards the kitchen once more.

“Elijah…?” A sleepy, muffled voice. Elijah struggled not to freeze. Why the hell did he feel so weird? Like he had been caught in the act…

Turning around again, he faced a barely awake Dominic who was stretching his arms and yawned quietly. The rippled stomach muscles showed to their fullest advantage. Elijah quickly looked up at Dominic’s face.

“Hey, slept well on that thing?” he asked, pointing at the sofa. It was more like a desperate attempt to break his tension.

“Yeah, it was okay.” Dominic sat up and ran a hand through his hair. The formerly short stubble on his head had grown to a nice length, not too short and not too long. Some light whiskers had spread on his chin, making him look only a little older than his 22 years. But at least Dominic was able to grow facial hair. On Elijah’s face nothing would grow which he regretted sometimes. But then again, his face covered with hair? A heavily odd image. But it made him wonder all the more what Dominic would look like with a proper beard. Even manlier, probably. And what would it feel like? Jesus...stop it…

“You must have slept really well. Knocked out as you were,” Dominic grinned, getting up and stretching once again.

“Yeah well…it’s always easy to fall asleep when you’re pissed. But I can fall asleep anywhere, at anytime. It’s really weird,” Elijah sniggered, leaning against the frame of the kitchen door. 

“As long as it doesn’t happen on set at seven in the morning,” Dominic chuckled, scratching his stubbly face. “Uhm, excuse me for a sec. Gotta go for little hobbits.”

“Sure. You wanna have some breakfast?”

“Hmm, I won’t say no to that,” Dominic opened the bathroom door and disappeared inside.

Elijah went into the kitchen and contemplated for a moment. What did Dominic like for breakfast on a lazy Sunday morning? He didn’t even know. Breakfast habits on set were quite different. It was always rushed and you never took your time to really consider what you were eating. Dominic was English, so he very likely would go for some toast. But what if he didn’t? What if he hated toast? Dominic wasn’t an average Brit, that much was for sure. Geez Elijah, stop freaking out. It’s just breakfast.

He decided to make some coffee first.

“Mmm…nice to see you so domestic, Lij.” Dominic strolled into the kitchen, looking more refreshed now. He still wasn’t wearing a shirt. The tingle in Elijah’s belly was suddenly there again, but he couldn’t help but feel sorry for his mate. If he hadn’t stayed here for the night, he could change now and didn’t have to put up with his smelly clothes much longer.

“You didn’t have to stay,” Elijah said, looking up from the coffee machine. Dominic was standing right next to him now and Elijah felt a little exposed. He was wearing nothing but his old boxers, his pale skin building a faint contrast to Dominic’s lightly tanned torso. Leaning against the kitchen counter and crossing his arms, Dominic cocked his head with a smile.

“Oh, but it was my civil duty. I couldn’t leave you all alone with your poor, innocent, corrupted and fueled up body.”

Elijah laughed and pressed the button on the coffee machine. “So, you really think I’m that innocent and pure, huh? Even after I peed into some weird-looking thing in public?”

“Even more so after you peed into some weird-looking thing in public,” Dominic teased, enjoying the sound of the giggle that came from Elijah. He just loved this. Making Elijah laugh, entertaining him, goofing around with him…and especially now, on a Sunday morning, in this kitchen, with Elijah making breakfast for them. And he looked so lovely this morning with his bed-ruffled hair, the glasses on his nose and that tooth gap which showed every time he laughed or giggled. In some alternate, dreamlike and surreal parallel universe it would almost feel like the morning after. Bloody hell, don’t go there again, Dominic mentally slapped himself.

“Can I help you?”

“Uhm no, I have everything under control.” Moving over to the fridge, Elijah rummaged around in it, placing various jam glasses on the kitchen table. “You like toast, don’t you?”

“Absobloodylutely,” Dominic assured and flopped down on a chair at the table. After putting some slices into the toaster, Elijah excused himself and quickly headed into the bathroom. Dominic could smell the brewing coffee and when it was ready, he got up and filled two cups. If he ever got the opportunity to make breakfast for Elijah, he would make something really special. Something exclusive that Elijah had never tasted before. And he hoped he would get the opportunity…oh dear, how he hoped…

When Elijah came back, he was wearing a blue Ramones shirt and his hair wasn’t that tangled anymore. Putting the toast on the table and turning on the small radio on the counter, he sat down across from Dominic who had actually been patient enough to wait for him before even taking a sip of coffee. Elijah took his cup and lifted it to his lips, watching Dominic do the same with his. 

“Cheers,” they said at the same time and giggled. It was a nice and relaxed Sunday morning, or more like a brunch meal, and Elijah didn’t think he had ever had a more entertaining breakfast. They talked about the night before, about the nice and lovely Liv Tyler, the trilogy, other movies, video games and, of course, music.

“Isn’t it a tragedy?” Elijah fumbled with his coffee spoon, dipping it into his half-empty cup and moving it around. “Such talented musicians and such sad deaths.”

Dominic finished the rest of his coffee and nodded. “Yeah, and still so young.”

Gulping down his now lukewarm beverage and putting the cup down on the table, Elijah frowned, looking like he was thinking about something really hard. “It couldn’t be a coincidence. I mean, the three Ramones founding members, all dying within a couple of years after ending their career of 22 years.”

Dominic stared straight at him and then opened his mouth to ask a question that had whirled around in his head for quite some time now. “Do you believe in destiny, Elijah?”

The younger guy looked up again attentively. “You mean…it could have been their fate?”

“Well…,” Dominic let go of his cup and placed his elbows on the table, leaning his head in his hands. “Maybe fate brought them together and when their work on this earth was done, they could part again and die happily.”

Elijah tapped his forefinger against his chin, taking in the words and contemplating them. Destiny? Fate? Was there such a thing? And if there was, what could be his very own destiny? He had never really thought about it. Elijah had been raised Catholic, and phrases like “God will make it alright” had dominated his life when he was younger. But as time passed by, he found that it was best to rely on oneself and to make the best of one’s possibilities. Especially after his family had broken apart. When you have to witness your parents file for divorce and eventually go their separate ways, you find it hard to believe that this is what fate has in store for you. And Elijah had often wondered, night by night, if maybe it simply hadn’t been meant to be. But then again, what  _had_ been meant to be? He hadn’t managed to find that out yet. His estranged father had stayed in Iowa and his mother and sister had moved to Los Angeles with Elijah due to his career. That move had been the final nail in the coffin of a destroyed family. Would Dominic understand? He seemed to have the picture perfect family bond. Happily married parents and an academic older brother. Elijah used to avoid the subject of his own kin, mentioning only his mom and his sister, if that. Maybe one day he would tell Dominic everything. He knew he could trust him. But sensitive family issues were different from seemingly wrong career choices.

Dominic leaned back in his chair, studying Elijah’s pensive face. “Sometimes I wonder if fate brought us all together,” he mused. “You know, we were picked from different parts of the world, from different backgrounds, and we were placed here. And now we’re creating something so extraordinary.”

Elijah nodded faintly. It did make sense, didn’t it? And if destiny really existed, it was evident now more than ever. “Yeah. You might be right.”

Dominic smiled, liking the direction of this conversation. The more time passed, the more he grew certain that some higher power brought them to this place, in this phase of their lives. And whatever you wanted to call it, and if it wasn’t fate but pure coincidence, he would forever be thankful. Because it brought him to New Zealand and into Elijah’s life.

The telephone rang, making them both jump. Elijah stood up with a sigh, silently cursing the interruption, but when he picked up the receiver in his living-room and listened to the stern voice on the other end, he became alert. “Okay…yeah, we’re on our way. Bye.”

Dominic frowned as Elijah came back, wearing a concerned expression. “What is it?”

“That was Fran,” Elijah explained, absentmindedly beginning to clear the table. “Peter wants to talk to us. It’s urgent.”

“Now?” Dominic raised his eyebrows in surprise and got up to help Elijah. “On a Sunday? And just you and me?”

“Yeah,” Elijah shrugged, wondering what might be going on. Usually Peter would never call for them on Sundays as he knew his actors needed their own time to recover from the week’s exhausting work. And if something needed to be talked about regarding filming, he used to discuss it with them either at the end of a working day or the next morning before going on set. “We better not let him wait for too long.”

They drove with Elijah’s car, but Dominic was behind the wheel. Even if Elijah had been brave enough to drive himself in this reversed traffic system, he wouldn’t have been in the right state of mind to do so anyway. Drumming his fingers nervously against the window, he stared ahead, all sorts of scenarios forming in his head. Dominic tried his best to calm him down, but he was quite anxious himself. He briefly stopped by his apartment to get changed and Elijah smoked two cigarettes in the meantime. Half an hour later they pulled up in front of the Jackson home. 

Fran opened the door and led them into the office. Peter was sitting behind his desk, writing something. As Dominic and Elijah entered the room, feeling like two schoolboys in the principal’s office, he stood up and stepped in front of the table, leaning against it with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Judging from his posture and the look he gave them, it was obvious that the director was not very happy. 

“Hello Elijah, Dominic. I want to come to the point right away. I learnt about certain...well, activities last night.”

Elijah resisted the sudden urge to close his eyes and shut out the awkward scene that was about to unfold. Risking a glance to his side, he noticed that Dominic looked just as embarrassed.

“You know,” Peter continued, looking at each of them, “normally it’s none of my business what you do in your free-time. But the thing is, we’ve just begun to film a huge trilogy and so much is at stake. New Line is already sensitive enough and if the press finds out about members of the cast doing inappropriate things in public, the scandal will be handed to them on a silver platter. You understand?”

Dominic and Elijah nodded, both thinking exactly the same. Each of them had feared that their misplaced feelings for each other might jeopardize the movies if they really allowed them to come to the surface. But of course there were tons of other gossip that the media could pounce on like starving vultures. 

“I’m very sorry, Peter,” Dominic suddenly said and Elijah looked at him with wide eyes, his hands buried in his jeans pockets. “It was my idea and entirely my fault. It was stupid and won’t happen again.”

Peter sighed. Even when he was angry, his face still held a friendly look, Dominic noticed. And this was the first time they saw him angry at all.

“I don’t really care whose idea it was, Dominic. And the press issue isn’t even the only problem. Do you even know what you mistreated there?”

Elijah looked at the floor again, his eyes fixed on some spot on the carpet and, as much as he wanted to say something, he just couldn’t. The fingers of his right hand touched his clove pack and he yearned for another smoke.

“Well, some… fountain?” Dominic stammered.

“Not just _some_ fountain. It’s the Bucket Fountain, one of the most famous and well respected national monuments.”

“Oh…” Looking at Elijah, Dominic could see that his mate was just as red as he was. 

Peter uncrossed his arms and his eyes became a little softer. “Listen, I don’t mind you having some fun and drink and go partying. You’re young and you’re guys. I was your age once as well, you know.” A small conciliatory smile flitted across his face. “But next time, think twice about what you relieve yourselves in, okay?”

Elijah mumbled a quiet “okay”, but he couldn’t wait to leave the office again. 

“You can go now,” Peter said and sat back down at his desk. As soon as the boys stepped out the front door and into the open, Elijah pulled his cloves out of his pocket and lit one. 

“Woah,” Dominic came out behind him, scratching the back of his head. “That was one hell of an awkward situation. I wonder how he found out…”

Lifting his cigarette to his mouth with still shaking fingers, Elijah inhaled deeply, the soothing smoke calming his nerves a little. “I have no idea. I highly doubt that Liv showed him the photos.”

Dominic laughed, but it sounded uncomfortable. “Yeah, can’t imagine that either. Uhm Lij…,” he stepped in front of Elijah, remorse written all over his face. “I’m really sorry. It was my fault. I talked you into it and now you got bollocked for it as well, when it should been only me.”

Elijah exhaled the smoke and smiled at him wryly. Despite the unease, he couldn’t help but think that Dominic looked even cuter than usual. With those striking puppy eyes he almost gave the impression of a repentant little boy. “Hey, no need to apologize, Dom. I’m old enough to know what I’m doing.”

But that didn’t put Dominic’s bad conscience at ease. Elijah may be almost 19 years old, but he gave off this aura of total purity and innocence that attracted Dominic even more. It was the complete opposite of himself, even if it was just in his mind. Elijah was four years younger than him, but ten times more worldly. Still he was oozing something that just made Dominic want to take care of him and, as crazy as it might sound, protect him. Which also made Dominic feel responsible for him. Bugger me, he thought. I start to behave like Sean…

“I know, but…” Damnit, why was he feeling so shy and timid now. “I practically forced you to climb up that bloody fountain. And don’t say I didn’t because I did.”

Elijah’s bespectacled eyes sparkled with a certain amusement and he even chuckled. “Okay,” he said, drawing another drag from his cigarette. “If you insist. You corrupted me and my poor innocent and angelic soul and I’m totally fucked up now. Shame on you, Dominic.” Then he giggled again and maybe it was the uber-endearing sound or just the breaking of the tension, but Dominic felt like a heavy weight had just fallen off his chest. He smiled.

“I’ll make it up to you, okay? I promise.” Suddenly he was rather content and he didn’t know why. Maybe because Elijah wasn’t pissed at him, though deep inside he knew Elijah was right, that he was old enough and didn’t need any protection. Or maybe because Dominic could finally do something wonderful that he would put his whole heart and soul into. Yes, he would do just that. 

Elijah stubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray in his car and folded his arms, tilting his head in a curious manner. “Alright,” he grinned. “And how are you going to make it up to me?” 

“I don’t know yet,” Dominic scratched his chin, knowing that he needed some more time to come up with something worthy of Elijah. “But I’ll let you know as soon as I know.”

 

~**~

 

So, this is what it will be like. Dominic looked at Billy who was sitting next to him, talking to a journalist of the Evening Post. The very first interview with the cast, only with Dominic and Billy to be exact, took place inside a studio complex in Queenstown, a resort town in the south-west of the South Island, built around an inlet on Lake Wakatipu. Of course the press had asked for an exclusive talk with Elijah, but the management of New Line had declined. After all, he was their most famous star and played the main character. They would think twice before setting up his first interview. Just as they were constantly concerned that the set was shielded enough. So, it was Dominic and Billy now, sitting in the secluded room opposite a rather eager reporter, still in costume, and answering questions that they’d probably have to answer countless times in the future. What kind of feeling was it to be part of such a massive trilogy as total newcomers? What was it like working with Peter Jackson? What was it like working with Elijah Wood? Did they like New Zealand? Was it difficult playing a hobbit? A first glimpse at fame and what was to come. Dominic was in his best shape, joking and entertaining while answering question after question and thoroughly enjoying it. 

“How was it?” Elijah asked curiously when the interview was over and the two guys left the room.

“Brilliant!” Dominic grinned contently. “I could get used to this.”

“Oh, you will. Just wait until the press marathon starts next year.” Although Elijah had much more experience with the media, he was probably twice as nervous as Dominic and Billy at the prospect of the movie promotion. Every movie was different, but The Lord of the Rings was definitely an unprecedented project. But it also meant that they all would travel the world together, presenting their movies and walking the red carpets not just as actor colleagues, but as friends. And he was looking forward to that immensely.

Billy watched Elijah, his heart going out to the boy, as always when he watched him with Dominic now. He had tried to talk to Elijah several times after their escalated lunch two weeks before, but Elijah had remained tight-lipped and pretended that everything was alright. And it pained Billy to know that there was nothing he could do. He kept telling himself that this was just a little crush from Elijah’s side. That it would eventually diminish in the course of the time. But every time he saw Elijah light up in Dominic’s company, acting like he was the only man in the room, Billy knew it was only getting worse and worse. Elijah’s accidental revelation had come as a shock and Billy had pondered for a long time afterwards. It would be easier if he knew what Dominic was thinking, but he had no idea. It was evident that Dominic cared a lot about Elijah and talked about him constantly. But with him you never knew if he was serious or of he was just joking and being silly when he went into raptures about Elijah’s incredible eyes or his flawless skin. All in all, it was one bloody dilemma.

But life went on and so did filming on the South Island. The schedule had suffered some severe setbacks due to a heavy rainfall that had caused the worst flooding in the history of Queenstown. Certain scenes in the open could not be shot, so Peter had decided to film a major dramatic scene for the third movie inside the studio instead, featuring Frodo and Sam. Elijah had freaked out, chewing on his already short-bitten fingernails and smoking one clove after another.

“I can’t do it, Dom! It’s too soon, I can’t!”

“Of course you can do it, Elijah. If not you, then who, huh?”

And it had worked. Every time Elijah was on the verge of collapsing, Dominic was there to pull him up. It was a constant giving and taking, making the sometimes stressful days on set a little less hectic.

On this day, in the middle of November, the cast and crew had settled in Te Anau, a town on the eastern shore of the 65 kilometers long Lake Te Anau in the south-western corner 0f the South Island. The Dead Marshes scene was to be shot here, along with a couple of other scenes, but the plan was once again delayed by an unexpected flooding that wasn’t as bad as Queenstown though.

Dominic was standing on the shore of Lake Te Anau and looked into the distance. It was an impressive sight. The water covered an area of 344 square kilometers. It was the second largest lake in New Zealand and the spectacular backdrop of Mount Luxmore and the Murchison Mountains created the perfect panorama view. Dominic turned on the camera in his hand and took a couple of photos. A new passion that he had mainly Viggo to thank for. Viggo who, although twice Dominic’s age, had already become a dear and fascinating friend. But above all Elijah seemed to admire him and their interaction reminded Dominic of a sort of father-son-relationship. It was great to observe since Elijah hardly talked about his own family. Dominic just knew he had a sister named Hannah who was almost three years younger than him, an older brother, Zach, and his mother had moved from Iowa to Los Angeles with them. But he never talked about his father and Dominic didn’t want to intrude by asking. Maybe one day he’d learn more about this family which he’d love to get to know. 

As he surveyed the breathtaking scenery, it suddenly hit Dominic and he smiled brightly. He had promised to make it up to Elijah and now he finally knew how. He found his friend sitting on the steps up to the feet trailer, his nose buried in the script. It was Friday afternoon and they had already put off their costumes, wigs and feet after shooting just a few minor sequences. Peter had given them the day off as well as the following one due to the flooding of their filming locations. 

“Hi, Lij,” Dominic came to stand in front of the trailer and Elijah looked up, shielding his eyes against the sun with the papers.

“Hey, Dom. Why so smiley today?”

“Well….” Kneeling down before him, Dominic looked into Elijah’s smiling eyes. “I think I know now how to redeem myself.”

“Yes? How?”

“ _I_ will teach _you_ how to drive on the, as you put it, wrong side of the street, so you don’t have to depend on Sean’s or my driving services anymore. _And…_ ,” Dominic’s blue-grey eyes held an excited sparkle as he gazed into Elijah’s curious blue orbs. “We could also combine business with pleasure and use the opportunity to go for a nice spin. You up for it?”

Elijah looked confused for a moment. “Wait wait wait. You wanna go for a spin and you want  _me_ to drive? Didn’t you say you want to redeem yourself and not get me into trouble anymore?” He chuckled. 

“Well, Viggo rented a pretty little car and I’m sure he would give it to us for a day,” Dominic suggested enthusiastically. “And Te Anau isn’t Wellington. It’s much easier to get used to the traffic here and we could check out the area some more. It’s gorgeous, Lij! We could look for a nice spot and have an open air feast,” he rambled on and the longer he was talking, the more Elijah was seriously contemplating the idea. A day out and alone with Dom in the beautiful countryside of New Zealand? A more than tempting idea. Wait. No, no, don’t do it. It’s not good…yes, why not? We’re mates, what’s so bad about it? Jesus, you sound like fucking Gollum…

“Hmm, okay. Deal,” Elijah said, forcing himself to stop thinking so damn much. Dominic practically beamed and got back to his feet. “Awesome! Tomorrow morning at 10? I’ll take care of everything.”

“I’ll be ready,” Elijah smiled back and watched Dominic walk away, back to the inn they were staying at. The inner resistance was suddenly gone and Saturday morning couldn’t come soon enough.

 

~**~

 

“It’s really not that difficult, Elijah. It’s all just in your head.”

“Ha, it’s easy for you to talk.” Elijah was clutching the wheel tightly, sitting on the right side of Viggo’s black rental car. It was indeed a small vehicle, resembling his own Mini Cooper in a way. Just the driver’s seat was on the other side. Dominic was sitting next to him in the passenger’s seat after packing various kinds of food into the trunk. It was a sunny and relatively warm day, the ideal weather for a driving lesson. Dominic could tell how nervous Elijah was. He had just started the engine and was now waiting for the right moment to drive onto the main street.

“It’s okay, Lij. It’s like driving on the streets in America. Just on the other side.”

“If I write this car off, you can pay for it.” Elijah chuckled tensely, looking from the left to the right and to the left, checking the traffic.

“Deal,” Dominic smiled. “You can do it. Don’t be nervous, I’m with you.”

Elijah actually smiled a little and briefly glanced at Dominic who winked at him.

“Okay, now Lij!”

Elijah slowly took his foot off the clutch and stepped on the accelerator. Left side, left side, not the right side. He turned off to the left and quickly changed into second and third gear. Inside his chest his heart was hammering. 

“Alright, we’re on it! That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” Dominic’s cheerful voice managed to calm Elijah down a little.

“God, this is so fucking weird,” He was grasping the wheel in a dead grip and stared ahead.

“You’re doing great. Just stay on this street for the beginning.”

“Gladly.”

And so they drove on. Slowly Elijah lost his anxiety and nervousness and even his knuckles didn’t turn white anymore as he held the wheel. 

“Okay, Lij. Turn off to the right next, then we’ll leave the city.”

Taking a deep breath, Elijah carefully left the street, almost forgetting to indicate. Then they were on their way out of town. Elijah sighed with relief but gasped as he suddenly spotted a huge truck heading towards him in the distance. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…”

“Hey, nothing can happen, Elijah,” Dominic assured as he noticed what had Elijah so nervous again all of a sudden. “You’re not on the wrong side. Keep telling yourself that. You’re _not_ on the wrong side.”

The truck passed by with a high speed and Elijah involuntarily held his breath. Dominic took a quick glance into the rearview mirror and then smiled brightly.

“We’re still alive!”

“I feel like that girl from Clueless,” Elijah laughed, relaxing a little more now as they were leaving the town and its hundred possibilities for accidents behind.

Dominic joined into the laughter, relieved that Elijah seemed to have shed most of his tension. “But they were driving on a stuffed motorway and the monster was coming from behind.”

“Ugh, even worse!” Elijah giggled and turned on the radio with sweaty fingers. Lake Te Anau was to their left now, stretching along and sparkling in the sunshine. Elijah risked a glance from time to time. It was truly a marvelous sight and gradually he forgot how nervous he had been when he had gotten behind the wheel. After another mile he pulled the car over and turned off to the left. A narrow country lane led them towards the lake and Elijah was surprised how deserted the area was. He parked the car on a grass expense and turned off the engine. Opening the door and getting out of the car with Dominic, the two guys were just standing there for a moment, next to each other, their eyes taking in the stunning scenery. The smooth water, the impressive mountains and green hills on the other side of the lake, the small clouds in the sky…

“How lucky are we to be here and to get to see this?” Elijah breathed, studying the countryside, totally mesmerized. 

Dominic pulled his gaze away from the landscape and watched Elijah’s perfect profile. Those eyes, even bigger now as they were looking at the beauty around them, the nicely defined nose, the soft lips. Even the black shirt, buttoned up over another white one. He smiled, even if it was a little wistfully. He loved the fact that he seemed to have done the right thing for Elijah. But he sighed deep inside because Elijah looked even more beautiful and endearing at this very moment, with this magnificent background and his whole being radiating. “Very lucky,” he mumbled, not taking his eyes off Elijah. But when the younger man turned his head and looked at him, Dominic could not take it any longer. Quickly turning around he moved to the trunk, or else he might have done something they both would have regretted profoundly afterwards. “I’m getting the food.”

Elijah saw him disappear behind the car and he had almost reached out to drag him back. To keep him here by his side. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, then he swiftly decided to get the blanket from the backseat, mainly to keep himself from starting to worry again. Spreading it out on the shore, he sat down cross-legged and Dominic joined him, carrying a basket full of specialties. 

“Mmm, what’s that?” Elijah examined the small pieces of quickbread.

“Scones. Made of wheat and oatmeal and best served with honey. Classically British,” Dominic explained with a smile as he pulled a glass of sweet honey out of the basket and Elijah took a bite. He lowered himself back on his elbows and looked into the distance. 

“Where do you see yourself in two years, Elijah?” he suddenly asked.

Elijah dipped his scone into the honey glass. “In two years? That would be at the end of 2001…”

“Yeah, when the first movie comes out,” Dominic said, his voice sounding strangely off, like his mind was miles away. “How do you think this will change you?”

Elijah looked at some spot on the other side of the lake as he mused. He had often wondered what might or might not be, but he had always come to the conclusion that no one could tell. It was too inconceivable and definitely too unforeseeable. In fact, anything could happen. “I think either the movies will be a total disaster and flop and none of us will ever get another job, or it’ll be a fucking huge success and lift us up to eternal fame.” Looking at Dominic again, he saw his mate lying on his side now, his head leaning against his hand and looking up at him, listening intently. “But I hope it won’t change me as a person.”

Dominic smiled and reached for another scone. “I guess when you grow up in Hollywood, nothing can shock you anymore, eh? And if you wanted to become an arrogant movie-star arse, you would have become one a  _long_ time ago.”

Elijah blushed faintly. “I told you, I’m not a star,” he shrugged, his fingers ripping out a blade of grass and playing with it. “I was raised better than that and my family would never let me lose the ground beneath my feet.” Ceasing the momentary shredding of the grass, he looked at Dominic. “And you? Where do you see yourself in the future?”

Dominic lay down on his back and looked up at the blue sky. That color, that simple color that reminded him of one special person each and every time. Blinking a few times, he replied, “You know, I won’t lie. I love what I’m doing and I love the attention it’s giving me. I started acting professionally when I was your age now. I was a sodding nobody from England whose parents first thought he was daft when he told them what he wanted to do with his life. And now…I’m here. I’m a part of the Lord of the Rings. I don’t think I’ll ever regret it. None of us ever will…”

Trailing off, he turned his head and looked at Elijah’s attentive face. He sat up and leaned back on his hands. “I agree with you, I don’t think this will change me as a person. At least not for the worse. It can only change me for the better and it already has…”

Dominic’s eyes locked tightly with Elijah’s as he was talking, revealing what he had already revealed to his diary and only to his diary. He sat up straight. “Believe me or not, Elijah, meeting you definitely changed me for the better.” Elijah raised an eyebrow, inside his heart started to beat faster. You changed me for the better as well, Dom, he wanted to say. And so much more. But he wouldn’t do that. He had fought it until now and he could fight it longer. 

“I told you I had been nervous before I got to know you,” Dominic continued. “I thought you might be some stuck up, deranged celebrity who couldn’t cope with the early fame. But you’re nothing like that, Lij. You’re such a sweet, friendly and normal person despite growing up in that Hollywood shark pool. And I know now that, no matter where my life may take me as an actor, I wanna be like you. I know it’s possible and I don’t have to be nervous anymore. Just looking at you proves that it is possible to stay grounded and down-to-earth. And that’s a main reason why I think you made me be a better person…”

It hit Dominic as he trailed off once more. Geez, bloody awesome, Dom. Why didn’t you just go ahead and declare your feelings right away? Shut up. This is about true friendship and camaraderie. Nothing more, nothing less. Right? Right…

Elijah dropped the grass blade and swallowed hard. It took him a few moments to regain his ability to speak. God Dom…you just made everything ten times harder than it already is. Do you know that? Do you know what you’re doing to me? What you’ve done to me since we first met? “Well…,” he could feel his heated face and knew he must have gone red as a beet. “I don’t see why someone should lose his good personality just because he’s become famous. It’s important that you remain true to yourself and keep in mind that you’re not better than anyone else. And  _you_ could never turn into an arrogant asshole, Dom.”

Dominic smiled. “I’m glad you think so, Lij…” And how could it be that Elijah got to be even more adorable than he already was right now? Giving a rational reply to Dominic’s emotional rant. Though Dominic could see and feel the whirlwind his words had caused inside his friend. But Elijah was so cute when he tried to suppress and hide his nervousness and act as normal as possible. But maybe Dominic would manage to pull him even out of that shell eventually.

Elijah looked away and at the lake again. “Hmm, wanna go check out the water?” he suddenly asked and eagerly put off his trainers and socks, rolling up his jeans legs.

Dominic laughed as he watched him. “It’s bloody cold, I can tell you that.”

Elijah was grinning from ear to ear. “I used to do this as a kid back in Cedar Rapids every spring. Hannah and I would always challenge each other and whoever went into the shallow water of the river last was the total loser. But mom always had a watchful eye on us.”

“Hmm, I bet she had…,” Dominic smiled as Elijah got up and went towards the lake. He jumped down a small incline and stood on the muddy ground. Then he dipped his big toe into the water. Dominic got up as well and stopped at the edge of the incline. Elijah was just a couple of feet below him. Shoving his hands into his jeans pockets, he watched as Elijah slowly stepped into the water. 

“You’re not screaming yet?” Dominic remarked with a chuckle and Elijah looked up at him.

“It’s not that bad. Come down!”

Dominic tilted his head. “Ahh, I don’t know… I’m a rather sensitive bloke.” 

Elijah laughed. “Stop being such a girl.”

Dominic mock-gasped and began to untie his shoes. “Alright, Elwood. Get ready.” He pulled off his shoes and socks and rolled up his pants. Then he jumped down the incline and waded into the water slowly. 

“Look,” Elijah pointed at a rather big bird that was swimming a few feet before him. “I read several endangered species live around these shores.” 

Dominic came to stand next to him. “Hmm…it’s almost like being a part of nature here, isn’t it?” The water was pleasantly cool and his toes buried themselves in the sand at the bottom. 

“Definitely the most beautiful place I’ve ever been,” Elijah said in awe, his hands on his hips. “Maybe I’ll buy a house somewhere here when filming is over,” he smiled enthusiastically.

“Brilliant idea! The hobbits should all get a house in New Zealand. It’s their home after all.”

Elijah chuckled. “Yeah, and somewhere near a lake, so they can cool themselves off in summer.” Bending down, he dipped his hand into the water and splashed a little amount at Dominic. 

“Hey, you little minx!” Dominic laughed and kicked some water at a heavily laughing Elijah.

“Okay okay, I surrender.” Still snickering, Elijah lifted his hands and Dominic crossed his arms in satisfaction.

“Ha. But here’s the deal. We’ll continue the sea battle when it’s warmer, yes?” 

“How old are we? 12?” Elijah grinned as he began to wade back to the shore. 

“Hey, you started it, sir!” Dominic called after him and Elijah regretted that it wasn’t warmer yet. Maybe they could do something real fun in summer. Like going to the beach and learn how to surf. Yeah, that would definitely be fun. Dominic waded more quickly and reached the shoreline first. His wet feet got covered with sand and he put a knee on the top of the incline before pulling himself up on the grass. Still on his knees, he reached out his hand to help Elijah up. Elijah gratefully accepted it and placed his free hand on the grass at the top. Then Dominic pulled him up.

“Here we go…,” he said as Elijah reached the top and stood up. But something was odd. Elijah came to stand face to face with him, his blue eyes locking with his. And Dominic couldn’t look away. He didn’t want to look away. Elijah stared at him, not even blinking once. Dominic realized he was still holding his hand, that soft and tender hand with the perfect skin. Elijah didn’t pull it back, in fact, he didn’t move at all. It was like he was frozen on the spot, but Dominic didn’t feel much differently himself. Elijah was breathing slowly and his lips were lightly parted. A plump bottom lip and a narrow upper lip. Dominic’s eyes traveled from that mouth to the blue eyes and back down again. His heart started to race and his mind went numb. Except for one thing. One word, echoing in his head over and over again. Elijah…Elijah…Lijah…

Before he even realized what he was doing he pulled Elijah a little closer until he could feel that warm breath on his face. His left hand reached up and long, slender fingers cupped Elijah’s cheek. Elijah was barely breathing as he felt that soft touch on his skin. He blinked for the first time in what seemed like minutes and his eyes moved down to Dominic’s slightly moist lips. He had no idea how it had happened, but everything had suddenly disappeared. Their surroundings, the movies, the nagging voices in the back of his head…He saw how Dominic, almost in slow-motion, tilted his head and leaned down and forward. Elijah closed his eyes as Dominic closed the space between them and pressed his lips against his ever so gently. A small, simple movement, but Elijah felt like he had been knocked out. Dominic’s lips were on his. He was kissing him. Dom was kissing him. Gradually he managed to grasp it and his heart began to pound wildly. It was like nothing he had ever felt before in his life. His right hand was still held tightly, but his left hand slowly found its place on Dominic’s upper arm, just where his short-sleeved, white shirt ended. And when Dominic started to move his lips leisurely and gently, the tip of his tongue tracing along Elijah’s now closed lips, he was sure he melted. 

Dominic’s hand remained on Elijah’s cheek, his fingers beginning a slow, caressing movement. He kept the kiss slow and soft and when he felt Elijah respond by parting his lips after a few more seconds, he couldn’t resist and gently pushed his tongue into that warm, welcoming mouth. Everything else was shut out. The voices that would normally tell him how wrong this was. That it would never ever happen. But he didn’t give a damn at this very moment. At this very moment they were just Dom and Lijah…and nothing else mattered. 

He sighed softly into that mouth and eventually felt Elijah pull back. His lips were lightly swollen and moist, and those blue eyes were open again. They looked scared. “Dom….” It was just a faint whisper, but it sounded so incredibly sad. Don’t…don’t be scared, Elijah…

“Shh…,” Dominic removed his hand from the warm cheek and placed his forefinger briefly on Elijah’s lips. “Come here….” It was an equally quiet whisper and he pulled the boy against his chest and into his arms. Elijah wrapped his own arms around Dominic and closed his eyes. Everything came back. The warning and protesting voices that had been bothering him for weeks. How could something so beautiful be so wrong?

Dominic closed his eyes as well, his only focus on Elijah. He knew he had to do something. Normally he would have cheered inwardly, feeling like the happiest bloke in the world. They had kissed. They had actually kissed. He wished someone would pinch him and tell him he wasn’t dreaming. But he almost wished he  _was_ dreaming. Because it wasn’t that easy, in fact, he was pretty sure it might have been a fucking huge mistake. He had just gotten both of them into a shitload of trouble, something he had wanted to prevent so bad. But it was too late now. He had kissed Elijah and Elijah had kissed him back. And now they had to deal with it. Nothing would ever be the same again and Dominic knew for once he really had to take responsibility. So he made another silent promise, just as he had done all those weeks ago when he had held a sobbing Elijah on the floor of Peter’s bathroom. I’ll always take care of you, Lij…always…we will make it together…

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Dominic didn’t know how long they had been standing like this. None of them said a word as they were leaning against each other, the only sound coming from the singing of the birds. Elijah had tensed up in his arms, but after a while Dominic felt him relax. Slowly and gently Dominic loosened the hold of his arms around him and took his hand, leading Elijah back to the blanket. Elijah looked like he was in some sort of trance as he sat down cross-legged, his eyes staring at the ground. Dominic sat down across from him, watching his friend’s blank features.

“Elijah?” Not getting any reaction, Dominic found himself quite worried for a moment and cursed but also praised his own stupidity for the what felt like hundredth time since the kiss. “Elijah…I’m…I’m sorry….” Sorry? What the hell, he wasn’t sorry. How could he be sorry about something so beautiful, so heavenly as kissing Elijah? No, if anything, he was sorry about the whole bloody situation, the circumstance of the flourishing feelings. The movies, the studio, Hollywood, popularity, images and reputations…He would do it again if all those things didn’t exist or matter. But they did.

“No,” Elijah looked up for the first time, the sadness and regret still visible in his eyes. “Don’t be sorry. If you hadn’t started it, I would have…”

Dominic blinked in surprise. “Seriously? I thought…shit, I don’t know what I thought…”

Shaking his head and sighing deeply, Elijah rubbed his eyes with one hand. “Fuck Dom…what are we doing…?” What were they doing? They were falling for each other, that’s what they were doing. You better accept it, Elijah, the little nagging voice in his head said. Looks like you’re not the flawless, picture-perfect son you always wanted to be. Let alone the picture-perfect actor you aspired to be. You let everyone down. Your mother, your father, your siblings. They separated because of you. And now you’re making it even worse by developing feelings for a man. In the middle of filming The Lord of the Rings. If anyone finds out, good night…

Elijah squeezed his eyes shut, struggling to get the voice to shut up.

“Lij…,” Dominic started softly as he could see how much Elijah was fighting with himself. “I know this will not make it any easier, but I want you to know...I need you to know….these past weeks and months you slowly sneaked into my heart and I loved having you there. As much as it hurt and it hurt a bloody lot because I didn’t know how you were feeling. It just took a smile from you and everything inside me melted into a puddle. And I know everything’s gotten so damn complicated now, but I also know I’ll always hold that kiss dear, no matter what happens from now on…”

Elijah had stared at his wringing hands while Dominic was speaking and now he finally managed to look at him again. “Dom…,” he sighed miserably. “It’s…you don’t understand…”

“What?” Dominic inquired with a frown. “What don’t I understand?”

Elijah just shook his head. God, where was he supposed to start? Should he even start at all? It was all so fucking difficult and screwed up and a part of him feared that Dominic might even lose the respect he obviously had for him. Elijah often couldn’t even feel any respect for himself. And now it was harder than ever.

“Elijah…,” Dominic’s voice reached his mind. “Please, talk to me. You know you can tell me anything.”

What a strange déjà-vu-feeling. They weren’t in Peter Jackson’s bathroom, but out in the open, on the shore of the breathtaking Lake Te Anau. And again Elijah would tell Dominic about his inner demons and allow him a glimpse into his soul which was still so young, but so tormented already.

“You know about my mother, Hannah and Zach,” he finally began with hesitation, trying to find the right words. Dominic just nodded silently and listened. “We went to Los Angeles for some talent convention when I was seven. I got a first part in a music video and then a few commercials. It was all very exciting for me, you know, as a little kid starting in the business. But my father eventually had to go back to Cedar Rapids because he had to continue his work and also, he didn’t approve of LA…”

Dominic narrowed his eyes as Elijah trailed off, apparently struggling to think about how to go on. This was the first time Elijah actually mentioned his father at all. It seemed to torture him like nothing else ever had, not even his fear of playing Frodo. Dominic had an idea where this might be heading, but he remained quiet. Elijah needed to talk about this, he needed to get this burden from the past off his chest. And talking about it was the first step to recovery.

“Looking back now, I don’t even blame him. I mean, child acting, and in Hollywood on top of that, is really a fucking frightening and cut-throat thing. You see what can go wrong with child stars like Macaulay Culkin. He was like me when I met him and made a movie with him, but when he got older, he went totally crazy. And all because of the early fame and his parents used him as a cash machine. And when I actually started with movies, my father was scared that Hollywood might rip me into pieces. Believe me, I have witnessed enough shit that proved my dad’s fear was justified. But I survived and I think that’s because of my mom. She never took advantage of me in any way. If I hadn’t loved acting so much, she would have moved back to Iowa with us. But she wanted me to stay as normal as possible and to enjoy my childhood. And I did…”

Dominic smiled at that. It was so nice to hear that some parents of famous kids were still reasonable enough to treat their children like children and not like their main source of income. Elijah had been truly blessed. If only his father had been there…

“My dad stayed in Cedar Rapids and in the course of time my parents drifted more and more apart. When I was 14…they filed for divorce…”

Closing his eyes, Elijah trailed off again and shuddered. He pulled his legs up against his chest and buried his face in his knees. Suddenly he felt awfully exposed and so very vulnerable. He realized he had never actually told this to anyone. Not the whole sad story.

It took every amount of self-control for Dominic not to pull Elijah into his arms. He knew if he did that, Elijah would break down completely and Dominic felt there was some more he had to reveal. And he wanted to give him the time and space to do so.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Elijah slowly opened his eyes again, but remained in his position. He gaze was watery and cast down. “I haven’t talked to my father ever since. I found lots of comfort in music at that time.”

His voice was quiet and strained and Dominic scooted a little closer to catch every word.

“My mother tried to explain it to us. She said they had just grown apart, that it had nothing to do with us and that they still loved us very much. But I knew better. If my mother hadn’t moved to LA because of me, if I had had a normal childhood in Iowa…my parents would still be together.”

Wiping his wet eyes, it took Elijah a few moments before he could continue.

“It was all my fault, Dom. I destroyed our family and now…now I’m destroying these movies because I couldn’t control my emotions anymore. My family has experienced enough shame because of me. I don’t want to make it even worse by ruining my reputation and theirs…”

Dominic closed his eyes as everything was spinning around him and he repeated Elijah’s words in his head. This was even way more complicated than he had thought. It wasn’t just the Hollywood and career issue. It was a deep-rooted feeling of self-blame and shame that had shaped Elijah’s way of thinking as he had entered adulthood. A dangerous circumstance since a traumatic incident like that at such a young age would normally influence your entire personality for the worse. You carry it around deep inside like a heavy dead-weight. It becomes a part of you.

“Elijah…please, look at me…,” Dominic pleaded softly.

And Elijah did. Slowly and hesitatingly, but he did.

“I’m really sorry about your parents. I can’t even imagine how I would have felt if this had happened to my folks at your age. From what you’ve told me, your mum and dad must love you a lot. They both wanted what’s best for you, but they had different views of what this was. Your mother noticed your talent and she supported it. And look where you ended up. And your father thought a normal childhood in Cedar Rapids was probably better for you. Both of them had justified perspectives. I completely understand your thoughts about the divorce, Lij. But you must see this as well. Adults are adults and sometimes a marriage works out and sometimes it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t, then it’s nobody’s fault but theirs. Blaming a child for a divorce is total bollocks and bullshit. Perhaps the fact that your mum took you to LA was a necessary test to show how strong their relationship really was. And maybe something else would have happened to make them grow apart even if you had stayed in Iowa or maybe not. You just don’t know. But you have to stop with the self-blame, Elijah. It’s nonsense and it’s eating you up inside, I can tell.”

Elijah looked at him blankly. He had looked at him the entire time and he had been listening. Dominic had seen the inner struggle behind those beautiful eyes. Elijah wanted to believe him, but years of insecurities couldn’t be erased just like that.

“Yes, it is eating me up, Dom,” Elijah finally said, defeat in his voice. “I’ve been living with this feeling for years and it’s not going away. I would give up my career immediately if I could get my parents back. Believe me, I fucking would.”

“Elijah,” Dominic tried again. “First of all, you can be damn proud of what you’ve achieved so far. Your mom sent you on the right way. You’re great at what you’re doing. And maybe you’ll see your dad again some day. If he doesn’t know yet what a wonderful man you grew up to be, he’ll know after Rings. He might even take the first step, you know, it’s his duty as a responsible father and he should have done this a long time ago…”

He stopped. Something in Elijah’s eyes had changed and for a moment Dominic could see how the words sunk in. He hoped and prayed that Elijah would understand the meaning.

Elijah looked down as he thought back, recalling the past years, the last moment with his father, the farewell. And he tried to remember what had happened afterwards. Had his dad ever called again to ask about Elijah and his siblings? He couldn’t memorize a single talk because none had occurred. That moment almost five years ago had indeed been the last time he had spoken to his father. As a child, or rather a teenager, you just entered your most difficult phase of growing up. You don’t think about possible motives between your parents that might lead them to a separation. You just feel guilty and seek the blame with yourself. You don’t realize that your parents could have done something wrong. But now Elijah was a grown-up and it made sense.

“Why did he never call?” He suddenly asked with a frown. His eyes met Dominic’s again. “Why did he never ask about us? Why did he leave just like that? Divorce or not, he was still our father. He was the grown-up and it was his fucking duty. Why did he abandon us…”

Clasping a hand over his mouth, Elijah took a sharp breath, struggling to keep his emotions at bay. “God…Dom…why did he drop us…”

Dominic moved even closer until he was crouching right in front of him. He swore he could feel Elijah’s pain himself. “Elijah, you don’t know for sure if he let you down or not. I don’t know him, but I bet there must be a reason why he never spoke to you kids again. Maybe your mom wouldn’t let him, maybe he was ashamed that his marriage didn’t work out…but Lij, you’ll never find peace again if you don’t take matters into your own hands. You’re grown up now and your dad would kick his own arse if he could see what kind of person you’ve become and knew that he missed all those years. And most importantly, Lij, don’t dwell on the past. Don’t let it pull you down even further. You’re a sweet and lovely young man and have your whole life in front of you. Make the best of it.”

Without thinking much, Dominic carefully removed Elijah’s hand from his mouth and held it tightly in his. Elijah looked at their joined fingers. Would his dad be proud? Or would he be ashamed? If he knew?

“That girlfriend I once had,” he suddenly said, “I told you about her. She was nice and all. I liked hanging out with her, but other than that…there was nothing. I didn’t feel anything, Dom. We kissed a couple of times, but she didn’t attract me. It just…it just felt strange.”

Looking up at Dominic, Elijah blinked, his eyes questioning and afraid. “Do you believe my father would think of me as a wonderful son and person if he knew what’s up with me?”

“What is up with you, Lij?” Dominic knew the answer, but it was important for Elijah to say it out loud.

“You know…,” Elijah’s voice dropped to a whisper. “That I’m…,” he swallowed hard and lifted his free hand to his eyes to cover them. “That I’m…probably gay…” God, why did it hurt so fucking much? Long, tender fingers pulled his hand away from his face. Dominic looked at him seriously and shook his head.

“Elijah, stop this labeling rubbish. It doesn't matter if a person is gay, straight, bi, metro or whatever-sexual. You fall in love with a person, not with a gender. All that matters is that you feel comfortable and happy with your life. And your sexuality doesn’t change who you are as a person. Don’t let any fucktards tell you otherwise.”

“But it does matter to some people, Dom,” Elijah objected. “No one wants to see a gay Frodo. Image is everything in Hollywood. I’ve seen so many great gay actors get rejected because they didn’t fit into the scheme. And can you imagine what would happen if they found out about us? Do you remember what Pete said? The press is just waiting for a scandal. And peeing into a fountain is nothing compared to _this_.”

“I know, Elijah. I know and I would never shout it from the rooftops if that’s what you’re afraid of. It’s nobody’s sodding business anyway,” Dominic let go of Elijah and sat back cross-legged. This was so frustrating. It was frustrating to know that if they were a man and a woman falling in love, everyone would cheer and approve. Co-stars getting together, how fucking romantic. Congratulations. But two men? Burn in hell! They were about to enter the 21st century, but Hollywood was still stuck in the Middle Ages. Dominic hadn’t grown up in Los Angeles, nor had he ever worked in the United States, but it was an open secret that countless gay actors preferred staying in the closet for the sake of their careers. Even their Gandalf, Ian McKellen, hadn’t come out before the age of 59, but mainly because he had thought it was nobody’s business. He hadn’t even told his family. But he had witnessed the discrimination in the business.

“We can’t do this, Dom,” Elijah sighed sadly and wrapped his arms around his legs. “We can’t do this to anyone. Peter, the movies….Oh God…,” he sniffed and Dominic felt like crying himself.

“You know,” Dominic mumbled. “I think I would give it a chance. If we keep it low and secret…I believe it would be worth it…”

He didn’t dare to look up. He knew Elijah must be staring at him like he had gone crazy.

“No, Dom,” Elijah said rigorously. “That would be fucking insane. Maybe…maybe it’ll pass, you know…if we don’t speak about it anymore.”

You don’t seriously believe that yourself, Dominic thought, but just mumbled a quiet “Yeah, maybe”. Let’s keep on lying to ourselves. Bloody brilliant.

Awkward silence. Neither of them uttered a word and eventually Dominic got up and put his shoes back on, then he started to pack their stuff back into the trunk. Elijah put on his shoes, helped him and got into the passenger seat. Dominic slipped into the driver seat and waited a few moments before starting the ignition. Turning the car around, he drove back onto the country lane. He took a final look into the rear-view mirror and felt his heart grow heavy, leaving this gorgeous spot behind and with it a wonderful incident. But the memory would remain. Elijah’s lips against his, for the first and last time.

That evening he wrote into his diary.

 

_November 13, 1999_

_Dear diary,_

_I kissed Elijah today. And he kissed me. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced, but it’s now nothing but a magnificent memory. I begin to think he’s right. We can’t do this. It’s bloody mad. I need to get him out of my head, but I have no idea how. Fucking hell…it hurts so much…_

 

Dominic hadn’t cried in a long time, but that night he fell asleep with tears in his eyes.

 

~**~

 

The good thing about stressful work on a movie set, it doesn’t give you much time to think about your problems. Or your broken heart. A couple of days later, Mount Owen in the far north of the South Island served for night shoots and a dramatic scene for Fellowship of the Ring. Aragorn leads the characters out of Moria and they all weep for Gandalf on the rocky Dimrill Dale plateau. A heart-wrenching scene. Shouldn’t be too difficult to film, Dominic thought, not without sarcasm. After a helicopter ride to the location, the slopes of Mount Owen, the cast got another make-up treatment with some dirt added to their faces. Sean Bean, who was playing Boromir, was truly one of a kind. He absolutely dreaded the helicopter rides, so he insisted on walking while the others would enjoy a comfortable flight.

“Bloody daft,” Billy remarked jokingly, but it only drew a wry smile from Dominic. He had been feeling like shit for days and he probably looked like it as well. Elijah and he had hardly talked to each other anymore. And if they talked, it was about work or other non-personal subjects. Dominic noticed how Elijah distanced himself from him more and more and he knew he did this because he was convinced his feelings would diminish and eventually disappear completely. Dominic could only shake his head about that. He had been in love twice and had one meaningless fling. He was familiar with the feeling of love sickness. But it was evident that Elijah had never been in love before. He was so sophisticated and mature for his age, probably much more than Dominic, but he was so naive in this respect. Most of all, innocent. It wasn’t his fault of course. He was still young and yes, so so pure in Dominic’s eyes. But he was fooling himself. He thought his feelings would vanish just by ignoring them, but that was plain wishful thinking.

And Dominic’s own feelings for Elijah? They were like nothing he had ever felt before. It was so incredibly distressing because he was certain that they could have something great if only Elijah gave them the chance. Dominic had told him, after their wonderful kiss, that he was willing. Yes, it would be totally lunatic and they shouldn’t do it, but Dominic knew he would. They could find a way to make it work, but Elijah refused.

As they were walking side by side to the set, Billy kept glancing at his mate with worried eyes. He had observed the change of behavior between Dominic and Elijah and it filled him with sorrow. Yet asking Dominic was no use. He wouldn’t say anything.

“Hey, boys!” They turned around at the voice and saw a happily smiling Sean Bean walking towards them. Astonishing, he had actually made it. Orlando followed him and grinned.

“Isn’t he one fucking crazy bastard?” He laughed as he adjusted his Legolas-outfit. Even with dirt on his face he still looked absolutely flawless.

“Jesus Orli, you start to sound like Elijah,” Billy giggled but stopped as he noticed the light wincing from Dominic beside him.

“It’s okay, Billy,” Sean said. “The Southern softie doesn’t know any better. Where’s Elijah anyway?”

Billy knew Dominic wouldn’t answer, so he did. “Still getting his make-up done. Those helicopter rides are not good for his sensitive skin.”

“I wish I had skin like that,” Sean sighed dramatically, touching his own face. “But I’m just getting old. I better get used to these wrinkles.”

Orlando placed an arm onto Sean’s shoulder and smirked at Dominic and Billy. ”Nah nah. Don’t you think he gets more and more handsome with age? It’s astounding.”

“Not as handsome as Mr. Mortensen,” Sean shook his head and smiled as he spotted Viggo. “Excuse me, gentlemen,” he said and made his way over to him. Orlando went with him, so Billy and Dominic were left alone again.

Crossing his arms and looking at his friend, Billy said, “Are you sure you are okay, Dom? Normally you would have joined a silly talk like that one right away and pulled one joke after another. And now? Not a single word. And you’re hardly talking to Elijah anymore. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You both haven’t been yourselves for days and I have to say, you have me quite worried.”

Dominic stared at him blankly. It was the usual “Are you okay? – Yes, I am”-talk, but this time he almost considered telling Billy everything he had only told his diary so far. Billy might even suspect something already and the way he was looking at him right now seemed to confirm that suspicion. Billy had become his best friend in New Zealand, or rather, his best platonic friend, as his friendship with Elijah was on a completely different level.

“Elijah…he…,” Dominic began and mentally slapped himself. Jesus, what the bloody hell are you doing? But he needed to get it out, at this very m0ment. “We’ve grown a little too close, I’m afraid…” Bowing his head, he looked at his hobbit feet as he felt his face go red. Billy nodded and put an arm around his shoulders. He had known. Billy had known and hadn’t said anything. He had observed from the distance and given them their space, not pressing the matter. What a wonderful, loyal friend he was.

“If you wanna talk, I’m here,” Billy said, leaning in close so that Dominic couldn’t avoid his reassuring eyes. Dominic looked back into those eyes and nodded sadly.

“Thank you, Bills,” he whispered and took a deep, shuddering breath. “Guess I’m in the right emotional state for this scene,” he said wryly and felt Billy squeeze his shoulder.

A few hundred meters down the slope, Elijah just got finished with his make-up. Sean Astin was kneeling on the ground and talking to his daughter Alexandra. The little girl giggled happily and gave her father a tight hug. Christine joined them and took Ali by the hand to look after her while Sean was filming. It was a normal sight. His family would often visit Sean on set and nobody minded. On the contrary, it had a calming effect on Sean who had said that he just needed them to be there sometimes. He stood up and kissed his wife briefly but lovingly.

Elijah smiled lightly at the scene, but then the smile faltered and he sighed sadly. What a perfect family. Mommy, daddy, child. No one questioned their behavior. No one would ever disapprove. No one would ever judge them. Surely Dominic would want a family of his own some day. A loving wife, wonderful kids. The classic model family. He would never have to hide and be ashamed. Hadn’t Dominic said he had had two or three girlfriends in the past? It had never worked out? He certainly would find the right woman one day. And Elijah? He’d be the secretly homosexual, but pretending to be straight and happy guy who’d never really be happy. But right now he was at a complete and utter loss. He had been lying to himself for almost three years. If something good had come from that day with Dominic at Lake Te Anau, it was certainly this. Elijah found his inner resistance fading more and more until he was finally able to admit it. He liked men. He liked them a lot. And he desired Dominic. Even more so after that beautiful moment at the lake. The stupid thought that his feelings might go away if he distanced himself had turned out to be total bullshit. It hurt so fucking much and it made him miss Dominic all the more. His presence, his smile, his jokes, his hugs. And that kiss, that soft and loving kiss, was locked away in his heart.

“Let’s go,” Sean said as he came over to Elijah. He was in a particularly good mood today and motivated on top of that. Elijah managed a smile.

“Ali is absolutely wonderful. You sure want more kids in the future, hmm?”

Sean’s face lit up. Talking about his family was his ultimate source of happiness. Besides having deeply professional conversations about movies of course. “Absolutely!” he smiled and nudged Elijah. “You want kids one day, Lij?”

Elijah chuckled quietly as he looked at the ground. “Yeah, maybe. Some day.” Truth was, he had never really thought about it. And how could it ever be possible anyway?

A tall man passed by, a bearded guy with an iron helmet and a long armor. Sean immediately shouted with a mischievous grin. “Indy, they’re digging in the wrong place!” The man turned around and grinned back. “Gimli” John Rhys-Davies must have gotten used to Sean’s constant impersonations by now, especially those of Sallah, John’s role in the Indiana Jones movies. Elijah smiled amused as John raised a finger playfully and addressed Sean, his voice deep and impressive.

“You know, my lad, sometimes it borders on parody.”

Elijah laughed at Sean’s lightly embarrassed face, momentarily forgetting about his load of problems. But as he arrived on location with Sean and John and spotted Dominic sitting on a rock next to Billy, looking like he had just been at a funeral (or was he just getting into the proper emotional state of mind for the scene? Yeah, sure that must be it), Elijah felt like running away. Viggo came over, his ever-present sword in hand and doing a few practice swings. Placing a gloved hand on Elijah’s head, he briefly ruffled the Frodo hair.

“Here, something for the nerves,” he said and handed Elijah and Sean half a bar of chocolate.

“Ahh, you can always rely on the chocolate fairy,” Elijah smiled as he took a bite and handed the bar to Sean who mumbled something like “getting even fatter”.

“Mmm, thanks Vig,” Elijah said and let the chocolate melt in his mouth. Moments like this made his relationship with Viggo even more special. He hadn’t known him for very long, but Viggo gave him such a paternal, sheltered feeling. It was like for the first time in five years he had a father-figure in his life again. Elijah’s mother Debbie had done her best to compensate for the loss of his father and she had done well. But meeting Viggo had made Elijah realize how much he missed a fatherly person in his life. And his conversation with Dominic…he had told him everything. He still couldn’t quite believe it. Dominic had listened and cared and given him advice. Elijah felt like the most ungrateful jerk ever as he thought back. He had shared so much with Dominic, more than he had ever shared with anyone else. And what had he done afterwards? Pushed him away as if nothing had happened.

Elijah looked over at Dominic who was still sitting on his rock. They both had changed and definitely for the worse. Something they had both hoped would never happen when the movies came out.

Oh Dom, he thought miserably and closed his eyes. Please…please, forgive me…

 

~**~

 

Their hotel in Queenstown was only a little less luxurious than their first hotel in Wellington. But who cares about luxury? Elijah certainly didn’t as he closed the door of his room. Silence. It had become his enemy. When there was silence, his mind wasn’t distracted. And if his mind wasn’t distracted, then it meant that he would think back. He had talked to Dominic, but nothing more than “hey” and “bye”. Taking a deep breath, Elijah fumbled a cigarette out of his pocket and walked over to the window. After opening it he lit the clove and took a deep drag. It was late and it was raining again as Elijah blew the smoke out into the night air. As he couldn’t take the silence any longer, he moved over to his portable disc player and stuck the cigarette between his lips. He searched through his CD-case. Black Sabbath, Radiohead, Massive Attack, Liquid Soul, Jimi Hendrix, the White Stripes, some new purchases he had wanted to show to Dominic… …Siamese Dream. Pulling the Smashing Pumpkins album out and carefully putting it into the player, Elijah pressed the shuffle button and removed the cigarette from his lips. He closed his eyes briefly as music filled the room.

The windowsill was rather broad, so he dragged himself up and leaned against the window-frame, his legs stretched out. The rain gradually abated and Elijah smoked, looking out into the darkness. Soft guitar riffs came out of the boxes. The sound of bells and then Billy Corgan started to sing.

 

_Disarm you with a smile_

_And cut you like you want me to_

_Cut that little child_

_Inside of me and such a part of you_

_Ooh, the years burn_

 

Elijah suddenly felt like he had been hit with a hammer. This song, it was one of his favorites. He had listened to it for the very first time when the album had been released. He had been 12 at the time. Elijah had always sensed a special connection to this band as lots of their songs expressed exactly what he was feeling. Corgan was just an awesome songwriter. The lyrics of “Disarmed” echoed through Elijah’s mind.

 

_I used to be a little boy_

_So old in my shoes_

_And what I choose is my choice_

_What's a boy supposed to do?_

_The killer in me is the killer in you_

_My love_

_I send this smile over to you_

 

The clove was slowly burning away between his fingers as Elijah blinked. Billy Corgan had written this song because of his troubled childhood. He had held a huge grudge against his parents who had gotten divorced when he was three. Billy had later lived with his stepmother after her and his real father had separated, even though his parents had been living nearby. Truly a difficult fate and a million times worse than what Elijah had experienced. And as he was listening to the lyrics now, they suddenly held a completely different meaning to him that they had before. The talk with Dominic. The fear of following his heart. Don’t dwell on the past, Dominic had urged. You’re a grown man now. Make the best of it…

“What I choose is my choice,” Elijah whispered into the night and swallowed hard as the song line whirled around in his head. His thoughts were racing.

 

_Disarm you with a smile_

_And leave you like they left me here_

_To wither in denial_

_The bitterness of one who's left alone_

_Ooh, the years burn_

_Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn_

 

They burn indeed. The memories hurt like nothing else. Shall I leave you, Dom? Shall I leave you like they left me? Like my father left me. It wasn’t my fault, you said. The divorce just happened. The world is fucking unfair and cruel sometimes, also to 14-year-old children. I don’t want to wither in denial. I don’t want to be left alone. And I don’t want to lie to myself anymore. You’re just a few walls away and you said you would be there. You would take me as I am and we could find a way to survive somehow. Even here where everything is against us. I am not a boy anymore. And I know what to do.

 

_I used to be a little boy_

_So old in my shoes_

_And what I choose is my voice_

_What's a boy supposed to do?_

_The killer in me is the killer in you_

_My love_

_I send this smile over to you_

 

Tears were streaming down his cheeks now, but Elijah didn’t notice. An invisible hand seemed to grab him slowly, pulling him away from his spot. The powerful chorus, the violins, the guitar riffs sent shivers through Elijah’s body which suddenly seemed to move on its own as his feet touched the ground. Stubbing the cigarette out in the ashtray on the table next to the window, Elijah rushed over to the door, ripped it open and slammed it shut. He stumbled through the corridor and knocked at another door. Frowning at his blurry vision, Elijah finally became aware of his tears. He wiped most of them away. The door opened.

Dominic was standing in front of him, his sweatpants and the muscle shirt revealing that he had just gotten ready for the night. For a moment they just looked at each other, Dominic totally perplexed and Elijah sobbing. But Dominic quickly regained his ability to move and pulled the younger man into his room. Elijah practically fell into his arms, clinging to him with what strength he had left.

“Dom…,” he cried and Dominic wrapped his arms around him, his own tears not far away. “I’m so so sorry.”

Kicking the door shut, Dominic held Elijah as tightly as he could, not yet realizing what had happened. He felt Elijah pull away, but only to press his lips firmly against Dominic’s own. You came back…you came back to me…my beautiful Lijah…

Tears gathered in his eyes as he kissed Elijah back just as passionately. They broke to catch their breaths after a few seconds, but their foreheads touched. Dominic reached up with one hand and wiped Elijah’s tears away.

“Everything’s gonna be alright, Lij…I promise…” Nodding to emphasize his reassuring words, Dominic was relieved when a smile formed on Elijah’s wet face. It was the most beautiful sight since leaving Lake Te Anau and that breathtaking spot behind. Along with the memory. Slowly Elijah put his hand on Dominic’s face which was lightly unshaven and looked exhausted, but so very beautiful in Elijah’s eyes.

“I love you, Dom…” It was a mere whisper and Dominic felt like crying all over again. Stroking Elijah’s cheek, like he had done during their first kiss, he smiled instead of weeping. There had been enough grief, despair and definitely enough tears.

“I love you, too.” Their lips met again and in Elijah’s room Billy Corgan started to sing another song.

 

_Today_

_Is the greatest day_

_I've ever known…_

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

The first time Dominic had seen Elijah was in a movie called The Good Son. Everyone had known Macaulay Culkin, shot to fame with Home Alone. But Dominic had not yet been familiar with the dark-haired, blue-eyed kid of the same age that had been starring alongside “Kevin”. The remarkable talent had struck Dominic right away because in spite of having the less demanding and interesting role, Elijah had outshone his bad boy actor colleague by far. That movie had caused Dominic to develop a severe fear of ice-skating for a while, much to the amusement of his older brother. Elijah Wood had been the big thing in young Hollywood and now, about six years later, Dominic could not quite grasp yet that the very same boy was in his arms in this moment. And not just that, he was kissing him. This cute little and incredibly gifted child star had grown up and fallen in love with  _him_ , a striving and unimportant nobody from England. Even in Dominic’s dreams the mere fantasy of what they were doing right now, in this hotel room in Queenstown, had seemed more than surreal. 

When the kiss ended, Elijah pulled back, traces of tears still on his cheeks. Dominic took his hand and led him to the couch where Elijah wiped the last of his tears away. Looking at Dominic almost shyly, he smiled with a blush.

“God…look at us….” With his hand he touched Dominic’s equally wet face, that still held a perplexed expression. Elijah’s heart ached at the thought of the past days. The hurt he had caused Dominic, but also himself. The ever-present reluctance to face the truth. He hoped and prayed that Dominic could forgive him some day. But the most important thing right now was what was to come. How were they supposed to act and behave now to have at least a small chance to survive? It would be anything but easy, but Elijah had reached the point where he was ready to go for it. It had taken a fucking long hell of a time, but his confused and jumbled mind had finally cleared up. He knew what he wanted. Only it was so ridiculously risky and jeopardizing that he didn’t even want to think about any possible consequences. 

Taking a deep breath, Elijah leaned back, but didn’t take his eyes off Dominic. “Dom…I’m scared…”

Dominic slowly lost his bewildered appearance and smiled softly. Reaching for Elijah’s hand, he took it gently in his own and gave it a light squeeze. “I know. I’m scared, too.”

Looking down at their hands, he thought for a moment. He had sworn to himself that he would take care of Elijah, but how was he supposed to give him the courage to let himself go and dive into an actual relationship? It was madness, but it was the way it was. None of them had the energy to fight it any longer.

“But we can make it, Lij. I know we can. And you can be sure about one thing. I won’t let you go again.”

Squeezing the soft hand once more, Dominic smiled as he continued.

“God Lijah…I would have never, not in a million years, believed that something like this would happen to me. When I came to New Zealand, all I had in mind was Lord of the Rings and possibly making a couple of new friendships. But this…you…it’s so out of this world…”

Elijah took both Dominic’s hands in his and held them tightly in his lap, smiling back. Hearing the words, matching exactly his own thoughts and feelings, made him feel warm all over. And then the new nickname, a name only a few people very close to him ever used…

“You really got me bad, Dom,” he almost whispered and sighed, one hand letting go of Dominic’s as he placed his elbow on the backrest of the couch and leaned his head against his hand. “You taught me so much about myself and made me see what I couldn’t see before. You still do. You make me feel like I’ve never felt before.”

Dominic reached out and draped his arm along the backrest, his fingers weaving into Elijah’s soft hair. “Same here,” he said dreamily. “You have no idea…”

“Three gays in the Fellowship,” Elijah suddenly grinned. “Who would have thought, huh? But…didn’t you say you had girlfriends before? I don’t quite get it, I thought you were straight…”

Dominic chuckled, his fingers playing with a strand of Elijah’s hair. With a cheeky smirk and a mischievous expression he replied, “Two gays. That we know of. And yes, I had girlfriends, but not just that. If you wanna do the labeling, I am what British slang would call an AC/DC.”

“An AC/DC?” Elijah laughed. “You’re an Australian rock legend with a school uniform?”

“Nah,” Dominic snickered. “Actually AC/DC means as much as bi-sexual.”

“Bi-sexual!” Elijah gasped, like it was the most surprising revelation ever. “Now, that’s interesting.”

“Interesting?” Dominic smiled amused. “I think it’s the most comfortable and open-minded way of living. Why would you exclude half of the world’s population?”

Crossing his arms, Elijah raised both his eyebrows. “So, you could potentially fall for the whole world?”

“Yeah,” Dominic turned serious again as he gazed deeply into Elijah’s eyes. “But I have you now, so the rest of the world doesn’t matter.”

Elijah uncrossed his arms again as the words touched him intensely. Deep inside the tingling feeling got stronger and stronger. Dominic slowly leaned in and both men closed their eyes as they dived into another gentle kiss. Wrapping his arms around Elijah’s slender, almost fragile figure, Dominic hugged him tightly as the kiss ended. He could feel Elijah hug him back, his sweet breath caressing the side of his neck. Placing his mouth right next to Elijah’s, Dominic whispered, “Let’s try not to be so scared anymore.”

Elijah, who had his arms locked around Dominic’s neck and his face pressed against the warm skin, could only nod faintly.

“If we always think about what could go wrong, we’ll go nuts someday. Okay?”

“Okay,” Elijah whispered back, his grip not loosening. He knew it was late and he should probably leave soon, but he didn’t want to. Eventually he did pull back reluctantly.

“I better go now. Don’t want anyone to become suspicious already,” he smiled sadly and Dominic bit his bottom lip. 

“Billy knows. He suspected something anyway. He’s a great bloke, he won’t tell anyone.”

Elijah sighed, remembering the conversation with Billy at lunch a while ago. “I know. I sort of outed myself indirectly to him some time ago. I was so embarrassed.”

Dominic was surprised. So, this was why Billy had acted so strangely from one day to the next, like he was trying to get Dominic to talk, but without pushing him and mentioning the actual issue.

“I trust him completely,” Dominic said and Elijah nodded.

“Yeah, me too.”

Then he stood up and Dominic took his hand as he led him back to the door. Before letting Elijah go for the night, he cupped that perfect face and kissed the soft, sweet mouth once more.

“Good night,” he whispered against the moist lips and Elijah deepened the kiss once last time. He was a little taken aback about how quickly he had grown accustomed to this feeling. Dominic’s lips on his, locked in a loving kiss. It had been strange at the beginning, like kissing your best friend so intimately. But it had changed with every kiss and Elijah felt like he was literally melting away each time. He reached blindly for the door handle and pulled away.

“Good night,” he smiled and opened the door. Then he was gone.

Dominic locked the door again and leaned his forehead against it for a few seconds, his mind only slowly realizing what had happened in the past half an hour. His suitcase was right next to the bed and he moved over, pulling his diary out. Entry after entry full of lamenting and grieving, all his thoughts put into rambling words. Paper was truly patient, more than any human being could ever be. A blank page. Dominic smiled as he pressed the pen against the sheet.

 

_November 20, 1999_

_Dear diary,_

_Today is the beginning of something wonderful…_

 

~**~

 

When Elijah opened his eyes the next morning the rain had ceased. He got up and drew the curtains aside, letting the sunshine illuminate his room. The sight almost held a somewhat symbolic meaning. The darkness had passed and now there was bright light. But was it really that easy? Probably not, however, what was it that Dominic had said? Let’s try not to worry so much anymore. Alright, Elijah thought with determination. Stop freaking out so often and just embrace it.

After showering and getting dressed, Elijah headed downstairs and for the breakfast lounge. He briefly considered knocking at Dominic’s door, but decided against it. A part of him still feared that someone might jump to any right conclusions, though that thought was nonsense. They were friends, so what’s so bad about checking if your friend was already awake and up for some breakfast? Nothing, but Elijah was not yet in the right state to comprehend the whole new situation he was in. A relationship and this time a real one. Not the fake and forced thing he had with that girl a few years before. And not just any relationship. He had fallen in love with a man. With Dominic, his best friend in New Zealand. God, this was still so inconceivable... 

Elijah reached the lounge and spotted Billy and Orlando at one side of a table and Sean, Christine and little Alexandra in her lap at the other side. So, Dominic must still be in his room. Which meant that up until now the only two people still in their rooms had been Dominic and himself. A sudden dread seized Elijah in the pit of his sober stomach. Did the others suspect something?...Fucking hell, stop it, Elijah told himself. Approaching the table, he waved into the round. 

“Good morning!” he said in an especially casual tone and smiled. Everyone returned the greeting and Elijah sat down next to Billy.

“Convenient that you’re finally coming. We’re just talking about what we could do to have a little more fun here,” Orlando explained while he munched a roll. 

“A little more fun?” Elijah grinned and reached for the coffee pot. “You mean even more fun than we’re already having?”

Orlando swallowed, so he could speak properly. “You know, outside of shooting. Some activities to keep us all relaxed and sane.”

“Yeah,” Billy agreed. “We can’t hit the pubs and get aled up _every_ night after all.”

“I went bungee-jumping when I first came here,” Orlando said enthusiastically. “You gotta do that some day, there’s nothing like it!”

“Uh-uh, no way,” Elijah chuckled and lifted his cup to his lips.

“I bet Dom would do it,” Orlando stated convinced and then looked up with a smirk. “Speak of the devil…”

Just at the very moment Dominic came strolling into the lounge. He was clean-shaven and casually dressed in a pair of old, faded jeans and a yellow t-shirt. And he was smiling from ear to ear. 

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!” he shouted, leaned down and wrapped his arms around Orlando’s neck from behind before placing a firm kiss on his cheek. Then he did the same with Billy and Elijah, but left his lips a little longer on Elijah’s face. Orlando looked like a love-struck girl, but in a mocking way, Billy giggled and Elijah went ten shades of red.

“Someone’s in a particularly good mood this morning,” Sean grinned while Alexandra was clapping and laughing in Christine’s lap.

“You bet I am,” Dominic wriggled his eyebrows and then moved around the table swiftly to smooch Sean’s cheek.

“Thanks for the flowers,” Sean said amused and looked at his wife with embarrassment.

Christine just smiled as Dominic gave her a hand kiss and lifted Alexandra up in his arms. “Well, why wouldn’t I be? Life is bloody awesome, isn’t it, Princess?”

“Bloody awesome!” Alexandra repeated with a happy giggle.

Sean rolled his eyes and sighed. “Oh, great Dom. Why don’t you teach my daughter some more British swearwords?”

Dominic gave the little girl back to Christine who just grinned at him. “With these guys as adopted uncles, I guess it’s inevitable,” she remarked. 

“So, what would you love to do for an outdoor activity?” Orlando asked after Dominic sat down across from Elijah. “Bungee-jumping, snow boarding, motorbike riding…”

“Surfing!” Dominic suggested and looked straight at Elijah. “You ever surfed before, Lij?” 

Elijah shook his head and pulled a grimace. ”Nope, but that’s what I was thinking as well. It’s better than throwing yourself off some bridge just with a rope around your legs.” 

“You’ve never surfed?” Orlando asked with disbelief. “You live in LA, what the bloody hell are you doing all day long?”

“What, have _you_ ever been surfing?” Billy asked and Orlando shook his head regretfully. “Awesome! So, none of us has ever surfed before and has absolutely no clue. Let’s do it,” he laughed.

“Well, I would go bungee-jumping,” Sean said rather matter-of-factly and Christine wasn’t the only one who was looking at him like he had two heads. 

“You?” she gasped. “You would go bungee-jumping?”

“Yeah, you?” Dominic frowned and filled his coffee cup. “Mr. Safety himself?” 

Sean just shrugged and crossed his arms, looking like a little boy who wanted to prove to his parents that he was old enough to do something very grown up. “Yes, why not? I might also go for a motorbike ride. I may be a married man and a father, but I still know how to have fun. No offense, honey,” he winked at Christine. 

Dominic and Elijah grinned at each other, both thinking exactly the same. Sean probably thought he needed to prove to everyone that he could be more than the family guy who occasionally went to a pub with them. He was in a different situation after all. He had a wife and a little child who had both come with him to New Zealand. Elijah, Dominic, Billy and Orlando were all single and carefree guys and they thoroughly enjoyed their free-time with one another. And despite having found love with each other, Dominic and Elijah were determined to keep up the “just friends”-façade and not to act any differently than usually. Sean seemed to find it rather difficult to spend time with the others during their leisure time. He must have often felt torn between his life as a married father and a friend to his cast-mates. Christine frequently told him to go and have fun with his pals, but more often than not he would feel too guilty and responsible to really do that. So, now he apparently wanted to show that there was more to him.

“Okay,” Orlando said now and looked at Sean in a rather challenging way. “You and I first go on a relaxed motorbike tour and then I wanna see you bungee-jump. And not just me, I bet.”

“Not just you,” Elijah put his elbow on the table and leaned his chin on his palm. “Make sure to double-check the rope, Sean,” he winked.

“You can count on that,” Sean grinned back.

Dominic smiled, but sighed inwardly as he observed Sean’s and Elijah’s interaction. He didn’t even want to think about what might happen if Sean found out about Elijah and him. Movies, filming and his role meant everything to him, right next to his family of course. Sure he’d list them a hundred reasons why their relationship would not only endanger the Lord of the Rings, but also their careers. And even though he might be right, Dominic could do without the lecturing. Elijah had come back to him on his own, without any pressuring or persuading. He had made his choice and that choice was Dominic. No one would ever know, except for Billy whom they could trust 100 percent. Everyone would always consider them nothing but best friends and why not? They all were a rather touchy-feely bunch and if certain rumors might come up one day, they’d certainly involve them all. Orlando had found a striking admiration for Viggo, Dominic and Billy would often exchange affectionate glances, slap each other’s butts or make gay remarks, especially if the cameras were rolling. Dominic’s and Elijah’s behavior was probably the most subtle one. And that had been during the phase where they had actually been nothing more than best friends. They needed to keep up the subtlety if they wanted to protect their blossoming relationship. It would be hard to act like nothing was going on in public. Hell, it was already hard enough right now, just sitting here at the breakfast table, in a hotel lounge, with their friends around them when all Dominic wanted to do was pull Elijah into his lap, kiss him and never let him go again. So, instead he leaned back in his chair and stretched out one leg under the table until he touched Elijah’s feet. Elijah looked up and smiled, but Dominic could see how hard he was trying not to blush.

Eventually, breakfast was finished and everyone got up. Elijah and Dominic waited until the others walked towards the exit, then Dominic moved around the table. 

“Hey, everything okay?” he murmured quietly, leaning in a little.

“Yes, and with you?” Elijah whispered, resisting the urge to take a look around to check that no one was eavesdropping. 

“Yeah,” Dominic said and briefly looked at the floor. It almost scared him how much he wanted to touch Elijah at this very moment, let alone kiss him, but it was impossible. “Uhm, you wanna come over tonight? Watch some TV, listen to music or something?” he asked as he looked up again and Elijah nodded with a smile. 

“Absolutely.”

Dominic suddenly felt like a little boy again waiting for Christmas. Burying his hands in his jeans pockets, he struggled not to hug Elijah and twirl him around right there and then. “Great. God…I miss you already, Lijah…”

Elijah’s smile widened, but when he spotted Billy standing at the exit, obviously waiting for them, he quickly reminded himself to keep control. Billy just waved briefly and smiled gently before turning away. What the fuck, he already knows anyway, Elijah thought.

And he did, indeed. As soon as Dominic had entered the breakfast lounge, Billy knew that something must have finally happened between his two best mates. The depressed and miserable creature from the past days was gone and his best mate Dom was back. Which could only mean one thing…

Billy decided to wait outside. He felt like an intruder and that was strange enough. When Dominic and Elijah came out after a few more minutes, their faces still held their happy glow.

“Hey,” Billy said. “Everything alright again between you two?”

“More than alright,” Dominic smiled at Elijah and Billy sighed with relief.

“Thank God. It’s been horrible watching you two these days.” Then he turned rather withdrawn as he continued. “So uhm…you…I mean…you really…”

“Please Billy,” Elijah said with a pleading voice. “No word to anyone, least of all Sean.”

“Hey, of course not,” Billy assured and then folded his arms while shaking his head with a smirk. “You two…I can’t bloody believe it…”

“You’re not the only one,” Dominic said with a shy smile.

“You know what could happen if this comes out, yes?”

“Yes, we do,” Elijah said in a nervous but hard tone. “That’s why no one may ever know. And we’re not exactly going to shout it from the rooftops. It’s nobody’s business anyway.”

Dominic smiled at Elijah’s, probably unconscious, reciting of his own words from Lake Te Anau.

“Well, what can I say, I’m happy for you,” Billy finally said with a smile before hugging them. “And I wish you all the best.”

 

~**~

 

The TV was on, but they didn’t pay any attention. Dominic was sitting on the sofa in his hotel room, his legs stretched out on the coffee table. Elijah’s legs were draped over his lap and Dominic’s arms tightly around him as they both were immersed in a slow and lazy kiss. With a blind movement Elijah’s fingers found their way up and behind Dominic’s head where they gently stroked the dark-blonde hair. Dominic ran his hands up and down Elijah’s back, but kept them discreetly above the surface. There was no need to do anything else at the moment. They had only just found their way to each other and right now kissing and caressing was all they needed. At least when they were together. Dominic could feel his body react and respond to the soft intimacy, but he would take care of that later. Just as he had always done during the past weeks. The last thing he wanted was to make Elijah feel pressured into something he wasn’t ready for yet. 

After a while Elijah broke the kiss, but his face remained close to that of his boyfriend. Boyfriend…I have a boyfriend…Jesus, I’m not dreaming, am I?

“Hmm…I’ve never kissed like this,” he said, his fingers playing with strands of Dominic’s hair. “Not really. How am I?” he asked with an indolent grin. Dominic couldn’t help but stare at those lightly swollen and damp lips which built an even stronger contrast to the pale skin of Elijah’s face. 

“A natural talent,” he purred, ripping his gaze away from Elijah’s mouth and leading it to the big blue eyes. “Just like your acting, but even more beautiful.”

Elijah kept on smiling, feeling completely at ease with the world for the first time in a while. This day had been incredibly hard. After breakfast the hobbits and Orlando had been to town, checking out a few bars and cafes. Viggo had joined them after his Sunday afternoon sword training. Elijah had stayed close to Dominic and he had caught himself a couple of times reaching for Dominic’s hand, but before something could happen he remembered where he was and, above all, who they were with. Sean and Christine had been holding hands all the time. How unfair. How fucking unbelievably unfair. But the evening was worth the waiting and longing. Behind closed doors no one could judge them and no one could harm them.

“I bet you’re a natural talent when it comes to surfing as well,” Dominic said as one of his hands left Elijah’s back to tuck a strand of hair behind Elijah’s ear. “And I can’t wait to see you in a tight wet-suit,” he added, playfully wiggling his eyebrows. 

Elijah chuckled. “Why? It’s not like I’m Mr. Universe with my baby boy body.”

Dominic gasped in a mocking manner, looking like he had just heard the most unbelievable story ever. “Are you bloody kidding me? Your body couldn’t be any more perfect. Firm and soft in all the right places…,” he trailed off as he let his hand slide down Elijah’s t-shirt clad back again. “Almost like a girl’s body, just…well…in a male form,” he grinned cheekily and Elijah cocked his head. His curiosity had awoken. 

“Really? What’s so fascinating about a woman’s body, Dom? You must know.”

Dominic laughed amused and shook his head. How could Elijah be so worldly and sophisticated in so many ways, but so adorably innocent in others? “You know, the most striking reason is right here,” he placed his hand on Elijah’s chest. “Or well, the two most striking reasons. Men simply love breasts. They’re firm but soft and they stir the old baby instincts. I think it reminds them of when they were still little babies sucking on their mums’ breasts and it makes them feel secure. They never attracted you? Not one bit?”

Elijah shrugged and looked down. “I don’t know. Not really. I don’t get the fascination, you know.”

“Hmm, what do you think about Liv?”

“Liv?” Elijah looked up and smiled as enthusiasm seized him. “She’s great. Nice, down-to-earth and all…oh, we had a very interesting conversation the other day about Aerosmith and various rock stars that she grew up with. Man…having Steven Tyler as your father must be a fucking blast.”

The laughter that came from Dominic was not really what Elijah had expected. “What?” he frowned.

“You know,” Dominic giggled and placed his forefinger on Elijah’s lips. “There’s no doubt anymore. You _are_ gay.” Then he replaced his finger with his mouth and Elijah understood. Liv Tyler, the gorgeous Elvin woman that all men swarmed around. And all she evoked were Elijah’s friendship and his music interest…

This time it was Dominic who broke the kiss. “Well…good for me. I can’t lose you to half the world’s population.” The seriousness of Elijah’s response took him a little by surprise.

“Never…never ever…”

They watched TV for a while until Elijah found it was time to go. They’d have feet again in the morning which meant getting up at 4:30. Dominic led him to the door and gave him a final hug. “See you tomorrow, Lij. I love you.”

Elijah leaned into the embrace, reluctant to leave. He wanted to stay here forever, on this very couch, with Dominic’s arms around him. No movies, no schedules, no responsibilities. “I love you, too.”

Then Dominic was alone again. How empty a hotel room could be from one minute to the next. And already he missed the soft warmth of Elijah’s body against his own. As he moved into the bathroom, something below crept back into his consciousness. The inevitable result of such shared intimacy. Sighing and closing his eyes for a moment, Dominic decided that a shower before bed would be the best option. The talk about Elijah’s enticing body compared to a woman’s curves had left Dominic quite restless. He knew it was way too early for them to take the next step already. Sooner or later they would go there, but right now there was no way. All that he had was Elijah’s image in his mind…and his own right hand. Enough to release himself. 

Taking off his shirt and his sweatpants, Dominic stepped into the shower. The warm water poured all over his tense body, but didn’t really ease the pressure. He took a look down. His semi-erect penis stood out from between his wet pubic hair. Reaching down, he took hold of the shaft and gave it a few long strokes. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the cold tiles of the shower wall. And as always in a situation like this, Elijah’s face was visible in front of his inner eyes. The breathtaking eyes, the defined nose, the plump lips that he had grown to love kissing…and the sound of his voice was in his ears. 

Dominic’s cock hardened even more in his hand and he groaned quietly while the water and his building pleasure warmed his body. He briefly wondered if Elijah was doing the same at this very moment. Had he ever done it at all? Sure, he must have. Like every other guy growing up, but probably not more. They had never talked about this subject, but Dominic knew it was very likely that Elijah was a virgin. The way he was talking about his mysterious relationship when he had been 16…there was no way he would have gone further with that girl even if he had wanted to. In any case Elijah was a virgin with gay sex. And Elijah didn’t have to tell him how nervous and scared he was at the prospect of actually doing it. Dominic swore to himself that, when the time would come eventually, he’d do everything to make it as beautiful and relaxed as he could for Elijah. For he also knew that once they had made love for the first time, they’d be even more connected than they already were. Dominic longed for that day like nothing else. Being as close to Elijah as he could, their bodies united as one, lost in the pleasure they were giving each other…oh, how he was longing for that. But only when Elijah was ready. That was the most important thing. 

His cock twitched and throbbed in his stroking hand and Dominic swallowed hard, the back of his head pressing against the wall. He squeezed the pulsating flesh a little harder and the tingle in his testicles made him moan louder. His thumb rubbed the leaking slit of his penis. The climax was close. His breathing became faster and faster and more and more erratic. With a few final strokes he brought himself to orgasm, Elijah’s name on his lips and his image in his head. Dominic was standing like this for a couple of minutes, panting and tingling and with his eyes closed. The water washed his seed away and his cock grew limp. Then he switched off the water and stepped out of the shower. He sighed.

Another lonely night lay ahead of him.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

The white Suzuki motorbike sure looked like it had been on more than a couple of trips and although, or more because, it was a rental bike, Orlando tended to it like it was his very own. Checking the cycle over one last time, he smiled contently. He loved this, in fact, all sorts of adventure sports and activities, and today was a rather exciting day. Sean had joined him on one of his motorbike tours through the Queenstown area and he had turned out to be a pretty skilled rider. Orlando had never quite felt the same connection with Sean that he had felt with the other hobbits, but after their trip he began to change his mind. After Sean’s declaration a few days before the young Brit had never expected it to be this much fun. But Sean could be fun, if he wanted to.

“Hey, ready to go?” Orlando, who had just knelt down to check the tires, looked up at the sound of the voice. Slowly but securely Sean came up to him, pushing his motorbike which was exactly the same model as Orlando’s. Just a little cleaner.

“Ready,” Orlando stood up and wiped his hands with an old, grimy piece of cloth. “Nervous already?” he asked with a grin and Sean waved him off. 

“Couldn’t be any more relaxed,” he lied. He would never admit it, but he had cursed himself more than once after that breakfast talk. Bungee-jumping…what the fuck!? It wasn’t really the height that had him worried. The hundred things that could go wrong. The cord could break. His spine could get damaged. The river could sweep him away…But on the other hand, millions of jumpers had survived so far, so why should he be the unlucky one? Orlando seemed to read his mind and grinned again.

“Ah, don’t worry. It’s really safe. And besides, you’re not Samwise. You could still swim to the shore.”

“Ha, very funny, Orli,” Sean didn’t quite manage to hide his nervousness in his laughter. And it didn’t really help when Billy came out of the hotel in the very same moment, his hands in his pockets and a wide smirk on his face.

“Nice day for taking a swim in the river, isn’t it?”

Orlando laughed at Sean’s rolling eyes.

“It’s wonderful to have such considerate colleagues,” Sean snickered and swung himself onto his motorbike. Billy leaned his back against Viggo’s car. They had gathered in the hotel parking lot that was occupied mainly by film crew cars. The weather was unusually sunny for a late November day in Queenstown and thank God it was. Billy wasn’t sure if Sean would have really done it otherwise. The sliding door moved once more and out came Viggo, Dominic and Elijah. Viggo checked his camera while Dominic and Elijah grinned at Sean. 

“Hey, Sean. In case something happens, do I inherit your DVD collection?” Dominic asked and covered his cheeky eyes with a pair of shades.

“Do I inherit your CDs?” Elijah giggled, shoving his glasses on to his nose. 

“Ah, just kidding!” Dominic said as he saw Sean’s expression. “It’ll be a blast. Wish I was as brave as you.”

Viggo opened the door of his car on the driver’s side and put his camera in a safe place. “We better get going if we wanna be back for dinner with Pete,” he said in his typically calm tone. Orlando and Sean would go by motorbike, but the other hobbits would drive with Viggo. Christine was already on her way with Alexandra in the Astin family vehicle.

Billy opened the passenger seat door. “I think I’ll join you at the front today, Vig,” he said and threw Dominic and Elijah a knowing glance. His friends glanced back and Dominic nodded briefly and with a grateful smile. Billy had truly made things much easier for them so far as he always seemed to know when and where Dominic and Elijah could spend some extra quality time together in public, even if it was just during a short trip in a car. Still Dominic couldn’t help but feel sorry for his best mate since he knew sharing the secret with Elijah and him was anything but easy and put a lot of pressure on him. But if it was bothering Billy, he didn’t show it. Their friendship hadn’t changed in the least, on the contrary, it felt like they had grown even closer and their bond had become even tighter. Maybe Billy’s inexperience with the international movie business, with Hollywood in particular, made him see things less seriously than they were. Of course Billy was aware of the fact that Dominic’s and Elijah’s relationship might cause a huge scandal, but for some reason he seemed to handle this knowledge in a more relaxed manner than they themselves did. Especially Elijah. 

Dominic let Elijah slide into the backseat first before joining him. Viggo started the engine and pulled the car onto the main street, following the two motorbikes out of town. Dominic casually draped his arm on the backrest of the seat, his fingers discreetly stroking the back of Elijah’s head. Elijah closed his eyes and leaned back against the soft touch, glad that he was sitting behind Viggo. A light smile lay on his face. The past few days had probably been the most exciting days of his life and it had nothing to do with filming The Lord of the Rings. His personal life had changed in the course of just a few short weeks and now here he was. Grown up, more self-confident, at ease with the past and open for the future, whatever it may have in store for him. Whether the movies would be a huge flop or a blockbuster hit no one could tell, but no matter what, Elijah hoped that the wonderful man next to him would be there with him. And that hope was all he had to hold on to.

It was a 20 minute drive from Queenstown to the A.J. Hackett Kawarau Bungy Center, the world’s first commercial bungee site. Elijah gripped the iron railing of the viewing platform tightly as he risked a glance over the edge at the Kawarau River which was running between perpendicular rocky walls in this spot. As he looked up again, he could see the bungee ropes swinging in the air, attached to the platform on the rusty-red bridge that span across the river. The viewing platform was off to the side of the bridge, so you could have a direct view at the jumpers.

“Fuck me…,” Elijah gasped and quickly looked away from the dizzying sight. “That’s so sick. Why would anyone jump down there voluntarily?”

Orlando, who was casually leaning against the railing on his right side, laughed. “It’s not like you’d commit suicide, Lij. It’s what happens with your entire body and what rushes through it the moment you leap. You know, the adrenaline and everything, it’s indescribable.”

Pulling a clove out of his pack, Elijah lit it and took a deep drag. As always he could rely on the soothing smoke to make him feel a little calmer. He shook his head and looked at the bridge once more. “How high is it?”

“43 meters, said the sign at the front,” Dominic said next to him. His arms rested on the banister with his hands folded as if he was immersed in a prayer. Ha, truly the right place and the right time to pray, Elijah thought not without amusement.

Suddenly a hand touched his shoulder and, his body already tensed up, Elijah winced but quickly relaxed when he noticed it was Viggo. The older man raised his camera and took a couple of photos. As usual he was radiating a calmness that automatically affected everyone around him.

“This could almost be considered a certain form of art,” Viggo remarked seriously, without the slightest hint of joking.

Dominic looked at him briefly and chuckled. “You’re totally nuts, Vig,” he said before turning his gaze back at the bridge. His eyes narrowed. “If Sean really pulls this off, he’ll have my complete and utter respect.”

Orlando gasped and crossed his arms, looking like a pouting little child. “Hey, I already did it a few times. Don’t I have your respect, too?”

Exhaling his smoke, Elijah giggled. “It wasn’t exactly surprising that  _you_ did it. You’re not Mr. Safe and Sound.”

The subject of their conversation stepped up right behind them and cleared his throat, making everyone turn around. Sean did look a little paler than usual and he was wringing his hands, but those were the only outer signs of his nervousness. Billy had an arm around his shoulders and Christine was holding his hand. Alexandra was clutching her teddy bear, obviously not understanding what her daddy was about to do.

“It’s my turn in a minute,” Sean smiled, looking at everyone. “So, sit back and enjoy the show.”

Elijah dropped his cigarette and stubbed it out, then he took a long look at Sean. Sean, who was ten years older than him, who had grown up in Hollywood and now had a family of his own. Sean, who had become one of his best friends here which had been sort of inevitable due to their close roles. And despite their occasional squabbling when one of the other guys would poke fun at Sean’s overly obsessive responsibility and safety issues, they all still remained friends. Elijah already had lots of respect for Sean. Jumping off a bridge on a bungee rope wasn’t exactly his condition for respect for someone. Of course Sean could be a little difficult sometimes, but who wasn’t in this business? There were less egocentric people and more egocentric people. If you weren’t at least a little bit self-absorbed, you were definitely in the wrong business. The range of the Lord of the Rings cast included total newcomers and old movie star legends, but none of them was in the category “stuck-up diva”. At least not yet. Maybe that would change as they had still a year of principal photography ahead of them.

Elijah pulled Sean into a hug. “Have fun,” he said and smiled encouragingly.

Sean smiled back. “You too,” he winked. Then he was called and he turned around, entering the bridge all by himself, only accompanied by members of the staff. 

The others gathered at the railing again. Elijah was sure his heart was beating just as wildly as Sean’s certainly was right now. He glanced at the streaming river again. If you shut out the bridge with its frightening bungee site, the landscape was amazing. Why, if course. It was New Zealand. Water. Blue water sparkling in the sunshine. Elijah would forever connect that image with Lake Te Anau and how the place gave his life a completely new direction. He wished they could go back there again, but the near future wouldn’t allow it. The filming schedule was stuffed before their Christmas holiday and in January they would all return to the North Island. The warm body next to him was still there and Elijah moved a little closer until his arm came in contact with another one. Dominic smiled, but kept looking at the bridge, just as Elijah did.

Sean’s heart was indeed beating wildly as a staff member attached the cord to his feet and repeated the important instructions. The people on the viewing platform looked tiny and the river beneath him scary yet breathtaking. Literally breathtaking. The Kawarau River would also serve as the river Anduin as well as the location for the Pillars of the Kings. Is there any spot in New Zealand the film crew does not use, Sean thought as he hopped towards the edge of the wooden platform. He knew his mind was racing as much as his heart was and musing over filming locations was just a way to distract himself. He closed his eyes briefly before glancing over the edge. The staff member next to him counted to 3 and before he realized what he was doing, Sean launched himself into the abyss.

“Oh my God!” Elijah covered his eyes with one hand, but peeked through the space between his parted fingers. Orlando was cheering and yelling and Viggo was taking more photos, but Elijah, Dominic and Billy could only stare as the cord was stretching until Sean almost touched the surface of the water, but kept bouncing back up. It was a scary sight to Elijah, but Sean seemed to be having fun, judging from the roars of elation he emitted. Gradually he stopped bouncing and a little yellow boat approached to retrieve him.

Elijah fumbled another cigarette out of his pack.

Dominic grinned at him. “You’re suffering more than he is,” he chuckled and placed a friendly arm around his shoulders. Taking a puff, Elijah formed an embarrassed smile and Dominic squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe this will make him stop worrying about everyone and everything.” And then he lowered his voice some more, so only Elijah could hear him. “Including us,” he added quietly and Elijah’s head jerked around. Staring at him with big, confused eyes, the younger man looked more frightened than Dominic had seen him in a while. What the fuck, Elijah thought, what’s that about? But he couldn’t ask. Not here, not now. Shit…He took another nervous drag. 

Dominic pulled his arm back. Damn, why did he have to bring it up now? He knew it would only make Elijah anxious and they couldn’t clear it up yet. They’d have to wait until they could return to the hotel. 

“That was awesome!” Sean’s radiant voice made them turn around. He was grinning and lifted his thumb. “I didn’t even see my life flash before my inner eyes.”

Dominic was the first one to give him a hug. “Respect, man,” he said, patting his back and then Sean was embraced by everyone. He didn’t show it, but deep inside he was cheering. He wasn’t Mr. Boring and Hollywood after all. And he had proved it.

 

~**~

 

The door closed and Elijah leaned against it, his hands folded behind his back. He watched Dominic walking up and down through his hotel room, his body looking all tensed up. Elijah waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. 

“Dom…?” he started, swallowing hard. “He…he doesn’t know, does he? I mean…”

Dominic stopped his steady pace and looked up abruptly. His eyes said it all. “No! Of course he doesn’t. But…,” he trailed off again and sighed, lowering himself into an armchair. Briefly rubbing his face, he looked at Elijah who was still standing at the door. “This is even harder than I thought it would be,” he muttered and shook his head. 

Elijah had a clue what was going on. In fact, he felt the very same, but he knew it was impossible. Slowly letting go of the door, he moved through the room and crouched down in front of Dominic’s seat. His eyes held an understanding, yet scared look. 

“You…you don’t wanna hide it anymore. Do you?”

Dominic just stared at him, his hands scratching his lightly stubbly chin. Taking a deep breath, he sighed once more and shook his head. “There’s a  _huge_ difference between what I want and what would be best for us. This acting like nothing’s going on, like we’re nothing but friends…it’s so bloody hard. I hate it that we always have to be careful how to act and how to look at each other and what to say.”

Elijah felt a lump form in his throat. He did feel exactly the same. They hadn’t even really started yet and already the first problem arose. It was so fucking unfair.

“I know,” he said and reached for Dominic’s hand. “But we don’t have a choice, Dom. If we come out, we’ll be screwed. And…,” Fuck, he wasn’t going to cry. There was no reason. Everything would be okay. Dominic had said he would never let him go again now that he had him. “I don’t want to lose you,” he added in a quiet yet teary tone that made Dominic quickly pull him up and into his lap.

“Hey, don’t…,” he wrapped his arms around Elijah’s frame, holding him against his chest. “That won’t happen, you hear me? Never.”

But what were they supposed to do? Fuck…why did everything always have to be so damn complicated? Elijah stared ahead into nothingness as his hands tightened their hold on Dominic’s shirt. His thoughts were racing, all different kinds of scenarios whirling around in his mind. Of course he hated the hiding, of course he would love to act normal in public, without struggling to cover up what was between them. But there was no way. Was there?

“You think Sean would accept it?” he finally asked, but his eyes kept staring ahead. “They all would accept it? You don’t think that, do you? And even if they did, if they know, then the rest of the crew will know before we realize what’s happening and one of them won’t be so accepting. And then the press will know and New Line and everyone….”

A tender finger under his chin made him look up and Dominic’s almond-eyes met his anxious blue ones.

“I’m sorry,” Dominic said quietly, a tinge of sadness and regret in his voice. “You’re right. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. It’s just…you know, I never had to do this before. Hide my feelings because they might destroy a huge movie franchise and endanger careers. Not just mine, but also yours.”

“I know…,” Elijah raised his hand up to Dominic’s face, his eyes equally miserable and remorseful. He sighed and traced the other man’s cheek with his forefinger, almost looking absentminded. “They’re such a bunch of hypocrites. They’re probably all gay themselves, all the rich Hollywood bosses and producers and casting directors, and they dictate others how to live. Well, who can blame them? If the rest of the world isn’t ready for gay leading actors yet, then why should they hire them, huh?”

Smiling gently, Dominic’s took Elijah hand into his own and kissed the tip of the now idle finger. “Some day they will be ready, Lijah. And then they’ll be able to look at the person’s personality and his abilities, instead of judging his sexuality.”

Elijah’s eyes were fixed on Dominic’s as he thought about his words. Some day…some day the world would be evolved enough to give everyone the freedom they desired and deserved. Some day…and Elijah hoped, from the bottom of his very heart, that Dominic would still be the one by his side then.

“I love you, Dom,” he whispered. Dominic’s fingers linked with his as he slowly leaned in, whispering back.

“I love you too, baby.”

Their lips met in a soft and warm kiss, and everything else didn’t matter anymore in that very moment. Eventually they pulled apart and just remained sitting like that, joined in a tight embrace. Dominic in the armchair, leaning back and his arms locked around Elijah’s upper body, Elijah in his lap and his face pressed against his lover’s neck. Silence engulfed them, the fading daylight slowly dipping the room into darkness. Both of them knew what this meant. Another day of filming lay ahead, another day full of intense work, busy schedules and hectic people. Another day of pretending, but also another evening that they would spend retreated into their hotel rooms where they could be themselves and nothing but themselves. Immersed in each other and following their hearts instead of their minds.

Turning his head a tad bit, Dominic placed his mouth directly over Elijah’s ear. “Stay with me tonight,” he whispered and for a moment he didn’t know if Elijah had heard him or not. Had he fallen asleep in his arms? But after a few more seconds Elijah moved and lifted his head. Big blue eyes looked at him as Dominic could see the struggle behind those beautiful orbs. Quickly he smiled reassuringly.

“It’s alright, Lij. We won’t do anything. I…I just want you to lie next to me tonight…please…”

Dominic’s heart was racing as he waited for Elijah to say something. When he finally heard the words, uttered from that perfect and endearing mouth, he could hardly hide his joy.

“I want that, too.”

He didn’t know how anyone could feel so happy just because another person would lie next to him at night, but Dominic didn’t feel merely happy. He felt truly and utterly blessed. The line of lonely dark hours would end tonight. Elijah would be just a few inches away as they were sleeping in the very same bed. Beside each other.

They briefly said good-bye to each other as Elijah headed back to his room to get changed and Dominic slipped into a pair of sweatpants and a muscle shirt. Hesitating for a moment, he wondered if maybe he should put on something more covering like a simple t-shirt. But then again, why should he? He was in love with Elijah, and Elijah was in love with him. How it was possible that Elijah actually returned his feelings was still beyond him, but he did, and that’s what mattered. While he was standing in front of his bathroom mirror, brushing his teeth and studying his reflection, Dominic’s mind painted vivid images of the night ahead. What would it be like, having Elijah sleep in the very same bed? They had never even slept in the same room before, it was just known among the Fellowship that Elijah was able to sleep anywhere, at anytime. Did he have any “bedtime rituals”? Did he snore? Did he toss and turn a lot during his sleep? It was all those little things that made Dominic curious and look forward to their first night together as it was not just a simple matter of sleeping next to each other. It was another step in their young relationship and would eventually tighten their bond and make it even stronger.

Elijah emerged again after ten minutes, dressed in an old t-shirt and a pair of boxers. Normally he would have been mindful that no one caught a glimpse at him disappearing into Dominic’s room like this, but not tonight. He doubted that anyone would have cared or even checked if he would come out again. The sudden realization hit him and he couldn’t help but feel a little bit proud of himself. He had overcome the fear that anyone might jump to conclusions and assumptions, even if Dominic and he were just walking next to each other. The paranoia was slowly but surely vanishing and Elijah could only see this as a good sign. Another step in his personal development. Yes, definitely a good sign.

Pulling back the blanket, Dominic lay down on the mattress and smiled invitingly at Elijah who had come to stand just a few meters away. His eyes held a mixture of hesitation, happiness, longing, but also a hint of nervousness. Dominic leaned up on his elbow and nodded at the empty spot next to him.

“Come on in, I don’t bite,” he said still smiling, and then added in a lower and teasing tone, “Unless you want me to.”

Finally a smile spread on Elijah’s face and he stepped towards the bed, first sitting down on the edge and placing his glasses on the nightstand an then lying down on his back. As he looked up at the ceiling, the former look of anxiety was back, but just for a split second. Everything’s okay, Elijah told himself. It’s Dom who is lying next to you. The very same Dom you’ve grown close to like no one else. Dom who you’ve fallen in love with. And who would never do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. Turning his head, Elijah pulled his gaze away from the ceiling and his eyes met Dominic’s loving and caring face that was smiling down at him.

“Everything alright?” Dominic asked as he draped the blanket over both of them. Elijah turned his entire body until he was lying on his side facing him. He nodded. Dominic got into the same position, his eyes never losing contact with the pair of penetrating blue ones. In the semi-darkness of the room Elijah’s eyes looked bigger and shinier than they already were in the brightest daylight and his skin appeared to be paler and more delicate. The alluring lips built the ever-present contrast to the smooth pastiness of his face, but they suddenly seemed to attract Dominic even more than usual. Elijah’s breathing was calm, but not very deep, as if he was afraid to take a normal breath. The window which was open a crack allowed the cool and pleasant night air to fill the room.

“I still can’t believe Sean really did it,” Elijah finally whispered. He felt like even the lightest mumble might ruin the atmosphere and he enjoyed it way too much to let that happen. “I felt sick just looking down at that river.”

“Yeah,” Dominic whispered back. “That was some show, huh? I take it you’d never do something like that?” he grinned and Elijah emitted a short hissing sound.

“Not in a million fucking years. I know they say smoking kills you slowly, but rather that than falling to your death.” He paused briefly, then he continued, “And Sean wasn’t as cool as he pretended to be. I bet he was shit-scared as always when something could possibly go wrong. But I think he needed this to prove he’s not just Mr. Worried all the time.”

Dominic nodded in the darkness. “I know, there’s more to him than that. He can’t just let go and do whatever he wants with us, you know, because he has a family here. I have the impression that he wants to, but he can’t because he’s got this responsibility and not just for his family. I think he does feel responsible for you, too, Lij.”

Biting on an abused fingernail, Elijah contemplated the words. “He does. I’m really fond of him, Dom. He’s like a big brother to me. But I wonder if our friendship is tight enough for him to accept me the way I am. If he knew about you and me. It’s a big part me now. But I think it’s most important that my family accepts it before any other people do.”

Dominic smiled in the dimness and reached for Elijah’s currently not bitten fingers underneath the blanket. “From what you’ve told me about your mum and your siblings, I’m sure they won’t have a problem with it.”

“How did your parents react when you told them that you were…well…into both genders?” Elijah asked and stopped chewing on his nails. Dominic’s fingers were gently stroking his hand and Elijah felt himself falling in love even more with this guy who was lying beside him, but also with the somewhat intimate moment.

“It wasn’t really that much of a huge thing,” Dominic explained, his fingers now intertwining with Elijah’s. “I didn’t make a great fuss about it or some big coming out session or something. I just didn’t think it was such a big deal. My dad was a little puzzled first and asked lots of questions, but he quickly came around to accept it. And my mum immediately sat me down and told me everything I needed to know concerning all the health issues, you know since she’s a nurse. But I think every mum is like that when she learns that her teenage offspring starts to show interest in relationships. And my brother didn’t really seem to care. But you know, there’s a big difference between you and me. I was anything but a successful and famous actor. I was still in college and no one knew me. You’re a famous actor and a star, whether you wanna hear it or not,” he chuckled quietly.

“Yeah,” Elijah sighed, his teeth continuing the abuse of his nails. “Maybe I’ll have a talk with them when I’m at home again during the holiday break. It’s almost Christmas time, so everyone’s supposed to be loving and peaceful, right?” he grinned despite his nervousness at the prospect of talking to his mother. She had always been more supportive than his father, but were her love and support enough to accept that her successful and promising Hollywood son was gay? He honestly didn’t know.

“Almost four weeks holiday break,” Elijah sighed again. “That will be anything but pleasant. We’ll phone every day, yes?”

Dominic smiled and squeezed his hand. When he spoke, his voice was dark and serious. “You can count on that. And you know, maybe you should grab the opportunity of New Years and make the resolution to quit smoking. I don’t want to see you die slowly. When did you start?”

“About two years ago,” Elijah said, knowing that Dominic was right of course. “Blame Josh Hartnett, he got me addicted.”

“Seriously?” Dominic raised an eyebrow. “What a bloody wanker,” he snorted and Elijah giggled.

“Nah, he’s very nice. But even nice people can corrupt innocent little boys like me,” he said, lowering his voice some more until it was just a purring tone.

“Mmm-mm, that’s right,” Dominic purred back and pulled Elijah’s hand away from his mouth, so he had to stop his nail biting again. Instead Dominic’s lips pressed against his and for a few minutes they drowned in the warmth of a loving kiss. And when Dominic broke it again, his face remained so close to Elijah’s that they could feel their breath against each other’s skin.

“So…,” Elijah whispered, the room now almost completely dark. “Would _you_ go bungee-jumping?”

“Nope. Too chicken, I admit,” Dominic said, his arm coming around Elijah’s waist and settling on his lower back where he started to caress the soft body through the fabric of the shirt. “I’m more looking forward to surfing. But knowing Orli, the bugger will probably get me a bungee jump coupon for my birthday.”

This time it was Elijah who raised an eyebrow in surprise. “It’s your birthday soon? When?”

“Yep, December 8th.”

The whispering was interrupted for the very first time as Elijah gasped and his voice became a little louder.

“Ah, so soon? Why didn’t you tell me?” He mumbled and lightly hit Dominic’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Dominic shrugged and smiled amused. “Didn’t really think of it. Are you planning to get me an extra special present?”

“Maybe,” Elijah grinned and then had to stifle a yawn. “Okay, I think we should better catch some sleep now. Long day tomorrow.”

Dominic left his hand on Elijah’s lower back and gently pulled him closer to him. Elijah didn’t contemplate much. Shifting a little more forward, he snuggled against Dominic’s body, his head resting on the rising and falling chest and his hand on the stomach. He could feel the rippling and defined muscles through the thin shirt and a strange yet familiar feeling suddenly seized him. The feeling of being at home. Dominic’s fingers never ceased their stroking motion and when he felt the touch of damp lips against his forehead, along with a lightly stubbly chin, Elijah’s wasn’t sure how he could leave this spot ever again. He closed his eyes and tried to think of a perfect birthday present for Dominic. What could you give the person you’ve just gotten together with? The first person you’ve ever fallen in love with and who had changed your life like no Hollywood career and movie job ever could? But he didn’t come very far. After a few minutes his breathing became deeper and deeper and he fell asleep.

But for Dominic that was no reason to stop his loving stroking movement against Elijah’s back. Not even when his own eyelids grew heavier and heavier. He wanted to stay awake and just enjoy this feeling. The feeling of having Elijah in his arms and holding him while he was sleeping peacefully. How he got this lucky, he had no idea, but he thanked whatever higher power had led them both this far and to this very special moment. After a while the stroking did stop, but Dominic’s arm didn’t fall away, nor did it loosen its hold as he fell asleep. It stayed around Elijah. Right where it belonged.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

**Chapter 10**

 

_December 8, 1999_

_Ahem. *clear throat* Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday, dear me-he, happy birthday to me! Ah, thank you. Well, 23 years. Am I really that old already? Almost 30! Okay uhm, where do I start? Probably by saying that I’m sure this will be the best birthday of my life. Yes, it will. It’s like starting all over, but everything will be so much better. There’s a new love in my life. No, it feels a million times better than love. I don’t know how to describe it…_

A loud knock on the door made Dominic look up from his diary and he put his pen down. It was more like forceful pounding and not just with one hand. The alarm clock on the bedside table read 4:30. Dominic smiled despite his sleepiness. Getting up from his bed and stretching his limbs, he briefly peeked through the spy-hole before opening the door. The noise that came from the small crowd in the corridor must have woken up the entire hotel staff if they weren’t awake already. Elijah, Billy, Sean, Orlando and Liv were standing on his doorstep, all singing “Happy birthday” in unison. Or rather yelling and giggling in between. Dominic clapped exaggeratedly enthusiastically when they were finished and stepped back to let them into his room. They were still staying at their Queenstown hotel and despite his special day, they had some filming to do today. But not for long, thank God.

“That was awesome,” Dominic cheered and only then he noticed the cake that Liv was holding in her hands. It looked like it was made entirely of chocolate and a large 23 made of cream was emblazoned on top. A circle of burning candles made the birthday cake complete.

Dominic cocked his head and his still empty stomach grumbled at the sight.

“Aww, you shouldn’t have…”

“No?” Orlando raised an eyebrow and then shrugged. “Okay, leaves more for the rest of us. Come here, Liv,” he smirked, but Liv groaned with protest.

“Forget it, greedy boy,” she said, holding on tightly to her cake plate. “You didn’t even raise a finger. I made it all by myself, well, with Elijah’s help.”

“Yeah, I took care of the candles and provided my lighter,” Elijah grinned and looked at Dominic excitedly. He was beaming like it was his own birthday. “Come on, blow them out and make a wish!” he urged and Dominic was amazed by how much he was looking like a thrilled little boy in that moment. Indeed Elijah was thrilled and excited, but not just because it was his lover’s birthday and he had become a year older. 23. Wasn’t that the perfect age? Where would he himself be at 23? January 2004. A month after The Return of the King would be released. Still so far ahead in the future, but so near at the same time. And Dominic would still be there. Yes, he would. They would still be with each other. Elijah couldn’t image it to be any other way. But today…today would hopefully end at a very special place. With only two guys, together and alone.

After a short but affectionate smile, Dominic took a deep breath and blew out the circle of candles, accompanied by the cheering of his friends. 

“Okay, I guess breakfast can be canceled today,” he chuckled as he placed the cake onto the living-room table and left to get a knife.

“Give me the biggest slice,” Sean demanded with a grin, patting his growing belly. “I still have a lot of weight to gain.” 

They all sat down around the table, Elijah on the large couch and trying not to look like he was keeping the spot next to him free for a certain person. When Dominic came back, he divided the cake and everyone took a slice. Then he lowered himself next to Elijah and smiled.

“Well, thanks for the lovely cake, Liv…Lij,” he nodded with a smile and Elijah smiled back, silently wondering what Dominic might have wished for. He thought he knew and he also knew that this wish would come true. Some day. He still couldn’t really picture it…or them in that particular situation and he mentally kicked himself as he felt a nervous feeling seize him. Here he was again, worrying about something he shouldn’t worry about, least of all not right now. Instead he munched on his piece of cake and leaned back, thinking about what was lying ahead once filming was over for the day.

“So, Dom. How does it feel being 23?” Billy asked as he swallowed the first bite. “And, above all, turning 23 during filming the Lord of the Rings? Not everyone gets to celebrate their birthday in New Zealand and on the set of an epic,” he added with a wink. 

Dominic gulped down his own first mouthful of cake. “Hmm…I do feel wiser and more mature in a way. And…definitely happier than I’ve ever been,” he said, glancing quickly at Elijah next to him, his smile still on his face. The younger man quickly looked down at the remaining piece of cake in his hands, hoping that his face wasn’t as red as he thought it must be.

“Then I know what I can look forward to next month,” Orlando giggled. Indeed, Orlando was just about a month younger than Dominic, but to Elijah it sometimes seemed like he was at least ten years younger. However it made Elijah like him even more. Orlando was like a big kid, always on the go, always active and animated. Dominic was like that as well, but there was also another side to him. A quiet, pensive and so loving side that only Elijah, and to a certain extent also Billy, had come to know so far. The funny entertainer was only one of the many faces of Dominic Monaghan.

They couldn’t enjoy the comforts of their nice and cozy gathering for very long since it was time for the hobbits to get ready for feet. Dominic got dressed quickly, hoping to catch Elijah once again before everyone was leaving. Quickly rushing into the corridor and to the door, he knocked quietly and smiled when a more than delighted Elijah pulled him inside.

“Happy birthday once again,” Elijah had time to say before Dominic’s lips claimed his in a searing kiss. The earlier tiredness was gone and Dominic felt like he could hug the whole world in this very moment.

“Hmm, so where is my present?” he asked in a mumble against Elijah’s moist lips and the younger guy’s mouth formed a secretive grin as he pulled back, but remained locked in Dominic’s arms.

“Later,” he said with a tilted head and a wink, giggling at Dominic’s mocking exasperated gasp.

“Later? Why not now? I’m still fresh and awake and unspoilt.”

“Well…,” Elijah put a particular emphasize on that word, like he was about to announce something extraordinary and spectacular. “It’s not here.”

Dominic smirked broadly and nodded briefly, like he knew exactly what Elijah really meant. “Oh yeah, I know. You don’t have anything yet, do you? You’re like Homer Simpson, forgetting all about Valentine’s Day and claiming the present is upstairs when in fact he doesn’t have anything, and then you just hear his footsteps rushing upstairs and out the window and then he jumps into his car to drive to the Kwik-E-Mart.”

Elijah just laughed at this random comparison and shook his head. “Nope, not everyone is like Homer Simpson, Dom. Truth is, I have it, but it’s not here. It’s a little too…uhm…too big, I’m afraid.”

“Too big?” Dominic raised his eyebrows in actual surprise. “What, bigger than this room?”

“Yes,” Elijah kept on grinning his secretive grin and grabbed his CD case, as he always did when they had feet so early in the morning. Someone needed to provide the necessary acoustic background, right? “A lot bigger.”

Crossing his arms, Dominic eyed him attentively. “Okay, now you really got me curious. A wee hint, pretty pretty please,” he pouted like a little boy, but Elijah only shook his head.

“You’ll find out. Later…,” he assured, enjoying this sort of superior position for some reason. Dominic, at his mercy. Hmm, what en endearing image.

“As you like it,” Dominic opened the door for Elijah to step out and then followed him. What the bloody hell could Elijah be up to? He really wanted to know, but he also didn’t want to know. He loved surprises, but sometimes he couldn’t quite keep his impatience and curiosity under control. With Elijah, however, it seemed to work better. This man had a hold on him that nobody else had and he made Dominic see sides about himself that he didn’t know he had. Just like when Elijah had told him that he had learnt so much from Dominic about himself that made him improve as a person. Could there be a better compliment in the world? He didn’t really think so.

 

~**~

 

Their post-filming destination was truly well worth the wait. Queenstown was located on the Northern shore of Lake Wakatipu, an 80 kilometers long, S-shaped glacial lake with a stunning mountain background on the Southeastern side. It was one of the most popular fishing areas, but also famous for its various adventure tourism, like paragliding or jet boating. So Viggo, Orlando, Sean Bean, Liv and the hobbits including Sean’s family drove to the small settlement of Frankton near Queenstown to celebrate Dominic’s birthday on the shores of the eye-catching lake. Viggo turned out to be a pretty skilled fisherman and declared himself their supplier for the day. Together with Sean Bean and Orlando he rented a boat and headed out onto the lake, promising them all a proper evening feast.

Elijah was standing on the shore, looking out at the small boat in the distance, in front of the mountain scene. He couldn’t be happier as he inhaled the fresh breeze and he was surprised that he hadn’t felt the urge to smoke yet. Everything about these surroundings was relaxing, though it wasn’t quite as relaxing as their special spot at Lake Te Anau. He smiled at the memory and what was lying ahead that Dominic didn’t know yet. What would be his reaction? Elijah just couldn’t wait to see his face. It was a little crazy and Elijah couldn’t quite believe he had really managed it, but he knew it would be worth it.

The sound of the waves, the birds and the wind in the trees took him back to the place of their very first kiss once more. As he was daydreaming like this, he didn’t notice Billy stepping up behind him until he heard his voice. 

“It was Orli.”

Elijah turned his head and frowned. “What was Orli?”

Billy ran a hand through his hair and chuckled quietly as he looked over at Liv who was soaking up the sun not too far away and having a chat with Sean and Christine.

“The fountain thing. Looks like Orlando couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”

Elijah gasped and crossed his arms, briefly focusing his eyes on the boat in the distance where he could barely make out Viggo, Sean and Orlando with their fishing gear.

“Orlando? Are you sure?” he asked as he looked at Billy again.

“Well, Liv said that Orli said that he had accidentally blabbed about it in Pete’s presence,” Billy appeared to be amused by the revelation and Elijah didn’t really blame him. It was an amusing story after all, even after Pete’s little outburst the following morning.

“What the fuck…so soon? Pete knew about it the next morning already,” Elijah scratched his chin and as he immediately tried to think of a hundred possibilities for a proper revenge. Deep inside he was glad though that the photos hadn’t had anything to do with it. That would have been embarrassing beyond words.

“I have no idea, mate,” Billy said, patting Elijah back gently and still with an amused grin. “But if you need someone to help you with the revenge, call me,” he winked.

Elijah shook his head, but smiled nonetheless. “Orli Orli, the big kid. We didn’t raise him properly, did we?”

Removing his arm from around Elijah, Billy laughed. “No, something went wrong. He’s hanging out with the wrong crowd maybe. Speaking of naughty, shameless lads, where’s our birthday child?”

“He said he would be right back and then disappeared into the bushes over there,” Elijah said as he nodded into said direction. That had been about ten minutes ago and if Dominic had gone there to quickly release his bladder, as Elijah supposed, then he should have been back by now. “Let’s go and look for him. Don’t want him to miss his entire birthday, huh?”

“Right,” Billy chuckled, burying his hands in his pockets and deciding to let Elijah go alone. His two mates hadn’t had much time yet to spend on their own on this day and Billy thought this might be a good chance for them. “Okay, you go and I’ll join Liv and the others for a while.”

Elijah was grateful for the opportunity and smiled appreciatively at Billy as he turned around and walked up the shoreline towards the row of trees and bushes. It was a rather warm day, just the beginning of the summer season, and Elijah thought that Dominic had probably never celebrated his birthday in summer before. What a weird circumstance for him. Elijah’s own birthday was at the end of January, in the middle of summer in New Zealand. Los Angeles had provided him with cool, very rainy, but sometimes also relatively mild birthday weather so far, but the next one would be truly extraordinary. Not just climate-wise.

“Lijaaah…,” Elijah jumped for a split second as suddenly a deep, hushed voice called for him from somewhere behind the bushes. The shock quickly subsided and he grinned to himself, trying to spot Dominic in between all the leaves.

“Lijah, come here…but carefully.” Elijah still couldn’t see him, so he just crouched down and began to crawl into the shrubs on all fours. At least the ground wasn’t muddy or grimy, just covered with dry sand and leaves. After pushing a few twigs and leaves to the side Dominic finally came into view. He was sitting cross-legged on the ground and his eyes were fixed on something, but Elijah couldn’t see what it was. Turning his head, Dominic smiled at him and reached out his hand. Elijah took it and Dominic pulled him right next to him.

“What are you doing here?” Elijah asked in a quiet mumbling tone, reluctant to speak any louder, partly because he didn’t want anyone to hear them, partly because Dominic seemed to be rather quiet and hushed himself. 

“Look,” Dominic pointed at something, but as Elijah followed his gaze, he could barely suppress a shriek by just clasping his hand over his mouth. His hand fell from his mouth to his chest where his heart was still pounding. 

“Fuck Dom, couldn’t you have warned me?” Despite the still lingering fright Elijah managed a smile as he looked at the object of Dominic’s attraction.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Dominic asked in a calm voice full of admiration that didn’t leave Elijah unaffected. To him the expression on Dominic’s face was almost more mesmerizing than what had caused it. 

“I guess,” he simply said as he pulled his eyes away from Dominic’s fascinated face. Between leaves and twigs a barely visible cobweb was spun just a few feet in front of them above the ground and when Elijah looked closely it struck him as somewhat odd. Then he realized what it was. Unlike other webs he had seen before, this one was built in a horizontal position. In the middle of the circle, a spider was hanging upside down. It was a funny sight and Elijah’s initial fear quickly vanished.

“It’s a horizontal orbweb spider,” Dominic explained quietly, like he was afraid to disturb the animal. “A very unusual and rare species which often builds its web near water. Came originally from Australia and then to New Zealand. It’s so fascinating to see it live and in person.”

Elijah’s eyes were now fixed on the little spider, Dominic noticed with a smile. He had expected the first scared reaction. It was always the same when he showed someone the beauty of bugs and insects, or at least tried to, but unlike many others, Elijah had quickly regained his composure and even showed interest. Different passions for different people. Dominic smiled at the thought. 

“Why’s the web like that?” Elijah asked as he studied the construction.

“Look at the body of the spider,” Dominic said and scooted a little closer, but not too close. “It’s not easy to see for the human eye, but it’s got a dark tummy which is hard to see from above, so birds are less likely to find it.”

Elijah followed Dominic and carefully peeked at the web from above. The spider was very small indeed, but Dominic’s words helped him imagine what it must look like for potential enemies coming from the sky.

“And it’s got a bright back, so it’s hard to see against the sky for insects that come from below,” Dominic leaned down and looked at the web from below, still mindful not to come into any contact with the fragile creation. “It’s very well camouflaged from both sides, but it needs to hang upside down for the colors to work. Nature should have given her a bright tummy and a dark back. But since it didn’t, she has to make the best of it and she exactly knows how.”

As Dominic looked up again, Elijah leaned down and took Dominic’s former perspective. Indeed, if the spider was sitting on top of her web and not hanging upside down, she would be easily visible for enemies and her prey.

“A clever fellow,” Elijah mumbled as he sat up again and Dominic nodded, his face still glowing with enthrallment and eager interest.

“That’s a really unusual passion you have there, Dom,” he smiled and sat back on his haunches. 

“Yeah,” Dominic chuckled as he joined Elijah, still examining the spider that was hanging beneath her web like nothing could disturb her peace. “Most times when I tell people about it, they’re like ‘Eww what? Are you daft?’ They just don’t understand it. And I don’t get why people get freaked out by creatures like these. I think they’re the most fascinating and admirable animals on this earth. The mere fact that they are able to build these delicate webs and are so well adjusted to their environment and nature that they exactly know how to catch their bait the easiest way…how can that be eww?”

Wrapping his arms around his legs, Elijah watched Dominic explaining his infatuation to him, wildly gesticulating with his hands and his eyes serious and enthusiastic at the same time. It reminded him of their first long conversation in Elijah’s house, back in August, when Dominic had come to visit him after arriving in Wellington. Their talk about passions and interests. That seemed so long ago now. And dear…weren’t they two guys that truly couldn’t be more different, but also more alike? Elijah’s music passion, though Dominic loved music as well, but no one was as obsessed as Elijah. Dominic’s bug passion and his healthy lifestyle, and Elijah’s cigarette addiction and habit of nail biting. They completed each other, they introduced each other to various things, may it be a new album or a spider. They managed to excite each other and that was just one of the things Elijah loved about being with Dominic. He made everything more interesting and exciting.

“Well, I guess it’s the long legs and how they sometimes run so quickly,” Elijah finally said. “Can be pretty frightening, I’m not an exception,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, but now I showed you that there’s absolutely nothing to be scared of. It’s not Shelob after all,” Dominic winked and wrapped an arm around Elijah’s shoulders, his eyes now on the spider again. “Wouldn’t it be great if we could be so well camouflaged against the environment,” he sighed quietly and kissed Elijah’s forehead. The younger man smiled and nodded as he leaned against the body next to him. 

“Yeah, we could do what we want and nobody would give a shit.”

They were sitting like that for a while, both forgetting about the time and that their friends were just a couple of feet away probably wondering where they were. Both of Elijah’s arms were tightly around Dominic’s upper body, his head against the shoulder and the top of his head pressed against the neck. Another hideaway, another spot just for the two of them. Not as romantic as Lake Te Anau, but it was theirs. Couldn’t they just stay like this forever? Right here, isolated from the rest of the world that could be so beautiful, but also so very cruel. Elijah was so wrapped up in this moment that was so intimate in an unusual way that he had almost forgotten about Billy’s words.

“Orlando told Pete about the fountain,” he suddenly said, but in such a serene and matter-of-fact tone like he had just announced that he would go to bed. “Billy said that Liv said that Orlando said he had accidentally spilled it out to Pete.”

“Orli blabbermouth,” Dominic sounded not the least bit surprised. “This smells like revenge, huh?”

Turning his head, Elijah briefly kissed the side of Dominic’s stubbly chin before catching those lips with his own. It was their very first kiss out in the open after the Te Anau kiss and even though they were sitting on the ground in between a bunch of bushes, they felt totally and utterly at ease out here. A voice interrupted them.

“Dom? Elijah? The guys are back from fishing, you might wanna have a look!”

It was Sean Astin and Elijah involuntarily froze for a moment as he forgot that they were at a secluded and sheltered spot. 

“Well, let’s go and check out their prey, huh?” Dominic mumbled against Elijah’s lips with a smile.

“Bye bye, Spidy and good luck,” Dominic waved at the spider and Elijah laughed.

Sean was more than a little perplexed as first Elijah crawled out of the bushes and then Dominic. They brushed the sand off their jeans and looked like nothing unusual was going on. Well, in fact there was nothing unusual, but Sean thought differently.

“What…what were you doing in there?” he asked, still looking bewildered, but also smiling amused.

“What do you think we were doing in there?” Dominic pretended to zip up his pants and then ran a hand through his hair. “We just had to pee. And there was no fountain around this time.”

Elijah giggled and Sean crossed his arms, now grinning himself and shaking his head. 

“Guess it’s better than releasing yourself in the lake,” he said and turned around, walking back to others. Dominic and Elijah followed them, exchanging knowing and amused glances. Still Sean wasn’t as satisfied as he appeared. What the heck was going on here? Elijah’s friendship with Dominic sometimes struck him as a little odd. They definitely had a lot in common, but something wasn’t…was right the proper word? Maybe he should keep a special eye on his young co-star and friend. Sean had put himself into the role of Elijah’s minder already. Their on-screen relationship was definitely rubbing off on the both of them and Sean thought that the phrase “life imitates art” never fitted better than with Elijah and himself. He didn’t mind Elijah spending time with Dominic. He loved seeing Elijah happy and enjoying himself and having a good time and with Dominic he always had all that. Maybe I’m just seeing things? he wondered. Yeah, Elijah and Dominic were really hard to figure out sometimes.

Viggo’s fishing skills were truly remarkable. He had caught a bunch of salmon, and Elijah watched with fascination as he gutted it and placed it into a big frying pan. They had built a campfire on the shore of the lake and, just like Samwise Gamgee, roasted their fish in a cooking pan above the flames. Liv had created a special sauce and everyone was sitting around the fireplace. Being the ever reliable supplier for their little group, Viggo handed out glasses to everyone and filled them with wine. 

“To Dom,” he said as he raised his drink and everyone joined him.

As Elijah, sitting right next to the celebrated member of their Fellowship, lifted his wineglass like the others, he witnessed a rare sight that put a large, amused smile on his face: Dominic honestly blushing.

 

~**~

 

“So, where is it? Where where where?” Dominic jumped up and down in Elijah’s room, his patience slowly but surely going down the drain. They had been back for about half an hour now and still Elijah hadn’t given him the slightest hint what his present could be.

“Alright,” Elijah eventually said after he had stowed his precious CD case in his bedroom and a new pack of cigarettes into his jeans pocket. “It’s about time. After all it takes some time to get there.”

Dominic frowned. “Get there? It’s out of town?”

“Yep,” Elijah grinned despite his growing nervousness. Why the fuck was he nervous? Dominic would love it, there was no reason for him not to. “And since it’s almost five already, we should get going if we wanna be back before midnight.”

“Geez Lij, stop torturing me,” Dominic shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped from one side to the other.

“Oh, but it’s fun,” Elijah smirked. They made their way out of the hotel and to the parking lot. Thank God it was summer, so it was still bright outside. And since Elijah had to drive, unless he wanted to spoil the surprise, he preferred doing so when he could actually see something. Elijah had borrowed Viggo’s car again. Not just because he had gotten used to driving it. It held a special memory, just like their destination almost a month ago. How time was flying by…

Elijah slipped into the driver seat and Dominic got into the seat next to him, an excited smile on his face. Turning around, Elijah faced him directly and couldn’t help but grin himself at Dominic’s so evident excitement.

“Okay, I’m afraid I have to do this,” Elijah pulled a piece of cloth out of his pocket and held it up in front of Dominic’s eyes.

“Oh-oh, now I’m really at your mercy,” Dominic joked and Elijah chuckled as he wrapped the blindfold around Dominic’s head, so that it covered his eyes only.

“We wanna keep it a surprise, don’t we?” he asked, clenching his fist and pretending to punch Dominic directly into his face.

“I might fall asleep though,” Dominic laughed and Elijah turned around again to grip the wheel after making sure that Dominic really couldn’t see anything.

“Feel free,” Elijah said as he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.

“I’m way too excited,” Dominic replied, but his voice didn’t hold its animated tone anymore. Instead it was calmer and more relaxed, just how he was feeling inside. Just being with Elijah, all alone, even if he couldn’t see him and his beautiful big eyes as they were fixed on the street in front of him and a deep frown formed on his face as he concentrated hard on driving on the left side…the knowledge that they were all by themselves and could be themselves made him relax and utterly content. He reached blindly for Elijah’s leg and put his hand on his thigh. Elijah just smiled and threw him a quick glance before turning on the radio and letting music fill the car.

“I hope no one sees us. They might think I’m kidnapping you,” he giggled and Dominic smiled with him. He could actually see the adorable little gap between Elijah’s front teeth as he giggled in front of his inner eyes. That image was one of the most beautiful ones Dominic had locked in his mind, for dark and lonely hours. Those became more and more rare, thank God, as he and Elijah used to spend more nights together, just lying next to each other in bed, sometimes just their hands touching, sometimes wrapped in each other’s arms. Nothing more. The time for that would come and they both would know when it was there.

Elijah was driving for about two and a half hours, first on the Highway 6, the southern route out of Queenstown following the shore of Lake Wakatipu with its delicious fish and the little crawling neighbor in the bushes, then onto State Highway 9, the Te Anau-Mossburn Highway. After a while Dominic did fall asleep. And why not, he couldn’t enjoy the landscape anyway, so he might as well catch up some sleep. Tomorrow would be another long day of filming, with getting up at 4:30 and finishing at 8 in the evening. And maybe it also wasn’t so bad that Dominic was sleeping because it made it harder for him to estimate how long they had been driving. His hand was still on Elijah’s thigh and whenever Elijah was driving straight ahead, he would place his own hand over Dominic’s slender and oh so beautiful fingers.

The 108 miles between Queenstown and Te Anau flew by quickly for Elijah and eventually he spotted a broad and breathtaking lake in the distance.

“We’re home,” he whispered in awe as Lake Te Anau came into view in the dimming daylight. Briefly glimpsing at Dominic, Elijah saw that he was still sound asleep, his head resting against the window. He turned right and after following a road outside the city of Te Anau he reached the Milford Highway. Not long now. Elijah gripped the wheel tightly, his hands feeling a little damp. He left the street and followed a private way that led towards the lake. A few minutes later he was there. The fading light didn’t spoil the scenery at all. It was as overwhelming as ever and Elijah turned the engine off. Tearing his eyes away from the beauty in front of him, he turned around to the beauty next to him. Yes, Dominic was beautiful to him and always would be. Even more so now, when he was so sound asleep and oblivious to where he was. Elijah took his hand and leaned over, placing a soft kiss on Dominic’s sleeping lips. He shifted in his seat and after a few seconds he woke up, momentarily confused about why he couldn’t open his eyes.

“Mmm, are we there?” he asked and stretched his arms. “How long were we driving?”

Elijah just smiled instead of giving an answer and got out of the car to open Dominic’s door and help him out.

“Take a guess,” he grinned as Dominic came to stand in front of him.

“Aargh, now stop torturing me already, Lij!”

Elijah laughed evilly and took a deep breath as he reached for the blindfold and slowly untied it.

It took Dominic’s eyes a moment to adjust to his surroundings and he blinked a couple of times. His formerly tired eyes lit up and he opened them wide, taking everything in. They were standing in front of a wooden house that looked very much like an old-fashioned, cozy cottage. It was surrounded by trees, so it was sheltered from whatever may be on the outside. And behind the house a path led down to a huge, dazzling lake with an amazing mountain scenery in the background.

“Lijah…,” he gasped, his hand grasping the back of his head, a gesture he always used to do whenever he didn’t know what to do with his hands. “Is this what I think it is?”

Elijah nodded happily and fumbled with the cloth in his hands. He loves it, I knew it, he loves it. 

“Lake Te Anau,” Elijah breathed, like it was the most sacred word ever. Taking Dominic’s hands in his, he looked into his eyes and continued in a soft voice. “Remember when we were talking about how the hobbits should get a house in New Zealand after filming? Well…this one here is not ours, but it’s the best thing we can have at this point. It’s a cottage that I rented until December next year which means we can come here whenever we want and pay only for the days when we’re actually here, so it’s practically our private little refuge until we’re ready for something permanent.”

Dominic’s expression changed from astounded to impressed and happy while Elijah was talking and he took another look at the house. If this is a dream, don’t wake me up please, he thought as he looked from the cottage back to Elijah.

“Oh Lij…,” he merely whispered, his voice full of adoration and love. “This is…well, I can’t believe it. For once I’m at a loss for words,” he chuckled and Elijah wrapped his arms tightly around him and felt Dominic do the same with him.

“Happy birthday, Dommie,” he said with a dreamy smile and felt Dominic’s lips on his just a second later.

“The best birthday ever,” Dominic smiled when the kiss ended and took Elijah’s hand. “Thank you so much.”

“Wanna check it out?” Elijah pulled a key out of his back pocket and held it up.

“You bloody bet!” Dominic eagerly pulled Elijah over to the house. “How did you manage this?” he inquired as Elijah unlocked the door. 

“Plenty of research and phone calls. Thank God it worked out. This is the first time I’m actually seeing it as well,” Elijah explained and they stepped into the cottage. From the outside it looked almost like a log cabin, only much bigger and more luxurious. It was a timber home, but it didn’t look too old-fashioned. The warm colors spread a comfortable atmosphere as Elijah switched the light on. In the living-room a large, newly developed plasma flat screen tv was a real eye-catcher, along with a big couch plus armchairs and a glass table. The large window offered an impressive view of the lake.

“I almost wish we could stay here for good,” Dominic giggled as he opened the door to the bedroom and peeked inside. “A king-sized bed. Just the right thing for us, eh?” he grinned at Elijah who took a look and grinned as well.

“I knew you’d like it.”

Suddenly Dominic’s arms were around him again and he was lifted off the floor.

“I bloody love it!” Dominic laughed as he whirled Elijah around in his arms, drawing that uber-cute giggle out of the boy’s throat. “I’ll keep you here, all to myself. Would you like that?”

Elijah, who had no other option but to wrap his legs around Dominic’s waist, just nodded and sighed contently. Oh, how he would love that. Stay here, forever and ever, a perfect hidden life in their own little paradise.

The whirling became slower and slower until is stopped completely and Dominic was standing in the middle of the living-room, Elijah still in his arms, his hands underneath his thighs to keep him up and their lips pressed together. It was the most perfect moment, like coming home to the one you love more than anything in the world. His tongue dived into Elijah’s mouth, roaming the warm and soft cavern and battling with the rough tongue there. Slowly he moved backwards and into the bedroom. Elijah’s arms were locked around his neck as the kiss became deeper and deeper, leaving them both rather breathless as Dominic sat down on the mattress and lay down on his back. Elijah came to lie on top of him, his fingers now stroking Dominic’s cheek as his submissive lover lovingly stroked his back. There was no bedding, only the mattress, and the advancing evening gradually drained the light out of the room. Semi-darkness engulfed them and their kiss lasted for a while until Dominic pulled back. His body had started to react a while ago and now, with Elijah positioned so enticingly on top of him, he could barely hide it anymore. But he wasn’t the only one. Elijah looked down at him with eyes so full of love and trust, but also so full of fear and hesitation. Their bodies were pressed against each other and Dominic could feel it down there, right at the spot that made it difficult to conceal.

“I love you, Elijah…,” A whisper in the dimness that was followed by long, tender fingers brushing a strand of hair behind Elijah’s ear. Shifting a little, he gently pushed him onto his side, so they were lying next to each other, but one of Elijah’s legs remained over Dominic’s hips and the older man placed his hand on it, caressing the clad thigh that surely must be soft like a feather pillow.

“I love you, too…” A pale hand on Dominic’s cheek, but a wavering look still in the eyes.

Dominic’s hand kept traveling up and down Elijah’s thigh, reassuring, soothing, conveying his love and devotion. He could have sworn he was feeling Elijah’s heart hammering in his chest, revealing his nervousness and tension.

“Don’t be scared, baby.”

Something in Elijah’s eyes suddenly changed and a faint smile spread on his lips.

“I love it when you call me that,” he mumbled quietly, his forefinger tracing Dominic’s cheekbone.

Dominic smiled back, glad to see Elijah relaxing a little. “Well, you are…my very own baby,” he said and kissed Elijah’s smiling lips once more. When the kiss ended this time, the look in Elijah’s eyes was difficult to judge. 

“What do you want to do, Lij? It’s all up to you.”

Fuck…Elijah wanted it. He wanted Dominic to touch him. Touch him where only Elijah had touched himself before. But first of all, he wanted the nervousness gone. He couldn’t help it. He was scared as hell, even though he knew there was no reason to be. It’s Dom…nobody else. Dom…

Dominic could see the inner struggle, as he had done so many times before. Removing his hand from Elijah’s thigh he grasped the hand that was on his cheek.

“Lijah…everything’s okay. It’s just me and we don’t have to go the whole way. We’re not prepared for that yet anyway. We need supplies and it’s important that we both get tested before…”

Elijah lay still and just listened, glad that Dominic was talking about what he could not. Of course, Dominic was the experienced one. He would have to show him everything and introduce him to this part of their relationship. The part where they would be united as one. Oh dear…Dominic didn’t even know yet, did he?

“You know, I…,” he began with some hesitation. “I’ve never…”

Dominic smiled and nodded lightly. “I know, Lij. It was obvious from what you told me about your first relationship. And there’s no way you could have any experience with a man yet, right?”

He chuckled silently, eager to take as much of Elijah’s nervousness away from him as possible.

“Right,” Elijah smiled, but that didn’t ease his inner turmoil either.

“You know I would never do anything that might make you feel uncomfortable, yes?” Dominic asked with reassuring eyes and when Elijah nodded he continued in a calm and soothing tone.

“There’s really nothing to be scared of, Elijah. Forget about that dazing whirlwind in your pretty head. Sex is the most natural thing in the world. It’s a physical way to express your love to one another and there’s nothing you could do wrong, not even if you’re still a virgin.”

Smiling softly at Elijah who was soaking up every word and contemplated them in his mind, Dominic let the back of his hand gently stroke Elijah’s cheek.

Elijah’s fingers resumed their caressing of Dominic’s face and he nodded, this time a little more firmly.

“Thank you, Dom,” he said, the tip of his forefinger wandering over Dominic’s temple. “For being so wonderful and patient with me.”

“Hey, no need to thank me,” Dominic kept smiling when he felt the still evident reaction to their earlier passionate moment through Elijah’s pants.

“Would you like me to…take care of that little problem down there?” he asked. It was a completely selfless question and either Elijah would allow it or he wouldn’t. If he didn’t, Dominic would be totally fine with it. Though he hoped and prayed that Elijah would say yes. 

The struggle in those captivating blue eyes was back, but not for very long. When Elijah breathed a barely audible “yes”, Dominic wanted to pinch himself. It’s really not a dream, is it? Thank you, Lijah…thank you…for trusting me and being so bloody enticing…

His hand behind Elijah’s head, Dominic pulled the younger guy closer for another slow and calming kiss, his fingers then dancing all the way down Elijah’s back to his hips. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he had a feeling like it was getting warmer and warmer down there. Keeping the pace slow, Dominic moved his hand to the front of Elijah’s groin and carefully placed it on the growing bulge there. Then he squeezed, not hard but softly and only once. Elijah gasped into his mouth and a small moan escaped his throat. Dominic could feel him tremble against his own body, so he softly pushed him onto his back and settled against him, one arm draped behind his neck, the other one still on the crotch. He squeezed once more, drawing another groan from Elijah who was practically clinging to him with his fingers clenching the back of Dominic’s shirt.

“Okay?” Dominic asked in a whisper and Elijah opened his eyes a crack, now more passion than fear in them. He was still trembling, but that was quite normal. After a faint nod from Elijah, Dominic’s fingers began to unbutton the jeans beneath them while his lips were busy kissing Elijah’s. Slowly the zipper came down and Dominic pushed the pants a little over the hips. Softer fabric. Boxers and a hard heat pounding underneath them. But Dominic didn’t fondle that spot right away. Instead he stroked the smooth skin just above the waistband where he could feel the line of thin hair he had seen once before. When he had helped Elijah home after their wild night. Eventually his fingers found their way beneath the waistband and Elijah’s body tensed up. 

“It’s alright,” Dominic assured and slowly the body relaxed some more. Elijah deepened the kiss, but broke away and gasped when he felt tender fingers on the base of his cock. Dominic pushed the boxers down and took a look at what he had only been feeling until now and peeked at in a drunken state on top of a fountain.

“Mmm…so beautiful,” he breathed against Elijah’s cheek as he turned his head again, letting Elijah moan and gasp. Touching the semi-erect member, Dominic’s fingers brushed against it, feeling the growing hardness from the base to the tip. Then he wrapped his fingers around it and gave it a little squeeze. Another one and another one until Elijah moaned continuously. Dominic’s lips moved all over his cheek and to his ear where he whispered into the auricle.

“You feel so good, baby,” his fingers were now solidly stroking the erection and Elijah smiled through his gasps, his eyes still closed, lost in the passion he was given. It was surreal, but it was really happening. Dominic’s hand on his penis, stroking him, squeezing him, knowing exactly where to fondle and where to press to turn Elijah into a puddle of writhing and moaning. His balls were fondled, his base was gripped tightly, the sensitive head of his cock was teased by a skilled thumb. His fingers clenched and unclenched in Dominic’s shirt and he was barely aware of Dominic’s own arousal pressing against his hips. But that didn’t seem to bother his lover at all, his entire focus was on Elijah and taking him to release. Finally Elijah threw his head back, and with Dominic’s lips back on his cheek, he emitted a final moan as his seed spurted into that wonderful hand.

Dominic had been prepared when the throbbing and pulsating of Elijah’s cock had increased, a certain sign of his approaching orgasm. And when it was there, his hand had cupped the leaking head to keep the semen from staining the new mattress. Holding it tightly in his hand, he kissed Elijah’s heated face and placed his mouth on those parted lips that had just produced the most beautiful moans he had ever heard.

The fingers at the back of his shirt loosened their death grip and slowly Elijah came down from his euphoric wave, his fingers stroking through Dominic’s hair.

“That was…amazing,” he mumbled against softly kissing lips and the look that Dominic gave him was so full of pure and utter love that he felt like crying for joy.

“It was…,” Dominic mumbled back and kissed Elijah in a way that would hopefully convey his love to him like no words ever could.

Deep inside something had changed in Elijah’s heart and soul. A deeper connection and an even stronger bond had built between the two of them, something unexplainable that left him with the certain knowledge that this man was the best that could ever happen to him. And he never wanted to miss that again, never ever. He couldn’t peek into Dominic’s soul, but if he could, he would have known that Dominic was feeling exactly the same. Though on some higher, spiritual level he did know.

If Dominic had had his diary with him now, he would have finished the entry he had started in the morning.  _It’s like starting all over, but everything will be so much better. There’s a new love in my life. No, it feels a million times better than love. I don’t know how to describe it. I think for the first time in my life I’m at a total loss for words…and tonight...tonight proved we can connect and bond even more than we already did. And that we’re absolutely, without a doubt made for each other._

 


	12. Chapter 12

“God, I hate flying…,” Well, maybe that wasn’t quite the truth. Usually Dominic didn’t mind being on planes. They carried you from one place to another in a fast, comfortable and safe way. He only hated them when they carried him away from a place where he wanted to stay. Away from someone he wanted to stay with. Someone he felt an indescribable love for. Luckily that someone was still sitting next to him for the next sixteen hours, but then their ways would part for about four weeks. Four bloody weeks. How was he supposed to cope with that?

“It’ll be over before you realize it,” Elijah spoke in a quiet tone, knowing what Dominic was really thinking. The plane had just reached its maximum altitude and would soon make a stop in Auckland. From there it would go on to the USA. Dominic turned his head and smiled sadly at him and Elijah resisted the urge to give him a comforting kiss. How was he supposed to console him anyway if he couldn’t even console himself? Wasn’t there a way they could come back to New Zealand sooner after their holiday break? Sure there must be. They could stay at their new private place before filming would continue in January. He had hoped they could at least spend New Year’s there, but that wasn’t possible. Everyone would be with their families and all they had were phones and emails. A small comfort. 

Taking Elijah’s hand in his, Dominic kissed it after making sure that nobody was watching them. Then he let it go again. Some people had looked at Elijah when he, Dominic, Billy, Orlando and the Astins had boarded the plane from Wellington to Los Angeles, but no one had approached them or said anything, except one little girl who had asked for Elijah’s autograph. Other than that there had been looks and some pointing fingers. In two years things would doubtlessly be different.

“Remember what happened exactly one month ago?” Elijah asked in a whisper and with a soft smile on his lips.

Dominic smiled and whispered back, his eyes fixed on Elijah’s plump and oh so tempting bottom lip. “Of course…our first kiss…” November 13, 1999. That date would forever be marked on his mind. 

He was about to reach for Elijah’s hand again as Billy and Orlando returned from the restroom and flopped down into two seats on the other side of the aisle.

“Did you have fun?” Dominic grinned cheekily at them. “I know, these airplane restrooms are always a little small.”

“Sod off, Monaghan,” Orlando laughed. “You’re just jealous.”

“Oh no, I wish you two all the best,” Dominic smirked.

“Puh, thank God Sean is sitting at the back, he’d be totally embarrassed by us once again,” Billy chuckled as a stewardess made her way through the aisle with a trolley full of beverages. Dominic raised his finger to get her attention.

“Excuse me, Miss,” he said, putting on his most charming smile. “Do you have a bottle of champagne?”

“Yes, sir,” the stewardess answered with a polite smile and pulled a cooled bottle out of an icebox. 

“Brilliant, I’ll take it,” Dominic said after the woman named the price and handed her the appropriate sum, plus a remarkable amount of an extra tip. “For the particularly nice service,” he explained, oozing a charm that would normally let every girl go weak in the knees from one second to the next. This time was no exception and the stewardess blushed after her eyes had grown wide at the sight of the tip.

“Thank you,” she mumbled as she accepted the money and then handed out glasses to the four men. After filling the glasses she wished them a nice flight and moved on.

“Woah, Dom,” Orlando chuckled when she was out of earshot. “You sure know how to charm the girls out of their trousers, huh?”

Dominic grinned and raised his glass and the others did the same. “Well, I can afford it now. Plus we’ve got something to celebrate. To the movies, to the new year, to the future and to us,” he proclaimed and they clung their glasses together. “To us,” he repeated quietly to Elijah who couldn’t have felt any happier than in that very moment.

Time literally flew by. The smog-filled sky over Los Angeles was a familiar sight to Elijah and when it came into view, he sighed. He was home. Well, he would be really at home a few days later when he would fly back to Iowa with his mother and his siblings to spend the holidays with his grandparents. Elijah was sitting by the window and Dominic leaned over as the city became clearer and clearer.

“There’s the Hollywood sign,” Elijah pointed at the small white landmark in the distance, placed in between the green of the Hollywood Hills.

“Looks tiny from up here,” Dominic stated, noticing how close he was to Elijah. If the younger guy turned his head now, they’d definitely have a problem that could only be solved by doing one thing. Taking a quick look around, Dominic made sure that nobody was watching. He didn’t have to, everyone was glued to the windows as well and the people in the middle section weren’t paying them any attention either. Not even Billy and Orlando who were busy chatting with each other. When Elijah did turn his head, his eyes as big and shiny as ever, but a tinge of sadness and longing in them, Dominic couldn’t resist. A short, hidden kiss was all the two of them dared before looking out the window again. They were sitting in silence, taking in these last few moments together until their ways would part.

The LAX airport terminal was crowded as usual on this pre-Christmas Monday in the middle of December. Holiday decorations were supposed to sustain and increase the festive mood of the passengers, but with Elijah it achieved the opposite. He should be looking forward to his family, Christmas, New Year’s…but he couldn’t. Not when Dominic was thousands of miles away. There had been no question that the Brits would fly home via Los Angeles. It wouldn’t take any longer than flying via Sydney or Bangkok, but it meant traveling together with their American friends for a while. It meant spending more than half a day with each other, sitting next to each other. But now it was over.

Dominic, Billy and Orlando had to catch their British Airways flight to England and Elijah and Sean would be left behind. At least it felt like that for Elijah. Like being left behind in a city he wasn’t supposed to be in. He was supposed to be in the same city as Dominic. In the same country. Fuck…please stay here. With me. His heart was aching.

They hugged each other in the busy hall. Billy and Elijah, Orlando and Elijah, Dominic and Elijah. Elijah wrapped his arms tightly around Dominic who hugged him back just as tightly, whispering sweet words of comfort into his ear.

“I’ll call you, okay?” Elijah could hear the hidden tears in Dominic’s voice and he felt like crying himself. The embrace ended way too soon, but they didn’t have any other choice. Not just because the others had to board their connecting flight, but also because they didn’t want to attract any attention. They pulled apart, but their eyes were still locked with each other. Elijah barely realized that Sean was talking to him as he watched Dominic, Billy and Orlando walk towards the check-in and the gates. He was clutching his trolley suitcase tightly, packed with only the most important stuff from his house in Wellington. His CDs, some of his favorite clothes…the key to their cottage. The small object that held so many positive thoughts and memories already after only one evening in the cozy house. And so many more were to come.

“Elijah?” Sean’s voice, finally reaching his mind. Elijah turned around and looked at him. The look in Sean’s eyes told him how he must have looked and, as the ever concerned friend that he was, Sean was now in full-protective mode.

“You alright?” He asked, but the light smile that appeared on Elijah’s face couldn’t erase his concern.

“Yeah, sorry…,” Elijah said quietly, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses. They were dark-circled, something that always stood out immediately due to the usual paleness of his face. “I’m just a little tired.”

Sean nodded, but didn’t look completely satisfied with that answer. But Alexandra started to grow a little impatient with her parents, so he didn’t press the matter any further.

“I just asked if you wanted to share a cab with us.”

Elijah shook his head and kept smiling, determined to keep the facade up. “No thanks, my sister is picking me up.”

They hugged and then Sean was on his way out of the building with his family. Elijah looked at the gate Dominic had disappeared through not so long ago. He rubbed his eyes once more, sighing heavily. Fuck, he wasn’t going to cry. But he was feeling so…empty was probably the right word. Like something inside him was missing all of a sudden and had left nothing but an empty shell behind. If he hadn’t known it by now, he would have realized it in this moment. He was deeply and hopelessly in love.

Finally he moved out of the airport building and to the parking lot, pulling his suitcase behind himself. The sun was shining brightly and he had to shield his eyes with his hand as he tried to spot Hannah somewhere. Knowing his sister, she probably got caught up somewhere or was still on her way or something. But just a few seconds later she came strolling out of the airport building with a plastic coffee cup in her hand. When she saw her brother, her face lit up and she started to run, throwing her arms around him, careful not to spill any of her hot beverage.

“Welcome home! How was the flight? How’s filming going? How’s that Peter Jackson?” she started to bombard him with questions and Elijah laughed, grabbing his suitcase and walking towards the car.

“Just let me arrive first, please,” he chuckled, somehow glad that ever animated Hannah managed to distract his mind a little. Elijah noticed that her hairstyle was still the same as it had been when he had left for New Zealand which was pretty unusual. Normally she’d change it more often than she’d change her underwear. But it was still blondish and tied back in a ponytail. She had turned 16 about two months earlier and she just got her driver’s license. Therefore Elijah wasn’t quite happy when he spotted his own Mini Cooper in the parking lot. 

“Hey, did mom allow you to drive my car?” he asked, giving her the disapproving, but not quite that serious big brother-look. “Guess I’ll take over the wheel now.”

“Ah come on, Lij. I’m a really good driver and this car is so easy to handle,” she pouted, opening the trunk to put Elijah’s luggage into it. “Besides, you’re way too tired to drive. Actually you look pretty much like shit.”

Elijah laughed and crossed his arms. “Thanks for your honesty. I can always rely on it.”

Hannah winked and slipped into the driver seat, not giving him any other choice but to take the passenger seat. He was glad he wasn’t driving, he admitted to himself. He was feeling tired and exhausted, but not because of the flight. He accepted the now half empty coffee cup from his sister as she pulled out of the parking lot and joined the hectic Los Angeles traffic. She was concentrating hard, her hands clutching the wheel and a frown on her face. Elijah thought he must have looked exactly like that when Dominic had taught him how to drive on the left side. Leaning back, he closed his eyes for a moment. Dominic…how he was missing him already. But he couldn’t talk about it with anyone. Everyone would want to know about New Zealand of course, what his cast mates were like, how filming was going and so on. And what would he say? That he had made many new friends and bonded with them like he had hardly ever bonded with anyone? Especially with one certain guy from England? Elijah felt the need to talk, but he couldn’t. If he told Hannah, she would tell their mother, and he had absolutely no idea how she might react.

“What’s New Zealand like?” Hannah asked when she was finally comfortable and certain enough to speak. Elijah opened his eyes again.

“It’s the most beautiful country in the whole world,” he said, perhaps a little too dreamily as Hannah briefly turned to grin at him.

“Sounds like it,” she giggled. “And the actors? You know I almost died when you said that Viggo Mortensen is on board. Oh my God, the hottest guy on earth.”

Elijah chuckled, remembering one of the very few phone calls with his sister when he told her about the unexpected re-casting of Aragorn. She had squeed like the girl that she was and requested an autograph. Elijah didn’t think much about it because Hannah had another “hottest guy on earth” almost every year. Two years earlier it had been his co-star in The Faculty, Josh Hartnett, a year later it was every teenage girl’s dream boy Leonardo DiCaprio and now it was Viggo. He wondered how Hannah would react to Dominic when they met. They would meet sooner or later and would she be as enthusiastic about him as her brother was? Even though she was his younger sister, Elijah valued her opinion a lot and was always interested in it. They had been through thick and thin together throughout the hardest time in their lives when their parents got divorced and it had brought them even closer together than they had already been. Maybe Elijah could even trust her with Dominic. But he didn’t want to risk anything, because losing Dominic would be a nightmare he wouldn’t want to face anytime soon. In fact, never ever.

“Viggo is awesome,” Elijah said as he lit a clove, the ashes flying out of the window. “Everyone is awesome, all the guys, Peter Jackson and Fran, the crew…the other hobbits…”

“You gotta tell me every dirty detail when we’re home,” Hannah insisted and though Elijah knew she wasn’t serious, something inside him winced. 

They arrived at their mother’s house and Hannah parked the car. While Zach had moved out a while ago, Elijah and Hannah were still living with her. It was an average house, not some villa as one might have expected. Despite Elijah’s early fame his mother had always made sure that his childhood and life would remain as normal as possible. No one had been living off Elijah’s money and, what was almost more important, no one had ever given him the feeling that he was someone better just because he was a successful actor. 

Elijah had hardly closed the door behind him as his mother Debbie already came out of the kitchen and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Hello, honey! Welcome home. How was it? You wanna take a nap first or eat something with us?”

Hugging his mom tightly, Elijah was glad to be back in his little shelter. He didn’t really feel like talking much, but he knew the two were dying to know everything face to face and not just over the phone, so he agreed to have dinner with them.

“It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before,” he told them after they had sat down in the dining room. And once he had started to talk, his fatigue seemed to vanish slowly. “It’s the most exciting set, the most passionate people and I’ve made many wonderful new friends. And Peter Jackson is the most awesome director I’ve ever worked with. He’s always so relaxed and he really never ever gets loud or freaks out. And the nature, oh my God, I’ve never seen anything like it. New Zealand’s got the most beautiful lakes ever and mountains and I’ve never seen so many sheep in one place. And we’re all more like brothers than cast mates. Just last week we celebrated Dom’s birthday, well, Dominic Monaghan from England who plays Merry, and we were at this lake fishing and it was almost like a boys scout thing.”

Debbie smiled as she listened to her son’s ranting, relieved to see him this happy and obviously satisfied with everything. Elijah had been enthusiastic of course before leaving for New Zealand, but she had also sensed his nervousness. It was only natural, she guessed. But now he was glowing as he told them about the country and its landscape, about the other hobbits, Viggo, Orlando, Sean Bean, Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh…it was almost like a different Elijah had come home. But of course he was different now. He was living on his own, in a different country. It was like a completely new life for him. He wasn’t her little boy anymore. He had grown up into a decent young man and she couldn’t be any prouder of him. Elijah’s personal development had always been more important to her than major movie roles. All she had ever wanted was to protect him from any bad influences and she had done so until now.

“And Frodo…well, he’s a real challenge, but I just love to play him. I didn’t really know what to expect and I must say, I…sort of freaked out a little before filming began,” Elijah continued, feeling a blush creep onto his face. He so wanted to tell them about Dominic, what he meant to him, what he had done for him…

“But we were always there for each other, so I quickly got over that,” he finished simply and cast his eyes down on his plate.

“I’m so glad to know that you’re doing so well over there,” Debbie said with a smile. “I knew you were quite the bundle of nerves when you left.”

“I was,” Elijah chuckled quietly and finished his meal. “I guess I’ll lie down for a while, I’m really drained.” After helping to clear off the table, he moved upstairs and into his room where he flopped down on the bed. Dominic was thousands of miles above the ground right now, flying across the USA and then over the Atlantic Ocean…Oh Dom…why am I feeling so empty? Because I am empty. I feel so incomplete without you. I’ll just go to sleep. Hopefully you’ll be in my dreams…

A few minutes later darkness engulfed him.

 

~**~

 

Ten hours, from Los Angeles to London and then another hour to Manchester. Eleven hours until Dominic could call Elijah. If he kept the time zones in mind and didn’t call him in the middle of the night. He could still feel him in his embrace as they had said good-bye in the LAX terminal. A farewell that had been way too short and rushed. Sitting by the window and wriggling around in his seat like some drug addict who hadn’t had a shot in a while, Dominic wasn’t even aware of the sympathetic looks that Billy was giving him. His Scottish mate was sitting right next to him as Orlando was asleep in a seat in the middle section. Dominic could see nothing but clouds as he looked out the window. He didn’t even know if they were still flying over the mainland or if they were already crossing the Atlantic and that irritated him a lot. What time was it? How many hours to go? How much time to kill before he reached British soil? And what about the time difference? Eight hours between Britain and Los Angeles. When would he arrive? Bloody hell, he was too tired to think clearly.

Someone’s hand was on his shoulder and Dominic turned around. Billy was still looking at him with those compassionate eyes of his. Dominic managed a small smile and turned back to the window, his fingers tapping onto the armrest of his seat.

“It happened much too fast,” he suddenly mumbled, the fingers of his free hand against his lips. He was biting his nails out of distress, something he did probably for the first time now. “We should have organized it differently. It was just a brief hug and he was looking so lost there in the middle of the terminal…”

Billy stopped the rambling of his friend by giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I know,” he said quietly. How could he possibly cheer him up? There was probably no way. Dominic and Elijah had just found their way towards each other. It was still new and fresh and, like any other couple in that state of their relationship, they would want to spend as much time together as possible. “You can at least hear his voice again soon. Time will fly by so quickly, you won’t even notice it.”

Dominic kept tapping his fingers against the armrest and his eyes narrowed. “I know this sounds weird. But I feel like…like I’ve left him behind or something. Like he’s not supposed to be where he is now. That he’s supposed to be here, but I left him behind.”

Sighing deeply, he turned to Billy again. “I just hope he doesn’t feel like that, too. Does this even make sense?”

Billy smiled and wrapped his arm around Dominic’s shoulder. “I guess it does. A lot of things don’t seem to make sense when you’re in love, but on a deeper level they do and that’s the strange thing.”

“Whoever said that you’re not allowed to use cell phones on a plane?” Dominic suddenly asked with another deep sigh. “It’s bollocks. What damage could a bloody cell do, huh?”

Billy couldn’t help but sigh himself. It was in vain, he’d never be able to comfort Dominic and he hated to see him like this. His best mate wasn’t supposed to be in this state. “Why don’t you try to sleep a little? That makes the time pass more quickly.”

Dominic pulled his fingers away from his mouth and looked at Billy, regret and sadness in his eyes. “Maybe you’re right. Gah, I’m sorry, Bills. I know I’m a pain in the arse sometimes. Just ignore me.”

“Hey hey hey,” Billy interrupted quickly, removing his arm from around Dominic’s shoulders. “I’m your friend, you can be the biggest pain in the arse and I’d still be your friend. And you have every reason to feel crappy.”

For the first time since they had boarded the plane, a hint of a smile appeared on Dominic’s face. Rubbing his tired eyes and scratching his unshaven chin, he nodded faintly and didn’t even turn back to the window. Drowning in self-pity wouldn’t get him anywhere and, despite Billy’s reassurance, he didn’t want to bother his mate even more.

“It’s so unbelievable,” Dominic said in a soft tone, looking at some spot in front of him, like he was lost deep in thoughts. “Who would have thought something like this would happen to me, huh? Not me anyway.”

“Oh, I did,” Billy chuckled, sensing his chance to lift the mood a little. “You’re a young, handsome and over the top charming bloke from England. And everyone knows that Americans, especially American lasses, love Brits. And not just the lasses, as we know now,” he winked and the chuckle that now came from Dominic sounded so good in his ears.

“Well, it’s too late now, American gals,” Dominic grinned. “This bloke’s happily taken.”

“Hmm okay, leaves more for me,” Billy smirked and this time Dominic actually laughed. They chatted for a few more minutes before his weariness got the better of Dominic and he closed his eyes.

Time did indeed pass by quickly and when he woke up they were already about to land in London, England. Dominic felt refreshed and more than eager to take the rest of his long journey home. Saying good-bye to Billy and Orlando at Heathrow Airport was hard, but not as hard as the farewell in Los Angeles had been. They promised to stay in touch over the next few weeks and then Dominic was off to Manchester. Just another hour. He knew his parents would probably not be at home and his brother was once again on the road, but would be back for Christmas. Coming home after spending more than two months abroad was more than weird. Practically nothing had changed, Dominic noticed as the taxi brought him from Manchester Airport to the town of Stockport, about 6 miles away from the city center. Well, of course nothing had changed, he hadn’t been gone for that long after all. But it was strange, coming from the New Zealand summer back into the European and English winter. Another reason why they should return to New Zealand as soon as possible. 

How he wished Elijah was here…he would show him everything, maybe even get him into football and English breakfast and, most importantly, introduce him to his family. Dominic grinned as he imagined their faces and wondered if he should tell them already. Would they even believe him? The famous Elijah Wood? Gay? And in love with him? No, he probably shouldn’t do that yet. But right now all he wanted to do was call him.

Entering his parents’ house, Dominic dropped his suitcase in a corner and looked at the clock. Almost six in the evening. Awesome! He fumbled his diary out of his bag where he had written down Elijah’s number in Los Angeles, then he picked up the phone. He felt nervous as he dialed. Who knew who would pick up? His mother? Now that would be interesting. He heard the ringing tone and then indeed a female voice spoke on the other end of the line.

“Hello, here the Wood residence?” the cheerful girl said and Dominic heard she was way too young to be Elijah’s mother. So, this was very likely his little sister.

“Hello, Dominic Monaghan from England here,” Dominic said in his happiest and friendliest tone. “Could I talk to Elijah, please?”

“Dominic, Dominic…,” the girl said, like she was thinking about something real hard. “Oh yeah! He mentioned you. You’re one of the hobbits, aren’t you?”

Sitting down on the bottom step of the stairs, Dominic grinned into the phone. “Yes, I am. And you must be his charming sister Hannah, right? He just couldn’t stop talking about you and what a great girl you are,” he said. Careful with your charms, Monaghan, he thought to himself and had to keep himself from bursting into giggles. The other end went silent for a few seconds and he could virtually see her blush.

“You’re fucking with me,” she finally said and he could hear the smile in her voice. Dear, she truly got her brother’s potty mouth, Dominic noticed amused.

“No no, I would never do that. Is he awake already?”

“Yes, he is, one moment,” Hannah said and then she was gone, probably rushing upstairs. Dominic could make out noises and quiet voices in the background, then the phone was grabbed again. His heart was racing.

“Dom?” Elijah’s voice, sounding just as excited as Dominic himself.

“Hi baby, how are you doing?” His heart was still racing and all the anxiety Dominic had felt for the past hours was gone immediately.

“Fine, wait…,” the voice broke off and Dominic could hear a brief brother-sister quarrel, with Elijah telling his sister to please leave the room. For some reason that made him grin even more. It was nice to see Elijah interact with his family, even if he could not see him directly.

“Okay, I’m back,” Elijah’s happy voice said. “I see you’ve already met my wonderful sister,” he giggled.

“She’s really nice, Lij. Just as lovely as her lovely brother.”

“Yeah well, just a little curious sometimes, like all sisters.”

Elijah’s giggle again…oh, how Dominic had missed that. And they had just been a couple of hours apart.

“Mmm, I see…,” Dominic purred into the phone. “You know I don’t have to tell you how much I miss you, eh?”

“I miss you, too,” Elijah sighed. “How was the flight, everything okay?”

“Whined to Billy for a while. The poor bloke must be so sick of me now,” Dominic chuckled, but it sounded rather sad. However, the restlessness was gone. He hadn’t expected that the mere sound of Elijah’s voice would have such a calming effect on him, but it did.

“Dom…uhm…I know it’s still early, but is there a way we could…you know, maybe go back sooner?” Elijah asked in a hesitating tone.

“I think there is, Lijah,” Dominic replied, glad that Elijah wanted the same. “Let’s see, the holiday break ends on the 17th, right? We could go back a week earlier, what do you say? Explore our new home some more?”

Oh, he could picture them already. Sitting in front of the large tv in the cozy living-room, snuggled against each other on the couch, going down to the lake where they would take a swim, him cooking for Elijah in the evening, soaking up the sun together in the garden, doing what they wanted to do without anyone else around, lying in bed together…paradise on earth.

“Sounds awesome,” Elijah said in a dreamy tone. “I’m carrying the key everywhere I go now. It’s like the key to our own paradisiacal place. And…,” his voice became even more sentimental, “I have a doctor’s appointment at the end of the week. I wanna get checked as soon as possible.”

Dominic buried his face in his free hand, his other hand clutching the phone tightly. God, how he longed to hold Elijah in his arms at this very moment. Why did he have to be so bloody far away?

“That’s great, Lij,” he mumbled, struggling to hide the yearning in his voice. “I’ll do the same as soon as possible. And I’ll take care of everything else as well, don’t you worry about anything, okay?”

He could hear his teary voice in his own ears and knew his desperate attempt to hide it had been in vain. On the other end of the line, on the other side of the world, Elijah could hear it, too.

“Dom,” he started softly. “We’ll get through this. We just have to focus on other things for now and we still have the beautiful memories we already made. Like your birthday…and the wonderful way that it ended…”

Dominic nodded, totally forgetting that Elijah couldn’t see it. “And we’ll make many more.”

“Yes, we will.”

The smiling tone of Elijah voice made Dominic smile as well. Up until now it had been Dominic who had given Elijah comfort and reassuring words whenever he had needed it. And now it was Dominic’s turn. But he knew that Elijah was probably not nearly as confident and cheerful as he sounded. He was hurting as well, Dominic could sense it, but he managed to control it better.

“Just…keep in mind that I love you, okay Lij?”

“I love you, too.”

It was time to end the talk since Dominic could feel his tiredness coming back. Looks like he wasn’t as refreshed as he had thought. A nap before his parents would come home was probably the best. And saying good-bye to Elijah was as difficult as expected.

About 5500 miles further westwards Elijah hung up with a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart. He had been awake for quite some time already, but he hadn’t had the energy to get up yet. Hearing Dominic’s voice had been like a glowing ray of sunshine on a dark, rainy day and he wished the phone call could have gone on forever. Focus on other things, he had said. What other things? He wasn’t in the mood for any Christmas preparations at all, yet he still had so many things to do. He was with his loved ones, but one important loved one was missing. Okay, enough Elijah, he told himself with determination. Lying in bed all day long won’t make it better. You better get your ass up and do something productive. Like Christmas shopping. Yeah, he hadn’t done that yet and it was about time. As he slipped out of his bed and strolled towards the door, he wondered what he could get for Dominic. Another beautiful rental cottage somewhere? Yes, one in every corner of New Zealand. Elijah smiled at that thought. Now, how awesome would that be? Far far away from any civilization, judging people and movie duties. Just he and Dominic. All alone, living life in paradise. Their permanent residence would be at Lake Te Anau of course. Maybe, if they made enough money, they might even have a completely new house built for them…

This wild daydreaming slowly pushed the melancholy out of Elijah’s heart and filled it with giddy joy. But when he opened the door, it all got knocked out again. He stared with wide eyes full of shock, his hand gripping the door handle so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His heart began to hammer in his chest and he was feeling a sudden heat that left him breathless. 

Hannah was standing directly in front of him, her hands still resting on her knees. It was more than obvious what she had done just a few seconds earlier and she looked back at him with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. Then she stood up straight again and crossed her arms. If Elijah didn’t know yet that he was in trouble, he knew it when his sister opened her mouth and asked the one question Elijah had hoped he didn’t have to face yet.

“Who is that Dominic?”

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

For as long as Elijah could remember Hannah had always been there. His sister was just about two years and eight months younger than him, so he hardly had any memory of when she hadn’t been there yet. Always nosy, but never annoying or exasperating. Elijah loved her dearly. But right now he would have loved to grab her by her ear which had heard things it shouldn’t have heard and yell her brains out. Of course he couldn’t do that. Instead he just took her hand and pulled her into his room before locking the door behind her. They looked at each other, Elijah with his back pressed against the door and his heart racing so wildly that he was sure it would explode any second, and Hannah with questioning yet apologetic eyes. Slowly she lowered herself on the bed, wringing her hands in her lap and biting her bottom lip.

She knows…oh my God, she fucking knows…Elijah squeezed his eyes shut, like he was able to shut out the scene and everything that would follow with this simple action. But he couldn’t. He opened them again and took a deep breath, focusing Hannah with big, piercing eyes full of fear but also anger.

“What did you hear?” Smart question, really. What do you think she heard? Fucking everything.

Hannah, however, didn’t answer that question. “I’m really sorry, Elijah,” she said remorsefully instead, fumbling with her wringing fingers. “I shouldn’t have done that…”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Elijah snapped back, only to regret it right away. Sure, she had been eavesdropping on a very private conversation, but she had probably thought Elijah was just talking to a friend. And when she had realized that this had been more than a friendly talk, of course she had become confused and interested. When she had realized that the guy on the other end was more than a mere friend...

Hannah studied her brother’s face who was clearly fighting with himself. She had never seen him like this before. So torn and struggling. When she had listened to him talking on the phone, his voice softer and more loving than she had ever heard it before and then the more than unmistakable words, she had known immediately. But what an awkward way to find out. She wished he would have come to her, that he had shown her the proper amount of trust. But she could understand why he hadn’t. He had only just arrived back home and it was probably still fresh and new. She just wondered…

“Elijah,” she spoke softly and finally he looked at her again. Tears had formed in his eyes and his mouth was covered with a hand. She needed to help him. Desperately. “Elijah, please…come here…,” Patting the space on the bed next to her, Hannah begged him with her voice and her eyes and eventually Elijah left his spot on the door and moved over to her where he sat down. His hand covered his eyes now and he sniffed quietly. Hannah wrapped her arms around him and he leaned into her embrace, but didn’t hug her back. Instead he wiped at his wet eyes with both hands, sniffing in the silence of the room.

Why was he feeling like his entire world just got into serious and grave danger? He knew why. Because he had so wanted to keep it a secret. Only if it was a secret, Dom and he had a chance to survive. The more people knew, the more threatened his love was. And that was something he just couldn’t cope with. He would lose Dominic. He would lose the one person that had captured his heart like nobody else ever had and who meant the world to him. Horror scenarios formed in his mind…Peter…New Line…forcing them to end it…this “meaningless fling” as they’d probably call it…Sean declaring him crazy…he could hear his words already…But it was anything but a meaningless fling. It couldn’t be any more serious. Dominic had become a part of him. This holiday break made it more than clear. Elijah felt like an important piece of him was missing and that piece was on the other side of the world.

He was barely aware of Hannah rubbing his back and trying to get his attention. Slowly he remembered where he was. Not with New Line or any other superficial people that would throw rocks at him if they knew the truth. He was in his mother’s house, in his room, with his sister.

“Elijah…what’s going on, please…tell me…,” her voice, so close yet sounding so far away in his ears. She let go of him, but kept an arm around his shoulders. He looked up, his eyes still teary.

“Isn’t that obvious?” he asked with a glistening gaze. What he said next literally took her breath away. “Your brother is gay. Ashamed?”

Hannah just stared back at him, deliberately ignoring the last remark for the time being. Her mind registered the words as her eyes studied Elijah’s that looked defeated for some reason.

“When did you know for sure?” she finally asked.

That was not quite the reaction Elijah had expected. But then again, what had he expected? That she would scream at him, calling him faggot, fairy or other names? She’s your sister, don’t forget about that, he told himself. Sighing heavily, he ran a shaking hand through his hair and looked down, avoiding her eyes. He couldn’t look at her anymore. He was sure he would see the shame in her eyes if he looked at her, even though something inside him assured him that this would never happen. His jumbled mind however told him something different.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. God, how he longed for a cigarette. “A while back I think, but I didn’t wanna admit it to myself.”

Hannah nodded, keeping her eyes focused on his face, even if he wasn’t looking at her.

“I would be lying if I said I hadn’t suspected something like this,” she said quietly and that made Elijah finally look up. The surprise in his eyes was obvious and she couldn’t help but smile lightly, the arm that was still around him squeezing his shoulder.

“You…you knew?” he gasped.

“No, of course I didn’t know. But well, you never brought anyone home and that girl you had once…sorry, but that looked more than awkward,” Hannah blushed and chewed on her bottom lip, watching Elijah’s face. He didn’t seem to be hurt or angry by that comment, on the contrary, he looked like she had confirmed what he was thinking anyway. So she continued.

“And the way you were talking about girls, if you talked about them at all, well…I don’t know. I guess deep inside I was wondering…”

Elijah wiped his eyes dry and this time they remained dry. He was tired of the tears and the constant feeling of fear, but it was still there, no matter how much he struggled to keep it away. Until a couple of weeks ago he had tried to pretend to be someone he wasn’t and that fight had left its mark. He wanted to open up to his sister, but he still thought she might not be telling the truth. That she was ashamed after all. He needed to know. He needed her on his side because she was the only person he could trust right now.

“So…,” he hesitated for a moment and then looked at her with uncertain eyes. “What do you think? Am I the disgrace of the family now?”

Hannah shook her head with a sigh. “Oh Lij, is that what you’ve been thinking all the time?” Of course it must have been. This was so typically Elijah. Imagining all sorts of horror images and not talking to anyone. At least not of his own accord. She wondered what kind of person that Dominic was. Did he have similar issues with himself and if he had, how did he handle them?

“I told Dominic everything,” Elijah suddenly said and Hannah paid extra attention, wanting to know more about this guy who had obviously made such an impact on her brother. “I mean, really everything. About mom and dad, the divorce and…my personal issues with it.”

Hannah frowned. “What personal issues do you mean?” she inquired carefully. After their parents’ separation Elijah and she had spent many nights talking, questioning and wondering about just what might have been the reason for their family’s breakdown, but they had simply concluded that it must have had something to do with the distance and them leading separate lives. Hannah had had a hard time accepting the divorce and that their father was gone, but that feeling had been replaced by anger. Anger at their dad who hadn’t fought enough in her opinion and who had simply stayed behind in Iowa. She hadn’t wanted to accept that, but there had been nothing anyone could have done.

“I thought it was my fault,” Elijah confessed. Again he couldn’t look at his sister, but he knew what her expression must have been like. “The divorce…I thought I was the reason since we moved to LA because of my career…”

“Oh fuck, Lij…,” Hannah’s grip on his shoulder tightened and she urged him to look at her. “Why the hell didn’t you say something? This is just ridiculous.” Despite the shock of this revelation she tried very hard not to let him show how hurt she was. They had always been so close, maybe mainly because they were so close in age, had always been together and were still living together now in the same house. She wished Elijah had confided in her more and told her about his thoughts and feelings. But this wasn’t about her right now.

“I know,” Elijah said, looking at her apologetically. “I’m so sorry, Hannah. I couldn’t talk about it. It was something I had buried so deep inside me and…well, it took me a fucking long time until I could talk to Dom about my family and when I finally did, I poured it all out. I felt like I could tell him everything, you know. Maybe I needed to talk to someone who was not a member of the family…”

Trailing off briefly, Elijah let his eyes and his mind drift, remembering the day at the lake. He didn’t even notice the faint smile that formed on his face at the memory and the warm feeling that seized him. But when his eyes found Hannah’s again and she smiled back at him, he knew.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I think I can understand you a little. So…this Dominic, he’s your boyfriend?”

Elijah had no idea why that statement made him blush so hard. It just was the truth after all, wasn’t it? Maybe because he was talking about it with his baby sister? He still couldn’t quite believe he was really talking with her about Dominic. He had successfully hidden it from the entire cast and crew, but after merely a day back home his sister already knew.

Elijah nodded. “Yeah…he is…”

The dreamy look in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed. Hannah had never seen him like this, but she thought she would love to see him like this more often. Still she had to ask, though she knew the answer already.

“And who knows about you two? I mean, does anyone know?”

“No,” Elijah said quietly and the dreamy look was covered by something else. A mixture of sadness and despair. “No one may know. I don’t have to tell you what would happen.”

“Yeah…a huge scandal,” Hannah said sadly. How torn Elijah must have been feeling. Starring as Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies, realizing that he’s gay and falling in love with a man, knowing exactly that this would be anything but easy. She wished she could help him, make it easier for him somehow. But she couldn’t. Hollywood had its own superficial rules and anyone that didn’t play by those rules was fucked. She wasn’t acting or famous herself, but having a brother in the business had made her witness more than enough. 

Taking Elijah’s hand, she squeezed it lightly and looked deeply into his eyes. His earlier question didn’t give her any rest. How could he possible think that she would be embarrassed or even disgusted by him now? “Lij, I want you to know that I will never be ashamed of you,” she said firmly. “I’m not some shallow studio asshole or something. I’m not your enemy. I’m your sister and I’m damn proud of that. And I love you, no matter what.”

If Elijah had thought he had cried enough, he knew he was wrong now. But this time they weren’t tears of sadness and despair. They were tears or happiness and relief that were brought to the surface by Hannah’s reassuring words. He hadn’t realized just how much had had needed to hear them. A part of the lingering uncertainty and fear deep inside him slowly fell apart and he pulled his sister into a tight embrace. He could feel her hug him back and tightened his hold on her as the tears flowed freely.

“Thank you,” he whispered sniffing and all she could do was hold him and tell him that there was nothing to thank her for. He knew the main step was still ahead of him, but he didn’t want to think about it. Talking to his mother was something that built knots in the pit of his stomach and he just couldn’t do it yet. Revealing everything to Hannah and the knowledge that she was not judging him, that she was the best and most understanding sister in the world (what else had he expected?) made him feel incredibly happy and calm in this moment. He would not find his entire peace of mind unless he told his mother everything, but his sister was there for him and that was such a comforting assurance. It gave him courage and the much needed hope that his mother might possibly react the same way as Hannah did. They were very much alike in many ways, so maybe also in this respect. He hated that he apparently wasn’t able to tell what his mother’s reaction could be. His fear of being rejected was in his way, he knew that, but there was no other way to find out except talking to her. 

After a couple of more minutes Elijah managed to calm down again. Hannah pulled back, but only far enough to look into her brother’s eyes. She had so many questions and she didn’t know which one to ask first. So, she chose the one thing that had been whirling around in her mind since the phone call.

“Tell me about him,” she urged and smiled when that particular dreamy look returned into Elijah’s eyes. “He sounded really nice on the phone.”

“Oh dear,” Elijah chuckled, wiping the last traces of his tears away with his shirt sleeve. “Where do I start?”

“He must be truly special, I can tell,” she said and smiled again as Elijah returned the smile with that faraway look in his eyes. She had never been in love before, but at this moment she knew what it must look like.

“He is,” Elijah began, that soft smile lingering on his lips. “It’s everything about him. You know, his fascinating aura, his personality, his sense of humor…it all comes together. And he really cares about people. He cares about me and that was something I couldn’t quite grasp at the beginning. I was so devastated because I thought I had been miscast and would fuck everything up. I couldn’t tell anyone and when it was almost too late, he was there and pulled me out of my hole. I think from that moment on I really began to be hooked. And that feeling became stronger and stronger, so in the end I even told him all about mom and dad and my feelings of guilt.”

This memory, one of many they had already made together, would always hold a special place in Elijah’s heart. Pouring out everything to Dominic, all his deepest fears and uncertainties, not just concerning his role as Frodo, but most of all his parents’ divorce and his torturing self-blame.

“I feel like I can tell him everything and he doesn’t just listen. He cares and he knows exactly what to do and what to say to make it better. I can’t believe it took me so long to realize what I had been doing to myself…and when I finally got over it all and was free of all those issues, he was still there and I loved having him there. He taught me so much about myself and made me see things I hadn’t even seen before. I just love being with him, you know. He makes everything so much more beautiful and special. He can be funny and entertaining as hell, but he can also be serious and contemplative. It’s like the perfect mixture…”

Somewhere in the back of his head Elijah still couldn’t quite believe that he was really saying all these things in front of his sister, his most inner and honest thoughts and feelings about Dominic, but it felt so good to just rant along and let it all out. It felt a little like sharing his luck with the world, something he couldn’t do in reality of course. Though it made him miss Dominic even more. Hannah was smiling while listening and Elijah briefly wondered if maybe he had already said enough. No, quit worrying, he told himself. She understands. She’s happy for you. And you have no reason to be embarrassed by anything. Elijah looked into his sister’s smiling eyes as he spoke the final words, the ones that probably expressed best what he was feeling.

“It’s incredible to know that there is someone who really loves me. Not like you love me or mom loves me. Another person who feels so deeply for me and sees something in me that made him fall in love with me. It’s just…unbelievable… _he_ is unbelievable.”

Were those tears in Hannah’s eyes? If they were, she was quite quick to wipe them away, Elijah noticed, not without a certain amusement.

“Wow,” she chuckled and leaned back on her hands. “Now you’ve really got me curious.”

Elijah blushed and looked down at his hands once more. He wasn’t used to talking about his feelings, at least not this kind of feelings, but the words just seemed to leave his mouth on their own. “Hey, I expect you to visit me in New Zealand sometime next year,” he grinned, somehow feeling more carefree and relaxed now, like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “Maybe you can even get a small role as an extra, who knows.”

Hannah’s eyes were literally glowing. “You think so?”

“Yeah, there’s talk that Peter Jackson’s kids will have small cameos and Viggo’s son Henry as well. It’s like a big family cooperation,” Elijah giggled.

As exciting as that prospect was, there was something else on Hannah’s mind and she studied Elijah’s still joyful expression. Something else that still needed to be addressed.

“You’re going to tell mom?”

The smile on Elijah’s face faltered and she hated the sight. But as much as she hated it, she knew it was necessary for him to confront it sooner or later.

“I have to,” he said quietly and looked down at his hands. His fingernails had begun to recover from his everlasting biting teeth, but he was afraid their recovery would soon be interrupted. “I’m shit scared, but I have to…”

Taking his hand in hers, Hannah gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I know, Lij” she said. “But remember, she’s our mom. And you’ll feel a thousand times more relieved after you’ve told her.”

Elijah just nodded, but he couldn’t help but feel unsure and even more nervous. Their mother had always done what was best for her children. She had always put them first, she had never complained and she had stayed strong through it all, even when her marriage had fallen apart. But how would she deal with the knowledge of having a gay son? A gay son in the film business. It would require every amount of tolerance and understanding she could muster. Could she do that? Fuck, how could he possibly confront her with this? When is the right moment to tell your mother that you’re gay? Maybe she already suspected something, as Hannah did. Motherly instincts were sometimes inexplicable.

Hannah let go of Elijah’s hand and pulled him into another tight hug. She was very much aware of his inner turmoil and she wanted it to end for him as soon as possible. But that could only happen if he found the necessary courage.

“She’ll understand,” Hannah assured him, her hands rubbing his back soothingly. And Elijah hoped and prayed that she was right.

 

~**~

 

Being in the same city as his father and having absolutely no contact with him was always weird, but Elijah loved his home in Cedar Rapids too much to really care. It was family tradition to go back to Iowa for Christmas and spend it with the relatives that still lived there, meaning with Elijah’s grandparents. And there was snow in December which was very important for the holidays. In addition to that, there was another big advantage. Elijah was 1500 miles closer to England. There was still the big ocean between him and Dominic, still he felt like they were nearer here. He knew it was only in his head, but it made the separation easier to bear. They phoned every day. Dominic was surprised but glad that Elijah had told Hannah everything. He himself wanted to wait until his entire family was reunited which meant that his brother Matt would have to come home first. And he wouldn’t be home before Christmas.

Now, three days before Christmas Eve, the old Cedar Rapids home was aglow with a festive ornament and even Elijah began to get into a light tinge of a Christmas mood. Once he got over with what he had to, they would either have a happy celebration or they would go their separate ways and Elijah would be an outcast after all. Doomed to continue his life as the shame of his family. While he was standing in the doorway watching his mother decorate the tree, he was once again astounded by how much she looked like her two youngest children. Her small and slender frame, the dark hair tied back, busy and full of activity. Several lights already sat on the green branches as well as garlands that was wrapped around the tree. Right now Debbie Wood was in the midst of hanging up red glass balls. The small orbs sparkled and glistened in the sunshine that came in though the large window and they would twinkle even more beautifully in the darkness of Christmas Eve with just the fake candles illuminating the room.

It had been like this for the last three years. Their mother trying her best to make up for the loss of their father. She wanted them to live their lives as if nothing had happened. She didn’t want them to miss anything. It had been hard at the beginning, but she had managed, even if she had sometimes been on the verge of breaking down. Not physically but mentally. Her marriage had failed, but she had invested everything into the children which was remarkable because one might think that taking care of a successful child actor in the family would have been too much for a single mother. Yet she had managed to keep the balance between all three of her kids while their father had made off. It might have helped that Zach had already been grown up at the time of the divorce and Elijah had always been more mature than his actual age might have suggested. Growing up surrounded mainly by adults had caused this and Elijah knew he would never have made it this far without the love and support of his family. And what was left of his family now.

Debbie brushed a strand of hair away from her face and spotted Elijah standing in the doorway to the living-room, looking more like a lost little boy than an almost 19 year old Hollywood actor.

“Hey,” she smiled as she grabbed another box of tree decorations. “You know Santa won’t be happy when he learns that you’ve been sneaking around before Christmas.”

Elijah smiled back and finally left his fixed spot at the door. “This whole Christmas thing was so much more exciting when we were kids anyway,” he chuckled, trying to sound as relaxed and calm as possible, even if he was feeling like dying inside. He could do this. He had to do this. It was eating him up inside and he had to be free. Free of the nagging voices, the uncertainties, the anxiety. He needed his family and their support. He needed their love and understanding. That was all he wanted for Christmas this year.

“I can imagine,” Debbie grinned and handed him the box. “Wanna help me? I don’t think Santa would mind.”

Elijah took the box and could barely hide his shaking hands as he did so. His fingers worked almost automatically as they attached the balls to the tree while his mother opened another box with different ornaments.

“I’m happy to have you home at least for the holidays,” she said as she stood on the tip of her toes to reach the top twigs. “And you must be happy too. Imagine, celebrating Christmas in New Zealand. In summer,” she laughed, eyeing her son through the branches. 

“Yeah, that would be weird,” Elijah chuckled as he knelt down to decorate the bottom part of the tree. He was glad to keep his eyes down, avoiding hers and her content face. Only that face wasn’t so content after all. Debbie could tell that Elijah had something on his mind. 

“But I don’t think I would mind,” he continued, his voice finally lightening up some more. “It would be fun, celebrating with all the guys there. They’re really awesome.” It was already too late when he realized what he had said. “And the girls of course, you know, Liv Tyler who is really great,” he quickly added, struggling to achieve some damage control. What the heck was he doing? He was going to tell her anyway. Damnit…don’t make this harder than it already is…

Debbie, however, just smiled and put the now empty box down on the table. “Sounds like it. You must have settled in really well, that’s good. I remember how nervous you were when you went to New Zealand for the first time. Believe me, I totally understand. It’s all new and exciting, eh?”

“It is,” Elijah stood up again, wiping his hands on his jeans. “It’s more than a regular acting job. It’s like…moving into another country and starting a new life there.” Starting a new life indeed. Coming to unforeseen realizations and finding what you hadn’t expected to find there.

Wrapping an arm around him, Debbie placed kiss on his forehead. “I know. And I’m so proud of you.”

The lump in his throat made it hard for Elijah to get any words out, but he needed to. Right at this very moment. He had to get it all out. Proud? Probably not anymore when she learns the truth. Or maybe it wouldn’t change a thing between them? Maybe…probably…perhaps…fuck, stop it already. Dear God, give me courage. Please.

“Mom?” Just one word, but filled with so much hesitation, fear and tension, as were the blue eyes that finally found a steady look again. Elijah actually looked at his mother’s face and the words finally came out. “I need to talk to you.”

Debbie nodded and let go of him as she sat down on the living-room sofa. “Sure,” she said, glad that Elijah would pour out to her what was bothering him. Normally it took him longer whenever he needed to tell her something bad. She wondered what it could be this time. Did it have anything to do with the movies? Wasn’t he feeling as comfortable in New Zealand as he said he was? Was he homesick? Probably not since he didn’t act like he was.

Elijah sat down as well after a few more seconds, but not directly next to her. Leaning against the armrest of the couch, he crossed his legs and absentmindedly fumbled with his fingernails. They were short and abused, as usual. Fuck, he should have smoked another cigarette before this, maybe then he wouldn’t be feeling like a bundle of open nerves right now. No, he probably would, no matter what. Taking a deep breath, he still stared down at his hands as he started to speak.

“I…I really started a new life in New Zealand,” he began, knowing he should approach this carefully and not too directly. “I realized a lot of things I wasn’t aware of before. Maybe because I’m living on my own for the first time and found to myself more,” he trailed off. He was feeling hot all over and his heart was pounding like crazy. Debbie was waiting patiently on the other side of the couch, determined to give Elijah the time and space he needed to continue. This was much more than she had expected and she hated to her son so tormented, like he was about to collapse. But she tried very hard not to reach out, as worried as she was. She knew if she did that, Elijah would very likely break down completely and not spill whatever was going on.

After clearing his throat and taking another deep breath, he finally went on. And he even turned around to look at her. His eyes were big and shiny and so full of hidden fear.

“I…I met someone…”

Debbie studied his face. Slowly something formed in her mind, an idea of what exactly might be the matter. And she couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face.

“You did? That’s nice, Elijah,” she said, but Elijah, for some reason, didn’t smile back. His entire body was tense as a stick, not exactly what you might expect from your son when he’s telling you about his first love. Though this wasn’t Elijah’s first love. He had brought a girl home once. That had been about two years ago and it had ended before it had even begun. But Elijah’s behavior back then had been entirely different. He hadn’t looked like he was about to be executed.

“I met someone,” Elijah repeated, his fingers now pulling at the sleeve of his long sweater. He knew what kind of impression he must be making on his mother, but he couldn’t help it. He was struggling too much not to collapse or simply get up and run out of the room. “And…this person has grown very close to my heart…we…we fell in love…”

There. He had said it. Wasn’t it enough? Did he really have to tell the rest as well? What difference would it make? Damnit, Dom was right. You fall in love with a person, not with a gender. Who cares if that person has breasts or a penis? Did it matter? … Yes, of course it did.

“Elijah?” His mother’s voice. “Honey, there’s something else. What is it?”

Elijah nodded. The final and most important detail that would change everything. I’m so sorry…I’m so so sorry…I never meant any harm…please forgive me…someday…

“That person’s name…,” Another pause and his voice grew fainter and fainter. “…it’s Dominic.”

Silence. Had she heard him? Had his voice given in? Elijah was hardly breathing and he was terrified to look up. But something inside him broke, after the name had left his mouth and he had revealed everything. He felt lighter. He felt free. Whatever he would see when he looked up, it wouldn’t take that feeling away. That was a weak comfort, but it was all the comfort he had at that moment.

His eyes found hers again. She was staring at him, like she was frozen to the spot, with one hand over her mouth. It was exactly what he had expected to see, but he wished it was different. He wished she would say something. Anything, no matter what. Yell at him or whatever. But not this silence. Not this unbearable silence.

Elijah could feel his eyes getting wet. No, please not now. Let me stay strong and handle this. I can cry later. Not now.

“Mom?” His voice sounded hoarse in his ears, but at least he was able to hold her gaze with his own now. “Mom, please…say something.”

Finally Debbie moved again. It was just a small movement as she lowered her hand. Elijah could tell that she wanted to say something, but apparently couldn’t find the right words. After a long moment full of nothing but silence, she did say something.

“How long?” was all she managed to utter and first Elijah didn’t really know what she meant. How long he had been together with Dominic? How long had he known that he’s gay? Probably both.

“We got together last month,” he said, trying to sound as collected as he could. He wanted to assure her that everything was alright, that he was still her son. He just loved a man. But he was still her son. “He plays one of the other hobbits. We became very good friends, but after a while…we both realized that there’s more between us. I can’t even describe what exactly it is. It’s so overwhelming and like nothing I’ve ever felt before…”

She was still staring at him, but her frozen facial features had slowly gotten softer. She was listening. She hadn’t thrown him out of her house yet. That was a good sign, wasn’t it? Keep talking, he told himself as he dared to see a faint glimmer of hope on the horizon. Keep talking about him. Tell her how great he is. How happy he makes you. Tell her that there’s nothing wrong with it, absolutely nothing.

“He’s 23, from England. A total newcomer, but so very talented. He’ll be a big thing after Lord of the Rings. He’s funny and caring and loving and more than I could have ever wished for. He helped me through a lot of shit and a very hard time at the beginning. He’s just…he’s become a very important part of my life.”

Everything was said. Elijah knew he had done the right thing. Coming out to his family on his own accord. Now all he could do was wait for his mother’s reaction. He couldn’t blame her. Of course she would be shocked. But the shock would subside and she would finally be able to say something. Everything was said from his side. The most important thing was her now, but she was still mute. Elijah felt like crying.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled and looked down at his wringing hands. He couldn’t keep it at bay any longer. A tear ran down his cheek.

“Sorry?” His mother’s voice made him look up again. Her features were even softer now. Almost as in slow motion Elijah saw that she was moving closer to him. Closer and closer until her hand touched his arm. Closer until he was enveloped in her arms. She was hugging him, but it was too much for Elijah’s mind to grasp. He was just sitting there, not believing that he was really in her embrace.

“Don’t be sorry,” she spoke softly into his ear.

There had to be more, right? What was on her mind? Elijah still didn’t hug her back. He was the one who was frozen to the spot now.

“What are you thinking?” he asked and she pulled back but remained close to him. Her ability to speak seemed to be back.

“I’m worried,” Debbie said straight forward and reached up to wipe the trace of Elijah’s tear away. Then she took a deep breath and shook her head, more to herself, like she had to free her mind of something. “You already know this and what people out there can be like. I don’t want them to shred you into pieces.”

Now it was Elijah’s turn to stare at her. The same fears that he and Dominic had. The very same fears. And they weren’t feeling ashamed either. They kept it secret, but only to protect themselves and what they had.

“I know,” he said, his voice regaining some of its strength. “No one knows, only one more person and he’s a very good friend of ours. And…Hannah knows…”

Debbie just nodded, not looking the least bit surprised. The entire revelation and the new situation had left her numb at first. And the first feeling that had seized her was fear. Shock, of course, but mainly fear. She knew how hard this must be for Elijah. It would without any doubt be easier if he wasn’t a famous actor and now even starring in a huge movie trilogy. All she had ever wanted was to protect him. She had been able to protect him when he had been younger, when he had still been a kid. She had accompanied him from one movie to the next and she had kept him safe from every potential harm. But she couldn’t do that anymore. Elijah was a grown-up now and out of her motherly reach. He was responsible for himself and he had to take care of himself. She would always be there for him, but she had to let him go and allow him to make his own experiences. Debbie had never doubted that Elijah would make it in Hollywood even when he wasn’t the cute little kid anymore. He had proved that now by landing this incredible role in the Lord of the Rings movies. But how would this new revelation affect that now? She didn’t want to see him suffer for who he was just because superficial people might put obstacles in his way. She had been the first one to see his amazing talent as a little child and she did not want to see that ruined now.

“Elijah…,” Taking his hand into hers, she looked at him and couldn’t quite hide that fear in her eyes. “Take care of yourself,” she quietly urged him. “You know the business well enough by now. You can find your way somehow, I’m sure of it. Just remember, I will always be here and so will Hannah and Zach. You’re the only one who knows what’s best for you and I’ve always told you this, ever since you started acting. You gotta take what you have and make the best of it. There will always be people who stand in your way and who want to do you harm. Just keep in mind who you are and what you’re capable of. You’re no better or worse than anyone else.”

Elijah hadn’t blinked once. All he could do was listen and try to grasp the words. Those were her worst fears? Well, they were severe enough because they kept him and Dominic from announcing their luck to the whole world. He wished someone would pinch him to show him this wasn’t a dream. He couldn’t believe it, so he had to say it.

“So…,” he started carefully and could already feel another tear slide down his cheek. “You’re…you’re not…ashamed?”

He hadn’t seen his mother cry in a very long time. After the divorce she had let her guard down a few times, but that had subsided in the course of time. Now she was crying again.

“Honey…”, she pulled him into her arms once more and this time Elijah hugged her back. His first tear was joined by many more and soon he was sobbing freely. “No…I could never be ashamed of you. I didn’t raise you to be ashamed of what you grow up to be. And you’ve grown up to be a very fine young man. Your happiness means everything to me, Elijah. And like I said before, I’m so proud of you…”

Proud. Not ashamed. Still proud. And happy. Oh my God, is this a dream? Again Elijah felt something break inside of him, something heavy and crushing. The glimmer of hope that he had seen earlier turned into a warm fire and the uncomfortable heat he had felt engulfed his body and soul like a warm blanket. The built up tension finally released its grip on him and his tears served as an outlet. As he was sobbing in his mother’s arms he wondered how he could have ever thought she would react any differently. He felt like a total jerk, but an utterly happy and relieved jerk. His mom accepted who he was, his sister accepted who he was and his brother would accept it, he had no doubt now. And his father…well, he did not care any longer. He didn’t play a role in his life anymore and Elijah would not let any “what ifs” affect him. He had his mother, he had his siblings and he had Dominic. God, he couldn’t wait to introduce him to them. He wanted to call him immediately and tell him everything. He wanted to embrace the whole world, but he couldn’t, so he just kept hugging his mother as the tears slowly subsided. The future was suddenly bright and vivid. As long as Dominic and he had each other and the love and support of their families it would always be bright and vivid. Everything else was unimportant.

“Thank you, mom,” Elijah whispered when his tears finally stopped. She hugged him even tighter.

They weren’t aware of the person that was standing in the doorway now and whose face was as wet as theirs, but with a smile on it. This time eavesdropping didn’t make Hannah feel guilty.

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

“Elijah Wood? The little blue-eyed cutie little boy from The Good Son?”  
  
Even now, about two weeks after he had told his family about the unexpected development of his relationship in New Zealand, Dominic still had to grin at his brother’s reaction. Well, who could blame Matt? If it hadn’t happened to him, Dominic would have probably found it hard to believe himself. In a way it was still hard to believe, but it was reality. He was with Elijah and in a couple of hours they would be together again. Dominic’s parents had been insistent to meet the reason of their youngest son’s happiness and cosmopolitan Matt had already announced his visit to New Zealand. Dominic hadn’t expected any other reaction. His open-minded family had already welcomed Elijah, even though they hadn’t even met him yet. They knew his public persona of course, but from Dominic’s vivid and enthusiastic descriptions they could get a very good idea of what the private Elijah must be like.  
  
“He says he’s not a star and really, he couldn’t be any further away from that classic movie star image. He’s the most wonderful, adorable, down-to-earth person you can imagine and I never thought we would get along like we did from the start. We’re totally on the same wavelength and share lots of simple passions like music, videogames and movies. That helped us connect a lot, but I think what finally got us together was that we were always there for each other, which is really important if you’re working on such a movie project. You need someone you can turn to, someone where you can have a refuge, you know. He had lots of personal issues that he told me about and I did what I could to help him through it. He doesn’t confide in a lot of people, so I’m all the happier that he confided in me and learnt to trust me. Once you get through his shell, you realize just what a special person he is. He just makes everything else seem so unimportant, you know. Like these movies and everything that might follow. It just doesn’t matter anymore, at least not to me. You know I wanted nothing more than make it as an actor internationally and now that I’m starring in this bloody amazing movie, it just somehow doesn’t feel important anymore. All I can think about is Elijah and that I probably never would have met him if I hadn’t gone to New Zealand. Or what would have happened if I had met him somewhere else? Would we have hit off the way we did? I don’t know, New Zealand is such a unique place and because we’re staying there for so long and practically live our isolated life there, away from Hollywood and the rest of the world, it probably helped us connect in a very special way. I just know that if the movies aren’t a success and if I don’t make it out there, I’ll be happy because he’s with me. It’s still hard for me to understand that he really is with me, that for some reason he thinks I’m worthy of him and he really loves me. I guess it’s as simple as that. We met and we fell in love and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”  
  
It was as simple as that, and now Dominic was going back. The plane he was on lost height as a large landmass appeared thousands of feet below. The North Island. It had been hard, but both Dominic and Elijah had managed to organize flights back to New Zealand earlier than originally scheduled. Since New Line arranged and paid for the transportation of cast and crew, they had to make every effort to convince the studio that they had to fly back earlier, and not to Wellington but to Queenstown because they had to get to Te Anau. New Line wasn’t allowed to know about that of course and they couldn’t tell Peter either. Still they had somehow convinced New Line that they had to go to Queenstown for special filming work, at request of Peter Jackson. Dominic didn’t quite know how, but the studio had agreed. The only difficulty would be getting from Queenstown to Te Anau, but that certainly wouldn’t be a huge problem. Elijah would arrive a few hours later since Dominic had insisted on arranging a few important things first. Getting the cottage ready as well as shopping for groceries and certain supplies.  
  
They were ready for each other, emotionally as well as physically, and due to his experience Dominic had put himself in charge. Elijah shouldn’t have to be concerned about anything. He would have enough to do with overcoming his nervousness that would doubtlessly have him worried about a hundred things which he should not worry about. Dominic swore to himself he would do everything he could to make it as relaxed, comfortable and beautiful for Elijah as possible. He had never deflowered anyone before and he was very aware of the responsibility that was on his shoulders. He would be Elijah’s first time and therefore he would leave an imprint on him forever. If they ever broke up, which Dominic hoped and prayed would never ever happen, that imprint would still be there.  
  
But we won’t break up. Never. We’ll be together forever. Looking out the window next to his seat, Dominic let his mind and thoughts drift as the earth came closer and closer. Auckland Airport. One more stop, then on to Queenstown.  
Everything will be perfect, Lijah. Don’t you worry about anything, leave it all up to me. I’ll take care of you, just like I promised.  
  
Te Anau, in the middle of summer, offered the most breathtaking sight. The first place Dominic headed was the house of the rental cottage owners to get his own key. They would even have a rental car at their disposal which Dominic was delighted to hear. He could drive into town right away and buy all the necessary stuff for their very secluded and without a doubt wonderfully romantic week.  
  
The cottage still looked exactly as it did when they had left it. What date was it? The jet-lag was bothering him more than Dominic wanted it to and he briefly considered taking a short nap. No, not yet. There was time for that later. Right now he had some work to do. He put the shopping bags down and briefly checked his cell phone. January 8, 2000. They had been here exactly one month before. On his birthday. Leaning back against the door, Dominic looked across the living-room into nothingness, smiling at the memory. And what a special memory that was. How he had never wanted to leave that spot right next to Elijah’s warm and wonderful body again. This week would be different. They had all the time in the world, at the probably most beautiful place in New Zealand. Dominic walked over to the large window with its breathtaking view of the lake. His hand touched the glass gingerly and tenderly, almost like he was touching the face of his love, as he remembered. The lake, the kiss…the beginning of them. It was a dream, wasn’t it? Things like these only happened in storybook romances or romantic novels for lonely women’s hearts. No, this was a million times better than any made up story could ever be. He was in the middle of it. The protagonist in a love story that was larger than life itself. And how would the story end? Never, hopefully. It should go on forever and ever.  
  
The glistening lake, the blue sky with just a few harmless little clouds, the secluded garden, it would never cease to take Dominic’s breath away. Not long now and he would enjoy all this with Elijah again. Elijah, who made everything so much more beautiful, wonderful and unique. They would be where they belonged, no endless ocean between them. Just Elijah and him, in their own little paradise.  
  
Tearing himself away from the view, he first opened all the windows to let the fresh summer air in and then unpacked the food stores. Elijah certainly would be starving when he arrived. Dominic wasn’t even aware of his own empty stomach until it reminded him with a quiet rumbling. It was really time to get started because what he had planned for Elijah was not a simple meal to satisfy his hunger. They had after all a certain missed holiday to make up for. He was going to prepare a typical British Christmas dinner. Roast turkey, brussels sprout, ham, roast potatoes, cranberry sauce, nutty stuffing, sausages wrapped in bacon, and lashings of hot gravy. And if they weren’t stuffed yet, there would be fruity pudding doused in flaming brandy. They would probably be able to live on the remains for the rest of the week. And of course a few packs of Cadbury chocolate, the very best brand.  
  
The stereo system in the living-room turned out to sound just as great as it looked and soon the Queens of the Stone Age blared through the house. Dominic had bought the album when he had returned home, a worthy addition to his own music collection that was a joke compared to Elijah’s of course. But he was proud of it nonetheless and he just hoped that the gift he had for Elijah wasn’t in his possession yet.  
  
The hours passed by and so did Dominic’s jet-lag fatigue. He liked cooking. Not so much cooking for himself, but for a loved one. If the body was satisfied, then the mind and soul were satisfied as well. Just as he took the last pot off the stove and was going to set the table a knock at the door interrupted him. Dominic froze all over, nearly dropping the plates in his hands. He’s here. He’s here, he’s here, he’s here. But why is he knocking? It’s not him? Oh, please, let it be him. After putting the plates on the table in the living-room, Dominic took a deep breath and moved towards the front. Slowly, because his shaking legs wouldn’t carry him very well. Why were they shaking? Because it’s him…he’s back…  
  
The sound of keys in the door made him stop. Just a second later the wooden entrance opened and Elijah was standing just a few feet away. His big suitcase was on the floor right next to him. The black shirt made his skin look even paler than it was and the washed out jeans must have been too warm for a summer day like this. All this Dominic realized within milliseconds because Elijah immediately lunged forward and jumped into his arms. From one moment to the next, from lonesome and longing to complete and happy. Dominic held him tightly, probably too tightly, but if he was, then Elijah didn’t complain.  
  
Elijah had told the taxi driver to stop next to the main road. That meant he’d have to walk the rest of the way with his luggage, but Elijah wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t want anyone else to come near their cottage, even if it wasn’t theirs on the paper. It was theirs in their mind, their own little refuge place. Smoke had been coming out of the chimney when Elijah had spotted the house behind the trees. It had taken every amount of self-control for him not to drop his suitcase right there and then and to run the rest of the way.  
  
“Hey,” was all Elijah could utter now that he finally was where he belonged. His emotions seemed to overwhelm him and he found himself momentarily incapable of doing anything but cling to the person he had missed like hell for four weeks. He felt himself being lifted off the floor for a couple of seconds as Dominic held him even more tightly. He couldn’t hold him tightly enough. He was home.  
  
“Hey,” Dominic managed to say as he released his hold on Elijah and set him back down on the carpet. The big and shiny blue eyes were exactly as he remembered them and when that enticing mouth formed a happy smile, Dominic didn’t know how he had coped so long without getting to touch it. Lips met in a passionate kiss, Dominic’s long, slender fingers found their place in Elijah’s soft and lightly shaggy hair and Elijah’s arms their place around Dominic’s neck. Reunited and together in their little cottage. No one around, no schedule to keep up with yet, no hurry, no rushing, just peace and quiet in a paradisiacal place.  
  
Neither of them was willing to break the kiss. It could go on forever and ever because really, what else did they need? Nothing, just each other. And maybe a delicious British Christmas dinner.  
  
“Mmm…welcome home, baby,” Dominic eventually mumbled against swollen lips and Elijah opened his eyes for the first time in minutes. “I hope you’re hungry, you’re housewife’s been pretty busy.”  
  
“I am, I am,” Elijah mumbled back, his eyes shining with contentment and happiness. He kissed Dominic once again, the unshaven skin feeling rough against his own naturally smooth face. Even that feeling he had missed immensely.  
  
Dominic finally found enough willpower to pull back and take Elijah’s hand in his to lead him towards the living-room table. “Sit down, it’ll be ready in a minute.”  
  
Kicking off his shoes, Elijah flopped down on the comfy sofa and pulled his legs up. He arranged the plates that Dominic had put down there earlier as he watched him disappear in the kitchen. Only now he noticed the scent of various foods and smiled. It took Dominic a few minutes until all the pots and plates were on the table.  
  
“God, I’m so happy that everything worked out,” he said as everything was finished and he sat down next to Elijah. “That was a horrible, horrible time, even though it was Christmas,” he chuckled as he opened a bottle of red wine and put it on the table.  
  
“I was so looking forward to this week, Dom,” Elijah scooted a little closer on the large sofa until his knees came in contact with Dominic’s legs. “I practically counted the days,” he sighed as he leaned his head against Dominic’s shoulder and felt how his lover placed his arm around his shoulders. “This is gonna be so awesome. We’re living like a married couple,” he chuckled as he looked up again. “With our own house, our own garden, our own car, our own lake…”  
  
“Mmm,” Dominic purred as he kissed Elijah’s smiling lips. “And who would stay at home and take care of the kids and who would go to work?”  
  
“You’re the man in the relationship, of course,” Elijah giggled as he draped his legs over Dominic’s lap. “No wait...you’re the woman since you were cooking for the man who just came home.”  
  
“Oh, that old-fashioned role scheme might work in your home country, Lijah,” Dominic laughed. “I may be a feminine bloke, but even if we were a het couple, I’d go for equal rights for everyone. You know, this is just one of the reasons why I prefer gay relationships. You don’t have to face all the traditional gender differences and fights. We’re two carefree and equal people, right?”  
  
“Right,” Elijah smiled. “Gays have more fun.”  
  
“Absobloodylutely,” Dominic winked and pointed at the table. “And I hope American gays enjoy a proper English Christmas feast.”  
  
“You made an English Christmas meal?” Elijah gasped as he surveyed the various foods. “You’re fucking nuts.”  
  
“What?” Dominic feigned innocence. “We couldn’t spend Christmas together, so we have to make up for it.”  
  
“That smells awesome,” Elijah remarked as he took his plate.  
  
“Speaking of awesome, how awesome is your family, please?” Dominic grinned as he put a slice of turkey on Elijah’s plate.  
  
“I know,” Elijah couldn’t help the light blush on his face. “God…I was so fucking nervous and scared. If it hadn’t been for Hannah’s reaction, I don’t know if I had told mom.”  
  
“Ah, the nosy little sis,” Dominic filled up their wineglasses and grabbed his own plate. “Sometimes I wish I had a little sister as well.”  
  
“She can be your surrogate sister,” Elijah giggled as he cut the meat into pieces. “She’s dying to meet you now. She was asking all sorts of questions and mind you, she wanted to know everything! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she developed a little crush on you over the phone.”  
  
“Mmm,” Dominic tilted his head and put on a contemplative expression. “Is she cute?”  
  
“Don’t even think about it,” Elijah muttered, emphasizing every single word before breaking into a grin. “She can go and get her own lovely Brit.”  
  
Dominic laughed and ruffled Elijah’s hair. “At least it would stay in the family,” he joked before turning a little more serious. His tender forefinger traced Elijah’s smooth cheek. “Like I would ever leave you for a girl,” he said before pressing his lips against Elijah’s.  
  
Or a guy, Elijah thought as he kissed him back, one hand still holding his plate, the other one wandering to the back of Dominic’s head. It was supposed to be like this forever. He was finally feeling complete again. His other half was here and they would not part again for a very long time. No more holiday breaks to force them to go separate ways. Never again, please. Another year had just begun and filming would end in December. A long time and they would spend it together, even though their different roles would require them to work on separate locations more often than not in the future. But at least they were in the same country and that was a comfort. A small comfort, but still. To Elijah, being in New Zealand was like being in a big house. Even if he was in one room and Dominic in another one, they were still under the same roof and not too far away from each other. And that image was a big comfort for him.  
Another year. Another century. January 2000. Could there be a better date for a new beginning? A new beginning without worries, concerns and freaking out. And maybe also the beginning of a new era in Hollywood. An unbiased, open-minded and tolerant era.  
  
The dinner was delicious, but way too much, as expected. The sun was setting and the jet-lag wasn’t that easy to ignore anymore.  
  
“Let’s go to bed,” Dominic suggested after Elijah had rubbed his eyes for the tenth time. A simple and harmless suggestion, nothing more, nothing less, yet it stirred something inside Elijah that made his heart break into a race. Let’s go to bed. Tonight they would be lying next to each, nothing on their minds expect sleeping off their fatigue.  
  
But soon…, Elijah thought as he got changed in the bathroom after helping Dominic clear off the table. He took a look at himself in the mirror. He looked young, younger than his almost 19 years. So pale and fragile. So inexperienced and clueless. God, he wasn’t freaking out again, was he? Remember what Dom said. You can’t do anything wrong, not even as a virgin. No, perhaps not. But that wasn’t even the biggest problem. Not his insecurities and self-doubt. It was his shyness. Dominic hadn’t seen him naked yet. Not completely, only his upper body. He had touched Elijah’s penis as he had given him that wonderful hand job on his birthday. But he would be entirely naked soon. There would be nothing between them, no layers of clothes, not even the thinnest piece of fabric. Elijah couldn’t quite believe that Dominic would find him desirable in a sexual way. Sure, he was almost 19, but his body was nowhere near that age. He felt like a little boy compared to Dominic and he couldn’t help that feeling. He had seen Dominic’s nude upper body before, on that Sunday morning after their fountain night. The defined chest muscles, the line of hair leading down from his navel, the muscular upper arms… Why would someone like that desire him? Because he loves you. This time the voices in his head made Elijah smile. Because he loves me…  
  
“Admiring your beauty?” Elijah turned around at the voice and blushed. Dominic was leaning against the door-frame with crossed arms and a smile on his face. He was already in his sweatpants and muscle shirt, causing Elijah’s thoughts to whirl around even more.  
  
“Just wondering,” he said and looked back into the mirror. Behind his reflection he could see how Dominic left his spot and moved over slowly.  
  
“Wondering? About what?”  
  
“Us,” Elijah kept his eyes on Dominic’s image in the mirror until he could feel him pressing up against his back and his arms coming around his waist. Elijah leaned back a little, somehow glad that he had put on a shirt. It was ridiculous, but he was feeling shy. And if he was feeling shy in this situation, how would he feel once they were about to really go ahead with it? He was fucking pathetic sometimes.  
  
“What about us?” Dominic looked at Elijah’s reflected eyes as he mumbled the question into his ear.  
  
Turning around with a quiet sigh, Elijah leaned his hips against the sink and crossed his arms. Dominic knew that look in his eyes all too well as he had seen it many times before. Something was on his mind, something that was bothering him and it took him some time to say what it was. Only this time it didn’t take him that long.  
  
“We’re gonna do it soon, aren’t we?” he asked in a strangely serious tone and Dominic understood where this was going.  
  
Placing his hands on Elijah’s shoulders, he said calmly, “We’re gonna do it when you are ready, Lij. That’s the most important thing. Don’t feel like we have to rush it.”  
  
Elijah chewed on his bottom lip and, to Dominic’s surprise, his gaze didn’t falter. He kept looking into Dominic’s eyes, but a frown was on his face. He was contemplating and Dominic waited patiently for him to continue. Suddenly his eyes became softer and he sighed once more.  
  
“I don’t want to disappoint you,” he said quietly and looked down at his crossed arms. God, he was feeling pathetic. He had bothered Dominic enough with his tons of issues, doubts and concerns and how was he acting again now? Like the little insecure boy that he knew he wasn’t. Not anymore. He had left that little boy behind when he had finally accepted who he was, thanks to Dominic and also a little bit to the Smashing Pumpkins. He was grown up and it was time to finally behave like it.  
  
“Elijah…,” Dominic took one of Elijah’s hands, forcing him to unfold his arms. “I know how you’re feeling and believe me, it’s totally natural and normal. Everyone feels like that before their very first time. It’s something you’ve never done before and you think you do everything wrong because I’ve done it already and therefore know everything. But baby, trust me, every person is different with this and every time is different, especially when there’s a new person in your life. I’m far from perfect, but it’s not about being perfect anyway. It’s about doing what you feel like doing and physically expressing how much you love the other person. And that’s why there’s nothing you could do wrong. You could never disappoint me.”  
  
Elijah’s eyes had found Dominic’s again in the course of his speech and the light, reassuring smile on his face managed to calm Elijah down a little. Their fingers intertwined as he revealed that last thing that was on his mind.  
  
“You’ve never seen me completely naked before,” he stated in such a matter-of-fact tone that Dominic suppressed a giggle.  
  
“No, unfortunately not,” he winked. “And you’re nervous about me seeing you naked, right?”  
  
Elijah looked down at their hands and nodded. He was looking so adorably innocent and clueless in that very moment that Dominic had to fight the urge to just embrace him and cuddle him to death.  
  
“Lijah, Lijah,” he chuckled and shook his head lightly. Elijah looked up again and saw the twinkle in his eyes and that soothing smile. He blushed and even showed the tinge of a smile himself.  
“Again, that’s totally normal. But you know what, that will go away as soon as I have peeled you out of your clothes and hold your beautiful body in my arms. It all will come naturally from then on.”  
  
Letting go of Elijah’s hand, Dominic wrapped his arms around his small frame and held him against his chest. “And I can’t wait to do that, baby,” he whispered.  
  
Elijah hugged him back, relishing the warm, strong and secure feeling. “I love you, Dom,” he whispered. “I really do.”  
  
Dominic pulled back, but only to press his lips against Elijah’s for a warm and gentle kiss. “I love you, Lijah,” he murmured. “So much.”  
  
And with that everything was said. Elijah would take things as they came from now on. He trusted Dominic and his reassuring words and as they sunk deeper into his mind, he could feel the little boy inside him slowly crawl back into his dark corner. And he was determined to make him stay there.  
  
  
                                                                                                                          ~**~

  
  
They slept until noon. It was probably the most relaxing sleep Elijah had ever had. It was so wonderfully calm and peaceful at this place. No traffic noise, no busy crowds, fresh and clean air…a lovely man lying next to him who he could cuddle up to in the middle of the night.  
  
They had a lazy late breakfast in the afternoon and the mood was more relaxed than the evening before. Everything seemed brighter and more dazzling on this Sunday, and not just because of the warm sunshine that streamed through the windows.  
  
Dominic was lying on the sofa, his head resting against the armrest and a plate with toast in his hands. On the other side of the sofa Elijah was sitting upright with his back leaning against the armrest and holding a bowl of porridge. He had grown to love Billy’s healthy standard breakfast. It was early in the afternoon and the big flat screen TV was on.  
  
“If this isn’t paradise, I don’t know what is,” Dominic said as he bit into another slice of toast.”  
  
Elijah, who had his legs draped over Dominic’s, grinned and nodded as he moved his feet back and forth. “Mm-mmm,” he agreed as he was chewing on his porridge. Dominic watched him with a smirk.  
  
“Keep doing that and I’ll have to devour you right here and now.”  
  
Elijah laughed and both guys turned to the TV as a familiar tune was played.  
  
“Hey, bloody awesome!” Dominic exclaimed, reaching for the remote control to turn up the volume.  
  
“Oh, you’ve seen every episode at least 100 times already,” Elijah giggled.  
  
“Ha, you just don’t like how they criticize the American lifestyle, Lij,” Dominic grinned as the Simpsons intro came to an end. “Ah, you’re right. Know that one, but it’s funny each and every time.”  
  
“Hey, I’d be the first to admit that their criticism rules,” Elijah objected.  
  
“Did you already check if the water here really drains clockwise because of the Coriolis effect?” Dominic chuckled and then added with a grin. “I did, but it doesn’t go the other way.”  
  
“You really tried that?” Elijah laughed, almost dropping his bowl. “You’re so crazy. But that episode was great. ‘Lisa is right. Stupid Lisa science queen’.”  
  
“Ah, you can quote the Simpsons, Lij?” Dominic mock-gasped. “Looks like I’m not the only one who’s seen them more than a few times.”  
  
“Of course not,” Elijah giggled, dipping his spoon into the bowl. “But the best episode is the Homerpalooza with the Pumpkins as special guests and the depressed swaying youngsters in the audience. ‘Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins’ – ‘Homer Simpson, smiling politely’.”  
  
Dominic laughed. “Yeah, or Ringo Starr. ‘Dear Marge, yes, we have French Fries in England. But we call them chips.’ Or the Ramones at Mr. Burns’ birthday party. ‘Have the Rolling Stones killed’ – ‘But sir, those aren’t the’…- ‘Do as I say!’“  
  
Elijah’s high-pitched giggle filled the room and Dominic thought once again how much he loved the sound.  
  
“What an honor for them to appear on the Simpsons,” he chuckled and held up his porridge-filled spoon. “Do you think there will be a Lord of the Rings spoof one day?”  
  
“You bet,” Dominic finished his toast, put the plate on the table and reached for his coffee cup. “If you appear on a Simpsons episode, you know you made it.”  
  
Elijah swallowed the final spoon with porridge and placed the bowl next to the plate. Then he shifted and crawled towards Dominic where he lay down in the space between the backrest and Dominic’s body. There he sighed contently as he watched the TV screen without really noticing what was going on there. His fingers danced all over the rising and falling chest and when Dominic’s free arm came around him to pull him closer, he felt completely at ease.  
  
“Feeling better today, baby?” Dominic weaved his fingers through Elijah’s tousled hair. He loved this bed-look with the strands all wild and uncombed and together with the smooth paleness of the face Elijah seemed even more enticing than he already was.  
  
“Yeah,” Elijah uttered, his eyes leaving the TV and focusing on the man beside him. “Thank you for yesterday and…well, for putting up with me and everything. I know it’s not always easy…”  
  
“Ah, it’s okay,” Dominic smiled, placing his half-empty cup back on the table. “Don’t think you’re the only virgin in this world. I was once as young and innocent as you, you know. So I totally know how you’re feeling, but it’s not as horrible as you fear it might be.”  
  
“I don’t think it’s horrible,” Elijah chuckled, only to turn serious again right away. Dominic knew he wanted to say something more, so he gave him the time by playing with a soft strand of Elijah’s hair.  
  
“Dom…,” Elijah suddenly moved and shifted so that he got to lay half on top of him. His blue eyes showed a mixture of excitement, nervousness and uncertainty, and when he spoke again, all those emotions were audible in his voice.  
“Dom…let’s make love…today…”  
  
Dominic could only stare at him at first, his mind only slowly registering the words. Make love…today…Elijah wanted him to make love to him…today? He hadn’t expected Elijah to make up his mind so soon, to be ready so soon. But he needed to be ready. Physically he was, but emotionally? Of course he would be nervous and tense, that was completely normal. The responsibility that lay on Dominic’s shoulder suddenly weighed heavier than ever and he had to swallow.  
  
“Lijah…,” he breathed. He was barely aware how disbelieving he sounded in his own ears. “Are you really sure? I mean, you have to be really sure.”  
  
Was he sure? A few days before Elijah wouldn’t have been able to answer that question. But now he was. He knew he had waited long enough and Dominic had been so wonderfully patient, loving and devoted. He had given him the time and space to get mentally ready and Elijah felt from the bottom of his heart that today was the day. When he was younger, he had often wondered what his very first time would be like? Where would it happen? With who? How old would he be? Now he had all the answers, but he would have never thought that it might happen here. In a breathtakingly beautiful place in New Zealand, with such an amazing person and a man on top of that. He was ready.  
  
“I’m sure.” Pale fingers gently touched a rough, unshaven face. Dominic moved to sit a little more upright and pulled Elijah with him. They kept looking at each other, a sudden passionate tension wavering between them.  
  
Nodding briefly and faintly, Dominic pulled Elijah into a soft kiss, hoping he could convey how happy and thankful he was for all the trust and the honor of allowing him to be his first. The kiss ended, but their forehead stayed in touched.  
  
“Okay baby,” Dominic said tenderly, his fingers stroking the smooth skin of Elijah’s cheeks like they were dealing with the most precious and valuable object on earth. And in a way they were. His face broke into a smile. How often had he felt like hugging the entire world these past few weeks? His happiness in that very moment was incomparable to anything he had ever felt in his life. He had been a nobody. He had come to New Zealand. He had fallen in love with Elijah Wood who now wanted him to make love to him. Don’t wake me up. Don’t ever wake me up. Elijah smiled back and it was the most beautiful sight ever.

  
“Don’t you worry about anything, okay?” Dominic said in an excited whisper, not even knowing why he kept his voice down like this. It was only him and this stunning young man. “I’ll prepare everything.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

It took Dominic an hour to arrange the bedroom. Everything was supposed to be perfect, though he knew it most likely wouldn’t be perfect. No first time was. All he could do was make it as comfortable and relaxing as possible. His mind was racing like hell while he draped fresh sheets over the mattress and pulled the curtains in front of the window. The daylight was slowly fading and the rays that made it through the fair textile dipped the room into a cozy, dim light. Dominic took the bottle of lubricant out of the bedside drawer and put it on top of it, along with an open bottle of cold water and a box of tissues. Then he stepped back and surveyed the room. Was it romantic enough? Had he thought of everything? Bloody hell, he was almost feeling like he had his own first time ahead of him. In a way he did. It was his first time with someone he loved more than he had ever loved anyone in his life. The storybook romance impression seized him again and he smiled. Sometimes real life was a thousand times better than any made up story. Taking a deep breath, Dominic nodded to himself and left the room.

Elijah just came in from the backyard and closed the glass door behind himself. They were both still wearing their sleeping clothes which would probably make it a little easier and more relaxed from the beginning on.

“Just caught some fresh air,” Elijah chuckled, but it sounded nervous. “I struggled really hard not to smoke. You know…that would probably not be very comfy for you.”

“You know that wouldn’t matter. I take you as you are,” Dominic smiled gently and realized only when Elijah giggled and looked down with a blush how suggestive that had sounded. He joined Elijah’s chuckle. At least the ice was broken a tad bit. 

“Ready for the most unforgettable experience of your life?” Dominic asked as he slowly approached Elijah until he was in his arms. He was feeling so soft already and Dominic wondered just how soft he felt without any clothes on. Well, he would find out soon.

“Yes,” Elijah breathed, his arms coming almost automatically around Dominic’s neck and their lips touched. It was a lazy and gentle kiss that slowly increased in passion and need. Dominic’s right arm traveled down until it reached Elijah’s legs and he picked him up, one arm under his shoulders, the other under his knees. Elijah smiled into the kiss as he felt himself getting lifted up and his hold around Dominic’s neck tightened. 

“Mmm,” Dominic purred against those rosy lips. “A portable little body.”

“Better be careful,” Elijah mumbled in between heated kisses. “If you drop me, New Line will sue you.”

“Oh, I will drop you,” Dominic groaned as he turned around and started to move towards the bedroom. “In bed.”

And that was exactly where he carried him, strong arms securely around his precious load. Slowly and gently, Dominic lowered Elijah onto the mattress, their lips never once parting. Just when his back touched the soft blanket Elijah noticed that they had really made it into the bedroom. He hadn’t been aware of anything around him, only the man who was carrying and kissing him at the same time. He scooted a little farther onto the mattress and opened his eyes a crack as he felt Dominic’s weight settle against him. Dominic stopped kissing him for a moment and just looked down at the already lightly flushed face beneath him, the swollen lips, the tousled hair and the blue eyes full of love and desire. His fingertips stroked over Elijah’s smooth, warm skin. Both of them were panting slightly.

“Everything okay so far?” Dominic asked, one hand running through soft brown hair.

Elijah, whose arms were still tightly around Dominic’s neck, nodded. “Yeah,” he whispered.

“If something feels uncomfy or not right for you, just tell me, okay?”

Elijah nodded again and then their lips reunited. Dominic settled down against Elijah’s body, one leg draped over Elijah’s thighs. He could already feel the younger man’s arousal through his thin boxer shorts and his own hard-on pressed against the slender hips. Removing his hand from the ruffled hair, Dominic let it travel down, over Elijah’s shoulder and his chest until it reached his abdomen. The shirt had already ridden up, revealing soft and smooth skin that Dominic’s fingers roamed immediately. He pushed the shirt further up and broke the kiss. Elijah understood and lifted his arms over his head, allowing Dominic to remove it completely from his body. He dropped it on the carpet next to the bed and looked down at Elijah’s expectant face.

“Wanna do the same for me?” He asked with a smile and Elijah smiled back despite his racing heart. His shaking fingers grabbed the hem of Dominic’s muscle shirt and pulled it up over his head. Dominic leaned up a little to help him and watched as his clothes joined Elijah’s on the floor. Then he lowered his body again and for the first time their nude upper bodies touched. Dominic felt Elijah’s hesitation and slowly growing nervousness, so he quickly kissed him to calm down his mind. It seemed to work after a few seconds and Dominic felt Elijah’s hands on his back. Now it was time for the second step. 

Breaking the kiss, Dominic sat up. He studied Elijah’s face attentively as his hands grabbed the waistband of the boxers. Elijah’s eyes were fixed on his and Dominic could see the nervousness behind them.

“Don’t be scared, baby,” he assured as he slowly started to pull the boxers down. Elijah still found it hard to speak. His arms were bent and next to his head, involuntarily clutching the pillow above him. His pants came further and further down and he started to tremble. He fought the urge to press his legs together after Dominic tossed the boxers away. He was lying completely naked on the bed now and God, wasn’t this a fucking weird feeling? He didn’t want to, but he felt exposed and for some strange reason also vulnerable.

“Dom..,” he murmured, sounding a little helpless. Dominic straddled his right leg and looked down at him, knowing what was going on in his mind.

“Come here,” Dominic said. He took Elijah’s hand and pulled him into a sitting position. Holding Elijah’s trembling body against his chest, he hugged him tightly, his hand stroking the warm back. “I know it feels weird in the beginning, Lij,” he whispered into Elijah’s ear and tightened his hold. “It’ll get better in a minute, I promise.” He kissed Elijah’s cheek and then his mouth, glad when he felt him respond.

“You have a gorgeous body,” he whispered when the kiss ended, his hands moving up and down Elijah’s back, savoring the warm softness.

“You really think so?” Elijah asked, his eyes still full of doubt, but the trembling slowly subsided. 

“Of course I do,” Dominic smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind Elijah’s ear. Then he took Elijah’s hand and led it down to his own waistband. “Now you may expose me as well,” he grinned. “You know, you and I are pretty much in the same situation. Though I should be the scared one. My body is a mess compared to yours.”

When Elijah actually smiled at that, he inwardly sighed with relief. Elijah had the most perfect body, but of course he would feel embarrassed about showing it for the very first time. Elijah slowly pushed Dominic’s sweatpants down and they landed in a heap in the floor. Dominic moved to lie down on his back and pulled Elijah with him. Wrapping his arms around Elijah’s slender frame, the young guy cuddled up against his body and rested his head on his chest. Long fingers weaved through dark hair.

“Here we are now,” Dominic said, placing a soft kiss on Elijah’s forehead. “Both naked and uncovered. How does it feel for you?”

Elijah’s eyes were closed, his senses reduced to feeling, smelling and hearing. His arm lay across Dominic’s rising and falling chest, fingers touching and tracing the defined stomach muscles. The scent was lightly sweaty and Dominic’s calm breathing lulled Elijah into a state of serene relaxation. 

“It feels nice,” he whispered and opened his eyes again, looking down Dominic’s body. A faint, dark line of hair leading down from his navel to the pubic area where a semi-erect penis lay to the side. Dominic’s warmth and the soft, stroking movements of his fingers through his hair calmed Elijah even more.

“Is it warm enough for you in here?” Dominic asked, kissing the top of Elijah’s head. He could feel that the anxiety was slowly leaving Elijah’s body. 

“Yeah,” Elijah replied in a whisper. His muscles weren’t so tense anymore and the shiver was almost gone. And Dominic was determined to keep it that way. He grinned when something popped into his head. “Remember what Apu said when Homer came out of the shower naked. ‘Relax please. You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before. What is…’”

Elijah snorted. ”’What? I like to keep a lollipop there’”, he finished the quote, buried his face in Dominic’s chest and giggled.

“Right,” Dominic chuckled and kissed Elijah’s lips as he looked up into his face. When the kiss ended, Elijah rested his head right next to Dominic’s and they both looked down at each other’s bodies.

“You really are beautiful, Lij,” Dominic said in a mesmerized tone, his fingers dancing across Elijah’s chest and belly. “You don’t have a single mole, do you?”

Elijah chuckled. “Not as beautiful as you,” he replied, his eyes now fixed on Dominic’s penis. “And certainly not as well endowed.”

“Oh come on, you’re not bad, Elijah,” Dominic laughed, happy and relieved that they seemed to have lost the initial tension. If Elijah wasn’t totally relaxed, this would never work. In fact, it would either hurt like hell or not work at all because if it hurt like hell, Dominic would not go through with it. Not until Elijah was really completely and utterly ready. “Wanna take it into your hand?” he suggested in a very encouraging voice. 

But Elijah was still feeling a little reluctant. Fuck, what are you worried about, he asked himself. Stop being so frigging shy.

“Go on, baby,” he heard Dominic say and he slowly moved his hand from the chest down to the pubic area. He could feel more and more hair beneath his fingers until finally he reached the base of Dominic’s cock. He didn’t even realize that he was holding his breath as his fingers traveled down the smooth length and back up. It was a totally exciting and fascinating feeling and when his fingers closed around the entire piece and it grew harder in his grip, Elijah had to swallow. His eyes were glued to the sight, like he was watching the most captivating play. Moving his hand up and down the hardening shaft, he could hear Dominic take a sharp breath.

“That’s nice, baby,” Dominic tightened the hold of his arm around the lovely body next to him as his erection grew in Elijah’s hand. Elijah was careful, yet firm in his strokes and soon lost his initial reluctance. Dominic pressed his lips against Elijah’s forehead one last time before his hungry mouth found Elijah’s whose penis had started to come alive as well. Both moved to lie on their sides facing each other, Elijah’s fingers still around Dominic’s cock and Dominic’s hand wandering down the boy’s back, to the area where the enticing round globes of his buttocks began. Elijah’s hand felt so wonderful on him and soon Dominic felt himself getting dizzy with passion. He opened his eyes and stopping kissing for a moment. Elijah looked back at him, his eyes half-open and so full of yearning.

“Lijah…,” Dominic had to gather every amount of self-control so he wouldn’t rush and proceed too quickly. Keep it slow, he told himself and was surprised that in his passionate state he was still able to think that far. But of course he was. This was Elijah, his beautiful, special Elijah who deserved the best first time. Delicate fingers buried themselves in his hair as Elijah removed his fingers from his cock and pulled him into another kiss. It was a heated and feverish collision of lips and tongues in each other’s mouths. Dominic’s hand slid further down and settled on Elijah’s left buttock, drawing a moan out of Elijah’s throat. The gasping and panting increased as their erections which were trapped between their bodies rubbed together. Rolling on his back, Elijah let Dominic straddle his body. As much as he didn’t want to, Dominic interrupted the kiss. He could have continued kissing Elijah forever and ever, but he desperately ached for more. And Elijah was oozing the same longing. His lips left Elijah’s, but only to attack his chin and jaw line. Lapping, kissing and gently sucking, Dominic made his way down Elijah’s body, always mindful to carry his own weight with his arms in order not to crush him. His lips grazed all over Elijah’s enticing throat which he could feel vibrate light with quiet moans and gasps. Next stop was the collar bone before his mouth kissed down to Elijah’s right nipple which he gave a brief lick and pleasure with tender suckling. Elijah’s reactions were alluring. The increasing rise and fall of his chest, his skin which was getting more and more heated until it began to perspire, his panting and groaning, his fingers in Dominic’s hair who went further and further down. Pale, smooth skin, anywhere he placed his lips. It was dazzling. Elijah’s erect cock pressed against his chest and when Dominic reached his aim, he stopped and sat back on his haunches. Elijah opened his eyes. His lips were still lightly parted and his face flushed. Stroking his firm but soft thighs, Dominic looked down at him, his eyes filled with admiration and awe.

“God, baby,” he breathed hoarsely. “You drive me crazy, you know that?”

Before Elijah even realized it in his foggy state of passion, he felt his penis get enveloped by something warm and wet. His eyes rolled back in his head and he emitted a long, deep moan, one of his hands clutching the pillow that his head now rested on. Dominic closed his lips around his cock and felt it grow even harder in his mouth. He slowly moved up and down the shaft, very aware of Elijah’s shivering hips and his fingers that pulled at his hair. Relishing the sounds that were coming from his throat, Dominic’s skilled tongue lapped at the area where the head met the length of the penis, knowing that this was the most sensitive part. Elijah’s frantic groaning left no doubt.

“Ohh Dom,” he moaned and when those words reached his ears, Dominic fought the urge to take Elijah right here and now. Instead he grabbed his own neglected and throbbing cock and squeezed it while his mouth kept sucking on Elijah a little more firmly. He did break away eventually when he felt the pulsating in Elijah’s penis increase and tasting how the head was getting slightly salty with pre-cum, indicating that his orgasm wasn’t that far away. He forced himself to pull away from that beautiful piece of hard flesh and moved back up Elijah’s body. Their lips clashed together in a fiery kiss, their fingers intertwined and grasping each other tightly. The scent of sweat was already filling the air.

“You liked that?” Dominic’s lips which had just been on his cock formed a dazed smirk and Elijah could only smirk back. His whole body was a heated, prickling mass, longing for more and more. He nodded and whispered a husky “yeah” and felt like protesting when Dominic sat up again.

“Ready for more?” Dominic asked and rubbed his own cock that was throbbing with anticipation. Elijah looked at it and then back into Dominic’s eyes. He almost couldn’t believe it. He had come from feeling totally shy being naked around Dominic to wanting him to be inside him in such a short time. And yes, he wanted it, now more than ever before.

“Yes, I’m ready,” he whispered. Dominic smiled lovingly down at him and reached for the bottle of lubricant that Elijah hadn’t even noticed yet.

“Alright baby,” Dominic said as he opened it. “The most important thing for you is to be as relaxed as you can. Don’t be sad or frustrated if this doesn’t work immediately, we have plenty of time.”

“Okay, I’ll try”, Elijah smiled a small smile as he watched in fascination how Dominic poured a large amount of fluid on his hand and then rubbed his hands together.

“This here makes it easier and less painful,” Dominic explained as the lube warmed up in his hand. “I’m gonna prepare you as well as possible which means I will push my fingers into you, okay? Just remember, stay relaxed. There’s nothing to be scared of”, he smiled encouragingly and Elijah felt warm all over. The way Dominic was talking about it almost made it impossible for Elijah to freak out. Like it was the most normal thing in the world to stick your finger up another guy’s butt. Of course, regarding gay sex it was. And to Dominic it was. And the very thought of having Dominic’s beautiful, long and slender fingers inside him made him tingle with anticipation. Eventually Dominic lay down next to Elijah, his right hand between Elijah’s legs.

“Spread them a little more, Lij,” Dominic said, pressing his lips against Elijah’s for a soothing and calming kiss. His fingers moved towards Elijah’s anus and when he found it, he stopped.

“One finger first, alright? Hold on to me if you feel like it,” he urged and Elijah’s arm came around him, his short nails digging into his back. Dominic’s forefinger teased the entrance first and then, very slowly and gently, he pushed it into the tight and hot hole. Elijah immediately tensed up and clutched Dominic even tighter. He started to tremble and held on to him, his face pressed against Dominic’s neck.

“Is this okay for you, Lijah?” Dominic inquired, stopping with his penetration.

“Yeah,” Elijah mumbled, barely audible. “God, this is so fucking weird.”

Dominic grinned. He couldn’t see Elijah’s face which was still buried in his neck, but he decided to leave it there. Maybe Elijah would feel too embarrassed if he was actually looking into Dominic’s eyes while his finger was still in his bottom. He added a second finger and moved it in and out. The ring of muscles was tight and narrow, so Dominic coated it with as much lube as he could. He knew he had to take his time. It wasn’t just important to prepare Elijah physically. The probing movements of his fingers would also get Elijah mentally ready for the final penetration. Elijah’s eyes were squeezed shut and he pressed air out of his lungs only to take ragged, shuddering breaths to get fresh oxygen in. Dominic stopped the lubing, but kept his fingers inside.

“You have to breathe, Lij,” he panted into his ears and wasn’t quite sure if Elijah had heard him.

“Lijah?” This time Dominic pulled his head back a little to look into Elijah’s face. It was flushed and sweaty, his lips lightly parted and a deep frown on his forehead. His eyes were still closed.

“Baby, look at me.”

Slowly Elijah’s eyelids fluttered open and he looked up.

“Everything okay?”

Nodding briefly, Elijah tried to take a deeper breath and swallowed hard, but only ended up coughing. His throat felt horribly parched. Dominic reached for the water bottle with his free hand and held it to Elijah’s mouth. After a few gulps he felt better.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice still hoarse. “I never thought this would be so much work.”

Dominic chuckled at that and took the bottle to put it back on the nightstand before kissing his lips gently. “Only at the beginning, love. And it’ll be worth it, I promise.”

“I know it will,” Elijah smiled dreamily up at him and when Dominic briefly pulled his fingers out of him to coat them with more lube before pushing them into him again, Elijah loosened his hold around his strong body and clutched the pillow instead. That was a good decision because otherwise his short yet sharp nails would have scratched all over Dominic’s back in a rather painful way. Something inside his groin was stimulated immensely and for a split moment Elijah thought he might come right away from the immense pleasure of it. He moaned and squeezed his eyes shut, his throat threatening to go dry again. Dominic smiled down at him.

“There it is,” he said, moving his fingers in wider motions now, stretching and lubing the warm area inside. Brushing against that certain little knob once again, he felt himself getting even further turned on by Elijah’s reaction.

“Fuck Dom,” Elijah panted, opening his eyes a crack, his hands clutching the pillow in a death grip.

“You know,” Dominic began, moving his lips all over Elijah’s sweaty cheek, “The very great thing about gay sex is that when you get penetrated, this little baby here gets stimulated heavily…”

Elijah just squirmed and moaned as Dominic continued rubbing that very spot, and his arching back and hips that lifted a little off the mattress indicated that Dominic must have indeed found a very special little area.

“What…,” he managed to pant in between his gasping and moaning and Dominic stopped, allowing Elijah to catch his breath and come down from the pre-orgasmic euphoria. It pained him to do so though. He loved seeing Elijah in such an ecstatic state, wriggling and groaning, completely lost in the pleasure he was receiving.

“That’s your prostate, baby,” he explained, kissing Elijah’s quivering lips. “It’s like the male G-spot. The sperm runs through it when you have an orgasm. You can stimulate it through the anus.”

Elijah looked at him with wide eyes full of fascination. “Wow,” he breathed and took another deep breath. “I didn’t know that. So, men are practically meant to have sex with other men, huh?”

“Yeah,” Dominic chuckled and kissed those enticing lips again. “Unless the woman is willing to use a strap-on. But there’s nothing like the feeling of having a real, hard cock inside you,” he added with a wink.

Elijah’s eyes grew even wider. “Would you show me?” he whispered, feeling heated all over and watching his lover with anticipation. 

“Let’s see if you’re ready,” Dominic moved his fingers around Elijah’s rectal area one last time. The entrance was stretched enough to at least give it a first try. He sat in a kneeling position and grabbed the lube bottle, holding it out to Elijah.

“Wanna prepare me?” he smiled encouragingly and Elijah actually sat up cross-legged and took hold of the bottle. He didn’t look that nervous anymore, at least not as nervous as he did when he had touched Dominic’s penis for the very first time. Opening the bottle and squeezing a large load of lube onto his palm, Elijah handed it back and then rubbed his hands together, as Dominic had done.

“Right, warm it up a little,” Dominic said, still kneeling in the middle of the bed, his hands resting on his thighs. Elijah seemed to really concentrate on his task and Dominic smiled at the sight. It made him look even more adorable than usual. Then Elijah reached down and the lube-coated fingers of his right hand closed around Dominic’s semi-erect cock. Slowly he spread the gel all over the organ, feeling it harden against his touch. Dominic looked down at the pale, glistening hand which worked in such a careful way that he had to smile again.

“Hmm, that’s good, Lij,” he said with a smirk.” “You don’t have to be so careful though. You won’t break anything.”

Elijah blushed at that and looked up from his hand into Dominic’s face. “I hope so,” he chuckled and wrapped his left hand around the now hard and slick shaft, coating it with the rest of the lubricant. He couldn’t quite believe that this big, throbbing thing would be inside him soon. It scared and excited him at the same time. And he hoped he was prepared enough. Relax, just relax. Otherwise it won’t work.

“Okay,” he said as Dominic’s cock looked ready. He pulled his hand away and Dominic gave him a tissue to clean his fingers. Then he lay back down.

Dominic was determined to make this as pleasant and comfortable as possible for Elijah, so maybe a little help wouldn’t be wrong for the first time. He grabbed the free pillow that was next to Elijah’s head.

“Lift your hips a little,” he asked gently and tucked the pillow underneath Elijah’s lower back. “There, that will make it easier for us,” he smiled and leaned down to kiss Elijah one last time. The kiss lasted longer though and Dominic felt reluctant to pull away. Elijah’s wonderfully soft hands were on his cheeks, holding him close and in place and that rough but gentle tongue demanded entrance into his mouth. For a short moment Dominic gave in and just surrendered to the ecstasy that a simple kiss could create, but then he forced himself to break it. Elijah looked at him with the most loving, trusting and anticipating eyes and the sudden feeling of overwhelming luck and happiness engulfed Dominic so much that he actually felt tears come to his eyes. He quickly blinked them away. His emotions could overpower him when it was over. Shifting a little, he knelt between Elijah’s open legs which he grabbed and helped him drape them over his shoulders. Dominic’s own knees were placed on each side of the pillow beneath Elijah’s hips. His fingers stroked the smooth thighs that were pressed against his chest, and they did so almost absentmindedly as Dominic could do nothing but stare at his submissive love. 

It was an extremely sexy sight for Elijah, seeing Dominic’s upper body between his legs, his head between his knees, looking at him with desire, adoration and love. Something slick, thick and hard pushed its way in between Elijah’s buttocks and he held his breath in expectation. He felt hot and cold all over and his heart was racing like mad.

“Alright, Lij,” Dominic cleared his throat to regain his ability to speak. “Stay relaxed and tell me when something’s not right, okay? I know this will hurt, just tell me when it does and if it’s too much, yeah?”

Elijah inhaled deeply and nodded. Dominic took hold of his lubricated penis. It was still solid and ready. God, he didn’t want to hurt Elijah. He almost wished this wasn’t his first time, that someone before him had already done this with Elijah, not him. He didn’t want to be the one to cause Elijah pain. But then again, how could he wish something like that? It had to be. It would be worth it. Dominic still felt incredibly honored to be Elijah’s first. He wouldn’t want to trade this for anything in the world. 

As slowly as he could Dominic pushed the head of his cock into Elijah’s entrance. It was an easy move, mainly to get Elijah used to the feeling of having a penis inside him. Elijah shuddered, but remained still. His stomach muscles that were glistening with sweat clenched and unclenched and his hands were buried in the pillow beneath his head.

“Okay, baby?” Dominic asked, not stopping what he was doing.

“Yeah,” Elijah breathed and it sounded utterly blissful. “Mmm…that feels good…”

Dominic smiled. “The anus is a very sensitive area,” he said, relieved to see Elijah this calm and relaxed and actually enjoying it. He didn’t touch Elijah’s cock that lay erect against his belly. That would come later, together with the penetrating thrusts.

After a few minutes Dominic slowed his movements down. Elijah was stretched enough now to take the head of his cock in and a little bit of the length. Dominic knew he was big and well endowed and he had to take extra long time.

“I’ll try and go a little deeper now, okay?” he said and Elijah nodded at him, his hands readjusting their grasp on the pillow. 

Dominic slipped further inside, slowly and mindfully, until he could feel a resistance. Elijah held his breath and let it out in a shuddering sigh.

“Wait,” he pleaded, so Dominic stopped, but kept his cock where it was. The narrowness was squeezing him and it was exquisite and painful at the same time. Or more like, exquisite in a painful way.

“It’s alright, Lij,” he soothed, his fingers continuing their caressing movements over Elijah’s thighs. “Take your time. Relax, it’s just me.”

Their eyes were locked and Elijah gained not just serenity, but also reassurance from Dominic’s expressive blue-grey orbs. One deep breath, then another and another. The pain was still there, but it became bearable after a while. How much to go yet?

“How far are you in?” he asked in a less tensed up tone.

“Not quite half yet,” Dominic told him, struggling very hard not to move. 

Elijah nodded. “Okay…I think you can go on…”

Keep it slow, Dominic told himself. He didn’t have any other choice anyway. He was big and broad and Elijah was narrow. The pressure on his penis increased as he slowly pushed it in a little deeper. Elijah gasped and groaned. He was in pain, but apparently didn’t want Dominic to stop since he didn’t say anything. Dominic stopped nevertheless, giving Elijah’s body the time to adjust to him.

“Calm, baby,” he said. “Breathe in, breathe out.”

Elijah did his best to do just that and gradually his body lost its tension. His breathing relaxed, but there was still a frown on his face. “Okay,” he whispered.

With his lips pressed tightly together Dominic slid deeper into Elijah, stretching the entrance.

“Oh, fuck…,” Elijah writhed and squirmed before him and Dominic stopped again.

“Too much?” he asked in a strained, concerned voice. Elijah squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel his body open up for Dominic and despite the pain he was in, he was most of all overjoyed. He couldn’t really grasp yet that Dominic was really inside him. God, that was so inconceivable and surreal, but so very real at the same time.

“Just a moment,” he mumbled and Dominic could only admire him. Yes, it was hard work. Each first time was. Whoever claimed their first time was nothing but bliss, pleasure and flowers was a bloody liar. But once they got through the pain, they would lose themselves in their pleasure. And Elijah deserved the greatest pleasure in the world.

“We’re almost there, Lijah,” Dominic smiled, hoping he could convey his entire assurance and encouragement. Elijah smiled back, even though it looked a little pained. Then he indicated that he was ready again.

Dominic panted and slowly pushed himself further in. The pressure intensified around his squeezed cock and he emitted a long, low groan. 

Elijah gasped and trembled, but didn’t cry out. He seriously wondered why he hadn’t been torn apart yet. His breathing became faster and faster, somehow that made the pain more endurable.

“Baby…you okay?” he heard Dominic’s worried and strained voice say.

“Yeah,” Elijah managed to utter and tried to get his breathing under control. “Oh fuck…Dom…”

“I’m all the way in, Lij,” Dominic said in the most cheerful tone he could muster. “We made it, everything’s gonna be okay now.”

He knew Elijah was still in pain and his own cock was squeezed so tightly that he thought he would come any minute. Sweat was pouring down his face and chest and he could hardly take a breath. 

At last Elijah’s eyes found Dominic’s again. They looked tormented, but something in them reflected what was in his very soul, not his body. Happiness, relief, joy and love. His lips formed a small smile. “We made it.”

Gripping Elijah’s thighs tightly, Dominic felt the radiating heat under his fingers. “I love you,” he whispered and slowly pulled his penis out of the tight heat that was Elijah’s body, but only to push it gently back inside. He did this once and studied Elijah’s face intently, trying to ignore the immense pressure.

Elijah groaned, clutching the pillow in a death grip. There was something beside the pain now. A tinge of pleasure. It would get stronger, wouldn’t it? Certainly. He nodded at Dominic and uttered hoarsely. “Keep going…”

Dominic repeated the withdrawal and the gentle single penetrating move. “Lijah…,” he panted, shuddering as his cock was squeezed in the most delightful way. “Oh God…you feel so good…”

Through half-closed eyes Elijah looked up at him, his face flushed, his lips parted and his breathing ragged. His body was adjusting…thank God…He felt like with every single thrust the pain became a little less. He nodded again and Dominic started to rock his hips, not giving single but continuous thrusts. The movement was very slow and careful and after a few seconds it became at least steady.

Elijah closed his eyes and moaned quietly as he received each of Dominic’s slow thrusts. The pain was pushed into the background. His body took the thick cock in and then, suddenly, a louder groan out of Elijah’s throat. Sure that must have been his prostate that Dominic had hit. It sent shivers through him and he turned his head to the side, his eyes still closed. His body was slowly rocking on the mattress, along with Dominic’s. The pain was decreasing and the tingling feeling of pleasure took its place. It ran from his indeed very sensitive anus right through his groin and into his rock-hard cock that he wanted to touch so bad, but just couldn’t. Dominic had found a pace now that was just a tad quicker than the initial slow thrusting and it left Elijah unable to do anything but moan and quiver each time Dominic’s cock pushed into him. His prostate was nudged again and again, causing his moans to grow louder. They were making love. They were really making love. And wasn’t that the most ecstatic feeling in the world? How a body could give another body so much pleasure…When Dominic finally took his cock in his hand and began to stroke it in rhythm with his rocking hips, Elijah thought he would pass out from the sheer overwhelming feeling.

“Fuck…Dom…love you…,” he moaned in a high-pitched tone as the pleasure started to fill his entire groin and intensified.

Thrusting, over and over again. Dominic didn’t know how he would ever be able to stop. His fingers kept gripping Elijah’s thighs, his eyes were glued to his body. He had never seen a more beautiful sight. Elijah’s head was thrown to the side, erotic moans escaping his lips, his sweat-glistening torso rocking along with his own, the pleasure it was feeling so clearly expressed…God, how had he become this lucky? Elijah’s body felt so incredibly wonderful surrounding him. The damp skin of his groin kept slamming against Elijah’s slick buttocks, creating a sound that was erotic like nothing else. Increasing the pace but a little, Dominic soon found himself on the edge of his orgasm. He grabbed Elijah’s hard cock and started to stroke it. Elijah writhed, arching his back, and when he moaned those four words, Dominic couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Baby…,” he groaned and threw his head back, his thrusting getting yet a little faster as the wave began to build. “Coming…”

And with a long, deep moan his hips slowed their movements down. His jerking cock twitched and throbbed in the wonderful heat as at last his seed spurted out into Elijah’s body. His hand kept squeezing and stroking Elijah’s cock that was already pulsating as well.

Elijah was only half aware of Dominic’s semen shooting into him as the wave of his own orgasm began to roll over him. Dominic’s hand worked his cock and after a few more moments of gasping and moaning Elijah came, spilling his seed all over his lower belly.

All movements stopped.

Nothing filled the room except heavy panting. A soft tingle remained in Elijah’s groin and spread out through his entire body, leaving him with a feeling of utter satisfaction. His hands released their grip on the pillow and he had to move his fingers a little in order to bring them back to life. He didn’t think he had ever felt this relaxed and content. The cool evening air streamed through the half open window, letting the curtain sway lightly, but according to Elijah’s impression the temperature in the room must have been by at least 40 degrees. He found himself reluctant to move, not one inch, so he was glad when Dominic helped him remove his legs from his shoulders. They dropped on the mattress and the crumpled sheets. The strength that was left in him was still enough to put a smile on his face.

Smiling back, Dominic leaned forward, placed his hands right next to Elijah’s head and kissed his lips. They tasted salty from the sweat, but also so very sweet and inviting. Weak fingers tangled in the damp hair at the back of his head as Elijah lifted his hand to keep Dominic right there. Eventually they pulled apart again and Dominic frowned as he looked down Elijah’s body. Elijah followed his gaze and gasped. There was a red stain right underneath Elijah’s groin. It wasn’t very large, but clearly visible against the whiteness of the sheets.

“I’m bleeding,” he said with worry, a million horror scenes immediately forming in his mind, but Dominic calmed him down right away.

“Don’t worry, Lij. It’s alright, it’ll stop in a minute,” he said soothingly and reached down for one of the old sheets that was lying tangled on the floor where he had dropped them before placing the new ones over the mattress. He tucked them gently against Elijah’s buttocks, but despite his reassuring words he couldn’t help the guilty feeling that was nagging at him. I did that…bloody hell…

Dominic settled down beside his younger lover, his fingers stroking all over the pale, moist skin of Elijah’s torso. 

Elijah had lost his worried expression. If Dominic said it was alright and he wouldn’t bleed to death now, then Dominic was right. He trusted him completely.

“And?” Dominic grinned cheekily and Elijah, who still had one hand buried in his hair, smiled dreamily. “What do you say?”

“It was a million times better than I had imagined,” he mumbled, moving to lie on his side and snuggling against Dominic’s heated form. He didn’t mind the warmth. It wasn’t uncomfortable, it was the coziest place in the world.

“I’m sorry it hurt so much,” Dominic said, his tone changing and sounding serious and apologetic. Wrapping an arm around Elijah’s frame, he held him against him, now stroking up and down his arm. “When you think about, it’s really crazy, isn’t it? Putting your cock into someone else, moving it in and out…I mean…if it didn’t bring so much bloody awesome pleasure, one might think it’s a totally daft act, huh?” 

Elijah chuckled, knowing Dominic was only trying to cheer him up. But he didn’t need cheering up. He had gotten through the pain and experienced the most amazing feeling he had ever experienced. With the most amazing person he had ever met. How could he be anything but completely and utterly happy at this very moment? Propping up on his elbow and leaning his head against his hand, Elijah looked down into Dominic’s face that held a guilty expression.

“I don’t think I have ever been happier, Dom,” he said quietly, but with his voice full of emotions. “And it’s all thanks to you. I don’t wanna know what would have happened if I hadn’t met you. I probably wouldn’t even be here in New Zealand anymore. I probably would have left the movies and kept on living my life in denial. But you prevented that and I will forever be grateful for that. Making love for the first time was the final step into our life together. The pain was necessary. You were right, it was so fucking worth it.”

And all Dominic could do was pull Elijah into another deep, loving, consuming kiss that conveyed he was feeling exactly the same. 

“Why are you so wonderful?” he mumbled against Elijah’s plump lips.

“Guess you’re rubbing off on me,” Elijah mumbled with a smile.

The evening passed and night came, and with it the most relaxing and peaceful sleep they had ever had. Sated in each other’s arms, in bed, in a cozy cottage at their Lake Te Anau.


	16. Chapter 16

The curtains swayed softly in the wind, keeping the sun out of the cool room. Shed clothes lay scattered on the floor and the sheets on the bed were in a crumpled mess. Something warm and smooth was settled against and underneath him as Dominic slowly reached the drowsy state of awakening. He didn’t open his eyes, but he could easily picture the scene in his mind. Elijah was lying half on his side, half on his stomach, and facing the window. Dominic’s body was pressed alongside his, one arm over Elijah’s torso, his morning erection nudging Elijah’s buttocks. Elijah was still sound asleep, his breathing deep and calm. They hadn’t showered the night before, so the scent of dried sweat still lingered in the air. Dominic tightened his hold around Elijah and pressed his face into the back of his neck. The poor boy must be so exhausted. So many new impressions and experiences. Another step in his still so young life. The step from boy to man. And he had endured the pain that had been so heavy, even though Dominic had struggled to make it as pleasant as possible. His fingers gently stroked the skin of Elijah’s belly. How full of trust he had been. How utterly confident, giving his body over to Dominic, trusting him with it, through the pain and then finally the pleasure. Only now Dominic realized how much he had missed someone lying next to him in the morning. Someone to wake up to, someone to start the day with, someone to spoil, someone to have fun with…someone to love…

He turned his head slightly and placed a soft kiss on Elijah’s shoulder. Elijah excelled everything Dominic had ever experienced before. It was an incomparable feeling, simply because Elijah was an incomparable person. He was warm and soft like a girl, but also firm and strong in a way. And there was something else, something indescribable that Dominic had never felt before. A connection that was unlike anything he had ever felt with anyone. Their love was growing and flourishing with every day and so was their bond. It was an unbelievable feeling of completeness.

A few more minutes of silence. No sound except the morning singing of the birds and Elijah’s calm breathing. Then a deep intake of breath, followed by a long exhalation. The body in Dominic’s arms shifted and pushed back against his own. Dominic smiled, but didn’t open his eyes. Elijah was awake.

“Morning, beautiful,” he groaned into Elijah’s ear, his voice sounding deeper, raspier and more erotic than usual in this “just woken up”-state.

The tone sent shivers down Elijah’s spine and Dominic’s hand left his torso and moved up to Elijah’s hand next to his face. The sensation of warmth, care and total ease that had engulfed Elijah in the moment of awakening got even stronger.

“Mmm…,” he purred as his fingers intertwined with Dominic’s. “Morning, sexy….”

“Ohh…,” Dominic purred back, his erection growing against Elijah’s buttocks. “I love hearing that word out of your lovely mouth. You don’t say it nearly often enough.”

“Well,” Elijah’s voice was still sleepy, but a smile lingered on his face. “I’ve never been in a sexy situation like this…with a sexy guy…the morning after…”

“And many more will follow, rest assured,” Dominic buried his nose in tousled dark hair which was replaced with smooth, pale skin as Elijah turned around to face him. Their eyes were open now and fixated on each other. Reaching down blindly, Dominic grabbed the blanket and pulled it back up to cover their nude bodies. His hand then quickly found its place on Elijah’s cheek while tender fingers stroked his own shaggy dark-blonde hair.

“Last night was so beautiful, Dom,” Elijah said. Being joined like that, being one and a whole, in the most intimate way imaginable…Elijah had never thought it would be this wonderful. Before realizing and accepting his homosexuality, he had pictured his first time to be utterly awkward and one epic failure. Not only that one girl back then hadn’t been able to arouse him. No girl had. Elijah had turned 15, 16, 17, 18, his puberty had passed by and nothing had happened. His right hand had been all he had had, and images of girls in his mind, trying to get himself turned on. Nothing. Not until this incredible, unique, wonderful Brit had stepped into his life. Dominic just needed to look at him and Elijah would feel weak in his knees. Elijah had definitely found his place in life and he couldn’t be happier where he was.

“I never thought it could be like this…at least not with a girl,” he added with a grin.

“I never thought it could be like this with a guy,” Dominic smiled softly, but turned serious again. “I know it hurt, baby, but it’s not gonna be like that from now on. As funny as it may sound, it’s all a matter of practice.”

“Mmm…and we’ve got plenty of time for that,” Elijah chuckled and the remorseful look on Dominic’s face disappeared.

“Why yeah, you insatiable minx.”

Their lips reunited for a slow and lazy kiss, but it didn’t remain like that for long because Dominic’s erection didn’t go unnoticed by Elijah. It poked into his groin, causing his own arousal to increase. They were still lying on their sides facing each other and Dominic took hold of Elijah’s leg to drape it over his waist, bringing their crotches into direct contact. The delicious friction made Elijah’s body shiver, but his focus wasn’t on his own tingling loins. He could feel how Dominic rocked his hips against his, desperate for more touching and rubbing. Without thinking or even the slightest tinge of anxiety, Elijah grabbed the blanket and pulled it away, exposing their naked bodies again. Their mouths were open against each other, tongues tightly locked, each caressing and moving against the other one. Elijah’s hand left Dominic’s hair and started to move further down his back, exploring and stroking every inch of the warm skin. The firm muscles, the soft places, the shape of the spine and finally the hips. The mere touching of this perfect male body under his curious fingers was an incomparable satisfaction to Elijah. His hand then traveled to the front where it grasped Dominic’s rock-hard cock. All his nervousness from the night before was utterly forgotten. It was a natural act now, touching Dominic down there and feeling him touch him as well. Dominic was the first to break the kiss and released Elijah’s cock that he had been stroking for a few seconds. Instead he used his arm to pull Elijah even closer, relishing the wonderful feeling that Elijah’s hand around his cock produced.

“Mmm...Lijah…,” he sighed in lustful bliss. “Your hand really doesn’t need any more practice…”

Elijah smirked and gave the hard shaft a few tight squeezes, drawing alluring, low groans from Dominic’s throat. He was surprised by himself. A few hours earlier he had been a nervous bundle, afraid of just being naked in front of Dominic. And now he was taking charge and could even feel his body long for more. There must have still been so many things for him to try out and to do, so many ways to physically explore each other and give each other pleasure and he wanted to get to know them all. There was no fear anymore, only a free road ahead of him, void of any obstacles, panic attacks and freaking out. No more boundaries, no more restriction. They were one now, connected in a way that even they couldn’t understand. Somewhere along the way they had melted together, in mind and now in body. And Elijah never wanted to miss it again.

He wondered how he had ever managed to get by before. Elijah had never really and truly realized that something so immense and fulfilling had been missing in his life. He had gotten into acting, come to Los Angeles, done one movie after another, always concentrating on his work, the part of family that was still left, his career, his music, his friends…his messy relationship experience and his repressed sexuality he had tried to push into the background. He had convinced himself that it didn’t matter. He had his music, his mates, a privileged life, a loving mother, great siblings…it had been okay. Now he wondered how he could have been so foolish and naive. Since Dominic had gotten into focus, making him feel like someone he never thought he could be, things had changed completely. He had seriously and deeply fallen in love.

Dominic’s face, a few inches in front of his, was rosy, his eyes closed. Elijah studied him, the facial features, the damp skin, the panting lips. More, Dom, he thought with a yearning heart. Show me more. I wanna know more, experience more, feel more. With you and only you. Because there will never be anyone else for me but you.

“Dom…,” he murmured and let go of the hard penis in his hand. It took Dominic a few seconds before he could open his eyes. Elijah’s hand felt wonderful around him. He seriously thought he could enjoy this all day without having to go any further. Finally their eyes met. Elijah’s face must have been as flushed as his own and desire was clearly visible in his eyes. 

“Do you want me to…do something else down there?” Elijah asked straight away and Dominic was momentarily stunned by his forwardness.

“No need to ask, love,” he grinned and shifted to lie on his back. “My body’s all yours…”

“Mmm…,” Elijah purred and sat up to straddle Dominic’s hips. “Lucky me…”

Having Elijah sit on top of him like that increased Dominic’s arousal even more. And when Elijah leaned down to kiss him once more, his senses were utterly overwhelmed. His hand moved from Elijah’s hips to his buttocks and pushed them back and forth, initiating a rocking movement. Elijah gasped and involuntarily broke away from Dominic’s mouth. He rocked his hips on his own and their achingly hard cocks rubbed against each other.

“Ohh…Dom…,” he moaned, burying his face in Dominic’s sweaty neck. His whole body was trembling as their groins rocked together. “That feels so fucking good…”

Dominic knew he wouldn’t last long enough for Elijah to do what he was going to do if they kept this up, but it was too good to stop. The fingers of his left hand buried themselves in Elijah’s hair and his right hand stayed on Elijah’s butt, squeezing the soft flesh with each rocking motion. Elijah moaned and panted against his neck and Dominic relished the sound. The pale body on top of him was covered with sweat now and the movements of his hips became more and more irregular. Dominic bent his legs a little and began to rock his hips as well. His cock was painfully hard and he knew he would come any second now. The sensations were amazing.

“Baby,” he moaned into Elijah’s ear. “Touch us…”

But Elijah was incapable of doing anything. He was trembling heavily and his moans became louder. In one quick motion Dominic let go of Elijah’s buttock and reached between their bodies. He grasped both cocks as well as he could and squeezed. He came right away and judging from Elijah’s jerking penis and his loud orgasmic cry he followed close behind.

Elijah stopped rocking and collapsed, their sweat-slick bodies and sticky groins pressed together. Heavy panting and gasping filled the room. Elijah was still shaking, but now from the aftershock of his orgasm. Dominic held his limp body close and found enough energy to stroke the clammy back.

“Oh...fuck…,” he eventually heard Elijah whisper when the panting began to subside. “That wasn’t really planned.”

“That was a bloody mind-blowing unplanned dry humping,” Dominic chuckled amused. “But like you said, we’ve got plenty of time for practice.”

Lifting his head for the first time since losing control over his actions, Elijah smiled down at him with a content expression. “Yeah…we do…”

Another lazy kiss followed and, as much as they didn’t want to, they knew they’d have to get out of bed sooner or later. Eating didn’t seem really important at the moment, but it still was nonetheless. And taking a shower wouldn’t be so wrong either.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt so sticky,” Elijah said as he placed his feet on the carpet in front of the bed. “But it’s a good feeling. Not yucky or something.”

“If you had showered last night before falling asleep, I’d have been bloody insulted,” Dominic chuckled and slipped out of bed, stretching his arms. “That would have been sooo unromantic.”

“I guess you know you really love someone when you don’t shower afterwards, huh?” Elijah grinned up at him, determined to keep his eyes at the upper regions of Dominic’s body.

“Absolutely,” Dominic said and reached out to pull Elijah up. “And you know what, I’ve got a great idea. Let’s go swimming this morning!”

“Swimming?” Elijah raised his eyebrows. “Swimming in the lake?”

“Of course,” Dominic picked up Elijah’s boxers from the floor and handed them to him. 

“We’ll fucking freeze to death!” Elijah exclaimed, but grinned at the same time.

Dominic put on a pair of his own boxers and smirked. “Ah, come on, Lij. It’s not that bad. Besides, may I remind you that you were the first to wade into this very lake back in November?”

“That was only with the legs,” Elijah giggled and slipped into his pants. “But okay, it’s summer, so maybe we’ll survive it.”

Dominic smiled in triumph and pulled him into his arms. “And don’t worry, I’ll make sure your little hobbit doesn’t get harmed.”

Elijah brought his arms around him as well and lowered his voice to a quiet purring. “In your interest, I hope you will…”

Closing the space between them, Dominic pressed his lips against Elijah’s wonderfully rosy, soft mouth. You lucky, lucky bastard, he thought to himself as he dived into the kiss, Elijah’s naked upper body against his own. How had he managed to get where he was now? How had he become so incredibly and unbelievably lucky? Everything was so utterly beautiful and perfect that he thought it couldn’t last. Stop it, the voice in his head yelled at him. You’re together, in a gorgeous place…enjoy it and don’t worry about what could happen in the future.

Right. Elijah used to be the one to worry. Dominic had always been willing to give them a chance. And look where they were now. Things weren’t allowed to change again. Never ever. It was supposed to stay like this. But they would have to leave this place again in a few short days and then what? Filming from morning till evening, not being able to be entirely themselves, only at night when they would be alone. And then they’d have to part in order to film on separate locations. Dominic was more than glad that Sean did not know about them. He was really fond of him and Sean had a wonderful friendship with Elijah, but Dominic’s and his views and standards couldn’t be any more different. On the one side, the classic husband and father, living and working in Hollywood, promoting the good old values. On the other side, the casual, free-minded, bisexual newcomer from England. Sure Sean would want Elijah to follow his own footsteps, to marry some woman and have kids of his own. If Sean knew about their relationship, he would give Elijah a hard time and Dominic hated that thought. But that was pure speculation of course. Maybe Sean’s reaction would be the complete opposite. And besides, why would he be homophobic just because he was married to a woman? And why did it even matter? They weren’t going to tell Sean anyway. They weren’t going to tell anyone. What was it that Gandalf had said to Frodo after giving him the ring? Keep it secret, keep it safe. Exactly. That was the only way to protect it.

Eventually they pulled apart and Elijah briefly disappeared into the bathroom to remove his contacts.

“Totally forgot about that last night, but I had other things on my mind,” he winked.

Dominic took his hand as he came back and smiled. “I’ll remind you from now on.”

Elijah could tell that something was bothering him. It was probably the very same thing that was in the back of his own mind. He didn’t want to leave again. He knew that when they went back to the “real world”, things wouldn’t be this easy anymore. Not as relaxed and heavenly as they were in this paradisaical place.

They went down the path that led from the garden to the stony shore of the lake. The view was blurry to Elijah, but he knew it was absolutely breathtaking. When they reached the shoreline, Dominic let go of Elijah’s hand and lifted him up instead.

“Gotta protect your lovely feet,” he grinned and Elijah laughed as they approached the water. 

“You’re spoiling me rotten, Dom. Watch out, I might become a stuck-up diva after all.”

“Nah, not you,” Dominic said confidently and set Elijah back on the ground. The small stones beneath his feet hadn’t really hurt, but he loved taking care of Elijah, in every way. 

“Well, thanks for your confidence. Oh my fucking God…,” Elijah dipped one foot into the shallow water and gasped audibly. 

“Come on,” Dominic laughed and grabbed his hand. “It’s good for the health,” he added with a wink.

Together they slowly stepped further and further into the cool water until it was deep enough for them so swim.

“Was it this cold in November?” Elijah asked, moving his arms and legs slowly, swimming next to Dominic who suddenly and for a split second dived underwater. 

“It’s awesome!” he shouted as he came up again and blinked at an amazed Elijah. 

“Alright then. If you can do it…,” and with that Elijah held his breath and briefly his head disappeared beneath the surface. When he re-emerged and wiped the water out of his eyes, he smirked. 

“Impressive,” Dominic giggled and put his feet on the muddy, soft ground. They were still close to the shore and the calm water was glistening in the sunlight. Elijah moved over to him and when he reached him, he wrapped his arms around Dominic’s neck and his legs around his waist.

“Feels like being newly born,” he said softly as he felt Dominic’s arms come around his back to hold him close.

“We both are newly born, Lijah. In a way,” Dominic smiled and placed a soft kiss on Elijah’s cool lips. “I think there’s an old song title. A new love is like a new life.”

“Mmm…very philosophical,” Elijah grinned and kissed him back. “So, since you’re my first love, you’re also my first new life. My new life…”

Dominic felt a lump in his throat all of a sudden. The feeling of pride and honor that had seized him the night before when he had been allowed to be Elijah’s first engulfed him again. He was too overwhelmed in this very moment to do anything besides gaze into Elijah’s deep eyes. Elijah looked at him in a way that conveyed he was feeling the same. His lips formed a smile.

“You’re my new life, Dom,” he whispered, his fingers stroking the wet hair at the back of Dominic’s head. 

“You have no idea how much I love you,” Dominic murmured when he found his voice again. The small waves they caused created quiet splashing sounds and despite the coolness of the water they felt warmth run through their joint bodies that left them both speechless. The unspoken words hovered in the air. They had met, they had fallen in love, they were a couple. But it wasn’t as simple as that. What they had was more. It was so much more than what they had ever dreamt of having one day. Elijah’s first love that had caught him completely off-guard and shown him who he really was. The love that Dominic had found in New Zealand, so utterly unexpected and that had cut the ground from under his feet. It was unbelievable how far they had come, in such a short time. How they had formed something that went beyond friendship and even love. A special kind of bond or connection. It was almost uncanny how well they fitted together, with their common ground as well as their differences.

After a few more minutes of silent looks and whirling thoughts and emotions, Dominic decided to let his actions speak. He leaned in and tilted his head until his lips found Elijah’s. He didn’t have to wait long. Elijah opened his mouth and soon tongues were intertwined and lips moving against each other like two hungry people. If the water had been warmer, Dominic knew his groin would have come alive again. But having Elijah in his arms and kissing him here, like this, was satisfying enough. What more could he ask for? This moment was pure perfection. But the kiss ended after a while and the cold slowly came back.

“Let’s go,” Dominic smiled and reluctantly Elijah pulled himself away from the strong and comfortable body. They reached the shore and Dominic took Elijah’s hand to lead him back to the cottage. Elijah really had the most beautiful eyes in the world, but without glasses or contacts he was as blind as a bat.

“You want a cottage like this later?” Dominic asked as they strolled through the sunny garden. “With lake view and everything? Or a house in the town? Sure the town would be more practical, but this is so much more romantic…”

Elijah’s amused laughter interrupted his little future rant. “You’re planning far ahead, Dom,” he chuckled.

“Why, yeah,” Dominic shrugged with a smile and opened the backdoor. “Can’t start early enough. And I don’t want others to take the best offers from right under our noses.”

Elijah was glad to be back in the warm house and immediately headed for the bathroom to wrap himself in a towel and slip his glasses onto his nose. Dominic followed him and started to dry himself as well.

“I want a home like this,” Elijah said with excitement. “Right at this lake, if possible.”

“Well, after Lord of the Rings, anything should be possible, Lij,” Dominic grinned. “They’ll beg us to move here, you’ll see.”

“You could be right,” Elijah removed his wet boxers and giggled. “If we’re lucky, we won’t even have to pay for it.”

“We can afford all the mansions in the world!” Dominic snorted, knowing that this was not quite true. But speculating was definitely fun.

“Who knows, if the movies become a success, we may drown in cash,” Elijah towel-dried his hair and turned around with a grin.

“Yeah, who knows…,” Dominic leaned back against the sink, his towel around his waist and looking pensive. “It’s so amazing, Lij. How far I’ve come from the good old Hetty days. I thought the money I got back then was a fortune, but it was nothing compared to now. But it’s not about the money. It’s…,” he trailed off and ran his hand through his damp hair, obviously searching for the right words. Elijah stepped closer and looked at him attentively. 

“It’s everything. Everything’s finally going right,” Dominic continued. “For the first time in my life I feel like I’m really on the right track, you know…you are by my side and you have no idea how much that means to me, Elijah. I’m starring in a bloody huge movie, my career’s about to take off, but it would be nothing without you…,” he stopped again, noticing how emotional he had become. It would be hard to go on without tears coming to his eyes. Elijah came to stand in front of him and he felt his arms come around him.

“You deserve everything you have now, Dom. Every single thing. You’ve got some massive talent and I know you’ll have a fucking huge career ahead of you. But believe me, you are the one who has no idea what it means to me to have you by my side,” Elijah smiled and Dominic managed to smile back in his overly emotional state. 

“You’re amazing, Lijah,” he said, his hand touching the now warm cheek of his younger lover.

“No, you are,” Elijah insisted, still smiling. “And one day you’ve got to show me some of that amazing earlier work of yours. You know all of mine, it’s unfair!”

Dominic chuckled and looked down. “Ah, you don’t wanna see it. You’ll lose all your faith in me.” He couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed at the thought of showing Elijah episodes of Hetty Wainthropp Investigates, the TV series that had made his name prominent in England. Well, at least on a small level. He didn’t like his acting back then particularly much, but it had been a beginning.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Elijah urged with a giggle.

“Well,” Dominic scratched the back of his head, something he used to do when he was unsure or thinking about something. “If I ever do TV work again, it’s got to be something really good, that’s for sure.”

“You’ll drown in offers,” Elijah said and kissed him. “You won’t even know which one to choose first.”

“Hmm…thanks for your confidence,” Dominic repeated Elijah’s earlier words and kissed his still smiling lips.

 

~**~

 

Nighttime set in and enveloped Lake Te Anau in darkness. It was a silent and peaceful sight, not disturbed by a single sound. Only one room in the little cottage above the shoreline was illuminated. Elijah was kneeling between Dominic’s open legs. The cock he was holding in his hand was already hard and leaking some fluid. He looked down at the organ that stood out between the dark pubic hair. About 24 hours before he had lost his virginity. He was a man now, as he liked to state proudly, and Dominic would laugh and say “And what a man” and then he would kiss him. Elijah had been excited ever since, he wanted to do more and feel more, always eager for new experiences. But now that he was kneeling here, eyeing the large member of his love, about to do one of the most intimate acts, he was feeling excited and nervous at the same time. Dominic, his ever attentive and patient teacher, looked up at him with an encouraging smile.

“It’s okay, baby,” he said softly. “You don’t have to do it yet if you don’t want to. Just remember, there’s nothing to be scared of.”

Elijah tore his gaze away from the cock and looked into Dominic’s eyes. A small smile appeared on his face. There’s nothing to be scared of. You said that last night as well and you were right. It was the most beautiful night of my life. And I want to add more beautiful nights to it. So many more.

He looked back at the smooth piece of hard flesh in his hand. He stopped thinking. He stopped contemplating. Leaning down, Elijah lowered his head and his tongue left his mouth. His hand was now at the base of the shaft, holding it tightly, but not too tightly. Then his tongue traveled from the base up to the tip, in one slow motion. The skin was as soft and delicate as it looked. Elijah repeated the same on the other side of the cock. He heard Dominic sigh contently and that calmed Elijah down even more. Gradually the sight of the rigid, big penis lost its scary impression. Scary? Why scary? It’s a part of Dom, so what could possibly be scary about it? You’re nuts. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen…

Elijah’s mouth hovered above the leaking slit. He licked his lips briefly and swallowed hard. His throat felt dry. Then he closed his eyes and lowered his head again, the tip of Dominic’s cock sliding into his mouth. The sound that came from Dominic indicated that he had just taken a sharp breath and let it out with a soft groan. Elijah kept his eyes closed and started to move his lips up and down, taking in the upper half of the now lightly pulsating penis. It was a slow movement, up and down, up and down, soon joined by Elijah’s rough tongue that swirled around the sensitive head. He could taste something salty. Pre-cum. It was an incredibly exciting taste and Elijah was amazed by how much it turned him on. His hand let go of the cock and began to stroke Dominic’s testicles. He knew the combination of pleasuring the penis and the balls at the same time was most arousing. He had made that experience during one of his earlier masturbations. And it didn’t seem to miss its effect now.

“Mmm…Lijah…,” Dominic’s long fingers buried themselves in Elijah’s hair and he emitted and long, low moan. “That’s it…don’t stop…”

The enticingly purred words encouraged Elijah even more. He increased the pressure of his sucking. Suddenly he felt more and more hungry for this piece of delicious flesh between his teeth, his own lust and desire flowing through his body and down to his groin. They were both completely naked and Elijah reached down between his legs where his own hard cock dangled. His other hand kept on stroking Dominic’s testicles.

After some more moments of sucking, licking and fondling, Elijah felt the throbbing in Dominic’s cock intensify, a sign of his approaching orgasm. He wondered if he should do it. What would it be like? What would it taste like? Dominic’s fingers pulled at his hair, his panting and moaning echoing in the quiet room. He was close. Elijah pulled his mouth away in the very last second and grabbed the cock as it spilled its seed all over Dominic’s lower belly. Looking up at Dominic’s face, Elijah saw another thing that was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. Flushed skin, parted lips, closed eyes. Dominic lost in pleasure.

The eyes opened and Elijah felt like some invisible magnet pulled him towards them. He let go of the now limp cock and crawled up Dominic’s body, settling against it. Dominic’s arms immediately came around him, his breathing still heavy and ragged. Elijah bit his bottom lip.

“I’m sorry…,” he said quietly. “I…I couldn’t do it…at the end…the…you know…”

Dominic smiled an exhausted smile and kissed him softly. “That’s totally fine, Lij,” he said with a hoarse voice. “It’s not everyone’s taste, no pun intended. And it was perfect as it was. You’re really a natural talent…in every way…”

Elijah chuckled and let his gentle fingers roam Dominic’s sweaty cheek. “Have you ever done it? Is it…yucky?”

“Yeah, I’ve done it before,” Dominic smiled, stroking Elijah’s back up and down. “And no, it’s not yucky. It’s fantastic. Hot and salty and spicy…,” he lowered his voice to a tone that left no doubts and made it actually sound like the most delicious taste in the world.

Elijah’s eyes grew bigger than they already were. “Mmm….I might try it out someday after all,” he purred.

“We’ve got plenty of time to practice,” Dominic winked. “But until then…,” he took hold of Elijah’s still semi-erect cock and began to stroke it. 

The light in the room of the little cottage was switched off a few minutes later.

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

“Come on, hurry up! We’ll be late!”

Elijah took another drag from his cigarette as he shoved his free hand into the pocket of his jeans. He peeked into the cottage through the open front door and was relieved when Dominic finally appeared from the bedroom. He had a small wrapped up package in his hand and his sunglasses tucked on top of his head as he locked the door. And much to Elijah’s delight he was wearing his yellow “Purdue”-shirt.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, but grinned from ear to ear. He couldn’t wait to see what Elijah had planned this time. He sure was great at organizing things Dominic did not reckon with. “Had to wrap this baby up secretly and then Billy called.”

“Well, you’re wearing this shirt, so you’re forgiven,” Elijah smirked and stubbed out his clove. “Have I ever told you how good you look in yellow?”

Dominic leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. “Can’t remember. Have I ever told you that I hate kissing ashtrays?” He pulled a playful grimace.

Elijah laughed and took his hand as they walked to their rental car. “You know I smoke more when I’m nervous. And excited.”

“You wanna drive, yes?” Dominic held the door open for him with a teasing smile. “Since you’re an expert at driving on the wrong side now.”

“I am!” Elijah raised his chin proudly and slipped into the driver’s seat. Dominic joined him on the passenger side and looked around like he was searching for something. 

“No blindfold this time?” he grinned at Elijah who turned the ignition on. 

“Nope, not this time. And it’s not that far.”

Dominic pulled his camera out of his pocket and put it on the dashboard, along with the package. “Christmas presents in January. And in summer. Daft, isn’t it?”

“Totally crazy and so like us,” Elijah chuckled, driving the car along the narrow country lane towards the highway. His eyes shifted briefly and twinkled at Dominic before focusing on the road again. Dominic reached over and gave his knee a little squeeze as he studied him from aside. Elijah’s dark shirt and his shaggy brown hair underlined the glowing of his skin. That was what was most striking in Dominic’s eyes this morning. Elijah was radiating, every pore of his skin seemed to ooze brightness and light. The memory of their first stay at Lake Te Anau was as clear and vivid as ever. Dominic had watched Elijah as he did now, mesmerized by the beauty of his perfect profile in front of the breathtaking scenery. The blue eyes wide open as they took everything in. Bloody hell, he would never stop going into raptures about this sight, would he? He could look at Elijah all day long and never get bored.

“You always think of the most extraordinary presents, Lij,” he said with a smile, forcing himself to remove his hand from Elijah’s knee.

“Or at least presents you have to drive to first,” Elijah turned around briefly and grinned back before concentrating on the highway again. They approached the town of Te Anau, but Elijah didn’t drive through it. He headed towards the harbor area. “What did Billy say, by the way?” he asked.

Dominic’s eyes which had surveyed the district, trying to figure out just what Elijah might have planned, looked at him. “He asked how we’re doing and when we should meet to fly back to New Zealand. I told him we’re already here. I wish I could have seen his face,” he giggled, but quickly turned serious. “I hope that was okay?” he looked at Elijah with a sudden guilty feeling.

“Sure,” Elijah said. “He knows about us anyway. As long as he doesn’t accidentally spill it to anyone…”

“Nah, he’s not Orlando,” Dominic sniggered and frowned when Elijah pulled the car over. They came to a halt and Elijah turned the engine off. Dominic took a look through the front window. To their right the lake was sparkling in the sunshine and ahead a bunch of boats lay at a large dock. Private boats, sports boats, speedboats…it was a pretty serene sight. 

“The boat harbor?” Dominic raised an eyebrow, but Elijah just smiled and opened the door.

“Yep, come on!” Elijah’s enthusiasm and excitement infected Dominic right away, so he grabbed his package and camera, put on his sunglasses and slipped out of the car as well. 

“You didn’t buy us a fancy show-off yacht, did you?” 

Elijah laughed and shoved his own sunglasses onto his nose. “Not quite. But it should be around here somewhere.”

They entered the grass covered area that led to the boats and Dominic caught himself reaching out for Elijah’s hand, but he remembered where they were just in time. He quickly realized that his initial suspicion couldn’t have been more wrong. There were no overly luxurious yachts that super rich people needed as their personal status symbols. Sure, some of the boats looked more expensive than others, but it was on a non exaggerated level. Dominic remembered his first day in New Zealand, when he had set eyes on Peter Jackson’s house in Wellington. A normal house, like any other in that street. He wondered how the rich in Los Angeles were living. Did they all reside in their Hollywood Hills mansions or were there also down-to-earth people? People like Elijah? Another reason to see Elijah’s home in Los Angeles one day. He lived with his mother and his sister in Santa Monica and they had a guest house that was almost as big as the main house. That’s all Dominic knew about the Wood residence.

Reaching the waterfront, Elijah stopped walking and Dominic was ripped out of his thoughts. He couldn’t see the blue eyes behind the dark shades, but his mouth was smiling brightly.

“We’re speedboating today,” he announced.

“A speedboat?” Dominic gasped in surprise. “How bloody cool is that?” He took a look around the harbor, wondering which boat they would use. There were quite a few models floating in the water and one looked better than the other. Something came to his mind and he looked at Elijah again. “Don’t you need a license? Or are we going with someone else?”

“I think you need one in certain countries and it always depends on the area and the lake,” Elijah explained “Speedboating isn’t that difficult actually. You can also book guided trips on this lake, but I thought our own speedboat would be much more fun. So I rented one from a private guy.”

Dominic crossed his arms and shook his head, a grin on his face. “Amazing. How did you contact that person?”

“The local yacht club,” Elijah looked around. “We said we’d meet here.”

He removed his sunglasses and shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand. Dominic followed his gaze and quickly took off his shades. Someone walked over to them, a young woman, or rather a girl with a friendly smile. Her long blonde hair fell over her shoulders. As she came closer her expression changed. He quick steps slowed down a little and she stared at Elijah like he was an alien from another planet. Then the smile that had faltered for a moment came back, but it looked almost shy. Dominic glanced from the girl to Elijah and back at the girl. Someone’s mighty star-struck, he thought amused.

“Good morning,” she greeted them and looked like she touched the most sacred object when she shook their hands. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it! When my dad said a Mr. Wood rented his boat for two hours, I thought, hmm, that’s not _the_ Mr. Wood, is it? Ohh…,” she slapped her forehead with her flat hand. “Excuse my manners. I’m Emilie. My father couldn’t come personally, but I’ll be more that glad to show you everything.”

“Nice to meet you,” Elijah smiled. This was by far the first real and honest fan encounter in New Zealand up until now. “This is Dominic Monaghan and I’m Elijah.”

“I know,” Emilie giggled and folded her arms in front of her chest. She was even smaller than Elijah and strikingly pretty. “So…how’s filming going, if I may ask? Are you filming anywhere near here?”

“Not anymore, no,” Dominic said. “But maybe later. We’re shooting all over the country.”

The girls’ eyes lit up. “You’re from England,” she stated, like it was some holy place. “That’s so cool, people from all over the world are coming here.”

“That’s right,” Dominic over-emphasized his accent and his natural cheekiness was as outstanding as ever. Elijah eyed him from the side with a grin. Keep your charms under control, he thought. “This is Frodo and I’m Merry Brandybuck. They wanted to cast British actors only initially, but Elijah here knocked them off their feet, so they made an exception.”

“And don’t forget about Sean Astin and Viggo Mortensen,” Elijah added. Emilie looked at him with the most piercing eyes. Tapping her forefinger against her chin, she seemed deeply absorbed in thought. Elijah couldn’t help but feel a little unsure. Why was she studying him like that?

“You know,” she finally said. “I read the books a few years ago. I wondered why they would cast someone so young as Frodo, but when you think about it, it’s so much better than taking some 50 year old guy. You’re really the perfect Frodo, Elijah.”

Elijah smiled at her gratefully and nodded. “Thank you.”

Dominic observed the scene and he couldn’t have been happier. This was the first time someone not involved in the movies, not even involved in the business, said something to Elijah about his role. And there couldn’t have been a better compliment. He could see the display of different emotions on Elijah’s face. Surprise, gratefulness, embarrassment. He was surprised because he certainly hadn’t expected anyone to walk up to him and tell him he was perfect as Frodo. At least not at this point, without having seen a single scene yet. Thankfulness because this was what he had still needed. An independent opinion from someone on the outside. Sure Elijah was thinking about his breakdown in Peter Jackson’s house, just as Dominic was. How devastated he had been. And now a first reaction from a fan and it was positive. It was mighty encouraging. There were people out there who believed in him. How could he have ever doubted himself?

Draping an arm around Elijah’s shoulders, mindful that it looked like a gesture of pure and utter friendship, Dominic smiled at Emilie. “Don’t you think? He’ll sweep everyone off their feet, not just the girls. Forget Orlando Bloom.”

“Orlando Bloom?” she asked, raising both eyebrows in question.

“Yeah right, who’s that anyway?” Dominic kept on joking. “He thinks he’s the prettiest, but between you and me, you don’t wanna see him without make-up.” He removed his arm from around Elijah who tried very hard not to burst into laughter.

“And this one’s the prettiest Brit in the cast anyway,” Elijah winked, pointing at Dominic. 

Emilie grinned at them both. “Okay, I’ll watch out for that Orlando Bloom. Now I better show you your boat, huh? Follow me, please.”

When she turned her back to them, Elijah made some wild, playful gestures with his hands, indicating that Dominic had clearly lost his mind. He couldn’t suppress a quiet chuckle when Dominic indicated the same to him. They were some lunatic bunch, weren’t they?

“Here we are,” Emilie said, balancing over a narrow piece of plank and jumping on board of a middle-sized white speedboat. “It’s really easy to operate.”

“Let Dominic drive,” Elijah said. “It’s a belated Christmas present.”

Dominic looked at him in surprise. “Really? You don’t want to?”

“Nah,” Elijah smiled. “I don’t trust myself with this.”

“Alright, maybe later,” Dominic joined the girl on the seat and she started to explain all the necessary things to him. The bilge blower, the engine, the gear control, how to launch off, how to dock…

Elijah watched them from the grass area. Dominic looked totally immersed and fascinated, an excited smile on his face. All the technical stuff seemed to interest him immensely. But there was also something else. For the first time Elijah could really picture him with a woman. Even he had to admit that Emilie was a really pretty girl and of course Dominic couldn’t resist some casual flirting and firing his charm attack at her. All on a non-serious level for sure. To the public they were still single guys after all. And Dominic had chemistry with everyone and everything. It certainly wasn’t difficult to see him in a romantic relationship with a girl like this. Damnit, and where had that come from?

Elijah smiled again as Emilie climbed out of the boat and he took a seat next to Dominic.

“Too bad I didn’t bring my camera. If only I had known…,” she trailed off and blushed. “If you don’t mind of course.” 

“Well, we gotta give you the key back anyway, so why don’t you go and get your camera and we meet again in two hours?” Dominic suggested. Emilie smiled brightly and couldn’t hide her excitement.

“Thank you! Have fun!” And with that she was gone.

Elijah nudged Dominic’s side. “Was that Orli bashing our revenge?” he giggled.

Dominic laughed as he let the engine run idle to warm it up. “It was  _part_ of our revenge.”

“That girl’s pretty, isn’t she?” Elijah suddenly asked.

“She is,” Dominic said without hesitation and added in a quieter voice, “but not as pretty as you.”

Elijah smiled, but he knew it didn’t look as carefree as usual when Dominic frowned. “What is it, Lij?”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Elijah decided to beat around the bush some more. “You look really good with women,” he said rather matter-of-factly.

Dominic blinked and then it dawned on him. He looked around. Unfortunately they weren’t alone. Some people were busy with their own boats and no one was paying attention to them. Still it was better not to risk anything. So, instead of pulling Elijah into his arms, Dominic just leaned close. “Lijah, I know what you’re thinking. It’s bollocks, really.”

Elijah looked down. “Yeah, probably,” he sighed quietly. “I just couldn’t help but notice, you know…”

“Hey hey, look at me, Elijah,” Dominic urged him gently and Elijah did. His hesitant blue eyes met reassuring blue-grey orbs. “You know me. It’s just mindless, casual flirting. It somehow comes automatically, I’m often not even really aware of it. And if anything, it can only help to protect us, if the world thinks we’re straight flirtatious guys.”

This time Elijah’s smile was honest. “You’re right. I was thinking sort of the same thing. As long as we know what we really are, the public can think what they want.”

“Exactly,” Dominic still resisted the strong urge to put his arm around Elijah. “And I don’t want any woman anyway. I want you and only you.” Bloody hell, why couldn’t they be alone right now? There was only one way. “Let’s start this thing and set out to sea, yeah?”

He shifted the throttle control into reverse and pushed the gear shift. Then he grabbed the steering-wheel with both hands and looked over his shoulder as the boat slowly launched off backwards. “Okay, now I just gotta get us safely through the narrow bay and out into the open.”

Elijah put his sunglasses on and leaned back. “You look like you know what you’re doing.”

“I’m not just a good teacher, I’m also a good student,” Dominic smirked. No one was in the way, so he slowly maneuvered the boat towards the opening that separated the harbor from the lake. It wasn’t as narrow as it had looked from further away and the boat slipped easily through it. Dominic put his shades on and pushed gear and throttle control. The speedboat raced out across the water. 

“Woo-hoo!” Dominic hollered, the water splashing left and right. Elijah hadn’t thought it would be this much fun. His hair was ruffled by the headwind and he spread out his arms “Titanic”-style, not even thinking about the sappy gesture. It was just an amazing feeling of freedom. Dominic glanced at him briefly and grinned broadly, raising his thumb. Elijah raised his thumb and draped his arms over the backrest. The Kepler and Murchison Mountains towered up over the lake in the distance and only a few harmless clouds were in the sky. The boat had left the harbor far behind and was now almost flying over the water. After a while Dominic slowed it down and stopped it completely. They floated on the lake, the next boat a couple of hundred feet away.

“Man, that’s ace!” Dominic panted a little from the excitement. “This was an awesome idea, Lij.” Reaching for his camera, he took a few photos of the scenery. Te Anau was now only a small grey spot in the distance and the snow-covered mountain tops in front of them looked even more impressive from this spot. 

“Definitely better than some boring guided boat trip, huh?” Elijah grinned at him.

“Yeah, no offense, Kiwis,” Dominic said and gasped. “Stand up, Lij. I see the perfect image!”

He took Elijah’s hand and helped him move to the other side of the boat. The mountains in the background framed Elijah’s head and Dominic held the camera up. “Raise your face, like you’re looking at something in the sky. Yeah, like that, perfect!” He took a photo and then a few more from different angles.

“Do you plan to change your profession, Dom?” Elijah chuckled.

“You’re such an inspiration,” Dominic shoved his shades up and tucked them on top of his head as he skipped through the images on the camera display. He sat down again and Elijah joined him, looking over his shoulder. 

“You do have an eye for photography,” he said as he studied the results.

“Viggo must have rubbed off on me,” Dominic put the camera down again and wrapped his arm around Elijah, pulling him closer. Elijah settled against him and felt Dominic’s lips on his forehead. Could this moment be any more perfect?

“I love you, Lijah…”

“Mmm…I love you, too.”

Elijah looked up and immediately Dominic’s mouth was on his. He somehow managed to fumble his sunglasses off his nose and the kiss deepened, but remained slow and tender. Dominic gazed at him dreamily when it ended, completely forgetting about what he was going to give to Elijah.

“Ohh…I have something for you as well,” he said as he remembered and took the wrapped up package. “I won’t say I hope that you like it because I _know_ that you’ll like it,” he grinned.

“Hmm, thank you,” Elijah unwrapped it with cautious fingers. From the shape of it, it looked like a CD, so he was extra careful and gentle. It was indeed a CD.

“Stone Roses?” He studied the track list with intense interest. Dominic grinned. This was so typically and uniquely Elijah. He loved it whenever Elijah held a brand-new album in his hands. The way he handled it, like it was some special trophy.

“They’re from Manchester,” Dominic told him, his hand softly caressing Elijah’s bare upper arm. “They make alternative rock. I think they’re just your thing.”

Elijah smiled at him happily. “Thank you,” he said and kissed Dominic’s lips. “Believe it or not, I don’t have them in my collection yet.”

Leaning against the backrest, Dominic thought for a moment. “You know, you really should do something with that music passion of yours.”

“I’d love to,” Elijah said as he opened the CD case to check out the booklet. “Something besides acting would be nice. But…I don’t know what.”

“We could found our own band,” Dominic giggled. “With Billy’s guitar and singing skills, you and your good looks at the keyboard and me in the background at the drums.”

“Forget it,” Elijah laughed. “You’ll never see me in a band. I love music, I don’t wanna ruin it. No…something else.”

“Producer?” Dominic suggested. “Composer! You play the piano, don’t you?”

“Mmm…,” Elijah absentmindedly chewed on his short fingernails. He had indeed often thought about doing something in the music business, he just couldn’t quite think of anything that was far enough in the background. But maybe with the help of Dominic he could get some more ideas.

“Don’t rack your pretty head, “Dominic smiled. “The best ideas come to you when you least expect them.”

Elijah sat up. “Yeah, and you know what, I’d love to drive now.”

“Deal,” Dominic laughed and they switched places. Another driving lesson, but this time Elijah was more willing to learn. He took hold of the steering-wheel and the boat raced further along the lake. There was nothing but a road of water ahead of them. There was something incredibly free and relaxing about it that made Elijah want to drive on and on. Leave everything behind and just keep going, wherever it may lead them. It wasn’t possible, like so many other things.

Sooner or later they had to return to the harbor where Emilie was already awaiting them, her camera in one hand and her copy of the first Lord of the Rings book in the other.

“If you really don’t mind,” she asked, her earlier confidence not quite that present anymore. Of course Dominic and Elijah didn’t mind. They signed her book and posed for photos. Elijah wondered if that was a bad idea since the girl would probably spread those on the internet, but officially they weren’t even in Te Anau.

“If someone asks, just tell them you met us in November, that’s when we were filming here,” Elijah told her and she agreed, not even wanting to know why. After some more chatting, their ways parted again.

“You think the others might find out we were here by finding a photo on the net?” Dominic asked as they walked back to their car.

“You never know,” Elijah opened the driver’s side door. “We better be more careful from now on. I just don’t like refusing photos. I always put myself in their positions and how I would feel, if I was rejected.”

Dominic smiled as he slipped onto the passenger seat. “You’re right. But we could still think of excuses why we were here. I’m good at finding excuses,” he winked.

“You’re good at many things,” Elijah grinned and turned the ignition on.

 

~**~

 

Another night. One of the very few nights they had left. No, one of the very few nights they had left here. Who said they couldn’t spend the nights at each other’s places when they went back to work? It didn’t matter now. Now only two things were important to Elijah. Dominic lying naked in front of him and the lube bottle in his right hand. Elijah didn’t even watch as he squeezed a generous amount onto his palm. And, as he had done the night before, Dominic smiled up at him encouragingly.

“Don’t forget,” he said teasingly. “You’re a man now.”

Elijah smiled nervously, spreading the lube on his fingers and warming it up. “And if it doesn’t work now, we’ll practice more.”

“Hmm-hmm…,” Dominic widened his legs to give him better access. “Normally you don’t have to lubricate very time. But if you’re a virgin or haven’t bottomed in a long time, like me, it’s better.”

“It’s probably always better,” Elijah said and reached down between Dominic’s legs until he felt the round globes of his buttocks. If he had seriously thought about what he was about to do, he probably would have freaked out again. Shoving his fingers up Dominic’s butt. Crazy, but oh so very arousing. And when they actually entered the tight hole, it suddenly felt natural. Dominic sighed contently and kept his eyes open.

“Just move them around until you feel the muscles relax,” he told Elijah who concentrated very hard on his task. Making sure he used enough lube, he moved his fingers slowly in and out to re-familiarize Dominic’s body with the feeling of being penetrated. Dominic had done the same with him before his first time. He had used the tip of his cock to slowly move it in and out of Elijah’s entrance. His body had grown accustomed to the sensations rather quickly, and now Elijah tried the same with his fingers.

“You’re doing good, Lij,” Dominic said and bent his legs to give Elijah even more space. “When you think it’s enough, then it’s enough and you can try to slide in.”

“When I think it’s enough?” Elijah wasn’t quite sure if he could really tell. Dominic still felt rather tight, but the urge and need to enter him became stronger and stronger. 

“Yeah, but I think you can give it a try already,” Dominic kept his legs bent and watched as Elijah coated his cock with lube. He used an extra huge amount, thinking this would make it easier somehow. When he knelt in front of Dominic’s prepared body, the head of his cock nudging the wet entrance, Dominic’s legs suddenly came around him to pull him closer. Elijah gasped and grasped the thighs on his sides.

“Hmm…you really can’t wait, huh?” He smirked down at Dominic’s grinning face.

“Just making sure you can’t flee,” he winked and buried his fingers in the sheets. “Come on, baby. You can do it.”

Taking a deep breath, Elijah nodded and focused on his groin area. It was already tingling. His eyes squeezed shut and his breathing stopped as he slowly pushed his coated cock inside. It was surprisingly pleasant and easy. The entrance was still tight, increasing the pressure in his hard shaft, but there was no pain. Only a delicious heat that surrounded and squeezed him in the most pleasing way.

“Ohhh…Dommie,” he moaned, not even noticing the new nickname that has just left his parted lips. His short nails dug into Dominic’s thighs. Dominic smiled through the wave of pleasure he was receiving, very much aware of the pet name. It wasn’t the first time someone called him that, but out of Elijah’s mouth, especially in this state and situation, it sounded a million times better than ever before.

He was inside Dominic. For the very first time. Elijah was inside another person. A man he was in love with. And it felt so fucking incredibly good. He began to thrust slowly. Everything else faded away as he relished the immense pressure that increased with each squeeze.

“Oh fuck,” he panted, his throat feeling dry and sore. The thrusts seemed to come automatically now, still slow but deep.

“Mmm…baby…,” Dominic moaned in front of him. Elijah didn’t miss his prostate as his penis slid in and out, causing Dominic’s body to tremble and tense up. He took hold of his hard cock, unnoticed by Elijah whose eyes were still closed and head tilted a little to the side. Quiet moans escaped his throat. A gorgeous sight that Dominic enjoyed through half-open eyes.

Suddenly Elijah stopped and threw his head back. He shuddered and Dominic felt something sticky and wet shoot into him. His hand that had been stroking his cock, pumped and squeezed some more, and just seconds later his own orgasm followed.

Elijah slipped out of him and panted heavily for a few moments before he settled down against Dominic’s sweaty chest. Dominic held him tight, kissing his damp forehead.

“That was beautiful, Lijah,” he whispered. “Did you like it?”

Elijah nodded, his lungs still struggling to catch a proper breath. “No pain,” he smiled wearily.

“That’s good,” Dominic chuckled, his fingers stroking Elijah’s sweaty back. “This was just the beginning. There’s so much more we can do.”

A few minutes of silence. Dominic thought Elijah had fallen asleep when his quiet voice mumbled, “I don’t wanna leave this place, Dom.”

“I know, baby,” Dominic tightened his hold around him.

“Everything’s so easy here. If I could, I would quit the movies and move here in peace. Believe me, I would.”

“Hey hey hey,” Dominic placed a gentle finger underneath Elijah’s chin and made him look up. “You know I wouldn’t let you. You love acting and you finally love playing Frodo. But I promise you, Lij, I’ll try my best to make it as easy as possible for us out there. I made several promises to myself a few months ago. To always look after you and take care of you. And that’s what I will do.”

Elijah looked deeply touched by those words as he gazed up into Dominic’s eyes.

“And I’ll always take care of you….” His pale fingers danced over Dominic’s lightly stubbly cheek before he pressed his lips against those of his devoted lover. How could he ever be scared again with this man by his side? He had trusted him so far, with everything, his most inner heart and soul, and he would continue doing so. No matter what. 

Just if he had known what was really lying ahead of them and what fate had in store for them, he very likely wouldn’t have been so confident.

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

_The gold road's sure a long road_

_winds on through the hills for fifteen days_

_The pack on my back is achin'_

_the straps seem to cut me like a knife_

_The gold road's sure a long road_

_winds on through the hills for fifteen days_

_The pack on my back is achin'_

_the straps seem to cut me like a knife_

 

Elijah felt the lyrics run right through him, something that only happened when he felt really connected to what he was listening to. He owned more CDs than he could count, but that didn’t mean that all of them were equally important to him. There were bands, singers and albums which he considered geniuses because they were able to reach out to him with their music, like they were talking to him and him alone, or like they were looking right into his soul and expressed what he was thinking and feeling. And there were artists that simply entertained him. The Stone Roses were clearly in the first category. Dominic had gotten him the ten year anniversary edition that had been released just the year before, in 1999. It contained a couple of additional tracks and Dominic had probably known that Elijah would love it. He grinned at that thought. He knew he was a little crazy-obsessed in this respect. He always had to own every special, extra and deluxe edition of the CDs he already had in his collection.

 

_I'm no clown, I won't back down_

_I don't need you to tell me what's goin' down_

_down, down, down, down, da down, down, down_

_down, down, down, down, da down, down, down_

 

As he was sitting in his armchair by the window, looking out at the Wellington scenery, Elijah thought about how much the song lyrics reminded him of Frodo in a certain way. It wasn’t exactly a gold road Frodo and Sam were on, but the effort and the struggle to make it were visibly described in the words. Elijah wasn’t surprised that Dominic had known he would like this band. Music was the main interest they had bonded over at the beginning and by now Dominic could tell where Elijah’s passion lay most of all. He took a sip from his coffee cup and smiled. Dominic had said good-bye a few hours ago after spending the night at his place. They had been lying snuggled against each other, talking, giggling and kissing as they relived the week in the cottage. So many beautiful memories to last them a lifetime. Saying farewell to the place had felt like a painful stab into Elijah’s heart.

“We’ll be back, baby,” Dominic had said and pulled him into a tight embrace when they took a last look at the house. And Elijah had no doubt about that.

The doorbell rang. Elijah got up and turned the volume of the stereo system down. Then he put his cup on the table and moved to open the door. He knew who it was, but he didn’t quite know if he should feel happy or nervous.

“Hey!” Sean’s brightly smiling face greeted him. He had a script copy in his hand and held it tight as Elijah hugged him.

“Hello Sean,” Elijah smiled, but found it rather hard to look into Sean’s eyes. So much had happened since they had last seen each other, things that would probably make Sean’s face flush with shame and embarrassment if he knew them all. But he didn’t, so Elijah tried his best to be the Elijah that Sean knew and had become friends with.

“A new millennium, a new year of filming,” Sean stepped into the hallway. Elijah closed the door behind him.

“Yeah,” Elijah chuckled, leading him into the living-room. “I’ve got a good feeling about this year. I used to believe that the world would come to an end on New Year’s 2000. Everyone made such a fuss, especially Hannah, until I started to believe it myself.”

“Really?” Sean giggled, sitting down on the couch and dropping the script on the coffee table. “That’s cute. You’re so naive sometimes.”

“Shut up!” Elijah laughed and got another cup of coffee for Sean from the kitchen. He wouldn’t have called himself naive. Who knew, maybe the world could have come to an end. Elijah had a pretty vivid imagination and there was more than black and white to this earth.

“Thank you,” Sean said as he took the cup. He wanted to do some more dialect training and scene rehearsals with Elijah, but that wasn’t everything. He was here to clear up a few things that confused the hell out of him. He watched as his friend picked up the script and set down next to him. Elijah’s eyes were focused on the lines, a frown on his forehead showing how concentrated he was. 

“I really don’t get why we learn all the lines when they get changed the next morning anyway,” Elijah suddenly chuckled and looked up again. When he found Sean staring at him in a rather awkward way, the frown reappeared. “Everything okay?”

Sean began to smile and strangely that concerned Elijah instead of calming him down.

“How was your New Year’s?” Sean wanted to know and drank some more coffee.

Elijah fingers absentmindedly fumbled with the script pages in his lap. “Uhm, I already told you. I was in Cedar Rapids with my family.” It was just a question, right? Stop being so frigging nervous.

“Hmm,” Sean gulped down the hot fluid and placed the cup on the table. Then he turned his entire body around to face Elijah and his eyes looked interested. Or more like prying. However, it did not make Elijah feel particularly comfortable. He spotted his cigarettes on the coffee table. Should he maybe excuse himself for a smoke?

“And when did Pete tell you to come back earlier?”

Fucking hell…He found out, didn’t he? The room suddenly seemed awfully cold to Elijah, but he forced himself not to break away from Sean’s inquiring eyes.

“A few days after New Year’s,” he simply replied. He wished for something cool to drench his dry throat.

Sean nodded and briefly glanced at the script in Elijah’s shaking hands. “Peter said he didn’t call back earlier.”

Elijah stared at him like he had just been hit by lightning. Oh Lij…what is it with you? Why don’t you talk to me? What’s going on? Sean wanted to ask so many questions, but he could tell how shocked Elijah was and didn’t want to make him feel any more uncomfortable.

Fucking awesome. Brilliant plan, really. That was the first sarcastic thought that came to Elijah’s mind. It had been so clear that Sean would find out one day. And then everyone would know. And whose fault was it? Elijah’s and only his. Alright, now you better confess everything. Every dirty detail, you barely legal, naive and immature kid…The voices were still present inside his head, Elijah realized with a heavy sigh. And maybe they were right. No, stop it. He wasn’t a kid anymore. Dominic had said so. He loved Elijah. They had a real, grown-up relationship. Maybe he could save the situation somehow. There was still the very unlikely possibility that...or maybe….would Sean believe him? A sudden idea popped into Elijah’s. Could he really go for it? Fucking shit…You better get your shit together and do what you do best. Act.

“You’re right, Sean,” he sighed and wondered how he managed to keep looking into those prying green eyes. “Pete didn’t call me back. He didn’t call Dom back either…”

Sean’s face was like a stony mask. He didn’t reveal any emotions. But on the inside he was boiling. Here we go. Finally. What the hell is going on? Sure, it must be something serious, judging by Elijah’s obvious nervousness. And he couldn’t help but think that Dominic played a major role in this.

What is he thinking? Elijah bit his bottom lip as he studied the blank face opposite him. Well, Sean better prepare himself to be lied to like he had never been lied to before. Elijah felt awfully crappy in this very moment and, above all, torn in two. Sean was a good friend, but he wouldn’t understand. No one would ever understand what was between Dominic and him. No one would ever understand how much Dominic meant to him. He was what mattered most to Elijah. And if protecting their relationship required lying, then it was like that. Taking a deep breath, Elijah put on his most regretful expression.

“This is too bad,” he sighed again. “It was supposed to be a secret, but I guess we didn’t plan it very well.” 

Elijah was surprised how easy this was. He just went on and on and wasn’t even aware of the embarrassed smile on his face. Sean’s eyes seemed to soften a little. That must be good sign, right?

“We’re planning something…as a…well…a surprise…for your birthday.”

Sean blinked a few times and raised his eyebrows. Then he grinned and Elijah felt more than relieved. “What? You and Dom are planning something? For me?”

“Yeah,” Elijah’s smile didn’t falter. He was talented, wasn’t he? “And Billy.”

“Wow,” Sean leaned back and crossed his arms. “I feel honored, Lij. Do they have a surprise for you, too? It’s your birthday next week. Damn, I should hook up with them!”

Elijah shrugged and reached for his now lukewarm coffee. His hands were still shaking and he tried to hide it as well as he could. “Maybe. But you know, no word to Dom and Billy. They would kill me. You already know more than you should.”

“Of course not,” Sean chuckled. “Alright, enough with the fun, back to work.”

“To work,” Elijah nodded. Despite the safe situation he felt horrible inside. If he continued living like this, he would soon be surrounded by a web of lies and excuses. And that was not a very pleasant thought. 

Dominic would leave for the South Island again tomorrow, to film some Edoras scenes with Billy, Viggo, Orlando, John, Bernard Hill and Ian McKellen. Elijah’s first meeting with Ian had been a classic example of star-struck awe. Ian was a British acting legend. Elijah had always admired him and when he had finally gotten to know him a couple of days earlier, it had been like a dream come true. There was something intimidating about Ian, but he was also like a wise old friend. Viggo had become a surrogate father to Elijah and he thought Ian could become another grandfather. When they had shaken hands and Ian pulled him into a friendly hug, Elijah had almost forgotten that Ian was homosexual as well. But what had he expected? Ian didn’t look gay and he didn’t act gay. But then again, Elijah hadn’t spent that much time with him yet. He hated himself for this cliché thinking. Maybe Sean was right. He was naive sometimes. What did “looking gay” or “acting gay” mean anyway? Nothing. Everyone was different. Elijah hadn’t talked to Dominic about it yet, but he thought if someone could understand their situation, it was Ian. The problem was that it was still way too early. Elijah had only known him for a few days. He needed time in order to develop enough trust to confide in him. They would soon shoot their first scenes together and Elijah was very much looking forward to it. And, as weird as it may seem, he had felt relieved since Ian’s arrival. Because now he wasn’t the only homosexual member of the Fellowship anymore.

 

~**~

 

“Thank you very much, gentlemen! See you after lunch!” the director assistant announced through her megaphone.

Dominic rubbed his fake Merry belly. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was. They had been shooting for a few hours, but to him the time had seemed endless. It was weird not to film with the four hobbits together and it was more than weird not to film with Elijah. But they better get used to it soon enough. It would occur more and more often in the next months. Billy was still there, but Dominic and his best friend would have separate shoots as well. They had just done the scene with Gandalf deciding to take Pippin with him to Minas Tirith. Dominic knew he needed to learn how to separate his work from his private life which was anything but easy yet. What troubled him most was the thought of Elijah in Wellington. With Sean. Why did that thought concern him so much? Elijah and Sean would spend a lot of time together soon, just like Dominic and Billy, simply because their roles required this. And Sean was Elijah’s friend. They would be fine. Yeah, great friendship that is if we’re scared to tell him the truth, Dominic thought with a sigh. But there was nothing they could do about it. Right now Dominic wanted something inside his stomach and a phone call with Elijah.

“Hey, did you know there’s a town called Springfield somewhere around here?” Billy came up behind him, chewing on an apple. “You should like that,” he winked.

“There’s a Springfield in every English speaking country, isn’t there?” Dominic chuckled and shoved his hands into the pockets of his hobbit pants. “There’s also a Woodstock up in the north. Elijah should like that.”

Billy grinned and bit into his apple. Dominic was always able to make every topic about Elijah. Not that he minded. It was typical behavior when you were newly in love and Dominic wasn’t any different. Billy liked the way his friend’s eyes used to sparkle whenever Elijah’s name was mentioned. But above all he liked the look in Elijah’s eyes when he glanced at Dominic and thought nobody noticed. But Billy did. Every time. It was almost unavoidable. Billy wondered if really no one else suspected anything. Probably not since they might very easily interpret it as deep friendship. After all the whole bunch of them was rather touchy-feely with one another.

“Ah, just like Plymouth, Mt. Victoria, Stratford or the Cook Strait, another heritage of us Brits.” 

Dominic and Billy involuntarily jumped as two large hands settled on their shoulders all of a sudden. They turned around and started to laugh, embarrassed by themselves. They hadn’t even noticed Ian coming up behind them.

“Indeed,” Dominic smiled up at him. “Sometimes it seems like the Brits colonized the whole world.”

“And I’m not so sure if that’s a good thing,” Billy added.

Running a hand through his fake wizard beard, Ian nodded. “Well, our infamous Captain Cook sure initiated the European colonization of New Zealand and the bloody wars between settlers and Maori. But the Brits in Australia were even more inhuman towards the Aborigines…”

Dominic and Billy listened intently. Ian was a fascinating person. He wasn’t just an extraordinary actor, but also well educated in many different topics. He and John were like the wise but cool grandfather and uncle of the Fellowship. They knew the most interesting stories, facts and anecdotes. They had been in the movie business like for ages. The four hobbits and Orlando could sit and listen to them for hours. They didn’t know Ian as well as John yet. Ian had joined them just this month, but he was one of those people you warm up to rather quickly and easily.

“But enough for now, let’s get some lunch as long as we still have the chance,” Ian suggested in his calm and caring tone. 

The Edoras set was located on the South Island, on a rocky outcrop on the Canterbury Plains. It was the largest plain in New Zealand. Edoras itself was built on top of Mt. Sunday, a remote rocky hill in the middle of the flat grassland plain. It was hemmed by the massive snow-covered mountains of the Southern Alps.

It was a paradise, especially for Dominic and Viggo, the passionate photographers. But it also made Dominic wish even more that Elijah was here as well.

“So, how does Sir Ian like it here so far?” Viggo asked now, as they were sitting around the table in the catering section. His sword was tucked in his belt and one hand held the hilt, almost as if to protect it. How cool is this man, Dominic thought with a grin. Viggo and his sword, an inseparable pairing. He would carry it everywhere and Dominic wasn’t really sure if Viggo was aware of it. It might be a scary view for people who didn’t know him. 

“Oh please, call me Ian,” the other man said and waved his hand like he couldn’t care less about his title. 

“But we gotta distinguish you from Ian Holm somehow,” Dominic remarked cheekily as always trying to ease the atmosphere among a bigger group and guiding it into a more entertaining direction.

“Oh, that’s easy,” Ian said casually. “Call him Ian the Handsome.”

Dominic’s fascination with him grew with every conversation. On the one side Ian was about 40 years his senior and Dominic had mighty respect for him, not just because older people deserved that. Ian was an icon. He had made it, but he had also spent most of his career in the closet. Dominic wondered what had made Ian come out after all back in 1988. He didn’t know the details and he certainly wasn’t going to ask. Not at this point anyway. On the other side Ian was also someone with a nice sense of humor who didn’t take himself or his sexuality too seriously. Sometimes he made an intimidating impression and sometimes he would pull jokes like the rest of them. Dominic was very much looking forward to studying him some more in the next months. Or he would ask Billy to tell him everything when Gandalf and Pippin did their scenes together.

“He really is handsome, isn’t he?” Dominic asked with an over the top dreamy expression.

“Ahem,” Billy cleared his throat and Dominic put an arm around his shoulders.

“Oh sorry, Bills. You’ll always be my one and only.”

“This happens when you put a bunch of lonely men together for a few months with hardly any female distraction,” Orlando laughed at them from across the table. “But you know how we tell the two Seans apart? The beauty and the beast. You may take a guess who is who,” he grinned.

Ian chuckled amused and reached for his fork. “You young people know how to entertain an old man. But to be serious, it’s an honor for me to be here. And I mean here with you, with such a dedicated and talented cast and crew. Peter and Fran couldn’t be luckier. And isn’t it great to be working for a couple of hippies who have the business so wired?”

That made everyone laugh. It was really the perfect description.

“They couldn’t be any more different from Hollywood,” John stated in an appreciative tone. “It doesn’t happen very often that you get to work with people who are so dedicated towards what they are doing.”

Dominic smiled at that. Yes, people with passions were truly admirable. Especially if they had gorgeous blue eyes and an adorable giggle. Which reminded him…

 

“Excuse me, gentlemen. I still gotta use the time for a phone call. I’ll see you later,” he said as he got up from the table and left the room to walk outside.

His phone call with Elijah did not go exactly as he had thought. But now he knew why Elijah had acted so strangely when they had said good-bye.

“I had to lie to him, Dom,” Elijah sniffed into the receiver. “I fucking lied to him. And now we have a fucking huge problem. God, I’m so stupid.”

Dominic held the phone tight as he listened to Elijah’s desperate voice. So close, yet so far away. Shit, he couldn’t return to the North Island before the day after tomorrow. What was he doing here when Elijah was so obviously troubled.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before I left?” he asked. There was no sign of condemnation in his voice, just concern. Elijah sighed heavily on the other end.

“Because I didn’t wanna burden you with it when you had to leave to film. You gotta concentrate on your work and now I fucked that up, too. But I just had to tell you. I’m so screwed…”

Dominic hated himself as his instincts proved to be right once again and he hadn’t done anything about it. Elijah and Sean, alone in Wellington. Elijah didn’t trust Sean enough to tell him the truth about his sexuality and his secret relationship. Despite their alleged close friendship. How was Elijah supposed to cope with it once he was shooting at separate locations with Sean? Dominic had hoped Elijah would manage the situation better. But he was still so insecure about his own behavior sometimes. One wrong word from another person and Elijah’s anxieties would resurface. Well, nobody had said it would be easy. Dominic knew he had to be strong for both of them. This was the first of many tests that their relationship had yet to face, he was sure of that. And they could make it. They completed each other and if Elijah couldn’t be secure, Dominic would be for them both.

“Lijah…please…don’t worry,” he said gently, lowering his voice to make sure no one but Elijah could hear him. “It’s gonna be alright. Nothing’s happened. Sean doesn’t know thanks to your quick thinking. You did the right thing for now. We will have to lie a lot, Lij. We’re already living a lie. The only ones we’re honest with are our families, Billy and ourselves. I know it’s bloody hard, but it’s the only way right now. Maybe we can confide in more people soon. I have a good feeling about Ian as well as Viggo. Just remember, baby, you’re not alone. I’ll be back soon and Billy too. We’ll think of something together, okay? And you’re not stupid and fucked up. I told you before, you’re Elijah Wood and you can be damn proud of that. You’re adorable and sweet and loving and just wonderful. I love you, don’t ever forget that…”

There was silence on the other end and Dominic almost thought Elijah wasn’t there anymore. Just when he heard quiet sniffing noises, Dominic knew he had come through to Elijah.

“I love you, too,” Elijah said calmly. “I’m sorry for being so fucking weak. I try to be stronger, but it’s so hard sometimes.”

Dominic had never felt a stronger urge to jump on a plane and head to another place than in that very moment. Not long now, not long, he told himself.

“You are strong, Elijah,” he said, his voice still low, but as reassuring as possible. “You’re stronger than most other people. You’ve accepted your homosexuality and that’s a big step if you ask me. And don’t worry about Sean. We’ll think of something.”

He did not know yet what this something could be and he didn’t really care. He didn’t care if Sean would approve of them or not. If Sean didn’t, then he could just fuck off. Everyone could fuck off. He only cared about Elijah and his happiness. Everything else was secondary.

After they had hung up, Dominic studied the scenery ahead of him for several minutes. The plain, the snow-covered mountain tops…if nothing else could put his mind at peace, New Zealand’s landscape could. Though he didn’t know how he could focus on his work for the rest of the day. He closed his eyes and listened to himself. Elijah’s face appeared in front of his inner eye. Don’t worry, baby…I’m always with you. I’ll always be with you…

He only opened his eyes again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Viggo’s face smile at him.

“Daydreaming or looking for the best photo motif?”

Dominic smiled, a sudden and very welcome warmth filling him. When Viggo was Elijah’s mental surrogate father, then what was he? Viggo’s mental son-in-law? In your dreams, Monaghan.

“Just letting my mind drift a little,” he simply said. Viggo nodded. His hand had let go of his beloved sword and his arms were folded. Together they gazed at the landscape in front of them. No words were spoken for a few moments. Comfortable silence. Something you cannot enjoy with everyone. Dominic looked at Viggo again. It could be so easy. They could trust Viggo. He was a great friend. Dominic knew he was staring, but when Viggo turned his eyes towards him, he didn’t look surprised to find Dominic staring at him. Damnit, did he suspect something too? Who else did? Whom could they trust? Who would understand and support them? And why did it have to be so sodding complicated?

“Vig?” Dominic heard himself say, his own voice sounding strange in his ears.

“Yes, Dom?” Viggo’s smile was still soft, convincing Dominic even more that he should just let it out.

“What do you think about Ian?” Not exactly what he had wanted to ask. What would you say if I told you that Elijah is gay and I’m bi? What would you say if I told you that Elijah and I are together? No. What do you think about Ian? Well, maybe it was another way of getting closer to the actual topic. 

“He’s one of the most admirable gentlemen I’ve ever met,” Viggo said, his sparkling eyes emphasizing his words.

“It’s nice how he’s so cool with his sexuality,” Dominic said matter-of-factly. Yes, definitely getting closer to the topic. “I can imagine there are some retarded wankers out there who might not like a gay Gandalf.”

Viggo’s chuckle was not what Dominic had expected. “Probably,” the older man nodded. “But if you’re an actor in the film business, there are always people who condemn you. They think you can’t act, they think you shouldn’t have sex scenes in every second movie or they don’t like that you’re openly gay. There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s something you learn after some time, Dom. All you can do is your job. Making movies is a form of art, like painting or photographing. What really counts is your talent and your skills.”

You cannot please everyone. Just like Dominic had reassured Elijah about Frodo, Viggo managed to reassure Dominic now.

“Thank you, Vig,” he smiled, but before he could say anything else, they were called back on set. But Dominic wasn’t sure if he would have said anything else.

 

~**~

 

“A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”

Holy shit, he is awesome. Elijah stood on top of the little hill in the Waikato near the town of Matamata. The idyllic place on the North Island was the perfect setting for Hobbiton. The set designers had done a tremendous job. Cozy hobbit hole doors were built into the hills, it really looked like a picture directly from the books. The grass was greener than anywhere else here. The region was actually one of the richest agricultural and pastoral areas in New Zealand.

Elijah, dressed in his Frodo costume, watched as Ian repeated his scene once more. He was sitting on his horse-drawn cart, his big wizard hat covering his head and the reins in his hand. What was particularly impressive was the way he used his voice. He spoke low and raspy, making him sound even older and wiser. He  _was_ Gandalf. He didn’t just look like him in the perfect costume, he really was him. Elijah admired actors who were able to become one with their roles. Viggo was another one of them. He was in character almost all the time and even Peter Jackson called him Aragorn sometimes. The funny thing was that nobody seemed to notice. And Dominic and Billy, well, they simply were Merry and Pippin. 

Elijah had just finished giving some final instructions to Kiran, his scale double. This was one of the many things he liked about Peter. The director had his certain vision, but that didn’t mean that his actors didn’t have their freedom in some areas. Elijah, Sean, Dominic and Billy had developed a special relationship with their doubles. They were small, but they ruled the cast and crew with their wit and jokes.

The camera would first focus on Kiran who came to a halt just on top of the hill above the road where Ian would pass by and stop. Elijah’s face would be filmed in a close up and then he would eventually jump into Ian’s arms.

The day had been great so far. Elijah enjoyed the Shire scenes a lot. He had been looking forward to filming in the “natural environment” of the hobbits. Ian was plainly great and seeing him getting directed by Peter was complete and utter joy. He was respectful towards everyone, also Elijah who really was a little kid compared to him.

Dominic had told Elijah only the best things about his work with Ian so far and Elijah could only agree. Working with Ian was an honorable and great experience.

A few hours later Elijah was sitting in his make-up chair in the hobbit trailer which they shared with Ian now. He leaned back and listened to the Stone Roses while his make-up girl transformed him from Frodo back into Elijah Wood. It had been a long and exciting day and right now he wanted nothing more than fall onto the couch with Dominic, watch a movie, tell him all about his day and end the day with their naked bodies pressed against each other.

He was glad to have Dominic back. Everything seemed to be so much easier with him by his side. They would think of what to do about Sean together. But that could wait.

Elijah put an old shirt on and hugged his make-up girl good-bye. The sun was already setting. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. As he inhaled the smoke, he let his eyes drift around. No one was around and he decided to walk to the parking lot. He didn’t get very far though. Suddenly a hand grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side. Elijah was so shocked that he dropped his clove and emitted a strangled shriek. His back got pushed against the backside of the trailer. Taking a few deep breaths, Elijah finally smirked at the man in front of him.

“Fuck Dom, you startled me to death!”

Dominic just smirked back and wrapped his arms around Elijah. “Great. Adrenaline rushes are the best foreplay,” he grinned before pressing his mouth on Elijah’s. The younger man grinned against his lips and pulled him a little closer. Tongues twirled around each other and fingers intertwined as Dominic took Elijah’s hands and pressed them against the trailer wall above his head, pinning him against it.

“Mmm…,” Elijah moaned quietly when the kiss ended. He caught his breath and smiled. “You drove all the way up here?”

“Of course,” Dominic murmured and kissed him again. His hands still held Elijah pinned against the wall. “Thought I’d go and pick up my baby myself.”

“Hmm…how nice of you…,” Elijah managed to mumble in response before his mouth was claimed by Dominic’s again. Dominic was sure he would have taken Elijah right here and now, but unfortunately that would have been a little too risky. Elijah looked even more beautiful and enticing than usual in the light of the setting sun. With his entire willpower he pulled himself away from those soft lips and the warm body.

“Ok, we better head home before my libido kills my brain,” he chuckled.

Elijah nodded and smiled. “Good idea. I have so much to tell you. You were right, Ian is fucking amazing.”

“He is,” Dominic shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. That was the safest place for his fumbling fingers at the moment. Elijah stepped onto his still burning clove and stubbed it out as they left their sheltered place and moved into the direction of the parking lot

“Well, I hope you’re hungry. I made something nice for you.”

“Awww, you are spoiling me,” Elijah grinned.

“You’re lucky that I love cooking,” Dominic winked and opened his car door for Elijah. A nice, quiet evening lay ahead. Later Dominic would be unable to tell how his instincts could have failed him like that. Maybe it was the still overpowering sensation of being in love when nothing and no one else mattered. But neither Dominic nor Elijah felt Sean’s eyes bore into their backs as they left the area and walked to the parking lot. 

Sean didn’t feel anything. In fact, he looked like he was frozen to the spot. The knuckles of his hand that clutched the script turned white. He mind was numb. He wasn’t even supposed to have been here. He was standing beside the trailer, hidden in the shades of some trees. When his mind slowly began to function again, only one thought filled it. He wished he had never witnessed that scene.

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

The rear lights lit up and became fainter and fainter as the car disappeared into the forthcoming night. To Sean it felt like he had been standing on the same spot for hours. His tousled mind still tried to process what he had just witnessed. He managed to reconstruct how he had gotten here. He had been on a trip with Christine and Alexandra, wanting to use what little free-time he had left before diving into his work in the Shire scenes. And his work with Ian. Ian McKellen, the legendary Shakespearean stage actor, who made him feel like a little insecure schoolboy. Sean had decided to do a detour to Matamata to see if he would find Peter and Elijah still on set. He had known chances wouldn’t be very good, but Christine hadn’t minded. So Sean had grabbed his script which he hardly parted from these days and jumped out of the car, assuring his wife that it wouldn’t take long. He always came up with new questions and suggestions for Samwise and for the portrayal of the relationship between him and Frodo that he couldn’t really get his mind off his work. Christine would sometimes get annoyed with him, telling him to relax and forget about his job for a while. He knew he was too ambitious sometimes. He wasn’t the director, he wasn’t the script writer and he wasn’t the producer. He was an actor. That was his job, not getting involved in other people’s business. But that was easier said than done.

First he had checked out the set, but neither Peter nor Elijah had been there anymore. He had met Fran though who told him that Elijah was probably still in the feet trailer. Ah, he could have figured that out by himself. Instead he had simply walked past the trailer, thinking he might find Elijah still in action. So he had headed back to the trailer, but stopped when he had heard quiet, mumbling voices. Familiar voices. Yet they had sounded different. The tone had been deeper and sort of purring. And then that giggle that Sean knew so well. His feet had moved almost automatically as he had approached the trailer from another direction. The shades that the setting sun caused shielded him, still he hadn’t wanted to risk anything and stepped behind a large tree. He hadn’t even known why he was hiding. But something inside him had urged him to. A feeling that had told him to be careful. That he would observe something that was not meant for the public eye.

Elijah had been standing pressed against the trailer wall, his hands held up above his head by the hands of another person. A man, no doubt. Sean had literally felt his heart skip a beat. His eyes had been glued to the scene. And when he had recognized the other guy, he clutched at his chest, his heart hammering like mad. His throat had tightened and it had been impossible to swallow. He had felt nothing but a cold shudder and his breathing had stopped for a moment. Not far from him Dominic and Elijah had been kissing, hidden from prying eyes behind the trailer. Oblivious to him.

Sean’s eyes fell on his car on the parking lot. His wife and his daughter were waiting for him. It was time to go back to Wellington. Alexandra had to be taken to bed…Shit, what had he just seen? Dominic and Elijah kissing…No fooling around. Kissing. On the mouth. Like they were…what? A couple? Come on, don’t be ridiculous, he told himself. He didn’t know about Dominic, but Elijah wasn’t…was he? Can you be absolutely sure? Oh damnit…Elijah…I’m so sorry…

Yes, that’s what he was feeling. Sorry. He didn’t think about the hurt. It was there, but it wasn’t important right now. Whatever Elijah had gotten himself into, it had to be stopped. Dominic was obviously not able to protect Elijah from himself. And, above all, from Hollywood. No, he encouraged it. Sean could vividly picture it in his mind. And who could blame Dominic? He didn’t know the business. He didn’t know Los Angeles. He didn’t know Hollywood. He didn’t know the mentality. But Elijah…it shocked Sean all the more since Elijah did know the business. Yet he had gotten himself into this…situation or whatever it was. The poor boy was apparently incapable of grasping the danger he was in. The danger he put all of them in, the whole cast and crew. The movie, the franchise...

Someone needed to talk sense into him.

Why didn’t you tell me, Lij? The feeling of hurt became stronger again. They were friends, weren’t they? Fuck…how inconceivable…Dominic and Elijah? Together? But so much began to make sense now…How could they risk everything? Weren’t they aware of the jeopardy? Wasn’t Elijah aware of it? What had gotten into them!?

Sean slowly moved back to the car on shaking legs. Stop this madness. It’s got to stop…

“How did it go?” he heard Christine ask him as he got into the driver’s seat. Alexandra had fallen asleep on the backseat. Sean looked from his daughter to his wife. He smiled. It required all of his acting skills.

“Fine. Let’s go home.”

His family. They meant everything to him. Didn’t Elijah want to get married and have a family of his own some day? Didn’t he want to experience the joys of becoming a father? Oh Elijah…why you? Not you…please…not you…

And Dominic didn’t give a damn, did he? The happy-go-lucky guy from England, without a care in the world. What did he know? Nothing. He could ruin his own career before it even started, but not Elijah’s. Not Elijah’s. Hollywood would lie at the boy’s feet after Lord of the Rings. It would mark the important step from child to adult actor. He didn’t want to destroy it all, did he? Not his own work, not everybody else’s work…

Sean made a decision. He would wait until after Elijah’s birthday in a few days. Whatever was between Elijah and Dominic, he deserved to have a nice and peaceful day. He would wait and then bring the issue up when he caught Elijah by himself. He didn’t want to tell Dominic. He would hate Sean’s guts. But Sean only wanted the best for Elijah. Damn you, Dom…damn you for pulling Elijah into this…

 

~**~

 

“Please no Pumpkins,” Dominic grinned from his make-up chair.

“Please no Beatles,” Billy shouted over to him teasingly.

Elijah was standing in front of the stereo system and put a CD into the player. His back was turned to the others and he grinned to himself as they shouted their music wishes over to him. Or rather their non wishes.

“It’s my birthday, so I have the power,” he pressed the play button with an exaggerated evil laughter. A few seconds later Death Cab for Cutie blared through the feet trailer. One of Dominic’s favorite bands that Elijah liked as well. He turned around and smiled brightly.

“Satisfied?”

“Aww, thank you, Lij!” Dominic raised his thumb and resisted the urge to blow him a kiss. Elijah flopped down on his make-up chair next to Sean. He couldn’t feel any happier. Everything was just perfect. They would be filming the cornfield scene today, the four hobbits bumping into each other and fleeing through the field. It was one of the most fun scenes, full of typical hobbit spirit. And tonight they would celebrate his 19th birthday. Leaning against the backrest, Elijah smiled at Sean’s reflection in the mirror as his make-up girl began to slick his hair back. 

Sean smiled back and took a sip from his coffee cup. He noticed how Elijah quickly cast his eyes down when they met Dominic’s through the long mirror. Instead he grabbed his plate and his spoon and started to shove his breakfast into his mouth. Sean watched him over the edge of his cup. 19 years. He had read that guys usually reached their sexual peak at 19. He didn’t want to know what was going on behind their closed doors. Did Elijah and Dominic really do it? God…two hobbits getting it on with each other…what a scandal that would be. Would anyone still take them seriously? Would anyone take the movie and their roles seriously? Oh Elijah…why didn’t you fight it? Why now? Why with Dom?

Sean desperately needed to talk to him.

Surprisingly work throughout the morning distracted him. It was just him and Elijah, Frodo and Sam starting their journey through the Shire and to Bree. Sean enjoyed filming with Elijah alone. He would support his younger friend whenever possible and often Elijah would often laugh at Sean’s safety concerns.

“Sam, we’re still in the Shire. What could possibly happen?”

Yeah, what could possibly happen while filming a harmless scene like Frodo and Sam walking across a meadow? Sean couldn’t help it. He felt responsible for Elijah in a way. He wanted to keep him safe from any harm, physically as well as emotionally. He wanted to make everything easy for Elijah. And the last thing he wanted was Elijah to fall victim to fucked up homophobic strangers.

Lunch break was spent in the catering tent. It was open on one side and mainly to shield them from the sun. Dominic and Billy hugged Elijah as he arrived, and now Sean knew why the embraces between Elijah and Dominic used to last longer than those with other people. It was so obvious, yet Sean had never guessed the real meaning behind those touches. If only he had known sooner…if only he had known…what a horrible situation this was…

Billy turned around and lifted something up from the table. It was a birthday cake with 19 candles in a circle on top.

“Happy birthday from the entire cast and crew,” he said as he handed the plate to a beaming Elijah.

“Thank you so much!” He looked around at the crew members that were standing nearby and placed the cake on the table. Taking a deep breath, he leaned down and blew the candles out. It took him two deep intakes of breath, but eventually he managed to put them all out. “Ah, smoker’s lung”, he giggled and sat down in one of the chairs at the long wooden table while Dominic and Billy handed out plates and forks and settled down across from him. 

“Did you make a wish?” Dominic wanted to know, resting his elbows on the table and looking curiously at Elijah.

“I have everything already,” Elijah replied, probably a little more softly than he had meant to.

I can imagine, Sean thought as he took a seat next to Elijah.

“Hey, happy birthday, kiddo!” The four turned around as Viggo came in, a wrapped package in his hand. Elijah jumped up from his chair and smiled happily as Viggo hugged him tight, ruffling his already shaggy Frodo hair. 

“Thanks, Vig.”

“Hey, he’s not a kiddo anymore,” Dominic pointed out from the other side of the table and added with a cheeky grin: “He’s a man now.”

Elijah was the only one who understood the deeper meaning of those words – his own words actually. Or he thought he was the only one. Sean struggled to keep a straight face. He could imagine what the words really meant and Elijah who tried hard not to blush only confirmed that suspicion. They really did it…God damnit, what the hell…

“Here, a little something for the man,” Viggo handed Elijah the package who sat down again and unpacked it with curious fingers.

“Awww, Viggo…this is awesome,” he gasped as he studied the present. It was a big framed photo that Viggo had taken on set a couple of weeks ago. It showed the four hobbits with Bill the pony, about to be led through the Midgewater Marshes by Aragorn. Thick snowflakes were falling. It was a gorgeous picture and what Elijah particularly liked about it was Merry standing directly next to Frodo, his hood over his head. Mmm…a sexy sight somehow…

“It’s a masterpiece,” he said as he lifted his eyes from it for a moment to look at Viggo. The older man now had a camera in his hand and aimed it at Elijah.

“A photo for posterity?”

Elijah turned around and held the picture up. He was smiling from ear to ear. Then he handed it around for everyone to see.

“Bloody hell, I look fat!” Dominic laughed in a girly voice as he and Billy took a closer look. 

“Shut up, you look sexy as always,” Billy nudged his side. “Hoodies suit you.”

Sean chewed on his piece of cake and observed the scene. Dominic and Billy were fooling around and pulling their jokes. As usual. Often their fooling around included gay comments. Remarks that suggested that the other one was gay or one self was gay. It was common among a group of men, especially if those men spent so much time together in a rather isolated place like New Zealand. What really struck Sean was that those jokes were mostly between Dominic and Billy. And Orlando when he was with them. Elijah hardly ever participated in the fun. It was a way to release some of the work tension sometimes, but obviously not for Elijah. He never made comments like that with the others and Dominic never made comments like that regarding Elijah. Just with Billy most of all. Why was that? Was it to cover up the real relationship? Dominic and Elijah behaved in a more subtle way. The looks they sometimes gave each other. How they acted around each other in public. It was all restrained and low-key. Now that Sean knew the truth, he noticed many details he hadn’t noticed before. And each new detail was like another stab into his heart. Elijah was scared to tell him the truth. What was he afraid of? That Sean might run to Dominic and rip his head off? No, that was not his style. Talking would hopefully be more effective.

The cornfield tumble scene was horrible for Dominic. He was suffering from hay fever and sneezed again and again. His eyes were red and his skin felt like it was coming off. Elijah inwardly suffered with him. Peter called for the first aid crew who gave Dominic some pills. Thank God they seemed to work for the moment. Poor Dom. First that splinter in his foot, now his hay fever…Elijah didn’t know how to make it better, yet he wanted to make it better, so desperately.

Another take. Merry and Pippin shooting out of the cornfield, bumping into Frodo and Sam and sending them to the ground. Billy landed on Elijah and Dominic couldn’t help but envy his Scottish friend a little. Jeez, you’re turning into a jealous, sappy lass, he thought amused. He was feeling better thanks to the medicines and soon he was his old cheeky self again. The scene was a lot of fun and during another take, he was so motivated that he ran out of the cornfield and hit Sean harder than he had intended.

“Woah Dom, you idiot,” Sean growled, but chuckled nonetheless. “You don’t like me, do you?”

“Sorry Seanie,” Dominic laughed and got up again. “I hope I didn’t hit any important spots,” he winked.

Why does he have to make everything about sex, Sean wondered and a brief image popped up inside his head. Elijah lying beneath Dominic’s body, as Sean just had. Only they weren’t on the road through a cornfield, nor were they dressed. Holy shit, what was he thinking? Did they really go that far? He couldn’t get it into his head.

The scene was done and Peter called it a day. Due to Elijah’s birthday he was generous enough to wrap a little sooner.

“We’re going to Alcove tonight, so if anyone wants to join us…,” Elijah announced after Peter thanked them, as he did after every day of filming.

“What town is that?” Peter asked, crossing his hands behind his head.

“It’s in Hamilton,” Elijah said, thinking how cool it would be if Peter could come to his birthday celebration. But then again, they all would have to behave. The poor director would probably get a shock if he spent one party night with the guys. Well, as long as it didn’t end with them peeing into famous fountains again…

“The drinks are on Elijah!” Andrew Lesnie, the director of photography, shouted and everyone cheered eagerly. Dominic and Billy hugged the generous birthday boy thankfully.

“There goes my tab for the day,” Elijah laughed and they made their way off the set. 

Only one person wasn’t really in the proper party mood.

 

~**~

 

His fingers were shaking heavily as Elijah tried to get the key into the lock of his front door. It was dark and he was relieved about that. After a few seconds of wild fumbling he finally managed to unlock the door. It was anything but easy when he was turned on like hell and Dominic pushed himself against his back, reached around his hips and cupped his hardening crotch. Elijah gasped and let go of the key, pressing his hands against the door instead to brace himself. Yes, he was pretty relieved that it was the middle of the night. He could feel Dominic’s fingers already pull down his zipper.

“Mmm…wait a minute…,” Elijah said hoarsely and lowered his hand to the doorknob. It was hard to find in his current state. 

“I’ve been waiting all day,” Dominic groaned into his ear and attached his mouth to the side of Elijah’s neck where he started to suck and lick passionately. Elijah felt himself go weak in the knees, as always when Dominic did that to him. Finally he opened the door. They stumbled into the house together and Elijah still remembered to pull the key out of the lock before slamming the door shut and quickly switching the light on. As soon as they were inside, all control was gone. Dominic pushed Elijah up against the door and finished his assault on his jeans. He unbuttoned them and pulled them down. His mouth was busy plundering Elijah’s as the passion increased with every second. Elijah kicked off his shoes and Dominic did the same. His hands which were still shaking grabbed the hem of Dominic’s shirt and the heated kiss had to be interrupted for a split second as he pulled the fabric up and over his head. It joined Elijah’s jeans on the floor. Swollen and damp lips found each other, but before they could really continue, Elijah felt that wonderful mouth pull away again. He was about to protest, but all his throat could produce was a long moan when Dominic dropped to his knees and pulled Elijah’s boxers down. The hard cock, pulsating, rosy and surrounded by dark pubic hair, was immediately swallowed. 

“Ohhh…fuck…,” Elijah gasped, barely aware of the door pressing into his back. He needed to hold on to something, but his fingers could only clutch at Dominic’s hair. The skilled mouth and tongue around his penis sent Elijah into a wild frenzy. His eyes rolled shut, so he didn’t see how Dominic removed his own jeans and socks. He was now completely naked, but the object of his affection was still half-dressed. So so wrong. While his mouth was sucking hard on Elijah, he managed to pull the socks off the younger guy’s feet. His ears were full of Elijah’s sexy moaning and he forced himself away from the delicious crotch before it was over too soon. Dominic slowly stood up again and unbuttoned Elijah’s shirt as he did so. Tossing it away along with the t-shirt beneath, he took Elijah’s hands and pressed them up above his head, like he had done a few days ago behind the trailer. It had been a fun evening in Hamilton, but also a long evening. Orlando had been drunk after just a few drinks, but Dominic and Elijah had controlled themselves. They were thirsty for each other. Their naked bodies touched, warm skin against warm skin. Dominic held Elijah’s hands tightly as he began to rock his hips, his aching erection grinding against Elijah’s. They moaned into each other’s mouths and Elijah’s body trembled lightly. Allowing them both the chance to breathe, Dominic left those beautiful lips and concentrated on the incredibly smooth skin of his lover’s neck. Elijah felt the rough tongue on him and tilted his head to the side, exposing his throat. His whole body and soul were in a state of such thick, passionate fog that he didn’t hear the ringing of the telephone right away. Dominic was the one who noticed it first and he groaned into his ear.

“Do I have to let you go?”

“Huh?” Elijah didn’t open his eyes. He was lost in the moment. Naked, horny and his equally naked boyfriend pressed against him. Only then he became aware of the interrupting sound.

“Fucking hell…”

Dominic smirked and released his hold on Elijah’s hands. He wrapped his arms around the slender waist instead and pulled him away from the door. Their lips locked again.

“Make it quick,” Dominic panted into the hot cavern and together they somehow stumbled over to the couch table and the phone. Their lips never parted and hands never stopped groping, grasping and exploring. The edge of the sofa bumped against his legs and Elijah fell backwards on it, with Dominic landing on top of him. Reaching blindly for the disturbing ringing phone, Elijah picked it up.

“Hello?” he purred into the receiver unintentionally. Dominic looked down at him, his fingers stroking one of the pale thighs that were wrapped around his waist. Elijah’s eyes widened and a deep blush crept over his face. 

“Hi, mom…”

It didn’t really help his embarrassment much when Dominic stifled a giggle and buried his face in Elijah’s chest to keep himself from laughing out loud.

“Uhm no, it’s okay…I wasn’t asleep yet. We were out celebrating….thank you…”

Despite the situation Elijah kept a grin on his face. This was too hilarious to be true.

“Yeah sure…bye…”

A few seconds of silence.

“Hey, sister H.”

Dominic looked up, his expression curious.

“No, I just got home….of course we were filming today…then we went to a bar and all the way back to Wellington…how many times do I have to tell you, New Zealand is only three hours behind California. It must be fucking early in LA!”

Dominic grinned. Ah, little sisters must be fun. How old was Hannah again? 15? 16? She would probably be the first Wood family member he’d get to meet. He bowed his head again and placed tiny kisses all over Elijah’s chest. The fingers of Elijah’s free hand stroked Dominic’s hair while he was talking to his sister. Yeah, time zones were confusing sometimes. Dominic’s brother had once accidentally called him in the middle of the night. Just like Elijah’s family now. At least they didn’t have to get up early tomorrow.

“Yes, he’s here too,” Elijah suddenly said and when Dominic raised his head he saw Elijah’s grinning face.

“If he wants….someone would like to have a word with you,” he held the phone out to Dominic.

“Really?” Dominic smirked and took the phone. “Good morning, Miss Hannah…no, you didn’t interrupt anything. We were just about to have some tea and do crossword puzzles…”

Elijah raised his thumb approvingly, yet teasingly.

“Yes, I hope so too…can’t wait…yes, I keep an eye on your lovely brother, all the time…,” Dominic winked at Elijah. “Okay…see you soon hopefully…bye.”

Elijah held the phone to his ear again. “Yeah…I know…it is, isn’t it?” he chuckled. “Yeah, okay…bye!”

He hung up and put the phone on the table. “She finds your voice just as appealing as I do. And it’s not just the accent.”

Dominic smirked. “The Woods have good taste. Now…where were we,” he purred and kissed Elijah’s lips. Something hard pressed into his lower belly. “Right…taking care of horny Mr. Frodo…”

Elijah locked his arms around his neck, so Dominic could stand up easily and pull him up with him. It was especially easy when Elijah’s legs did the same around his waist. Their mouths were glued together. The bedroom had never seemed further away. Dominic moved over to the open door, which was not that easy since Elijah’s nude body in his arms and his hungrily kissing mouth almost sent him over the edge. But making love in the middle of the living-room floor was not the most comfortable option right now. Finally the bed came into view. Keeping his eyes half-open to see where he had to go was not simple either. He quickly switched the light in the living-room off and stumbled into the bedroom.

The soft blanket beneath his back and Dominic on top of him. Was there any better place in this world? Elijah didn’t think so. Dominic covering him like a warm blanket made him feel protected and safe from any harm, each and every time. His fingers danced all over his lover’s back and dug into it when Dominic’s mouth traveled down his chin and grazed his neck. It was one of the things Elijah loved most. Dominic’s lips on his naked skin, licking, sucking and kissing a wet trail and making him melt. The sensations were briefly interrupted when Dominic turned on the nightstand lamp and reached into the drawer, knowing exactly where to find the bottle of lube. He put it aside and turned his full attention back to Elijah’s enticing body. His fingers pulled at one of Elijah’s balls while his mouth found an erect nipple to suck on.

Elijah groaned and arched his back, his body beginning to glimmer. His hands grasped a fistful of Dominic’s hair and held him exactly where he was. Soon the wet lips continued their journey and moved further down the pale chest and belly towards the groin. It felt like Dominic was worshipping his entire body. Elijah shuddered with anticipation. A rough tongue was now against his right inner thigh, but instead of sliding up to the tingling loins, it lapped its way to the knee and lower leg. He opened his eyes and saw Dominic sitting on his haunches and lifting the cherished leg up against his chest.

“Are you infatuated with my leg now?” Elijah smirked up at him.

Dominic’s long, slender fingers stroked the thigh and he placed a kiss on the inside of the knee. “I’m infatuated with every part of your beautiful body…,” he growled. His eyes shifted and spotted a very erect and very neglected cock. “Mmm…especially this part…”

Leaning down, he kissed a trace up the smooth inner thigh until he reached the crotch. A salty, musky scent filled his nose. Elijah’s leg was draped over his shoulder as he ran his tongue along underside of the hard shaft.

Elijah moaned long and low, his fingers grasping the blanket. Dominic’s mouth engulfed the head of his penis and sucked on the sensitive area. Elijah’s breathing became fast instantly.

“Aaaahhh…Dom…,” he began to pant, the heel of his foot digging into Dominic’s back. His entire groin tingled with pleasure. Suddenly he felt a wet finger between his buttocks that slowly invaded his entrance. Dominic’s mouth left his cock as his lubricated finger stretched Elijah’s tight body. Maybe in a few weeks it wouldn’t be necessary anymore to prepare Elijah with lube. Then his body would be accustomed to the penetration. A lubricated cock would be enough. Dominic sat up and reached out his free hand, pulling Elijah’s writhing body against him. His skilled finger never stopped its movements. Elijah immediately pressed his lips against Dominic’s, his legs around strong hips. Another finger found its way into his entrance and the tip nudged his prostate. Moaning out loud, Elijah broke the kiss and buried his face in Dominic’s neck. His cock was trapped between their bodies and when he rocked his hips, it thrust against Dominic’s lower belly. 

“Mmm…baby…,” Dominic groaned into his ear and sucked on the lobe briefly. He loved feeling Elijah’s body melt under his touch. Knowing that he could get him into a state of such absolute passion that made him forget his own name.

“Ready for me?”

Elijah pulled his head back as Dominic removed his fingers from inside of him. There was still so much for them to try out, to experience and to dive into. Tonight Dominic wanted Elijah against him like he had never had before. He kissed those plump lips.

“Turn around, baby…”

Elijah turned around without hesitation. Dominic quickly lubricated his own cock, shifted to kneel behind Elijah and wrapped his arms around his upper body. He could already feel a fine sheen of sweat on the soft tummy. Elijah’s back pressed against Dominic’s chest, leaving not a single inch of space between them. Dominic slipped his slick penis into Elijah in one single movement. Hot tightness surrounded him, making him groan and gasp. Elijah’s head fell back against his shoulder, his hands gripping Dominic’s lower arms around his body. He felt like he was on fire. Wet lips sucked on the side of his neck and moved to his right ear.

“Everything okay?” he heard Dominic whisper, something he used to ask, to make sure Elijah felt comfortable in every situation. Elijah didn’t say anything, he just turned his head and claimed Dominic’s lips in a short, but feverish tongue-in-mouth-kiss. It ended when Dominic began to thrust slowly, moving in and out of Elijah. Throwing his head back again, quiet but steady moans escaped Elijah’s parted lips. The pace was gentle and slow. Their hips rocked jointly as they were kneeling in the middle of the small bed together and Dominic attached his lips to Elijah’s neck once more, sucking on and licking the salty skin. His left hand pinched Elijah’s left nipple and his right hand closed around Elijah’s rock-hard cock.

“Ohhh…Dommie…,” Elijah’s body sagged against him and Dominic tightened his hold around him to keep him upright. Elijah was butter in his arms and Dominic loved it. He felt even more turned on.

“Baby…,” he breathed, almost inaudibly. “You like that?”

What a superfluous question. Elijah moaned continuously and placed his hand over Dominic’s around his cock. Together they squeezed and stroked the throbbing shaft.

“God…,” Elijah forgot everything around him. He felt one strong tingle from his head to his toes. He was barely aware of Dominic’s mouth sucking hard on his shoulder as the thrusts became faster. His breathing was ragged and labored. If Dominic wasn’t holding him upright, he would have collapsed on the spot. Gasping, panting and the smell of sweat filled the room which was illuminated only by the small lamp on the nightstand. Thrusting, hitting the prostate, more thrusting, his body feeling pleasure that Elijah had never thought he could feel. And that just made him want more and more. 

“Fuck…Dom…harder…,” he uttered in the spur of the moment. Dominic smirked and felt a sudden rush to his groin at the words. Elijah certainly wasn’t the innocent, clueless little virgin boy anymore. Gathering every amount of self-control, Dominic stopped thrusting and pushed Elijah towards the headboard of the bed. That would make it easier and more comfortable. Elijah placed his hands and lower arms against the wall above the headboard and braced himself. Dominic gripped his hips, his fingers digging into the delicate flesh. His cock that had slipped out reentered Elijah’s waiting hole. He continued with a fast pace and thrust in and out. Elijah moaned loudly and bowed his head as his prostate was hit again and again, knocking him senseless. Dominic increased the speed and after a few more seconds he slammed into Elijah’s trembling body, making the bed squeal and even shake a little. He hadn’t done this in what seemed ages and it felt so incredibly good. Sometimes it was necessary. Just let go and shag your and your lover’s brains out. Especially when you were as hungry for each other as he and Elijah were for each other in this moment. Elijah came first. His hand stroked his cock fast, his mouth wide open, moaning and gasping. With a loud cry his cock shot its seed onto the pillow. Dominic followed close behind, his semen filling up Elijah’s damp body. Elijah let go of the wall and fell backwards, causing Dominic to falls backwards as well and landing next to him on the now very crumpled blanket. Sweat-slick bodies pressed against each other. Elijah felt weak, limp and utterly spent, tingling all over. Turning around, he saw Dominic’s flushed face. They smiled faintly at one another, not really knowing how they would ever be able to move again.

Finally Dominic raised his finger and brushed a strand of clammy hair away from Elijah’s forehead. “Everything okay?” he repeated his earlier question and this time Elijah was able to answer.

“More than okay…that was…wow…”

Dominic grinned and kissed his salty lips. “That was another side of sex…I’m glad it didn’t scare you…”

Elijah chuckled. “No way…not with you…”

They looked at each other for a few minutes, simply enjoying the feeling of their common afterglow. Gradually Dominic felt strong enough again to move and sit up. He turned the stained pillow around and pulled Elijah with him who was still rather limp. He lay down and gathered the younger man in his arms, their heated bodies cuddling together. Dominic leaned over, switched the light off and kissed Elijah’s forehead. He felt soft breathing against his neck and ran his fingers through Elijah’s hair. What an utterly perfect moment.

“I love you, Lijah…,” he whispered into the darkness.

“I love you too,” Elijah whispered back. In spite of the very long day he wasn’t feeling sleepy. He felt warm, comfortable, safe…loved. He felt absolutely happy. 

In another bedroom in another house in the same city another man was lying awake in bed. Sean looked up at the ceiling that he couldn’t see in the dark. Beside him Christine was sleeping peacefully. Elijah’s birthday was over. How to approach him? When? Give him a few more days? Or maybe…damnit…what to do?

It took him a long time to fall asleep that night. Longer than it took Elijah, comfortably and happily settled in Dominic’s arms.

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

_February 4, 2000_

_Dearest diary,_

_It’s Fridaaaay! A week ago was Lijah’s birthday and tomorrow I’m going to take him on a date. A real date. Can you imagine we’ve been together for almost three months now and we’ve never really been on a date! What sort of a sodding neglecting boyfriend am I, huh? It’s also a late present for his birthday. We just need to make it look like two mates casually out and about or something. Heh. Shouldn’t be a problem though. We’ve adapted a few tactics and habits that make it easier for us to behave properly in public. But geez, it’s bloody hard, I can tell you._

_Anyway, it’s been an exciting week. Or should I say cuntalicious? God, sometimes I think we’ve all gone totally daft. Cunt is the new “it”-word, you know. Us Brits are such a corrupting gang…Poor Lij…_

_Well, filming the Shire scenes is absolute ace. The set, all the hobbit extras, the atmosphere…don’t tell him I said that, but Pete totally fits into the hobbit bunch. He looks just like one of us. *g*_

_Then a bloke from Vanity Fair came on set and we did our very first official photos of the hobbits and Gandalf in their natural environment of Hobbiton. Us four were totally in our element, but poor Ian was struggling a little with his costume. Looks like he’s not quite used to it yet. Man…he almost swears as much as Elijah sometimes. I think he fears his photos might not make it into the magazine. Well, we’ll see in a couple of months. Anyway, photo-shoots rule! So much fun. Especially watching Elijah being all professional. He got to pose with the long pipe smoking in front of Bag End. I know smoking is unhealthy and all, but he looked so bloody shagtastic there. I already told you countless times how handsome he is in his Frodo costume, but that topped it all. Yum. Don’t worry, I’m not drowning in my Lijah ramblings again. You must be bored by now. Heh. So many pages full of gushing schmoopieness. You know the saying, paper is patient. I’m glad I’m keeping a diary because I don’t know what I would do otherwise. I can’t bother Billy all the time. The poor bugger is already suffering enough. *g* Seriously, I need to bring it all down to paper sometimes, otherwise I would explode. If you can’t tell the whole world how happy you are, you can at least write it down. What did I do to deserve this? I really wonder sometimes. I’m a funny looking nobody. He could have anyone…I know I’m repeating myself, but it’s just how I feel. We’ve come such a long way and everything’s just wonderful. I know Elijah still struggles sometimes, but he’s still so young and it’s only been a few months. We have all the time in the world and I’ll reassure and support him whenever he needs it. I want us to go on like forever and ever. I can’t imagine anything else. I can’t remember my life before him. It feels like I just started to really live, it’s incredible. I still don’t know what exactly happened, but it happened with such a force and it changed us both forever. Everything means nothing without him. I love him so much, it overwhelms me sometimes…okay, here I go again…_

_He’s coming over soon, he just has something to discuss with Sean first. Or Sean has something to discuss with him, as Elijah said. Hurry hurry, my Lijah…_

 

The words on the paper became slightly blurred. Dominic put the pen aside and blinked. This had happened a couple of times before, when he had been writing into his diary. Pouring his heart and soul out to his silent listener and his emotions overwhelming him and bringing him to tears. He wasn’t ashamed. He wasn’t one to be ashamed of his feelings, and he certainly wouldn’t hide them from anyone. He only hid his love from the world because it needed to be protected. That was the only reason why he didn’t shout it from the rooftops that he loved Elijah more than anything. One day…maybe…one day…

Closing his diary and wiping at his eyes, Dominic got up from the bed and placed the book into the nightstand drawer. Then he quickly headed into the bathroom and splashed cold water into his face. He wanted to look his best when Elijah arrived. Though Elijah wouldn’t mind red and dark-circled eyes. He didn’t mind anything concerning superficial things like looks. Dominic looked up from the sink and gazed into the mirror. The face that looked back at him was a sight he would probably never be absolutely content with. Elijah found him attractive. Elijah found him handsome and he even found him sexy. Sometimes Dominic wondered why. He didn’t find himself particularly good-looking and compared to Elijah he was even strikingly unappealing. Despite Elijah’s protests and his constant gushing over how handsome he found him, Dominic knew that the boy’s opinion was not just biased. Elijah simply didn’t care about how a person looked. He was not just the most beautiful man Dominic had ever seen, he was also the most loving, natural, down-to-earth and lovely man he had ever met. And he would arrive soon. Very soon, hopefully…

Which reminded Dominic of his plans. He was going to make sushi for them, one of his favorite meals that would hopefully be Elijah’s taste as well. He loved introducing Elijah to new food. Sometimes he would fool around, claiming what Elijah’s unhealthy American lifestyle was doing to him. It was actually amazing that his skin was still so flawless after almost three years of smoking. Maybe Dominic would even succeed in making him quit.

He entered the kitchen, turned on the radio and started to prepare the food, allowing his mind to drift. Ten more months in New Zealand. Ten more months in this isolated and protected place. And then? A house in this beautiful country. For Elijah and him. Somewhere in the wilderness. Walking around naked all day, not getting bothered by anything or anyone. Dominic grinned. How Elijah had looked at him when he had told him about his occasional habit. Hanging around at home without any clothes on his body, in all his natural nudity. He had shown Elijah once what it was like and it had ended in a passionate love-making session after merely ten minutes. Insatiable minx…

Preparing sushi was not that easy, but Dominic was rather practiced. He didn’t understand how anyone could not like cooking. Especially if you had a loved one you could spoil with it. And Elijah deserved to be spoilt rotten. He poured the rice into a pot and looked out the window. It was almost entirely dark outside. What time was it? The clock on the kitchen wall read almost half past ten. They had wrapped at seven in the evening, followed by the 40 minutes process of shedding their hobbit costumes and then going home. They hadn’t been out for a beer tonight. Dominic had wanted to return to his house as soon as possible, to prepare something nice for Elijah who had been caught up by Sean. Elijah had agreed and promised Dominic he would come over after whatever Sean had to discuss with him. No problem, it gave him more time to concentrate on the meal. Only Elijah still wasn’t here yet. It’s been a few hours since their last talk and Dominic contemplated to call him. Nah, stop it. He’ll be here soon. You’re not finished yet anyway. Still so much to do. It’s gotta be perfect for Lijah. He must be starving. Doesn’t Sean know he must be starving?

Dominic tore his eyes away from the dark window and turned his attention back to the raw fish in front of him on the kitchen counter. And what if something happened? Someone attacked Elijah or kidnapped him on his way to his place? Or robbed him? Geez, calm down. Don’t be daft. He’s driving here, you know that. He’s not walking. Not at this hour, not in the darkness. Sighing and shaking his head to himself, Dominic reached for a knife and started to chop the fish. This was what being apart from Elijah for a few hours did to him. He was hopeless. Yeah…hopelessly in love. He wondered if they would ever finish the phase of fresh, devoted, passionate, head over heels love and enter the phase of getting accustomed to each other and losing the excitement and attraction. He couldn’t imagine. He couldn’t imagine ever getting that much accustomed to having Elijah by his side. He couldn’t imagine that the excitement would ever disappear. He felt excited every time they looked at each other, every time Elijah smiled that beautiful smile at him, every time he heard that adorable giggle, every time their mouths were only inches apart before meeting in a deep kiss. No, that would never change. Elijah was and would always be special.

What time was it? Quarter to eleven. Dominic took another look out the window. He waited for a pair of headlights to appear in his driveway. The headlights of Elijah’s car. Nothing.

Concentrate on your task or you’ll end up cutting your finger off. Lijah…Lijah…come over, baby. I need you here. Stop whining and finish the dinner. Easier said than done.

Dominic continued the chopping, but it took him a long time. His eyes would drift to the window every few minutes.

 

~**~

 

The streets seemed to be endless tonight. Since when did it take so damn long to drive to his house? While his fingers were tapping against the window on the passenger side, Elijah’s eyes roamed the buildings of Wellington that they passed by. They had just entered the city after coming back from a day on set in Matamata. He had promised Dominic to come over later since Sean wanted to talk to him about something. Elijah tried not to sigh too loudly. Couldn’t they have discussed that during the day or during their drive back home? But Sean had said it was something they couldn’t talk about “in passing”. Alright then. It would give Dominic more time to prepare the special dinner he had in mind. The thought of that brought a smile to Elijah’s face. Dominic's cooking skills were beyond great. Elijah didn’t doubt for one second that he would have become a great chef if he hadn’t become an actor. But thank God he had decided to act. Thank God he had auditioned for Lord of the Rings. Thank God…no Peter Jackson for giving him a role. Thank fate for bringing them together in this place. Leaning back, Elijah got lost in his thoughts, not even registering his surroundings anymore.

Sean was driving silently and kept glancing over at Elijah from time to time. Had it been a good idea to snatch him away like that, insisting that he had something very important to talk about? Sean hadn’t wanted to talk to Dominic, but if his words achieved the desired effect, then Elijah would take over that part. And hopefully it would result in the only possible way out of this situation. No, not hopefully. He was sure Elijah would do the right thing. Sean knew Elijah. He didn’t know him as well as Dominic did, but he knew him well enough to tell that Elijah was a reasonable person. He was naive sometimes, he showed it by allowing himself to get into this…mess. Oh Lij…so experienced, so worldly, so sophisticated, yet so innocent and naive. But it’s not too late. It can still all be alright.

Finally his house came into view and Elijah was ripped out of his daydreams. Sean parked the car in his driveway and Elijah couldn’t get out quickly enough. Sean noticed the rushing behavior of his friend. It could almost be interpreted as an attempt to escape.

Elijah unlocked the front door, a brief flashback hitting him. How he had opened the door exactly one week ago…or tried to while Dominic kept on pressing up against him from behind…not now. Not now. Bad timing.

Switching on the lights, Elijah waited for Sean to join him and closed the door behind him. The silence was almost crushing. There was a strange atmosphere that seized Elijah as soon as he had locked the front door again and switched on the lights. He watched Sean walk slowly further into the living-room, saw how his older friend looked at various items or rather pretended to look at them. Why did it make him feel anxious and long for a cigarette?

“Can I…,” Elijah began, but cleared his throat as he felt it gone dry. “Can I offer you anything?”

Sean turned around abruptly and looked at him, his eyes revealing absolutely nothing. No emotions, not even a single blink. To Elijah it felt like he had been hit by lightning. It shot right through his body and soul, knocking all ability to move or even think straight out of him.

“Elijah…,” it was like the voice of a sad little boy. “Elijah, why did you lie to me?”

What the fuck was going on now? Crossing his lightly shaking arms in front of his chest, Elijah stared at Sean. Somewhere deep inside his mind he refused to know what Sean was referring to. Lying? When did he lie to Sean? Heck, he was living a lie, but no way was he talking about _that_. But what else could it be? Or…no, it couldn’t be. Yes, it could. He knows, Elijah. He knows, you little immature boy. He knows the whole dirty truth. No, shut up. Leave me alone. Oh, how he hated that fucking voice in his head. He wanted to keep it quiet forever, but at some occasions it would pop up again and nag and nag and nag, never giving him a chance for peace.

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” Elijah heard himself say. It sounded blank and distant, like someone else was talking instead of him. The look that Sean gave him told him that this was the worst thing he could have said.

“Jesus, Elijah…,” Sean mumbled and ran a hand through his hair. He began to appear visibly upset and if Elijah had still been wondering why the atmosphere had suddenly changed so immensely when they had entered the house, he was not wondering anymore. Sean was distressed. Maybe even mad. At him?

“Stop this, please. Stop pretending and stop lying to me.”

It was cold. Damn cold. Elijah thought he should turn on the heater. Didn’t Sean find it cold as well? Just as cold as it was a few weeks ago, when Sean had told him he knew Peter hadn’t called Elijah back earlier. He was in the middle of his worst nightmare, but a faint glimmer of desperate hope made Elijah believe that maybe, just maybe Sean was not talking about what he thought he was talking about. But that glimmer was put out harshly just a few seconds later when Sean said the words that Elijah had hoped and prayed he would never say.

“I know about you and Dominic, Elijah. Don’t try to deny it. I saw you.”

He couldn’t stand anymore. He literally felt like someone had knocked the ground away beneath his feet. His legs felt like jelly, but his eyes were fixed at Sean’s. His vision became blurry and when Elijah blinked he realized it was due to tears. What had they done wrong? When had they been too risky, when had they lost their ever-present caution? No, he wouldn’t cry. Sadness wasn’t his primary feeling in this very moment. All he saw was a big dark threatening cloud that hovered over his love. And only because Sean knew about it? Fuck it, it was none of his damn business. It was nobody’s fucking business.

Pulling his hands away from his face after wiping the wetness away, Elijah took a few steps towards Sean. His face held an icy-cold glare as he started to speak.

“So what?” he hissed, surprised how defensive he sounded in his own ears. “Are you shocked? Do you hate us now because we are not properly straight? Yes, Dom and I are together, do you have a problem with that?” It was out. God, he couldn’t believe it.

Sean raised his hands, in a calming gesture. “Elijah…it’s okay. I don’t mean to cause you any trouble. Really. Just please, calm down and let’s talk reasonably about this…”

“No!” Elijah crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You don’t understand! Nobody fucking understands! I know you wanna take the most important thing in my life away from me. But I won’t let that happen, you hear me? Forget it!”

He was panting and his heart hammered wildly. Elijah was angry. Beyond angry. But also so, so scared. He needed strength that he was not sure he had. He needed Dominic…God, where was he…at home…so far away…

Elijah’s anger got overpowered by grief and despair. Feelings that he had struggled to suppress until now. Shit, he wasn’t going to cry. He didn’t have a reason to…did he?

“Fuck…,” he sighed and buried his face in his hands, his protection shield slowly crumbling. “Fuck fuck fuck…”

A hesitant hand touched his shoulder and that made Elijah lose control. Sniffing quietly, he covered his eyes to prevent Sean from seeing his tears. It was useless of course. Yeah, you naive little boy. You think you can fool Sean like that? Think again. Before he realized what was happening, Elijah felt the hand remove and two arms wrap themselves around him. He kept his face in his hands as Sean pulled him into a tight embrace.

“It’s okay, Lij…,” Sean whispered calmly, his hands rubbing Elijah’s back soothingly. He was determined to give the boy as much time as he needed to. Of course Sean’s revelation was a shock to him. It must have come totally out of the blue. Sean had been contemplating the entire week, observing Elijah, watching him, studying him. He had waited a few more days because something had been very striking. Elijah had looked happier than Sean had ever seen him before. The very beginning of their time together in New Zealand compared to the Elijah of this week, it was a difference like day and night. At first it had been only him and Elijah and then gradually the rest of the cast had joined them. The arrival of Dominic had certainly been a turning point. Elijah had lit up and Sean had witnessed sides about him he hadn’t known existed. Then Billy and Orlando had made the picture complete. Elijah had rambled about the group of Brits like there was no tomorrow and Sean had been quite amused by that fascination.

In the course of time Elijah had gradually morphed into another person. He had become more confident, more at ease with himself and simply more relaxed. Sean couldn’t quite put his finger on it, he couldn’t even tell when exactly it happened. Principal photography had not yet begun though. Then another change in Elijah had struck Sean. When was that? Must have been around November. Where had they been in November? On the South Island, mainly in the Queenstown and Te Anau region. Could it be that Elijah and Dominic got together there? But…how? When? Sean got more and more confused the longer he thought about it. He finally wanted answers.

Elijah was sobbing openly now. The last time he was crying like this, held by someone who was trying to comfort him, had been with Dominic. Oh, how he wished it was Dominic holding him right now. He would make it all better. He always made everything better. Nothing mattered when they were together, nothing and no one, only the two of them.

Sean led Elijah over to the couch where he sat down with him. Slowly but surely the sobs decreased and Elijah wiped his red eyes with his sleeve. It pained Sean to see him like this. He didn’t even want to know what Elijah had been going through. How many months had they kept it secret?

“Lij…,” he began softly when he was sure Elijah was able to listen to him. “I’m not your enemy. I hope you know that. You do know that, don’t you?”

Blue, dark-circled eyes looked up at him. “We had to lie,” Elijah said, his voice raspy and tear-stricken. “We had to keep it secret. It’s the only way to protect it.”

Sean kept an arm around his shoulder, glad when Elijah didn’t pull away. He waited patiently for a few minutes until Elijah was calmed down enough to try a conversation, then he removed his arm from around him. Sitting back, Sean kept his eyes on Elijah’s face which was bent down, like he was feeling ashamed. His fingers were fidgeting in his lap.

“So…when did you realize that you’re gay?” Sean asked straight away. Maybe this was the best way to approach this. Not mentioning Dominic, not mentioning his relationship. Just focusing on Elijah and Elijah alone.

Raising his eyes from his fingers, Elijah looked at Sean like he had just asked the most shocking question. Well, he should have expected that this question would come, right? He would once again have to relive those dark times from his past and reveal his most inner uncertainties that used to haunt him. He had done that in the presence of only two people so far. Dominic and Hannah. He couldn’t bear the sight of Sean’s eyes very long. They gave him chills. They made him feel judged and condemned, even though Sean might have different intentions. He just cared, didn’t he? Then why did his eyes have such a prying look? Elijah lowered his gaze again and emitted a deep sigh.

“I…had a girlfriend when I was 16. Or…I tried to. It didn’t work out. I couldn’t tell why, but I guess deep inside I was suspecting something, but I didn’t wanna admit it to myself. Then there was nothing for a long time until…Dominic arrived…”

He trailed off. He didn’t want to tell Sean the whole story. He definitely wouldn’t go into detail. Elijah and Dominic had told Billy about their first moments together, they had told him about their first kiss and the time that followed, but they had never shared the most intimate things. Neither the emotional nor the physical ones. Not because Billy might have probably covered his ears from all the “TMI”-stuff, but because they needed to keep those to themselves. Not even their best friend would know. Dominic had told Elijah that most men in man/woman-relationships just loved to brag about their “latest conquests” and didn’t mind spilling every detail in the company of their mates. He had giggled at Elijah’s reaction which had been so typical of him. “Gah, are all straight guys insensitive bastards? If yes, well, I’m glad we’re not straight.” Elijah was a guy, but in some respects he could compete with any woman.

He hoped Sean wouldn’t press the matter any more. He would not tell him how his relationship began. It was too precious to let Sean ruin it with some remark.

“Well, I guess I did suspect something about Dom. He was so open-minded and everything from the beginning on. Guys like that are always those you should keep an eye on,” Sean said in a tone that irritated Elijah. He turned his head and looked directly into Sean’s eyes. What do you know about Dom, he thought, inwardly fiery with anger. You know fucking nothing. Dom is not like other guys. He’s unique and incomparable. He’s special.

“He’s not gay,” Elijah simply said, trying very hard to keep his voice under control and not to sound too harsh. “He’s bi-sexual.”

“Oh,” Sean raised his eyebrows, a reaction that irritated Elijah even more than his seemingly casual comment before. “He sure knows how to have fun then, huh?” he added with a grin that almost drove Elijah over the edge. It didn’t sound all too respectful. Not respectful at all.

“What's the matter with you?” Elijah asked, gaining some of the confidence he had had when yelling at Sean just a few minutes ago. “Are you homophobic or what?” His voice couldn’t have sounded more serious and even a little threatening. Nobody made fun of his relationship. Nobody made fun of Dominic. And nobody treated them without respect. So when Sean began to laugh, Elijah felt his hand clench to a fist almost automatically. What the fuck are you laughing about, huh?

“Elijah,” Sean giggled, looking at his friend like he was…yeah…like a little boy who had said something wrong. Elijah began to feel seriously mad. “Please. In case you forgot, I grew up in Hollywood, just like you. I have more gay friends than I can count. I have nothing against gays and their lifestyle. I don’t even understand why you didn’t tell me about your…situation.”

“My situation?” Elijah repeated the word in a sarcastic tone. “You mean that I like cocks or that I’m with Dom?”

That stifled Sean’s chuckle instantly. “Elijah…there’s no need for this language,” he said seriously and once again Elijah couldn’t help but notice that certain tone.

“You know, don’t you think that sometimes you treat me a little too much like a child, Sean?” There. It was finally out. And it was the truth. Dominic had noticed it from the very beginning on, way before Elijah himself had. Sean could be obsessive, not just when it came to safety measures. He could also be overly obsessive regarding Elijah. His need to protect was suffocating sometimes.

“What?” Sean laughed. “I just want what’s best for you. I want to make sure you have a good time. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

Oh yeah, I’m having an awesome time right now. Thank you so much, Seanie.

“Is that so?” Elijah asked, sounding seriously surprised. “Well, I think you treat me like I’m another kid of yours. Look, it’s nice how concerned you are for my well-being and all. I appreciate it, really. But I’m 19 years old. I don’t claim I’m all grown up, but I’m certainly not a child anymore. You’re ten years older than me, you have more experience with life, but I need to make my own experiences, Sean. I need to make my own mistakes. You can’t shield me from everything, you know.”

Elijah noticed how his voice became softer and softer while he was speaking. It felt good to get it off his chest, to finally tell it to Sean face-to-face.

Sean, however, sensed that the moment was right to address what he had wanted to address. Elijah had just brought the point up himself, probably without even realizing it. It was a good sign. Maybe Elijah would see it himself.

“I know,” he replied. “I’m sorry if my behavior annoyed you, Lij. I really only want the best for you. I’ve grown very fond of you.”

Elijah sighed. His eyes softened and he actually felt a little bad for Sean. In one respect he was like Dominic. He cared about Elijah and felt responsible for him. Only Sean did that in a totally different way.

“And I’m sorry if I’m acting like an ungrateful wanker. I know you care about me and my safety, but sometimes it’s just a little too much, you know.”

Despite the somewhat tense atmosphere, Sean couldn’t help the small chuckle. “Wanker? Dear, you are slowly morphing into a Brit, Lij.”

Elijah blushed a tad when he realized what he had said. He would always remember the British swear words lesson and picking up certain terms from Dominic was something he almost did subconsciously. He quickly turned serious again though. He still owed Sean an explanation after all.

“I was scared to tell you about my sexuality. I mean…well…just look at you. You’re married, you have a little daughter, you live this picture-perfect family daddy life. I thought knowing your co-star is gay would turn you off. I was afraid you might not accept it. You never know how people react. If they’re tolerant or if they bash you…”

Sean bit his bottom lip as he thought about the right words. He had spent many, many hours contemplating and finding a way to convince Elijah. But now that he was sitting in front of his young mate…it wasn’t that easy. But it needed to be said. Elijah needed to get saved. Just looking at him in this very moment…crushed…sad…uncertain…you’re not that happy after all, are you, Lij?

“Elijah…,” Sean leaned forward, making sure that he got into eye-contact with him. When he got what he wanted, he continued. “I understand your fear. Believe me, I do. But just because I’m straight and married to a woman doesn't mean I’m homophobic, okay? I need to ask you something and please, be honest with me, yeah? This is very important.”

Elijah felt himself tense up again. He didn’t like the tone of Sean’s voice. He had a certain feeling that he would not like the direction of this conversation, but he just nodded silently and waited for Sean to continue. Maybe his prejudices would turn out to be totally wrong.

“How long have you and Dom been together?”

Don’t go into details, Elijah silently reminded himself. He doesn’t wanna know the details anyway.

“Almost three months.”

The way Sean’s eyes widened at that response told Elijah that they hadn’t been that bad at hiding after all. If Sean never suspected anything during the early times…

“Wow…,” Sean gasped. “And you managed to keep it secret for so long…”

“Well, we are smart enough not to shout it from the rooftops,” Elijah remarked in a lightly cynical tone that didn’t go unnoticed.

“Yeah…I suppose you are…,” Sean said and cleared his throat. “Elijah, please listen to me. I want you to understand just what you are risking here. You’re risking pretty much everything and I hope you are aware of that. If the wrong person finds out about you and Dom, if that wrong person runs to the press, then you can be sure that it’s gonna be a huge scandal.”

Leaning back and crossing his arms, Elijah took a deep breath. Here we go again. Elijah, the little innocent child, huh?

“I know that, Sean. You really think I don’t know that? I’m very fucking aware of that and so is Dom. Why do you think we’ve tried everything to keep it secret? We’ve never done anything in public, only when we could be sure that nobody saw us. God only knows how _you_ found out.”

“I saw you behind the feet trailer, a few days before your birthday,” Sean said honestly. They needed to be honest with each other now. After so many weeks and months of lying.

“You’ve known for over a week!? Oh, awesome…,” Elijah sighed and briefly rubbed his eyes. He felt awfully exhausted all of a sudden. And he was craving for a cigarette. “Well, like I said, we’re both very well aware that this would cause a scandal. Which is why you may not tell anyone, you understand? No one!”

“Elijah…,” Sean ran a hand through his hair, desperate to get it across. “You cannot keep it secret forever. No matter how hard you try. I found out when you apparently tried to be careful. What if the wrong person catches you next time, huh? It’s not just _your_ reputation that you risk here. It’s also this movie. Frodo and Merry, the two gay hobbits of Lord of the Rings. Yeah, that’s what the gossip rags will call you. Do you wanna do this to Peter? This movie is the project of his lifetime. Just think of all the people who are involved in this. Everyone’s work. The franchise. It would be overshadowed and thrown into the dirt. Do you want that, Elijah? Are you that selfish? I don’t think so.”

Elijah gasped out loud. His wide eyes stared at Sean, like he was throwing invisible daggers at him. His gaze was icy-cold.

“Selfish? Selfish!?” Getting up from the sofa like something had stung him, Elijah nearly knocked the table over. “How dare you call me selfish! Stop fucking belittling me! You’re not the only one here who knows how fucking nasty Hollywood can be! Do you think the last months have been easy? When you always have to hide and act like nothing’s going on in public? When you wanna touch and hug and kiss, but know you can’t? Fuck Sean, I know it’s dangerous, but it’s worth it. It’s more than worth it! I’m in love with Dom! I love him more than anything in this world, and if that means giving up my acting career after this movie and retreating from the business, then I’ll be happy to do just that!”

“You don’t mean that!” Sean got up as well and took a few steps towards Elijah who had moved further into the room. The younger guy was panting heavily and his usually flawlessly pale skin held a light flush. “Elijah, you cannot mean that! Even if nobody finds out about you two before the movies come out, would you seriously throw away your career just like that? My God Elijah, do you realize what a star you will be in two years time? What opportunities you’ll get? And you wouldn’t only destroy _your_ career, you would destroy Dominic’s as well!”

“Oh, stop it!” Elijah yelled at him and raised his forefinger in a threatening gesture. “Don’t act like you care about Dom! You don’t give a fucking shit about him or his career! He’s just the evil guy who pulled poor little Elijah into the dark gay abyss, isn’t he? And by the way, it’s my business and my business alone what I’m doing with my career! Fuck, if anyone knows how I’m feeling it should be you! You’re married, you know what it’s like to be in love! I’m in love and I’m happier than I ever thought I could be! Why can’t you just accept that and be happy for me? For us? We’ll be extra careful and nobody will ever know!”

Sean shook his head and struggled to remain calm. Yelling back at Elijah would be no use, on the contrary, it would only make the situation worse than it already was. He needed Elijah’s trust, his confidence, not his wrath and anger.

“You don’t understand, Elijah. I don’t mean to harm you. I want to protect you. I don’t think your relationship is bad. I don’t doubt that you’re in love with Dom and I don’t condemn you. I’m saying that Hollywood would do that. The media, everything. Please Elijah…please…think about it…don’t do this…”

“Don’t do what?” Elijah inquired. “Don’t be in love? Sorry, but that won’t happen. Never ever.”

They were now standing only a few feet away from each other, Elijah with his arms crossed and eyes glaring and stubborn, and Sean with gesticulating hands, still trying to somehow achieve his goal. Which just needed to be achieved, there was no other way.

“If you don’t wanna think about your career or the success of the movies or Peter, at least think about Dom. Think about the career he could have after this, everything he could have. If you really love him, let him go…”

The tension between them was so thick that it was unbearable. All Sean could do now was hope and pray that Elijah would make the only right decision in the end. Though judging from the killing looks he gave him right now, that was not very likely.

“This conversation is over,” Elijah muttered, his voice deep and menacing. It sounded like he had to press each word out of his throat. “Leave my house.”

Sean had never heard Elijah sound like that. He almost feared Elijah might jump at him and strangle him any moment. He was beyond furious. Without another word, Sean moved towards the door. He had done what he could. Reaching for the door handle, he stopped for a moment, but didn’t turn his head as he spoke. “You said you would have to make your own mistakes. Well, this is one of them. I hope you’ll make the right choice after all. If not…good luck…”

And with that, he opened and closed the door, disappearing into the night.

If the tension before had been unbearable, then the silence now was suffocating. Elijah kept staring at some point in the distance, his body completely motionless and his emotions numb. He wished someone would pinch him and wake him up from this nightmare. It was a nightmare, wasn’t it? He was sleeping, safely enveloped in Dominic’s arms. His mind was fucking with him. No, it wasn’t a nightmare. He would never have bad dreams when he was sleeping next to Dominic. The point he was staring at became blurry. He knew that sign. It meant that tears were streaming down his face, but he hadn’t realized it. Slowly, very slowly, he crouched down where he was standing and raised his hands to his face. The sniffing turned into sobbing and then into heavy weeping as Elijah cried miserably, in the middle of his living-room floor. He had just been thrown into his biggest nightmare and there was no way out.

Fuck you, Sean. Fuck you, Hollywood. Fuck you, everyone. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? Why did they want to take away from him what he so desperately needed? Why did they want to take away his love from him?

Clutching his stomach, Elijah thought he would get sick. His head was aching and he was trembling violently.

Elijah didn’t know how long he had been in this position when his surroundings slowly came back into his consciousness. Where was he? What happened? Dominic…he had been going to meet Dominic…shit, he was feeling like a wreck. The phone, not too far away. Elijah crawled over to the couch table and picked up the receiver. His shaking hands dropped it and he cursed. Picking it up once more, he tried to remember Dominic’s number. Where has it gone? It had always been branded in his mind, just like Dominic’s beautiful image. Elijah wiped his cheeks dry with one hand while his other hand struggled to dial the number he thought was that of his waiting love. A beeping sound on the other end of the line. Only once, then a distressed voice answered.

“Lijah?”

Feeling fresh tears come to his eyes, Elijah squeezed them shut and held the phone in a death grip, his body pressed against the wall next to the couch table.

“Yeah…it’s me…,” he managed to utter hoarsely. He felt like shit and he obviously sounded like shit.

“Oh, thank God! I was so worried about you! What happened!?”

Oh Dommie…I love you…please…help me…make it go away…make it alright again…please…

“I’m sorry. I’m at home. I’m not feeling well.” That was the truth. He wasn’t lying. It was the truth. A part of the truth. “Must have been something I’ve eaten…I don’t know, I’m just feeling…sick…”

That was a lie. He was lying to Dominic. Could he get any more miserable? Screw you, Elijah. You don’t deserve him.

“Oh fuck,” Dominic gasped into his ear. “Do you want me to come over? I’ll come over, wait a minute.”

“No…it’s okay…,” Elijah said, trying to sound a little more forceful. “I’ll just go to bed now. I’m sure it’ll be better tomorrow.”

Please, believe me, Dommie. You don’t wanna see me right now. And you don’t have to worry. Please…don’t let my shitty evening ruin yours. He heard Dominic sigh heavily. He clearly wasn’t convinced why he should stay where he was when Elijah was ill.

“Alright. But I’ll be there tomorrow. Drink some hot tea, baby.”

“I will…,” Elijah croaked. “Good night, Dom.”

“Night, Lij. Love you…”

More fresh tears wetting his cheeks. “Love you, too…”

Elijah hung up before his whimpering could reach the person on the other end. The one person who meant more than anything to him. Who would always mean more than anything to him.

What would he tell Dominic tomorrow? Shit, he couldn’t think…his head felt like it would explode any second. Do not worry about it now. With a final effort, Elijah got up and dragged himself into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him like that would somehow keep the world outside. That would be a wonderful thing. Only Dominic and him, all alone, for the rest of their lives. Fuck you, homophobic bastards. Fuck you, world.

Yes, that would be a wonderful thing. And it would never happen. Forget it, little naive boy.

Elijah collapsed on his bed, his eyes closed. I love you, Dommie. I will always love you.

Darkness engulfed him.

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Dominic pressed the doorbell longer than it was certainly necessary. It was morning, early in the morning, and Elijah was probably still asleep. But who knew? If he was sick, then maybe he hadn’t gotten much sleep. Dominic for sure hadn’t gotten much that night. After the phone call he had stored his food supplies in the fridge and the freezer chest, his mind miles away. Elijah had been perfectly fine the day before. They had talked about their evening plans and had been very much looking forward to spending a cozy night at Dominic’s place. The food had already been purchased and Dominic had been determined to make the best dinner Elijah had ever tasted. And a few hours later he got that phone call that had left him puzzled, confused and beyond worried ever since. Elijah had sounded like he had just received the worst message someone could receive. Could it be something foul he had eaten? Dominic tried to remember their meals. Nothing unusual and none of the others were sick. At least not Billy, Orlando and Sean whom he had called before leaving the house and heading for Elijah’s place. He had been too worried to even ask Sean what he had talked about with Elijah last night. Well, just another reason why he desperately needed Elijah to open the door.

Nothing happened. Maybe Dominic hadn’t pushed the doorbell long enough after all? Stepping from one foot to the other, he lifted his finger again and touched the small button. Just at that very moment he heard the sound of keys in the lock and the door finally opened. Elijah was standing in front of him, wearing pajama pants and a sweater, his hair all ruffled and his eyes framed by dark circles.

“Hey,” Dominic didn’t even wait for an invitation. He just stepped through the door, his eyes never leaving Elijah’s paler than usual face.

“Hey,” Elijah said, his voice sounding raspy and hoarse as he shut the door again and turned around, moving towards the couch. The very same couch he and Sean had been sitting on last night. Talking, yelling, fighting. Elijah shuddered and crossed his arms, feeling just as cold as he had a few hours ago. He stopped in the middle of the living-room and felt Dominic’s eyes on him. He had followed him silently and was now standing in front of him. Elijah found it hard to look him in the eyes. The concern that was so clear in those blue-grey orbs. Dominic didn’t know what was going on. That Elijah had had one of the worst nights of his life. His eyes were still lowered to the carpet as he felt Dominic come even closer and a gentle forefinger under his chin, making him look up. Finally Elijah’s eyes met Dominic’s. He knew he looked like shit and he wasn’t too sad about it. It emphasized his lie. Yeah, he had lied to Dominic. He was a pathetic liar, but he had to do it. He couldn’t tell Dominic the truth. If he did, there would only be an unnecessary enmity between Dominic and Sean. He had everything under control.

“How are you feeling?” Dominic asked, the concern in his eyes also audible in his voice. His finger was still tucked underneath Elijah’s chin. “You look awfully ill. What happened last night? What did you eat? How long was Sean here?”

Questions. Too many questions that only made it worse. Elijah wanted Dominic to stop, to just quit worrying, but how to do that without telling the whole truth? Everything is okay, Dommie. I just need some rest. And forget about Sean’s painful words. That’s all. I’ll be your Lijah again, soon. Just wait and give me some time. I’m just still shocked and crushed because someone who I thought was my friend told me to dump you. How could I ever dump you? How could I ever break up with you and throw away the best thing that has ever happened to me? I’ll be alright, you just wait and see…

Running a hand through his tousled hair, Elijah cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound stronger and more secure. “He left after we talked. It wasn’t anything important. Really, I don’t even know why he made such a fuss over it. It was nothing. Just unimportant stuff.”

That wasn’t a lie. It was unimportant because Elijah wouldn’t allow it to have an affect on him. He just wouldn’t let it. He would push it into the darkest corner of his mind and eventually forget about it. He wouldn’t let it freak him out once he was able to think again. That’s why he didn’t have to burden Dominic with this. Not with something that wasn’t worth getting upset over. And Dominic would get upset over it and then he would confront Sean and probably get into a huge fight. No, Elijah couldn’t let that happen. He would deal with Sean on his own. Soon the hobbits would shoot on different locations, so it would be easier to keep Dominic and Sean apart. But it would also mean that Elijah and Dominic would be apart more often. Something Elijah refused to think about yet.

“Unimportant stuff?” Dominic raised an eyebrow. He didn’t know what to make of that statement. “You know you can tell me anything, Lij. You know that, don’t you?”

“I know,” Elijah said. He was now feeling seriously unwell. Maybe he was going to be ill after all. “Really, it’s not worth talking about. Just something between him and me.”

Oh Elijah. What’s going on? I know that look…Dominic struggled not to push Elijah any further. Even if Elijah wasn’t saying all he should say, it was no use now. He had learnt that he could trust Dominic and if he didn’t want to tell him what was wrong right now, then Dominic had to be patient and not make it worse by making Elijah feel pushed into a corner. He still hadn’t managed to erase all of Elijah’s uncertainties. Sometimes he would get worried about the most trivial stuff. But something told Dominic that this time it wasn’t anything trivial. He just hoped that they weren’t taking a step backwards. Elijah needed to know that he could rely on Dominic. Always and forever.

“Baby…,” Dominic sighed and removed his hand from Elijah’s chin. He wrapped his arms around the slender frame and hugged him close to his chest. “Just know that I’m here for you, okay? Whatever might bother you, you can share it with me. Your problems are my problems and seeing you suffer makes me suffer as well. You don’t ever have to go through anything alone again, yeah? No matter what it is. Was it anything Sam related again? Did he complain again that his role wasn’t big enough?”

Sometimes Sean was really hard to understand. They weren’t even halfway through principal filming yet, but he would often complain how Samwise was not heroic enough in his eyes. Peter had made it clear that in the beginning Sam was not going to be that big a character. The first film was mainly an introduction of the characters and the plot. Like all the other characters Samwise would grow in the course of the story. But Sean was so afraid that he would have to play a whimsical, bumbling character, just because of that animated Lord of the Rings movie he had seen. And he wouldn’t hide his displeasure, saying again and again that he hoped Peter would see the importance of Sam for the story. It annoyed Dominic to no end sometimes and he could imagine how Elijah was suffering with Sean’s constant whining. Patience was a virtue, but a virtue that Sean Astin did not have.

“No, it wasn’t that,” Elijah murmured as he pressed himself against Dominic’s body. It was such a comforting thought, the conviction that nothing could happen to him as long as Dominic was here. Even if that conviction was just in his head.

“He just doesn’t know when to mind his own business, is all.”

Pulling away a little, Elijah felt his heart beat faster as he looked up into Dominic’s still concerned eyes. A frown now lingered on that face and Elijah briefly wondered if he had already told too much. He lifted a hand up to Dominic’s cheek, touching the lightly unshaven skin there.

“Don’t worry, please. It’s nothing.”

Dominic wanted to believe him, but something inside him told him that Elijah was not saying everything. He knew him. He could tell by now when Elijah was hiding something, when he was bothered by something and didn’t want to talk about it. And right now the blue eyes revealed an inner turmoil that Dominic had seen before. Elijah’s expressive eyes could not hide anything very well, no matter how good of an actor he was.

“If you don’t wanna talk about it right now, I understand,” Dominic said gently, despite his slight inner frustration. “But when you feel like it, please come to me, okay? I help you, I’ll always help you. Don’t ever be afraid to tell me anything.”

It took all his strength for Elijah not to spill what was whirling around in his head. It was unhealthy not to let it out, he had made that experience when he had been going through his insecurities concerning Frodo. It only made him smoke more. Maybe he should start a diary, one like Dominic had. Tell your problems and most secret thoughts to a piece of paper. Damnit, he didn’t want to have secrets from Dominic. He did want to share everything with him, just not this. It would only cause unnecessary trouble.

“It’s nothing, Dom,” he repeated. “I’m tired, would you mind if I go back to sleep?”

“Of course not. And then I’ll make you some tea. Mum’s special recipe.”

Together they walked into Elijah’s bedroom where Dominic wrapped him up in his embrace. He didn’t want to press the matter any further. If something was going on, Elijah would tell him sooner or later. He had done so before. He just needed time. Whatever it was, Dominic swore to himself that he would do everything to help Elijah through it. Waving his fingers through the soft dark hair, Dominic held the soon sleeping body against his.

We can make it through anything, Lijah. We can make it. Together. I’ll never let you go through anything alone ever again.

Another silent promise.

 

~**~

 

Two weeks passed by and filming continued. Feet at five in the morning, listening to too loud music, hearing Ian McKellen’s annoyed protests from the other trailer department, shooting Bag End studio scenes. Everything was going the way it always had.

No. Not everything.

Dominic and Billy had great fun shooting the fireworks scene, together with Ian. The large plastic rocket that would get off into the air in the movie and create an impressive dragon of fire was supposed to shoot through the roof of the tent and take it with it. The scene showed Merry and Pippin in their purest form. The carefree, cheeky hobbits that would always get into trouble. Parade roles for the two Brits. Ian would often joke along with them and tell them the most amazing and fascinating stories.

Yes. It could all be so perfect.

Elijah turned away from the scene and emitted a deep sigh. Leaning back against the studio wall in a secluded spot, he closed his eyes. He loved watching Dominic act. Especially together with Billy. Whenever he had time, he would find a way to sneak over and find a place to watch them. Watch Dominic. His Dommie. A lump built in his throat.

He barely remembered the past days. It all seemed so distant, like it was hidden in a thick fog. Dominic and Elijah had continued living their lives. They had continued working, they had continued spending time together in the evening whenever they weren’t too tired or hanging out with the others. They had simply continued the way they always had. And Elijah had struggled to fight the voice inside his head that had haunted him ever since the fight with Sean.

I have to make my own mistakes. I have to make my own experiences. That’s what Elijah had said and he had meant it. But something had been planted into Elijah’s mind and no matter what he was trying to do, it kept on growing and growing. He didn’t know what it was. Voices. Battling personalities. Conflicting convictions. His heart and his mind in an everlasting fight.

Elijah placed a hand on his forehead, brushing the curls of his Frodo wig away. He felt the beginning of a headache. He should go over to the medics and ask for a pill. Something he had done quite a lot of times in the past days on set. He was beyond tired and, most of all, he was wretched.

“Hey Lij,” the voice that he wanted to hear least of all in this very moment penetrated Elijah’s ears. He opened his eyes, but kept his hand on his forehead. Sean’s concerned eyes met his tired ones.

“You’re not looking good, not good at all.”

Maybe if he closed his eyes again, Sean would disappear? Could it be that simple? Yeah right, little naive boy.

Taking a deep breath and fighting the light nausea he was feeling, Elijah looked directly at Sean instead of turning away.

“I’m fine,” he said bluntly. It had been like this for the past 14 days. Elijah and Sean had talked about the most necessary things only which involved just the filming process. The atmosphere between them was as cold as ice and hadn’t gone unnoticed by Peter. What excuse could they have given him? None. They could only reassure him that everything was okay and they would do their best. Eventually they would get their scenes right, using all the acting skills they had. It left Elijah weak and exhausted at the end of every day. He felt constantly tired and not in the mood to go out anymore. Dominic would often persuade him and then get worried when Elijah tried to refuse. He achieved exactly the opposite of what he wanted. He couldn’t cope with Dominic’s constant questions anymore.

What ‘s going on? What’s bothering you, Lijah? Please don’t shut me out again. You know you can talk to me. You know you can trust me. Please, baby…please…

He couldn’t cope with the look in Dominic’s eyes anymore. He was slowly breaking down, completely.

“No, you’re not fine,” Sean insisted. Usually Elijah would have brushed him off, telling him to mind his own fucking business. But even for that he had become too tired. The light pain in his head increased to a pounding aching.

“You can’t go on like this, Elijah.”

Elijah’s blank eyes stared at him. Too right. He couldn’t. But getting harassed by his supposed friend like this didn’t help him very much.

“Elijah…I’m begging you…think about what I said…”

Still staring at Sean like he was looking right through him, Elijah’s mind processed the words. They stabbed right into his heart and almost made him lose control. Damnit…what a mindfuck this all was…Were they really exchanging more than the necessary words?

“Leave me alone,” Elijah said in an empty tone and turned towards the door that led into the other room. He couldn’t bear being in the same room with Sean and Dominic who was not that far away. Who was having his fun and deserved every second of it. Elijah didn’t deserve it. He deserved to feel this miserable.

Sean grabbed his arm and pulled him back, a little more forcefully than he had meant to. A small glimmer of rage lit up inside Elijah and he glared at Sean, jerking his arm away from the strong hand that had a tight grip on him.

“Don’t touch me,” he hissed. He didn’t sound as strong and confident as he hoped though. Sean let go of him, but used his eyes to get through to him. Oh, those fucking penetrating eyes. Somehow those green orbs were able to evoke something deep inside of Elijah’s soul, something that made him feel like a little worthless and insecure creature.

“You’re ruining me, do you know that?” Elijah continued, a tinge of defeated sadness in his voice now. “You’re fucking ruining me. I’m not alright. I’m fucking pathetic. I lied to Dom. I have to pretend that everything is okay, but he knows it isn’t. He knows I’m hiding something, do you know how fucking miserable that makes me feel? I love him, for God’s sake. But I treat him like a piece of shit.”

Damnit, he wasn’t going to cry. Not here. Not fucking here. Not now. He quickly raised his hands up to his face and covered his eyes. A hesitant hand placed itself on his shoulder.

“I know, Lij…I know…”

A whisper that actually contained a hint of compassion.

“It’s not me who’s ruining you, Elijah. It’s you. You brought this upon yourself. You allowed yourself to get carried away by it. God, I wish I had known sooner. It gets worse every day, doesn’t it?”

Elijah nodded, it was an automatic act. He had no control over his body anymore. He didn’t want to talk about this with Sean. With no one. He just wanted to be left alone. But when he was alone, he would only drown in his own depression.

“I just fell in love…,” he mumbled into his hands. “I just…fell in love…”

Sean felt his heart break at the sight. He took a look around and was relieved that nobody was really paying any attention to them. So he didn’t contemplate any further as he closed his arms around Elijah’s body and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“I know you did, Lij…I’m so sorry…,” he tried to soothe his younger friend. Instead of using more and more persuading words, Sean just allowed Elijah to have a moment of peace and silence. The boy was beyond exhausted and he would not be able to keep it up for much longer. He would make the right decision, Sean was sure about that now. The past two weeks had shown that Elijah was on the right way. He was just going through a phase of denial that would eventually lead him on the right path of acceptance.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Elijah’s voice was barely audible against Sean’s chest. Sean tried his best to shield them from any possibly prying eyes, but that was not easy. Elijah wouldn’t move from the spot. “I can’t do this….I’m hurting him…I’m hurting the person I love…so much…”

Sean gently rubbed the warm back beneath his fingers. “You’ll do the right thing, Lij. I know you will…”

And what was the right thing supposed to be? Elijah honestly didn’t know. If he ended this, Dominic would get hurt, and if he didn’t end it, Dominic still would get hurt, just not yet. Sometime in the future. When the public would have found out about them and the big studio bosses wouldn’t offer them any roles. No matter what he did, it would have a bad ending.

Yeah, that’s what you get for being so naive, little boy. Or rather what you don’t get. Should have thought about that before you got involved with the aspiring British actor who could make it in Hollywood after this. Thanks to you it will end before it even started. Congratulations. Well done, boy.

Elijah squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. Voices, nothing but nagging voices inside his head for the past two weeks. He was going crazy and he was aware of that. What he was not aware of were the two blue-grey eyes that watched him from the distance. That watched him wrapped in Sean’s arms.

The fireworks scene inside the tent in the studio was finished. Dominic had been almost on the floor laughing so hard that tears had come to his eyes. He had always known that Billy had a particular girly side about him, just like Dominic himself had, but the scream that the Scot had emitted when the rocket went off into the air had been beyond priceless. It had been the first really carefree moment for Dominic since Elijah had recovered from his stomach problems. He still didn’t know what it was and what had caused it. He had a feeling it hadn’t been foul food. He wished he had a clue, but Elijah wouldn’t talk to him. And it frustrated Dominic like nothing else. That frustration reached another peak when his eyes fell on Elijah and Sean standing in the corner and Elijah clearly looking upset. What the fuck was wrong? Why did nobody see how distressed Elijah was? Why was nobody taking care of him? Only Sean? Why him of all people?

“Hey, what is it?” Billy stepped up next to Dominic and followed his gaze. He frowned when he saw the scene that had his friend frozen to the spot with his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed.

“I don’t know…,” Dominic said quietly, his eyes not leaving the awkward sight. “I don’t know a bloody thing…”

He wanted to go over to Elijah, hug him tight and pull him into another room, but he couldn’t move from the spot. Somehow he would get him to talk. He had done that before. He couldn’t deal with this anymore. Elijah pretending that everything was okay, faking smiles and acting like there was nothing bothering him. He couldn’t fool Dominic, didn’t he know that? He felt Elijah’s distress, he felt his inner turmoil like it was his own. Just when he found he could move his legs again, Elijah pulled away from Sean and they walked through the door into the next room.

“Dom?” Billy’s hand on his shoulder made Dominic turn his head and look at him. “You should talk to him, right now.”

“How, Billy? He won’t talk to me. He says everything’s okay, but he’s faking it. He seems to rather turn to Sean.” The last word sounded harsh and almost like it took Dominic a lot of effort to get it over his lips. “There’s something he thinks he can’t talk to me about, but with Sean. Do you know how bloody frustrating that is?”

Billy sighed and looked at the door that Elijah and Sean had just disappeared through. If Elijah was so reluctant to tell Dominic what was going on, then maybe a third party would be more successful.

“I’ll be right back,” he said and headed for the door. Dominic sat down in a nearby chair and grabbed a few screenplay papers in a desperate attempt to distract himself.

Billy found Elijah and Sean at the catering table. They were holding plastic coffee cups in their hands.

“Hey Lij, can I talk to you for a second?” Billy didn’t even wait for an answer, he just grabbed Elijah by the arm and dragged him along with him. He could feel Sean’s piercing eyes bore into his back. It was surprisingly easy to pull Elijah away. He didn’t resist or object in any way. He was just staring blankly ahead, his eyes dark-rimmed and lightly red, like he was trying very hard not to cry.

“Listen,” Billy began quietly, but determined. “I think you noticed by now that Dom knows something’s wrong with you. It hurts and irritates him that he doesn’t know what it is and that you won’t tell him what it is. But I’m telling you one thing, Lij, I won’t stand aside and watch you both run into your misery any longer. What's the matter with you? You changed from one day to the next for apparently no reason. So, stop insisting that everything’s fine and don’t give Dom any more of this bollocks. He senses that you’re not alright and today has proven that he’s right. He saw how Sean comforted you, so make up your bloody mind, Lij. He’s your boyfriend. If there’s a person you can trust, it’s him.”

That must have worked. It was all Billy could do and judging by the slow change in Elijah’s eyes which shifted from blank to sad he was right.

“I’m so fucking sorry…,” Elijah croaked and Billy felt glad that he wasn’t pushed back. “God, I’m so fucking sorry…I’m so pathetic…”

“Hey hey hey,” Billy interrupted him gently. “Don’t go there. You know Dom wants to help you. He’ll always be there for you. He loves you so much, it hurts him to see you like this. Talk to him…please…”

Elijah’s wet blue eyes met Billy’s and he nodded faintly, but didn’t say anything else. Breathing a sigh of relief, Billy smiled and wrapped an arm around Elijah’s shoulders.

“Don’t be scared, Lij. It’s Dom. Whatever it is, you’ll work it out.”

Not this time, Elijah thought, feeling defeated and empty. Billy was right. Elijah’s behavior was inexcusable. He had already messed up Dominic’s life enough. The last thing he deserved were more lies and more dishonesty. He deserved everything, all the luck and happiness in the world. He didn’t deserve Elijah standing in the way.

“I’ll tell him…,” he whispered. The words felt like another stab into his already numb heart. The decision was made.

 

~**~

 

The sushi tasted delicious, yet Elijah swallowed the last piece from his plate without really realizing it. His mind was miles away. He had ruined their first sushi evening and now they could finally enjoy it. At least as much as they could under the circumstances. Dominic studied him from the other side of the table. His slender fingers fumbled with his wine glass which was almost empty.

“Would you like some more?” he asked, knowing the answer in advance.

“No, thanks.”

Of course.

Getting up from his chair, Dominic grabbed the plates and started to clear off the table. It was better than sitting there, in awkward silence. Awkward silence was something he had never experienced with Elijah before and it scared him. He told himself they had not reached that point yet. They had been together for three months, not three years. Not thirty years. But maybe Elijah felt like that. Maybe he was bored with him already. No no, stop it. Not that direction…

Elijah stood up as well and helped Dominic. After a few minutes of mute work they were finished and Elijah flopped down on the couch in the living-room. How many happy hours they had spent in Dominic’s house. On this very couch. Snuggled against each other, listening to music, watching a movie, laughing, kissing and kissing some more, fondling and caressing…wonderful memories that Elijah would keep locked in his heart forever. And not only those. There was Te Anau, which would always be special. The place where they became one. The beginning of their life changing love. No one could take those memories away from Elijah, not even after tonight.

From the corner of his eyes he saw how Dominic slowly walked into the room and lowered himself next to him. Pulling his legs up to his chest, Elijah didn’t look at him. He just stared into nothingness. That’s what he was feeling. Nothing. Complete and utter blankness.

Dominic reached for his hand and held it tight in his. His thumb stroked the smooth, pale skin.

“Lijah…,” he breathed, not really expecting to get a reaction. But when Elijah actually turned his face towards him and even formed a smile that looked a little forced, Dominic dared to raise his hopes for maybe a conversation.

“Thank you…for the food…,” Elijah said and looked down at their intertwined hands, his fingers interlaced with Dominic’s.

“Hey, you’re very welcome,” Dominic smiled, his heart jumping with light joy inside his chest. He had missed this. The tender, quiet, relaxed moments with Elijah. They hadn’t had many of those lately.

“Do you remember Te Anau?” Elijah suddenly asked, a nostalgic expression on his face. “I’ll always remember it. Everything was just perfect there. So wonderful…so happy,” he trailed off, obviously lost in the memory.

Dominic didn’t know what to make of it. Elijah was lost in his thoughts, in pleasant thoughts, in wonderful memories, yet he looked like thinking about it pained him. He took a deep breath and asked the question that burnt in his soul.

“Are you still happy?”

Elijah looked up from their hands and looked directly at him. His eyes didn’t reveal anything. Dominic could tell he was looking for the right words and he didn’t know if that was a good sign. Elijah had to think about it? Something made his throat dry and constrict.

“Dom…I…,” Elijah began and briefly gazed at their entwined fingers again. “I want you to know that I’ve never been happier in my life than I was in the last months. You’re really…I don’t even know how to say it…you’ve become the center of my life, there’s nothing else when I’m with you…even when I’m not with you…”

Despite his slowly growing anxiety, Dominic managed another smile. “Same here,” he said and gave Elijah’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I keep repeating myself, I know. But it’s just like that. You’ve become everything to me, Lij. Everything.”

The words seemed to affect Elijah in an unexpected manner. He tried to keep his tears at bay, not tears of happiness. No, Elijah’s happy tears looked different. His sad tears were what Dominic could see now. He was once again amazed by how well he knew Elijah after six months. That was not a long time, but it seemed like a lifetime. It felt like he had known Elijah all his life and that was such an unbelievable impression.

“I…I need to be honest with you, Dom,” the staggering voice filled with tears and Dominic struggled to keep his arms to himself, not to wrap them around Elijah and make him lose control and break down by doing so. He knew it was best to give Elijah his space in situations like these. So he draped his arm across the backrest of the couch, but his other hand kept holding Elijah’s. And he didn’t intend to stop holding it until Elijah himself would want him to.

“I haven’t been honest with you and I’m so very sorry…,” Elijah wiped at his eyes with his free hand before wrapping it around his drawn up legs.

“Lijah,” Dominic said softly, his own heart aching at the sight. “You’re hurting, baby. Please let me help you. Don’t shut me out…” His fingers found a strand of hair at the back of Elijah’s head to stroke. “You know it’s useless to try to keep something from me. I have a sixth sense that’s for you and only you.”

That made Elijah smile again. A sad smile, but still a smile.

“I don’t deserve you, Dom…”

“Nah nah, bollocks,” Dominic’s eyes were glued to Elijah’s face, observing the different emotions, the inner struggle, the fear and despair. “You still don’t know how wonderful you are, do you? You are, Lij. You really are.”

“No, I’m not,” Elijah said in a determined tone and pulled his hand away. The moment Dominic had feared. Elijah pulling away from him. But he would let him, he would let him have his much needed space to talk. But it worried him that Elijah suddenly looked more angry than sad. He looked frustrated and irritated. Dominic wondered if he had done anything to cause this. Had he said anything? Had be fucked up without knowing? He would hate himself forever if he knew he had caused Elijah pain and hadn’t even realized it. But judging by Elijah’s behavior he seemed more angry with himself.

“What makes you say that?” he asked, feeling at a complete and utter loss.

“I…,” Elijah sighed heavily and closed his eyes. He reached up and put a hand on his forehead. The pounding headache returned and it slowly threatened to push him over the edge and into the abyss. He was going to lose everything. The love of his life. That’s what Dominic was. He couldn’t imagine having anyone else in his life, never ever. He couldn’t picture himself without him. It was a mind numbing thought, but he would somehow have to get used to it. It tore him into pieces inside, a horrible pain inside his heart that left him feeling cold and dead. Trying to swallow but choking on the dryness of his throat, Elijah croaked the words out.

“I can’t do this anymore…”

Dominic frowned. “Elijah?” he wasn’t quite sure if he had heard him right. The words didn’t make any sense to him. “What…can’t do what anymore?” If Elijah regretted his dishonesty and his lies, then Dominic was fine with that. He couldn’t help but feel hurt about Elijah not trusting him enough in the past days, but in order to make it alright again and to make up, they would have to talk first. And Dominic thought they were at least on the right way towards a talk. The pace was slow, but steady.

Elijah’s eyes looked into his, deeply into his, sadder than he had ever seen them before. “This…,” he whimpered and quickly wiped away a tear. His dam was slowly breaking down. “This…you…me…us…”

This was it. Burying his face in his hands, Elijah lost control and covered his wet eyes, his body shaking with sobs. He couldn’t bear to look at Dominic anymore. He couldn’t cope with the pain that he knew was there. It’s the right decision, he kept telling himself. It’s the right decision. The only way. If you really love him, let him go…I’m trying…I’m trying, I am…please, let this be over soon…

Dominic stared at him. He felt like someone had just hit him in the stomach, knocking every sign of life out of him and leaving him unconscious on the ground. No, that was what he had felt the second after Elijah’s words had punched right into his face. His tousled mind struggled to grasp the meaning. Some meaning that could explain the weird words. They still didn’t make sense, at least that’s what he was telling himself. There had to be a meaning, another meaning behind this. His eyes were glued to Elijah’s covered face.

Several minutes passed and nothing happened. Elijah sobbed and Dominic stared. He couldn’t understand it. It didn’t make any bloody sense.

“Elijah…,” he finally managed to utter, reaching one hand to his chest and placing it over his racing heart. He was going to get sick, he knew it. “Wh-…what…are you talking about…”

He’s breaking up with me. He’s leaving me. Oh my God…please…wake me up from this nightmare…get me out of here. This is a fucking misunderstanding. It has to be.

It took Elijah a few more minutes until he was able to say something. His face was terribly pale.

“I can’t be with you anymore…,” he stated flatly. He didn’t want to look at Dominic, but he did. He could at least be decent enough to face the guy whose life and career he had almost ruined for good. Confusion, hurt, anger, despair, it was all written all over Dominic’s face. Elijah just wanted to throw himself into his arms, kiss those wonderful lips and tell him he didn’t mean it. God, what was he doing? He was throwing everything away. He was kicking Dominic’s feelings with his feet. He was a fucking pathetic bastard who didn’t deserve anything but to be alone. Please Dommie…please…let me go…

“What…Elijah!” Dominic raised his voice, after the initial shock allowed him to react with something more than disbelieving staring. “What…what has gotten into you!? What’s this bullshit all about? Have I done anything? If I did, tell me what it is!”

Elijah shook his head sadly. “Dom…believe me, it’s nothing you said or did. It’s all me. You would regret this sooner or later. Even if you can’t see it yet, but you will.”

He winced as Dominic suddenly jumped up from the couch and stumbled a few feet away from him. He clasped a hand over his mouth and eyed Elijah in a way that gave him chills. “No, stop it. Stop it! I don’t get you, Elijah. This is not you. Tell me what’s wrong, so we can work it out! That’s what people in relationships are supposed to do! Work together, so they can get over their problems. Bloody talk to me, Elijah!”

“Dom…,” Elijah stood up on shaking legs, but didn’t approach him. He didn’t think he could make it that far. “We’re kidding ourselves. We’re living inside this pink bubble where everything is rosy and beautiful. But that bubble is so fucking fragile and we can’t protect it. There are so many threats from the outside.”

“What?” Dominic crossed his arms and glared at him. His anger overshadowed his hurt and that was probably not the worst circumstance right now. Losing his temper and breaking down would not help them in any way. “We talked about that, Lij! For hours, we talked it all through and we were both aware what we were getting into. We fell in love and we couldn’t do anything against it. Why do you bring it up again? We bloody knew it would be risky, but we were ready to get into it nonetheless. We were happy! Why did you change like this all of a sudden?”

He stopped as something hit him. God, how fucking blind had he been? More than two weeks, a sudden change after one particular night. “It’s Sean, isn’t it? Stop lying to me, Elijah. Does he have anything to do with this?”

Now Elijah did make a few steps towards him, rubbing his dark-circled eyes and sighing deeply. Everything was lost and over, but the least he could do was prevent a fight between Dominic and Sean. Or try to.

“Yes, he does. He has what you can have one day, Dom. A family.”

Dominic looked at him like he had completely lost his mind. “A family? Who says I can’t have a family one day, Elijah? Who says you and I can’t have a family of our own one day? Sean? Did he say that? What gives him the fucking right to tell me what I want and what I can’t have? What else did he say about me, huh? Does he know about us?”

Fucking shit. This was it. The moment Elijah had feared as much as this talk. If Dominic stormed off now and beat the shit out of Sean, then that would be entirely Elijah’s fault. And then everyone would find out.

“Answer me, Elijah. He knows about us, doesn’t he? Didn’t you think that maybe that might interest me as well?”

“Yes,” Elijah murmured in defeat and looked at the floor. “He knows…”

“Bloody shit…,” Dominic turned around and ran a hand through his hair. His wall of rage was slowly falling apart and the hurt he was feeling almost overwhelmed him. He didn’t give a shit anymore about Sean knowing or not knowing. What hurt and scared him beyond anything else was that Elijah did not trust him after all. They had worked so hard to get to where they were, to get to the point where they could actually be in a relationship. How could Elijah do this to them?

“Dom…,” he heard the quiet, miserably sounding voice behind his back. He didn’t turn around.

“Dom…I…I couldn’t tell you. I thought I could deal with it on my own. When Sean told me he knew, I got angry and told him to fuck off and leave us alone. I didn’t mean to let it affect me like this. I was going to just forget about it and go on, that’s why I didn’t tell you. I thought it was an unnecessary burden. But…it only got worse and worse. I tried to stay strong, but I failed. It’s the fucking voices inside my head, Dom. I can’t handle them anymore. They’re crushing me. They’re getting stronger and stronger and I can’t get them to shut up. It’s like Sean planted something inside my head and it’s destroying me from the inside if I go on like this.”

Fresh tears were now streaming down Elijah’s face. He was shaking and his eyes were burning like hell. Dominic turned around to face him, his own eyes sad and wretched. They were looking at each other for a long, silent moment, a few feet separating them. Elijah felt the strong, almost overwhelming need again to bury himself in Dominic’s embrace. He knew he didn’t deserve that, so he struggled to stay where he was.

 “An unnecessary burden?” Dominic repeated, sounding strangely loud in the quiet room. “You think that was an unnecessary burden? How can you ever believe that something that hurts you and makes you suffer could be an unnecessary burden to me? Fuck Lij, I love you! I wanna be there for you, always! If someone bothers you, tell me! If Sean dares to threaten us, then bloody hell, tell me and I’ll take care of it! We’re in this together, Elijah. That’s what relationships are supposed to be about. You don’t share only the happy times, you share the bad things as well.”

 Elijah nodded, feeling more like the little boy Sean always made him feel than ever before. He wiped at his eyes in a useless attempt to stop the tears. “You’re right,” he said in a small, stricken voice. “God Dom, I’m so fucking sorry…I just…I didn’t know what to do…shit…”

Dominic didn’t come any closer. The urge to just run off and confront Sean filled every inch of his body and he clenched his fists. Storming off and doing something he might regret later was not the best option, but it was so very tempting.

“You wanna throw it away,” he said matter-of-factly and Elijah’s gaze told him the answer he already knew. “You wanna throw it all away. Everything…”

 His feet seemed to move automatically, trembling but they did, as Elijah moved a little closer. “Dom…you…you are so incredibly lucky. You’re not gay, you can still find some woman and settle down with her. You can have a family. You can have a career and you can have a life you don’t have to be ashamed of. Please, think about it…”

“Shut up, Elijah!” Dominic yelled and Elijah made a few steps back at the sudden outburst. “What bollocks shit did Sean plant into your head, huh? He’s the last person to tell us what we can and what we can’t have! I’m not ashamed of us! I don’t want some woman! I want you and only you! And we can have a family, Elijah! There are options for gay couples! And concerning my career, well, that’s my business, don’t you think? If you’re worried about my career, then I tell you something. I don’t need a bloody career. I don’t want it anymore! You’re more important to me than fucking Hollywood!”

Elijah sniffed and shook his head. “No Dom, you say that now. But you’ll change your mind next year when the first movie is out. Think about your possibilities. I would only stand in your way.”

Now Dominic couldn’t hold his own tears back any longer. The mixture of frustration and despair overpowered him completely. “How can you even think that?” he said as the first tear slid down his cheek. “You’re everything, Lijah. Everything. Fuck, I need you, don’t you know that? Don’t do this to us, baby…”

He wiped the tear away, but it was soon replaced by another one. Elijah looked at the floor again and Dominic approached him until he was standing directly in front of him.

“This is not you, Elijah. This is Sean fucking with your head. Don’t…don’t allow him to tear us apart. Lij…I…please…I cannot be without you…”

Placing a trembling hand on Elijah’s shoulder and feeling the heat beneath the soft fabric of his shirt, Dominic put the other hand on Elijah’s waist and pulled him closer. Closer and closer until he could feel the shaking body against his chest. Elijah sniffed quietly as Dominic’s arms came around him, engulfing him in a warm embrace. It was just what he had been longing for, but now he realized that it couldn’t comfort him at all. On the contrary, it only made it worse. He squeezed his eyes shut as images popped up in his mind. Dominic in the company of Liv who had just arrived again, Dominic and that girl from Te Anau…what had her name been again? Elijah remembered how he had been watching the two in the speedboat, her giving instructions to Dominic and Dominic absorbing everything and even flirting a little with her. He also remembered the slight tinge of jealousy he had felt. Why did Dominic have to look so damn good with everyone? He could be with anyone, also a woman. Elijah couldn’t, but he didn’t care. He only cared about Dominic and his well-being. Everything he could have.

Gathering the last of his strength, Elijah forced himself to pull away. It wasn’t easy. Dominic was holding him so tightly, almost too tightly. But not so much that it hurt. That was another big difference between them. Elijah had hurt Dominic awfully, but Dominic would never do anything that might hurt Elijah. Eventually he managed to pull away from Dominic’s chest. Their eyes remained locked for a few seconds.

“I’m so sorry…,” Elijah whispered and moved backwards slowly until he reached the door. Then he ripped it open, stormed outside and slammed the door shut behind him.

The silence that followed this loud noise was more painful than any tearful fight could be. Dominic stared at the door which became blurry in front of his eyes. Tears streamed down his cheeks. Somewhere in the back of his numb mind he wondered how he was able to cry. You could only cry if you were feeling something, but what was he feeling? Nothing. Something inside of him had died the moment Elijah had disappeared through the door. The part of him that had belonged to the person he loved like he had never loved anyone before. The wonderful, lovely, breathtaking young American with the adorable giggle and the most beautiful eyes. It had been ripped out of Dominic’s body and torn into pieces. The part of him that had belonged to Elijah. His heart.

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

The drizzle that had started when he had left his house made Billy feel right at home. Just like in good old Scotland. He grinned and crossed the grass area as he moved over to the feet trailer. It was a few minutes past 5 on Monday morning and he was a little late. He mentally prepared himself for getting the piss taken out of him as he went up the steps to the entrance. But when he grabbed the handle and opened the door, all words of defense left him. Sean was sitting in his chair in front of the broad mirror, a cup of coffee in one hand, a book in the other. His make-up girl was standing behind him and ran a comb through his hair. Billy entered the small room and took a look around, a frown on his face. No one else was there.

“Morning, Billy,” Sean said, looking at him through the mirror and sipping from his cup. He looked like he couldn’t be any more relaxed.

“Morning,” Billy said absentmindedly. “Where are Dom and Elijah?”

Sean shrugged and put the cup on the table in front of him. He grabbed his plate with pancakes and a fork. “Not here yet. Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll come any minute. At least Elijah, you know how responsible he is,” he winked and shoved a piece of his breakfast into his mouth.

Still holding the door handle in his hand, Billy tried to believe Sean’s words. Though something in the pit of his stomach was not entirely sure. He had last seen Dominic on Saturday after shooting had ended for the day and he had said good-bye to his friend. Elijah had promised him that he would tell Dominic what was wrong with him. So, Billy had left the two of them alone and spent Saturday night with Orlando and Liv. He had tried to call Dominic on Sunday afternoon, but he hadn’t answered the phone. Nothing to be worried about, Billy had told himself. It meant that either they had talked, made up and were shagging their brains out or…or what? What else could they have possibly been busy with? Billy had also tried to call Elijah, but he hadn’t picked up either. He assumed that maybe Elijah had spent the night at Dominic’s place and hadn’t been at home yet, so he had decided to wait till Monday when they all had to go back to work anyway. But seeing neither Dominic nor Elijah right now left Billy more than a little concerned.

What was he supposed to do? Maybe close the door first of all. Billy did that and sat down in his chair. Glancing at Sean, he wondered how the guy could be this relaxed. He looked like today was some special holiday or something. Well, why would Sean be worried? He didn’t know about Dominic’s and Elijah’s problems. He didn’t even know about their relationship. And it’s probably better that way, Billy couldn’t help thinking to himself.

“You know, there’s one good thing about this,” Sean suddenly said and turned to Billy. “No blaring music. I can finally concentrate on my book.” The giggle that followed this statement irritated Billy for some reason. It sounded…tactless.

“Good for you,” Billy forced himself to smile, his fingers fumbling with themselves in his lap. A bowl with porridge had been placed on the table for him, but he didn’t touch it. The uncomfortable feeling in his stomach increased. The clock on the wall read ten minutes past five. Suddenly the door opened and Billy’s heart jumped as he jerked his head around. It was just Elijah’s make-up girl.

“Huh?” she frowned. “They’re still not here? Peter won’t like that.”

That was enough. Billy got up from his chair, mumbled an “I’ll be back” and headed past the girl outside. Jumping down the stairs, he stopped and looked around. No sign of his missing friends. It was still drizzling and the grass beneath his feet got wetter and wetter. The first option that popped into his mind was probably too easy to be successful, yet he decided to give it a try. Billy entered the trailer from behind and opened the door to the separate make-up station, the one that Ian had chosen for himself. He was relieved when he actually found Ian sitting in his seat and in the middle of getting his Gandalf beard attached to his face. When Billy stepped into the small department, the older man turned around and smiled at him brightly.

“Good morning, lad,” he said cheerfully. “What is going on? No music today?” Normally Billy would have laughed and made some joke in reply. But not at this moment. Ian had had himself voluntarily removed from the make-up station of the hobbits since he couldn’t take their loud music in the morning anymore. He had said something like “these young people give me a headache”, but he had still been in a good-natured mood.

“Uhm no, have you seen Dom or Elijah?” Billy asked hopefully.

“No,” Ian said and took a sip from his morning tea. “They’re not here yet?”

Billy tried to suppress a frustrated sigh, but didn’t manage very well. “Not yet. See you later, Ian.”

Turning around, Billy closed the door again and left the trailer. Puzzled concern was slowly grabbing him and he quickened his steps as he headed back to the parking lot. There was no other possibility. He had to drive back into town and check Dominic’s house. Peter and Fran would not be pleased at all with all of them being late, but what could Billy do? Dominic and Elijah were nowhere to be found. And if something happened…stop it, what’s supposed to have happened? Maybe they just overslept. Yeah, that must be it. Something harmless. 

As he moved over to his car, Billy almost bumped into someone. Just in the very last moment he looked up and stopped. Liv was standing in front of him, wearing one of her Arwen dresses, but her hair wasn’t done yet. She covered her head with an umbrella and looked at Billy with a frown when he almost stumbled into her.

“Hey Billy, what’s going on?” she asked him. He was out of breath, even though he had just walked the short distance between the trailer and the parking lot.

“Please tell me you’ve seen Dom and Elijah,” Billy demanded.

“I haven’t,” she said and seemed a little taken aback by that. She frowned even more when Billy looked like he had just been punched into the stomach. “What is it, what’s wrong,” she asked with worry.

“I don’t know,” Billy shook his head. “No one has seen them yet and they haven’t even called or anything. I’m going to Dom’s house.”

“I wish I could come with you,” Liv sighed, really regretting that she didn’t have any time. “But, you know, Fran is already waiting.”

“No problem,” Billy reassured her. “See you later, with them, I hope.”

“Let me know when you know where they are, yes?”

“I will,” Billy nodded at Liv and then quickly made his way over to his car. Ripping the door open and fumbling with his keys, he tried to think of some more possibilities. The one he wanted to believe most was that they were both reluctant to leave the bed. They worked everything out and now were happy as ever. But that wouldn’t keep them from coming on set the next day. It never had.

The drizzle still hadn’t stopped as Billy drove his car into Dominic’s street. It was almost six. Normally they would be sitting in their make-up chairs now, getting their ears glued to the heads, having breakfast, going through their lines and listening to music. Ian would pound against the other side of the wall and his grumbling voice would tell them to turn down the volume. Peter would be pissed off immensely.

Finally Dominic’s house came into view. Billy parked the car in the driveway, unfastened the seat-belt and opened the door. The first thing he noticed was Dominic’s car. It was still here. The windows of the house were dark, no lights were turned on. Not even the curtains were closed. It was almost a ghostly sight, like the house was abandoned and empty. Ridiculous. Maybe Dominic was simply still asleep. But why hadn’t he pulled the curtains in front of the windows then? Billy approached the front door and rang the doorbell. Shoving his lightly trembling hands into his jeans pockets, he waited. Nothing happened. He pulled one hand out and pressed the bell button again, a little longer this time. Still nothing.

“Damnit,” Billy mumbled and left the front door to move around the house. The bedroom had a window towards the backside, so maybe he could peek inside that one. At least he would know if Dominic was still sleeping. He was lucky. The curtains were open, so Billy rushed over to it and glanced into the room. He felt his heart sink as he found the bed empty. It didn’t even look like someone had slept in it which worried Billy more than the fact that Dominic was not there. Could it be that he was at Elijah’s place? But why was his car still here? Did he walk there? No, that would be a little too far. Did they drive in Elijah’s car? Most of the time they would use Dominic’s when they were going somewhere. But that was the other possibility. If Dominic wasn’t here, he must be at Elijah’s place. Billy would check, and if they weren’t there…then what? Worry about that when you’re there, Billy told himself and went back to the front of the house. His eyes fell on the door and he briefly contemplated before trying it one more time. He rang the bell again, hoping that maybe this time he would get a sign of life. Nothing. 

Sighing and running a hand through his hair, Billy grabbed the door handle and pushed it down. He didn’t really expect anything to happen, so he was all the more surprised as the door actually opened. What the bloody hell was going on here? Why hadn’t Dominic locked his house? He obviously wasn’t at home. Was he? Pushed forward by his increasing concern, Billy stepped into the house and closed the door behind himself. It was dark and rather cold inside, so he switched on the light and moved further into the living-room.

“Dom?” he asked, at first in a quiet voice, like he actually thought Dominic might be in the very same room. Clearing his dry throat, Billy raised his voice. “Dom? Are you home?”

What was that smell that slowly began to creep into his nose? It was a mixture of various strong scents. Billy was pretty sure he smelled whiskey among them. He would recognize that odor anywhere. This and the coldness of the house made shivers run down Billy’s spine and he slowly walked into the kitchen. The smell became stronger and he switched on the light.

“What the bloody hell…,” Billy mumbled as his eyes fell on the table. Several empty bottles of beer and whiskey stood there, some were lying sideways and a few even lay shattered on the floor. Small puddles of fluid had gathered around the glass pieces.

His heart began to race and Billy turned around again.

“Dom?” he shouted this time and headed back into the living-room. Crossing it and looking for any signs of Dominic, Billy moved over to the bathroom door which was open a crack. As he approached that room, the smell of different alcoholic drinks intensified and even Billy, who was used to a lot, felt a stinging feeling in the pit of his stomach. His left hand pushed the door further open. His eyes widened. The room was semi-dark, but he could make out a bare leg on the tiles. Billy almost blindly reached for the switch and turned the light on. What he saw took his breath away and nearly knocked him off his feet. In front of him, Dominic was lying on his back on the bathroom floor, completely motionless and his eyes closed. The fingers of his right hand were loosely wrapped around an almost empty whiskey bottle, a lot of the content that had obviously still been in the bottle had spilled onto the tiles. Several beer bottles lay scattered around him, some were broken, but those who were still whole were empty. Dominic was dressed only in a black muscle shirt and a pair of dark boxers. Billy could see a dark, wet stain at the crotch and he had no doubt about what is was. All this he took in within a few short seconds, his mind and heart racing.

Leaving the doorstep, Billy rushed over to the unmoving body, careful not to step on any of the sharp remains of the broken bottles. He dropped down to his knees and stared into Dominic’s deathly pale face.

“Dom!” he yelled at him and placed his hands on each side of the stubbly face. He forced himself not to assume the worst, not even at the sight of Dominic’s almost ashen cheeks or the dark-rimmed eyes.

“Dom! Can you hear me?” Billy put his hand on the clammy shoulder and shook Dominic frantically. “Bloody shit, Dom!”

He didn’t even think any further as he simply hit Dominic across the cheek in a desperate attempt to wake him up. But it was in vain. The eyelids didn’t even stir. Swallowing down the huge lump in his throat, Billy leaned down to position his ear right over Dominic’s lightly parted lips. He was more than relieved as he felt tiny puffs of breath against his skin, so he knelt up again and took a frantic look around.

“Damnit…,” Billy forced himself away from the motionless body as he tried to think about what to do. Of course. The oldest trick was probably the best. Getting up, he ran into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. He filled it with ice-cold water and hurried back into the bathroom where he splashed the water right into Dominic’s face. Finally something stirred there, even though it was just for a split second. A low groan came from Dominic’s throat, but nothing more, still it was enough for Billy to gain some hope as it was at least another sign of life. He should call an ambulance. This was not a normal getting pissed drunk and wiped out at the end of the day hang-over. But first of all Billy was desperate to wake Dominic up some more. Or at least bring him back to his consciousness. He shoved the bottle that was still in Dominic’s hand further away and cupped his face again.

“Dom, please give me a sign that you can hear me, mate!”

Another groan was what he got as a reply. At least something. Call an ambulance, damnit. What are you waiting for?

“Oh my God…what happened?” Billy asked more to himself. He wouldn’t get an answer anyway. Dominic looked like death itself, it was frightening. The eyelids fluttered a little and Billy leaned further down.

“Dom?”

“Nnnggh…,” it was more than a groan, a sound that could almost be an actual word. Dominic turned his head to the side and took a deep, shuddering breath. It was only one, but it showed that he was slowly coming back to the world of the living.

“Dom? Wake up,” Billy requested once more in a loud voice. “Or do I have to make you wet once more?”

Dominic growled and his eyes opened a crack. They immediately shut again, obviously the light was too cruel or it was simply too much of an effort.

“No way, you daft idiot,” Billy put both his thumbs on Dominic’s closed eyelids and carefully pushed them open again. “You’ve slept long enough. Come on now, keep your bloody eyes open.”

He tried to take another deep breath, but his throat was totally dried out and all Dominic could do was cough and retch. He felt like a huge weight pressed down on him, pushing him on the floor and leaving him paralyzed. He didn’t remember anything, he wasn’t even able to get a single thought into his head. Everything was just numb and foggy. Rolling his head to the other side, he emitted another groan and forced himself to keep his eyes open. Some invisible force dragged on his lids. After a few more attempts, Dominic finally managed to look up for a few seconds. His vision was blurry and his head felt like it would explode any minute. Someone was beside him, but he couldn’t see who it was. His throat muscles seemed to work again, but it took him a few more moments until he could form any words.

“Am I dead?” he croaked and closed his eyes again as another coughing fit seized him.

“Certainly not,” Billy replied in a grumpy voice, though deep inside he was cheering that Dominic was at least capable of saying something. “What’s gotten into you, huh? Come on, get up. No arguing. And if you have to throw up, please not on me.”

And with that, Billy just took Dominic’s right hand in his and pulled on it, determined not to give Dominic another chance to close his eyes or even pass out again. Billy had seen a lot of drunken nights, a lot of smashed and wiped out people, especially when whiskey was involved. But he had never seen anyone as wrecked as Dominic was now. Not even back in Scotland. He ignored Dominic’s moans of protest and pulled him into an upright position.

“Here we go…,” Billy helped Dominic to put his arm around his shoulder and wrapped his own arm around Dominic’s upper body. “We’re standing up now, okay?”

Dominic nodded lightly, but kept his eyes closed. If he opened them, that would probably increase his dizziness and he wouldn’t make it very far, not even with Billy’s help. But together they very slowly made it off the floor. Dominic was leaning heavily on his friend and grunted with effort and sickness. It was like his body didn’t even belong to him anymore, he had completely lost control over it. Billy dragged him into the living-room and briefly thought about where to put him down. The couch? The bed? No, Dominic would immediately fall asleep again.

“You’re coming with me,” he declared and, keeping a tight hold around Dominic’s upper body, pulled him into the kitchen, minding the partly broken bottles on the floor. With his free hand he opened the fridge and was relieved when he found some healthy beverages in there.

“Can you stand on your own? Here, lean against the counter.”

Dominic did as he was told and managed to remain standing. His eyes were open now, though shifted to the floor. His gaze was unfocused and empty. Billy got another glass from the cupboard and filled it with orange juice.

“Here,” he said as he held it in front of Dominic’s lips. “You need some vitamins.”

His hand shaking like crazy as he lifted it, Dominic grabbed the glass and if Billy hadn’t held on to it, the fluid sure would have spilled all over Dominic’s sweat-soaked shirt. He took a gulp and paused for a moment when the juice settled in his stomach.

“No throwing up?” Billy asked and still helped Dominic to hold the glass to his mouth.

“Nothing inside to throw up,” Dominic murmured in a strange tone. Low, husky, soar and scratchy. It didn’t even sound like the voice was his. After another couple of careful gulps, Billy put the glass on the counter and looked directly at Dominic who just kept on staring at the floor. Did he study the glass pieces? Probably still struggling to collect his mind. Billy stepped in front of him.

“What happened, Dom?” he asked straight away. “Why did you ale yourself up almost to death? Where’s Elijah? Did he talk to you?”

By the mention of Elijah’s name, something flickered in Dominic’s dead eyes. Something that was usually there when Dominic talked about Elijah. A special glow that filled him with bliss and happiness. But it soon vanished again, like someone stubbed it out violently.

“He’s gone…,” Dominic croaked blankly. His body swayed a little from one side to the other, but he didn’t even seem to notice.

“What?” Billy frowned. “What do you mean, he’s gone?”

For the first time in what appeared like minutes, Dominic blinked and then he looked up. As he looked directly at Billy, the older man noticed just how red and sore those lifeless eyes were. The gaze gave Billy the chills. It was like all the life had drained out Dominic, leaving only an empty shell.

“He’s gone,” he repeated. “He left me…he’s gone…that wanker made him break up…”

“What!?” Billy gasped, seriously doubting that he had heard right. Elijah breaking up with Dominic? Practically overnight? Billy had never seen two people who were as much in love as these two were. It could just be some huge misunderstanding.

“He left me…,” Dominic said again. It sounded final and definite. A cruel, brutal fact.

“How can he just break up with you like that?” Billy clutched at his forehead, trying to sort the whirling thoughts in his head. Sure, Elijah had acted weird these past two weeks, but that had started from one day to the next. Like something had suddenly happened.

Dominic took another small gulp from the juice. The cold liquid felt good in his throat. “Astin…the bloody wanker…he…screwed with his head…and now…Lijah thinks…he has to leave me…he thinks it’s better for our careers and shit…I don’t give a bloody fuck about my career anymore, Bills. Astin doesn’t give a shit either. He just thinks that I…that I’m bad for Elijah…sodding prudish bastard…Lijah wants me to be with some woman…to be properly straight…”

His voice was utterly toneless and blank. No anger, no frustration, no despair. Just numbness.

What the bloody hell, Sean knew everything? That must explain his behavior earlier. Like he couldn’t be happier. He must have known that Elijah broke up with Dominic. He was satisfied. How awful could a person be?

“Dom…,” Billy placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. He wanted to pull Dominic into a hug, but he wasn’t quite sure if he would let him. “Do you know where Elijah is right now?”

It took Dominic a few seconds until he registered the words. His mind didn’t function well at the moment. He shook his head. Billy hoped he didn’t look too crushed.

“When he shows up again, talk to him. This is ridiculous. He loves you too much to stay away from you for long. I can’t believe Sean stuck his nose into this, it’s none of his business!”

Something new flickered in Dominic’s eyes. An emotion, an actual emotion. Anger.

“I swear to you, Billy…Sean will regret this…”

Billy didn’t doubt one bit that Dominic was dead serious. His long fingers clenched around the glass he still held in his hand and his eyes narrowed, making him look even grimmer.

“Dom…you should sober up first and then we’ll think of something,” Billy gave his shoulder another squeeze. It felt tense and heated. “I’ll tell Pete that you’re ill, okay?”

Dominic didn’t respond. He just stared ahead, an expression of piercing coldness in his eyes.

Encircling Dominic’s waist with his arm, Billy helped him into the bedroom slowly. “You may want to get changed first. You peed into your boxers,” he said and Dominic pushed the wet fabric down his legs as they stood in front of his bed. Without saying another word he slipped into his grey sweatpants, but kept his muscle shirt on. Then he sat down on the bed.

“You’re a good mate, Bills,” he stated and looked up at Billy who smiled a small smile. “Sorry I got you into trouble…I seem to be good at that…” He remembered the drunken night out in town and how Elijah and he had released themselves in the bucket fountain. Yeah, he was really good at pulling his friends into the shit.

“No problem,” Billy said and rubbed his shoulder soothingly before sitting down next to him. “Pete will understand.”

“I never should have come here,” Dominic suddenly said, leaving Billy confused. “I never should have gotten this role…this is just a load of bollocks…I should just quit…”

“Hey, don’t go there,” Billy urged him in a determined tone. “You’re pissed and you’re tired. Sleep for a few hours, that will make you feel better.”

“No…,” Dominic’s hands gripped the edge of the mattress as he stared down at the carpet. “I don’t wanna be here anymore. It doesn’t mean a bloody thing to me. Nothing does anymore.” He ripped his gaze away from the spot on the floor and looked at Billy. “It doesn’t mean anything without Lijah…”

He closed his eyes. Tears were burning behind the lids and his lips quivered. He felt Billy pull him into a tight embrace, so he just let himself go. Dominic sniffed and Billy tightened his hold. They were sitting like this on the bed for a few minutes, without saying another word. Dominic tried to draw comfort from the hug, but it was in vain. He needed to sober up, he was feeling bloody awful. And then he would have a talk with Sean. A particular sort of talk…

“We’ll fix this, Dom,” Billy reassured him and stroked his back. “You’ll see. Elijah can’t stay away from you for good. He’s crazy about you and you’re crazy about him. He’s just scared.”

Dominic pulled away. Rubbing his eyes which felt sore and scratchy, he pulled the blanket back and lay down. Shut out everything around you. Everything. That was the best option right now.

“I’ll lock the door from the outside and come back later, okay?” Billy got up from the mattress and moved towards the bedroom door. He took a last glance back. “And I’ll help you clean up.”

Dominic closed his eyes and sighed quietly. All he wanted to do was sleep. Sleep and forget about everything else. Put his mind to rest and give it some peace. Within a few minutes he was knocked out again, but this time not from too much alcohol. His exhausted body fell asleep.

Billy left the house, locked the front door and shoved the key into his pocket. He leaned back against the door for a moment and contemplated. He knew he shouldn’t interfere and he certainly shouldn’t confront Sean yet. Not on his own, but he was feeling such a fury inside. The drizzle had stopped and he got into his car to drive back on set.

It was almost seven when Billy arrived at the feet trailer. He had called Pete from the car to inform him and thank God the director hadn’t thrown a tantrum. Billy took a look around the busy location, people were rushing, preparing and shouting. Still everyone did their work with an incomparable love and passion.

“Billy!” He turned around as he heard the familiar voice call his name. Liv came up to him, her Elvin look now fully finished. She looked stunning, as usual. “Did you find Dom?”

“Yes. He’s ill and at home. I told Pete.”

“Oh,” Liv sighed and brushed a strain of her dark wig out of her face. “Well, Elijah is here now. He just got ready.”

“He is?” Billy’s eyes widened at the news. “Where is he?”

Liv pointed into the direction of the studio door. “He’s…I don’t know, acting strangely,” she said and folded her arms. She was clearly worried. “It’s like he’s not even here. Did anything happen? I might have missed something while I wasn’t here.”

Billy looked from the studio building back at her. Inside he was struggling with himself. Sean knew. It wasn’t fair. He knew and interfered and managed to pull Elijah away from Dominic. He didn’t deserve to know. Their relationship was special and unique. Billy had often simply watched them, saw how they treated each other, talked to each other, looked at each other. They belonged together, no matter what one sodding co-star might say. Liv cared. She would understand. She would support them and she would help. Billy briefly checked if someone could be eavesdropping on them, but that wasn’t the case.

“Dom and Elijah are together,” he said straight-forward.

Liv blinked a few times and looked a little dumbstruck, but then a hesitant smile on her lips. “You mean…as in, together together?”

“Yes,” Billy murmured quietly.

“Oh my God, that’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Liv smiled brightly now, but kept her naturally quiet voice even further down. “How long?”

“A few months,“ Billy told her and sighed heavily. “Sean Astin found out and well, he thinks it’s not good for their careers if the media finds out. He somehow managed to talk Elijah into leaving Dom and Dom is devastated.”

Liv nodded and looked at the studio door. “That explains a lot, I guess. Elijah didn’t even say hi when I saw him earlier, he just walked past me like he was a million miles away.”

“He made a huge mistake,” Billy said grimly. “Dom got pissed drunk last night. I found him wiped out on his bathroom floor. He’s now asleep and sobering up. I just can’t stand aside and watch how they ruin themselves, you know.”

“Well, homosexuals in Hollywood do have a lot of problems,” Liv said pensively. “That’s why it’s probably better if they don’t tell anyone or just people they can trust. Damn, this is a difficult situation.”

“It is,” Billy said and crossed his arms. He looked at the wet ground and bit his bottom lip. He couldn’t give up on them. He just couldn’t. They needed time. Dominic needed to get the alcohol out of him and Elijah needed to get back to his senses. He looked up again.

“We need to protect them,” he stated decisively. It would be hard, but they could make it. “If we all stand behind them and support them, then chances are bigger that no one else will find out. No the press, not the fans. No one.”

“You mean, we should tell the others?” Liv raised her eyebrows and looked unsure. “I don’t know, Billy. There’s always someone who might not be able to keep his mouth shut.”

“It’s not up to us. It’s up to Dom and Elijah. Once they sorted their problems out.”

Liv nodded and turned her head as Fran called for her. “Sorry, I gotta go. Maybe you can try to talk to Elijah. I won’t tell anyone, promise. Wow, I still can’t quit believe it,” she smiled. “I’ll help wherever I can of course.”

Billy smiled back. “Thank you, Liv.”

Inside the studio the crew was even busier than outside. Billy spotted Sean in costume who luckily was not talking to Elijah but his wife. Surveying the big hall, Billy was relieved when he spotted Elijah sitting on a bench on the far side. He moved over to him, struggling to suppress the anger he felt.

“Hey Lij,” he said and sat down next to his friend. Elijah was staring blankly ahead, like he had not even heard him. He was in Frodo gear and his script papers were lying next to him on the bench.

“Elijah?” Billy frowned and scooted a little closer, but Elijah didn’t move an inch. He looked like he was in trance, completely oblivious to the outside world. Billy’s anger turned into concern instantly. “Lij? Can I talk to you?”

Finally something. A brief blink and a shuddering sigh. Elijah cast his eyes down at the floor.

“Elijah…,” Billy tried again, more gently this time. “I know what happened. I know what Sean did and I’m so sad that he succeeded. Lij, please…go back to Dom…you’re both wrecks…you love him, don’t let anyone destroy that. Talk to him.”

Elijah shuddered and sighed again. His eyes closed and a few tears appeared in the corners of them. It took him a few moments until he could utter something. It sounded strained and hopeless.

“Dom…,” he whimpered and covered his eyes with his hands. Billy’s heart broke at the sight. Elijah was just as crushed as Dominic was, but while Dominic had numbed the pain with alcohol, Elijah’s mind had shut down on its own.

“Come here…,” Billy wrapped his arms around Elijah’s shoulder and, after some gentle urging, he stood up with him and let him lean against his body. They slowly left the studio and Billy tried his best to shield him from curious eyes. Crossing the area in front of the building, Billy led Elijah over to the feet trailer, his hand rubbing Elijah’s side comfortingly the whole time. Elijah’s face was still buried in his hands as he began to sniff quietly. How much had he cried during the last two days? He was such a fucking baby. No…just missing the person who meant the world to him.

When they were inside the empty trailer, Billy closed the door and locked it. He pressed the sniffing younger man against his chest and simply held him close, allowing him to finally face his feelings and let it all out. Elijah reached around and grasped at the back of Billy’s shirt with one hand, like he was holding on to something that would assure his survival. How he had managed to get through the last days was beyond him. He couldn’t remember anything after the moment he had left Dominic’s house. Everything was a foggy mess that got thicker and thicker every minute. He missed Dominic with every inch of his being and even though he knew he didn’t deserve it, he hoped Dominic could forgive him one day. Forgive him for hurting him so bad.

“Everything’s gonna be alright, Lij,” he heard Billy mumble into his ear. “You love each other so much, you’ll make it…”

We’ll make it. We’ll make it, Lijah. Dominic’s words that he had said so many times. You’ve believed him, you’ve always believed him. Why not anymore? Fuck Sean, fuck the media, fuck the world. It’s Dom who counts. But…no buts. No fucking buts and no more pain. He’s hurting and you’re hurting. You can end this.

“I love you, Dommie…,” Elijah sobbed into Billy’s shirt and tightened his hold on him. 

Billy held on to him, relieved that Elijah showed his real emotions. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and Billy would do everything to shove both Dominic and Elijah towards it.

“He loves you, too,” he said in Dominic’s place. “He loves you, too.”


	23. Chapter 23

“That would be lovely. I love you, too. See you,” Sean hung up the phone, but looked at the display for a while, like his mere gape might make it ring again. He had just finished another day of filming in the studio and called Christine, as he always did when she wasn’t on set with him. She was there often with Alexandra, simply because Sean loved having them around when he was working. Their presence kept him calm and relaxed. He wished they had been there today. 

He didn’t know what was wrong with Elijah, but it desperately needed to be sorted out. The boy had been rather unfocused and unprofessional lately. He had ended this fling with Dominic. Sean had felt relieved, when he had asked, and Elijah had only nodded but not said another word. He had just gone back into his own trance-like world. Dominic had been sick since yesterday. Fever and a sore throat, as Billy had said. And Elijah hadn’t asked any more questions, he had just been sitting there with a stony expression. That was probably a good sign. He was trying to get over it, or he was at least in the process.

Sean shoved his phone into his pocket and went over to the parking lot. The sun was setting after a warm and dry day. It was his birthday in three days time, but every time he thought about it, something inside his stomach cringed. He still couldn’t believe that Elijah had lied to him like that. Pretending to organize something for his birthday, when in reality he had been with Dominic, doing God knows what. What a pitiful excuse. Thanks for the trust, Elijah. But Sean didn’t want to mull over that anymore right now. His wife was waiting at home with their beautiful little daughter and he was looking forward to a nice, relaxed evening.

Despite his attempt to forget about it for the rest of the day, Sean’s mind involuntarily recalled Elijah’s face. How he wished that Elijah could have what he had one day. A happy life, a marriage with a lovely woman and his own little kid. Instead, what was waiting for him was a life full of secrets, excuses and lies. No public demonstration of affection, not even the simple act of holding hands. Sean couldn’t imagine having a life like that. But it wasn’t Elijah’s fault. Nobody chooses their sexuality. But if you were in the entertainment industry, you needed to be alert, careful and willing to make a lot of sacrifices. And Sean doubted that Elijah was ready for that yet. Not now, not when he was so young and starring in such a big movie. Sean just hoped Elijah would allow him to help him later, when all this was over. Help and support, that’s what he would need most of all.

Reaching into his other jeans pocket, Sean pulled his car keys out as he arrived at his vehicle. He fumbled with the bunch, but something distracted him and he stopped. The sound of footsteps behind him that gradually became louder and louder. They weren’t quick, yet something about them made Sean frown and feel lightly uncomfortable. He suddenly felt like someone directly out of a bad horror movie, a defenseless girl that walks through a dark alley and gets followed by a mysterious figure. A shiver ran down his spine and he turned around, but he didn’t know if he should feel relieved or scared about what he saw. Dominic was coming towards him, no creepy stranger. A pair of dark sunglasses covered his eyes and everything about him looked rather normal. Like any other person that was out and about on a summer day. He seemed to have recovered, but when he took off his shades, Sean involuntarily took a step backwards. The look in Dominic’s eyes was as cold as ice. What did you expect, Sean asked himself as Dominic came closer. The break-up, the illness – he had been ill, right? – the recovery. No wonder he was not in the best mood. Sean opened his mouth and tried to get something out.

“Hi, Dom. Feeling better?”

Dominic was only a few feet away now and his sunglasses disappeared in his pocket. Good to catch you all alone, he thought in triumph. His brimming fury had taken control over him the moment he had observed Sean leave the feet trailer and walk to the parking lot. His entire body was itching, especially his right hand which he formed to a fist as he came to stand directly in front of the other man.

“Why yes, I am,” Dominic replied in the most sarcastic, cynical and sardonic tone he could produce. “Thanks for asking, wanker!”

And with that he raised his fist and smashed it right into Sean’s face. The blow was so hard and, above all, so unexpected that it didn’t only knock Sean backwards against the side of his car, but also split open his upper lip. Blood streamed down from the corner of his mouth and he couldn’t even scream as his hand flew up to his wound and covered it. But Dominic didn’t give him any time to recover from the shock. He grabbed him by the collar and pushed him roughly up against the car. This time Sean was able to emit a strained yell as Dominic held him in a painful grip. Sean’s fingers grasped at the wrists, but as much as he struggled, he couldn’t get Dominic to release his hold. The younger guy was much stronger than he was and the pain from the blow made him feel dizzy.

He’s going to kill me. Fuck, he’s going to kill me. Sean didn’t want to look into those furious grey-blue eyes, but he had no choice. His shocked mind refused to obey him and Dominic leaned in so close that Sean could feel his breath on his face.

“Listen, you sodding bastard,” Dominic hissed in a quiet, ice-cold and enraged voice. “I know you put some bollocks into Elijah’s head so that he leaves me. Guess what, he did. Congratulations! Unfortunately I can’t tell you to stay away from him, but I’m telling you this. Next time, keep your fucking nose out of stuff that’s none of your bloody business. Got it, arsehole?”

At the last word, Dominic shoved the trapped man even more forcefully up against the vehicle, his grip on the collar still strong. Sean struggled to say something, but he was still choked with shock and even fear. He didn’t know what Dominic might do to him in his beyond furious state.

“And I’m telling you something else. Elijah is gay and he’ll always be gay, no matter how much you hate it. So, you better get used to that fact, you prick.”

“Dom…,” Sean finally managed to croak and he had to cough violently before he could get any more words out. “Please…let me go…you’re strangling me…”

He didn’t really expect he would, but Dominic did indeed loosen his hold and then removed his hands, allowing Sean to catch his breath and get some air into his lungs.

“I don’t hate that Elijah is gay,” he panted and looked into Dominic’s glaring eyes. “And I didn’t mean to harm you, really. But you know this is madness. You guys can’t just do your thing and not think about the consequences. Elijah is too young to really get it and you don’t know Hollywood.”

Dominic had to force himself not to punch Sean again. In fact, it required all his self-control for him to use his mouth instead of his fists. “Stop treating him like a baby! I’ve seen that since the very first day. He’s grown up, accept it already! And yes, we did think about the possible consequences, why do you think we decided to keep it secret, smartarse, huh? Because wankers like you make it hard enough for us! You have no sodding idea what we’ve been through. How much we had to fight for what we had! And I swear to you, if there’s even the slightest chance to get Elijah back, I’ll take it!”

“You won’t,” Sean hissed back bravely, losing his initial fear. “He did the right thing, don’t ruin it again.”

His throat suddenly constricted as Dominic grabbed his collar roughly once more and pushed him violently against the hard metal of the car. If he hadn’t left any bruises there yet, there certainly would be some now.

“Who do you fucking think you are?” He growled furiously. “You’re so sick! Bloody hell, if I could I would kick the shit out you right now. But you know, I wouldn’t do anything that might jeopardize the movies,” he added in a sarcastic tone, using Sean’s logic against him. “I hope you realize what damage you’ve done. Don’t think Elijah wants to be friends with someone like you any longer. You’ve screwed up his friendship and if the others knew what you did, they’d dump your sorry arse without thinking twice about it!”

Sean tried to take a breath, but it was hard. Dominic was not only clutching his collar, but his clenched fists pressed into his throat as well. Wasn’t anyone around who was witnessing the scene?

“How do you know how things are between Elijah and me?” Sean managed to gasp in between sharp intakes of breath. “You haven’t even seen him since he broke up with you.”

“Because I know him, wanker,” Dominic glared, hating how Sean once again claimed to know better. “I know him like you’ll never know him. And that’s why I know that the Elijah who dumped me is not the real one. It’s someone your sick head created. You used his insecurities and mindfucked him until he broke down. You’re a pathetic, egoistical, whiny bastard, Sean. You whine when you don’t get Elijah’s attention, you whine when you don’t get Peter’s attention, you whine when you don’t get Ian’s attention, you whine when things don’t go your way, whine whine whine. Well, tell you what, get your bloody shit together!”

You fucking asshole, Sean thought, but didn’t dare to say it out loud. “What do you know about the movie biz?” he said instead. “You may not have the appropriate amount of passion and dedication for this, but I do. I love being here and giving everything I have, but all you and Billy do is pull your jokes and act like this is some comedy movie. At least leave Elijah out of this. He needs to concentrate and focus, and not get into a risky relationship with Mr. Entertainer.”

Dominic didn’t know if he should just laugh about that or smash his fist into Sean’s face again. Did Sean even realize how ridiculous he sounded? 

“Well, I have some news for you, Sean,” he hissed, struggling very much not to lose the last amount of self-control. “This is not your movie, it’s Peter’s. You’re not the director. And Elijah is not your son, believe it or not. And what he doesn’t need is your fucking constant nagging, whining and telling him what’s best for him. Billy and I are not the problem here. It’s you and that stick up your arse. _That’s_ what Elijah doesn’t need. But unlike you, I don’t force him to do whatever I think is best for him. I allow him to make his own choices. If he doesn’t want to be with me because it’s his own conviction that he doesn’t want to be with me, fine. But I know it’s not. I know the real Elijah and the way he is right now is not him. So, I’ll do whatever I can to bring him back. And I don’t give a shit if you like it or not. Got it?”

Sean didn’t respond. He simply glared at the furious guy who was still holding him in a tight grip. If Dominic thought he could get Elijah back, then Sean would have to have another talk with Elijah. Though that would be totally unnecessary. Elijah wouldn’t go back. Would he? Geez, first of all, Sean needed to get out of this humiliating situation.

“Fine,” he mumbled and Dominic relaxed his grasp. Rubbing his sore neck, Sean gasped some air into his lungs. Being able to breathe properly felt damn good. “Do what you want. Just don’t expect me to support you ever again. All I wanted was to help you. Thanks for the gratitude.”

Dominic snorted and shook his head. What a pathetic excuse of a miserable explanation. “Oh, thank you very much for destroying something that’s none of your sodding business. Maybe you’re a closeted gay as well and just jealous because Elijah fell in love with me, huh?”

Sean looked like he was struggling not to lunge at Dominic. He would be at a disadvantage anyway, so he just straightened up as well as possible, trying to regain some of his dignity. “I’m just the only one who sees the reality here. It’s bad enough that Elijah can’t marry a woman one day and have kids. He should just wait with his secret affairs until the movie is finished and in the theatres. It’s just not fair towards Peter and everyone involved. Why can’t you understand that?”

If the situation wasn’t so serious and sad, Dominic would have laughed out loud for sure. He was more than fed up by now. Sean didn’t make any sense at all to him, and he wondered if this was the same bullshit he had told Elijah. The same stupid bollocks that Elijah had taken seriously and that had made him break up their relationship. No, that was definitely not his Elijah. That one was hidden underneath a bunch of insecurities once again. Gratitude my arse, Astin.

“Well, if you keep your mouth shut, then no one else will find out, so don’t worry,” he glared at Sean. “And I know what bullshit you told Elijah. I’m bi, so I am so lucky and can have a proper wife and a career. Thank you very much for worrying about me, Seanie, I just don’t buy it, sorry. You don’t give a shit about me. It’s only about poor, corrupted Elijah, right? I know what I want and that’s being with him and only him. I don’t even expect you to ever understand that. I don’t even wanna talk about this with you any longer. I just expect you to leave us the fuck alone.”

Sean felt his back press against the side of the car and realized that he did that himself. He wanted to get away from here, as far away from Dominic as possible. “Fine…whatever…,” he uttered and knelt down to pick up his keys which he had dropped earlier when Dominic had punched him.

This disrespectful reaction irritated Dominic so much that he rapidly lost control over himself and his already boiling fury increased. What an arrogant, false wanker. Just as Sean stood up again and was about to turn to his car door, Dominic clenched his fist and rammed it into Sean’s face once more, toppling him to the ground. Sean cried out and clutched at his now intensely bleeding lip. The pain in his head was horrible.

“That should teach you to stay out of other people’s relationships, bastard,” Dominic spit the words out and turned around, leaving the scene before his fist slipped again. His hand hurt lightly from the punches, but he was barely aware of it. He just moved away, not turning back once. Billy would kill him if he learnt what just happened, but right now Dominic couldn’t care less. He had to pay someone else a visit.

 

~**~

 

It was amazing how much a person’s appearance could change in a few short years. 18-year-old Dominic looked like an utter baby version of his 23-year-old self of today. At least to Elijah. The cheekiness had always been there, as well as the adorably shaped nose and ears that Dominic himself could not stand. Elijah, however, found them unique and endearing. But all in all, 18-year-old Dominic looked like the very example of a mischievous yet cute teenage student whose cheek you just wanted to pinch. Now he was the very example of a desirable, well-built and trained young man. Also his acting style had changed a lot since the beginning. Elijah could tell that Dominic had become more comfortable with himself and his acting in Lord of the Rings seemed to require less of an effort. He still had a lot of potential and Elijah was convinced that Dominic would get a bunch of possibilities after this movie. And he would get better and better.

All these thoughts whirled through Elijah’s head as he was crouching in front of his TV, a dried trace of tears on his cheeks. He had been ecstatic when Dominic had gotten him the pack of discs for his birthday. He had wanted to see some of the few earlier works of him so bad, so when he had opened the package, he had squeed like mad. The British mid-90s series Hetty Wainthropp Investigates had brought Dominic’s name out to a broader audience for the first time. Merely in England, but that was not bad for someone this young. Dominic felt quite embarrassed about his role in it, and Elijah had expected the show to be rather lame and bad. But now after watching some of the first episode, he found it actually charming and funny. Above all, it allowed him a peek at the earlier life of his love. The love that Elijah had thrown away so painfully.

What the fuck had he been thinking? Reaching out, his fingers touched the screen of the TV, right where 18-year-old Dominic had just appeared. Every time that wonderful face came into sight, Elijah swore he felt a pain. Right where something essential was missing. Served him right. No pity for the one who caused the pain himself. He would live with it. He didn’t deserve anything else. What he could not live with was the knowledge that he had hurt Dominic in an unforgivable way. That would haunt him forever.

Elijah turned the TV off. The sudden silence hit him like a hammer and he took a shuddering breath. He had never thought it was possible to miss someone so much.

A noise. The doorbell. His heart jumped. Could it be…no. Forget it. If it’s him, he’s probably only here to kick your ass, just as you deserve it. You don’t have a right to be forgiven, you fucking bastard.

With an effort, Elijah got up from the carpet and quickly wiped at his eyes. They were dry, but he could feel the trails his tears had left earlier. The door seemed to be incredibly far away. His shaking hand pushed the handle down.

“Hello, Elijah.” Liv smiled, but it looked like she wasn’t quite sure if that was the right thing to do. “May I come in?”

Elijah was half relieved and half disappointed. He didn’t know what he would have done if Dominic was standing on his doorstep in this very moment, but that would probably not happen anyway. What could Dominic possibly still want from him? It was better for him to just stay away. Get together with someone grown up and mature. Someone who could truly make him happy and not hurt him like a fucking coward. Yeah. Probably.

“Sure,” Elijah simply said and Liv stepped into his living-room. He hadn’t cleaned up yet. Not enough energy. But he knew she wouldn’t mind.

“Thanks,” Liv was still smiling, but it vanished when Elijah closed the door and turned to her. “I don’t mean to disturb you for long, I just wanted to tell you something, okay?”

Elijah looked pitiful, but she tried not to show how much it affected her. She took a deep breath and briefly looked down at her hands before she continued.

“I can imagine you maybe don’t wanna talk about it and you don’t have to. But I want you to know that Billy told me about you and Dom and I’m so sorry it came to this. Really…I…”

Liv stopped as Elijah raised his hands to his face and covered his eyes. First she thought he was crying, but he wasn’t. He was just standing there, his face buried in his hands, looking like he tried to shut everything out. Liv wondered if she should go over to him or if that would do more damage than good. She didn’t want to come across as too pushy.

“I don’t even know what I would do if I were in your position. And I don’t want to start to ramble about Hollywood, you know how they are. I also don’t want to force you to do something you’re not sure of. But if you need someone to talk to, a female point of view or just a listener, I’m here, okay?”

Elijah still didn’t look up. Liv gave him the time to think about her words, to get over the first shock of her knowing and maybe find something to say.

He wasn’t scared because she knew everything. Elijah was very fond of Liv and even though they hadn’t spent much time together yet, apart from the early days after principal photography had started back in October, he was sure he could trust her. She was a warm-hearted and understanding woman with a calming, soothing aura. She was the only female in the main cast so far, but wouldn’t stay in New Zealand permanently. She would be here and she would be off again and whenever she was in the country, she would make the boys behave differently. More civilized. And even now she managed to have a calming effect on Elijah.

Slowly his hands slid off his face, revealing tired yet grateful eyes. “You don’t mind?”

The smile came back to Liv’s face and she took a few steps towards him. He didn’t move away. “Someone else minds, right?”

“Sometimes it feels like the whole world is against us,” Elijah sighed. “Except you and Billy. And well, my mom and my sister.”

“Billy said maybe you should tell the rest of them,” Liv came to stand in front of him. “It’s up to you of course, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Tell them what?” Elijah asked blankly and rubbed his sore eyes. “It’s all over anyway…fuck…I’ve made the worst mistake of my life…”

Placing her hand on his shoulder, Liv didn’t quite know what to say. She wanted to give Elijah some good advice, but she couldn’t put herself into his situation. She knew the business. She knew how merciless it could be, but she also knew a lot of homosexual actors who were happy living in the closet. All she could do was give Elijah the best support, whatever his decision may be.

“Whatever you do,” Liv said in her usual soft voice, “do it for yourself. It’s your life. You’re a human being first of all, not a Hollywood puppet.”

Elijah stared ahead at some spot on the wall as his thoughts were racing. He hated himself for letting Sean fuck with his head like that. He had fucked up everything Dominic and he had built up and even if they managed to build it back up, then what? Billy and Liv were loyal, Sean was not. What about the others?

We can worry about that when the time comes, Dominic would have said. We can worry about it together. Just give us the chance.

Elijah’s eyes left the spot on the wall and shifted down to the now black TV screen. What would 18-year-old Dominic have done? Had he been as insecure as Elijah at that age? He couldn’t imagine that. Dominic was everything Elijah wanted to be one day. And there was still so much he wanted to know about Dominic, everything in fact. He wanted to spend every second of every minute of every day with this man. This unique, indescribable man who had captured his heart and not let it go ever since. The past days had been hell and Elijah never wanted to experience that again. Their short time apart had made him realize just how much he needed Dominic. It was frightening in a way, but Elijah was not able to go on without him by his side. How did he fall in love like this? So deeply and irrevocably? It didn’t matter. He only knew he count himself incredibly lucky to have found someone like Dominic.

“Why did I let him go…,” Elijah murmured, wondering how he could have been so stupid, blind and easy to manipulate. Liv put her hand on his back and it didn’t take long until he found himself in her embrace. She simply stood with him in the middle of the room, allowing him a moment of comfort.

“You know, all of you guys are special,” Liv said calmly after a while. “Each and every one of you. I think love is a gift and if you found it with each other, then don’t throw it away. That’s all I can tell you.”

Love as a gift from their fate. Dominic believed that fate brought them all together and that possibly they had met before and were reincarnated to reunite in New Zealand. Elijah now thought that was truer than anything else. He was fighting his destiny, but it was a fight he could only lose.

“Thank you, Liv,” he looked up at her face and even managed a small smile. 

“Anytime,” Liv smiled back. It was time for her to go, still she felt reluctant to leave Elijah alone like this. But he needed time to figure out what he really wanted and that was something only he could do. Liv gave him a last smile as she opened the door. It was already dark outside.

“See you happy and fresh tomorrow morning, I hope.”

“I hope so too,” Elijah said and he really meant it. Then Liv was gone.

For the second time that day, the sudden silence hit Elijah hard and painfully. It wasn’t so much the silence, but the feeling of utter loneliness. Running a hand through his shaggy hair, Elijah stared at the telephone on the coffee table. Should he call or better go over to Dominic’s place? Dominic wouldn’t want to see him for sure. Elijah didn’t blame him. He was lucky if Dominic spoke to him ever again.

He slowly moved over to the phone, his hands sweaty and shaking. Just one call away. If Dominic hung up on him, Elijah would at least have heard his voice. In the very moment he reached down, the doorbell rang, making Elijah jump at the unexpected sound. He looked around. Had Liv forgotten anything?

Without thinking any further, Elijah opened the door. His heart skipped a beat and then began to race while his trembling legs stumbled backwards and his hand clasped over his mouth. Dominic stepped into the house, not even waiting for an invitation. He slammed the door shut behind himself, his eyes never leaving Elijah’s. He had repeated the words he needed to say to Elijah over and over again in his head and he was determined to get them out right here and now. And Elijah wouldn’t interrupt him. Though judging by his dumbstruck face, he was unable to say anything anyway.

Dominic panted lightly from all the conflicting emotions inside him. Anger, sadness, longing…and love. So much love. He opened his mouth.

“Elijah…I…,” he couldn’t go on any further. The words got stuck in his throat. His expression softened. They were standing a few feet apart and Elijah was still staring at him like he was a ghost. Something between them glimmered, an invisible flame that grew stronger and stronger with every second. From then on everything became a blur. Elijah’s hand dropped from his mouth and Dominic forgot all previously prepared words. They left their spots and rushed towards each other, meeting somewhere in the middle. Dominic caught Elijah in a tight embrace while Elijah flung his arms around Dominic’s neck and crashed his lips against those lips that he had missed so much.

The kiss was so heated and intense that it momentarily knocked the breath out of them. It was all too much and overwhelming.

Elijah was clutching Dominic, as if letting him go would kill him. He buried his fingers in the familiar, soft hair and deepened the kiss, if that was even possible.

Dominic was barely aware how he ripped Elijah’s shirt off his body and how he picked him up and stumbled into the bedroom with him. The small, slender body felt just as he remembered it. How had he survived so long without holding it in his arms? Without those lovely legs around his waist and Elijah’s soft lips against his?

“Lijah…,” he whispered in between fiery kisses and Elijah tightened his hold around his neck.

A fog of passion, longing and relief engulfed them.

Everything else could wait.

 

 

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

No thoughts, no concerns, no regrets, no bad feeling for the time being. Finally another moment when only they existed, nothing and no one else. They could forget about everything. Elijah’s stiff fingers were buried in Dominic’s tangled hair, grasping at the strains and keeping the head there at the same time, his face pressed into the crook of Dominic’s neck and his bent legs locked around rocking hips. Gasps and quiet moans escaped Elijah’s parted lips as Dominic kept thrusting into him, his body clenching around the thick cock that had entered him for the first time in what felt like ages. No words were uttered, not even the random “fuck” or “yeah” noises. The pace Dominic had set remained rather irregular and somewhat rough, but he steadily quickened it until Elijah’s writhing and squirming body received pounding thrusts. Short bitten nails dug into Dominic’s sweat-damp back and he realized how much he had missed simple, familiar details like that. The way Elijah panted and groaned into his ear, the way his hard cock pushed into his stomach as it got trapped between their bodies, the intimate proximity that nothing could top. Dominic held on to Elijah’s smooth thighs tightly as his orgasm began to build up and one hand left the soft skin there to take hold of Elijah’s neglected penis. They both didn’t last long.

All movements stopped after they reached the climax almost simultaneously. Elijah’s arms remained locked tightly around Dominic’s neck and back, holding him even more firmly than he had done during their love-making. Dominic’s now limp cock slipped out of Elijah as his body settled down partly on top of him and partly on the crumpled sheets. The relief he was feeling was intense. His bottled up emotional turmoil was finally able to drain out of him and Elijah was practically enfolding him entirely. This was exactly where he belonged.

Elijah’s face was still buried in Dominic’s neck. The void in his heart and soul was filled again and it was the most wonderful realization. To be able to feel again, breathe again, think again, live again. The missing part was back. The odor of sweat and Dominic’s very own scent filled Elijah’s nose and he felt like crying. God, how he had missed this man. When he opened his eyes a crack, all he could see was Dominic’s tousled hair and his ear. Closeness, warmth, shelter, protection, happiness, love…everything was as strong and beautiful as ever. Elijah’s fingers found a damp strand of Dominic’s hair and stroked it as he thought about what to say. He wanted to say the obvious words, but he doubted that Dominic would believe him. He meant them from the bottom of his heart, but the damage he had done was too bad. Nothing he said or did could mend it. Still it was all he could do in this moment, and maybe Dominic would be able to forgive him. Some day.

“I’m so sorry,” Elijah whispered into the ear that he gazed at through half-open eyes. To himself, the words sounded like a shameful slap in the face. A pathetic attempt to beg for forgiveness that he didn’t deserve.

“I’m so so sorry…,” he closed his eyes again and his voice, even though it was barely audible, sounded tear-stricken. The clutch of his arms around the body on top of him tightened even more, like he was afraid that Dominic would get up any second now and run away. He wouldn’t be able to cope with that, although it would serve him right.

Dominic found himself trapped against Elijah’s warm, damp body, a position he never thought he would be in ever again. Everything had happened so quickly. His ability to think, let alone speak, had been knocked out of him as soon as he had been standing in front of Elijah. Suddenly it had been like they had never been apart, like nothing had happened between them. The fire, the attraction and the indescribable bond, it all had been back immediately. The next thing he knew was that he had been lying on top of his beautiful and naked Elijah, lost in a mind numbing kiss and preparing him for penetration. And now here they were, spent and exhausted physically as well as emotionally in each other’s arms.

Slowly Dominic lifted his head and gazed down at Elijah’s face. Elijah felt his heart break into a sudden race as Dominic pulled his head back, panic seizing him. This was it. The moment when Dominic would get up, get dressed again and leave the house, saying how this had been a big mistake. His arms stiffened and held Dominic’s body close to his chest.

“Lijah…,” Dominic whispered to him, feeling the tight grasp on him and knowing what Elijah was thinking. He put his thumb on the smooth, soft face in front of him, the blue eyes which were now open looking at him and silently pleading with him not to go. The slender finger began a slow, caressing movement on Elijah’s cheek.

“I don’t blame you if you don’t forgive me…,” Elijah sighed and looked up into those warm blue-grey eyes. Dominic’s face was so close, their bodies still pressed against each other, arms and legs intertwined. Their connection was powerful and their intimacy felt wonderful as ever. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, was it? “I fucked everything up…I’m so fucking pathetic…”

“I will never let you go again,” Dominic said quietly yet firmly, interrupting Elijah before he could go on any further. “You hear me? Never ever. Only if you _really_ don’t wanna be with me anymore and no one forces you to leave me.”

Elijah wasn’t sure if he had heard right. How could Dominic still want to be with him? He had shown that he wasn’t mature enough for a serious relationship yet, but Dominic wanted him back after all? What the hell are you thinking, he asked himself. You know you can’t be without him and here he is, in the process of actually forgiving you for your shitty behavior. But…but…

“But I broke your trust,” he argued, like Dominic wasn’t aware of that. “I allowed someone to make me dump you…to hurt you…it’s…fuck…,” Elijah pulled his hand away from Dominic’s hair and covered his eyes with it instead. He turned his face to the side and swallowed hard, struggling to keep his composure.

Dominic didn’t urge him to look at him right away. He studied Elijah’s pale features, his appearance, his expressions, his broken heart. Elijah had suffered just as much as he had, that was for sure. Dominic’s own heart still ached at the memory of Elijah pulling away from him, running out the door, leaving him with nothing but inhuman amounts of alcohol to drown his pain in. Yes, Elijah had hurt him. Terribly. But Dominic couldn’t bring himself to blame it all on Elijah alone. It hadn’t been Elijah’s conviction, it had been mental weakness. Something they needed to work on. Together.

“Elijah…,” he gently said now and cupped Elijah’s hand to remove it from his eyes. Gloomy sad blue eyes blinked up at him and Dominic fought the urge to press his mouth against the soft lips which were quivering lightly.

“You have insecurities, baby. Great insecurities that we have to get rid of. I know it’s hard. It’s all still new to you and it’s not easy for me either. Not because I’m uncertain about us, but because of all the wankers out there. But you know what, I don’t give a bloody shit anymore, to be honest. Being with you is all that matters to me. I know Sean put all this sodding crap into your head and that drove you over the edge. We have to make sure that will never happen again. You…”

Dominic trailed off briefly. He realized that their fingers were interlaced as their hands lay on the pillow now. They fit perfectly.

“You have to be absolutely, one hundred percent sure that you want this, Lij. There’s no…”

“I want this more than anything in the world,” Elijah swiftly uttered. His right hand that had still been on Dominic’s back slid up and came to rest on the shaggy dark-blonde hair. “Fuck Dom…you have no idea…I think I regretted it already the moment I was out the door…it’s been like hell without you. Everything’s just been…empty and senseless…”

He shook his head faintly, more to himself. He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. “You’re fucking everything to me…,” Elijah’s voice dropped to a whisper and the weepy tone was back. Their intertwined fingers loosened their holds around each other and he wrapped his arm tightly around Dominic’s neck. Elijah was on the verge of breaking into tears, so he buried his face in Dominic’s shoulder in a desperate attempt to hold them back. He was sick of crying. He felt himself being gently pulled upright until he was leaning against Dominic’s chest and enfolded in his embrace. A few tears managed to slip out from underneath his eyelids despite them being squeezed shut.

“You’re everything to me too, baby…,” Elijah could hear tears in Dominic’s voice as well and it only made him cling to him more tightly. So much heartache, so much misery and so much despair for nothing. Or rather, for one thing that they should have realized already. That they couldn’t be without each other.

A few minutes passed without another word. They were simply holding one another, Dominic giving strength and reassurance to Elijah and Elijah swearing to himself that he would do anything, absolutely anything, to regain Dominic’s trust and to never fuck it up again. They could be the happy, carefree couple again that they had been in their cottage at Lake Te Anau. Those memories would keep Elijah going if he ever got any doubts again. But he wouldn’t get those. How could he ever have doubts again or even let someone talk him into breaking up this most precious thing in his life?

“I’m so sorry I hurt you,” Elijah murmured eventually and sniffed quietly, breaking the silence. They remained in their locked position, just Dominic’s fingers slowly and gently caressing Elijah’s back. “I’m so fucking sorry…”

“I know, Lijah,” Dominic whispered into his ear, but it didn’t soothe Elijah. Nothing could.

“I’m so sorry,” he said those words over and over again and each time was like another step towards a collapse. More tears streamed down Elijah’s cheeks now and all Dominic could do was hold the slender body against his chest and allow Elijah to let it all out. He knew Elijah was doing the same for him as Dominic’s own face was wet with tears.

“I know, baby…I know…” Over and over again. As much as he was still hurting, Dominic forgave Elijah in this very moment. They needed to focus on the development of their relationship and the future. The mistakes belonged in the past. It was as simple as that and Dominic refused to let it affect him any longer.

The tears became less and less until both Dominic and Elijah were sitting utterly drained against each other, still neither of them wanting to move. Dominic pulled his head away a little, feeling the need to look into Elijah’s face. Not just feel him in his arms, but see him. Knowing that he was back, for good. Elijah looked back at him, still sadly but also lovingly. His wonderfully soft fingers touched Dominic’s cheek and wiped at the wetness that was there.

“We’ll be again like we were in Te Anau, Dom,” Elijah said and the memory actually put a small smile on Dominic’s face.

“We will,” Dominic nodded and he really meant it. “We’ll make it, Lij. We always make it…”

Elijah was silent for a moment, just looking into Dominic’s beautiful eyes. He had never really understood why people were so obsessed with his own eyes. They were just a little bigger than the average person’s eyes and blue, but Dominic’s were really beautiful. He couldn’t help but notice that again.

“You think we can go there again? Sometime soon?” Elijah asked hopefully.

Dominic thought for a moment. “We have a few days off in April, we could go then. I would love to…very much…”

For the first time Elijah smiled again. His eyes were still red from crying and his cheeks were sticky, but he was smiling. Another thing Dominic had missed like crazy.

“Do you remember our conversation about fate?” Dominic suddenly asked and Elijah’s eyes lit up.

“Yes. You said you believe fate brought us all together here.”

“Hm-hmm,” Dominic looked a little pensive. “Maybe this had to happen, you know. Maybe it was destiny. To show us what we really mean to each other.”

Elijah was stunned for a moment. He hadn’t seen it like this yet, but it did make sense. Could this whole mess actually have a positive outcome?

“Yeah,” he said, mulling over it some more. “I’ve realized trying to be without you is just impossible. I didn’t want it myself. But I never thought about it like this. That it could be fate as well.”

Dominic smiled softly and tucked a strand of disheveled brown hair behind Elijah’s ear. It was always so cute to watch Elijah’s expression whenever he learnt some new information or new viewpoints. Even when they hadn’t been together yet, Elijah used to hang on Dominic’s lips, soaking up every word, his eyes wide with real, honest fascination. Only in moments like those, he was still like a little boy. And what an adorable little boy.

Dominic’s smile faded. “I think I should tell you something. Before you see it yourself tomorrow. I paid Sean a visit and my hand slipped a few times.”

Elijah gasped audibly and his eyes widened. He should have expected this, still it came as a shock. Most of all because he simply couldn’t picture Dominic being violent and in a blind rage. He had always been nothing but gentle and tender. But then again, he had never had any reason to lose his temper.

“You…you beat him up?”

“Not really,” Dominic snorted, sounding like he regretted that he hadn’t done anything worse to Sean. “I just went mental and he deserved it for what he did. And I would do it again and again. That will happen to anyone who dares to take you away from me. No sodding arsehole comes between you and me.”

His voice was dead serious and he had to struggle to keep the anger that was threatening to boil up again at bay.

In spite of believing that he maybe should, Elijah was feeling neither bad nor guilty about this. A part of him was worried about how he would ever be able to face Sean again, but the biggest part of him felt utterly touched. He would always have this man by his side. This man who was even willing to get into a fistfight for him. He would have him. Forever and ever.

“Did he hit you back?” Elijah heard himself ask, but Dominic’s face didn’t show any signs of a recent fight. Nor did his hands.

Dominic shook his head. “No. He didn’t even try to. Not even when I asked him if he’s in love with you himself and that’s why he’s acting like a bloody cunt.”

“You didn’t do that.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at Elijah’s disbelieving expression. “Oh my God, what did he say?”

“Didn’t even say anything to that,” Dominic snorted. “He just continued with his ‘Your fucking is not good for the movie’ bollocks.”

Sighing quietly, Elijah pulled Dominic closer to him and rested his head on his shoulder. “Fuck Dom…,” he mumbled miserably. “What do we do with him? We still have a few months to shoot and I can’t even look him in the eyes. How are we supposed to keep working together?”

Dominic’s slender fingers stroked Elijah’s back while he was contemplating that issue. He had been wondering about it himself, but he was at a loss. The cast would split up soon and film on different sets. Elijah would be with Sean practically all the time. His embrace tightened.

“I don’t know, baby,” he murmured, placing a soft kiss on the side of Elijah’s neck. “Just don’t take any more shit from him, okay? If he brings it up again, just ignore him.”

“I certainly won’t take any more shit from him,” Elijah pulled back a little to look into Dominic’s eyes. “Those times are over. He can’t harm us anymore.”

Dominic’s heart was pounding with various emotions. Love most of all, but also the hurt that still lingered there. And fear. It was painful to recall those final scenes. Elijah withdrawing from his arms, moving backwards and then running out of the house. Dominic thought he had lost him for good in that moment. He didn’t even want to think about what might have happened if they hadn’t found their way back to each other. There was nothing.

“Don’t leave me ever again,” he pleaded in a shaking voice and could actually see how Elijah’s heart broke at that.

“Never,” Elijah quickly said and before any more tears could fall, he pressed his lips against Dominic’s, putting all his love, his reassurance and his apologetic feelings into the kiss. Fiery passion seized them and the desperate need to feel each other. They were back.

 

~**~

 

There was one thing that Sean deserved credit for. Against Dominic’s expectations, Sean didn’t tell everyone the whole truth about his split lip and his bruised cheek the next day. He didn’t say that he had gotten into a fight with another cast member. Instead he came up with an explanation that sounded more than strange. According to Sean, he had slipped in the kitchen and fallen against the counter. But no one asked any more questions and his make-up girl managed to cover it. Not only was his lip injured, his cheek was bruised as well. A dark blue spot that Elijah couldn’t help but stare at through the long mirror as it was hidden beneath a layer of make-up. Elijah was glad that Dominic hadn’t done more to Sean. Whether he deserved it or not, they still had three movies to finish and a few months ahead of them. If something happened to the actors, New Line would freak out, even if they claimed it was an accident. However, Elijah told himself that he would get along with Sean at least on set from now on. He didn’t want their conflict to affect their performances anymore. They were supposed to portray two characters that were the personification of friendship, companionship and loyalty. No personal differences should fuck that up.

And so the days passed and filming continued. Elijah, Dominic and Billy hung out with each other while Sean kept himself company with his family. Dominic and Sean didn’t exchange a single word. Billy was more than happy that Elijah and Dominic sorted their problems out. He hadn’t expected anything else really. It was great to see them together again. Like nothing had happened. Their faces were as radiant and beaming as ever when they looked at each other. Elijah was no longer a catatonic mess and Dominic kept his hands away from alcohol. Or rather, he didn’t have to booze himself into coma anymore to get through the day.

So, it was convenient that an event was coming up that would take their minds off their Sean issues some more and that would allow them some distraction. When Peter told them about the Dragon Boat Festival in Wellington and that they were invited for the celebrity bathtub race, they had listened with fascination. Originally a traditional holiday in China, where it was known as Duanwu Festival, its history reached back to 400 BC. According to an ancient legend, a Chinese Statesman and poet drowned himself in a river to protest the corrupt regime at that time. Local fishermen raced out in their boats to save him, but they were too late. In order to prevent his body from being eaten by fish, they beat their paddles on the water and threw rice as a sacrifice to his spirit. His death was commemorated every year by racing at spectacular Dragon Boat Festivals around the world. 80 teams would compete in boats with ornately-carved and painted dragon heads and tails on the waterfront of Wellington.

“But besides the boats, there’s also another competition. The bathtub race,” Peter said with a grin.

“Bathtub race?” Orlando chuckled and scratched his mohawk hair. “What’s that supposed to be?”

“Well, instead of boats, you’re gonna race in bathtubs. It’s not really easy.”

“Now, that sounds ace,” Dominic laughed and rubbed his hands together. “Like when we had the boat training for the Anduin scene. Be careful that your tub doesn’t capsize, Orli.”

“Wanker,” Orlando snorted, remembering how his boat had tipped over while he and John had been sitting in it. “That was totally John’s fault! He’s twice my size and he leaned to the wrong side.”

“Oh yeah right,” Dominic smirked. “Guess that’s also why only your boat kept floating into the wrong direction.”

“That was that twat Bean!” Orlando protested, looking like a pouty little boy who was desperately defending himself.

Dominic loved their little teasing and fooling around sessions. Especially now. It felt so good to simply goof around without thinking, as they had always done before. It was really liberating and relaxing. So, on this Sunday at the end of February Orlando, Billy, Dominic and Elijah made their way to Queens Wharf, one of the busiest parts of the Wellington waterfront. Sean didn’t join them and Dominic and Elijah were rather relieved about that. Camera teams and photographers surrounded them and countless spectators had gathered at the harbor.

“Wow,” Elijah shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked over the water at the crowd. “Let’s hope we don’t embarrass ourselves, huh?” he giggled as Dominic stepped next to him and followed his gaze through his sunglasses.

“If we tip over, it’s all part of the show. We don’t want them to get bored, do we?” he winked. It was hard not to have his eyes glued to the guy next him. Elijah was wearing blue plaid boxer shorts which revealed his perfectly smooth legs and a dark shirt that made his pale face glow even more. Dominic had to really struggle not to reach over and put his arms around his slender frame. They had to be extra careful today as their every move would be captured on film and photos.

The race of the boats was a spectacular sight. Some of them had dragon heads and tails, some didn’t, but they all were filled with 20 paddlers, one person standing on the back of the boat and steering the team to victory and one person on the front whose task it was to keep the paddlers in time by being loud and energetic.

“Looks like an arse load of work,” Orlando remarked, watching the teams paddle and hear them shout like mad.

“They’ll have muscles like steel after this,” Billy smirked. “You should try this out, Orli.”

“Ha, not before the end of the filming,” Orlando crossed his arms and threw his non-existing long hair back. “I need to stay pure and angelic for Legolas.”

“Legolas would float above the water without touching it once,” Dominic laughed. “Or better, he would move the boat with his mind power only.”

“Yeah, he’s the coolest,” Orlando said with self-satisfaction.

“Though, when you think about, it’s more likely that his boat would capsize twice before reaching the finish line,” Dominic teased him some more and squirmed when Orlando jumped over to him, grabbed him and bit his neck.

“Woah, if you’re horny for me, just say so,” Dominic giggled.

Elijah watched them with an amused smile. He would have loved to smoke a cigarette until it was time to board the tubs, but that was probably a bad idea in front of the fans that had gathered a little further away from them. He had deliberately left his pack at home anyway. All the fans were young girls and they kept taking photos from the distance and waving over at him. He waved back and could hear loud shrieking. Sometimes he wondered why girls were so into him.

After putting on their life jackets, a reporter from “One News” came over to them, a microphone in his hand and followed by camera men. The four of them stood close together while they answered some questions.

“Elijah, how would Frodo handle this challenge?” the reporter asked.

“Oh my God, I don’t know,” Elijah grinned with a shrug. “I think Sam would probably come to his aid. Frodo can never do much by himself.”

Orlando, Dominic and Billy snorted at that and the reporter asked another question. “So, how is filming going?” He held his microphone out to Elijah again and the others willingly let their youngest, but most media experienced cast member take charge of the interview. Of course everyone would want to interview Elijah in particular.

“We’ve already seen about 20 minutes of the film cut together and it’s shaping up. It’s looking really amazing.”

They weren’t allowed to reveal any details and some journalists would have asked anyway. But thank God this reporter didn’t.

“You’re having a good time in New Zealand, haven’t you?” he asked with a friendly smile instead.

“Oh definitely,” Elijah said and Orlando added: “It’s a beautiful country. There’s lots to do, it’s really accessible.” For some reason he was wearing a hat now and together with his shorts pants and his shirt, he almost looked like a ranger.

“Friendly people,” Dominic threw in and the interviewer seemed to be satisfied with what he had gotten. It was an interesting experience. Except for Elijah, they hadn’t dealt with the media before Lord of the Rings, so answering questions was always new and exciting.

“One more thing,” the reporter said and pointed into the opposite direction. “Would you mind taking some photos with the fans over there after the race?”

Of course they wouldn’t mind and got ready for the competition. They all were wearing shorts and shirts and Dominic proudly presented his red shirt that had the words Manchester and England at the front. Elijah realized how good he looked in red. He looked particularly good in yellow, but red wasn’t bad either. And black of course. Before Elijah could contemplate any further about handsome shirt colors for Dominic, they went over to the wooden platform that led down into the water. The bathtubs were positioned right there.

“It’s an art in itself to get into these without tipping them over right away,” Billy chuckled after Dominic and Orlando managed to get on board. 

“Oh my fucking God,” Elijah laughed as he sat down and grabbed the paddles. The tub was swaying like crazy and he wondered how he was supposed to make it even a few feet. A loudspeaker voice announced that the celebrity race was now starting and the whole time this voice commented on their attempts to row the tubs.

Just mere seconds after the race started, Orlando capsized, as predicted. He laughed and cursed at the same time and Dominic saw his chance to overtake him. Laughing evilly, he paddled faster, but didn’t get very far. Due to the heavy rocking, his bathtub toppled over and he landed in the water with a splash.

“You manipulated my boat!” he shouted over at Orlando who just pulled a teasing grimace. Billy and Elijah came closer and closer while Dominic and Orlando tried to get back into the tubs, but it was impossible. More and more water flowed into them until they were almost sinking. Elijah had great difficulties maneuvering the tub, in fact, he made very little progress, whereas Billy turned out to be quite the skilled paddler. Orlando and Dominic grinned at each other mischievously and then swam after Billy. When they reached the bathtub, they grabbed both sides and tipped Billy out of it.

“Traitors!” Billy laughed.

“Equal chances for everyone,” Dominic snickered and looked over his shoulder. Elijah was rather far behind and his tub had capsized as well. He started to swim towards them, but he was still rather slow.

“May the best swimmer win!” he shouted over to the others, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’ll win this thing for us!” Dominic yelled back and headed after Billy and Orlando who had just began to swim for the finish line. 

“Looks like our bathtub race just degenerated into a swimming race,” the loudspeaker voice said amused.

Orlando, Dominic and Billy reached the finish almost simultaneously and immediately started to argue who was first. A few minutes later even Elijah finally made it. He was noticeably out of breath.

“You shouldn’t smoke so much, Lij,” Orlando chuckled. He looked like he couldn’t be any more comfortable, not like he had just finished a swimming race.

Elijah was relieved when he could stop kicking his legs and moving his arms and simply let the life jacket keep him afloat.

“Aaah…I could do with a clove now,” he joked.

“You’re hopeless,” Dominic shook his head with a smile and held on to Elijah, though that wasn’t really necessary. 

A rescue boat approached them to pick them up and soon they were back on the wharf.

“So, who won?” the reporter inquired, but since everyone claimed victory, except Elijah who said Billy had been first, that question couldn’t be answered clearly. Their clothes were soaked and they dried themselves off as well as possible.

Some staff member went over to the fangirls that were taking photos eagerly and talking with each other with excited voices. He informed them that they could walk over to the cast now and they shrieked loudly. As they came closer, Elijah noticed that they were even younger than they had looked from afar. None of them was older than 14, for sure. They held “Faculty”, “Deep Impact” and various other photos under his nose and he patiently signed them all. The girls couldn’t stop beaming. Billy was talking to the reporter when a girl came up to him.

“Hello Dominic,” she said timidly. “Would you sign this photo for me?”

Billy grinned and took the item, signing it with his own name. The girl visibly blushed when she noticed her mistake.

“Oops,” she said. “I thought…well…you have fair hair now and on the net they were dark.”

“No problem. Happens when you’re half-famous,” he winked.

A big group of almost hyperventilating fans had surrounded Elijah now and he patiently signed everything and posed for pictures. Dominic watched the scene and grinned to himself. Elijah was an absolute girl magnet and Dominic wasn’t surprised about that. Especially the way he looked today. His kitty hair tousled, showing so much skin…Dominic shook his head to stop himself from going any further with his thoughts. At the end, Elijah, Dominic, Billy and Orlando posed for photos together and Orlando couldn’t help but bite Dominic’s neck again. The fans surely had the time of their lives. But not just they.

The boys put their arms around each other while posing, looking like they had known each other for years. Dominic took advantage of that and put his arm around Elijah’s shoulder happily when the cameras stopped clicking. Leaning over a little, he whispered into his ear.

“You look delicious all wet like this…”

Elijah struggled not to blush deeply. “You shouldn’t do that in front of the cameras,” he mumbled.

“Or the girls. They might get jealous.”

“Woah, if they knew…,” Elijah said quietly, watching the fans who were still taking photos.

“Hey, they’d still have Orli to drool over,” Dominic snorted.

“No, you,” Elijah said seriously, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You don’t know how sexy you are, do you?”

Dominic looked at him lovingly, forgetting about the press for a moment. “You’re biased, love.”

“No really,” Elijah insisted. “The girls are gonna stick to you like flies.”

“Only the Americans. It’s the accent, I’m telling you,” Dominic said and sighed. He was silent for a few moments. “Today really did us good,” he said eventually.

Elijah smiled. “Yeah. Let’s keep up the good mood for as long as we can.”

“Deal.”

They smiled at each other and Dominic forced himself to remove his arm from around Elijah. Otherwise someone might come up with the right ideas after all. The news team continued filming and the boys gave a few more brief interviews before entering their black van again to leave the harbor. The excited fangirls tried to catch a glimpse inside, but due to the dark windows they couldn’t see anything. Dominic was sitting next to Elijah and thought about the future. It would be like this from now on. Screaming fans, cameras, reporters, interviews, more and more people recognizing him and asking for autographs and photos. His acting career was going in the right direction. And what was most important and surpassed everything else was the man of his dreams by his side without whom Dominic would be nothing, no matter what big of a career he would eventually have. Elijah turned his face to him, a smile on his lips. If they had been alone in the van, Dominic would have cupped that beautiful face and kissed him without thinking twice. But they had the rest of the day for that. And all night.

Yes. They were back.

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

Elijah shivered as he sat down on the blanket on the white sand. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his body, his eyes roaming the deep blue sea and the horizon in the distance. New Zealand summers were cool compared to summers in Los Angeles. Big clouds hovered in the sky, but occasionally the sun managed to lurk out from behind them, sending her rays down on the earth and making the ocean sparkle. The water was chilly and not even his wetsuit could keep Elijah warm. A memory popped up in his head and he had to smile. Glistening, cool water. Just like at Lake Te Anau. Back then Dominic had been the sensitive one as they had waded into the water side by side. But only their lower legs had been wet. That had been in November. Then in January they had gone swimming in the very same lake. It had been chilly but bearable, mainly because Elijah’s body had been pressed against Dominic’s. Now it was March, the last month of summer in the Southern hemisphere and they went surfing on Lyall Bay, on Wellington’s south coast. Next month they would go back, back to their own lake, their own little paradise. Elijah’s heart jumped with joy at that thought. 

A breakwater at one end of the big open bay created excellent waves for surfing. The windswept coastline jutting out into Cook Strait was ideal for catching and riding perfect waves. There were quite a lot of surfers out on the water today and when Elijah shielded and narrowed his eyes, he could make out three very familiar figures among them. Billy was pretty skilled with his board. Dominic wasn’t bad either, but Orlando hadn’t stopped making a fool out of himself yet. Elijah remembered their first attempts at this sport and had to grin. They had simply purchased surfboards and wetsuits, not knowing what they were doing but doing it nonetheless. The professional surfers had looked at them like they were totally mad. Elijah loved it, even though he wasn’t very good at it. He especially loved watching Dominic in his tight wetsuit which left nothing to the imagination. A fun sport indeed.

A ferry passed by in the distance and Elijah looked up as a familiar sound became louder and louder. A plane approached Wellington airport which was situated right on the west side of the bay. Elijah could sit there all day long and just watch the machines land and take off. It was a fascinating sight. But right now his eyes got captured by another attractive sight. Dominic slowly waded out of the water, his surfboard tucked under his arm and his wet hair thrown back. The short-legged and short-sleeved wetsuit stuck to his body, exposing his well-shaped arms and legs. Elijah grinned as Dominic came towards him, silently cursing the place and the circumstances and that he couldn’t throw himself at him right here and now. But the beach was a very popular one and they weren’t alone. Occasionally people would look at Elijah, leaving no doubt that they knew exactly who he was and who the guys with him were. The locals had turned out be a very pleasant bunch. They knew about the Lord of the Rings being filmed in their country of course, but now after almost five months into principal photography most of them didn’t fall head over heels anymore whenever they saw the actors out and about somewhere. Elijah had the feeling that the Fellowship had become a part of the local community. People would still ask for autographs and photos, but they weren’t invasive. A nice difference to life in Los Angeles, Elijah had realized.

“Getting pretty chilly, huh?” Dominic smiled, putting his board down on the sand next to Elijah’s and running both his hands through his dripping hair. 

Elijah smiled back, trying not to look too obviously smitten to any potential onlookers. “Summer’s gonna be over soon…,” he sighed dramatically. “Looks like we get to spend a colorful fall in Te Anau next month.”

“You mean autumn, right?” Dominic chuckled as he lowered himself on the blanket opposite Elijah and wrapped his towel around his shoulders.

“Oh yeah, Americans say autumn too, but it sounds so boringly fancy,” Elijah remarked amused. It was always fun talking about differences between American and British English and sometimes it even made Elijah wish he was British himself. The cliché was definitely right. English men had a fascinating effect on American girls, or in this case, American guys. The accent was just to die for.

“Well, don’t worry about getting cold at the lake,” Dominic looked at him with enticing eyes which sparkled with his usual cheekiness. “We’ll heat the place up with our mere hot presence.”

“Ohh, no doubt about that,” Elijah purred and wriggled his eyebrows. They burst into insane giggling, drawing the attention of a few people to them who passed by in that moment. Everything between them felt right again. The dreadful memory of their short time apart was there of course and it probably always would be, but they decided only to see the good in it. Their bond was more intense and their love even stronger and deeper. And Elijah felt stronger all in all. He still couldn’t figure out what he had been thinking, he just knew it would never ever happen again. Since getting back together with Dominic, the certainty, no, the firm knowledge that this was absolutely right, that he was the luckiest guy in the world and that they were right for each other had never let him go. And he would hold on to that, now and forever.

Dominic, however, was still haunted by horrifying visions sometimes during lonely nights when Elijah couldn’t be with him. What would have happened if he had lost Elijah for good? He would have dropped everything and left New Zealand once and for all. And then? Nothing. Dominic didn’t want to think about it, yet the ‘what ifs’ wouldn’t leave him alone. It scared him. He had always been the mentally strong one, the reassuring force at the beginning. And now here he was, pondering over the past and something that would never happen again. He believed in Elijah and he believed in them. Still it was something he felt the need to talk about with Elijah in a quiet, private moment. Not now and definitely not here. Gazing into Elijah’s radiant eyes, Dominic found himself in an awestruck state of mind once again, as so many times when he would simply sit and look at him. They could sit like this, in silence, calm and relaxed, not saying a word and simply savoring each other’s company. It was something one couldn’t share with everyone.

“I would kiss you right now, if I could,” Dominic said softly after a few moments of silence and quiet looks. He wrapped his towel more tightly around his body. Somehow he thought that would help him remain on his spot. At least there were no other people within earshot.

Elijah tilted his head a little to the side before closing his eyes and exhaling softly. Warmth filled him as he pictured the scene in his head. Dominic kissing him right here on the beach and no one around them minded. In the perfect little world within his imagination they were just like any other couple. He opened his eyes again as the kiss ended and blinked at Dominic. A dreamy look was in them.

“Mmm…,” Elijah hummed and licked his lips. “That was a lovely kiss.”

Dominic smiled and bent his head to the other side. Then he shut his eyes and the real world disappeared. In front of his inner eyes Elijah was in his arms, locked in a loving embrace and his soft lips on Dominic’s. The sun was shining down on them and the sound of the ocean filled their ears. Elijah watched Dominic and closed his own eyes once more, the image strong in his head. They were sitting like for a moment, their vivid minds doing what their bodies couldn’t do. Elijah heard how Dominic emitted a quiet sigh and he opened his eyes again just as Dominic opened his. They looked at each other as if they had just shared a real kiss.

“Mmm…,” Dominic licked his lips, a smile on them. “Did you feel that, too?”

“Hmm-hmm,” Elijah nodded and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and leaning his chin on his knees. “I love you…”

“I love you, too…,” Dominic said quietly. It was a perfect moment actually. Crashing waves, a beautiful beach, the sun shining in between clouds and Elijah right here with him. They couldn’t touch, but in this moment it didn’t seem to matter. They were with each other and that was always something special.

“I can’t wait for Te Anau next month,” Elijah said in a longing tone, his eyes shifting to the wide ocean and its shiny surface. “I miss our quiet, lovely getaway.”

Dominic smiled. “We need to bring the romance back definitely,” his smile faded as he thought about the past days. They hadn’t had nearly enough time for themselves alone lately. Their scenes together were over for now and they shot on different sets more and more often.

“I had so many romantic ideas before…well…you know…but since then there wasn’t really much time for romance.”

Elijah tried not to wince. It was his fault that they hadn’t been able to follow any romantic ideas that Dominic had thought of. Above all going out to have dinner somewhere in a not too obviously couply manner. And since their reconciliation it had been tough as they had had hardly any days off. The filming schedule was getting tighter and tighter and sometimes one of them worked on the North Island while the other one was on the South Island. But at least the main cast would get a three week break in April. Just what they needed.

Of course Dominic knew what Elijah was thinking. Struggling not to reach out and pull him over against him, he had to rely on his reassuring voice. “Lijah, don’t think about it anymore. It’s in the past. You have to forgive yourself first before we can be free to go on, okay baby? There’s nothing we can’t pull off. Let all the shit go.”

The blue eyes that had been cast down looked up again. Remorse and guilt were still written all over Elijah’s face, but also a tinge of determination. 

“I’ll make it up to you, Dom, I swear,” he said firmly, looking directly into Dominic’s eyes. “Te Anau is gonna be even better than it was the first time. And you’re not the only one with romantic ideas. You’ll be showered with so much romance and love that you’ll forget your own name.”

Dominic didn’t know how he managed to remain on his spot, but he somehow did as he took in Elijah’s enthusiastic expression. He just knew that he found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with this man every day and that he would keep him forever. There was just no other option.

“Not if I shower you first,” he smiled, but turned serious again. “Really Lij, don’t worry about it. I know we’re gonna be alright as long as we have each other.”

“And we will always have each other,” Elijah assured him and nodded, like he wanted to emphasize his words. “I love you with all my heart, how could I not want to be with you?”

Dominic melted inside. Just one brief hug, a hug among friends, no harm done. He couldn’t resist the urge any longer. Letting go of the towel around him, he scooted forward and pulled Elijah into a short but strong embrace. Elijah’s arms came around him, holding him tightly and then reluctantly releasing him again as they moved back to their former spots. Dominic took a careful look around, but no one was giving them any weird looks. It felt good to see your fears and worries proven wrong sometimes.

Orlando and Billy still had their fun on the surfboards and Dominic wanted to hit the waves once more as well.

“Coming in for another round?” he asked, but his relaxed and content spirit immediately died as his gaze got fixed on something behind Elijah. Or rather someone. “Oh bloody shit…”

Elijah frowned and turned around. His eyes widened and he quickly looked at Dominic again. “What does he want here?”

“I have no bloody idea,” Dominic said through gritted teeth, his eyes still on Sean who was walking across the beach and towards them. “I hope it’s not what I think it is.”

Before Elijah could find any words to tell Dominic to calm down, wait and see, Sean was standing right next to them, his hands shoved into the pockets of his short pants and his eyes looking from Elijah to Dominic and back at Elijah.

“Hey,” he said after taking a deep breath. “May I sit down?”

Elijah stared at Dominic who stared back at him. Do it. Give him a chance. No need to freak out yet.

“Uhm...,” Elijah gazed up at Sean with a little uncertainty. “Sure.”

Sean lowered himself on the sand and turned his face towards the sea. “Nice day for surfing, isn't it?” he asked casually. Elijah narrowed his eyes in confusion and Dominic stared down at his hands. He seemed to be holding his breath, like it took every effort for him to remain calm and composed.

“What do you want, Sean?” Dominic suddenly said in a tense voice, glaring at Sean with icy mistrust. Elijah pulled his towel more tightly around himself. A shiver ran down his spine and he suddenly felt colder than before.

Sean didn't say anything. He was searching for words, the right words that would sound believable and plausible. It wasn't easy. He wouldn't even believe himself.

Taking another deep breath, he looked down at his fumbling fingers. “Listen, I know we can't go on like this. We need to get along, despite everything that happened. We need to be a unit. I've been thinking. You know, I really regret all the shit that’s between us. I didn't mean for it to go this far. I never wanted to harm any of you. It's just...”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It had taken him long hours of thinking and contemplating and trying to find a way to get the issue out of the world. Sean was very much aware that he was not the easiest person to get along with. Sometimes he could get pretty much overly enthusiastic, looking neither left nor right and not thinking about anyone else. Despite his 29 years he often acted like a kid himself. He had always thought Elijah was a kid with his 18, 19 years, but the truth was that Elijah was often more worldly, sophisticated and mature than Sean was.

Elijah looked at him intently, but Dominic was staring at the ground.

“All I wanted was protect the movie and everyone involved,” Sean continued. “Yes, also Elijah because I thought he didn't know what he was doing. My head was full with the movie, I just didn’t see anything else. I have nothing against gays, really, absolutely nothing. If I was homophobic, I would be in the wrong business...”

He attempted a smile, but stopped when he saw it was in vain. Elijah’s eyes were still on him revealing absolutely nothing and Dominic’s expression was stony and solemn.

“Anyway...,” Sean sighed heavily and avoided Elijah’s penetrating gaze. It made him feel uncomfortable, but he couldn’t exactly tell why. “I know you probably don’t believe me, but I came here to apologize.”

“Bloody right, I don’t believe you,” Dominic hissed, making Sean jump lightly from the sudden outburst. As he glared at Sean, he found it very hard not to clench his fist. “You seriously think you can come and expect us to forgive you just like this? Fucking hell, it’s hard enough not to kick your sodding arse right now!”

He raised his voice more than he probably should as a few people turned around and looked over at the three of them. Dominic didn’t seem to notice, but Elijah reached over and placed his hand on Dominic’s arm.

“Dom...,” was all Elijah mumbled quietly, making Dominic tear his angry eyes away from Sean. Elijah’s face always had a calming effect on him and this time was no different. He was still panting slightly with fury.

“Seriously,” Elijah pulled his hand away and turned to Sean. “What the fuck do you expect us to do, Sean? I don’t even know if you’re for real or not. I mean, you behaved like a fucking asshole. You know, I’ve always liked you, even when you treated me like a baby. It got annoying after a while, but I still thought I’d somehow get along with you. I wanted us to be friends, but you didn’t make it very easy. I didn’t want you to act like you’re my surrogate father or whatever. We’ve heard it a thousand times already and we’re very much aware that it’s risky and all, but what can we do? We fell in love and we can’t change it. Fuck, we don’t want to change it. We’re not going to shout if from the rooftops, so stop freaking out, for fuck’s sake. If you can’t accept that, then I’m sorry.”

Dominic was glad that at least Elijah was still able to talk reasonably. He felt his anger building up again as he stared at Sean and his fingers itched. Calm down, calm down. Take a deep breath and calm down. Don’t cause a scene, you’re not like Sean, he told himself again and again.

“Elijah...I...,” Sean seemed genuinely desperate. Dominic was sure he was only begging for forgiveness for the sake of the movie, but he was still begging for forgiveness. A first step into the right direction, but not nearly enough.

“Sean, I swear, if you try anything else...,” Dominic muttered angrily, struggling to keep his voice down. “You won’t break us up again, so you better get your bloody shit together and sod off.”

If they hadn’t been in the middle of a relatively crowded beach, Sean would have been sure that Dominic would lose his temper and use his fist again. Maybe he even would have done it despite the people around them, if Elijah hadn’t been there. Dominic was boiling with anger and Sean could do without another bruised face.

“I just wanted to clear this mess up between us,” Sean tried again, but he could see that it was useless. Nothing he said could convince Dominic, but Elijah might be a different matter. Elijah was very dear to Sean, he admired him, he cared about him and he definitely didn’t want to lose him as a friend. He still thought he could restore Elijah’s friendship, but it would be a hard way.

“I know I acted without thinking and I made a mistake. I didn’t give a damn about your or Dom’s feelings, but believe me, Elijah, I only wanted what’s best for you and for the movie. You were absolutely right when you said I should know how you’re feeling. I’m married after all. After Dom and I bumped into each other, I had lots of time to withdraw and think about everything. I know it probably sounds so hypocritical to you, all of a sudden I come here and say I’m sorry, but I am. I caused you so much trouble and it wasn’t my intention. I was scared for you, Elijah. You’re so lovable and sweet and innocent, and just thinking about you in that gay hating minefield...well...you know how safety obsessed I can be. I’m just begging you to think about what I said. It’s all I can ask for.”

Elijah crossed his arms in front of his chest which caused the towel to drop from around him. Sean didn’t quite know what to make of his questioning look.

“I’m not the only one you should apologize to, Sean, don’t you think?”

Sean glanced at Dominic, but he felt scared doing so.

“Dom, I know you’re still pissed at me, but I’m seriously trying to make a step towards you guys here. Tell you what, it’s all up to you of course. I’ll try to be a better friend for you from now on. And I thought that...well...”

Sean was reluctant to bring the subject up now as it was probably in vain anyway, but a part of him was still hoping. It might be a good opportunity for him to restore the friendship that they once had.

“I thought...if you don’t mind...I would like to come to Sydney with you...”

“What?” Dominic’s eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently. “No no no, we wanna enjoy that visit, Sean. And with you there, I’m not so sure if we would.”

Elijah exhaled heavily and scratched his head. This was truly a messed up situation. Billy, Orlando, Dominic and he had planned to jet over to Australia during their next day off to visit the Star Wars set at Fox Studios in Sydney where George Lucas was currently filming his prequels. Dominic had been looking forward to it in particular as he was probably the biggest Star Wars fan alive. Elijah wanted to believe Sean, but on the other hand he was still too caught up in his hard feelings towards him. And convincing Dominic to have Sean with them on that day would be a tough thing.

“Look, I just asked if you would mind,” Sean raised his hands in a defensive manner, trying to calm down any potential raging outburst. “And obviously you do which I don’t blame you for.”

“Nice that you understand,” Dominic said grimly.

“Sean...,” Elijah sighed eventually and leaned forward and towards him a little. “Thank you and we’ll think about it, okay?”

Chewing on his bottom lip, visibly not very content with the outcome of this talk, Sean eyed him for a moment before nodding. “Fair enough.” He got up again and brushed the sand off the bottomside of his pants. Inside he was screaming at himself. What had he expected? That they could kiss and make up just like that? He had done what he could and the rest was up them. Dominic could be stubborn sometimes, Sean knew that, but he had hopes that Elijah would really think about what he had said and that in the end they would somehow find a way towards each other again.

“Believe it or not,” Sean said after a few seconds of awkward silence and buried his sweaty hands in his pockets. “I miss you guys. This shouldn’t have happened and I hope we can still fix it somehow. Elijah...you...you’ve become very dear to me and I don’t want us to be friends on screen only. I wanna have something real with you, you know, a real close friendship. It needs to be visible in the movie as well, so, if not for me, please let’s give it a try for the movie. I just...fuck...I just need a chance...”

Elijah was the person he missed most of all, but Sean did not want to admit that openly. At least not right here and now. From day one, he had become very attached to Elijah. He had always admired his younger co-star, long before they had met for the first time. Elijah was sort of a movie veteran, much more than Sean, and it had been an honor for him to have been cast beside him. And somehow Sean was obsessed with the idea that they could transcend their Frodo/Sam friendship and make it real in a way. “Life imitates art” was a line Sean cherished and a motto that he wanted to live up to. If he didn’t fuck it all up between them after all, there was still a chance that they could live up to it.

“I better go now,” Sean mumbled, glimpsing one last time at Orlando and Billy on their surfboards in the distance. “See you tomorrow.” And with that he turned around and strolled back across the beach and to the street.

Elijah’s eyes bored into his back as he walked away from them. He couldn’t believe it, but he actually caught himself feeling sorry for Sean. Feeling helpless and clueless, Elijah turned to Dominic who looked back at him questioningly.

“What do you think?” Dominic’s voice held a skeptical undertone that Elijah couldn’t miss.

“I don’t know,” Elijah sighed and picked up his towel again. He didn’t wrap it around himself again, instead he started to fumble with some loose threads.

“You wanna give him a chance, don’t you, Lij?”

Elijah sighed once more and dropped the towel again. “Well, he’s right about one thing. We can’t go on like this. We need to sort this shit out between us and I so want to believe him and believe that he’s really serious.”

Dominic could see Elijah’s inner struggle, as he had always been able to. Elijah needed peace and he needed it more than anyone else. He was the one who spent most of his time with Sean on set now, he was the one who had to portray what was probably the closest and most devoted friendship in the history of literature. But as much as Elijah wanted to make up with Sean, he couldn’t simply forget about the past. Dominic knew that all too well. If it was just him, he could do without Sean’s friendship. And he wondered how the three of them could ever have a halfway normal relationship again. But the way things were now, all three of them were suffering.

“You’re probably acting more grown up in this than me at the moment. It’s a sodding situation,” Dominic studied Elijah’s face closely. The struggle was still there. 

“I hope you don’t blame me if I don’t forgive him right away, Lijah. It’s just...he tried to take you away from me. And the mere thought of what would have been if he had succeeded gives me nightmares. I know I must sound like an obsessed freak, but it’s like this. I don’t know what I would do without you...shit...”

His voice collapsed and his fingers rubbed his eyes which felt terribly sore suddenly. His emotions threatened to overwhelm him and he desperately tried to keep them under control.

Hearing the words and seeing the torment, Elijah almost reached out to pull Dominic into a tight embrace. Fuck the people, fuck the suspicious looks. Fuck, why couldn’t they be alone?

“Dom...,” Elijah tried to get Dominic out of the advancing darkness. “Fuck, what have I done? Dom...”

With a sudden jerk, Dominic raised his head again and took a deep breath. “It’s okay, I’m fine,” he mumbled, but his eyes didn’t meet Elijah’s. He struggled to get a grip on himself and not to break down in public.

“Dom...please...look at me.”

Elijah’s soft, pleading voice brought him back somehow and he looked at him.

“He didn’t succeed. We’ve only become stronger through this. It was our fate, remember? Nothing and no one can come between us ever again. He just showed us how much we’re meant to be, Dom. We need to look at it like this.”

Elijah knew he wasn’t only comforting Dominic in this moment, he was also comforting himself. If he didn’t forgive himself, they could never live normally and happily again. Something would always be on his heart, pulling him down into a dark hole full of guilt and self-blame. Focus on the positive side only, that’s what Elijah was determined to follow.

“You’re right,” Dominic croaked and cleared his throat. “Sorry for the little breakdown...”

“Hey hey, don’t be sorry,” Elijah quickly interrupted him, scooting a little closer. “Don’t ever be sorry. We have every fucking right to breakdown whenever and wherever we want, okay? There’s already so much that we have to hide in public, and if anyone has a problem with crying men in public, it’s their fucking problem.”

Dominic couldn’t help but smile lightly at that. It was just what he needed. He had always been the one to cheer Elijah up and make him see positive things if Elijah could only see blank darkness.

“I just don’t want to lose you, Lijah,” he said quietly, his eyes boring into Elijah’s. “I can’t lose you...never...”

“You won’t,” Elijah reassured him as best as he could and sighed heavily. “Fuck, I want to hold you so tightly right now.”

“I know, baby. And you’re doing just that,” Dominic told him and now it was Elijah’s turn to form a smile.

“I’m holding you so tightly, you have nowhere to go. I love you.”

“Mmm...it’s a lovely feeling. I love you, too.”

The sound of the crashing waves, of loud kids, people talking, birds in the sky and another plane taking off from Wellington airport surrounded them. The sun was hiding behind large clouds again and the air got chilly, but not for Dominic and Elijah. It was warm, warmer than it had ever been before. Dominic leaned back on his hands and tilted his head slightly to the side as he looked at Elijah with a smile.

“I’m still looking forward to Sydney. It’s gonna be bloody ace.”

“Absolutely,” Elijah smiled back. “We’ll have a great time. You’re gonna impress everyone with your voice skills.”

It was amazing how good Dominic was able to imitate various voices from the Star Wars movie, from Yoda to Chewbacca. Elijah could listen to him for hours, but then again, he could always listen to him for hours. Dominic had by far the sexiest voice he had ever heard and it was not just the accent.

“You think Georgie would hire me for the next part?” Dominic grinned and put on a dreamy expression. Light-hearted fooling around. Don’t let anything get to you. Everything’s okay and will remain okay. “Hmm...being Natalie’s co-star, every bloke’s dream.”

“Well, you drool over Natalie, I drool over Ewan,” Elijah crossed his arms and snorted in a mocking way.

“I’m bi. I drool over everyone,” Dominic laughed and turned around as Billy and Orlando slowly made their way to them, carrying their surfboards and absorbed in a talk.

“Hey, you lazy arses,” Orlando’s loud voice overshadowed every other sound on the beach. “Why are you just sitting here? Get your pretty butts back into the water.”

Dominic and Elijah looked into each other’s contently smiling eyes. A silent agreement was made between them, no words required and no fear of what could happen. Elijah nodded and Dominic nodded in response. Then he looked up into Orlando’s and Billy’s questioning faces.

“Sean is gonna join us.”


	26. Chapter 26

_March 10, 2000_

_Dearest diary,_

_I never, bloody never, would have thought I would actually be on a real Star Wars set one day. I mean, seriously, how lucky can you get? I was so humbled and I almost didn’t get any words out when George Lucas himself was standing right in front of me. Yes, I didn’t know what to say, believe it or not. But that man is a legend! It’s been an awesome trip and I’ll forever be grateful for this opportunity. Those Fox Studios must be as big as the Universal Studios in LA for sure. I almost felt a little bad for the actors though. We’re filming all over New Zealand, out in the open and not digitally all the time, you know. As Lijah put it, Star Wars is so sterile and clean with so much digital stuff on set while we shoot on dirty and messy locations. It was almost like entering a completely new world. We got to check out everything and the cast was super lovely. Though I’m afraid we might have freaked them out a little. We were like, hi we’re the hobbits and this is the Elf, how are you doing? Ewan found it totally amusing, he and Billy had a long chat, you know, they’re both Scots, but Ewan doesn’t have a thick accent. But Natalie must have thought we were totally mental. I think that makes me appreciate what we have here even more, and the passion that everyone has, you know. We’re not just playing our roles, they’ve become a part of us. And the Star Wars cast is more connected to Hollywood, I think. Natalie said something like, you know I’m not really Queen Amidala, it’s just a role, but we said yeah, we’re us, but we’re also Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin. I mean, we moved to New Zealand for more than a year to film three movies, you can’t do anything else but become a part of the country and you see the movies with different eyes. It’s not just our work, it’s our life for these sixteen months. She could laugh about it though. Heh, what a cute and gorgeous lass. Another sane former child star, just like Lijah. Anyway, I don’t think anyone will ever be able to understand what we’re experiencing here. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing that every actor dreams of._

_As for Sean, I don’t know how he did it, but he’s become rather pleasant. He was constantly at Elijah’s side and even I managed to get half-way along with him. It was awkward and odd, but we need to go on. For the sake of everyone. I don’t wanna hold any grudges, but it still hurts deep inside, you know. I don’t wanna apologise that I hit him. It was how I was feeling after all that sodding crap. I guess I just need more time. I almost hate to admit that Sean and I do have a very important thing in common, but we handle it differently. Very differently in fact. Sean always says he just wanted what's best for Lijah, he wanted to protect him from big, bad, gay hating Hollywood. Besides protecting the movie of course. Yes, there is an innocence about Lijah that just makes you want to protect him and take care of him. It’s nuts because he’s 19 and a billion times more experienced when it comes to Hollywood than me. But it’s how I feel about him. I love him and want to protect him from any shit out there. And Sean has these heavy safety issues and always wants to look after Elijah. It’s not a bad thing, not at all. But there’s a difference between caring about someone and treating that someone like a baby. Anyway, I think Sean and I can work things out. We need to sit down one day and have a talk. I do want us all to get along, you know. We’re four hobbits, not three. We’re supposed to be the good-natured, kind-hearted, carefree blokes. Of course you can’t get along with everyone if you’re a part of such a big cast. We all have great days and we have days that are totally bollocks. But at the end of the day, we all are a unit and aware that we’re creating something amazing together. It’s what keeps us going, day by day. And seriously, with a director like Pete, it’s impossible not to have a smile on your face when you come on set in the morning. I still haven’t seen him lose his temper yet or get angry or annoyed or something. He’s a bloody phenomenon. Are all movie directors like this??_

_It’s Friday night and tomorrow Lijah, Billy, Viggo and I are going to check out the Military Tattoo here in Wellington. We’re gonna have to_

 

“Still drooling over Natalie?” Dominic stopped writing and grinned, glancing back over his shoulder. Elijah was leaning against the frame of the bedroom door with his arms crossed and nothing but a pair of plaid boxers on his body. Dominic himself was lying on his bed, propped up on his elbow with his head in his hand as he filled another page of his diary. No disturbing fabric covered his body, much to Elijah’s delight. 

“Mmm...Natalie who?” Dominic smirked as he eyed Elijah up and down. “Got all I want right here...”

“Good to know,” Elijah winked, leaving his spot at the door and slowly moving over to the bed.

“Gonna be with you in a second,” Dominic looked at the page again and tried to remember what he had been going to write before Elijah distracted him with his delicious appearance. Slowly it came back to his mind.

 

_rent kilts. Mmm...Lijah in a kilt...have to stop now. Emergency. Cannot think, too much sex in the air..._

 

Elijah climbed into the bed, his eyes glued to Dominic’s back which was turned to him. He cozied up to the warm skin, giving Dominic the time to finish his entry without glimpsing at the sheet once. Instead he buried his nose in the back of Dominic’s neck and inhaled the lovely scent before placing a soft kiss on the shoulder.

“You smell so good... you always smell so good....” Dominic felt his lower regions come to life at the sound of Elijah’s whispering voice in his ear and his warm breath against his skin. His trembling hand brought the text to an end quickly and closed the diary which joined the pen on the floor. Elijah pulled his shorts down and tossed them away. One smooth, pale leg came around Dominic’s strong hips as Elijah pressed his now naked body against him. Tender fingers stroked up and down Dominic’s upper arm and then all over his chest.

“Mmm...,” Dominic purred, feeling growing hardness against his buttocks. Placing his hand on Elijah’s thigh, he caressed the soft skin there. He completely savored the position he was in, enveloped by Elijah’s beautiful and beautifully nude body.

“I’m so glad everything went well in Sydney...,” Elijah’s voice was still a whisper and his eyes were closed. A state of foggy passion had seized him and his lips wandered from Dominic’s shoulder to the side of his neck.

“Yeah...,” Dominic sighed softly, relishing Elijah’s wet mouth on him. “Time to leave all the crap behind...”

Indeed something did feel different since they had come back from Australia the day before. A heavy burden had been lifted off them. A burden that hadn’t squashed them, but that had been wavering above their heads for a long time, threatening to crush them. Sean not being on their side but acting like their enemy. It was over. And hopefully for good.

Dominic turned his head around and caught Elijah’s still exploring lips with his own. Elijah immediately dived into the kiss and pulled his leg away, allowing Dominic to shift and lie on his back. But only for a brief moment. The leg was instantly back where it belonged, namely on the other side of Dominic’s waist, as Elijah braced himself with his arms before settling down on Dominic’s firm but warm body. Their lips never parted once. Elijah buried his tongue deep inside Dominic’s mouth, moving it around, probing, licking and twirling it around the other tongue. An overwhelming, consuming kiss that left Dominic breathless, panting and sighing softly into the hot cavern that was Elijah’s mouth. And when Elijah began rocking and grinding his hips slowly, bringing their erections into pulsating contact, Dominic didn’t know why he did not just grab this horny little man and push his almost too hard cock into him. Probably because Dominic’s passion-fogged mind didn’t work very well in that moment, with a very turned on Elijah whose fingers weaved through his hair on top of him. Dominic’s own hands slid down Elijah’s astonishingly soft back until they reached those perfect, round globes that were his buttocks. He gave them a good squeeze and smirked when Elijah gasped and lifted his hips so he could bend his legs and straddle the torso beneath him.

“Mmm...Lij...,” Dominic’s voice was low and husky and his lips started to tingle lightly from the almost too deep and frantic kiss. 

“Baby, I need to breathe from time to time,” he managed to utter and grinned when Elijah pulled back a little and looked at him like he didn’t understand what he was talking about. His blue eyes were filled with pure lust and his plump bottom lip was wet and swollen from the heated kiss. Blinking a few times and panting lightly, Elijah slowly brought his libido under control. He grinned mischievously. 

“Your own fault,” he purred. “If you don’t want me to hump you, don’t lie on the bed...naked...begging to be devoured...”

Dominic smirked as Elijah’s voice became deeper and deeper and soft lips attached themselves to his neck.

“Hmm, naughty little minx...,” he murmured and closed his eyes when Elijah placed kisses all over his throat, his tongue licking the skin and his mouth sucking on it. Dominic’s hands slid back up Elijah’s spine to his head, the fingers tangling in the shaggy hair. It was amazing what the feeling of a rough tongue and wet lips on naked, heated skin could cause. Shivering and moaning quietly with pleasure, Dominic surrendered completely to Elijah’s foreplay. Elijah’s face was naturally smooth. Nothing would grow there, not a single tiny hair, at least not yet. So Dominic felt nothing but the caressing sensations of flawless, unbelievably soft skin against his. All the hobbits had to shave regularly for their roles, but still some light stubbles would be back on Dominic’s chin at the end of the day. Elijah didn’t seem to mind the scratching they caused during their kisses. 

Those greedy lips left Dominic’s neck all pleasured and wet as Elijah pulled himself away from that area. Dominic’s upper body was one of the parts that never failed to turn Elijah on just by looking at it. Tight muscles, delicious rough nipples, that hairline beneath his navel...Elijah leaned down again and began kissing that chest all over.

Dominic kept his eyes half-open, watching Elijah cherish his body like nobody had ever cherished it before. Only two months ago, Elijah had been a trembling, blushing virgin. Now he was greedy and forward and well on his way of becoming a seduction pro. Though he didn’t really have to do much to turn Dominic on. His mere presence, preferably in combination with little to no clothes, was all it took.

That rough yet soft tongue, the teeth that sometimes would scratch and nibble on his skin, those lips that were almost like perfect female lips...Elijah definitely knew how to give pleasure and giving it was just as arousing to him as receiving it was for Dominic whose breathing got faster as Elijah moved further and further down his body. Licking and kissing Dominic’s groin which was already lightly sweat-damp, Elijah felt a very hard cock press into his chest. His own body was tingling with excitement and he emitted a quiet moan.

Dominic bent his legs as he felt Elijah’s head between them and his slender fingers grasped a fistful of dark hair when his penis got surrounded by hot wetness. As much as he wanted to, Elijah could never swallow all of Dominic at once. Even when he wasn’t aroused, Dominic was very well-endowed and in a state of arousal he was literally breathtaking. So Elijah took as much of it into his mouth as he could and moved his lips up and down slowly, drawing low groans out of Dominic’s throat. Fingers clenched and unclenched in his tousled hair, his tongue lapping all sides of the hard shaft in his mouth.

“Ohh...baby...,” Dominic’s deep moans filled the room, along with the quiet lapping noises that Elijah created. Throwing his head to the side, Dominic struggled to keep himself from thrusting into that marvelous mouth. But when Elijah began touching his testicles and fondling them, it almost became too much.

“Fuck...so good...,” The hoarse panting that reached his ears turned Elijah even further on and he could already taste salty pre-cum leaking from the rigid, throbbing penis between his lips. It shouldn’t be over yet, he still needed Dominic’s wonderful hardness, but somehow it was difficult to pull himself away from it. It was like a delicious piece of candy that got better and better with each suck. And Dominic’s hand that was still tangled in his hair was obviously not willing to let him escape. Elijah twirled his tongue around the salty slit of the cock one last time and then lifted his head. Licking his lips which were damp and swollen from all the sucking, he looked down at Dominic’s panting body in front of him.

Dominic opened his eyes when he became aware of the cold air against his saliva coated penis. The small waves of pleasure that had began building in his groin remained weak, but his entire lower region cried out for more.

“Sorry...,” Elijah smirked, brushing his soft fingers against Dominic’s thighs. “Not yet...”

Dominic smirked back, despite his unsatisfied body. “You just love bloody torturing me...”

His eyes shifted from Elijah’s lightly flushed and glowing face down to his cock which looked as hard as his own. Before he could think about what to do with it, Elijah was on top of him again and their lips met in a deep kiss. It didn’t last as long as the first one though because Dominic placed his hands on Elijah’s buttocks and squeezed them over and over, causing Elijah to gasp and break the kiss. His cock slid against Dominic’s slick one, creating some delicious friction, and his body started to tremble with pleasure.

Raising his upper body, Elijah sat up and straddled his submissive lover. Dominic gazed at him in silent adoration, thoroughly enjoying the view of Elijah sitting on him like this. And when Elijah scooted a little further backwards until his butt came in contact with Dominic’s penis, his groin tingled at the prospect of what would follow. It was one of his favorite positions.

“Need lube?” Dominic panted, feeling his pulse rate already go up and he hadn’t even entered Elijah yet. He grabbed Elijah’s thighs and held on to them as Elijah shook his head and reached behind himself to take hold of Dominic’s cock. The saliva all over it was already drying, but it was still wet enough. Lifting his hips a little, Elijah positioned the shaft right below his buttocks. When he felt the tip of the cock between them, he let go of it and slowly lowered his hips, taking the penis in. A sharp intake of breath and a wriggle of his hips, then Dominic was inside him. Elijah exhaled heavily, not even realizing that he had been holding his breath. His hands kneaded Dominic’s stomach muscles while his body adjusted to the large, thick cock that was buried so deep in him. It was a nice position because he himself could determine how far he was penetrated. There was no thrusting, only rocking, so the cock was inside him the whole time which was simply mindblowing. 

Dominic bit his bottom lip forcefully, the pressure around his cock unbearable and unbearably arousing at the same time. He gripped Elijah’s heated thighs tightly, his tense fingers digging into the soft flesh, his narrowed eyes looking up at a very flushed face. And when Elijah began rocking his hips slowly, Dominic didn’t know how he was supposed to last more than five seconds. Elijah’s hard penis jutted out in front of him, sliding over Dominic’s abdomen as he kept on moving his hips, slowly, slowly, deeply absorbed in the act. Dominic wanted to hold it and squeeze it, but it looked too beautiful and the image of it rubbing against his lower belly was too sexy. And he was sure Elijah would take care of it. Elijah knew how much the sight of him stroking himself while he was being penetrated turned Dominic on. Gazing up into Elijah’s face, Dominic struggled to keep his eyes open. Watching Elijah rock, still slowly and leisurely, seeing how he got lost in his pleasure was something Dominic never wanted to miss out on. His panting and his low moaning mixed with Elijah’s and he briefly squeezed his eyes shut, relishing his tingling loin. His right hand let go of Elijah’s now very sweaty thigh and reached up, grasping the pillow above his head tightly.

Elijah’s moans came out in ragged breaths, his lips parted and his half-closed eyes focused on Dominic’s. Every rocking motion caused a passionate groan as his prostate was constantly nudged. His fingers still kneaded Dominic’s stomach muscles. Continuously he rocked against the pulsating cock deep inside him as the passion increased steadily. Throwing his head back, his eyes rolled back and he shut them tight. The pace of his moving hips got faster and so did his breathing.

“Ohh...Dommie...,” Elijah moaned huskily and grabbed his neglected penis which was rock-hard and leaking pre-cum. He squeezed it and rocked even faster. 

He didn’t know how it was possible, but Dominic could swear he became even harder at the view. His other hand buried itself in the pillow as well as the wave of his orgasm built up in his groin.

“Fuck...baby...yeah...,” he moaned and panted, watching Elijah ride him and wank rapidly at the same time. Wet strands of hair stuck to Elijah’s forehead and his mouth was wide open. Dominic couldn’t help himself anymore, he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his climax close. He came before Elijah did. His cock jerked inside the tight entrance and shot its seed into it, leaving Dominic panting heavily. He opened his eyes a crack, just in time to witness Elijah’s orgasm. 

Elijah kept on rocking and stroking for a few more seconds after he felt Dominic’s hot sticky fluid fill him up. Crying out loudly, his upper body tensed up and his hand stopped squeezing as his seed spurted out all over Dominic’s stomach. All movements ceased, except for Elijah’s rising and falling chest as he gasped air into his lungs. His whole body suddenly felt weak, spent and drained and he found it hard to remain sitting. His eyes blinked open and he looked down at Dominic who looked back at him in full satisfaction. Still gasping and trying to catch his breath, Elijah lowered himself down on top of Dominic, causing the now limp cock to slip out of him. Their heated, sweat-slick bodies pressed against each other, something Elijah and Dominic always loved after sex. Passion, ecstasy, release, coming down from the orgasm in each other’s arms. Dominic wrapped his arms around Elijah and stroked his moist back. Elijah’s head was tucked underneath his chin.

“Lijah...,” Dominic mumbled in an adoring tone. “Bloody hell...you’re unbelievable...”

Elijah smiled, feeling Dominic’s sticky, seed-covered belly against his. “You are...”

Moving his hand up to Elijah’s head, Dominic stroked the damp hair. “How can someone so innocent looking be such a turn-on?”

Finally Elijah had regained enough strength to lift his head. Soft fingers touched Dominic’s cheek as their eyes met. “Guess you corrupted me, irrevocably. Now you have to live with the consequences,” he grinned.

“Mmm...,” Dominic pulled Elijah’s face down for a kiss. “Shite and bollocks...”

It was a slow, lazy kiss, with gentle tongues sliding against each other and moist lips pressed together. Sighing softly into Dominic’s mouth, Elijah didn’t think he had ever been happier. At his young age he had found what many people were searching for all their lives. There would never be anyone else for him. He would never let this man go.

The kiss ended and they gazed at one another. Elijah brushed his fingers over Dominic’s chin, feeling the small stubbles under his fingertips.

“I love you so much...,” he whispered, his heart beating faster when Dominic smiled up at him.

“Love you too...you have no idea how much...”

One last kiss and their eyelids grew heavy. Elijah cuddled against Dominic’s side as Dominic covered them with the blanket and switched off the nightstand lamp. He didn’t have any nightmares about Elijah leaving him that night. And he hoped he would never have them again.

 

~**~

 

The first day of April was chilly. There was no doubt that autumn had come, with New Zealand facing the cold seasons after a pleasantly warm summer. A light wind was blowing around Peter Jackson’s brick and wood house at Seatown Beach in Wellington. The modest home was illuminated and rather crowded on this Saturday night as the director was throwing a party for the main cast, something he had wanted to do before his actors got to enjoy their three week filming break.

A familiar atmosphere surrounded the place, the cast and crew noticed everytime they visited it. It was like they were a part of the Jackson clan themselves. Peter didn’t show off anything. He was rich of course, but modest and with a down-to-earth lifestyle. Orlando and Viggo were standing in the garden, enjoying the fresh air and chatting about everything that came to their minds. Orlando held a strong fascination towards the older man. Viggo was like the broody, mysterious, yet effortlessly hilarious guy that you just couldn’t help but be fascinated with. Orlando had learnt a lot from him, concerning acting as well as life in general, and he admired him like he probably had never admired anyone before. And his various interests, from singing to writing poetry, made Viggo even more interesting. Their lively chat was interrupted as Liv joined them, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag.

“Livvie, Livvie,” Orlando shook his head and crossed his arms. “What are you doing to your beautiful self?”

“Oh, forget it,” she grinned and cuddles into her warm cardigan. “I’m as hopeless as Elijah. And it’s not like you are _never_ smoking.”

“Not nearly as much as you and I’m trying to quit. And at least Lij smokes those herbal sticks,” Orlando looked at Viggo. “Isn’t it just painful to watch?”

“Don’t look at me,” he chuckled in his usual soft voice and pulled a pack out of his pocket. “We’re all hopeless, I guess.”

“Hey cool, smokers round,” Elijah exclaimed in a high-pitched tone as he left the house through the backdoor and walked up to the others across the lawn. A clove was already dangling from the corner of his mouth.

Orlando emitted a dramatic sigh and looked pitifully around. “You really don’t make it very easy for me, you sodding addicts.”

“Still trying to quit?” Elijah asked as he lit his clove and exhaled the smoke. “I admire you. Good luck.”

Looking like he was fighting with himself, Orlando stared at the pack of cigarettes in Viggo’s hand. It was still open as Viggo had just pulled one out of it.

“Oh, buggering hell,” he mumbled and quickly grabbed one of the cigarettes that were lurking out of the pack so temptingly. Everyone giggled, but he just shrugged. “We’re having a party, so what?”

“Oh my God,” Elijah laughed after taking another drag. “Think about it, pretty much everyone smokes in Lord of the Rings. The hobbits, Aragorn, Gandalf...we’re setting such a bad example.”

“Blame it on Tolkien,” Orlando remarked.

“Like your wonderful haircut?” Viggo winked, causing Orlando to giggle out loud.

“Oh man, that interview bloke must have thought I was some punk freak,” he ran a hand through his mohawk.

“Oh right, you guys were interviewed today,” Elijah took a casual puff. “Exciting?”

“He wanted to know why I had this haircut, you know, ‘cause it’s so different from Legolas,” Orlando explained. “Told him it’s to lift the hairline for the wig, so I look more like a broad-faced elf.”

“And because it looks fucking cool,” Elijah grinned.

“That goes without saying.”

“It was really nice,” Liv said and brushed a dark strand of hair out of her face. “We had herbal tea in my trailer. I even told him that my boyfriend is coming to visit me soon,” she pulled a grimace and tapped the ash off her cigarette. “Don’t ask me why I told him that.”

“Hm-hmm...,” Orlando scratched his chin and looked at Elijah. “When’s your girlfriend visiting you, Lij? You must have one, such a pretty young bloke,” he chuckled.

Elijah was surprised about how calm he remained at that question. But then again, he had changed a lot during these past weeks and definitely for the better. A few months ago, he was sure he would have burst into stammering.

“Sorry to disappoint you, don’t have one,” he simply said. “But something much better. My sister’s coming in four weeks time.”

“Now that’s great news,” Viggo smiled gently and put his hand on Elijah’s shoulder. Elijah smiled happily back at him.

“Yeah, can’t wait,” he said. He also couldn’t wait for her to get to know Dominic. He was sure that they would get along well, yet he couldn’t help but feel a little nervous at the prospect of Dominic meeting a member of his family. And such a close member. Hannah had always been Elijah’s dearest confidante, they had always stuck together through the hardest of times. And now Elijah was about to introduce the man he loved to her. They had already talked on the phone, but seeing each other in person was a different matter. Yes, they would get along perfectly.

A few feet away from the chatting and giggling group, Dominic stepped up to the window that provided a view of the garden and the coastline behind it. He was holding a beer bottle in his hand and absentmindedly peeled off the label as he watched the others. Elijah was looking comfortable, really and truly comfortable. And happy. He didn’t look like someone carrying around a secret and that was what made Dominic happy himself. Elijah needed to be carefree, he needed to have fun. He deserved all the happiness in the world. They were on the right way. It could go on like this and Dominic would be perfectly fine with it. Having the relationship to themselves, no one knowing about it expect Billy, Liv and Sean, no one else. What they had felt even more special than it already was by keeping it a secret. No one would bother them with annoying questions, insisting to learn everything about something that was none of their business. Journalists, interviewers, gossip magazines, they all would poke around, asking intimate questions, inquiring about every private detail and calling it a gay scandal. No, it was good the way it was. This precious, cherished love Dominic shared with Elijah, it was just too special to have it discussed in the press. Dominic had made a silent promise some time ago. That he would always take care of Elijah, that he would always look after him and keep him safe from any harm, and to that he would stick.

Sighing softly, he stopped fumbling with the bottle label for a moment. Elijah laughed about something. Dominic smiled at the sight and actually thought he was falling even deeper in love that moment. If that was even possible.

“Hey, why so lifeless tonight?” The Scottish accent made Dominic turn around. He was still smiling. 

“Just enjoying the view. You sod, you distracted me!” he smirked and took a sip from his beer. 

Billy looked at what Dominic had been looking at, or rather staring at, in a deeply absorbed state of mind. Then he smirked as he noticed the certain sparkle in Dominic’s eyes. “And I suppose it’s not the beach view you were enjoying, hmm?”

Dominic mockingly raised his chin and snorted exaggeratedly. “I will not dignify that question with an answer.”

“Idiot,” Billy laughed, thoroughly happy to see his mate like this. Despite everything that had happened, Dominic had not lost his sense of humor, his wit and his infamous cheekiness. It all could have turned out so differently. Billy remembered how he had wiped Dominic off the floor, in the middle of shattered beer and whiskey bottles. And now here he was, looking just as much in love as he had before the big drama. Looking even more in love, actually. And Sean had tried to make amends with them. Billy had been relieved to hear that Sean had attempted a first step towards Dominic and Elijah. Sydney had been a fun visit, despite any prior fears. And Billy truly believed that Sean did deserve a second chance. They all did, in fact. The chance to start again. If they didn’t take that chance, they all would continue suffering in this.

“Come on, let’s join the fun out there,” Billy patted Dominic’s back.

“Hmm, I’m getting hungry again,” Dominic rubbed his rumbling belly. “I think I’ll get something to eat first. Will be right back.”

“As you wish,” Billy let go of him and opened the backdoor, stepping out into the garden.

Dominic turned around and took another gulp of beer. On his way to the kitchen he waved at Peter, Fran and Ian who were engrossed in a conversation.

He pushed the kitchen door open and his eyes fell on the large buffet. Peter was really the most generous party host ever. He certainly knew how to please his guests. When he looked up again, he noticed something else. Or rather, someone else. He immediately felt like someone had punched him into the stomach and his clutch on his beer bottle tightened.

“Hey,” Sean said with a striking serenity. He was holding a half-full plate in one hand and a fork in the other. 

Dominic couldn’t do anything but stare at him for a moment. This was the first time the two of them were alone since Dominic had confronted Sean violently. It was an almost unbearably awkward situation and suddenly Dominic didn’t feel hungry anymore. He considered turning around and leaving again, but that would have been useless. They were adults, for God’s sake.

“Hey,” Dominic said quietly and gazed at the table. What should he eat? So many delicious things he hadn’t tried yet. Bloody hell, get a grip, he told himself.

“That Maori bread is good,” he heard Sean say and looked at him again. “Or those Tararua Biscuits and the chicken wings.”

Dominic tried to read in Sean’s eyes what he was thinking. What was that look he gave him? What was his intention? Was he plotting something again? But he had apologized. He had come to them on his own and he had apologized. Unfortunately Dominic wasn’t able to read Sean as he could read Elijah. Inwardly he cursed and struggled against the resistance that was threatening to take control over him. After all Dominic did want to talk to Sean. He still had to talk to him, they desperately needed to talk, just the two them. Right here and now? Well, there was no use postponing it any longer. The sooner they got it over with, the sooner they all could go on. Hopefully as friends. Kicking his own ass mentally, Dominic put the bottle on the table and folded his arms in front of his chest. Sean looked at him expectantly. Dominic had to clear his throat before he was able to say anything.

“I think we need to talk.”

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

“You’re right,” Sean said solemnly and nodded. “We need to talk.”

Dominic fixated him with narrowed eyes. How he had dreaded this moment. How he had tried to avoid it. But not anymore. He had convinced himself that he was the reasonable one here. Though he could understand Sean. Or he thought he could. Gazing briefly at the door, Dominic took a deep breath.

“Not here. Outside.”

Sean just nodded again and followed Dominic out of the kitchen and through the hallway. Peter, Fran and Ian were still absorbed in their conversation. Dominic opened the front door and when they were both standing in the driveway, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. His fingers touched the clove he had gotten from Elijah earlier. This was the only bad thing about meeting Elijah. Dominic had quit fighting the growing urge he had felt for some time now and rediscovered his taste for cigarettes. Though he didn’t smoke nearly as much as Elijah did.

Exhaling heavily, Dominic shrugged and shook his head. “I really don’t know where to start...”

“But I do,” Sean said and stepped forward. “I know you hate me and I can’t say I blame you. You probably think I acted out of pure malice, but believe me, that’s not true...”

“I don’t think that,” Dominic interrupted him and looked to the ground. “At least not anymore. To tell the truth, I actually think you and I have very similar intentions when it comes to Elijah...similar yet different feelings...”

Sean gasped at that and stared at him with a defensive look. “What are you talking about?” he inquired in a rough tone. “I told you I’m not gay, don’t be ridiculous!”

“Hey hey,” Dominic quickly raised his hands to stop any further escalation. “I didn’t say that. If you please let me explain?”

Sean’s appearance got a little softer and his shoulders sagged lightly. “Fine. Go on,” he said, rubbing his forehead.

Scratching the back of his head, Dominic searched for the right words. This was definitely as difficult as he had expected. He just hoped that it wouldn’t all get out of hand again.

“What I mean is,” he continued slowly, making sure every word came out as clearly as possible. “Both of us care about Elijah. You want to protect him from whatever may happen to him if it gets public that he’s gay. But what you did was not okay. It was pretty much bloody crappy. You should have come to us and talked to us, not just grab Elijah by himself and then fuck with his head...”

Dominic was a bit surprised when Sean didn’t interrupt him. In fact, he was just standing there, arms crossed and listening intently.

“However,” Dominic went on, still deliberately slowly. “The point is, you care about him as a friend. You’re somehow obsessed with looking after him. You have huge safety issues that you apply to everyone you care about. But I care about Elijah too, Sean. I love him more than anyone or anything and I wanna be there for him. I would never do anything that could hurt him. But I also let him make his own decisions. That’s what loving someone means, too, but I don’t think I have to tell you that. Elijah is a mature and reasonable young man, he’s not a boy anymore, so please stop treating him like one. Give him some space and let him make up his own mind. I can only tell you that he’s in the best hands with me. I would do anything for him, really fucking anything. He means so damn much to me, you’ll never know...”

Feeling himself getting lightly overly emotional, Dominic trailed off and ran a hand through his hair. It was always weird talking to someone else about his feelings for Elijah. Billy would always listen with a smile on his face whenever Dominic got carried away. He hadn’t talked with Liv about it yet, but with his brother when he was on the phone. And then there was his diary of course. Page after page full of his wonderful Elijah. Sometimes Dominic would start an entry about his day, about filming and scenes and fun and trouble, but he always found a way to mention Elijah somehow. And more often than not he would lose himself in his emotions. Now Sean was standing in front of him, listening to him and his feelings. The very same man who had tried to break them apart. Only there was no wickedness in his eyes now. Dominic pulled the clove out of his pocket, along with a lighter, and lit the stick.

“Dom...,” Sean sighed. He had focused on Dominic the whole time, taking in the words and understanding them. He would be a complete fool if he wasn’t able to see how much Dominic loved Elijah. Sean knew what being in love felt like and how you behaved when you found the one person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Yet Dominic looked different, a special kind of love-struck. There was an aura around him that was unmistakable. 

“I really don’t doubt that you love Elijah,” Sean said quietly and moved further towards Dominic. “It never bothered me because you’re guys. I already told you I have absolutely nothing against gays. And believe me or not, I do like you, Dom. I know I treated you pretty much like shit and it wasn’t fair. Elijah is crazy about you. If the others can’t see it, they must be blind. I admit you put me off at the beginning. I mean...you’re so different. You’re like the total opposite of me. Elijah got so fascinated by you from the very first day on and I couldn’t compete with that. And the more you pulled him towards you...and when I found out that you’re really together...I just...I don’t know...I saw you as danger. I saw Elijah in danger and everything else as well. The movie, the others...I just went numb...”

Dominic eyed him closely while he was puffing his clove. Sean did seem genuine and everything he said made sense. Though Dominic would have acted differently, but that was another thing. It didn’t matter, not anymore. It was over, in the past, and Dominic had sworn to Elijah and to himself that they would keep it in the past and move on. Exhaling the smoke and dropping the hand that was holding the clove, he nodded.

“I know,” he said. He gazed at Sean who looked like he was desperately wishing for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He looked like a pitiful pile of misery.

“I’m sorry about everything,” Sean mumbled sadly.

“Yeah,” Dominic took a final drag, then dropped the clove and stubbed it out with his foot. “Me too.”

Sean wanted to say something else, but he didn’t quite know how. He buried his sweaty hands in his pockets and looked down. His heart was pounding quickly.

“Are we...I mean...are we okay again?”

Dominic scratched his stubbly chin. He was still fighting with himself, but deep inside he knew what the right answer was. Forget about it. Let it go. Move on and live your life. With Elijah.

“Yeah,” he said at last and Sean exhaled audibly.

“Could we start all over and try to be friends again?”

The intense gaze Dominic gave him left Sean a little unsure. He knew it was probably a lot to ask of Dominic, but he hoped he would at least contemplate the question. Dominic’s eyes could be penetrating sometimes and not always in a pleasant way. So, when he finally answered after what felt like an eternity of silence, a wave of relief and gratitude washed over Sean.

“Yeah. I think that would be best.”

Dominic wondered if he should bring up the punches, but decided against it. Maybe he would regret them some day, but right now he didn’t. Sean and he had reached a very important point though. Communication and forgiveness. And that was all they could expect from a first conversation.

Nodding and forming a small smile, Sean moved to stand directly in front of Dominic. “Thanks,” he said.

Dominic didn’t smile back. They were back at the beginning, but he needed more time to get there mentally. He would get there, he knew himself, but at the moment he thought agreeing to forgive, forget and move on was all he could do. He simply nodded, but before he realized it, Sean had wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you,” Sean said again, his voice shaking. Dominic didn’t return the embrace right away. He felt Sean’s hand patting his back lightly and wondered what to do. The voice inside his head took control again. Let it go. Get over it. Go on.

Slowly and hesitantly, Dominic raised his arms and hugged Sean back. The embrace didn’t last long, but long enough for both of them.

“Dom?” The mere sound of the voice made Dominic’s heart beat faster and put a smile on his face at last. The front-door opened and closed and then footsteps came closer. 

“Here you are! What...,” Elijah frowned as he approached the driveway and noticed that Dominic wasn’t alone. Sean and Dominic, in the same place, all by themselves, was something Elijah was not used to seeing. Let alone seeing them obviously not in a fight, but actually standing quietly next to each other. 

“Hey,” he said and looked from Dominic to Sean and back at Dominic. “Everything okay?”

“Hey Lij,” Sean smiled softly and turned to Dominic one last time. “I leave you two alone. See you inside.”

And with that he made his way back into the house which was full of party noise now. Peter had finally put some music on. Elijah watched Sean leave before looking at Dominic again with slightly concerned eyes.

“What were you doing out here? No trouble, I hope...”

Dominic smiled and put his arm around Elijah’s shoulder. “No, don’t worry,” he said, brushing his lips against Elijah’s forehead. “On the contrary. I’ll tell you everything when we’re home, okay?”

Elijah smiled up at him, his eyes now shining with happiness. He could feel how Dominic got less tense and more relaxed. He must have had a serious talk with Sean and one that had left him with a freer and more peaceful mind.

“Okay.”

He let Dominic pull him into a darker corner and then their lips were pressed against each other. Elijah’s arms encircled Dominic’s upper body while long, slender fingers touched his face. The kiss was deep but soft, with lips slowly moving and tongue twirling around tongue. It was always like this when they were out with their friends. They would find an opportunity for a kiss in secrecy every time. Otherwise it would be pure torture. Hugging was okay, also the occasional arm around the other one’s shoulder. But no kisses of course. It was dreadful, but they had learnt how to deal with it as well as possible. The kiss ended, but Dominic kept holding Elijah against his chest, simply savoring his presence.

“I love you, Lijah....,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” a whispered reply. 

They stood like this for some time until the chilly evening air urged them back into the house. It was time to go. Time to go on.

 

~**~

 

It was difficult to describe for Elijah what he was feeling when he unlocked the cottage door and looked into the house. Nostalgia? That was nonsense. It had only been about four months since they had last been here. Relief? Definitely one of his emotions. No work for the next three weeks, no separation, no getting up early in the morning. But the strongest feeling was joy. Bliss. Pure and utter happiness. Te Anau, the place where everything had started. Where they had gotten together and where they had spent the best time of their lives so far. The place where they had kissed for the very first time nearly half a year ago. It sounded forever to Elijah. But it was nothing compared to what lay ahead of them. This was just the beginning. Opening the door wide, Elijah turned around again and moved back to the rental car where Dominic was busy removing their luggage from the trunk.

“Everything’s just as we left it,” Elijah announced and grabbed his suitcase, along with an extra bag that contained his CD collection. 

“I wish the weather was still as we left it,” Dominic snorted, closing the trunk and carrying his suitcase towards the front door.

“Hey, we’re gonna heat this place up with our mere presence, remember?” Elijah giggled as he followed Dominic into the cottage where he dropped his stuff on the living-room floor. 

“Mmm...,” Dominic placed his bag right next to Elijah’s and eyed him up and down. “It’s already getting hot in here,” he smirked.

“Patience, Monaghan,” Elijah told him teasingly. “It’s fucking stuffy in here. We need some air first of all.”

Walking over to the window, Elijah opened it and took a deep breath as a gust of cool wind blew into the room. His eyes got immediately caught by the stunning view, just as they had when he had seen it for the first time. The small grassy garden area, the path that led down to the shore and then the breathtaking lake with the snow-covered mountains in the background. For a moment he forgot everything around him as the memories whirled around in his head. The afternoon with Dominic down at the lake back in November, their little picnic and then the kiss. The long drive here on Dominic’s birthday in December and their first intimate get together on the bed. Their return to the cottage in January before principal photography continued. Peace, tranquility, their little home, just the two of them. Their beautiful first time which would be branded forever in Elijah’s memory. The boat trip on the lake. And now they were here again, ready to create new memories. Only them, no one else. They could be who they were and they didn’t have to hide anything. There was nothing that could harm them here. Elijah’s eyes were glued to a spot in the distance as he felt something warm press against his back. He smiled.

“So beautiful, isn’t it?” he said with an awe-struck voice and leaned back against the strong chest behind him.

 

Dominic lifted his arms and brought them around Elijah’s neck, pulling him close. “Really beautiful,” he murmured into Elijah’s ear and placed a kiss on his cheek. “And the view isn’t bad either.”

Elijah could feel himself blush deeply and shook his head. Dominic never failed to make him blush like a little schoolgirl. In fact, everytime he got a compliment, Elijah felt a warmth flow through him and over him that covered him like a fluffy blanket. And this time was no different. His hands took hold of Dominic’s lower arms just below his chin.

“Too bad it’s getting colder,” he sighed, but the smile lingered on his face. He had felt like nothing but smiling ever since they had turned onto the countrylane that led to the cottage behind the trees. “We can’t go swimming anymore.”

“Oh, we could,” Dominic chuckled quietly, tightening the hold of his arms around Elijah. “But we shouldn’t, if we wanna keep certain body parts.”

The strong warmth against his back felt too good, yet Elijah needed to turn around, so he did. Dominic didn’t release his tight hold, he just waited for Elijah to press himself against his chest before wrapping his arms around his slender body.

“But there are so many other things we can do,” he said, his fingers stroking up and down Elijah’s clad spine. They were both looking out the window, at the deep blue lake, the mountains and the clouds in the sky. This place had such a calming effect, it was amazing. “I still gotta take you out for dinner. A completely innocently looking dinner of course,” he snorted.

Elijah grinned, his cheek against Dominic’s shoulder. “Awww, no candle light and no roses on the table?”

“Mmm...we could do the candle light and roses part here, and the eating part outside,” Dominic suggested, actually thinking this was a very good idea. “I’m an expert at arranging a romantic atmosphere.”

Looking up and still smiling, Elijah pressed his lips against Dominic’s for a brief kiss. “Oh yeah, you are. We could also do another boat trip. But this time with a row boat.”

“We definitely gotta explore the area some more,” Dominic claimed Elijah’s lips for another kiss which lasted a little longer than the first one.

“Hanging around lazily...,” Elijah looked dreamily into Dominic’s eyes, momentarily nothing but this wonderful man on his mind. They had three weeks, three lovely, romantic, exciting, peaceful, secluded and awesome weeks ahead of them. Could it get any better?

“Taking photos of my beautiful baby in the middle of the beautiful landscape...,” Dominic’s heart jumped at the prospect of the days that were to come. It would be even harder to go back to filming this time than it had been the last time, but it would be so worth it. They would enjoy their time here to the fullest. It would last until the rest of the year and all the times they would yet have to part. They would have so many new memories to hang on to that would help them get through the days on set when they could not be together. 

“Hmm...Dommie?” Elijah’s eyes were glistening with that particular spark that made them even more beautiful than they already were. “I really want a house here. You too?”

Dominic’s smile widened. “Sure I do,” he said and kissed Elijah’s plump lips once more. “And we’ll have one. What better place could there be than this one, hmm?”

Cradling Elijah slightly in his arms, he found himself drowning in those mesmerizing blue orbs for the thousandth time. The look of pure and utter happiness in them was all Dominic needed to know he was indeed worthy of being with this lovely man. He had his doubts sometimes, but that was probably because his love for Elijah almost bordered on worshiping. He loved Elijah and he loved making him happy. He loved seeing him happy. It was all he needed to be happy himself.

“That’s gonna be so fucking cool,” Elijah said in a dreamy tone, sagging a little in Dominic’s arms. The position was just too comfortable and the body he was pressed against too warm and cozy.

“But we better wait and see if the movies become a success. Let’s see what we can afford then or if they give us smaller paychecks after all,” Dominic chuckled and held Elijah even more tightly against him as he lifted him a little off the floor.

Elijah giggled softly and encircled Dominic’s neck with his arms. “You’re scared we may not get paid enough after all?” he winked and placed another kiss on Dominic’s mouth. His feet were hanging in the air above the living-room carpet.

“Hey, I’m not used to having as much money as you, Mister Moviestar,” Dominic snickered as he stepped away from the window and twirled Elijah around in his arms a few times. Elijah giggled loudly, the sound of it like music in Dominic’s ears. When Dominic stood still again, Elijah wrapped his legs around his waist, obviously not willing to pull away yet. They kissed again, not just briefly but a long and sensual kiss. Closing his eyes, Dominic vaguely remembered where the couch was and slowly moved towards it. His legs bumped against it and he sat down, Elijah still firmly against and around his body. When Elijah pulled away to catch his breath, Dominic couldn’t help but grin at him. He loved talking about the future. For once it looked bright and not threatened anymore.

“Well, since your salary is much bigger than mine, we should discuss who pays how much.”

Elijah smiled happily, glad that the subject wasn’t dropped yet. “I already did some research actually and...”

“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?” Dominic interrupted with a grin.

“Because the sooner the better,” Elijah giggled, straddling Dominic’s thighs and settling down in his lap. “We can get a proper house for about 100,000 dollars already.”

Dominic whistled through his teeth. “That’s really not that much. Unless we want a mansion or something.”

“We don’t want a mansion. Not even Pete’s got a mansion and he’s probably the richest guy in New Zealand,” Elijah pointed out.

“Yeah, mansions are bollocks anyway,” Dominic took a look around the living-room. It wasn’t too small and it wasn’t too big. Just right. It was cozy and inviting and you didn’t have the feeling that you would get totally lost. Dominic couldn’t even imagine living in a big villa. Even if he could afford it one day, he doubted he would get one. He didn’t want to own a house that had too many rooms to count them all. He wanted a home, not a show-off place. A home. With Elijah.

“A house like this would be perfect,” he said and looked at Elijah again. “And I’ll carry you over the threshold,” he added with a giggle.

“Like your bride or what?” Elijah laughed and Dominic shrugged.

“Hey, who knows. Maybe, one day?”

The expression on Elijah’s face changed from amused to puzzled. Frowning and leaning back a little, his hands came to rest on Dominic’s shoulders as he stared at him. A few silent seconds passed before Elijah spoke again.

“Are you serious?” he asked in a disbelieving tone. He couldn’t imagine. 

“Oh Lij, come on,” Dominic brushed a strand of hair behind Elijah’s ear. “Let’s not think that far ahead. We’re just fooling around. Though I think something might change in the film biz if America quits the sodding discrimination.”

Cocking his head and chewing on his bottom lip, Elijah contemplated for a moment. He hadn’t expected this subject to come up so soon, though he had thought about it sometimes.

“Dom...,” he began quietly. “No matter how tolerant America will be one day, Hollywood won’t be.”

“What makes you so sure?” Dominic wanted to know and let go of Elijah’s hair strand that he had played with. 

“If the government gives gay people certain rights, then why can’t Hollywood finally leave the Middle Ages as well?”

“It’s all about making money, Dom. It’s about selling a product. And the audience is all over the world. The USA isn’t the only narrow-minded country. As long as homophobia is a worldwide problem, nothing will change.”

“Well maybe yes,” Dominic said, growing more and more confident. It was probably crazy talking about it right now, but the issue had raised his interest. He himself could judge America only from a European’s point of view and that one was not really the most positive one. 

“Isn’t America supposed to be the superpower number one? If they give gays essential civil rights, they would set a good example for the rest of the world and others would see that gay hate is shite.”

Elijah formed a small smile and sighed quietly. “Yeah,  _if_ . Seriously Dom, not America. It’s more likely that we’ll have a black President one day than an actual legalization of gay marriage. Which means never ever,” he chuckled and shook his head.

“You know me, I’m an optimist,” Dominic smiled back and grabbed one of Elijah’s hands that lay on his shoulders. Their fingers intertwined and Elijah stared at them, lost in his thoughts for a moment. It was crazy, absolutely crazy. Probably most of all because they were talking about it at such an early stage in their relationship.

“Dom?” he said after a while and gazed from their fingers into Dominic’s eyes. Devotion and love sparkled in them, but also a tinge of sadness, regret even. 

“Do you...I mean...would you really...if you could...?” God damnit, what was wrong with him? A lump built inside his throat and he couldn’t go on. He suddenly felt very emotional and melancholy. His heart began to race as Dominic tilted his head to the side and lifted Elijah’s hand to place a soft kiss on the palm.

“I would do a lot of things if I could, Lijah,” he smiled at him and softly stroked his fingers. 

“If I could, I would take you and shag you right in the middle of the bloody Walk of Fame for everyone to see and show them the finger afterwards. But you’re right. It’s ridiculous and something we can only ever dream of. But we’re still young, baby. We’ve got everything ahead of us. Let’s enjoy what we have right now and not moan about what we can’t have. As for me, I have everything I ever wished for and so much more. It can’t get any better. I’m sorry I can’t give you everything you deserve, Elijah. You deserve so much more than this. But I will do anything, fucking anything, to make it up to you and to make you happy.”

Elijah frantically shook his head and placed the forefinger of his free hand on Dominic’s lips. “No no no, don’t talk like that,” he stated firmly. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been, Dom. I can’t even imagine what I would do without you. It’s just...it’s so touching that you would...if you could...”

“Now, why wouldn’t I?” Dominic kissed one of Elijah’s knuckles as he looked at him seriously. “Why wouldn’t I marry the person I love with all my heart and soul if I could?”

Blinking and swallowing hard, Elijah reached up and quickly wiped at his eye. He felt a wetness there and he couldn’t help it.

“Fuck,” he murmured and shook his head at himself. “And you think you don’t make me happy enough? Look at me...,” he smiled and wiped at his other eye as well. 

“Oh baby,” Dominic cupped Elijah’s face gently with his hands and pulled him close for a soft kiss. Their foreheads came to rest against each other, Dominic’s fingers stroking Elijah’s pale cheeks.

“We’ve only just begun and there’s still so much to come. We’re together. You have me and I have you and that’s all that matters. We’re gonna buy a beautiful house here when we’re finished with filming and then we’ll see how we go on from then. But right now we’re here and it’s perfect the way it is. Let’s focus on the nice things only, okay?”

Elijah wrapped his arms tightly around Dominic’s neck and nodded. The wetness slowly disappeared from his eyes and was replaced by that special spark and glow that fascinated Dominic each and every time he could see it in those incredibly blue orbs. Then that disappeared as well, but only because Elijah closed his eyes before pressing his lips against Dominic’s for a deep kiss.

It was all he would ever need and want.

 


	28. Chapter 28

The square, golden brown cookies had finally cooled down and Dominic picked one up to examine it from all sides. Holding it against the kitchen window and the bright light, he grinned, completely satisfied. Then he put it back to the other cookies, grabbed a big plastic bag and shoved the entire pile into it.

“Are they finished?” Elijah hurried into the kitchen, trying to catch a glimpse at the cookies before they disappeared inside the bag. “Show!”

Dominic grinned as he held one little cookie in front of Elijah’s nose. 

“Square, practical, good, as the Germans would say.” He quickly put it into the bag when Elijah’s eyes widened and he licked his lips.

“Pleeease, just one,” Elijah begged, protruding his bottom lip in an adorably pouting gesture.

“Nope,” Dominic shook his head and tied the bag up. “You know it, not before we’re there.”

“But I gotta test at least one cookie first,” Elijah insisted, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side with a grin. “How else do we know they’re good?”

“Hey, I totally stuck to Sala’s recipe, of course they’re good!” Dominic exclaimed and chuckled as Elijah repeated his pouting. 

“Aww, you’re so cute when you do that,” he leaned in and caught Elijah’s plump bottom lip between his teeth before giving him a proper kiss. He had spent the past one and a half hours in the kitchen, making New Zealand Tararua biscuits. He had been given the recipe by Sala Baker, a Samoan and New Zealand native, stuntman and actor who had been given the role of Sauron as well as some Orcs after doing stunt work. Dominic and Elijah had become friends with him and therefore learnt a lot more about the Kiwi culture. Dominic had banned Elijah from the kitchen several times as he wanted the final result to be a surprise and keep it for their little trip today. 

“And you’re mean,” Elijah mumbled against Dominic’s lips, but smiled nonetheless.

Pulling back and laughing, Dominic shook his head. “You’re more impatient than a little kid sometimes, Lij.”

“Bite me,” Elijah giggled and laughed out loud when Dominic actually began to nibble on his neck.

“Hey, anything you wish,” Dominic feigned innocence. “And by the way, it’s biscuits.”

“Cookies!”

“Biscuits!”

“Cookies!

“Biscuits! Admit it, or you won’t get any at all,” Dominic smirked.

Elijah quickly raised his hands in defeat and bit his lip. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Good,” Dominic kissed him once more. “Now, the sooner we leave, the sooner we get there.”

“Yay!” Elijah turned around and left the kitchen. Dominic waited until he was out of sight before pulling away a towel which covered something on the counter. He smiled as he picked up the scones he had made as well and put them into a cookie box. That should help bring up some memories. Then he grabbed the basket from the kitchen table, packed the plastic bag into it, along with the box, and draped the towel over everything. Nodding contently, he took the basket and joined Elijah in the living-room.

“Ready?”

“Yep,” Elijah was just putting on his jacket and zipping it up. Moving over to the couch, he threw the blanket that lay there over his shoulder and shoved his clove pack into the pocket of his jacket.

Dominic put the basket on the floor to slip into his own jacket. He smiled at Elijah who looked very happy and excited.

“You sure you can find the spot again?” Elijah asked and opened the backdoor. 

“You bloody bet, I am,” Dominic took the basket and followed him, locking the door from the outside. His free hand took hold of Elijah’s as they slowly walked across the grass area to the path that led down to the lake. Being outside and holding hands. It was such a simple gesture, no big deal for straight couples, but it meant so much to Dominic and Elijah. Naturally they didn’t get to do it very often. Hardly ever, to be exact, but in this secluded place they could do whatever they wanted without any judging glances. 

When they reached the shoreline, Elijah grinned from ear to ear. “It’s so cool that you managed to organize it,” he said as he looked at the rowboat that lay half in the water and half ashore in order not to float away.

“It’s more romantic than a speedboat, isn’t it?” Dominic set the basket down on the stony shore and shoved the boat into the water. 

“We get to enjoy the landscape more,” Elijah tossed the blanket into the boat and jumped aboard so Dominic could hand him the basket and get in as well. His jump caused the boat to float a few feet away from the shore.

“Hey, wouldn’t it be more fun if you take an oar and I take one, so we have to work together to get into the right direction?” Dominic chuckled and rubbed his hands together.

“Awww,” Elijah mock-pouted. “And here I was thinking you would row me around while I lean back and enjoy the view.”

“I’ll do that when we return,” Dominic smiled and sat down on the wooden bench. “If we end up in some creepy place, I’ll take the blame.”

“Deal!” Elijah sat down next to him and grabbed the oar that was on his side. Dominic reached for the other one and grinned brightly at Elijah.

“This is gonna be ace, baby!” he beamed as the flat blade dipped into the water. 

“Who’s like a little kid here, huh?” Elijah laughed and shrieked as Dominic splashed some water at him. 

Steering the boat didn’t turn out to be that difficult. At first they simply had to row straight ahead, so they found a regular, slow rhythm in which they moved the paddles. On the left, the stony shoreline became smaller and smaller until there was nothing but a thin line left. But the right side offered the really breathtaking view. The steep and crenelated western Fiordland coast with the tree covered rolling hills and behind them the Kepler and Murchison Mountain ranges with the white peaks. It was a cold but sunny day, so the water below the coastline was sparkling, adding to the beauty of the landscape. Dominic and Elijah kept on rowing almost automatically now as they studied their surroundings in utter awe. There were no sounds except for the birds and the splashing noise of the paddles in the water. A sailboat was drifting in the distance, but that was the only other object on the lake.

Elijah stopped rowing for a moment and just stared ahead. “Looks like someone dipped the peaks into icing sugar, doesn’t it?” he remarked as he pointed at the mountains, his voice sounding loud as it broke the serene silence.

Dominic laughed and shook his head. “Is food all you’re thinking about?”

“If you had given me a cookie, then maybe not,” Elijah snorted and giggled as Dominic playfully rolled his eyes.

“Well, you won’t have to wait much longer. I have a feeling that we’re very close,” Dominic turned around and shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand as he examined the shoreline on his left. “Mmm, maybe a little further.”

Grabbing the oar again, he continued rowing and Elijah did the same on his side. Dominic kept his head turned as his narrowed eyes searched the area for what he was looking for. After a few more minutes, his face lit up and a bright smile appeared on his face.

“There it is!” he shouted and pointed at a spot on the shore. Jerking his head back around, he grinned at Elijah. “Told you, it’s not that far.”

“Wow, that’s so cool,” Elijah’s eyes widened as he followed Dominic’s gaze. “I can’t believe we found it again!” he said happily and steered the boat towards the shore. Dominic waited until they had turned enough, then he rowed on his side and together they slowly approached the shore. But it wasn’t an ordinary shore. This one was special.

When they were merely a few feet away from the small sandy shore area, the boat suddenly stopped with a jerk.

“Oh-oh,” Dominic pulled a grimace. “We ran aground.”

“Ah shit. Guess that means we’ve got to wade. Fuck, that’s gonna be fucking freezing,” Elijah stood up and grasped the blanket, but Dominic stopped him.

“Oh no,” he shook his head firmly. “We won’t.”

“And how exactly are we supposed to get over there? Flying?” Elijah raised his eyebrows, grinning amused. He watched as Dominic unlaced his shoes and took them off. Then he pulled off his socks as well and stuffed them into the shoes which he tossed onto the shore. 

Dominic turned to him with a wide smile and reached out his arms. “Take the basket and the blanket. I’ll carry you.”

“What?” Elijah laughed out loud, but actually couldn’t quite believe his ears. “Dom! That’s not fair. Why should you be the only one to suffer?”

“Because I don’t want you to freeze your beautiful feet off,” Dominic replied with a wink, grabbing the items and handing them to Elijah. “Any resistance is useless.”

Staring at Dominic for a moment, Elijah wanted to protest nonetheless, but he knew it would be futile. If Dominic had gotten something into his head, he would stick to it. So he simply shook his head and chuckled in disbelief.

“You’re fucking crazy,” he chuckled, and Dominic’s grin widened even more as he reached down and rolled up his jeans to the knees.

“I know! Come on, baby. Think about the biscuits,” he said and held on to the edge of the boat as he first placed one foot into the water and then the other. His sharp intake of breath and his clenched teeth indicated that it was indeed freezing.

“Bloody fucking hell!” he cursed and Elijah quickly threw the blanket over his shoulder and rushed over to Dominic who lifted him out of the boat, one arm tucked under the knees and one around the upper body. Wrapping his arm tightly around Dominic’s neck, Elijah clutched the basket in his free hand.

“And I thought living in England got me used to icy temperatures,” Dominic tried to joke, his entire lower legs in the water.

“You’re really fucking crazy!” Elijah repeated and was relieved when they were almost there. “And you’re spoiling me rotten, that’s not good.”

Chuckling through his clenched teeth, Dominic set Elijah on the sand before wading out of the water himself. Elijah immediately dried Dominic’s legs and feet with the blanket as Dominic sat down, looking at his lightly red skin. 

“Ah, that was romantic,” Dominic grinned at Elijah who looked up at him, still busy with drying the feet and rubbing them firmly to get them warm again.

“It sort of was,” Elijah snorted and reached for Dominic’s shoes. “You never cease to amaze me,” he added with a quiet chuckle.

“Mmm...neither do you,” Dominic said softly and Elijah caught himself blushing. When Dominic had put his socks and shoes back on, Elijah took his hand and pulled him up.

Here they were again. At the bottom of the little incline they had climbed down five months before to wade into the water. And on top of the incline there was the special spot. The grassy place where they had kissed for the very first time. Not far away from their cottage. It felt to Elijah like that kiss was forever ago. So much had happened since then. Horrible things, but also so many wonderful, unforgettable memories. His relationship with Dominic was flourishing and growing stronger every day. They were in the middle of principal photography and everything was going perfectly. Elijah was no longer dreading to shoot scenes with Sean alone. He was beyond happy that they had managed to sort everything out and that Sean was no longer working against them. Sean had finally realized that Dominic and Elijah were already facing enough threats from the outside. What they didn’t need were even more threats from the inside. Elijah firmly believed that they all could become friends again, no matter how different they were and what conflicts they had had. They were all in this together.

“Okay, one more hurdle,” Dominic placed his hands on top of the incline and pulled himself up onto the grass. Elijah handed him the basket and the blanket and then Dominic helped him up. Just like he had done back then. A huge smile spreading across his face, Elijah came to stand face to face with Dominic who had set the items on the ground. Looking into Dominic’s loving eyes, Elijah emitted a quiet sigh and his heart began to flutter heavily. It was strange comparing the situations and the circumstances. So much fear, hesitation and equally strong longing and craving back then. And now, they were utterly free. No conflicting voices in their heads telling them how wrong this was. But the attraction was still intense, maybe even more intense than it had been before. Elijah’s mind was at peace and he didn’t fight his own self anymore. He had grown comfortable with himself and that feeling was reflected in his eyes.

Dominic reached up and ran his hand through the hair at the side of Elijah’s head as he kept staring into those glowing, blue orbs. His mind went back to the moment they had first got here. After they had parked the car and simply admired the scenery in front of them. Dominic’s eyes had moved away from the landscape and set on Elijah’s profile instead. That perfect profile with that stunning nature background. Dominic was now sure he had made the unconscious decision in that very moment. The decision to kiss Elijah that day. In that very place. There had been no other option. And when Elijah had come to stand right in front of him after Dominic had pulled him up the incline, it had been clear that there was no going back.

“Here we are again, baby,” Dominic’s voice was merely above a whisper while his hand kept stroking Elijah’s hair.

“Here we are,” Elijah’s hand traveled up Dominic’s covered arms as the space between their faces got smaller and smaller. It was crazy. Almost like right before their very first kiss. When their mouths finally met, it did feel different though. After all they had kissed a lot after that first kiss, so there was no initial shock and no brief hesitation anymore. This time it was a pure and utter conveyance of emotions without any boundaries. Dominic’s tongue dived into Elijah’s mouth and roamed the warm cavern, his hands cupping that wonderfully smooth face and stroking it lightly. A slow, gentle, consuming kiss. When it ended, there was no fear in Elijah’s eyes this time. Only love and adoration. Dominic kissed those smiling lips once more and then pulled Elijah against his chest, holding him tightly against his body and looking out across the lake with him. There was no one else in this area, not one single little boat on the water. It felt like they were the only two people on earth out here.

Elijah’s arms encircled Dominic’s waist as he looked into the distance. “Mmm...this is romantic too,” he sighed in an utterly content tone.

Dominic smiled. “I suppose there’s no danger of running out of romantic ideas. Just like we promised each other.”

“We’re gonna be so fed up with romance when we leave here,” Elijah chuckled and looked up at Dominic again. He leaned against him and pulled him into another kiss.

“Hmmm...still hungry?” Dominic mumbled against Elijah’s lips.

“Cookies!” Elijah smiled as he withdrew and looked at the basket with the towel covering the food.

“Biscuits,” Dominic laughed and bent down to pick up the blanket and spread it across the grass, mindful that the wet part was out of the way. Elijah eagerly removed the towel and took the bag.

“Yummy,” he licked his lips and lowered himself on the blanket, positioning the basket in front of him. Dominic sat down next to him and crossed his legs, grinning as Elijah frowned at the box that was also in the basket.

“What’s this, more cookies?” Elijah asked amused and opened the box. “Scones!”

Dominic laughed again at Elijah’s adorable reaction. The little things in life were often those that made you the happiest.

“Well, I thought I’d bring something else here to revive the good old times.”

“Mmm...,” Elijah was already busy with opening the bag. He grabbed a square cookie and looked at it. “First impression: not bad at all.”

“Careful, they’re said to be jawbreakers,” Dominic warned as Elijah took a small bite. “They’re supposed to be rather hard, but I hope I didn’t make them too hard.”

“Perfect,” Elijah chewed contently and handed the bag to Dominic who tried one himself. “You have a nice talent there, Dom.”

“Aaaah, I love cooking and baking, but I love acting much more,” Dominic swallowed the cookie and reached for a scone. “It’s even better that I get to do the one as a hobby and the other to make money. And I can make all kinds of delicious stuff for you. Whatever your lovely heart wishes,” he added with a wink.

“Stop spoiling me already,” Elijah laughed and bit into a scone. Growing a little more serious, his eyes drifted over the lake and the mountains. “Remember what we talked about when we were here for the first time?”

“Yeah,” Dominic smiled nostalgically. “How could I forget? I practically declared my love to you before I kissed you.”

Elijah smiled and sighed softly. “You said that you would always try to be like me because you thought I was so down to earth despite being a movie-star.”

“And you said you’re not a star,” Dominic turned around to face Elijah who did the same, so they ended up sitting close together, but opposite each other. “But you are, Lij. And you’re gonna be an even bigger star next year.”

Elijah looked down, twisting and turning the last piece of the scone in his hands. “We all will be, Dom. I believe the movies will be a huge success, I really do. I just wonder what will be afterwards.”

“Afterwards?” Dominic raised an eyebrow. “You’re really thinking far ahead, aren’t you?” he chuckled and shoved the rest of his scone into his mouth.

A small smile flashed across Elijah’s face. “I’m just mulling now and then.”

“Like what?” Dominic wanted to know and looked at him intently.

Pulling the pack and a lighter out of the pocket of his jacket, Elijah took a clove and lit it. He offered one to Dominic who just shook his head and kept on looking at him.

“You know,” Elijah took a brief drag and exhaled the smoke. “When we did the boat trip and you gave me the Stone Roses album, you said I should do something with my music passion. I think you’re right, but I haven’t really come up with anything yet. You know, I’m 19 and I’ve been acting for half my life. I’m about the reach the peak of my career. Nothing better can come after that. I mean, it’s not like I’m obsessed with having a huge Hollywood career, it’s just that I don’t think I wanna do this and only this for the rest of my life.”

Elijah paused to take another drag and Dominic nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me at all,” he said. “You hardly know anything else.”

Pouring the scones into the plastic bag so he could use the cookie box as an ashtray, Elijah nodded. “Yeah. I like acting, I really do. But it’s not the only thing I wanna focus on. Sometimes I think I’m still looking for the right place for me, you know what I mean?”

Dominic pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged his knees. “I know. I totally understand you, Lij. And you don’t have to focus on acting alone. You’re in a very fortunate position. You’ve made enough money, your name is out there, you’ve got many passions and interests, you can do whatever you wanna do.”

Elijah smiled, tapping ash into the box. “I just gotta figure out what I wanna do. Definitely something music related.”

“Directing music videos,” Dominic suggested. “That must be cool.”

Puffing and mulling some more, Elijah chuckled and shook his head. “Mmm...too weird. I’m talking about doing something besides acting and you’re still at the beginning.”

“Hey, I’ve done quite a load of stuff already,” Dominic mockingly stuck his nose up in the air. “TV stuff, but still...”

“I know,” Elijah giggled, taking another drag on the clove. “But you can’t compare that to making movies really. And to having a real, international career.”

“Probably not. Ah, but it’s all so exciting. I have absolutely no idea what will be waiting for us,” Dominic crossed his legs again, a wide grin on his face.

“Well, I can tell you one thing already, you are meant to be in the spotlight,” Elijah said, stubbing his clove out in the cookie box and putting it aside. He leaned forward a little as he continued, resting his chin in his hand. “You’ve got the right personality, the right natural cheekiness and you’re a born entertainer. I bet you and Billy together are gonna totally rock the promo tour.”

Dominic scratched the spot behind his ear and smirked. “We’ll do what we can. And I can’t imagine doing anything but acting in my life. Maybe I’ll change my mind in a few years, but right now everything’s just going the way I always wanted it to go. Professionally and privately,” he winked.

Elijah smiled and scooted closer until his body leaned against Dominic’s side. He felt Dominic wrap his arm around his shoulder and took hold of the hand that came to rest there, linking his fingers through slender ones.

“Maybe I‘ll change my mind too, who knows,” he said, his eyes drifting over the lake. “Depends on what happens when the movies come out. But...probably not...”

“You’re not even in your 20s yet, Lijah,” Dominic turned his head a little and placed a kiss on Elijah’s temple. “You’ve still got a lot of time to figure out what you wanna do. And it would be my honor to be by your side, along the whole way,” he smiled against the soft skin.

Shifting his eyes away from the landscape, Elijah looked up into Dominic’s face. His hand let go of Dominic’s as he reached up, his fingers dancing over a lightly stubbly cheek.

“And it would be my honor to have you there,” he said, leaning in and pressing his lips against Dominic’s.

Dominic immediately drowned in the kiss, turning his entire body around so he could pull Elijah against him. Kissing out in the open was always something special, but they had been able to do that a lot since they got here. If it wasn’t raining, they would often go outside despite the cold air, checking out what they hadn’t seen of the Fiordland region yet and more often than not they would prefer the quiet and secluded spots. A few people recognized Elijah, but it didn’t happen as often as it did in Wellington. Of course Te Anau was more relaxed and laid back than New Zealand’s capital, but they had something striking in common. Everywhere the people were friendly and respectful and reacted in a rather cool way if they approached them. The production of the Lord of the Rings movies was a big issue all over the country, yet the locals seemed to have got used to having the sets everywhere and seeing the actors out and about. It wasn’t really surprising though, after all Peter was one of them.

As it had occurred many times before, the consuming kiss left them breathless and they had to pull apart. Smirking wickedly, Dominic at first pretended not to notice the growing hardness that pressed against his thigh. He ripped his eyes away from Elijah’s lightly swollen lips and surveyed the lake. There still wasn’t anyone around and that was rather convenient. Turning his attention to Elijah again, he smiled innocently.

“What a nice day,” he murmured and kissed Elijah’s mouth again before attacking the spot right below the ear. He knew exactly how to turn Elijah into a puddle of willingness and this time was no different. Feeling the bulge against his thigh grow even harder, Dominic’s mouth returned to Elijah’s where his tongue demanded entrance right away. Elijah’s entire groin was filled with an exquisite tingle as he wrapped his arms around Dominic and pressed his hard crotch against Dominic’s leg even more. He moaned enticingly, the sound getting swallowed against Dominic’s mouth.

“Dom...?” Elijah breathed, his lips leaving Dominic’s for a moment. His eyes were half closed and lightly unfocused. He was aroused. Dominic savored the sight and grinned.

“Guess we have a little problem, hmm?” In this moment he wasn’t focused on his own erection, only Elijah’s. The passion in those blue eyes, the hardness he could feel through the pants, the arms that were around his body. 

“We should take care of that...”

The sexy smirk that Elijah’s lips formed sent another shot of blood into Dominic’s lower regions and he bit his own bottom lip hard.

“No one’s here?” Elijah’s breathing was already a little heavy.

“No one...,” Dominic claimed his lips again and slowly lowered him down on his back. Elijah began to tremble in anticipation. Another new and exciting thing they had yet to do. Dominic’s hand was on his bulge and gave it a light squeeze, drawing a low moan out of Elijah’s throat. Then those beautiful fingers unbuttoned his pants and slowly pulled down the zipper. Pulling himself away from Elijah’s face, Dominic sat up and grabbed the waistband of the jeans to pull them off Elijah’s hips.

“Mmm,” he licked his lips as he looked at the boxers. “Now this is what I call a tent...”

Elijah watched him in silence yet intense excitement, watched how Dominic also pulled the shorts down until his cock was free. As the cool air hit his bare groin, Elijah hissed quietly and emitted another moan. His body felt hot and cold at the same time and the tingle in his loins intensified.

Dominic looked at him one last time, his eyes full of hunger and desire, and then he bent down. First Elijah felt that wonderful mouth close around his left testicle and he shuddered. He began to sweat in his jacket, but he was barely aware of it. The tongue licked a wet trail along the length of his cock, causing Elijah to shudder again, before his throbbing cock was swallowed by a wet heat. Not wasting much time because he was simply too hungry, Dominic moved his lips up and down the hard shaft, increasing the pressure on it every time he slid up and towards the head. His tongue licked around the rigid, pulsating flesh. His ears were filled with the beautiful sounds of Elijah’s moans, the birds and the water lapping against the shore. His senses were completely overwhelmed.

Elijah’s half closed eyes caught a brief glimpse at the sky before they rolled back in his head and closed entirely. His left leg lay sprawled on the blanket and his right leg was bent against the side of Dominic’s body. Ragged moans came out through his parted lips as he surrendered himself to Dominic’s ever so skilled mouth and tongue. Somewhere deep inside, his fogged up mind managed to register that Dominic was giving him a blow job on the shore of Lake Te Anau, in bright daylight, but the pleasant sensations knocked him senseless. Everything flowed down into his groin and for a moment he felt like only that part of his body existed.

“Ohh...fuck...Dom...,” Elijah’s moaning became louder gradually while his dry throat gasped for air. His upper body was writhing on the now crumpled blanket and his hands reached for something to hold on to. They found some tufts of grass, his stiff fingers burying themselves in them.

His tongue tasted more and more salty pre-cum, so Dominic pulled his lips a little further up, knowing that Elijah’s orgasm was close. Engulfing the head in his mouth, he held the now heavily throbbing penis in his hand, preparing himself for the delicious shot. He hummed quietly around the tip of the cock, sending tiny vibrations through the length. Elijah hissed and moaned heavily. One last suck on the salty head and Dominic greedily swallowed the sticky seed, his throat muscles working quickly in order to gulp down everything that came out of Elijah’s jerking cock. Once Elijah was completely empty and spent, Dominic licked the last traces of cum off the now limp penis and then released it. The cold against his wet member was something Elijah didn’t notice. His eyes were open now and he was panting in his afterglow.

Dominic smiled at the beautiful sight and leaned down, still ignoring his own hardness. He softly kissed Elijah’s lips and pushed his tongue into his mouth, knowing that Elijah could taste himself on it. Elijah gave in to the kiss as well as he could in his drained state and smirked when Dominic pulled back again.

“That was definitely romantic,” Elijah said weakly, his fingers letting go off the grass that he had ripped out of the ground.

“It was, wasn’t it?” Dominic took hold of Elijah’s hand and pulled him into a sitting position. “Mmmm...you taste as good as ever, baby,” he said, licking his lips.

Elijah looked down between Dominic’s legs. “Do you want me to...?”

The mere thought was more than enticing and Dominic chewed on his lip before replying. “As much as I would love to...let’s save that for another place.”

“Another place?” Elijah frowned, but chuckled. “Why?”

“Because it adds to the kinky fun,” Dominic grinned. “Let’s see what more places we can find for public blow jobs. This one is yours.”

Elijah laughed and pulled his pants back up. “You really are fucking crazy.”

“You sound like a broken record,” Dominic placed his hand on the back of Elijah’s head and pulled him into a kiss.

Soon it was time to leave again. Dominic had done his best to make his erection disappear and it had worked, more or less. He insisted on carrying Elijah back to the boat, also because he thought the freezing cold would definitely make any erection impossible. He was right.

When they rowed back to the cottage, the sun was already setting. Dominic unlocked the backdoor and opened it for Elijah. Elijah giggled as he stepped into the living-room and Dominic embraced him from behind, lifting him briefly up and setting him down again before playfully nuzzling his neck. In moments like these it felt like they were a real married couple. At least for three weeks they were living in the same house, didn’t have to part in the morning, didn’t have to worry about anything. In moments like these it didn’t matter they would never be like the other couples. But that wasn’t a bad thing. They were different and they always would be. Dominic and Elijah against the rest of the world. And that was something they both slowly began to see the fun in and actually feel proud of.


	29. Chapter 29

“I’m so sorry, Dom…”

Dominic stared at Elijah in numb shock. His vision was blurry from too many tears and his head was aching like hell, but it was nothing compared to the painful stab that his heart had just got. He couldn’t believe what had just come out of Elijah’s mouth. After everything they had been through, all the issues they had sorted out together, their reunion that had shown both of them just how meant to be they were, here Elijah was standing again. Telling Dominic that it had been a crazy idea. Telling him how wrong this was. Telling him they couldn’t do this. Fuck, how many times had they talked about this? They had enjoyed their first week here in their little cottage and they had been so happy. Yet Elijah had changed his mind overnight. He wanted to leave Te Anau and spend the rest of the filming break in Wellington. He wanted to leave Dominic.

“I’m so sorry, Dom…but it’s a huge mistake…believe me…it’s better this way… move on…you can get married someday…you can start a family…you can have everything…you don’t have to live a life in shame…try to forget me…us…please…we can’t do this, Dom…we just can’t…”

Dominic wanted to say something, but he couldn’t. He opened his mouth, but no words would come out. His legs wouldn’t move. Elijah was standing at the door, one hand on the handle. Dominic couldn’t go over to him. All he could do was stare. Stare and cry.

“Try to forget me, Dom…you need to forget me…”

Elijah’s face became unclear as more and more tears streamed down Dominic’s cheeks. He still couldn’t say anything. He still couldn’t do anything. The hand on the door handle slowly pushed it down.

“I’m so sorry, Dom…”

The figure at the door was now nothing more but an obscure shadow. Suddenly everything around him started to spin and Dominic clutched at his head which felt like it would explode any second. He squeezed his eyes shut and emitted a choking sound as his chest got heavier and heavier. Something inside him slowly laced up his lungs, making it impossible for him to breathe. He tried to inhale, but he couldn’t. His stiff fingers clawed at his temples, his nails digging into the skin so hard that they drew blood. At last he regained his ability to use his voice, but all that came out of his throat were pain-filled screams. The ground beneath his feet opened up and he fell. He tried to reach out to the one person who could drag him back, but that person wasn’t there anymore. Elijah was gone. And this time he wouldn’t come back. Everything was spinning around him and Dominic screamed in sheer torture. He heard something. A sound that seemed to come from miles away. A faint voice, calling out to him. Calling for him.

“Dom…”

A familiar voice. It became louder, but Dominic didn’t know where it came from. It was everywhere around him, echoing through the air and penetrating his mind. Dominic still felt like he was falling, or more like floating, his whole body aching now and his face wet with tears. Lijah…Lijah…come back to me…I love you…He couldn’t say the words. His throat hurt from all the screams and his voice wouldn’t obey him. He was drained, shattered and utterly spent.

“Dom…!”

That voice again. Even louder this time. _His_ voice. But it couldn’t be...Dominic’s mind was playing tricks on him, for sure. It made him angry and more miserable at the same time. But the voice kept calling for him. And it sounded so close now. Fresh tears streamed down his cheeks and Dominic’s hand reached out. Lijah…Lijah…don’t leave me…please…

His hand gripped something and he clung to it, his fingers tightening around it as his whole body was shaking.

“Dom!...Please…!”

The voice got clearer and now Dominic could hear how full of panic and agony it was. His screams turned into whimpering and suddenly a faint light appeared in front of his eyes. His gaze was fixed at a ceiling and he was completely confused and lost for a moment. Then the view was replaced by something else. A face with the palest skin and the bluest eyes he had ever seen. He blinked and frowned. Lijah…Lijah…you came back…how can this be…

“It’s okay, Dommie…it’s alright …everything’s okay…”

Slowly Dominic’s messed up mind grasped that he was not falling anymore. He was in a room, in a bed. Their bed in their little cottage by the lake. Then he realized that what he was clinging to was Elijah’s arm. He couldn’t help stare at it for a moment, his mind not yet completely back in reality. His fingers were stiff and clawing. Gradually he willed them to move and they obeyed, releasing the fragile-looking, soft skin. He could feel Elijah’s hand on his cheek and he stared up at him, like he was still trying to understand what had happened and why Elijah was still here when he had just left.

“It’s okay, Dom…you had a nightmare, but it’s over now…,” Elijah’s eyes were glistening with unshed tears and his voice was quivering. Concern was written all over his face.

Blinking once, twice, Dominic took a puzzled look around the room. The lamp on the nightstand was switched on, shedding light on his body which was naked and slick with sweat. The covers were crumpled and had slipped off him. He must have tossed and turned violently during his dream. His dream…it had been just a dream…really? He looked at Elijah again, struggling to form a coherent thought in his head. Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth, his eyes staring up.

“What…,” he croaked and coughed. Only now he realized that he was panting heavily and how dry his throat and lips were. “You…you’re here?”

It took Elijah a brief moment before he nodded. Whatever Dominic had been dreaming, Elijah had been in it and it had been anything but pleasant.

“Yes,” he said quietly, his hand moving from Dominic’s clammy cheek up to the damp strands of his hair. “Of course I am.”

Elijah had jerked out of sleep as he had felt the writhing and whimpering body next to him and his heart had broken into a frantic race. He had fumbled with the nightstand lamp for a few seconds, struggling to find the switch and when he had finally turned on the light, he had found Dominic deeply engrossed in his nightmare. Elijah had tried everything to get Dominic to wake up, but when those strong fingers had gripped his wrist, holding it so tightly that it got painful, Elijah had known that this was not an average nightmare. It had been an awful sight, one Elijah hoped he would never see again. When Dominic had finally opened his eyes which were full of terror and torment, Elijah felt both relieved and beyond worried. Dominic had looked like he had just been tortured in hell. He still looked like it now.

Lifting his trembling hand up to Elijah’s face, Dominic touched the smooth skin, making sure that this face was indeed real and there. Still there.

“You’re here…,” he whispered in disbelief. “You’re still here…”

Elijah felt like crying. He had never seen Dominic like this, so utterly devastated, like he had been through hell and back. He wanted to make that look vanish, but he felt so helpless.

“I’m still here, Dom,” he whispered back, taking Dominic’s hand which was still on his cheek and kissing the sweaty palm. “We’re both here, in our cottage…in bed...”

Dominic took a deep, shuddering breath. It had been so real…so fucking real…and it still was. He blinked a few times, his eyes getting wet as the tension left his body and drained out of him through his tears.

“Lijah…,” was all he could whimper before the dams broke down completely. Suddenly his upper body was lifted up as Elijah pulled him up and against him, throwing his arms around him and holding him tightly. Dominic’s trembling arms encircled Elijah and he pressed his wet face into that warm neck, sobbing quietly. Elijah held him as close as possible, one hand stroking his moist back, the other his ruffled hair. It was all he could do in this moment. Helping Dominic lose his tension and let it all out. Like Dominic had held him so many times when Elijah had needed it, giving him strength and showing him that he was not alone. Cradling him lightly, Elijah tried to soothe Dominic as best as he could.

“It’s okay, Dommie,” he said softly, determined to stay strong and not break down as well. He was on the verge of crying himself, but he wouldn’t allow himself that release. Not yet. That was the last thing Dominic needed right now.

“It was just a nightmare…whatever it was about, it wasn’t real and it’s over now…”

After a while the tears stopped flowing and all that was left was some quiet sniffing. Pulling back a little and wiping at his dark-rimmed eyes, Dominic looked at Elijah exhaustedly. His entire face felt raw and sore.

“Fuck…,” he mumbled and coughed, still sniffling silently. “I thought it was real…it was so…real…,” he trailed off again and shuddered.

Elijah knew from his own experiences that talking about something was better than letting it gnaw at you from inside, but he wasn’t quite sure if Dominic was up to it yet. But better now than later. Then it would be out, giving Dominic the chance to calm down again.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elijah asked uncertainly, his fingers running through Dominic’s disheveled strands. “Please, tell me about it. It’ll make you feel better.”

Sighing heavily, Dominic looked down at the wrinkled covers, trying to get his whirling thoughts into some kind of order. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that he had had another nightmare. He had thought they would be over, after all he didn’t have any reason to have nightmares anymore. Not this nightmare. And above all, not with Elijah sleeping safe and sound right next to him.

“Shit…,” Dominic muttered, reaching up and rubbing his throbbing, damp forehead. Shaking his head, like he couldn’t believe this really just happened, he raised his gaze again and locked it with Elijah’s who was looking at him worriedly, but also patiently.

“You…,” he began, his voice strangely low and faint. “You were gone…again…you left me…said it would be better this way…,” he couldn’t go on. He didn’t have to. He had said enough.

Elijah closed his eyes and let go off him, covering his face with his hands as everything suddenly became painfully clear. He was so useless and worthless. Not only had he hurt Dominic when he had left him, or thought he could leave him, he had also burnt him for life. He caused him nightmares. How fucking pathetic could he get?

“Lijah…,” Dominic’s still weak voice called for him. Gentle fingers pried at his, trying to remove his hands from his face.

“No…,” Elijah lowered his hands just a few inches, peeking over the tips of his fingers. Wet blue eyes looked up at Dominic. “Fuck Dom…I’m so sorry…”

All of a sudden the roles were reversed and Elijah was the one in need for desperate comfort. Dominic took Elijah’s hands and slowly managed to pull them away from his face.

“Don’t,” he said softly, shaking his head. “Don’t go there again, baby…”

“But it’s my fault,” Elijah protested, feeling absolutely miserable now. As if he hadn’t done enough damage already. But Dominic refused to allow Elijah to rip that wound open again.

“No baby. Listen, it was just a nightmare. Just my bollocked up brain, okay? We’ve moved on from all that shite. I don’t know why I had another nightmare, maybe because everything’s so beautiful right now and something wanted to remind me to appreciate it. But I do that already, Lijah. I love being here, spending every minute of every day with you…”

Taking a deep breath, Elijah struggled with himself. Believe him. He’s right. Don’t dig out all the old crap. You’re okay now. But…but…no. No buts. Suck it up.

Something suddenly struck him.

“What…,” he blinked and frowned. “What do you mean, another nightmare? You had one before?”

Dominic bit on his bottom lip, silently cursing himself. Bloody hell, he should have kept that to himself. It would only make Elijah’s self-blame worse. Sighing heavily, he took hold of Elijah’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“Yes,” he said. “When we were apart. The image of you walking through that door just got stuck in my head and it repeated itself, again and again. And when we got back together, I dreamt that you left again, but it was never this bad. I…I don’t know what’s wrong with me now…,” he rubbed his eyes with his free hand, they still felt sore.

Soft, pale fingers grabbed his and he looked up. “Dom…,” Elijah sighed sadly. “It will never happen again. Believe me, I could never do that again, never…”

“I know,” Dominic nodded and a tinge of a smile crossed his face. His hand cupped Elijah’s smooth cheek and he brushed his thumb over it in a stroking motion. “I know, Lij…I’ll get over this, don’t you worry. Just please don’t start the self-blame again, please…”

Elijah blinked, feeling the tears burn in his eyes. But he wouldn’t allow them to fall. Not anymore, not because of this. It had taken him a long time to leave the self-blame behind, but seeing Dominic so upset tonight had brought it all back up. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. There were no reasons to look back anymore. They were supposed to be nothing but happy about what they had right here and now. And they had everything. Stop the guilt, stop dwelling on the past. Elijah told himself just this, over and over again, and looking into Dominic’s face, looking into the loving eyes of this man who loved him and treated him like he was the most precious thing in the world…it all made it impossible for Elijah to harbor any negative thoughts for much longer. His lips formed a small smile and that simple act felt so incredibly good.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Dominic smiled, but then turned serious again, his eyes holding a remorseful look. “I’m sorry I scared you…”

Elijah placed his hand over Dominic’s on his cheek. “You didn’t. It’s okay.”

Dominic wanted to smile again, but his gaze fell on Elijah’s lower arm and an image came back to him. The nightmare, how he had reached for something, not realizing that it had been Elijah. Swallowing hard, Dominic raised his eyes and looked into Elijah’s.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, afraid of the answer, but Elijah shook his head swiftly.

“It was nothing, don’t worry.”

The grip around his wrist had been painful, but there was no reason to mention it. It had been nothing compared to the shock of seeing Dominic’s frantic state. Elijah placed another kiss on the palm of Dominic’s hand and then cupped his still damp face to kiss the dry lips. What Dominic needed now was to be comforted, reassured and loved with everything Elijah could give him. Make him shed the anxiety and push the remains of the bad dream out of his mind. Remind him where they were and that nothing bad could happen to them here. Nothing bad could happen at all as long as they were together. Moving his lips slowly and gently against Dominic’s, Elijah poured all his soothing and loving energy into the kiss until he felt Dominic respond. With one quick movement Elijah slipped out of his boxers. Unlike Dominic, he didn’t really like sleeping completely naked, unless they had made love of course. He dropped the shorts on the carpet in front of the bed without breaking away from Dominic’s now moist lips once. His hands traveled down to Dominic’s shoulders and he softly pushed him down on his back.

“Don’t worry,” Elijah breathed into that wonderful mouth and when their bodies united and he started to thrust slowly into Dominic, everything was back to the way it was before. At least for the rest of the night.

 

~**~

 

The wind rustled through the trees and large dark clouds floated quickly up in the sky, making this day a total contrast to the day they had spent out at their special lake shore spot. It was late afternoon and slowly getting dark already. Standing by the window, Elijah brushed his fingers against the glass as he looked out at the uncomfortable autumn weather. His mind was miles away. Or rather, not so far away. Dominic was in the bathroom, shaving and getting changed.

When Elijah had woken up, Dominic had still been sound asleep on his stomach, his face turned towards him. Elijah had tenderly touched that exhausted face, stroked the stubbles and simply watched Dominic get some much needed rest. The night had been draining and Elijah still felt his heart break at the memory. No more self-blame, he would have to hammer that into his head somehow. He had sworn to himself, right when they had got back together after those horrible days in February, that he would do anything to make it up to Dominic. Self-blame or not, he needed to show him that there was nothing to be scared of anymore. Show Dominic just how special he was to him, though Dominic would probably argue that Elijah showed him just that every day. Dominic really was the most romantic person Elijah had ever met and he was constantly amazed by the little things and gestures he would sometimes come up with.

Elijah had kissed Dominic’s cheek before slipping out of bed, an irrevocable determination filling him. He would make this day one of the most special and most romantic days they had spent here so far. He would replace Dominic’s gloominess and melancholy with warmth and love. Dominic wouldn’t have to worry about anything.

Turning away from the window, Elijah looked at the living-room table. He smiled. It was perfect. The plates, cutlery and wine glasses were neatly arranged, the vase with flowers in the middle of the table and two candlesticks on each side of it. Two kitchen chairs were positioned across from each other. Now the only three things yet missing were the food, the wine and the object of his love. Dominic had come up with the idea of doing a candle light dinner at home and having a normal dinner out in town and Elijah loved the idea. Of course it was impossible for them to spend a visibly romantic night outside their home, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t arrange it themselves. And today was the ideal day. It was something they both needed after the distressing night. So Elijah had taken it into his own hands, cooked, chosen the wine and set the table while Dominic was resting. He smiled at the thought of organizing something this romantic all by himself, something he could pour all his love into, something he had never done for anyone else before. He had never had a reason to do anything like this for anyone before. Not until this man had stepped into his life. Dominic had awoken a lot of things that Elijah had not even known were inside him.

Elijah went into the kitchen, checking on the food and getting the wine from the fridge. Too bad he hadn’t brought any fancy clothes to the cottage, that would have been even more fun. He heard the bathroom door and grinned, suddenly feeling very excited. It was supposed to be perfect. Nothing but utterly perfect. Grabbing the wine bottle, Elijah left the kitchen and moved back into the living-room. His heart began to beat faster as he saw Dominic standing in front of the table, scratching his freshly shaved chin. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a black buttoned up shirt. He really looked good in pretty much every color and piece of clothing, Elijah noticed once again.

Clearing his throat, he smiled as Dominic turned around. “Dinner’s ready to get served.”

There were still faint dark circles around Dominic’s eyes, but they seemed to miraculously disappear when he smiled back. “Mmm…wonderful, can’t wait,” he said, his voice a little raspy and hoarse. Elijah went over to him, reaching up and brushing his fingers against his smooth skin. His eyes were full of affection and assurance as he could see the last traces of torment in Dominic’s blue-grey orbs. Leaning in, Elijah pressed his lips against Dominic’s which were not dry and sore anymore.

“Take a seat, I’ll be right back,” he whispered and smiled, making Dominic smile as well.

Putting the bottle on the table and pulling one of the chairs back, Elijah offered it to Dominic who sat down and let his eyes survey the table. Then he hurried into the kitchen. Dominic’s fingers fumbled with a fork. He had felt like shit when he had woken up and hadn’t really had the energy to get out of bed. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep again, feeling completely knocked out. Elijah had made love to him, letting Dominic feel his presence and allowing him to shed some of the tension. Dominic had been able to fall asleep again, but this morning he had felt like he had partied the night away. Eventually he had climbed out of bed and taken a long, hot shower, washing all the dried sweat on his body away. His muscles had relaxed and he had gotten some of his lost warmth back. Then Elijah had surprised him with his dinner plan. Dominic smiled as he looked at the candles on the table. Elijah had made every effort to set up a perfectly romantic candle light dinner. The scent of the food filled his nose and he realized just how hungry he really was. Running a hand through his hair, Dominic sighed quietly. He still couldn’t believe he had had another nightmare. Why here? Why now? And with Elijah sleeping beside him. He had probably scared him to death. Before he could brood about it any further, Elijah returned carrying a tray. He smiled happily, a sight that infected Dominic at once.

“Okay, here we go,” Elijah set the place on the table and shoved some food onto Dominic’s plate. It was a pasta meal with sea fruit and red wine. Simple but fancy and romantic at the same time. Inhaling the scent, Dominic purred and smiled up at Elijah.

“Mmm…what else did you hide from me, Lij?”

Chuckling and filling his own plate with pasta, Elijah shrugged. “It’s not that difficult to make and you know it. But it was made with lots and lots of love,” he winked and opened the wine bottle.

“Oh, I know,” Dominic held up his glass and Elijah poured some wine into it. “It doesn’t matter if it’s a difficult meal or not. You just gotta like it. And as long as you don’t have to throw it up again, everything’s good,” he added with a grin.

Elijah giggled, glad to see some of Dominic’s humor return. He hadn’t been quite sure how Dominic would like having dinner today, if he was up to it or if he even had an appetite at all, but apparently he did. When Elijah sat down across from him, he could see that Dominic’s eyes were indeed still dark-rimmed and his look revealed that he was not yet quite back in reality. Or that something was still bothering him, but he didn’t want to show it. He didn’t seem to be completely over the nightmare yet. Reaching over the table, Elijah took Dominic’s hand into his and gave it a light squeeze.

“Just eat as much as you can, yeah? If you don’t have any appetite yet, it’s okay.”

Dominic smiled and squeezed his hand back. “I am hungry, baby. Haven’t really eaten anything all day and this looks more than good. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” Elijah let go off Dominic’s hand and took his glass. “To you.”

Dominic lifted his glass. “To us,” he said.

“Us,” Elijah smiled, taking a sip of the wine. He pulled his lighter out of his pocket and lit the candles. The room was already semi-dark due to the fading daylight, so the candlelight plunged it into a warm, glowing color.

Tasting the wine and setting the glass down again, Dominic dug his fork into the pasta and shoved it into his mouth. Yes, he was definitely hungry.

“Mmm…,” he hummed in bliss. “Just what I needed.”

 

“I’m glad you like it,” Elijah beamed, feeling proud of himself. Cooking wasn’t really his specialty, but this was for a special person, so he had gathered all his kitchen skills and made something that he was sure he wouldn’t mess up. And D0minic didn’t only need the peaceful, loving atmosphere, he also needed something in his stomach.

As he swallowed his mouthful of food, Dominic looked at the table that was illuminated only by the candles. He could immediately feel a comfortable warmth fill the void inside his body as well as his soul, which he felt after waking up. Elijah’s face looked even more beautiful in this light and Dominic couldn’t do anything but smile at him from across the table.

“This was such a lovely idea, Lij,” he said and took Elijah’s hand again that rested beside his plate. “You’re the best.”

Elijah linked his fingers through Dominic’s and raised the hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on it and holding it against his cheek. “It was the least I could do after last night. How are you feeling?”

“Much better,” Dominic tenderly caressed the side of Elijah’s face as he gazed into his eyes. They reflected the glow of the candles which was a mesmerizing sight.

“If you need to talk about it again, please do so, Dom,” Elijah said gently. “You know you can pour everything out to me. You’ve listened to all my insecurities and problems and I wanna do the same for you.”

Sighing and looking into his wine glass, Dominic thought about how to approach this. He had wanted to tell Elijah about the nightmares he had, but now that wasn’t necessary anymore. Elijah had witnessed it himself. But talking about those days back in February was still hard and Dominic didn’t want to rip open the healing wounds, but he did feel the need to talk. It was gnawing at him and he couldn’t fight it. He looked at Elijah again.

“How were you doing…,” he began, swallowing hard, “when we were apart…I mean…were you relieved or sad or…I don’t know…”

Elijah put his fork down and took hold of Dominic’s hand with both of his. He held it tightly, like he was afraid it might suddenly disappear.

“I was a mess,” he said, shaking his head lightly. “Fuck…I don’t even remember everything. It was like I was out of my body. I don’t even know how I got up in the morning, let alone come on set…”

Dominic nodded, loving how his hand was now completely enveloped in Elijah’s. “I never told you this,” he said after a few seconds of silence. “I almost boozed myself to death. Billy came and wiped my arse off the floor. Bloody hell…I owe so much to him…”

He could literally see how a shudder ran through Elijah’s body. His hand was squeezed even more tightly as Elijah closed his eyes, letting the words sink in. Dominic was silent for a moment, feeling shitty that he had told Elijah about that incident, but he needed him to know. He wanted Elijah to know everything, his doubts, his fears, the suffering he had endured. Because only if Elijah knew everything, Dominic could move on from his nightmare. This was the only way, he was sure of it.

“Lijah…,” he said in a soft tone and put his other hand on Elijah’s cheek. Elijah opened his eyes again, but he looked so incredibly sad. “Baby, I went through hell and back in those days and I never wanna go there again. I’d never survive that. I just wanted to tell you everything. I want you to know what not being with you did to me. Because…because…,” he trailed off, took a deep breath and leaned a little more forward, looking deeply into Elijah’s eyes. “Because it’s something I can never go through again. I know it’s a scary thought, but it’s like it is. You’re so much more than just my boyfriend, Lijah. So much more and you’ve probably no idea how much I love you and how much I need you. I feel like I’ve found a piece of me that I didn’t even know was missing. I really truly believe in fate and that I was meant to find you. I know it must sound so bloody cheesy, but you’re a part of my soul, baby. We’re soul mates, I’ve never been so sure about anything.”

Dominic had never failed to make him blush, but this went beyond any compliment Elijah had ever heard. The sad expression left his eyes as he just sat there, speechless and more touched than he had ever been before. His hands tightened their hold on Dominic’s and he had to blink back a few tears.

“Oh Dom…I…,” he muttered, at a complete loss for words. “I don’t know how to say this…it’s just how I was feeling too…I mean…fuck…how can you always find the right words?”

Pulling Elijah’s hand over to him, a smile suddenly appeared on Dominic’s face as he kissed the pale fingers. “I know, baby. I know, you told me before and I see it in your eyes. Every single day that you’re with me…”

Elijah smiled and nodded, despite the tears that were threatening to wet his eyes. “Yeah…and you made me believe in fate as well…I never thought this could be possible, but meeting you has introduced me to so many new things. You just…you made my life a million times better, Dom. You helped me find out who I really am and I’ll be forever thankful for that and everything else you’ve given to me. I’m just so fucking happy to have you…”

Dominic’s smile grew even bigger until he emitted a chuckle. “This romance idea is really getting a little out of control, hmm?”

Elijah wiped a happy tear away. “Looks like it…”

Sighing and looking at Elijah lovingly, Dominic found himself lost in a moment of silent adoration and the ever present question of how he had become this lucky. It was totally and utterly inconceivable, but that was what love was like. Sometimes it hits you when you least expect it with such a force that you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach, in a positive way. Shaking his head lightly to bring himself back to reality, Dominic cleared his throat.

“Come on, let’s not forget about your wonderful food,” he kept holding on to Elijah’s hand as he grabbed his fork. Elijah’s fingers caressed his while they enjoyed the rest of the meal, talking about this and that. The daylight faded more and more as time passed by and soon the candlelight was the only light in the room left, creating an incredibly tender atmosphere. Sipping the last of his wine, Elijah stood up and took the now empty pot. A hand grabbed his and he looked up.

“I think that can wait…,” Dominic said in a deep voice, his emotions clear in his tone and his eyes. Elijah let go of the pot as Dominic moved around the table and pulled him into a warm embrace. Their lips briefly met before Dominic leaned down and blew one of the candles out. The other candlestick he lifted up, making Elijah grin.

“You look like someone out of an old gothic movie.”

Dominic purred and kissed Elijah again, taking his hand with his free hand and leading him towards the bedroom.

“Mmm…come into my castle tower,” he smirked, pushing the door open and putting the candle on the nightstand. The small room was immediately dipped into a warm glow. Elijah sat down on the bed as Dominic closed the door and turned to him. Dominic was momentarily stunned that it was still possible for Elijah to look even more beautiful than he already was. Pulling his socks off his feet, Elijah dropped them on the floor and leaned back on his hands, looking up at Dominic with a lovely smile.

“Come here…,” he whispered and before he realized it, he was lying beneath Dominic’s body on the bed, his shirt pulled up over his head and his lips showered with kisses. Elijah’s fingers unbuttoned Dominic’s shirt and pushed it open, revealing his muscular chest which he started to roam with his hands at once. The rest of their clothes joined those on the carpet. For a few minutes they were busy with nothing but eager, deep kissing and stroking. Elijah wrapped his arms and legs around the body on top of his, his soft fingers brushing over Dominic’s back and gripping his shoulder blades whenever their erections came into contact. Dominic’s own legs were bent as he buried his tongue inside Elijah’s mouth and his fingers in his hair. They couldn’t be any closer than they were in this very moment. Their bodies were entangled and almost one. Almost.

Breaking the kiss for a second to catch some air, Dominic opened his eyes and gazed down. Their faces were merely inches apart and he was knocked out by the breathtaking sight. Elijah’s cheeks which would usually have turned from pale to flushed by now held an orange light as they were illuminated by the candlelight. His blue eyes looked dark and deep and reflected his inner heart and soul, as they always did when Dominic gazed into them. Elijah’s moist, lightly swollen lips formed a loving smile, one of his hands moving up and getting tangled in Dominic’s hair.

“Lijah…,” Dominic’s voice was barely above a whisper, his thumbs finding their place on Elijah’s cheeks and stroking the smooth skin. “God…what you do to me…”

Elijah’s body enveloped him, making him feel like being inside a soft shelter that would never go away. Never go away…

“Think about today, Dom…,” Elijah said, stroking that shaggy dark-blonde hair that his fingers were buried in. “Whenever you feel insecure again, think about today. I won’t go anywhere…never again…”

Pulling Dominic’s face down and closing the inches that separated them, Elijah kissed him lovingly before smiling again. “Remember how much I love you and that I’m yours alone…”

Dominic wasn’t able to keep their lips apart for much longer. Crashing his mouth onto Elijah’s, he kissed him so deeply that both their breaths were taken away instantly. How could he ever thank fate enough for bringing Elijah into his life? How could he ever show him how much he loved him, how much he meant to him? He tried to show him every day and he hoped it was enough. Elijah deserved everything, everything this world had to offer. And even though Dominic couldn’t give it all to him, he would do his best to give him what he could.

Withdrawing only to quickly spit into his hand and coat his erection and pushing two fingers into Elijah’s entrance to make sure he was ready and didn’t need any more preparation, it didn’t take long until Dominic slid into Elijah’s waiting body. They were one and a whole, just like they were supposed to be. Their lips were tightly locked as Dominic began to thrust slowly, very slowly, groaning into Elijah’s mouth.

Elijah had his eyes closed in bliss, his mouth open against Dominic’s and moaning quietly. Then he couldn’t feel anything anymore against his parted lips as Dominic’s kissing mouth moved across his cheek and down to his ear, panting and groaning quietly, the pace of his thrusts increasing a little. It was apparent that this act tonight went beyond love making. Elijah felt it, sensed it when Dominic tightened his hold on him, his low moaning mixing with silent whimpering sounds. The despair, the pain of the nightmare that might have still been nagging in the back of his mind was falling off him. Tonight Dominic claimed Elijah, his body and soul, and nothing would ever manage to destroy that claim. Never again. His thrusts became more unsteady, his body began to tremble and Elijah could feel how Dominic’s emotions were about to overwhelm him. Holding Dominic’s head against his neck whilst his legs were firmly locked around his rocking waist, Elijah received each thrust, thinking about how well their bodies fit together, how perfectly they moved in unison, what wonderful pleasure they were able to create together and that he would always be with this wonderful, incredible man.

“Lijah…baby…love you…,” the panting, groaning voice in his ear was almost too much and Elijah reached between their bodies to take hold of himself. The thrusts slowed down again and a shudder ran through Dominic as Elijah felt something warm fill him up. His climax followed soon afterwards and he brought his arm back around Dominic’s upper body, panting along with his spent lover. Dominic kept his face buried against the side of Elijah’s neck and Elijah held him there, like he was cradling him. He opened his eyes. The candle was burnt down almost entirely, there was just a faint glimmer left.

“I’m yours,” he repeated his earlier words in a whisper and Dominic shifted, like he wanted to press himself even more into Elijah’s loving embrace. The glimmer disappeared and the candle went out.

 


	30. Chapter 30

“Woah, fuck me!” Elijah panted.

Dominic who was walking a few feet ahead turned around with a smirk. “Wrong place, wrong time, Lij. Just a little more, we’re almost there.”

Putting his hands on his hips, Elijah faked an overly tortured look. “You said that ten times already.”

“But this time it’s true. The hut is over there,” Dominic smiled and pointed at some spot ahead of them.

Elijah narrowed his eyes as he followed Dominic’s gaze. “Oh thank God. Well, I survived five miles, I’ll survive another few feet.”

“That’s the right attitude,” Dominic giggled and waited until Elijah had caught up with him. He could see a couple of people in the distance, otherwise he would have taken Elijah’s hand. So he decided to simply stay as close to him as possible.

“Or do you want me to carry you up the rest of the mountain, Frodo?”

“It’s _Mister_ Frodo to you,” Elijah emphasized and Dominic laughed.

Almost four hours of hiking along the Kepler Track had brought them here, on top of Mount Luxmore, their destination for the day. The entire track was about 40 miles long, leading through the spectacular scenery of the Fiordland National Park, from rocky mountain ridges to tall, mossy forests and from lake shores to deep gorges. They had started at the Lake Te Anau Control Gates at the southern end of the town and followed the first half of the path along the lakeside, limestone bluffs and through a beech forest. Crossing the forest had been an adventure in itself with its thick green ferns, moss and lichens that were dripping from the sparkling branches. Dominic had constantly stopped walking so he could snoop around to see if he could find any interesting bugs that he hadn’t discovered yet. Hiking further up the mountain, they had eventually reached a plain scattered with tufts of sharp grass. And now they had arrived at the hut on Mount Luxmore. The Luxmore Hut was a place on the Kepler Track where hikers could take a rest, cook their food on stoves and even spend the night. The view was stunning. Down in the valley Lake Te Anau lay peacefully. Ragged clouds were hovering above them and on the other side of the southern arm of the lake the enormous Murchison Mountains range arose. It was a feeling like floating in between the earth and the sky.

“Bloody fantastic…,” Dominic mumbled in awe, surveying the Te Anau basin, the mountains and the landscape in the far distance. “If this view isn’t worth the blisters, I don’t know what is.”

Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, he pulled out his camera and turned it on.

“Blisters?” Elijah asked, grinning. “Who’s got blisters? I don’t.”

“Good, then you can strike a few poses in front of this beautiful background,” Dominic winked and aimed the camera at him. “These are gonna be some amazing photos!”

Elijah immediately jumped a few feet ahead, his initial exhaustion forgotten. Gesturing wildly, like he was presenting something for a holiday catalog, he smiled happily as Dominic took photo after photo, checking each one on the display at the back of the camera.

“Awesome!” he shouted and walked up to Elijah. “Group pic,” he grinned as he stepped behind Elijah and gave him the camera, so Elijah could stretch his arm out and take a better shot of the two of them together.

“Wow,” Elijah whistled as he looked at the result. “This is really a once in a lifetime photo.”

“With a once in a lifetime person,” Dominic murmured, briefly glancing over to the hut to make sure that nobody was paying attention to them before kissing Elijah’s cheek. Elijah lowered the camera and turned his head, ending up face to face with him.

“How come you always find all this romantic stuff to say?” he inquired with a loving smile.

Dominic shrugged and grinned cheekily. “You’re a great inspiration,” he said and quickly gave Elijah a kiss on the lips. Then he stepped away again before he could dive into a deeper kiss, completely unintentionally of course. Elijah just shook his head, still smiling and lifting the camera again to take some more photos of the Te Anau basin and the hut.

“Wouldn’t it be cool to have a house up here?” Elijah chuckled as he gave the camera back to Dominic. “Well, the only thing that sucks is that you’d always have to go all the way down into the valley to get your groceries.”

“Oh, but think of the peace and quiet we’d have here,” Dominic turned the camera off and slipped it back into his pocket. They slowly made their way into the direction of the hut where quite a lot of trampers had gathered to admire the view and take photos. “But only if this tourist magnet wasn’t here,” he added with a giggle.

“Hmm, this trip would be the right thing for Orli,” Elijah remarked, burying his hands deep in his pockets. The autumn cold was striking in this altitude.

“We should do the whole track one day. That would be a challenge,” Dominic looked at the hut, wondering if any of those people would recognize them. Or rather recognize Elijah. Even on a mountain top. “Would you like to grab a bite first or do you wanna check out the cave?”

“The cave!” Elijah exclaimed excitedly. “Been looking forward to that all day long.”

“As you wish,” Dominic smirked as they walked past the hut, leaving the last trace of civilization behind. The Luxmore Cave was just a few minutes away from the hut and another must see stop on the track. It was a limestone cave with stalagmites and stalactites and the entrance was a big slit in the ground, shedding some daylight into the cave up to a certain point. Beyond there was nothing but darkness. When Dominic and Elijah arrived, three hikers were just leaving the cave. They were chatting eagerly and briefly greeted them before continuing their walk to the hut.

“Is there anyone in there?” Dominic moved over to the dark entrance and peeked inside. He didn’t hear any voices. “Awesome,” he said and turned around, reaching out his hand for Elijah to take.

“Wow, spooky,” Elijah murmured, looking into the dark hole and his hand tightening its grip on Dominic’s. “And you said we don’t need a torch.”

“We’ll just go as far as there’s light. Come on, that’ll be fun,” Dominic grinned and slowly entered the cave with Elijah pressing himself against his side. It was a short walk down and then straight ahead. Gradually their eyes adjusted to the increasing darkness, but there was still light coming through the entrance of the cave.

“How long is it again?” Dominic’s voice echoed in between the limestone walls.

“About 1.3 miles, I read,” Elijah said, feeling quite humbled in this place. “Don’t think I’d need to go all the way though, even if we had a torch.”

They slowly moved a little further into the cave which swallowed them with its darkness. Only their footsteps were heard, no more sounds from the outside world. Elijah kept on clutching Dominic’s hand as soon as his eyes couldn’t make out any objects anymore. The entrance of the cave lay far behind them now and was nothing more but a small point in the distance. Dominic stopped walking. He could hear Elijah breathing right next to him.

“This is sort of romantic, isn’t it?” he whispered, reluctant to speak any louder than he really needed to. Elijah chuckled quietly.

“Everything’s romantic to you.”

Turning around, Dominic loosened his hold on Elijah’s hand and wrapped his arms around him instead. He could still make out those beautiful eyes in the now very faint light.

“No really,” he said, his voice still a whisper. “Such little space, makes you feel like you’re the only people in the world.”

“Mmm,” Elijah reached up and touched Dominic’s invisible cheek. “The only two people in the world. Kind of romantic indeed.”

He blindly leaned in and kissed Dominic’s lips which he couldn’t see, only feel, and they felt as wonderful as ever. The light stubble scratched his smooth skin as his tongue gently demanded entrance into that warm mouth. Sighing softly and leaning a little more against Dominic, Elijah raised his arms and encircled Dominic’s neck. For a moment he completely forgot where they were as the kiss got deeper. There wasn’t just something romantic about this place, there was also something strangely erotic, in a certain, special, unexplainable way.

“Still spooky?” Dominic’s low voice broke the silence, his lips moving against Elijah’s.

“Not really,” Elijah smirked and pulled away a little. Yes, there was definitely something erotic about this place. “You know what? I think this is the perfect spot.”

“Oh yeah?” Dominic grinned at the purring tone. “For what?”

Licking his lips, Elijah removed his right arm from around Dominic’s neck and reached down. The sudden grip on his crotch made Dominic jump lightly.

“For this,” Elijah groaned, feeling Dominic immediately respond to his touch.

“Ohh…this…,” Dominic exhaled heavily, his breathing already becoming rather strained as Elijah began to move his hand, squeezing and rubbing the sensitive clad area. Then those fingers slid further up to undo the button of his pants.

“You didn’t forget about it, did you?” Elijah didn’t have to push Dominic backwards very far. The cave was narrow where they were and soon Dominic’s back was pressed against the hard wall. “We’re out in the open…sort of…”

“Mmm…of course, kinky,” the words that came out of Dominic’s mouth were swallowed when Elijah crushed his lips against it for another deep kiss. It couldn’t be, but the temperature inside the cave seemed to have gone up by a hundred degrees from one moment to the next. Pulling down the zipper of Dominic’s jeans, Elijah took hold of the erection that sprang free right away. Sometimes it was pretty convenient that Dominic wasn’t the biggest fan of underwear.

“Tell me when someone’s coming…”

Before Dominic could say that he probably wouldn’t be in the right condition to do so, his cock was already engulfed by a wet heat and sucked on hard, knocking him completely out. He couldn’t help the moan that he involuntarily emitted and only hoped that no one was standing right outside. The sound echoed through the cave, making it appear louder than it actually was. Pressing the back of his head against the cold stone, Dominic closed his eyes and bit down hard on his bottom lip, trying to somehow control the sounds that came out of his throat. It was hard not to moan out loud shamelessly and without giving a damn about who could hear them. His fingers grasped Elijah’s hair in the darkness and the suction on his rigid penis got harder and harder.

Crouching on his knees on the dirty ground, Elijah’s arms were now firmly locked around Dominic’s thighs as his lips slid up and down the stiff cock, wetting it and making it harder with each suck. Elijah had never thought that this would be the one place for his first public blow-job. Maybe the back of their cottage or another more comfortable, secluded spot. But a dirty cave on top of a mountain, with people strolling around not too far away, it was just too tempting. It might have been risky, but in this very moment he really couldn’t care less. It was the perfect spot for some kinkiness. The cock between his swollen lips began to throb heavily after a while and the leaking salty slit indicated that Dominic was close to his climax. Elijah wondered how Dominic managed to be so quiet. It must have taken his entire willpower and determination not to make his usual noise. Pulling back, so that only the head was in his mouth, Elijah grabbed the length of the cock, preparing himself for the seed. He had quickly learnt the best way to swallow without having to gag. When the hot semen finally filled his mouth, his throat muscles worked fast, gulping down every single drop. He remembered the first time he had done just this. He had been totally freaked out, not even able to imagine what it was like actually swallowing someone’s cum. But it was really one of the most intimate acts there were and he had quickly lost his initial hesitation and anxiety. Now it seemed almost natural.

Releasing the spent cock, Elijah pulled Dominic’s pants back up for him and got up on lightly shaking legs, regretting that he couldn’t see Dominic’s face right now. He could only hear his panting and his ragged breathing.

“Lijah, Lijah…,” Dominic murmured and cupped Elijah’s face in the darkness. “What have I done with you…?”

Elijah grinned, loving the lingering taste of Dominic on his tongue. “Hopeless corruption…”

“Mm-mmm…,” was all Dominic purred as a reply as he claimed Elijah’s lips for a kiss. The usual sweetness of Elijah mingled with the saltiness of himself was almost too much to handle, each and every time. Kissing Elijah was already more than addictive, exciting and lovely in itself. The kiss had to end when they heard voices outside the cave.

“Wow, that was close,” Dominic chuckled and took Elijah’s hand.

“Or maybe they did hear something,” Elijah snorted, but added, “although you were admirably quiet. How did you do that?”

“I can control myself if I have to,” Dominic smirked and led Elijah towards the exit, only letting go of his hand when the other people came into view. None of them recognized them, thank God, and so they stepped into the open, feeling like they’d been underground for a strangely long time.

“Bloody hell,” Dominic grabbed the front of his jacket and lightly pulled at it. “Has it gotten warmer while we were in there?”

Elijah grinned mischievously, loving the sight of Dominic’s flushed face. “It’s just the post-coital heat, don’t worry.”

“I’d give you post-coital heat, if we were alone,” Dominic grinned back.

“But I could do with something a little more nutritious inside my stomach right now,” Elijah stated rather matter-of-factly and Dominic laughed.

“You’re unbelievable. I love you.”

“Oh,” Elijah smiled at him from the side as they walked back to the hut. “I hope so…”

 

~**~

 

It was evening when they returned to the cottage, both of them glad that they did not have to use their feet anymore on this day. This day, one of the last days in Te Anau. In less than a week they would be back in Wellington, back at work, back on different sets most of the time.

“I’m so fucking dead,” Elijah sighed, flopping down on the couch in the living-room after he and Dominic had taken a shower. Now casually dressed in sweatpants and shirt, he smiled as Dominic joined him, dropping himself dramatically right next to Elijah.

“That was awesome,” he gathered Elijah in his arms who immediately cuddled up against his side and yawned quietly.

“It was…,” Elijah placed a kiss on his cheek and grinned. “And some good fitness training for all the Mordor scenes.”

Dominic chuckled, putting his legs up on the armrest of the armchair next him. “Ah, I’m already looking forward to all the massages I can give you then.”

“Mmm, you better stop spoiling me, Dom. I have to really suffer, you know. I just gotta get it right.”

“Oh, you will Lij,” Dominic kissed his temple, smiling at the thought. Then he suddenly laughed out loud, making Elijah smile amused.

“What?”

“Just wondering if your arse is going to look like Billy’s after that fatal slide.”

Elijah’s adorable giggle filled the room as he remembered that particular night the month before when Dominic, Billy, Viggo and he had returned home after attending the Edinburgh Military Tattoo in Wellington. Billy owned his own kilt of course, but Dominic and Elijah had rented them whereas Viggo had ditched the Scottish garb and worn his Aragorn belt. That had been so typically Viggo and even Billy hadn’t been able to be angry with him. After watching the impressive military drum performance with a traditional Maori ritual opening, the hobbits had left the event driving in the same car when they had passed a playground and decided that playing there was a fun idea. A silly idea and one that could have come only to _their_ silly heads. The slide had been particularly attractive, but unfortunately Billy’s kilt had ridden up far enough for him to burn his bottom pretty painfully. Elijah had learnt many more British swearwords that night.

“That wouldn’t have happened if he had been wearing underwear,” Elijah laughed.

Dominic stared at him and mock-gasped. “But Elijah, real Scots don’t wear anything under their kilts, don’t you know that?”

“Sure I do. He called me a sissy sod or something when I said that I would put on boxers.”

“But it was a wise decision,” Dominic grinned broadly. “Poor bugger should have done that as well. He couldn’t sit for days.”

Elijah snorted and playfully rolled his eyes. “But that would have wrecked his Scottish honor,” he said and suddenly beamed when his eyes fell on something. “Oh right, we gotta continue!”

Dominic frowned as Elijah jumped out of his embrace and rushed over to the TV. Actually it wasn’t the TV he was heading for, it was the DVD player. Sighing exaggeratedly, Dominic groaned as if he was in heavy pain when he realized what Elijah was up to.

“Speaking of wrecked honor,” he chuckled and shook his head. “If only I hadn’t given you the bloody discs.”

Elijah grabbed the remote control. “Like with many other things, you have to live with the consequences now,” Elijah winked and turned to the kitchen.

“Come on, I’ll get you something to live through it,” he snorted and rushed into the kitchen, returning with a few bottles of beer and a bottle opener.

“I can’t believe you’re so into this rubbish,” Dominic shook his head again, smiling at Elijah’s enthusiasm as he retook his place against Dominic’s side.

“But it’s fucking awesome rubbish…uhm trash,” Elijah remarked, opening a cold bottle and handing it to Dominic. “Really, it’s not that bad.”

“But my acting was,” Dominic leaned back, his bottle in his left hand and his right arm around Elijah who pressed himself against him, draping his legs across Dominic’s lap and opening another bottle. “But it was a nice start, I suppose,” he said when Elijah pushed a button on the remote control and the familiar tune of Hetty Wainthropp Investigates began to play.

“The only thing you’re right to be ashamed of are the clothes,” Elijah giggled and took a sip from his bottle. “Seriously, was that the typical fashion in England in the middle of the 90s?”

Sticking his nose up in the air, Dominic feigned an insulted reaction and said, “I think it’s really charming.”

“Well, we’re almost on season three, so the horror will be over for you soon,” Elijah grinned, expecting another exaggerated dramatic reaction, but couldn’t help but frown amused when it didn’t come. Instead a wide smile spread on Dominic’s face which amused Elijah even more.

“What?” he inquired with a chuckle. “Did I say anything wrong?”

“Ohhh…,” Dominic wriggled his eyebrows which only added to his sudden mysterious behavior. “Just wait till you see what happens in season four.” He let the words float in the air, thoroughly enjoying that Elijah had no idea what he was talking about.

“What?” Elijah asked again and leaned back a little, studying Dominic’s pleased face. “What happens in season four?”

Dominic just continued looking at the TV with that particular grin that only increased Elijah’s curiosity.

“Dominic fucking shitload of middle names Monaghan!” Elijah exclaimed with laughter and put his bottle on the table so he could cross his arms in exasperation.

Dominic laughed and finally looked at him, his eyes sparkling with mischievousness. Elijah could tell how much he enjoyed this.

“Awww patience, baby. I’m not gonna spoil you this time.”

“Oh yes, you will,” Elijah said determined. “Come on, just a hint…” His eyes suddenly grew bigger than they already were. “Is Geoffrey gonna die?”

Grunting and shaking his head, Dominic almost choked on the beer he had just gulped down.

“Of course not!”

“Oh well, I’ll find out,” Elijah unfolded his arms and reached for his bottle. “Google is my friend.”

Dominic stared at him and raised his finger in a teasing threatening manner. “Don’t you dare…Seriously, it’s a nice surprise, you’d regret it if you spoil yourself.”

“Okay okay,” Elijah tried to concentrate on the current episode and even managed to follow the plot for a while. Dominic grinned at him from time to time. Elijah really was as impatient as a little kid sometimes, or even worse. But for nothing in the world Dominic wanted to miss the look on Elijah’s face during that particular scene. It was just a few seconds long, but it would be worth the tease. He could already see the stunned expression, the wide eyes and then of course that adorable giggle in his ears.

Setting his half empty beer bottle on the coffee table right next to him, Dominic yawned silently and slid down until his head hit a couch pillow. He removed his legs from the armchair and stretched them out on the couch. Elijah kept his bottle in his hand as he settled down against him, ending up in a comfortable position between the backrest and Dominic’s body.

“Hmm, that’s a pretty boring episode,” Dominic snorted and yawned again.

Elijah took a last sip of beer before putting the bottle down on the floor. “All the cases aren’t really that thrilling. Where are the mass murderers and serial killers?”

Dominic chuckled quietly, already feeling rather drowsy. “Hetty is an old lady, Lij. She doesn’t deal with that kind of stuff.”

“Mmm, too bad…” Elijah rested his head on Dominic’s rising and falling chest and watched the TV screen where Hetty just learnt that the man in question was a gambler and a gigolo with several identities. A few minutes passed by and Elijah could feel the change in Dominic’s breathing. He didn’t even have to look up to see that Dominic had dozed off to sleep. Not that he could blame him. It had been a long, exhausting day that had left them both pretty knackered. Still Elijah was reluctant to fall asleep yet. He loved it whenever he was lying awake, cuddled up against Dominic’s sleeping body, watching his peaceful face. There was such serenity about it. He would always reach up and brush his fingers against that face which was so beautiful and perfect in his eyes. Dominic was nothing but beautiful and perfect in his eyes, no matter what he himself might think. Softly stroking the skin of Dominic’s upper arm that his muscle shirt revealed, Elijah continued watching the episode till the end. He didn’t understand why Dominic hated his acting on this show. Elijah thought this role couldn’t have been cast any better as Dominic’s natural cheekiness and his boyish charms were almost enough to bring the character to life. Elijah loved it. No wonder Peter had given Dominic the part of one of the main hobbits after he had lost the role of Frodo to Elijah. And Elijah would be forever grateful for that.

The end credits and that familiar tune again. Elijah knew it would be stuck in his head until he was falling asleep. He grinned and struggled to get up, careful not to disturb Dominic. Yawning and stretching, he moved into the bathroom and removed his contacts. Then he went into the bedroom. It was pitch-dark outside and one very close glance at the alarm clock told him that it was almost midnight. Pulling the blanket off the bed, Elijah carried it into the living-room where Dominic was still lying in the exact same position, except one leg now dangled off the couch, the foot on the floor. Elijah turned off the TV as well as the DVD player and quietly lowered himself back into the comfortable space between backrest and Dominic. He covered them both with the blanket, using Dominic’s chest as his pillow and sighing contently, glad that he had not caused any major damages with his short-sightedness.

 

As he was lying in the darkness, listening to Dominic’s calm breathing and feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest, Elijah recalled the past almost three weeks they had been spending here. The picnic on their special shore, stormy afternoons and evenings in front of the TV watching mindless shows or movies, romantic strolls through the breathtaking nature, endless hours of lovemaking, but also the nightmare and the Dominic’s breakdown. They had bonded in a way that was beyond Elijah’s comprehension. All he did understand about them was that everything they had been through, everything they had survived so far, was nothing that he regretted. The bad times belonged to them, they shaped them just as much as the good times did. And that was a very comforting thought, especially regarding their future and what was to come once they were back in the “real world”. They would spend many days apart, they would have to hide again, they would have to live with the pressure. But they were now at a point where all that appeared endurable and not overly threatening anymore. It was a prospect that they were convinced they could handle. And just a few days before they had to reenter that particular world, this was indeed a comforting thought.

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

The bread tasted dry in his mouth, but Elijah chewed on it slowly. He heard Sean talk next to him.

“I don’t usually hold with foreign food, but this Elvish stuff…it’s not bad.”

Elijah wanted to gulp the small bite he had taken down, but suddenly had to choke involuntarily. Tiny crumbs slid down his throat, making him burst into a fit of coughing. Dropping the rest of the lembas bread, he clutched at his chest as he gasped for air and coughed at the same time.

“Cut!” Peter shouted and Elijah could feel someone pat his back heavily. It was Sean. A crew member quickly handed him a water bottle and Elijah took a generous gulp. It worked wonders.

“Breathe, Elijah. Just breathe calmly,” Sean said with concern, still patting his back but a little more gently now.

“I’m trying,” Elijah managed to croak and got up from the rock he had been sitting on just as Peter came to stand in front of him. Winter was approaching quickly, but that didn’t keep the director from wearing his trademark shorts. At least he had a jacket on, but it wasn’t zipped up. Unlike him, Elijah felt bone chillingly cold up here at this location.

“Everything okay, Elijah?” Peter asked, placing a hand on the soft fabric of the cloak around Elijah’s shoulders. “That bread sure is a danger I didn’t reckon with.”

Elijah couldn’t help but smile, but he was also feeling a little embarrassed by his little mishap.

“Nah, my bad,” he said, taking another sip of water. “Guess my throat was a little parched. I’ll live.”

As usual, Peter showed nothing but sympathy and friendliness, something he always did, even when things went wrong. Choking on lembas bread was a minor disaster, but even when bigger mistakes happened, Peter never lost his composure. Sometimes Elijah wondered if the director was even capable of freaking out, but he doubted it. Peter Jackson was the personification of relaxed tranquility which was amazing considering that he was in the middle of filming the biggest movie trilogy ever, about a book that many considered unfilmable. However, Elijah thought that was probably the big secret of why working with Peter was going so smoothly and why it never lost its passion. Peter wasn’t just a huge Lord of the Rings fan and expert, deep inside he was also a hobbit himself. If anyone could do this, it was him.

“Ah, it’s alright,” Peter smiled, rubbing Elijah’s shoulder before letting go of it. “Just drink some more water and we’ll repeat this in a minute.”

“Okay. Sorry Pete,” Elijah still had his embarrassed smile on his face.

“Happens to the biggest pros,” Sean remarked with a chuckle and put the lembas bread which was wrapped in a Mallorn leaf he was still holding in his hand back into Sam’s backpack.

“Yeah well,” Elijah shrugged and lifted the bottle to his lips with a smirk. “At least it’ll make a good blooper. And you can’t be perfect all the time, you know.”

“Nope, not even you, Mr. Wood,” Sean grinned, stretching his arms and looking briefly over to his wife and his daughter who were on set today. He loved it whenever his family could be with him when he was filming. That was a huge privilege that this job offered and Sean found that he really needed it. On this day they were shooting scenes of Frodo and Sam struggling through the craggy, impassable highland of Emyn Muil, making their way towards the Black Gate to get into Mordor. Their location for this area as well as for Mordor were the slopes of Mount Ruapehu in the Tongariro National Park in the center of the North Island. Mount Ruapehu was the largest active volcano in New Zealand, its neighbor, Mount Ngauruhoe, would be the stand-in for the menacing Mount Doom after some digital altering. The rocky ranges of hills in the Ruapehu terrain were ideal. Up here it really felt like they were in a completely different world.

Waving over at Christine and Alexandra, Sean turned back around when Peter spoke again.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” he said, “but I noticed that you guys have become far less…shall I say tense? Am I right?”

Elijah and Sean looked at each other, both feeling rather ashamed. Their behavior hadn’t been the most professional lately, otherwise Peter would have been oblivious to their issues.

“Yeah,” Elijah began, brushing his fingers against his curly Frodo wig as he scratched the side of his head. “It was a little difficult. It was me, I had some personal problems, but it’s sorted out now.”

“No need to worry, Pete,” Sean assured him. He could kick himself. It was his fault. His awful behavior had affected his relationship with Elijah and of course no one could hide that. Great job, Astin, he told himself grimly. Sean was a perfectionist. He was an enthusiastic, eager actor and everything he did he wanted to do the best way possible.

“It was me actually.”

Peter raised an eyebrow and looked at them with his arms folded in front of his chest.

“Well, whatever it was, I’m glad you worked it out. The major scenes with you two are yet to come. But there was just something about you that struck me odd. If it had been too bad, I would have addressed you sooner of course. You know it’s crucial that you let your friendship flow into your performances. And you seemed to have a nice friendship at the beginning. But you also know that you can always come to me if you have problems, yeah?”

“We know,” Sean said quickly, not really feeling any better. “We still have this friendship, right Lij?”

Elijah smiled sympathetically, somehow knowing what Sean was thinking. He knew Sean and he knew how overly animated and eager he could be when it came to his acting. That wasn’t a bad trait, but sometimes it could become a little too much. And he also knew that Sean was already blaming himself enough for what had happened. In this respect he was a lot like Elijah who had only gradually learnt to let go of the past mistakes.

“Sure we do, Sean,” he said and turned to Peter. “The thing is, I had some problems getting used to a lot of things and some self-doubt and some, well…pressure, but it’s all over now. I got to know a lot of stuff about myself that I hadn’t known before, so now I can go back to the beginning and start all over again. I’m feeling really motivated.”

Elijah knew he was speaking very generally and he hoped Peter wouldn’t ask for any details. He didn’t want to lie, but he couldn’t tell the whole truth either. Peter unfolded his arms and looked at Elijah with a frown.

“That sounds like a tough crisis there, Elijah,” he said in a concerned tone. “Why didn’t you tell me? As a director I need to be sure that my actors are doing well and feeling comfortable, especially during such a long shoot. Do you want to tell me what was going on?”

Glancing at Sean, Elijah could see the fear in the green eyes, though of course Sean was trying very hard not to show it. Peter would understand, wouldn’t he? He was such a generous, caring, unique person and director. The rest of the crew was busy getting their cameras ready for the next take. Elijah looked at Peter again and opened his mouth.

“No, thank you very much, Pete” he finally said, the words ringing loudly in his own ears. One day. Not yet. Definitely not yet. “Really, I’m fine now. It’s in the past, I’m over it. Sean helped me a lot.”

Sean’s eyes grew big and he momentarily forgot about his struggle to look normal and composed. Elijah not only kept their quarrel secret, he was also willing to protect Sean in this. Oh Lij, why are you doing this, he wondered as he stared at Elijah. Why don’t you tell Pete what an asshole I’ve been? Because that would mean that he’ll have to say what was really going on, every detail, and that would mean he’ll have to out himself and tell Peter that his Frodo is gay. And not just that, but he’s together with another hobbit. Great idea, Astin.

Peter just nodded and then smiled. “Okay. I know we’re all going through something big here and this is an enormous and sometimes frightening experience. You all came here from all parts of the world and you had to adjust to a lot. But you guys are doing great, really, each and every one of you. I couldn’t have wished for a better cast.”

The words didn’t miss their aim. Elijah and Sean smiled genuinely and looked at each other. From that moment on they knew they could achieve anything. They were not only in the process of rebuilding their friendship. They would throw everything they had, everything they were capable of, into their performances and move the audience to tears. They were Frodo and Sam after all, the heart and soul of the movies.

“Thank you, Pete,” they said simultaneously and Peter pulled them into a hug.

“I really mean it,” he said, patting their backs. When he pulled back again, something caught his eyes and he audibly gasped. “Look at that!”

Elijah and Sean turned around, following his gaze. What they saw took their breaths away. In the distance, above the rocky volcano slopes, a mist had begun to come up that provided the landscape with a mysterious, gloomy look. It was an enchanting sight, almost like out of a creepy fairytale.

“They really didn’t lie when they said that the weather can change quickly up here,” Elijah chuckled. Scratching his beard, Peter contemplated for a moment.

“Excellent,” he murmured and then his face lit up. “Change of schedule. We’ll take advantage of that. It’s perfect for the scene where Frodo and Sam can practically smell Gollum’s presence.”

Sean was delighted by that. He understood Peter’s plan and thought he couldn’t have done it better himself. “But only smell, right? I mean, Andy is not on set today.”

“Yeah, sure,” Peter said. “You know, Frodo and Sam cross the rocks and smell something foul and menacing in the air and Frodo senses that they’re not alone.”

Turning around, he clapped his hands and shouted to his crew. “Alright attention everyone! Grab your stuff, we’re moving over there!”

And with that, he slowly began to make his way into said direction.

“Genius,” Sean said as he and Elijah followed the director. Lowering his voice, he added, “It was good that you didn’t say anything. I thought you would, you really had me scared there for a moment.”

“I’m glad I managed to keep my mouth shut,” Elijah murmured back, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hobbit pants. “Pete has enough to deal with already, he doesn’t need this on top of that.”

Sean eyed him from the side and was silent for a minute as they walked across the stony terrain. The mist increased rather quickly.

“You even said that I helped you,” Sean eventually said, sounding like he still couldn’t believe it. “That was…I don’t know…a little unexpected, to be honest. I acted like a total asshole.”

“You did help me, Sean. You helped both Dom and me, believe it or not,” Elijah looked at him seriously and Sean stopped walking, staring back at Elijah like he was a ghost.

“I helped you?” he asked incredulously. “How the hell did I help you?”

Stepping closer to Sean, Elijah spoke even more quietly. He took a deep breath, not really sure if he should say this after all.

“You wanna know why? We didn’t jump into this relationship. In fact, I didn’t want to at first because I was shit scared as you can imagine. I even tried to ignore my feelings, I thought it would go away after some time, but it only got stronger. Dom knew from the beginning on that fate must have brought us together. Not just him and me, all of us. I thought about that and it really made sense to me, but after you broke us apart and we got back together, I’m convinced that he’s right. During that time when we were apart, when we thought everything was over, we realized just what we mean to each other, you know. That’s all I want to tell you about this. You are my friend, Sean, really you are, but this is a very personal and intimate subject. I just want you to know how we feel now about all the shit that happened.”

Sean let the words sink in as he listened and he was surprised that they did make him feel a little better. Elijah and Dominic obviously tried to focus on the positive outcome of their clash. It was probably the best way to deal with it if they wanted to move on and not constantly look back. Sean had often admired Elijah, personally as well as professionally, but in this very moment Elijah was more mature and self-confident than Sean had ever seen him before.

“I…,” Sean began, realizing that he was anything but self-confident right now. “I’m glad you guys no longer hold any grudge against me and I like what you said about fate. God, I don’t know what to say…I’m so ashamed…”

Looking down at his hairy feet for a moment, Sean trailed off, but a gentle hand on his shoulder made him look up again. A soft, comforting smile was on Elijah’s face.

“I know,” he said. “I was ashamed too and hated myself after what I did to Dom. But believe me, it’s better to drop the self-blame and self-hate because if you don’t, it’ll haunt you forever and always burden you. We all have to be able to forgive and forget.”

Sean nodded and even managed to smile back. “Yeah…you’re right…thank you so much, Lij.”

Then he found himself in a tight embrace as Elijah pulled him against him. “You know,” Elijah murmured into his ear, “this ‘life imitates art’ thing is really nice and all, but don’t take it too far. Unlike Frodo I’m not corrupted and I’m perfectly able to make the right decisions for me. Be my friend, not my minder, okay?”

Sean withdrew from the hug and chuckled quietly. “Okay. I suppose I really took it too far this time. I’m already a pain in the ass with all my safety issues and my Sam issues. I need a kick in the ass sometimes, so I can function properly again.”

They began to walk again and Elijah grinned. “Yeah, and you know we other hobbits will always be there to kick it whenever you need it.”

“I can always rely on you guys,” Sean said, smiling. “Come on now, let’s rock this thing. Literally.”

While they were strolling across the rocky plateau, they rehearsed their lines once more, both of them feeling lighthearted and cheery, knowing that they had made another big step into the right direction.

 

~**~

 

The sun was slowly disappearing behind the volcano mountain range as Elijah puffed on his clove, watching and enjoying the sight while he was waiting. He was standing in front of the Bayview Grand Chateau Hotel in the Tongariro National Park, the spectacular place they stayed at while filming scenes in and around Mordor. The hotel was the epitome of luxury and the location couldn’t be more beautiful with its spectacular background of the Ruapehu, Ngauruhoe and Tongariro volcanoes. The peaceful silence, the view, the magnificent building behind him, it all left Elijah in a state of awe-struck fascination and the amazing feeling just how lucky they all were to be here. What a privilege it was working in such a place, where you had this awesome landscape practically everywhere around you. He was aware that this was more than just a job. He had come to this realization a long time ago, actually when they had started filming and started experiencing the beauty that New Zealand had to offer. Elijah had never felt more lucky and thankful before in his life.

Turning away from the volcano sight, he gazed at the highway as the headlights of a car appeared in the distance. His heart beat faster and he stubbed the cigarette out, shoving both his hands into the pockets of his jeans as they had suddenly grown rather clammy and shaky. This must be the right car. Many had passed already and every time Elijah had been disappointed when none of them had entered the driveway of the hotel. But this one did. The car came to stand in the parking lot and Elijah approached it on shaking legs. Why was he so fucking nervous? No, not nervous. Excited. He opened the passenger door and smiled happily as he caught the shrieking and chuckling person in his arms.

“Oh my God, I thought I’d never get here!” Hannah exclaimed as she hugged Elijah tight who hugged her back just as tight.

“Sorry about that,” Elijah grinned and looked over her shoulder at the driver, a member of the film crew. “Must have been an awfully long trip, but I’m so fucking happy you’re here!”

“Me too!” Hannah pulled out of the embrace and turned around, smiling and waving at the driver who got her luggage from the trunk. “Thanks so much for the ride.”

“No problem,” the man said. “Want me to carry this inside for you?”

“No thanks, I’ll do that,” Elijah said. “Thanks very much.”

The man just nodded and smiled, wishing them a good night before disappearing into the hotel.

Elijah hugged his sister again, not yet believing that she was really here. It was a happy yet weird feeling, having someone from his own family here now.

“Wow,” he said as he looked at her. “You still have the same hairstyle that you had on Christmas. What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh well,” Hannah ran a hand through her blonde hair. “I’m quite happy with this one. Holy shit…”

Gasping and crossing her arms, she took a few steps back and studied the hotel building in its entire splendor, with its blue roof, the red bricks in the middle, the bright yellowish bottom part, the pillars surrounding the entrance and the oldish style. “They’re really pampering you guys here, aren’t they?”

Elijah smirked and grabbed her suitcase. “Hey, who are we to object when Pete lets us stay at such a place. Besides, this is the only hotel in this area, so we really didn’t have much of a choice.”

“Oh, how convenient for you,” she chuckled and they slowly moved towards the entrance. “Seriously, nothing can knock me off my feet anymore. I already fell in love with this country on my way here. Woah…”

Entering the building and standing in the middle of the reception hall, Hannah took an overwhelmed look around. It didn’t occur very often that Elijah saw his sister this speechless and impressed. Leaning in to him, she mumbled in a humble voice.

“Makes me feel a little bit…mediocre.”

Elijah giggled as he led her to the elevator. “You certainly won’t get bored here. It’s amazing, this place has everything. A cinema, a golf course, billiard tables, gym, sauna, pool, tennis court, a thousand bars…”

“Too bad that you guys have to work,” she grinned. “Though I have to as well, right? No, I’m allowed to! You really sure that Peter Jackson will let me do a cameo?”

“Sure I’m sure,” Elijah pushed a button and the elevator door closed. “You can get to know him tomorrow. You have to meet all the guys, you’ll love them!”

“One guy in particular, hmm?” Hannah winked, leaning back against the elevator wall. Something in Elijah’s eyes suddenly changed and she swore she could see a bright sparkle in them. It was amazing, she had never seen Elijah in a relationship before, not in a real one, that is. The fling with that girl was not even worth talking about and, above all, it hadn’t been genuine. But this one was different, entirely different, Hannah could tell already.

“I know you’ll call me crazy when I tell you that I’m nervous about your first meeting,” Elijah confessed and felt himself blushing ten shades of red.

“Awww Lij, come on,” she cocked her head and smiled sweetly. “Don’t be silly. I’m not nervous, I’m excited. Is he here now?”

Biting her bottom lip, she waited for an answer and was a little crushed when it was negative.

“No, he’s filming in a studio in Wellington, but he’ll be here soon. All the guys will be here since they’re shooting the Black Gate and Pelennor scenes.”

“Oh okay,” Hannah said, clearly noticing the gloomy tone behind her brother’s words. “That must suck, always being apart and all.”

“Yeah,” Elijah sighed and wanted to say something more, but they had reached their floor and the door opened. Pulling his key card out of his pocket when they arrived at his room, he opened the door and let Hannah enter the room first before he followed her with her luggage.

“I’ll definitely be able to endure this stay,” she remarked as she took in the luxurious room. “Oh, two beds even.”

“I figured we’re not the right age to sleep in the same bed anymore,” he chuckled, slipping out of jacket. “Not even if it was king size.”

“Mmm,” Hannah flopped down on the vacant bed and took off her jacket. “When are the others coming here?”

Elijah picked up the receiver of the telephone on the nightstand. “In three days. I’ll order you some food, you must be starving.”

“Thanks,” she smiled and got up again, studying every corner of the room while Elijah talked to the room service guy on the other end of the line. Hanging up again, he sat down on the bed and looked at Hannah who was gazing out the window. She whistled quietly through her teeth and turned around again.

“That sunset, wow…,” she said and took one final look outside. “We’re from the wrong country, huh?”

Flopping back down on her bed, she leaned back on her hands. “So, you’re filming in the whole country? I can’t really imagine that.”

“Well, lots of studio scenes get shot in Wellington,” Elijah explained. “Like Dom and Billy are doing their Treebeard scenes there, but the landscape shots are all over the country. Mordor is right on the doorstep here,” he added with a chuckle.

“Ah, I see. But isn’t that totally stressful, I mean, your director can’t be at two places at the same time, right?”

“Oh no, he’s not directing everything himself. We’ve got up to nine units practically everywhere and assistant directors are in charge there. But Pete has his monitors on set on which he can see what’s going on at the other sets, so he always has control and can get in touch with his assistants.”

Hannah shook her head with a grin. “Wow, that sounds totally crazy. And that really works?”

“Surprisingly it does,” Elijah smiled. “Organized chaos at its best.”

His smile faded a little. “And the different locations issue…well, it’s not like we never see each other. We’re doing scenes for all three movies, so the hobbits get together occasionally and also with the other guys. Just not as often as we did at the beginning. Now it’s more scattered and every group does their thing. But Dom and I just spent three lovely weeks in Te Anau on the South Island during our break last month.”

“Hmm, sounds almost like a long distance relationship,” Hannah said, glad when her comment brought Elijah’s smile back. “It’s really true that Ian McKellen is gay, too?”

Elijah nodded. “Yeah, gay and out. And I know, we probably should ask him for advice, but ah…I don’t know…”

“When and how did he come out?”

“I haven’t asked him,” Elijah replied, like the mere thought of the question had never even crossed his mind. “He doesn’t make a business out of it and he doesn’t make a fuss over being gay. He just is and he doesn’t have a problem with showing it. I really admire that.”

Hannah got up from her bed and sat down next to Elijah, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. She could sense how he was getting a little moody, probably the absence of Dominic affected him more than he wanted to admit.

“And I admire you, you know that, big bro?” she asked with a gentle smile. “I mean, just look at you now. I can hardly remember coming to LA for the first time, but I do remember you getting your first little role in the Back To The Future sequel and how proud we were…”

“That one-line part?” Elijah looked at her with a grin that seemed lightly strained.

“It was a cool one-line part,” Hannah said, still in a cheerful tone. “Anyway, you know I always looked up to you and I still do now. You survived Hollywood as a child star and now you’re here, playing frigging Frodo in New Zealand! You know, you don’t owe anything to anyone and certainly no explanation of your sexuality. I just don’t wanna see you running yourself down because you can’t be like someone else. There are so many things about you that are admirable, not just to me but to millions of people out there.”

Elijah looked up from his hands and into her eyes. He would never be able to express how much Hannah meant to him. She was so much unlike other little sisters. Well, being 16 years old was hardly being little anymore. She had always been his rock, as he had always been hers, and they had repeatedly managed to pull each other out of any dark holes, especially during their parents’ divorce. And having her here now, in New Zealand during this particular phase of his life, made him feel eternally grateful.

“I’m not running myself down,” he said, this time his lips forming a genuine smile. “Not anymore. I do wish I could be like Ian, but really, I can’t, and that’s okay. I feel much safer with how things are now anyway. Maybe, one day I’ll be in the position to stand up and say fuck you all, I like men and if you have a problem with that, it’s your problem. But I’m no longer feeling like a mediocre person and that’s only because of Dom. Don’t ask me what he has done for me, that list is endless.”

Chuckling quietly and squeezing Elijah’s shoulder, Hannah studied her brother’s face closely. The different emotions on it, going from lightly moody to suddenly blissful when he mentioned Dominic was striking.

“Stop it, you’re making me more and more curious here! How am I supposed to hold out three more days?”

“How am _I_ supposed to hold out three more days?” Elijah countered, making them both giggle. A knock on the door indicated that the ordered food was there.

“Room service, reliable as always,” Elijah got up and moved to the door. The service man rolled the trolley into the room and Elijah gave him a few dollar bills. Then they were alone again, the scent of the food filled the room.

“Oh, before I forget it,” Hannah jumped up and opened her suitcase. “Mom gave me this for you, sending all her love.”

She pulled out a small cooler bag and opened it. Then she handed the box that was inside to Elijah.

“Awww,” he smiled as he removed the top. “Homemade potato salad. Now life here is really perfect.”

“She’s also sorry she can’t be here, but you know, work and all.”

“I understand,” Elijah inhaled the scent and sighed blissfully. “Still smells like freshly made. Thanks very much, mom.”

They spent the rest of the evening eating and talking, simply enjoying each other’s familiar and much missed company. It was strange but also very comforting for Elijah to have someone sleep in the same room after he had spent the previous nights all alone, falling asleep while thinking of Dominic. And especially after sleeping next to him for three weeks in a row back in Te Anau. Three more days, then two of the most important people in his life would finally get to know each other. That night Elijah fell asleep with a smile on his face.

 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

Elijah opened the door to his hotel room, feeling utterly knackered from the day. Filming the Mordor scenes was just as exhausting as he had imagined they would be, physically of course, but above all mentally. The end of the journey, Frodo and Sam at their destination, the peak of the story. And they hadn’t even filmed all of the previous scenes yet. It was weird not shooting chronologically, but surprisingly it worked. They had to throw everything they had into their performances and it worked. 

Closing the door, Elijah saw Hannah standing by the window and talking to someone on the phone. She turned around and smiled at him.

“He just came in,” she told the person on the other end of the line. “Yeah, bye mom.”

Hannah held the phone out to Elijah who took it with a happy smile.

“Hi,” he said, leaning against the window and running a hand through his tousled hair. “Of course, I’m taking good care of her, as always.”

Patting Elijah’s back approvingly, Hannah silently signaled him that she would be out for a smoke and he nodded. Grabbing her jacket, she left the room and headed straight for the elevator. She had been here for two days now, watching Elijah on set and checking out the different hotel facilities. Peter was one of the nicest people she had ever met in her life. She had visited Elijah on almost every movie set so far, so she had gotten to know a lot of different directors and other film crew staff, but nobody was comparable to Peter. Hannah was glad that he was the one who was in charge of this 16 months shoot and not some freaky, stern asshole that would possibly give Elijah a hard time. Despite being three years younger than him, Hannah couldn’t help but want to look after her brother, but Elijah was the same with her, so it was more like mutual protection.

The reception hall was brightly and elegantly lit at this time of day and it didn’t fail to amaze Hannah as she made her way through it, looking around in awe. A luxurious place like this in this area, surrounded by volcanoes, was truly something extraordinary. But she wouldn’t stay here for very long. She would soon go to Wellington to film her little cameo at Helm’s Deep. How she was looking forward to it. Putting her hand into the pocket of her jacket, Hannah pulled out the pack of cigarettes just as two guys walked towards her, coming from the reception desk and carrying suitcases. They were chatting with each other, obviously about something pretty funny. They moved right past her, chuckling and talking, and normally Hannah wouldn’t have paid further attention to them. But what she heard made her stop dead in her track and turn around with a jerk. The voice of one of the guys sounded awfully familiar, like she had heard it countless times before. Her eyes widened and she quickly opened her mouth.

“Excuse me!” she called after them, feeling a little embarrassed for raising her voice in this fancy hall, but nobody seemed to mind. She didn’t have to rush after them. The two guys stopped walking and chatting and turned around to her with confused yet friendly expressions.

Shoving the pack back into the pocket of her jacket, Hannah made a few steps towards them with a smile. She focused the guy on the right with penetrating eyes, the guy whose voice was so unmistakable, she would have recognized it anywhere.

“You don’t happen to be…I mean…sorry, aren’t you Dominic?”

The guy narrowed his eyes and then suddenly a wide smile spread on his face.

“No way,” he grinned at her, putting his bag on the floor. “Hannah?”

She nodded eagerly and reached out her hand for a timid handshake. Dominic took it, but instead of a simple greeting, he pulled her into a tight hug.

“Hannah?” Billy asked, taking a closer look at the young girl. At first when she had called after them, he had thought she was just a fan, someone who had recognized them, which didn’t happen very often. “You’re Elijah’s sister?”

When Dominic released her, Billy hugged Hannah as well.

“Yes, I am, the one and only. And you must be Billy then,” she giggled, before looking at Dominic again. Somehow she had the odd impression that she had known him for years already. She couldn’t deny that he was indeed pretty handsome, not in the classic, mainstream way, but in a very special way, just like Elijah had described him. There was something about him that just fascinated you. 

“I can’t believe I almost marched past you without even noticing you. You look just like a female Elijah, doesn’t she, Billy?” Dominic asked him, but didn’t take his eyes off Hannah. “It’s so bloody great to finally meet you! I imagined you were pretty, but this pretty…,” he whistled, chuckling at the light blush that appeared on her face. Just like Elijah.

“Oh stop it, I’m the one who’s happy to finally meet you,” she said. “And wow, please never stop talking, okay? This voice…sounds even greater than on the phone…”

“It’s the accent, huh?” Billy slapped Dominic’s back gently and grinned. “For some weird reason American girls seem to fall for the British accent much more than they do for the Scottish accent.”

“That’s probably because they can hardly understand you,” Dominic grinned back at him.

“No no, it’s not just the accent, it’s the tone,” Hannah explained, still a little blown away by the sudden, unexpected meeting. “It’s so deep and lightly raspy…woah, awesome,” she giggled, not even aware that she was about to get into gushing raptures over her own brother’s boyfriend.

“Why, thank you very much, Miss Hannah,” Dominic half bowed to her and over-emphasized his accent. “I’ll be happy to please you with my voice anytime you like…”

Taking a look around the fancy yet rather crowded hall, Billy tapped on Dominic’s shoulder. “Maybe we should continue this in a more private place, hmm?”

“Excellent idea,” Dominic agreed and picked up his luggage from the floor. “Is Elijah in his room?”

“Yeah, he is,” Hannah said, burying her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “I was just about to have a smoke outside when I bumped into you. But Elijah said you would arrive tomorrow, not today.”

“Well,” Dominic cocked his head and put on a mysterious smirk. “Not even Elijah knows everything. It’s too much fun seeing his surprised face. You gonna come with us?”

“I won’t miss this for any cigarette in the world!” Hannah exclaimed and together the three of them made their way over to the elevator. 

“What is it with you Woods?” Dominic asked when they were inside and Hannah pushed the button. “I met Elijah in front of a hotel for the first time, and now I meet you almost in front of a hotel.”

“And what a hotel,” Billy added impressed as the elevator began to move.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Hannah leaned back against the wall with a smile. “Maybe it’s fate.”

She didn’t quite know what to make of Dominic’s wide eyes that stared at her for a moment, but then he began to giggle and shook his head.

“What?” she frowned, half puzzled, half amused. 

“I like you, I really like you,” Dominic stated, leaving her more amused than puzzled now. 

“I like you too, Dominic. I mean, Dom.”

Billy reached up and ruffled Dominic’s hair with his hand. “And I like you too, wanker.”

They reached the right floor and Hannah led the way to the room. Dominic and Billy came to stand right behind her as she arrived at the door and knocked. Clutching his bag in his hands, Dominic’s heart started to break into a run as he waited for the door to open. He hadn’t seen Elijah for almost two weeks. They had talked on the phone almost every night and those moments had kept them both going, knowing that the other one was still there. Not in person, but in mind. Every day. And the nights could be incredibly lonely. But that was over now, at least for a few days. After what felt like ages, the door was finally opened. Elijah was standing on the threshold, holding a phone to his ear with one hand, the other one tightly gripping the doorknob. Though Hannah was right in front of him, he didn’t seem to notice her at all. Neither did he seem to notice Billy. His eyes were fixed on one person.

“I…I think I…have to finish now, mom,” he stammered into the phone and moved backwards on shaking legs so Hannah, Billy and Dominic could enter.

Dominic didn’t know if Elijah had already hung up, but he just couldn’t wait any longer. Dropping his bag, he ardently scooped Elijah up into his arms and held him as tight as he could as Elijah flung his arms around his neck, forgetting about everyone and everything. He pressed his lips against Dominic’s in a deep kiss, his feet not touching the ground anymore as Dominic slowly twirled him around.

Hannah shut the door without looking away from the scene, her eyes big and stunned and an amused expression on her face.

“Woah,” she sniggered and glanced at Billy who was right beside her, looking equally amused. “Someone seems to be pretty happy right now.”

“Aye, that’s just Dom and Elijah, through and through,” he winked and crossed his arms in front of his chest, watching his friends who still didn’t look like they would pull away from each other anytime soon.

“Hey mates, get a grip, we’ve got an innocent lassie here!” he laughed.

“That’s okay,” Hannah smiled as she looked at Elijah who appeared to be miles away in this very moment. “It’s more than okay,” she said, more to herself than anyone else. Actually seeing Elijah with a guy was different from just hearing stories about it and she truly enjoyed every second of witnessing her brother in such an immersed state. She remembered the day Elijah had finally gathered enough courage to tell their mother everything. He had been a bundle of raw nerves despite Hannah’s constant reassurance. She had known that their mom would never push any of them away, no matter what might happen. Least of all for who they were. Elijah was still Elijah, nothing had changed that. And, what was most important, he himself had come to accept who he was. It was more than apparent. It was a different side of him, showing his relationship personality, that Hannah absolutely loved and that brought a smile to her face. A new side, brought up by a real, devoted, loving relationship. Elijah looked utterly smitten, simply at ease and happy. She felt even more proud of him than she already did for him playing Frodo.

Eventually the kiss slowed down until Dominic and Elijah broke it completely, but only to hug each other all the more tightly. Opening his eyes, Elijah seemed to finally become aware that they were not alone in the room. He smiled almost shyly over Dominic’s shoulder as he looked at Hannah and Billy.

“Sorry, guys,” he said, his arms locked around Dominic’s neck. His earlier tiredness was utterly gone by now. “Sometimes our manners get lost somewhere in nirvana.”

“No explanation needed,” Hannah chuckled, slipping out of her jacket and sitting down on her bed.

“You already met then? Geez, I can’t believe it, why didn’t you say that you would arrive today?” Elijah pulled away a little to look at Dominic who simply smirked mischievously.

“Would I have gotten such a greeting if you had known that we’d show up a day earlier?”

“Of course,” Elijah said in a loving, deep voice. “Two weeks apart are two weeks apart. I’m always happy to finally see you again.”

“Dom can be lucky to have such a prominent voice,” Billy let himself fall into a fluffy armchair at the wall. “Otherwise your sister would have totally missed us.”

Leaning back on her hands, Hannah watched as Dominic flopped down on the other bed and pulled Elijah onto his lap. She still couldn’t get the smile off her face and she didn’t want to.

“Yeah, I can understand you, Lij,” she said, crossing her legs and tilting her head to the side. “Who could resist that voice?”

“Hey, there’s more to me than just my voice,” Dominic mock-pouted at Hannah and she immediately felt his fascinating aura taking her over again.

“I see,” she chuckled. “Well, what can I say? Welcome to the family, Dom.”

Elijah smiled at her and then at Dominic who looked really touched by the words. It was still a little surreal, Dominic meeting someone from his family. His beloved sister. It meant a lot to Elijah and he couldn’t help but feel eternally grateful towards Hannah. It maybe wasn’t the typical, classic act of introducing your new boyfriend to the family, but they weren’t the typical, classic couple anyway. And knowing that Hannah was fond of Dominic made Elijah happier than he already was. But what else had he expected? He had told Hannah so much about Dominic back at Christmas, she certainly must have thought she knew him exactly even when she hadn’t met him yet in person. Elijah hoped he would get the chance to introduce Dominic to his mother as well soon. Of course he would also get to know Dominic’s family sooner or later, but somehow that thought made him feel more nervous than happy.

“Thanks very much, Hannah,” Dominic smiled at her before placing a quick kiss on Elijah’s lips. “It’s lovely to have you here with us. But you know, remember, no word to anyone.”

“Except Sean and Liv, they know everything,” Billy said, emitting a small sigh. “Took Sean a little longer to accept it.”

Hannah looked at him, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “Sean Astin? I met him yesterday, he seems really nice.”

“He is,” Elijah unconsciously tightened the hold of his arm around Dominic’s shoulder. “But he was against us at the beginning. We’re okay now.”

He hadn’t told Hannah anything about their initial fight with Sean and he felt bad about it now. He would have never told her any details though, that would have only freaked her out and gotten her worried when she couldn’t have done anything to help really. He was glad when she didn’t ask any further questions about it.

“Hmmm,” Hannah bit on her bottom lip. “Maybe he was just concerned. But I’m glad you got it sorted out. You and Dom have come so far already, don’t take shit from anyone. I’m really happy for you both,” she smiled.

“Thanks sis,” Elijah said gratefully and kissed Dominic’s lightly stubbly cheek.

“So Dom,” Hannah grinned at Dominic and briefly cleared her throat. “Sorry for asking this, but I have to because I’ve never met anyone who’s…you know…swinging both ways. What is it like, I mean…you know…,” she trailed off, chuckling at her messed up wording.

Billy laughed as he looked from her to Elijah. “You’ve got quite the nosy little sister there, Lij.”

“She’s still as innocent as I used to be before meeting this corrupting fellow here,” Elijah playfully pinched Dominic’s cheek.

“Nosy indeed,” Dominic nodded, absentmindedly weaving his fingers through Elijah’s soft hair. “I don’t know, I’ve never known any other way of living. It’s just normal to me, loving whoever you wanna love, no matter if it’s a boy or a girl. It’s very liberating.”

“Sounds very liberating,” Hannah remarked. “Are all Europeans like that?”

Dominic laughed and looked at Billy’s grinning face. “I don’t think so. Not every European is bi. Billy is totally gay.”

“Sodding wanker!” came back from the direction of the armchair.

“Nah, kidding. It’s not like you choose to live with a certain sexuality,” Dominic explained to Hannah who looked very attentive and interested. In this moment she very much reminded him of Elijah, when he had literally hung on his lips, absorbing every word as Dominic divulged all he needed to know about sexual matters to him.

“Either you are gay, bi or whatever or you’re not. You can decide to realize that and live it, or you can decide to suppress it. But you can’t change what you are. And thank God Lijah here decided to live it…”

Turning to Elijah at the last words, Dominic looked into his smiling face, knowing that they had indeed come a long way. If Elijah had decided to continue suppressing it instead of accepting it, Dominic would have been left behind, pining and yearning, struggling to get him out of his head. Which would have been impossible anyway since they were here for more than a year. And watching Elijah suppress who he really was had been bad enough back then, right after Elijah had told him they couldn’t do this. After their first kiss at Lake Te Anau. It had been painful, not just getting pushed away but also seeing Elijah crawl back into his dark, lonely hole of denial and suppression. If Elijah hadn’t come back to him after all, knocking on his door in that hotel in Queenstown, crying, kissing him and begging for forgiveness, Dominic wasn’t sure what he would have done.

Leaning in, Dominic kissed Elijah gently and lovingly, momentarily forgetting everything around him. He knew Elijah was thinking what he himself was thinking as his lightly watery eyes clearly hid his unshed tears of thankfulness and happiness.

Hannah watched them with a smile, reluctant to speak at the serene sight. She was aware that she would probably never grasp what these two had been through, let alone the depth of their feelings, and she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to. All she cared about was Elijah’s happiness and that was as clear as it could be.

“Thank God you both decided to live it,” she said at last. “I’m really happy to have you in the family, Dom.”

Dominic chuckled and ripped his eyes away from Elijah’s lovely face. “Not legally, but emotionally, yes?”

“Oh my God!” Hannah exclaimed excitedly. “How awesome would that be?”

“Oh well, let’s not go there,” Elijah said. “We’re happy with things how they are now, what more could we want?”

Hannah nodded and smiled, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward. She would have loved to continue talking some more, but they would still have a lot of time for that. She wanted to give them some alone time for now. 

“Well, I suppose you would like to be alone for a while, hmm?” she grinned and got up from the bed.

“Oh no no, you don’t have to flee,” Dominic quickly stopped her. “I have my own room, I can give Lij back to you later. Or tomorrow,” he suggested with a smirk.

“Yeah, you can have this room all for yourself,” Elijah added, waving his hand around like he was presenting the greatness of the room for the first time.

“Okay okay,” Hannah laughed and ran a hand through her hair in an exaggeratedly stuck up manner. “But if you come back later, be quiet. I need my beauty sleep.”

“So do we all,” Billy got up from his armchair and stretched his arms, suppressing a yawn. “Just don’t forget to get up tomorrow morning. We’ve still got a little film to shoot here,” he grinned.

They hugged each other good-bye for the night and Dominic and Billy grabbed their luggage again as they left Elijah’s room which would be Hannah’s room until the next morning. Or for a few more days. Dominic’s room was right down the corridor and since there was no one else in sight, he happily took Elijah’s hand with his free hand.

“Night mates,” Billy said before they parted. “Oh, and if someone’s banging at your door wildly in the middle of the night, that’s probably Orli.”

Dominic laughed. “Right, he’s coming with the other boys,” he said to Elijah.

“I miss our wild nights out in town,” Elijah sighed. “When we’re all together again in a big town, we gotta hit the pubs.”

“You bet,” Billy smirked and waved. “See ya.” And with that he headed down in the other direction of the corridor to his room.

Dominic briefly let go of Elijah’s hand to rummage around in his pocket. Pulling the keycard out of it, he inserted it into the card reader and the door opened. He put the card back into his pocket and pushed the door open.

“Yay, home sweet home,” he grabbed Elijah’s hand again and led him into the room, switching the light on.

“Not bad either,” Elijah remarked as he surveyed the fittings and furnishings. Everything was neatly arranged, from the table with a flower vase on it, the two comfy chairs, the big wardrobe and the kingsize bed.

Closing the door and dropping his suitcase in a corner, Dominic looked at him with a smile. “Have I ever said how bloody lucky we are?” he asked, taking off his jacket. 

“Yeah,” Elijah chuckled and peeked out the window. He could still make out the faint contours of the mountains in the fading daylight. “I was thinking just that when I got here first. I was standing outside the hotel waiting for Hannah and just looking into the distance. It’s so fucking beautiful.”

He turned around again, smiling at Dominic’s smiling face.

“Hannah is adorable, Lijah.”

“I knew you would get along.”

Dominic took a few steps towards Elijah who slowly moved towards him.

“Maybe I should try to hook her up with my brother. If only he wasn’t such a rootless cosmopolitan…,” he said quietly, his fingers moving up and down Elijah’s clad arms.

“Ohh,” Elijah purred, feeling the increasing romantic mood overwhelm him. “Double date…”

Dominic’s fingers slid up Elijah’s arms until his hands cupped that lovely, flawless face. Elijah’s eyes were as shiny and beautiful as ever as they looked into his own.

“I missed you, baby,” he mumbled, pressing his lips against Elijah’s rosy, soft mouth.

“Mmm…missed you too…,” Elijah whispered before the kiss got so deep that it consumed both of them, making it impossible for them to think, let alone speak. Dominic’s fingers stroked Elijah’s cheeks as his tongue buried itself in the mouth that he had missed for two long weeks. Their tongues caressed each other and Elijah let his hands move down Dominic’s body, finding the hem of his shirt and worming their way beneath the fabric. The rippling muscles were as tight as ever. Suddenly his feet were up in the air as Dominic lifted him up and carried him over to the bed where he lay him down on the neat sheets.

“I have something for you…and me…,” Dominic smirked down at Elijah when he pulled away from the damp lips.

“Mmm, I can kind of imagine…,” Elijah looked up with eyes that were already foggy with desire. Dominic kissed him once more before he quickly moved over to his suitcase and opened it. Elijah watched him, sitting up and kicking off his shoes. The bottle of lubricant looked wonderfully familiar to him and he switched on the nightstand lamp as Dominic switched off the light. The room immediately got a lot cozier. Leaning back on his elbows, Elijah spread his legs and Dominic felt almost knocked out by the view.

“Hello sexy…,” he purred as he reached down and fumbled with his shoes until they finally came off. The bulge in Elijah’s crotch was very striking.

“Seeing something you like?” Elijah asked with an enticing grin, letting his hand travel down between his legs, totally enjoying how Dominic’s eyes grew wider and wider.

“Ohh, there are one or two things,” Dominic stumbled to the bed, unbuttoning his own jeans on the way. “Or even more…”

Putting the bottle onto the nightstand, he climbed on the mattress and settled down in between Elijah’s legs, feeling the bulge press against his groin. “I know you have many delicious things hidden underneath all this disturbing stuff…”

Elijah sat up again and grabbed the waistband of Dominic’s now open pants, pushing them down over his hips and revealing a perfect, round butt. As he did so, he crashed his lips against Dominic’s in a fiery kiss and dropped the jeans on the floor. Dominic’s fingers were busy with Elijah’s sweatshirt, pulling at the fabric. Elijah raised his arms when Dominic pulled it up over his head. They remained in this kneeling position on the bed until the rest of the needless clothes were off and lay scattered on the floor. Locking his arms around Elijah’s body, Dominic pulled the younger man against his chest, enjoying the much missed feeling of his smooth, warm skin against his. Elijah had his arms tightly wrapped around Dominic’s neck, leaning against him, almost hanging on to him as the kiss grew less intense and more lazy. Both of them needed to catch some air after this breathtaking kiss.

“Missed you so much,” Elijah whispered, sounding like he was in a trance. He stroked the back of Dominic’s head as his lips withdrew and attached themselves to Dominic’s shoulder.

With one swift movement Elijah fell backwards, pulling Dominic with him and on top of him. Their fingers interlaced as Dominic lifted Elijah’s arms up over his head, trapping him beneath his body and pressing him into the mattress. Gazing down into Elijah’s lightly flushed face, the half-closed eyes, the plump bottom lip, the mouth slightly open as he panted a little, Dominic wondered how he had coped without this sight for so long. He kissed Elijah’s panting lips before moving down to his ear.

“Love you, baby…,” he hissed and then his mouth moved further down, licking and sucking as it went. Elijah closed his eyes in pure bliss as he felt wet lips all over his throat, collarbone and chest. His fingers which had been grasped by Dominic’s were suddenly free again as Dominic’s hands stroked up and down his incredibly smooth torso. Elijah left his hands above his head, clutching at the sheets and savoring each of Dominic’s motions. He felt Dominic’s hands beneath his buttocks and his hips lifted off the mattress a little. Opening his eyes a crack, all Elijah saw was his own rigid cock jutting out from his pelvis and Dominic’s open mouth hovering over it. His eyes rolled back in his head and closed again as soon as Dominic engulfed his cock with his moist lips.

“Ohh…fuck…,” Elijah panted almost inaudibly. Dominic was crouching between his legs, his hands still underneath Elijah’s butt to hold his hips up, like he was drinking from a bowl. His lips slid up and down the hard, pink shaft, feeling the pulsating veins and tasting the salty slit. Elijah’s moans which gradually became louder filled his ears, turning him even more on than he already was. He opened his eyes to peek down the writhing body in front of him. Elijah’s upper body was glistening with a fine sheen of sweat, his eyes tightly shut and his lips parted. An erotic, sexy sight that Dominic could not enjoy for very long as his own body and mind, foggy with passion and desire, demanded more. After another lick and suck, he released Elijah’s wet and now very swollen cock and lowered his hips onto the sheets again. Crawling up Elijah’s hot body, Dominic kissed him and blindly reached for the bottle on the nightstand.

“Ready to get ready for me?” he hissed against the parted lips and Elijah opened his eyes to look at him. He nodded faintly.

“You fucking bet…”

Dominic smirked, opening the bottle of lubricant and squeezing a large amount onto the palm of his left hand. He put the bottle aside and rubbed his palms together in order to warm the cool gel up. Then he gathered as much of it as he could on his forefinger and middle finger and reached down between Elijah’s spread legs. Pushing the slick fingers into Elijah’s tight entrance, Dominic coated the area that he could reach and stretched his fingers. Elijah groaned and bent his legs, allowing better access, his fingers digging into Dominic’s shoulder blades. Dominic pressed his lips against Elijah’s in a deep kiss while his fingers probed and stretched the hole some more. The lube wasn’t enough, so he took the bottle again and held it right to where his fingers had just been. He squeezed the gel right into Elijah’s entrance, knowing that the coolness could be quite arousing down there when the rest of the body was already on fire. And he was right. Elijah shuddered and groaned into Dominic’s mouth, lifting his hips involuntarily. Dominic grinned and pulled away, giving Elijah the chance to breathe more freely.

“Feels good, hmm?” he asked, letting go of the bottle and pushing his fingers into Elijah to continue preparing him.

“Fucking…cool…,” Elijah panted, looking up at Dominic through half-open eyes and a smirk on his face. Dominic smiled, stroking Elijah’s hair with his free hand and kissing his sweaty forehead. Gradually he felt that Elijah was stretched and slick enough, so he removed his dripping fingers. Elijah opened his eyes and reached for the bottle.

“Mmm…gimme that…,” he demanded with a low voice, staring down at Dominic’s erected cock. Dominic chuckled and leaned back on his elbows, as Elijah had done before. 

“Come and get it,” he said, watching as Elijah began to apply a generous amount of lube onto his cock. His fingers half squeezed, half massaged the pulsating organ, coating it until it was dripping. Dominic couldn’t take it any longer. He gently pushed Elijah onto his back, kissing him as he did so and gripping his thighs. Lifting them up, he draped Elijah’s legs over his shoulders, so they came to stick up in the air. Then he knelt on all fours and slowly pushed his cock in between Elijah’s buttocks. Immediately sweat broke out over his body.

Moaning and writhing at the penetration, Elijah stretched his arms out grasping the sheets and the pillow above his head.

“Lijah…baby…,” Dominic gasped, the delicious tightness of Elijah squeezing his invading penis. Finally he was all the way in and briefly glimpsed down at Elijah’s waiting body. Pressing his hands into the mattress on each side of Elijah’s hips, Dominic began to thrust slowly.

Each thrust sent shivers and waves of pleasure through Elijah’s groin and he emitted quiets moans as his toes curled and uncurled somewhere above Dominic’s head. After a few thrusts Dominic changed the angle a little, knowing exactly how to hit Elijah’s prostate best. Elijah’s moans grew louder, his body sweating all over. Swallowing hard, he shut his eyes, enjoying the tingle that spread out inside his loins as Dominic kept on rocking his hips slowly. Dominic looked down at him, taking in the expression of Elijah’s serene face that revealed nothing but pleasure. He watched how Elijah took hold of his own cock and started to stroke himself in rhythm with the thrusts. It was an overwhelmingly sexy picture. Dominic grabbed Elijah’s thighs which were slick with sweat and turned his face a little to the side. His tongue and lips licked and sucked on the inside of Elijah’s right calf as he increased the pace of his rocking hips. The thrusts got faster and a little harder.

“Aaahh…yeah…,” Elijah moaned out loud, throwing his head back and his hand squeezing his throbbing, rock-hard cock. He was barely aware of the wet suction on his lower leg as his upper body writhed heavily on the crumpled sheets. His prostate got hit again and again and the pleasant tingle got stronger.

Dominic turned to glimpse at Elijah one more time before he closed his eyes and thrust even faster, feeling his climax approach. His cock pounded into Elijah’s body, his pelvis slamming against the slick buttocks. Heavy groaning and panting filled the room, each of them lost in his pleasure.

Elijah came first. He held his jerking cock in his hand as his body tensed up and stopped writhing and his cum spurted out over his hand. He cried out loud, emitting a strangled moan and clutching the sheets in a death grip. Dominic dug his fingernails into Elijah’s thighs as the hot tightness of Elijah brought him to orgasm. He groaned low in his throat, spilling his seed deep inside Elijah’s tense body. He continued thrusting a few more times after he had come, only slowly coming down from his ecstatic climax. The moans were gone and only panting was left.

When Dominic opened his eyes, he saw Elijah look up at him with a spent, but utterly satisfied expression. His limp cock slipped out of Elijah’s entrance and he let go off his legs which flopped down on the bed. His whole body was filled with a sweet tingle. Feeling weak but completely happy, Dominic slowly lowered himself down on top of Elijah’s hot, damp body, their sweaty torsos pressing against each other. Enjoying the post-coital beauty of Elijah’s flushed face, Dominic looked at him in silence for a moment, his fingers brushing damp strands of hair away from Elijah’s forehead. Then he leaned in and kissed him softly and lazily. Elijah wrapped a weak arm around him, holding him close and returning the movement of the lips just as softly. When the kiss ended, they looked at each other, their faces only inches apart. Elijah brushed his fingers over Dominic’s stubbly chin, a gentle smile lingering on his lips.

“I think I’ll stay here for the rest of the night,” he whispered.

Dominic chuckled and played with a strand of Elijah’s hair. “I thought as much.”

For a moment they were silent again as their lips met once more.

“Everything going okay here?” Dominic asked, stroking Elijah’s cheek. 

“Yeah. Pretty exhausting, but it’s been mainly crawling until now. Not the heavy stuff yet. And you?”

Their voices were still no louder than a whisper.

“Let’s just say that I’m not sure if I’ll ever have children,” Dominic grinned. “Treebeard is slowly squashing my manliness.”

“Really?” Elijah raised an eyebrow. “I think your manliness is still working pretty well,” he smirked.

“But my balls are gonna be jelly by the end of the year. You better take advantage of them as long as you still can,” Dominic winked, placing another kiss on Elijah’s lips.

“Your balls are indestructible,” Elijah growled into Dominic’s mouth. Another deep kiss followed and eventually Elijah’s earlier tiredness came back. But now it was a pleasant kind of weariness. Dominic reached over to the nightstand and switched off the lamp after he had placed the lubricant bottle on the small table. Elijah turned his back to him and Dominic nestled up to him, wrapping his arms around his body and pulling Elijah against his chest. Kissing Elijah’s shoulder, Dominic buried his face in the back of his neck and closed his eyes, feeling completely at ease. After a few minutes of silence, when he thought Elijah had already fallen asleep, Dominic heard his whispering voice.

“If you hear Orli banging at the door sometime tonight, don’t wake me up.”

Dominic snorted and giggled quietly, pressing his forehead against Elijah’s skin. They grinned silently in the darkness, thinking exactly the same. That Orlando was such a big kid and that it felt fucking good to fall asleep together.


	33. Chapter 33

Hannah had never read “The Lord of the Rings”. She had started with the first book once but never come very far as she could not find any entertainment in all the never-ending descriptions. No matter what everyone else said, she would never be a fan of Mr. Tolkien. Therefore she didn’t know any of the countless settings, let alone their names or where exactly they were. She was merely familiar with the big locations such as the Shire and Mordor, but that was where her knowledge stopped. 

When she got out of the crew car that had taken her into the Rangipo Desert area, Hannah surveyed the movie set for some battle scene which name she had already forgotten. Thanking her driver, she crossed her arms in front of her chest. Despite her jacket, she felt like her butt was freezing off. This wasteland on the south western slopes of Mt. Ruapehu with its scrubby vegetation and the harsh climate truly must be the perfect setting for whatever battle it was they were filming here, she thought. A couple of big tents were scattered around and everywhere crew people were mingling, talking, yelling and preparing. In the distance Hannah could see the volcano range. Somewhere out there Elijah, Sean and Andy Serkis were crawling through the landscape. She had already said good-bye to Elijah as she would leave for Wellington later that day. Now she slowly made her way over to the tents, feeling a little lost in this large setting. She stopped a crew member, briefly introduced herself and asked for the whereabouts of the actors. Then she headed over to the tent she had been pointed to. 

Her arms were still tightly crossed and she was glad that he had her hair tucked back in a ponytail. It wasn’t only cold, it was also rather windy. Entering the tent, Hannah at first thought she had ended up in the wrong place. It was rather crowded and at the front a man in a soldier uniform was standing, holding up one little object after another, explaining all sorts of bombs and rockets to the crowd. Wondering where exactly she had run into, Hannah was about to turn around and leave the tent again when she noticed that someone was waving at her, motioning for her to come over. As she approached him, she recognized the familiar face despite the hobbit outfit.

“Hi,” Hannah smiled when she came to stand next to Dominic’s chair. Now she noticed that Billy was sitting right next to him.

“Hey,” Dominic and Billy said simultaneously. There were quite a lot of people in the tent and since no vacant chair was in sight, Dominic patted his lap.

“Take a seat, shouldn’t be long,” he offered quietly and she grinned at the invitation. 

Sitting down on Dominic’s left thigh, Hannah looked ahead where the soldier was still explaining what the different army bombs looked like. She still had no idea what was going on, but found it rather amusing. Turning around, she glanced at Dominic.

“What is he talking about?” she asked in a quiet voice in order not to disturb anyone.

Leaning in to her a little, Dominic murmured equally quietly. “This is army land and these New Zealand Army blokes tell us what bombs might still be buried somewhere in the ground.”

His cheeky smile confused Hannah almost more than the whole situation. Her eyes widened and she tried not to gasp too loudly.

“You’re fucking with me,” she looked from him to Billy incredulously. “He’s fucking with me, right?” 

Billy just grinned and suppressed laughter. “Nope, not this time.”

Hannah turned to the front, not knowing what to say. Weren’t they supposed to be filming a huge battle scene here? Wouldn’t that be basically suicide? Her eyes widened even more. Suddenly a man in front of them turned around, obviously he had overheard their quiet mumbling.

“Should be an explosive experience,” he winked at her and then at Dominic and Billy. The long greasy black strands, the beard, the armor – if she hadn’t known the striking mumbling voice, it would have been hard for Hannah to recognize Viggo in his Aragorn costume. She had briefly met him at the hotel, but seeing him now, all dressed up like this, it took her breath away once again. There were way too many handsome guys in this movie, she thought.

“And makes it easier to look all scared,” Dominic added and snorted.

“You’re not supposed to look scared, you’re supposed to look brave and heroic,” Viggo shook his head and turned around again, grinning to himself.

The soldier now wanted to know if anyone had any questions, but Hannah just continued looking at the back of Viggo’s head while at the same time feeling Dominic’s leg she was sitting on. Yes, definitely not the worst cast that Peter Jackson had gathered here. Eventually the man was finished and everyone got up.

“You’re shooting a battle scene in an area that’s full of bombs?” Hannah asked as soon as she had gotten up from Dominic’s lap and faced him.

“Well, it’s not full of bombs,” he said nonchalantly, standing up and stretching his arms. “Just some leftovers that probably wouldn’t go off anyway. And the army people are extras, so they’ll always be present, so they can take care of it if something gets found.”

“And they marked a particular area that they cleared before,” Billy told her as they left the tent and stepped out into the cold. “As long as everyone stays there, we should live to see the end of the day.”

Hannah folded her arms and smiled knowingly. “Ha, I bet you guys are only pretending to be all cool. You’re shitting your pants.”

“Who’s shitting their pants?” Viggo stepped up to them, one hand on the hilt of his sword that was on his side.

This time Hannah wasn’t fascinated by his appearance, but by that certain impressive-looking object. Staring at the sword, she gasped and looked up at Viggo. 

“That is one mighty sword,” she remarked, feeling a light blush creep over her face as she noticed how blunt that sounded. But she couldn’t find any better words at the moment. Viggo chuckled and pulled it out of its scabbard. It looked even more imposing in its entire splendor.

“Wanna hold it?” he asked, holding the hilt with both his hands. Hannah felt like he had just asked her if she wanted a kiss. 

“Uhm sure!” she beamed and Viggo carefully handed the sword to her. She emitted a small gasp as she wrapped her fingers around the hilt.

“Wow, that’s pretty heavy,” she said and tried to hold it up like a real warrior, but it didn’t really work. Nevertheless she smiled excitedly at Dominic and Billy.

“Aragorn’s sword! Now I can die happily,” she laughed.

“You look like Xena,” Dominic grinned. “Just add a sexy short skirt and black hair.”

“Much too cold for that, sorry,” Hannah giggled and gave the sword back to Viggo who took it and performed some accomplished movements with it. 

Dominic watched her stunned face, the wide eyes, the parted lips that formed quiet words like “woah”, the impressed expression. She was really just as adorable as Elijah or well, almost as adorable as Elijah. She was exactly like he had thought she would be and it was strange how much Dominic felt like he was already a member of the family. Hannah was the type of person that welcomed you without conditions and you thought you’ve known her all your life. He wondered if she was thinking the same about him. He knew he was good at amusing people and being entertaining, he found it was the best way to break the ice at the first meeting and to make the person feel comfortable. Elijah and Dominic had a lot of things in common, but personality wise they were not very alike. Elijah tended to be more reserved, though in the presence of the hobbits and Orlando he often used to light up a lot. Dominic had no problems with being outgoing towards anyone from the beginning. Hannah seemed to be someone who was straight forward after she had gotten to know the person a little and that person raised her interest.

“That was awesome,” Hannah cheered when Viggo tucked his sword back into his scabbard.

“Viggo is practically married to his sword, he carries it everywhere,” Billy joked.

“Best way to stay in character,” Viggo replied and turned to Hannah again. “One advice, Miss Wood. Don’t hang out too much with Mr. Monaghan. He likes to spread nasty rumors.”

“Pardon me?” Dominic laughed and crossed his arms, faking a hurt look.

Viggo grinned and leaned down to Hannah a little. ”Just for the record, I did not have an affair with my horse and I can tell the difference between fake bearded women who play Rohan warriors and real men.”

Hannah stared at him like he was totally crazy, but somehow she had to laugh as well, despite having no idea what he was talking about. He just grinned and stood up straight again. Some crew member called his name.

“Excuse me, see you around, miss. Gentlemen.” And with that he briefly waved good-bye and moved away.

“Viggo Mortensen, one of a kind,” Dominic chuckled, shaking his head as he watched him walk away.

Shoving her hands into her pockets, Hannah looked at him. “What the heck was that about?” she asked amused.

Dominic smiled mischievously and rubbed his hands together. “He, Orli and John were filming some Rohan scenes and they actually had some women who were dressed like Rohan horsemen. Viggo was talking with one of them and it took him ages until he realized that it was a woman, not a man. You know, nothing bad, but for some reason he feels awfully embarrassed about it.”

“Plus his horse licked him across the face when they shot the scene where Aragorn gets washed up on the shore of a river,” Billy laughed.

“Ewww, yuck,” Hannah shuddered. “I can imagine you guys laughed your asses off.”

“Nah,” Dominic shrugged, feigning complete and utter innocence. Then he smiled softly at her, asking the one question that was important to him. “But can you see now why Elijah calls Viggo his surrogate daddy?”

Hannah’s expression got very soft and pensive suddenly and she shielded her eyes against the sun as she gazed at Viggo in the distance who was talking to somebody.

“Yeah,” she said tenderly, watching his back. “I can see it.” Turning around, she looked at Dominic.

“You know the whole miserable story. If you ask me, I can happily do without a father like that. I just recently learnt that Elijah blamed himself for everything because of his career and that made me so sad and angry. But the thing is, Elijah seems to need a father figure more than I do.”

Raising an eyebrow, Dominic looked at her a little suspiciously. “You think so? What about yourself, isn’t that a little harsh?”

Billy kept himself a little aside, not sure if he should stay since this seemed to be a matter that wasn’t his business. But at the same time Elijah was his friend as well of course, so any of his trouble did concern Billy, too. He just knew that Elijah’s parents were divorced and that he didn’t have any contact with his father anymore. Still, Billy couldn’t help but think that this was better than having no parents at all. Like Billy, whose mother and father both had passed away.

“Yes, I think so,” Hannah glanced briefly at the ground, trying to order her thoughts. It was still a difficult subject for her. “You see, we haven’t seen him for the last four years. We haven’t even spoken to him. He just let us down, Dom. It’s as simple as that. He abandoned us and stayed in Cedar Rapids. He wasn’t there when we hit puberty, when we grew up, when I had my first boyfriend or when Lij got this role. We kids always had each other, Zach, Elijah and I, and we always had mom. I can only speak for me and I don’t miss anything. But if Elijah needs a father figure, then I’m glad that he found someone. Someone he feels comfortable around.”

Dominic studied her face, wondering if she was really as tough and determined as she appeared. He couldn’t read her as well as he could read Elijah.

“Elijah doesn’t blame himself anymore,” he eventually said. “I could make him see that no child is responsible if his parents get divorced and when he realized that, he said exactly what you just said. That your father dropped you and that he abandoned you. We haven’t talked about this ever since because it’s obviously not something that Lijah likes to dig up again. But it’s not that he doesn’t care. And I can’t imagine that you really don’t care, Hannah. I know it’s none of my business and I can’t judge the situation because I’m not in it, I can only say how it looks from my perspective.”

He was glad when Hannah smiled despite his forward behavior. He didn’t mean to come across as too intruding, but he wanted to understand the situation and what was going on in their heads.

“You’re a very caring person, Dom,” she stated, a light smile still on her face, but there was a tinge of melancholy in it. “You made it your business because you love Elijah. I’m very glad that you were there when Lij needed it and that he could tell you everything and that you helped him. But believe me, it’s good how things are now. Has Elijah ever told you what kind of person our father is?”

Dominic had to contemplate the question for a moment. “No,” he frowned and had to admit that he should have asked Elijah right when he had told him about his parents’ divorce. Maybe then he would understand certain things a lot better. “He only told me that your parents drifted apart in the course of time.”

“Yeah,” Hannah nodded. “You know that we were raised Catholic, right? It was basically dad who would insist on it. It was very important to him that his kids would always remain faithful and on the right track and everything, especially when Elijah went to LA for the first time. So, you see…the person that Elijah is now…how he accepted himself and lives it, not openly of course but still…well, I’m not quite sure how dad would react to it, you know what I mean?”

Trailing off, she bit her bottom lip, hoping that she had gotten her point across. It was difficult, but she wanted Dominic to know and understand everything. She was fond of him and she trusted him. She was still in the process of really getting to know him, but Elijah was head over heels for him and that meant that he was a special person.

“I understand,” Dominic ran a hand through his curly wig as he thought about her words. He had always assumed that maybe it would be good if Elijah got back in touch with his father sooner or later, if that would ever be possible anyway, to make him see that all the self-blame was indeed ridiculous, but from this new perspective it probably was good that they were where they were now.

“Thank you, Hannah. This makes it a lot easier for me. I only want what’s best for Elijah and I can only make sure that I always do the best if I know the whole story. But…he must know this, right? I mean, that his father would probably not be very happy if he knew that Lij was gay.”

“I’m sure Elijah does know that, Dom,” Hannah stepped closer to him and put a soft hand on his shoulder. “I just want you to understand why it’s good how things are right now and why I’m not exactly bitter. And why I’m happy that Elijah has guys like you around him now. You, Billy, Viggo…you are what he needs. You do him good, you make him happy.”

She smiled at him and he smiled at her. Elijah truly couldn’t have been surrounded by more loving and caring people.

“That’s what I’m here for,” Dominic said before pulling Hannah into a tight embrace. She smiled as she hugged him back, believing every word. Then she hugged Billy and stepped away a little. Burying her hands in the pockets of her jeans, she took a brief look around.

“Okay, I guess it’s time for me to go. Hope to see you guys in Wellington before I leave. I still gotta hit the city for a shopping spree,” she grinned.

“That would be cool,” Dominic smiled. “Take care of Lijah’s house.”

“Oh, I will. You have fun today. What is it again, Pell…Pelle-something?”

“Pellenor? No, this is the battle of the Black Gate,” Dominic explained. “The plains of Gorgoroth.”

“Aye, Pellenor is in Te Anau on the South Island,” Billy added, giggling at Hannah’s confused face. 

“Then Elijah must have told me bullshit. I’m sure he said Pellenor,” she shrugged and shook her head. “Geez, all the weird names…anyway, bye then, see you around!”

“See you and thanks again. Have a safe trip,” Dominic waved at her as she turned around and left them. He watched her walk away and sighed quietly, remembering their first meeting just two days earlier. How she had welcomed him, asked him nosy questions that only a teenager could come up with, smiling just like Elijah did. He had found her adorable right from the first moment on, but now he was speechless and that didn’t occur very often. This first act of bonding with her felt very good and he could see why Elijah loved her so much. With a sister like Hannah, nothing bad could ever happen to him and he certainly would never get bored. If Viggo was Elijah’s surrogate daddy, then maybe Hannah could take the place of Dominic’s surrogate sister from now on. He snorted and grinned at the thought. He could be damn cheesy sometimes.

Hannah put her cold hands into the pockets of her jacket as she passed several tents on her way back into the civilization. No matter what would ever happen, she knew that Elijah was in the best hands with Dominic and that was a calming conviction. Her mind was still repeating the talk with Dominic when something else attracted her attention. Or rather, someone else. She wasn’t quite sure at first, but the longer she looked at the person, the more certain she got. Her heart took a leap, but she briefly wondered if she should approach him. There was no doubt that this man with the long white beard and cloak sitting in a chair and reading some papers in his hands was Ian McKellen. Hannah decided that it would be absolutely nuts to walk off without having said hello to Gandalf himself, so she cleared her throat and slowly moved over to where he was sitting. When she was a few feet away, she cleared her throat once more and smiled.

“Uhm, excuse me?” she said loudly and when he looked up at her, her smile even widened.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to disturb you. My name is Hannah, I’m Elijah’s sister.”

A friendly smile spread on Ian’s face and he leaned forward in his chair, reaching out his hand for her to shake.

“Of course,” he said. “He mentioned you and said you would come to visit.”

Shaking his hand, Hannah wasn’t even aware that she performed a light bow in front of him. 

“It’s such an honor to meet you, Mr. McKellen. Or Sir Ian,” she smiled, feeling his firm grip around her hand. 

“Oh, it’s Ian. No titles in the workplace, please,” he chuckled, and Hannah immediately noticed how fascinating his voice sounded. Deep, raspy, tremendous, just how one would imagine what a wizard’s voice would sound like.

“Take a seat,” he pointed to the chair next to him and Hannah gladly sat down, feeling even more honored.

“How do you like New Zealand so far?” he asked, his tone still friendly and interested and she found herself to be rather overwhelmed. She had hoped for at least a brief hello, thinking that Ian was probably too busy for any more words anyway.

“It’s beautiful. I’m so happy to be here,” Hannah told him, leaning on the armrest and smiling at him. “Just these reversed seasons are a little strange and took me some getting used to,” she added with a quiet laugh.

“Oh yes, I think it’s Dominic who said that there’s not that much of a difference between New Zealand in winter and England in summer. It’s equally cold.”

Hannah laughed at that. “I can imagine. I’m very LA spoilt. Sho…what is it like, playing Gandalf?” she couldn’t help but ask him, her nosy curiosity getting the better of her once again. “Elijah said he was rather nervous at the beginning playing such an icon as Frodo. He thought he wasn’t the right one to play Frodo and that he would mess everything up. Of course you’re much older and experienced and an icon yourself,” she said and trailed off again, blushing as she realized that she started to babble. 

Ian, however, didn’t seem to mind. Leaning back in his chair, he gazed ahead for a moment. “I don’t blame him. I think everyone of us had that feeling at one point. It’s only natural.”

He looked at her again as he continued. “I remember, when I played my first Shakespeare character, centuries before you were born, I was nervous about how people would react to it. I was acting on stage and you see the reaction of the audience directly. But after some time you realize that these fears are unnecessary and only hinder your skills. Then I began acting mostly in film productions of Shakespeare plays that were well received. You know, all you can do is go out there and do your job as well as you can. There will always be people who don’t like what you do.”

Hannah listened to Ian with great interest. Somehow listening to him was like hearing your own grandfather tell you stories. She wondered if Elijah thought the same and if he had adopted Ian as another grandfather. She wouldn’t be surprised.

“I admire anyone who dares to attempt Shakespeare,” she stated with a smile and he smiled back, putting a friendly hand on her arm. 

“You just have to shed the fear, my dear,” he said and pulled back again. “But to answer your question, it’s a wonderful experience that I haven’t regretted so far. Of course there will be people who won’t like what I’m doing or what Elijah is doing or even what Peter is doing. But so be it. I just know that ten years ago I probably wouldn’t have been able to handle Gandalf. Or I wouldn’t have been able to handle him as well as I do now…”

Frowning and cocking her head lightly, Hannah looked at him confused. “No? Why not? If you don’t mind me asking…”

“Oh,” he waved vaguely, like it was not worth talking about. “I noticed it when I came out in 1988…twelve years ago, my my…time does fly by, doesn’t it…”

Hannah stared at him as he said those words and a lump suddenly built inside her throat. She had asked Elijah if he knew anything about how or why Ian came out, but Elijah had never asked him. Maybe it would have been intruding, but Ian had just brought it up himself, so he didn’t seem to mind talking about it after all.

“I do think my acting became a lot better afterwards,” Ian continued, his eyes set on hers the whole time. “There was something deceitful and deceptive about my way of acting. Maybe others didn’t notice it, but I do when I look back now. And really, what else could I expect from myself, I was a liar after all…”

Hannah folded her hands, trying not to appear too curious even though her curiosity was almost on the verge of knocking her out and telling him about Elijah.

“You never regretted it? Coming out, I mean?” she heard herself ask and then, “Why did you come out after all?”

She was prying, she knew it, but she had to know. She had to know all those things. Elijah and Dominic apparently didn’t, but she did.

Ian’s friendly expression did not falter and the sight made her feel more relieved. He just kept on talking, like it was no big deal at all.

“I was on a radio show in England, at the time when Margaret Thatcher’s Section 28 was a big issue. The legislation of this amendment made the public promotion of homosexuality a crime. Only a few people had known that I was gay back then, not even my family. Yes, you must be surprised by this, but I never saw a reason to bring it up. It was no problem for them that I never saw any women and so I thought it was okay. Deep inside they suspected something, I think all parents of gay children do. And that amendment was just too much gay hate at once. Making homophobia a part of the constitution…it was pathetic…I joined a protest march in Manchester back then…”

Hannah nodded, fumbling with her fingers as she mulled over this. “And…did it affect your career?”

“No,” Ian chuckled. “But you know, I was already an old man, not exactly young Hollywood material. No one really seemed to mind.”

“I can imagine it’s not easy for young actors nowadays,” she remarked, silently telling herself to be careful what she was saying and not to spill too much. Though she wondered if Ian maybe did suspect something regarding Elijah or not.

Ian turned more serious and nodded. “No, it’s not easy. No matter what anyone says, there’s still no tolerance in this business. It’s all about money. But like I said, after I came out, I got the feeling that I became a better actor. I’m more like myself now, if you know what I mean. But what was most important to me was that my family and the people who were closest to me knew the truth. They came to me and said they wished I had told them sooner. If I had known how much it meant to them, I would have told them sooner. Then I noticed it. I was suddenly feeling free, like I had hardly been living before. It was liberating and wonderful.”

He smiled again and Hannah smiled as well, but her mind was racing. A thousand thoughts whirled around in her head, she didn’t know where to start to get some order into them. She needed time. She needed to think.

“Thank you so much for this, well…rather intimate conversation,” she grinned. “I’m sorry I disturbed you for so long.”

“Don’t worry about it, my dear,” Ian shook her hand as she got up. “It was a pleasure getting to know you.”

“It was my pleasure,” Hannah emphasized and smiled at him one last time. She waved at him and then walked away, not even paying attention to where she was going.

She knew that Elijah was indeed doing the right thing, keeping his sexuality a secret from the world. However, keeping it a secret from those who were closest to him was very likely not the right thing. Those who were closest to him here in New Zealand were the members of the Fellowship and Peter of course. Viggo, Orlando, John, Sean Bean, Ian…they all didn’t know yet. They were his constant companions here, not just his colleagues, no, his friends. What would happen if Elijah told them the truth? Would he feel as liberated and happy as Ian did after he had come out? In Hannah’s opinion he would, there was no doubt about it. They would come up to Elijah and they would ask him why he didn’t tell them sooner. Besides, it must make everything a lot easier, not having to hide anymore, no more lies, no more excuses. Dominic would agree with her, wouldn’t he? He must be even unhappier than Elijah about the situation. He was more outgoing, more casual, more relaxed in general. Hannah was sure that Dominic would come out to the cast in a heartbeat. They could be so carefree and happy among the others, if only they would seize the chance. Hannah swore to herself that she would give it a try. Elijah’s sister couldn’t just be very curious, she could also be damn stubborn if she was convinced of something. No matter if the outcome was positive or negative. But this time it would be positive, for sure. If not, she would curse herself forever.


	34. Chapter 34

The main food hall of Wellington airport was not very crowded on this morning in early June. Hannah appreciated it as she was sitting in the sunny part of the Cooked Strait Bar, her fingers wrapped around a hot coffee plastic cup and her eyes on the name tag of the bar. Cooked Strait. Nice name variation of the famous Cook Strait that separated the North Island from the South Island. She wondered who had come up with it. Were there any other creative restaurant names around here? And why was she contemplating this? She was nervous. Lifting the cup to her lips, she took a sip and put it down on the table again, her hand still holding it. Eventually Hannah shifted her gaze. Dominic was sitting next to her, chewing on his fingernail and looking like he was miles away. Hannah was waiting for her flight back to Los Angeles. She didn’t want to leave, not yet. Not now. But it was time, after almost three weeks in New Zealand. Clearing her throat, she decided to end the silence.

“What do you think?”

Dominic looked up, his teeth still assaulting his fingernail. Weird, usually Elijah was the one with the nail biting issues. Elijah…Dominic sighed heavily and looked at Hannah’s coffee cup without really noticing it. He was still thinking about everything she had just told him. Her conversation with Ian, her thoughts, her conviction that Elijah and he should tell the rest of the Fellowship the truth. That it would make them feel better, relieved, free, happier. That it would make everything easier. And the reasons why she thought all that. It was not the first time that Dominic pondered over this. The pros and cons, what would happen if they did it, what would happen if they didn’t do it. But after what Hannah had told him about Ian’s thoughts and experiences, he saw things in quite a different light. He himself didn’t think he would have asked Ian about that point in his life. It had never been a topic. Ian was a confident, open-minded man who didn’t consider his sexuality an issue or a big deal. And no one had ever questioned him about it. Except Hannah, but that had been after Ian had brought it up. Nosy little sister, indeed.

Sighing again, Dominic looked at her.

“I think you may be right. No, you are right. I want to do it, I want to do it so bad. It’s just…damnit…”

He leaned his elbow on the table and rubbed his forehead, feeling disturbed and helpless.

“It frustrates me that I can’t imagine how they could possibly react, you know. I mean, we’ve known them for almost a year now. One whole bloody year and I have no clue what they might think. We’re all friends, we should know each other well enough by now. But when it comes to this, I have no idea what they might say. Not everyone can be as tolerant as Billy, Liv or you…just think about Sean…I can’t allow that to happen again…not to Elijah…”

Hannah placed her hand over his free hand which was fidgeting on the table. That made him feel a little calmer.

“What happened between you and Sean?” she asked. “You never told me.”

“You don’t wanna know,” he simply said, staring at some point in the air. “It’s over anyway and won’t happen again.”

But Hannah would have none of that. “Tell me, Dominic. What exactly did he say? Is he homophobic?”

Dominic stopped staring and turned to her again. He knew it would be pointless. If Hannah wanted to know something, she’d learn it sooner or later.

“No,” he said quietly, running his hand from his forehead through his hair. He was glad that they were sitting in this quiet corner of the airport bar and his fame was still limited. No one paid attention to them, let alone could eavesdrop on them.

“When he found out that we were together,” Dominic began slowly, surprised by how hard it still was to talk about it, “he talked to Elijah and persuaded him to leave me. He told Lijah that we were endangering the movies and ourselves and everything, well…you can imagine the rest…it was a horrible time.”

Squeezing Dominic’s hand lightly, Hannah looked at him with eyes full of compassion and sympathy.

“Oh fuck,” she mumbled, trying to imagine what he and Elijah must have been going through back then. She couldn’t say anything for a moment, her mind too busy trying to comprehend how Sean could have done something like that. Wasn’t he their friend? Couldn’t he see that they needed his support, that they were one group that had to stick together no matter what?

“But you said you’re okay now, didn’t you? He accepted you.”

Dominic nodded. “Yes, and Elijah is awfully sorry that he let Sean fuck with his head. Sean may have a point. What Lijah and I have is considered a scandal in Hollywood and not in a million years would we make it public. We can’t do that to anyone who’s working here. Anyway, if any of them reacts like Sean did…I wouldn’t know how to cope with it…”

“I see,” Hannah rested her chin in her hand, watching him silently as she thought about what to say. Maybe she had made a mistake after all. Maybe she had thought things would be easier than they actually were. Naive little thing. However, there was still this particular glimmer of hope inside her that told her everything could be okay in the end. If only they took the final step. Perhaps all Dominic needed was a gentle nudge into the direction of the light that Hannah could see clearly. Basically he didn’t know anything. He said he couldn’t imagine how the others would react, yet he expected the worst.

“So, assuming that they are not okay with you two being together if you decide to come out to them,” she said, “then what’s more likely? That they are homophobic assholes or that they are actually just concerned because of the movies?”

Shaking his head, Dominic rubbed his eyes with his hand, looking like he was completely drained, helpless and desperate.

“I don’t know,” he muttered, sounding like he didn’t even think about a possible answer. “I don’t know a bloody thing…fuck, why does everything always have to be so fucking complicated?”

He didn’t mean to raise his voice, but he did and a few people briefly glanced at him. He noticed it but didn’t really care. He felt another squeeze on his hand.

“Dom, look at me,” he heard Hannah say and he looked up into her soothing face.

“Do you really think they’re all homophobic? Please, they’re actors, every straight actor has gay friends in the business. So, you can assume that they might only be concerned because of the movies. Why do you expect the worst case scenario to happen?”

Dominic exhaled heavily and shook his head in defeat.

“I don’t know…,” he sighed.

“You wanna know what I think?” Hannah asked, her gaze still holding his tightly.

“I think you’re too much blinded by your fear to see that not everyone wants to do you harm. I can’t force you to do anything of course and maybe I’m just a fucking naive 16-year-old, but Dom, please please think about it. Give it some time and talk to Elijah. Maybe even talk to Ian. If he doesn’t understand you, then no one will.”

Dominic kept staring into her eyes which could be as captivating as Elijah’s were. She smiled reassuringly. This was probably one of those “once burnt” cases. Dominic couldn’t deny that Hannah’s words made sense. What was he afraid of? That they would go psycho on Elijah and him, forcing them to break up? What would Viggo say? He was an open-minded, sophisticated man. Orlando? Juvenile personality, new to the acting business. A part of the hobbit gang and their closest friend. Sean Bean? Funny, witty and best friends with Viggo. John? The personification of respect and friendliness. And Peter? The big boss who didn’t act like the big boss. More like he was one of them. Maybe…maybe it could turn out well for them in the end after all.

“You know what, you’re right,” Dominic said, his voice suddenly firm and secure. “It’s about time. Besides, they’ll find out sooner or later anyway. We have the entire promotion tour ahead of us as well in the next few years, so it’ll probably be a huge relief to tell them now. If not now, when?”

Hannah was glad to finally see him smile back at her.

“Right,” she let go of his hand and leaned back, taking another sip of her coffee. “Discuss this with Elijah. It’s only up to you and it’s between you two. Me talking to him wouldn’t have been very useful. Only you can encourage him in this.”

Dominic’s smile didn’t falter. “I will. You know, I think you are to me what I was to Elijah when he had all those insecurity issues. Now I really know how he must have been feeling.”

Chuckling into her almost empty cup, Hannah gulped down the rest of her drink.

“I just want to see you guys happy. Even happier than you already are.”

A loudspeaker announcement informed her that it was time to head for her gate. Sighing, she stood up and Dominic got up as well.

“Guess it’s time to say good-bye,” he smiled sadly. They hugged each other tightly and Hannah pulled back.

“Thanks for taking me to the airport.”

“You’re very welcome. Too bad Lij is still trapped in Mordor. But he’s coming home soon, then I’ll talk to him.”

He accompanied her to the security check and she turned to him again before leaving.

“It was great getting to know you, Dom. I’m so glad we finally met. I expect you to come to LA as soon as you can.”

“Oh, I’m sure we will. Maybe during the next filming break.”

“Great,” Hannah smiled and hugged him one last time. “Call me after you guys talked, okay? Take care.”

Dominic nodded and reluctantly let her go again. He hadn’t thought it would be so hard to say farewell to her. She really was like the younger sister he never had and he realized how much he wished for one. But then again, there was no better little sister than Hannah. She waved at him and turned around. He waved back. Then she was gone. Dominic buried his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and remained standing where he was for a few more minutes. As always, he was happy and looked forward to seeing Elijah again after having been away from him. But this time another feeling mingled with these emotions. Nervousness. Why had Hannah waited until they had arrived at the airport before she had told him what had been on her mind? He could only think of one answer. She wanted them to go through this on their own because that’s what they needed to do. Giving Dominic the time and space to think about how to approach Elijah about this. And that was exactly what he was going to do.

 

~**~

 

The sound of the doorbell had never been more beautiful in his ears and Dominic got up from the couch in his living-room, dropping the music magazine he had been reading and heading to the front door. As he opened it, his heart skipped a beat. Elijah was standing on the threshold and smiled, but after the initial joy, Dominic immediately noticed the dark circles around his eyes and his exhausted appearance. He quickly shut the door after Elijah had entered and hugged him against his chest.

“Hey Lijah,” he said softly, noticing that Elijah’s embrace wasn’t as tight as usual when they saw each other again.

“Hey,” Elijah’s voice was quiet and a little strained, but Dominic could still hear happiness in it.

“Excuse my ragged look, I’m fucking shattered,” he chuckled weakly.

Dominic pulled back far enough to look at his face. His thumbs gently brushed against the delicate dark skin under Elijah’s eyes.

“Oh dear,” he sighed sympathetically. “You sure do look knackered. Was it that hard?”

“Yeah, but it was also the fucking best thing I’ve ever filmed in my life.”

Elijah’s smile was weary, but Dominic knew he meant every word, so he smiled back at him. Leaning in, he kissed Elijah gently and could feel him lose some of the tension in his arms. His lips were as soft as ever.

“I have just the right thing for you,” Dominic said when the kiss ended. “My special tea and a nice massage, how does that sound?”

“Mmm…heavenly…,” Elijah leaned against him and pressed his lips against Dominic’s once more, trying to gather the energy to move over into the bedroom.

“Lovely to have you back,” Dominic whispered against his lips and broke the kiss. He swore he could feel Elijah’s exhaustion himself.

“Get comfy, I’ll go and get the tea ready, yeah?”

Elijah nodded and kicked off his shoes before slowly strolling into the bedroom. Crawling around in the dirt all day long, shooting possibly the most emotional scenes of the movies, traveling all the way back to Wellington after getting it done…no wonder Elijah looked like he would collapse any minute. Dominic sighed and went into the kitchen. He would do his best to make Elijah feel better again. He was good at that. This brought a small smile to his face. He had always managed to cheer Elijah up, make him feel good, make him happy, no matter what had happened. He loved it. He loved taking care of Elijah, maybe even when he didn’t really need it. But this need was rooted deep inside of Dominic and he couldn’t help it. He always wanted to make everything easier for Elijah, just like right now.

He finished making the tea and took the big mug, carefully moving over into the bedroom. Elijah was sitting on the edge of the bed, only dressed in his boxers. His face was buried in his hands and he rubbed his tired eyes. The first thing Dominic noticed though were the scratches and bruises all over the usually flawless skin of Elijah’s upper body.

“Bloody hell,” Dominic frowned and walked over to him, handing Elijah the mug and sitting down next to him.

“What did you do up there?”

Elijah wrapped his fingers around the warm cup.

“Looks worse than it is. Really. One thing you didn’t know about me yet, I bruise easier than other people,” he chuckled and took a sip. “Mmm…thank you.”

Dominic, however, did not look very convinced. On the contrary, he kept studying Elijah’s body with an expression that almost looked like he was the one with the abrasions.

“Looks bad enough to me,” he murmured, laying a gentle hand on Elijah’s back and moving it up and down in a stroking motion.

“I’m just not used to seeing you like this. I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

Elijah lowered the mug again and smiled softly.

“I’m not in pain, Dom,” he assured him and raised his hand to Dominic’s cheek, pulling his face to him and placing a kiss on his lips.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Now wipe that ugly frown off your face, it doesn’t suit you.”

Dominic sighed and took his hand in his.

“I’m worrying too much, hmm?”

“Sort of,” Elijah grinned and lifted the mug to his mouth again. “But if you weren’t, I’d be the worried one.”

“Then everything should be okay,” Dominic kissed the palm of Elijah’s hand and let go of it. He smiled.

“Come on, time for your massage. You need it, don’t argue.”

He took the mug from Elijah and put it on the nightstand.

“I would never say no to your massages,” Elijah smirked and scooted back on the bed. Then he lay down on his stomach and turned his head, resting his cheek on the pillow. Dominic opened the bedside drawer and pulled a bottle of massage oil out of it. He looked at Elijah’s back which wasn’t quite as bruised as his chest. Thank God.

“Relax and enjoy,” Dominic straddled Elijah’s legs and opened the bottle, pouring a generous amount of the warm lotion all over Elijah’s back. He could hear Elijah purr in bliss.

“Feeling much better already,” Elijah murmured and purred again as Dominic began to spread the oil all over his back with his hands.

“You’ll be feeling even better in a minute,” Dominic leaned down and pressed a kiss on Elijah’s cheek. Then he sat up again and moved his skilled hands across the smooth skin. He marveled at its softness as he did practically every time. When Elijah’s entire back and shoulder blades were glistening with oil, he placed his hands on the upper back and slowly glided them down either side of the spine, then back up the side of Elijah’s body and lightly over the shoulders. He repeated this a few times until he could feel the muscles relax gradually.

“You’re tenser than Orli’s bow,” he said, using his thumbs to work into the muscles at the base of the neck.

“Is this too firm or is it okay?”

“Perfect. It’s so good,” Elijah had his eyes closed and his face was completely relaxed. Dominic almost thought he had fallen asleep until he had spoken. He smiled as he continued the massage, glad that he could make Elijah feel better once again. Seeing and feeling him lose his tension as he surrendered to Dominic’s gentle hands, it was always something that made Dominic feel better himself.

“So, how was it?” he wanted to know, his hands never ceasing their movements. The tips of his fingers moved in small circles up and down the side of Elijah’s spine. He knew that the largest groups of muscles were located in this area and he carefully worked out the small knots he could feel.

Elijah exhaled heavily and smiled, his eyes still closed.

“Fucking awesome. We moved Pete to tears, can you believe it?”

“Oh yes, I can,” Dominic replied without hesitation. His hands were now back on the shoulder blades where they performed their small circular motions.

“When Sam carries Frodo up the mountain and he holds him in his arms and tells him about the Shire…Pete was looking at the monitor and when he said cut and we saw his face, he had tears in his eyes,” Elijah told him with an astonished voice.

“The day was so rough and we only had two hours, but we totally nailed it. It was just…incredible…”

Dominic smiled, massaging Elijah’s shoulders as he tried to picture the scene in his head.

“I can’t wait to see it,” he said. “The best scene in the movie, I bet. And Sean really carried you?”

“Yeah,” Elijah chuckled. “You might not believe it, but he did. He’s not so weak after all.”

“Well, it’s not like you weigh very much, baby,” Dominic bent down and placed another kiss on Elijah’s cheek. He left his lips there for a moment as he murmured into Elijah’s ear.

“You’re light as a feather…”

Elijah snorted, still grinning.

“And I always thought it’s because you have so many muscles, so it’s easy for you to carry me.”

Dominic sat up again and lifted his hips a little, so that Elijah could turn around on his back.

“I’m not nearly as muscular as you make me out to be,” he said and kissed Elijah’s lips, but not for too long, otherwise he’d get distracted from his unfinished task.

“Oh yes, you are,” Elijah watched how Dominic took the bottle with oil and applied some more lotion over his chest. He folded his hands behind his head, savoring every touch as Dominic spread out the warm oil and put his hands on his chest, slowly massaging the skin there, moving from the center to the sides and mindful not to touch any of the scratches and bruises.

“Thanks again, for taking Hannah to the airport. Really sucked that I couldn’t be there.”

The sudden mention of Hannah’s name made Dominic frown for a split second as he recalled their conversation. He had almost forgotten about it, so much had he been focused on helping Elijah relax. Certainly now wasn’t exactly the right moment to bring the topic up, was it? Elijah’s body unwound more and more and Dominic didn’t want to see him lose this relaxation.

“Of course,” he smiled down at Elijah’s face. “But she said we should come to LA as soon as we can. I think she misses us already. I secretly declared her my little adoptive sister, I hope that’s fine by you.”

“Everything that’s mine is yours as well,” Elijah said softly and in a tone that didn’t sound teasing at all.

Dominic felt really touched by that and continued massaging Elijah’s chest muscles, trying not to look too affected by the abrasions. While he was moving his hands in silence, he realized that there probably would never be the perfect moment to bring up what he needed to bring up. He had decided that going the direct way would be the best, just get it out and over with. He looked from Elijah’s chest up at his face. Elijah had his eyes closed again, visibly enjoying what Dominic’s hands were doing with him. Taking a quiet, deep breath, Dominic broke the silence.

“She told me something.”

“Mmm?” Elijah hummed, his eyelids still shut.

“Concerning you and me…,” Dominic went on, his eyes focused on Elijah’s. “She thinks…it would be best if we come out to the others.”

Elijah’s eyes snapped open instantly and he stared up at Dominic. His expression looked frozen. He wondered if he had heard right.

“I…I’m sorry…,” he stuttered, his voice suddenly husky. “Could you repeat that?”

Dominic sighed and his hands stopped their movements. Maybe it had been a little too abrupt after all?

“She talked to Ian,” he began slowly and saw Elijah’s eyes grow even wider.

“Did she tell him about us?” Elijah asked and sat up straight.

“No baby, listen,” Dominic sat back on his haunches, wishing he could erase the look of panic from Elijah’s face.

“Ian told her about how and why he came out. She didn’t ask him directly and she didn’t tell him about us. Even his family hadn’t known that he’s gay. He never saw the need to tell them. He always saw something spiteful about himself and his acting because he was a liar about his sexuality. But then after he came out on the radio, he was happier and freer and his family asked him why he didn’t tell them sooner. He even thinks his acting got better afterwards. Hannah believes that coming out to the Fellowship might do the same for us.”

He trailed off, his gaze still holding Elijah’s. Elijah leaned back against the headboard, not saying anything for what seemed like forever. Dominic wondered if he should say more, but he decided to give Elijah some time to settle down first.

“I…sorry…,” Elijah finally said and ran a lightly shaking hand through his hair. He shook his head. “I don’t know what to say, this comes as a bit of a shock…”

Dominic took hold of Elijah’s hand and scooted closer to him.

“Don’t take it as a shock, Lijah. Nothing happened, not yet. They just talked and she didn’t tell him anything. It’s up to us and only us. But baby, we should talk about this. If you ask me, she does have a point.”

“You mean, you would tell them?” Elijah asked incredulously, looking at Dominic like he was absolutely lunatic.

“Dom, we talked about this. We decided that it would be better to keep it a secret from as many people as possible.”

“I know we said that, Lij,” Dominic struggled to keep his voice calm and gentle. “But think about it. If we tell them, it would lift a huge burden off us. We finally wouldn’t have to act like nothing’s going on when we’re around them. We could finally be ourselves. And do you think any of them would mind? They don’t strike me as that sort of people. They’re our friends, Lijah. We’re all friends. The only thing we have a reason to be scared of is what might happen if they spread it around. If the crew finds out, it’ll soon be all over New Zealand and then the rest of the world.”

“Yeah, and what if that happens?” Elijah asked, sounding harsher than he had intended to. He couldn’t help it. Everything they had built up, everything they had together was suddenly threatened by something he didn’t even want to imagine.

“Dom please, you can’t be serious…”

Sighing and letting go off Elijah’s hand, Dominic crossed his legs and briefly glanced at his fingers. He needed to stay calm and rational.

“First of all, I don’t think they would spread it around,” he started again and looked at Elijah’s firm expression.

“But if they do, accidentally or not, and others from the crew ask us, then we can still simply deny that it’s true. We can still say it’s just a rumor and laugh about it. Lijah, I do think we should tell the Fellowship after all. We’re all so close, we have a life together here and we’ll promote the movies until 2003. Think about how much easier it would be for us. Don’t you think they’ll find out sooner or later anyway? If we don’t tell them ourselves, they might ask us why we didn’t. Why we didn’t trust them enough even though they’re our friends.”

The firm look on Elijah’s face slowly softened and was replaced by something else. Uncertainty. Sadness. Fear.

“Dom…,” Elijah whispered and gazed down at his hand that Dominic had taken again.

“I…I don’t know…I mean, I understand you, but…what if it all turns out differently? Gay scandal, everyone would hate us, we would fuck up the movies, we…God…”

He covered his eyes with his hand, trying to push the scenarios out of his mind. Images of wicked newspaper headlines, ruined careers, everyone against them. Or maybe Peter even forcing them to…God, he could never bear that.

“Lijah…,” Dominic’s gentle fingers touched his cheek and Elijah removed his hand again, looking into his loving face. Dominic kissed the palm of Elijah’s hand and held it tightly. Elijah looked so scared and sad, he couldn’t stand it.

“You don’t have to say anything right now, baby. Give it some time, think about it. We can talk about it again when you have thought it all through, okay?”

Elijah just nodded, feeling a huge lump in his throat. He was scared. So scared that he could hardly speak. More horror scenarios whirled around in his head and he desperately struggled to erase them. But he couldn’t. He stared at Dominic like he would disappear any second. The lump got bigger, nearly choking him.

“I…,” he croaked, his voice thick with unshed tears and barely audible. “I don’t want to lose you…”

Dominic’s heart broke.

“Oh baby…,” he released Elijah’s hand and wrapped his arms tightly around Elijah’s slender body, pulling him against his chest. Elijah held on to him tightly, still afraid that he might vanish.

“You won’t lose me…you’ll never lose me…”

Dominic softly stroked Elijah’s back which was still moist with oil.

“Never ever…”

This was it. He had told Elijah about his thoughts and now he would give him all the time he needed. They were in this together and, like so many times before, they would get through this together as well.

 


	35. Chapter 35

Elijah closed his eyes and bowed his head slightly. He was kneeling on the ground, his face utterly serene and reverent as the woman in front of him leaned down elegantly and placed a light kiss on top of his Frodo curls. Not a woman. Galadriel, Elvish Lady of Light, Lady of the forest realm Lothlórien and ruler of the Galadhrim. Even Elijah had to admit that Cate Blanchett was absolutely stunning. There were only three major roles for women in the movies and Peter had done an excellent casting job. Every single one of them fit perfectly into their roles. Liv of course, but also Miranda Otto as Eowyn, fighting niece of Rohan king Theoden, and now Cate as mystical Elf lady. And all the men were treating them like real queens. But Elijah had different reasons for admiring Cate. She was one of his favorite actresses, but she was also so ethereal and awe-inspiring that he had felt rather nervous at the prospect of filming with her. But she was utterly wonderful.

Mystical smoke, rays of the sun shining through the leaves of the trees creating an otherworldly light, decorative statues, large flower beds, an ornamental lake – the spectacular, historic gardens of Fernside, a country estate in the farming district South Wairarapa about an hour from Wellington, was the earthly location for Lothlórien. Here the Fellowship received their presents from Galadriel, which meant that everyone was on the same set. A situation that hadn’t occurred in a long time. Elijah was happy to be around the other guys again. The past two months had been intense, filming exhausting Mordor scenes, crawling across the rocky slopes of a volcano, only him, Sean and, occasionally, Andy. For a few days the others had filmed in an area nearby, but that time had passed way too fast. Now they were all in the same place again, shooting a major scene for the first movie. All except Ian. The main reason for Elijah’s happiness was being on set with Dominic again of course.

Smiling up at Cate when the scene was done, Elijah stood up on his feet and stretched his legs. Who would have thought that kneeling could leave you this sore? He cast a glance to his right and saw Orlando, Billy, Dominic and Sean, all in costume and holding their presents in their hands. Orlando seemed to be very fond of his new bow and Dominic and Billy performed a mini battle with their daggers. Sean had his Elvish rope. In front of them the camera was attached to rails, so it could glide without shaking.

“Thanks, guys! Fifteen minutes break!” Peter shouted, taking a look at his monitor to check the footage. Cate was immediately surrounded by hair and make up artists and Elijah joined the others.

“Hey, you lucky bugger,” Orlando smirked, putting his bow down.

“Excuse me?” Elijah shielded his eyes from the glowing rays, looking amused.

“You got a kiss from Miss Blanchett.”

“Haha,” Elijah crossed his arms and cocked his head. “Do you have a crush on every woman here? I thought you are already in love with Liv.”

“That’s hopeless, mate,” Orlando whined. “She has a boyfriend already, you know that. Stop torturing me.”

He didn’t have a serious crush on Liv, but with so few women on set, the jokes either evolved around these crushes on Liv remarks or dirty gay remarks. Each of the guys had already been a “victim” of gay remarks, it was not targeted at anyone in particular. Though Orlando more often than the others.

“Who has a boyfriend already?” Dominic asked innocently as he stepped up to them. Raising a mocking eyebrow, he looked at Orlando with a pitiful expression.

“Beanie? Oh, I’m so sorry, Orli. Don’t worry, you’ll get over it. There’s plenty of shaggable fish in the sea.”

Orlando snorted and raised his bow again.

“Shove off, Monaghan. Don’t mess with me and my new toy.”

“Hey, don’t threaten my boyfriend,” Billy glared at Orlando and put a protective arm around Dominic’s shoulders. Dominic crossed his arms in front of his chest and shot Orlando a challenging look. Elijah watched them, struggling to keep himself from bursting into laughter.

“Oh, you hobbits drive me bonkers,” Orlando sighed dramatically and now even Dominic and Billy had to laugh.

“Are you guys annoying Orlando again?” Sean asked in a mockingly shocked tone as he approached Elijah and came to stand next to him. Elijah leaned into him, his eyes twinkling with joy.

“He’s just miffed because he can’t have Beanie. And he can’t have Dom or Billy either, so…”

Orlando giggled and pointed a playful finger at him.

“Ha, I remember a time when the Brits used to take the piss out of you and freaking you out. Now you all plot against me, not fair.”

“Aww, I remember that time, don’t you too, darling?” Dominic turned his face to Billy and pinched his cheek. Then he glanced at Elijah with a mischievous grin.

“Back when Lij was so clueless and innocent. I wonder what happened…”

Elijah shrugged and buried his hands inside the pockets of his hobbit pants as he grinned right back at him.

“Must have lost my innocence somewhere along the way…”

“Aye, don’t take it personally,” Billy told Orlando while Dominic and Elijah were still grinning at each other.

“People change and victims change.”

“I’ll get back at you,” Orlando said decisively, this time he was the one with the challenging look.

“At our next drinking contest. Tonight, if you dare.”

“Whatever your heart desires,” Dominic agreed.

Fernside Lodge, the home of the country estate that offered accommodation as well as meals with local produces, including wines from nearby vineyards, was their place to hang out at when the day was over and before they headed back to Wellington. Since they weren’t that far away from the capital, they used to commute between these two locations. They were filming at Fernside for four days only, so it was manageable without much complaining. Dominic made a mental note to return to this place once the movies were finished and to spend a few days here together with Elijah. It was one of the most romantic places he had ever seen.

Filming didn’t last very long that day since the sun disappeared rather quickly as it was the beginning of winter, so there were no more rays shining through the trees in order to create an ethereal atmosphere. The day-room of Fernside Lodge was like something directly out of an old novel. In fact, the entire house was built in the 1920s by an English architect and therefore looked like a classic English country house. There was an open fireplace, old paintings on the walls, fluffy carpets, comfortable armchairs and couches. Elijah crouched down in front of the fireplace, a glass with red wine in his hand. The wine from this area tasted better than anything he had tried before. The crackling flames warmed him up and he took another mouthful of wine.

“Something we need in our future house,” Dominic mumbled quietly as he knelt down beside him, holding a beer bottle. Orlando and Billy were chatting on one of the couches, as well as Viggo and Sean Bean who were sitting on the opposite side. They were waiting for the others to join them.

Elijah looked at him and smiled.

“Yeah. Practical and romantic.”

Watching Dominic’s face in the glowing orange light of the fire was definitely romantic and Elijah almost reached out his hand. But he didn’t. Dominic looked back at him and Elijah knew he was thinking the same. He sighed inwardly. More than ten days had passed since Dominic had told him that they should tell those who didn’t know yet. And Elijah had been torn ever since. Pros or cons, fear or relief, the truth or keep on hiding. He wished he knew the answer. He wished he could just let go of the insecurities and spill it all. How long would Dominic still take this shit from him? But Dominic did not urge him. He gave him his time, even if it meant waiting days or weeks. Even if Elijah thought he didn’t deserve it.

He sighed again and stood up as Sean and John entered the room. No more time for secret longing. Dominic got up as well and flopped down in the armchair next to the couch Orlando and Billy had occupied. There was still some space left, so Elijah sat down there, right between Dominic and Billy. Close but not too close. There were more drinks on the table in the middle. Beer and wine. Not a healthy mixture. Elijah pulled his legs up on the couch and held his glass with his right hand while putting his left hand on the armrest. Dominic was sitting with his legs crossed, but his upper body was leaning a little to the side. The side where the couch was. Elijah looked down at his own left hand and Dominic’s right hand. He could easily let his hand slide down from the armrest and rest it on Dominic’s instead. Intertwine their fingers, hold his hand. He wanted to. He wanted to so bad. But he didn’t.

“So, you wanted to do a drinking contest, Orli?” Billy grinned at Orlando beside him.

“A drinking contest?” Sean Bean laughed at him from the opposite side. “You’re bound to lose and you know it.”

“Mmm,” Orlando tapped his forefinger against his chin. “No, I have a better idea. Let’s play ‘I have never’. The old man league over there should approve of that.”

Viggo, Sean and John just snorted at that, but Billy frowned.

“’I have never’? What the hell is that?”

“Oh, you Scots are so uneducated. It’s a drinking game to extract secrets from everyone involved,” Orlando explained.

“Mostly dirty secrets of course,” Dominic added and rolled his eyes teasingly, like the whole idea totally annoyed him.

“Right,” Orlando said. “For example, I say a statement that is true about myself. Like, I have never been the ugliest member of the Fellowship. Whoever that statement does not apply to has to drink.”

“That’s so lame,” Elijah protested, downing the rest of his wine. “The only purpose is to make people drunk and embarrass themselves.”

“Hey, sounds like fun,” Billy grinned at him and then at Orlando. “Maybe you should start. With something harmless.”

“Okay,” Orlando sat up straight and cleared his throat. Elijah grabbed a full bottle of beer, mentally preparing himself for the countless gay remarks that would come up without any doubt.

“Something harmless,” Orlando took a look around and then fixated his eyes on Dominic and Elijah. He grinned.

“I have never peed into a national monument in public when I was pissed out of my mind.”

“Oh, you’re so nasty,” Dominic teased him and sipped from his beer bottle.

“We’ll still get you for that,” Elijah laughed and took a sip as well. “Sometime, when you least expect it.”

Sean stared at them with wide eyes and in total disbelief.

“You did what?”

“They peed into a fountain in the middle of Wellington,” Orlando informed him amused.

“And Orlando couldn’t keep his gob shut,” Dominic had to chuckle at Sean’s shocked face. It was a good thing Sean didn’t know the full story. He would probably blame Dominic for corrupting Elijah more than he already was.

“Nice start. Okay, I guess it’s my turn,” Billy paused briefly to think of something. “I have never been convicted.”

Nobody drank anything.

“What? And I was so sure you were, Orli,” Billy laughed.

“I’m a good boy,” Orlando looked at Elijah. “Your turn, little one.”

Elijah leaned back and grinned. The game wasn’t as bad as he thought.

“Alright, let’s get a little juicier. I have never read a porn mag.”

Dominic, Orlando, Billy and Sean Bean took a gulp from their bottles.

“Oh, you sodding liars!” Dominic giggled. “Are you men or are you men?”

“What’s the use of having naked people printed on paper?” Viggo shrugged dead seriously. “Unless we’re talking about aesthetic photos. I could even imagine being the photographer.”

“Fair enough,” Dominic took a mischievous look around. Time for the real juicy stuff.

“I have never kissed a guy.”

He lifted his bottle to his lips and so did everyone else surprisingly, except for Orlando. He laughed.

“Okay, I did not quite expect this result.”

“Hey, every man has a gay experience at least once in his life,” Sean Bean claimed, taking an extra sip of his beer.

“That’s right,” Viggo nodded, again dead serious.

Dominic’s curiosity was wide awake. Gay, bi or straight, each of the men in this room had kissed a man before. He found that mighty interesting.

“What was yours, John?”

“Harrison Ford,” John said without hesitation and emitted a deep amused chuckle at Dominic’s face. “Don’t tell anyone. He’s got the nicest lips.”

Elijah looked at him perplexed, but then he had to chuckle as well. He couldn’t picture the scene in his head, but he could imagine that Dominic was rather envious of that experience. Harrison Ford was not only Indiana Jones, he was also Han Solo. He was Star Wars. Star-struckness through and through.

“You never kissed a bloke, Orli?” Billy asked in disbelief. “Where are you living?”

Orlando actually seemed to be rather embarrassed by this. Elijah observed him from the side, a grin on his face. How ironic this suddenly was. Everyone had kissed a guy, except for Orlando and that made him kind of an outsider. Everyone seemed to think that kissing a man at least once in your life was absolutely normal. If you hadn’t done it yet, you were some sort of freak. Still, there was a difference between kissing a man out of curiosity, because you want to know what it’s like, and kissing a man you love. Not out of curiosity, but out of deep, devoted love. Kissing him more than once and doing even more things with him. A huge difference.

“Sorry,” Orlando muttered and Elijah felt the strange urge to give him a tight hug.

“We need to change that, what do you think?” Dominic asked and everyone approved of the idea loudly. May it be the increasing amounts of alcohol or sincere consent, Dominic rubbed his hands and looked at a pretty shocked Orlando.

“Wait, you wanna snog me?” Orlando stared at him for a moment before bursting into giggles. “Good one, real good one.”

“Hell yes, Dom is a great kisser,” Billy beamed at Dominic and gave Elijah a subtle wink. Elijah grinned. He caught himself silently wishing that Orlando would say yes. Simply because he was dying to know what his reaction would be.

“I bet you know that for sure,” Orlando said, but Dominic had already gotten up from his armchair and put his half empty beer bottle on the table.

“Come on, Orli. What do you have to lose? Except for your innocence,” Dominic put his hands on his hips and smirked down at him, wriggling his eyebrows in a very seductive manner. Elijah studied his entire appearance, from head to feet, wondering how Orlando could possibly resist this offer. Dominic looked incredibly enticing in that moment.

“Alright, wanker,” Orlando got up and shook his head. “Bloody hell, what are we, a group of little giggling schoolgirls?”

“Why yes, my darling,” Dominic said in a high-pitched tone.

“But no tongue,” Orlando warned him, stepping closer. Before he even realized what was happening, his lips were against Dominic’s in a firm but rather harmless kiss. No tongue, no touching, no groping, but it was consuming nonetheless. It lasted no longer than three seconds. During these three seconds Elijah experienced something he had never experienced before in his life. A sudden intense pang shooting through his body. It reminded him of something similar he had felt in Te Anau, when they had been about to board the speedboat. When the beautiful blonde girl had shown Dominic how to operate the boat and he had smiled at her and used his natural flirt skills. But what he was feeling right now was beyond that.

It seemed like forever until Dominic pulled away from Orlando. Both of them grinned while the others were cheering and whistling. Dominic sat back down in his armchair next to Elijah who struggled to look as normal as possible. Staring down at the bottle in his hand, Elijah heard someone say that it was Viggo’s turn now. He couldn’t tell who it was or what the new statement was. He was lost in thoughts.

 

~**~

 

The next day was also the last day at Fernside. The most beautiful location so far and filming had only lasted a few short days. Elijah leaned against the side of the make-up trailer and lit a clove, sighing heavily at the end of the day. Not because it was their last evening here. The day before had ended with Orlando getting pretty wasted, as usual, and with a couple of more embarrassing statements. Elijah had not gotten as drunk as he usually did. His mind was still preoccupied. Puffing his cigarette, he watched the sun slowly setting behind the trees as he was waiting. Only a few seconds later the trailer door opened and Dominic went down the short stairs. He was rubbing the back of his neck and spotted a brooding Elijah who was obviously off in his own world. He had been like this since the night before, as Dominic had clearly noticed. He slowly moved over to him.

“May I bum one?” he asked with a faint smile. Elijah reached into his pocket and pulled another clove out of the pack. He handed it to Dominic without another word and lit it with his lighter.

“Thanks,” Dominic took a deep drag and buried his free hand in the pocket of his jeans as he leaned against the trailer wall with his shoulder and looked at Elijah who was apparently still in his broody mood. He wanted to ask what was wrong but decided to wait a little longer. Whatever it was, he wanted Elijah to know that he could always come to him and talk to him, no matter what was going on. It took Elijah a few more minutes of silence until he eventually shifted his gaze away from the sunset. Exhaling the smoke, he lowered the clove and looked at Dominic.

“We should tell them.”

Dominic blinked, surprised about how perplexed those words made him. He had been wondering when Elijah would bring the issue up again and how much time he needed to mull it over. Now that he had brought it up, Dominic couldn’t help but feel a little taken aback. Maybe because Elijah had uttered it so decisively. Dominic was excited and confused at the same time.

“Really?” he frowned. He wanted to hug Elijah for making up his mind, but he was still too puzzled. “Why now? You were so scared at the mere thought.”

Elijah looked at him, his eyes gradually losing their resolute and somewhat hard expression. His gaze softened and he shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, sounding frustrated with himself. “Fuck…I need to grow up already. Why do you even put up with me?”

“What?” Dominic raised his eyebrows in bewilderment, moving a little closer to Elijah so they could continue talking with lower voices. “What makes you say that? Talk to me, Lij.”

Elijah held the cigarette to his lips and stared at the sunset briefly.

“I just think you’re right,” he shrugged and sighed before looking at Dominic again. “Think about last night. All of them have kissed guys before, even if it was just for fun, except Orlando. They seemed pretty cool about it, like they didn’t have a problem with it at all. And I feel so crappy because I probably do them totally wrong. And most of all, I don’t wanna do this to you. I know you want to tell them and you don’t because I’m acting like a baby once again…”

“Hey hey, stop there, Elijah,” Dominic interrupted him quickly before Elijah could get even further into one of his melancholy moods. “It’s not my decision. It’s ours. If you’re not ready for it, then that’s totally okay. I told you, I would never pressure you into doing something you don’t want.”

“I know,” Elijah said and kept on smoking in silence for a moment. Dominic watched him, puffing his clove until half of it was gone, then he stubbed it out on the ground.

“Lijah…,” he said gently. Elijah lowered his cigarette and gazed up at him. “Are you really sure that you want to tell them? You don’t have to do this just for me or because you have a bad conscience or whatever.”

Elijah leaned closer to him, a longing expression on his face.

“I want to do this, Dom. Yesterday when we were all sitting together, you so close to me, I was just thinking about how much I wanted to take your hand. I just wanted to get rid of all this fucking secrecy and stop pretending that nothing was going on. I just wanted to be myself. Without constantly having to think about what I’m doing when we’re with the others. But I just couldn’t. I was sitting there, struggling to act normal and keep on pretending. But it’s so wrong, Dom. I’m still fucking nervous, but yeah, one day they will learn the truth. It’s better to tell them ourselves.”

Dominic smiled softly. He couldn’t deny that he was nervous himself at the prospect of revealing this very special secret after so many months, but his desire to get it off his chest and hopefully being able to act like themselves whenever they were around their friends was much stronger.

“I can’t promise you that this is the right decision, Lij. I can’t promise you anything except that I’ll always be with you. No matter what happens, okay? At least we won’t have to keep on pretending anymore.”

Elijah nodded and chewed on his bottom lip. Everything was suddenly set and there was no going back. No more pretending. No more excuses.

“So, what else is on your mind?” Dominic asked out of the blue. Elijah’s heart had already started to beat faster, but now it was racing.

“What?” he frowned, but couldn’t help but feel embarrassed that he was caught. “How…oh…,” he stammered and Dominic chuckled.

“Come on, Lij. What is it?”

Elijah looked down at the clove between his fingers and sighed. He must have been rather obvious, but then again, Dominic had always been able to tell when something was bothering Elijah.

“It’s probably totally silly, but I can’t help it,” he shook his head and looked up again. “Well…seeing you and Orli last night…it was a little…well…awkward…”

Dominic stared at him for a moment, like he had no idea what he was talking about. But then he giggled and raised his clenched fist to his mouth in order to keep it quiet.

“What? Orli and me? Lijah, you know we were under the influence of a certain alcoholic substance and it was just mindless fooling around.”

“Yeah,” Elijah could feel a heavy blush creep over his face and bit down on his lip. “It was just…well, let’s say it wasn’t something I’m used to seeing.”

Dominic lowered his hand and sighed as he noticed how much this must have affected Elijah. Suddenly he had a very bad conscience and silently cursed himself.

“Lij…I’m…I’m sorry. I think sometimes I forget how different we are in some things. I guess I’m a little too outgoing from time to time and I don’t notice it. It’s hard to control, especially when I’m around so many cool people and we’re having a fun night.”

“It’s the British humor again, hmm?” Elijah smiled and stubbed out his clove with his foot.

“Something like that,” Dominic chuckled. “Besides, it’s just Orli. He’s probably still a virgin anyway.”

Elijah snorted and took a deep breath.

“I should know by now that you have this natural, outgoing behavior around people. I mean, it’s what has drawn me to you from the first moment on. There’s something about you that makes you so fascinating and that pulls people to you. You don’t have any fear of contact and you have chemistry with everyone and everything. Maybe that’s also why I got a little freaked out.”

Cocking his head to the side, Dominic frowned at the last words.

“Could it be that you’re still thinking about that girl in Te Anau?”

Elijah blinked, wondering if he was really that obvious or if Dominic was simply able to read his mind. The blush on his face got more intense.

“No…well, not her in particular, but you must admit that your flirty ways can be really overwhelming sometimes.”

“Lij...,” Dominic sighed, lowering his voice and looking into Elijah’s eyes. “Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean that I wanna get into every girl’s pants. And it doesn’t mean that I wanna be with a girl. Just like I don’t want to be with Orli. Like I said, I can hardly control it, it’s deep inside me and sometimes it just comes out. But Lijah, it’s not serious. I want to be with you and only you. I’m so sorry if I sometimes give you the feeling that it’s not true, but…”

“No no no,” Elijah shook his head and quickly silenced him. “It’s me, it’s my fault. I know you are like that around people and that you’re a natural flirt. You’re the total opposite of me. We have so much in common, but we’re also very different. But I know that you love me and that you want to be with me and only me. Really, ignore me, I’ll get over it.”

“I could never ignore you, Lijah,” Dominic said seriously. Elijah wanted to throw his arms around him and kiss him right here and now. Instead he simply hugged him. An innocent, friendly hug.

“I know,” Elijah said softly before pulling back again. “You’re always so wonderfully patient with me. Whenever I have my idiotic, girly fits…”

Dominic smiled. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

They smiled at each other until they both realized that it was time. Time to take the final step.

“Ready, baby?” Dominic asked and Elijah glanced at the lodge of Fernside in the distance. The windows were illuminated, but the rest of the house was dark due to the fading daylight. The others were already inside. The last day in this area. The first day of their new life. He looked back at Dominic and nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

The way towards the lodge was almost like a death march. Elijah’s heart was beating so fast that he could hardly hear anything else. None of them said a word until they were inside the warm house. The first month of the winter season and they had this cozy, warm house. They could hear muffled voices in the day-room. Familiar voices. Their cast mates. Their director as well tonight. Their friends. Elijah’s hands were sweaty and he wiped them on his jeans. They took off their jackets and left them at the hallstand. Then they stepped in front of the closed door.

Dominic turned his head and smiled at Elijah encouragingly. He was determined not to show him how nervous he was himself. It was the last thing Elijah needed right now. He reached out his hand. Elijah took it. He could feel that Dominic’s hand was as clammy as his. Dominic squeezed his hand and Elijah squeezed Dominic’s. They looked at each other for a brief moment.

“I love you,” Dominic whispered.

“I love you too,” Elijah whispered back and Dominic smiled at him one last time. Then he raised his left hand and pushed down the door handle. The door opened. Elijah felt ice-cold. They entered the room. Billy was the first one who noticed them. He was sitting in an armchair next to the fireplace. He smiled, but his smile quickly faded when he saw Elijah’s hand tightly held by Dominic’s. He didn’t look shocked. He looked confused. Sean looked shocked when he saw them. The conversations gradually fell silent. Orlando was sitting next to Viggo and Sean Bean on a couch. John and Peter in armchairs right next to them. Dominic kept holding Elijah’s hand as they slowly moved further into the now silent room. It was suffocating. They came to stand in the middle of the room. Elijah clung to Dominic’s hand, feeling everyone’s eyes bore into them. He could hardly look up. The only person he could focus on was Billy who stared at them intently. Holding Billy’s gaze, he reached around and held on to Dominic’s right hand with both his hands and stood as close to him as possible. When Dominic took a deep breath and spoke, his voice sounded awfully loud in Elijah’s ears.

“Elijah and I have something to tell you. We hope very much that you understand us and why we haven’t told you sooner. We are together. We’ve been together for seven months.”

It was as simple as that. The words hovered in the air and Elijah stared at Billy. He didn’t see anyone else’s reaction. He could only look at Billy. Drawing strength from him, besides from Dominic’s hand that he was clutching. Billy looked at him. Then at Dominic, then back at him. His confusion vanished. He smiled.

 

 


	36. Chapter 36

Elijah never thought that anything would ever be worse than coming out to his own mother. Sitting next to her, on Christmas, hardly able to look into her eyes, afraid to see disappointment, anger and shame in them. He had never been so nervous and scared before in his life. But this moment right now almost pulled the ground away from beneath his feet. Standing in the middle of the room at Fernside Lodge, seven pairs of eyes boring into him and his hands clutching Dominic’s so tightly like it was the only thing that kept him sane. And it was. Elijah had expected everything. Yelling, questions, maybe even acceptance and tolerance. But he had never expected to hear disbelieving laughter. 

“Oh, come on, you sods,” Orlando laughed, shaking his head. “It’s a real good one after last night, I even believed it for about two seconds.”

Everyone turned to him as he broke the silence. Nobody joined his laughter. 

“I don’t think they’re joking, Orlando,” Viggo’s serene voice was like a soft feather on Elijah’s anxious soul. He tried to hear any kind of judgment in the tone, but he couldn’t.

“No, we’re not joking,” Dominic confirmed, feeling Elijah’s tight grip around his hand. He glanced at him and Elijah glanced back, clearly unsure about what to say. His usually shining blue eyes were full of fear and uncertainty.

Orlando stared at Viggo for a brief moment, then at Dominic and Elijah. Leaning back, he clasped his hand over his mouth.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered, barely audibly. “I don’t believe this…”

Elijah dared to glimpse at Sean who was just sitting there like he was frozen to the spot. Peter was the first one to stand up. He went over to them slowly, running a hand through his thick beard and not saying anything for what seemed like forever. However, for some reason his appearance didn’t freak Elijah out as much as he had thought. But Peter had never done or said anything to freak him out yet or to make him feel uncomfortable in any way. He had always been relaxed and serene. Nothing had ever been able to knock him out or render him speechless. Up until this moment.

“I…I’m sorry…,” he began, evidently shaken and at a loss for words. “You two are…together? Since when?”

Dominic looked straight into his eyes. A strange déja vu feeling seized him. Elijah and he had been standing in front of the director like this, a couple of months earlier. In his office, in his home. Learning that Peter had found out about the fountain incident. Embarrassed like hell. But nothing compared to this.

“Since November,” Dominic stated and swallowed hard, his throat feeling awfully dry.

“November…Jesus Christ…,” Sean Bean mumbled and looked from them to Viggo. “You really didn’t know about this?”

Viggo shook his head without looking at him. He gazed at Dominic and Elijah and slowly lifted himself out of his seat. Scratching his stubbly chin and frowning slightly, he sighed quietly.

“You might understand that this comes as a bit of a shock to us,” he said.

“Yeah, a bit,” Orlando muttered in the background, sarcasm clearly audible in his voice. Suddenly he narrowed his eyes and turned to Billy who was pretty much the only one without a bewildered expression. 

“You…you knew, didn’t you?”

Billy felt awfully proud of Dominic and Elijah, but he couldn’t help but also feel sorry for them. There was no doubt, they shouldn’t have kept this a secret for so long. But now they had done it and it was the right thing to do.

“Yes,” he said and looked at Sean who was huddled back in his seat like he was desperate to somehow hide himself. “Sean knew as well. And Liv.”

“Oh, bloody awesome!” Orlando exclaimed and then he was up on his feet. After three firm steps he was facing Dominic and Elijah. “Man, after all the jokes we pulled…I never ever would have thought…what makes you tell the rest of us after seven months? Shit, I thought we were friends!”

“Orlando, please,” Viggo tried to calm him down, raising his hand in a calming manner. “Give them some space. I’m sure they had their reasons.”

“Yeah, we did,” Elijah eventually spoke and looked up, noticing that there was indeed not just anger in Orlando’s eyes. Above all, there was disappointment.

“I think we all should calm down first, this will get us nowhere,” that was John’s tranquil voice. He was still sitting, deliberately not getting up. His face held the usual allergic traces that his dwarf make-up used to cause. “Sit down again, please.”

Dominic gave Elijah’s hands a gentle squeeze, though he was the one whose hand was clutched tightly. He led Elijah over to a free couch next to the fireplace and sat down with him. Elijah pulled one hand away and lifted his fingers to his mouth, biting on a short nail. He was craving for a cigarette, as usual when he was nervous or scared, but right now the only craving he could give in to was his nail biting habit. Dominic held Elijah’s left hand in his lap, protectively and maybe also as a demonstration. Elijah belonged to him. He would always belong to him and everyone should see it. 

“Listen,” Dominic began after taking a deep breath. “We know we’re all friends, but sometimes there are situations you’ve never been in before and you just don’t know what to do, how to behave, what others may think. Elijah and I became great mates when we first came to New Zealand. Really, it was just a normal friendship, but in the course of time we realized that there was more between us…”

He paused and glanced at Elijah beside him. The younger man was looking at him, silently appreciating that Dominic was still rational enough and able to explain things in a calm manner. Everyone stared at them in silence. 

“We were aware that it was totally crazy and what we had gotten ourselves into was probably the riskiest thing ever, but what can you do? We couldn’t deny that there was something between us. It got more and more intense every day and eventually we gave in to it…”

Elijah’s initial reluctance to admit to himself that he was homosexual or about Sean’s attempts to break them apart was something he better left out. It didn’t matter anyway. Not anymore.

“Anyway, Billy knew about it from the beginning on and then Sean and Liv. We didn’t tell anyone else because as you can imagine, we didn’t want it to get spread around. We know it would be a huge scandal if it got public, so we told as few people as possible. But now we thought it was time to tell you. We really don’t mean to jeopardize anything. We kept it secret for so long, but you guys needed to know. You’re the people we’re closest to here. We won’t shout it from the rooftops, so you don’t have to worry. We managed to keep it secret from you, so we’ll manage to keep it secret from the public as well.”

That was it. It was out, all of it. Suffocating silence followed and those uncomfortably staring eyes again. Elijah lowered his hand, removing his fingers from his teeth and sighed deeply. No, not all of it was out yet.

“Before Dom came along, I didn’t even realize I was gay,” he said all of a sudden. Dominic was surprised that Elijah brought this topic up after all. His fingers automatically tightened around Elijah’s hand in his lap.

“Well, maybe I did feel it, but didn’t want to admit it. I had so many things to come to terms with after I got here. The movie, my role. I didn’t think I would make it. Then my…my sexuality and Dom of course. It all came so out of the blue for me and scared me shitless at the beginning…”

Elijah turned his face and looked up into Dominic’s attentive eyes. For this brief moment he actually forgot everyone around them. Warmth filled him, giving him a feeling of loving shelter.

“But not anymore,” he continued and even a faint smile appeared on his face. “I’m so happy right now. But I really hope you guys are not offended. It was a mistake not telling you sooner and I take the full blame. I was shit scared of your reaction and it only got worse. I’m glad you finally know now.”

He stopped, letting the words linger in the room and not knowing what else to say. They had said everything and he was relieved that they could get it all out without getting interrupted and yelled at. Tearing his eyes away from the safe haven that was Dominic’s face, Elijah took a look around and absentmindedly chewed on his bottom lip. 

Peter was sitting directly opposite them, his upper body bent forward and his hands folded, his elbows resting on his thighs. He inhaled sharply and gazed at the floor for a moment.

“Alright,” he said after a while and nodded faintly, looking up again. “You must understand, I’m talking to you as a director right now. Not as a human being, just as the director of the movie, okay? This is really bad. Like you said, this could jeopardize everything…”

Dominic and Elijah nodded in silence. They hadn’t expected anything else from Peter. Of course he wouldn’t be over the top happy about this news. Of course he would be concerned. But only as a director. 

“Really, I don’t mean to offend you in any way. I make movies. I know the industry is full of homosexual actors who don’t make it public. And they’re right not to make it public if you ask me. Ian came out rather late in his career and it didn’t really affect him in a bad way. But you…yes, it would be a scandal, you know that. I really appreciate your caution. It’s the only way to handle this situation. And I trust you, okay?”

Elijah felt tears threatening to wet his eyes at Peter’s words. He reacted like every director would have probably reacted. Worried about his movie. But he didn’t condemn them as people. Of course he didn’t, Elijah mentally slapped himself, wondering how he could even think something like that.

“And now I’m talking to you as a human being who is only slowly coming down from the shock of this surprising news,” Peter smiled gently. “And what can I say? Congratulations.”

His vision got momentarily blurred, so Elijah blinked a couple of times in an attempt to make the tears disappear. Peter accepted them. He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t yelling. He was smiling. All the previous anxiety and fear fell off Elijah in this very moment. If Peter responded like this, then the others wouldn’t respond much differently, would they?

“Thank you so much, Pete,” Elijah managed to get out in a humbled and grateful yet lightly shaking voice. Suddenly Peter was up on his feet and pulled Elijah up in a tight hug. Elijah sniffed quietly as he returned the embrace, his body trembling.

“Thank you so much,” he repeated and when he pulled back, he noticed that Dominic was standing next to him.

“Thank you, Pete,” Dominic smiled. He hugged the director and Elijah wiped at his eyes. His gaze fell on Orlando who was watching them with a now softer expression. Elijah felt awfully guilty. He could understand Orlando. He only hoped Orlando could understand them as well. And it was Orlando who spoke next.

“This is so surreal,” he snorted and couldn’t help the chuckle. “It was always Dom and Billy who acted all gay. You just overdid it so much that nobody took you seriously. It would have been way too obvious. But you and Lij…shit, you really did a great job all these months…”

“We did?” Dominic raised an eyebrow and wrapped his arm around Elijah’s shoulders. A simple action, but such a great feeling. “There were times when we really had to struggle not to throw obvious glances at each other.”

“When exactly did it start?” Viggo wanted to know. He sounded genuinely interested. No sign of condemnation. Elijah wanted to slap himself again. But it was still hard not to be suspicious. Not everyone had said something yet.

“November when we were in Te Anau,” Dominic smiled, looking at Elijah. “We went to the lake.”

“When you asked me for my rental car?”

“Yes. But I simply wanted to do something to make it up to Lij. Because he had gotten bollocked after we peed into that fountain. I had talked him into it, I had such a bad conscience. And then it happened.”

“So, does that mean I did you a favor?” Peter asked amused.

“No,” Elijah chuckled, pulling his legs up on the couch and leaning against Dominic. “It would have happened sooner or later. So…”

Taking a look around, Elijah thought it was time to ask the most important question. It was amazing how much Dominic’s close presence soothed him. Otherwise he was sure he would have been a bundle of raw nerves by now.

“What…what do you guys think? Is this okay for you?”

He felt Dominic’s hand on his shoulder, the gentle fingers stroking him calmingly.

“You should have come out with this sooner,” Viggo said seriously. “I mean, I understand why you didn’t, but seven months is a very long time. It must have been hard for you to keep up this charade.”

“I agree,” Peter nodded and looked at Elijah. “I told you that you can come to me, no matter what. As your director I need to make sure that my actors are fine. Usually I would say it’s your private life and none of my business, but I think we agree that this is an exception. All these months you were afraid. You had something that you thought you couldn’t share with us. Like Viggo I can understand why you didn’t tell us. But I think I’m speaking for everyone here, you don’t need to be scared. We already have a homosexual cast member. It doesn’t matter. What matters to me is that you do your jobs perfectly and that we get along with each other.”

Elijah listened to him and then briefly looked down at his wringing hands. He knew that afterwards you were always smarter and he tried not to blame himself too much. He had had enough of the self-blame to last him a lifetime. 

“It’s my fault,” he said sadly and looked up at Peter. “Dom wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t. I was too afraid.”

“Hey hey, stop that,” Dominic interrupted him. “We both decided to keep it secret, and just a few weeks ago I changed my mind and thought we should tell you after all. And by the way, it may not matter much, but Elijah and Ian are the only gay cast members. I’m swinging both ways.”

“Oh,” Orlando emitted and couldn’t help the grin. “So I do have to share the fangirls with you? Shite.”

“You can have them all,” Dominic grinned back at him. 

“But to come back to your question,” Viggo spoke up now. “I don’t think we have the right to say anything against it. I completely agree with Peter. You know I love you guys, you all are special and I support you, no matter what you do…”

Dominic smiled as he listened to Viggo, thinking about how much the older man really acted like a father figure for Elijah. One glance at the guy who was leaning against his side confirmed this. Dominic knew how much Elijah looked up to Viggo, how consumed he could get by him and how he used to hang on to every word Viggo said. Like Elijah had used to hang on to every word Dominic had said in the very beginning, absorbing everything in total fascination. But that had been something different of course. The fascination with Dominic had turned into deep, devoted love. The fascination with Viggo had turned into son-father feelings, whether Elijah was aware of it or not. Dominic could see it. Elijah was still a teenager, something one sometimes tended to forget. He needed somebody like Viggo in his life. And Dominic couldn’t think of a better person.

“I would always support someone who found their happiness. You two are still so young, enjoy your lives and don’t let anyone tell you that what you do is wrong. It’s your life.”

Elijah felt his heart pound in his chest, he was utterly overwhelmed.

“How could I ever think that you might say something different?” he said in a touched tone, more to himself than to Viggo. 

“You sound like me, Vig,” Dominic added with a gentle chuckle. “You’re not bi as well by any chance, are you?”

Viggo shook his head and grinned. “I’m afraid no. But I can imagine it’s a very liberating way of life.”

“You know, Vig, I’m not just saying this because you’re my best friend here,” Sean Bean placed his hand on Viggo’s shoulder, like he was about to defend him against someone. “But you do have a point. We’re not the ones you two should be afraid of that don’t support you,” at the last words he turned to Dominic and Elijah. “It’s the people out there. Not necessarily the audience. The media. If they say it’s a scandal, then it is a scandal and everyone else will buy it and get influenced. Haven’t you talked to Ian yet?”

“No,” Dominic sighed, remembering what Hannah had told him about her conversation with Ian. Not talking to him had been a mistake, Dominic knew that now. “We should have, but we didn’t. But he told Elijah’s sister about his coming out and that’s what got us thinking.”

He wondered if he should go on and tell them what exactly Ian had said, but he wasn’t so sure if Ian would approve.

“Ian is a very sophisticated, wise gentleman,” John interjected at this point. “But he was not in his early 20s when he came out. I had a conversation with him once. We both know more gay actors than we can count and he said he didn’t see the need to tell the world about himself. It distracts from who you are as an actor. People will reduce you to this aspect only, it’s really sad. I know how difficult it must be for you in this situation and starring in these movies, but please, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re worth less than you really are.”

Sean who was still sitting silently in his seat next to a very content Billy felt something gnaw at him. It had begun when Peter had spoken and gotten more and more intense since. Guilt was probably the best description. Watching Elijah’s face, seeing his expression shift from tense to relaxed and even happy, Sean realized just what a selfish bastard he had been. But it had been Peter’s words that had felt like a painful kick in the butt. Peter whom he admired, whom he emulated, whom he envied. Who had handled the situation much better than Sean. He could have freaked out as well, forcing Dominic and Elijah to stay away from each other right here and now. These were his movies after all, his life’s work that he had put so much into already. But no, he had done none of that. And Sean? He had acted like he owned this project, Mr. Big Boss who was in charge. Dominic had punched him for that, but Peter’s reaction had hurt much more. 

“Thank you so much, every one of you,” Elijah said, looking around and also gazing at Sean with a kind smile. Sean was a little taken aback but eventually smiled back. It was uncertain and crooked, but still a smile. “We were shitting our pants, seriously, I can’t tell you how relieved I am. And like we said, this will stay between us.”

“Yeah, no making out sessions in front of anyone but you, mates,” Dominic grinned and briefly placed a kiss on Elijah’s temple. He felt like embracing the whole world and crying for joy, but he remained sitting there in silent bliss, allowing the others to get over the shock that doubtlessly must still be there. And he couldn’t help but feel damn proud, not just of himself but of Elijah first and most of all. His development during these past couple of months was remarkable. It was almost a year since they first met and Elijah had been a bundle of insecurities and issues. Dominic had been determined to help him from the very first moment on when he had sensed that something heavy was burdening the boy. Their friendship turning into flourishing love gave Elijah a much needed sanctuary, something where he could find some peace of mind, constant support and the opportunity to grow and realize what he was capable of. Dominic could see that, every day. He was still Elijah, but the completely content and happy version. This was who he really was, it had just taken him a while to get there. Elijah was turning into a wonderful young man and he did so with Dominic by his side. And Dominic intended to stay there, for a damn long time.

 

~**~

 

June 22, 2000

Dearest diary,

How are you doing? It’s been a while since we saw each other, huh? Too bad you’re just paper, I could hug you. Wait, I can still do that, you’re a book. Hold on a sec…Okay, I’m back Yeah, call me crazy, but you should know that by now. Two days ago Lijah and I told our mates. God, we felt like we were going to our execution. I was so happy when Lij said he wanted to tell them. Nervous yeah, but happy. Orli laughed at first, he thought we were taking the piss. Bloody bugger. Okay, we often use to take the piss out of each other and especially Billy and I always act rather gay with one another. Can’t really blame him. Anyway, they were all so great. Peter is my new hero I think. He didn’t freak out. We got bollocked when he found out that we had disgraced that fountain, but now he was really cool. And Viggo was so amazing. Lijah loves him even more now. That was the best decision of our life, I’m telling you. When we went home that night, everything felt so fucking good. Do you know what this means? No more hiding, no more pretending. Yesterday we told Ian. It was so funny, he already suspected something. Not that Lij and I could be together but that Lij could be gay. His gaydar must have been about to explode. Heh. He’s such a wonderful man. He gave us some advise and congratulated us even. I can’t tell you what a feeling this is. It’s like we were accepted by the entire world, not just our mates here. And there couldn’t be a better time. Only a few more days and we’ll have a month off. Summer break. Or rather winter break. Lijah, Billy, Orli and I have some awesome plans, we’re planning a trip to Australia, no, no Star Wars involved this time, and a trip to Thailand. That’s gonna be ace. Now that Orli knows and isn’t pissed with us anymore for not telling him sooner, it’s gonna be even better. And Lij and I wanna go to LA for a week. That’s what I’m looking forward to the most. Hannah can’t wait to see us again and of course Elijah wants to introduce me to his mum. He’s so excited, it makes him even cuter than he already is. And I’ll finally see where he lives in LA. His home. Man, I can’t wait. I hope I can get at least Matt to New Zealand soon. He says he’d love to and he has time.  
Filming wise, we finished Lothlórien which was just magical. Those Fernside gardens are really supernatural, I’ll definitely go back there some day with Lijah. And it’s now an extra special place because it’s where we came out. Of course it’s nowhere as special as Te Anau. *g* Then after break it’s on to Isengard, Grey Havens, Anduin river, Cirith Ungol and all the rest. Six more months. What will happen then? I really don’t know. I can’t even imagine leaving this place and going back into my old life. Well, it’s not my old life anymore. Elijah is in it. It’s still so far away sort of and right now we’re filming and enjoying our life here.   
Anyway, enough for now. Until next time and one more hug.

Dominic closed his diary and put it into the drawer beside his bed along with the pen. Then he turned around and gazed down at the sleeping body next to him. Even when he was asleep, Elijah looked different now. He was lying on his side, his face turned to Dominic and completely and utterly serene. Dominic smiled and lay down, his eyes still fixed on that beautiful, pale, perfect face. He kept watching him for a very long time until the daylight faded more and more, leaving nothing but darkness.


	37. Chapter 37

“Two double beds?” Orlando put his hands on his hips as he stepped into the room and took a not quite seriously skeptical look at the furniture. The luxury of the room was striking, yet Orlando’s gaze seemed to be fixed on the beds only.

“How gay is this?”

“Hey, just the right thing for us,” Dominic grinned, patting Orlando’s back and carrying his suitcase into the room. Elijah and Billy followed him with their luggage.

“Fantastic,” Billy uttered. “Looks like I’ll be sleeping next to the beautiful Elf for a week.”

Orlando snorted and dropped his bag on one of the beds. “You’re lucky. But I’m warning you, no groping.”

“Mmm…you can grope me anytime,” Dominic smirked at Elijah and gave him a brief kiss on the lips.

Elijah giggled and looked at Orlando’s annoyed face. “Come on, Orli. You knew we’d have two double beds. Large double beds, that is.”

“Yeah yeah,” Orlando pointed his finger at him. “You better keep your nightly activities at bay, you dirty pricks. If I hear one moan from you…”

Dominic laughed and opened his suitcase. “We’ll just have to fill you up then. An easy task and you won’t hear anything.”

“Woah, fucking awesome,” Elijah gasped, moving over to the window and looking outside with wide eyes. “If this isn’t a view…”

It was indeed amazing. The spectacular waterside sight of Sydney Harbor with the impressive Opera House, Harbour Bridge, Sydney Cove, the locality of Circular Quay and the Rocks, the oldest preserved colonial region of the city. After a three hour flight from Wellington, Elijah, Dominic, Billy and Orlando had arrived at the Marriott Hotel right at the harbor, in the heart of Sydney’s central business district. A four week filming break lay ahead of them and one week of it would be spent in Australia. Unfortunately the winter season and the position of Sydney in the temperate, subtropical climate zone kept the temperatures rather low, but that hadn’t kept them from planning another trip here. In three days they would head further north into the tropical zone where the Australian winter was warm and sunny.

“Ohh, so many pubs out there that we haven’t checked out yet,” Billy said, scanning the area. “But remind me never to drink Australian whisky again. Yuck.”

“So many girls for Billy and me,” Orlando whistled, running a hand through his hair.

“Good luck,” Dominic wrapped his arm around Elijah’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Keep in mind, if you misbehave in this country, you’ll get kicked with a giant boot.”

Elijah laughed and looked up at him. “You definitely watch too much Simpsons.”

“Hope you don’t have a toad in your bag,” Dominic smiled and kissed him again, this time on the mouth.

A knock on the door interrupted them and they reluctantly pulled away. Orlando left the impressive view and went to open the door. Two bellboys were standing outside, each of them had two surfboards tucked under their arms.

“Awesome, thanks!” Orlando beamed and helped them carry the large boards into the room. He then handed them a generous tip and they left again.

“Get changed, my board is crying out for me,” he demanded and rummaged around in his suitcase for his wetsuit.

“Finally, surfing in Australia. My life is complete,” Dominic rubbed his hands together and pulled his shirt up over his head. Something caught his eye and he reached for the hotel info brochure on the table. Sitting down on the bed that was closest to the window, he skipped through the pages.

“Fitness centre, spa, swimming pool, sauna, massage treatments, video-game console in the room…yay…mini-bar…even better…golfing nearby...”

Elijah flopped down next to him and glanced at the info page. “No stereo system? How am I supposed to ease my music craving?” he asked.

“The other guests would rip your head off,” Billy joked. “Ian must be glad to have a break from the blaring music every morning.”

“Mmm, what do you say, Lij?” Dominic asked cheerfully, turning his head to Elijah’s radiant face. “You and I in the sauna, all alone…?”

“Ahem,” Orlando cleared his throat noisily. “This is not a lovey-dovey holiday. These two hot arses here want to be entertained as well.”

Elijah giggled at him. “Aww, poor Orli’s already feeling neglected and we’ve only been here for a few hours. What do we do?”

“Tell you what. Catch some waves!”

It really was anything but warm on this day, but it didn’t matter. At least not as long as they weren’t in the water yet. Bondi Beach, the most famous and popular Australian beach four miles east of central Sydney, stretched for over half a mile and was filled with swimmers, surfers and regular sun-bathing visitors. Bondi was actually a residential suburb of Sydney and a modern coastal resort. Despite the amount of locals and tourists that were drawn to the beach throughout the year, the sand was clean and soft like no one had ever stepped on it before. The surf was amazing as the wind was relatively strong, yet there were just a couple of minor clouds in the sky. Around the beach a great variety of restaurants and coffee shops catered to most tastes, from Asian food to vegetarian. Attractive parkland backed the seaside, as well as a fantastic promenade which continued along the coast and around the headland.

Dominic, Elijah, Billy and Orlando slowly walked across the sand in search of a suitable spot to drop their stuff. Since it was the middle of the week, the beach was not that crowded, so they could settle down near the water. They passed a sign saying _No dogs, no frisbees, no balls, no games, no food_ and Dominic snorted amused.

“Oh, no balls allowed? Guess that means Lijah, Billy and I have to leave again. Sorry, Orli.”

Orlando faked some laughter and snorted as well, but grinned nevertheless. He knew he was always the main target of the jokes whenever the hobbits were around him. He was convinced it was just because they all had, what he used to call, Elf envy.

“You’re so cute when you’re trying to be funny, Sblomie.” That was his new nickname for Dominic which basically made no sense at all, but that’s what made it so comical. Eventually they lowered the white surfboards on the almost purely white sand. Then they began shedding their clothes.

“Look at those waves,” Dominic shoved his sunglasses up his nose as he gazed into the distance. “New Zealand, what?”

“Now you can show what’s inside you,” Elijah said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, pulling his pants down and taking off his long-sleeved shirt. He and Billy had short-legged and short-sleeved wetsuits, whereas Dominic and Orlando were wearing long-legged suits. They were all black and glistened in the sunshine.

Dominic lowered his sunglasses a little again and glanced over the rim, his eyes traveling up and down Elijah’s body.

“Mmm,” he purred. “I know why I like this sport so much…”

“These wetsuits really leave nothing to the imagination, hmm?” Elijah couldn’t help but peek down Dominic’s body. “Nope, absolutely nothing.”

“Aaah, Simpsons quote,” Dominic laughed. “When Homer squeezes himself into his speedo with the smiley face on the arse and he’s so fat that the smiley turns into a sad smiley.”

“Is that the ‘Will you take us to Mount Splashmore’ episode?” Billy asked amused. “That one is great.”

“Yeah, best beginning of an episode ever,” Dominic nodded and took off his sunglasses, tossing them on the pile of towels. “And Ringo Starr is in it, so woo-hoo.”

“Okay now, stop babbling Simpsons and get your boards, midgets,” Orlando ordered and lifted up his surfboard with one swift movement.

Dominic, Elijah and Billy looked at each other, smirking mischievously.

“Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?” Dominic started and Elijah and Billy joined in unison.

“Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? “Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?”

“Effing hobbits!” Orlando sighed dramatically. “Last one in the water is a Gollum kisser!” he shouted and started to run towards the ocean. The others grabbed their boards and sprinted after him, still giggling and repeating the irritating question. They only stopped when they reached the sea and placed their boards on the water surface. Orlando was the first to lie down on his stomach on his board and paddled out to where the waves were building. Once the water started to carry him forward, Orlando jumped to his feet and proceeded to ride down the face of the wave, trying to stay just ahead of the breaking part, the white water. He didn’t manage to stay on top of his board for very long though as the speed of it knocked him off it with a splash.

“Bloody beginner,” Dominic laughed, sitting on his surfboard with his legs dangling into the water on either side.

“These waves are too much to handle for Mr. Show Off,” Billy snorted and frowned. “Did anyone check when the shark season starts in Australia?”

“I don’t think there’s a particular shark season,” Elijah said, but pulled his legs up on the board nonetheless. “If there are any, they’re here all through the year.”

“Hey, do you know why sharks sometimes attack surfers?” Dominic asked. “Because surfers look like seals when you look at them from down under. No pun intended.”

“Really?” Elijah sounded amazed and raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, if you think about it, it’s quite logical,” Dominic laid down on his stomach, his legs hanging down from the back of the board and his arms paddling in the water. “The board is the body, the legs and feet are the tail and the arms are the flippers.”

Billy grinned at the demonstration. “That makes sense. So, if you don’t want to be eaten, you should keep your legs and arms on top of the board, yes?”

“Maybe,” Dominic sat up again. They were now floating in the area further out on the sea where the surface was calm and no waves were building yet. “Sharks are probably the most misunderstood animals ever. They’re not the evil monsters that everyone thinks they are. There are so few shark attacks. They’re not out for humans, they just don’t have the best eyesight. Their sense is better, so they detect vibrations of other animals around them. And if a shark attacks a human, which happens rarely, they only bite once and then let go of you. Sure, if you’re unlucky you get badly injured, but they realize that you’re not their usual prey and they don’t like the taste of humans, so they don’t eat you.”

“That’s comforting,” Elijah chuckled. “Interesting, I thought you’re mainly a bug expert.”

“Nah, I find all animals fascinating. Especially those that are misunderstood by human society,” Dominic smiled at him. “A shark just needs to feel if his prey has blubber like a seal and humans don’t. But since a shark doesn’t have hands unfortunately, he has to do that with his teeth. It’s fatal for the human, but the shark means no harm.”

“So, if I’m simply swimming in the sea and see a shark, then what do I do?” Elijah wanted to know. He loved Dominic’s animal enthusiasm, especially when Dominic would share his knowledge about various insects and making them less gross and more captivating in Elijah’s eyes. Elijah could listen to him for hours, no matter what he was talking about actually. From the very beginning on, Elijah had felt drawn to Dominic, hung on to every word he had said and found it all overly fascinating. He didn’t think that would ever change. And he loved getting to know more things about Dominic every day, no matter what it was. He wondered what else there was to know about this guy who had captured his heart what seemed so long ago now. Elijah thought Dominic already knew all about him, which wasn’t difficult since Elijah was of the opinion that there was not so much interesting stuff to know about him. Unlike Dominic. He was different. He was exciting and always had something to tell which made Elijah feel drawn to him even more.

“Just don’t splash and kick around. With those rash movements you look like a wounded animal, so the shark thinks you’re an easy meal,” Dominic explained with a grin.

Billy turned his head and shielded his eyes from the sun as he watched Orlando trying to paddle his way towards them while he was fighting the waves.

“Aww, poor baby,” he snickered and looked at Dominic and Elijah again. He smiled. “I have to say it again and I know you’re probably sick of it by now, but I’m so proud of you.”

“No, we’re proud of you,” Elijah smiled. “What would we have done without you, huh? Do you even know what you’ve done for us, just by being there?”

“Oh, shut it,” Billy shrugged, but felt a light blush creep over his face. Hearing such emotional words of thankfulness was not something he was very much used to. “I’m not the one who convinced you to come out.”

“Lijah is right, Bills,” Dominic nodded seriously. “You were the first who knew about us and you kept us together when we hit that rough patch. It was you who wiped my arse off the floor…”

“Well, what did you expect? That I would just sit there in the feet trailer, wondering why you don’t show up and just shrug and go on set? Of course I would get up and look for you and knock some sense into you. Both of you,” Billy added with a light chuckle.

Elijah sighed and smiled almost shyly. “Well, you’ll never get into such a situation again. I hope. No, I promise.”

“Nah, whenever you need me, I’ll be there,” Billy winked. “Seriously, I’m so glad you came out. You know, we Scots have a saying. ‘Liars should have good a good memory’. Think about it. One day you would have given yourselves away somehow.”

“Right. And everyone wondered why Elijah wasn’t all over Liv like every other normal bloke was,” Dominic giggled at Elijah who rolled his eyes playfully.

“Just because I asked her about Aerosmith and not for a date?”

“Yes,” Dominic put his hands in front of him on the board and tilted his head. “You were way too obvious, baby.”

“Bite me, macho,” Elijah laughed and Dominic blew him a kiss.

Billy watched them pleased. “I see everything’s back to normal.”

“Hey, what is this? Coffee morning circle?” Orlando finally reached them, lying on his stomach and paddling with his arms. “Or are you exhausted already?”

“We were just waiting for you. Let’s go!” Dominic said and together they paddled towards the shore, to the area where the waves were building.

Thanks to the wetsuits, the chilly water didn’t feel that chilly after all. Elijah had always loved watching Dominic surf, more than he liked doing it himself. Dominic and Orlando were the sports and nature freaks of the group and their favorite activities reflected that. But what really mattered was having something to share with the others, something you could bond over, something to keep them together and “sane” – as Orlando used to put it – during this sometimes crazy time.

“You know what?” Orlando said as they dragged their surfboards back on the sand after an excessive wave riding session. “I’ve got the most awesome idea. Remember, we wanted something to connect the Fellowship? Something more permanent than a booze-up in town?”

“What could be better than a booze-up in town?” Dominic inquired, sounding totally serious and clueless. He held up a large towel in front of Elijah who was busy peeling himself out of his wetsuit. Nobody had recognized Elijah yet, at least nobody had approached him. But even if they recognized him and just didn’t say anything, you could never be sure that people wouldn’t take any secret photos or whatever. A nude scandal would be almost as bad as a gay scandal. And besides, Dominic was the only one who was allowed to peek and more. He smirked at that thought.

“Yes, imagine that. How about getting a tattoo?”

“What?” Elijah’s voice was like a shrill shriek and he cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Of course,” Orlando beamed brightly, visibly excited and convinced of his idea. “After all we’re in New Zealand. Well, not right now, but it’s such a tattoo culture. Everyone there has one and I think it would be bloody brilliant.”

“Mmm,” Billy pondered, struggling to get out of his suit elegantly and slipping into some normal clothes. “I don’t know. That’s something we should really think about. I mean, we’ll have to live with it for the rest of our lives.”

“I think that would be ace,” Dominic managed to tear his eyes away from Elijah’s pale, nude groin and looked up. “I always wanted one anyway.”

“Seriously?” Elijah briefly stopped pulling up his pants. Something else he hadn’t known about Dominic yet. It was interesting what you sometimes learn about other people by coincidence, simply because someone happens to bring it up. “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe something Beatles related,” Dominic smiled at him.

“But it must hurt like hell,” Elijah protested, finishing dressing the lower part of his body much to Dominic’s dismay.

“Doesn’t have to be the entire map of New Zealand,” Orlando laughed and put his sunglasses on his nose. “A word from the books or something. Like Fellowship.”

“Or a line,” Dominic suggested. “’One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, one Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them…” His voice got lower and lower as he went on.

Billy cackled, running a hand through his wet hair. “That line always makes me think of marriage, for some reason.”

“And it’s way too long,” Elijah added. “But yeah, if it wasn’t so painful, I would go for it. But we should wait till filming is over. Maybe something horrible happens and we all hate each other. Then we would have a permanent reminder.”

“Or the films end up being total flops and ruin our careers,” Billy joked and cringed exaggeratedly.

“Oh, shut up, you twats,” Orlando growled, beginning to gather his stuff and lifting up his surfboard. “I’ll ask Viggo, I bet he’ll approve.”

Dominic smiled and looked at the guy to his right. Elijah’s towel dry hair was tousled, his pink lips even more striking compared to the whiteness of his skin, his adorable little tooth gap showing every time he giggled or smiled.

“I’ll never have bad memories of New Zealand, on the contrary…,” he said dreamily.

Elijah gazed up and blushed as he realized this had been about him. “Damnit, stop making me blush every fucking time,” he chuckled, reaching up and touching his cheeks.

“We’ll think about it,” Billy assured Orlando when Dominic and Elijah threatened to disappear into their own little world.

Campbell Parade, the ocean road where the majority of the cafes and shops could be found, was the last destination before they brought the surfboards back to the hotel. Very few of the shops were bigger than an average car garage. Among the colorful buildings there was a blue parlor that sold New Zealand Ice Cream and was immediately attacked of course. The clerks had an interesting funnel machine that could mix two flavors together as it dispensed the ice cream into a cup. Billy found himself particularly fond of the combination Irish Creme and Irish Whiskey. Of course Scottish Whiskey would have been even better.

First Australia, then Thailand. Two weeks in two different countries, two weeks of bonding, experiencing the beauty and adventure, not just with your colleagues, but with guys that had come to grow so close to you that you never wanted to miss them again in your life. And, above all, with the one person you fell irrevocably in love with. There really couldn’t be a better vacation.

 

~**~

 

“Okay, the coast is clear,” Dominic glanced around the corner into the spa hallway and took Elijah’s hand.

“Why, of course it is,” Elijah struggled not to giggle out loud at Dominic’s weird, mysterious behavior. “We made a reservation, remember?”

“Hmm…you never know,” Dominic said in a low voice as he pulled Elijah with him towards the door at the far end of the corridor. “There may be intruders everywhere. Better be safe than sorry.”

“You’re fucking nuts, have I ever told you that?” Elijah grinned and Dominic turned his head briefly around to smirk at him.

“Sounds familiar…”

They reached the door and Dominic pushed down the handle. The door swung open and the splendor behind it made Dominic whistle in amazement and Elijah gasp audibly. The tiles of the shower room were pure white, but the atmosphere was anything but cold since warm light illuminated the room. On the left there was another door made of wood with a small glass window. Dominic went over to it after locking the main door, Elijah’s hand still in his. He opened the wooden door and glanced into the sauna room.

“There is something romantic about saunas, isn’t there?” Elijah said as he followed Dominic’s gaze.

“I find them rather sexy,” Dominic turned to him, his voice still low and dark. “You’re naked, you sweat, you have gorgeous naked blokes around you if you’re lucky,” he smiled cheekily.

“Oh?” Elijah pretended to be incredibly upset and let go off Dominic’s hand to cross his arms in front of his chest. “Other guys, huh?”

“Yeah,” Dominic purred and leaned a little closer. “Gorgeous hunks who all lust after you but can’t have you…”

“Now, that sounds more acceptable,” Elijah murmured before his lips were claimed by Dominic’s. These moments were rare since they went on vacation with Billy and Orlando. The moments of being alone and being able to sink into deep and absorbing kisses. The trip had been absolute fun so far and they were enjoying every minute, but the romantic moments were losing out. It was their last day in Sydney. Tomorrow they would move up into the northern territory of the country, the area that was warm even in winter and to the city of Darwin. But for their last evening here Dominic had reserved the sauna facilities, as he had planned on their first day. These quiet moments of solitude should not be missing, even if you were doing a fun trip with your friends.

“Mmm…,” Elijah smiled, reluctantly pulling away from Dominic’s mouth. “Let’s go. They already heated the thing up.”

They were both wearing hotel bathrobes which they now untied and let them drop to the ground, leaving them completely nude. Before he shed the robe, Elijah pulled a shampoo and a shower gel bottle out of the pocket and put them on the floor right underneath the shower nozzle. Dominic tried his best not to stare down at Elijah’s inviting lower regions. If he did that, then the sauna would be ice cold before they finally entered it. So he just grabbed one of the towels that were lying on a bench nearby and handed it to Elijah. Then he grabbed one for himself and together they entered the heated room. The wooden benches and the lamps that were attached to the walls behind them created a cozy feeling that engulfed them as soon as Dominic closed the door. Elijah placed the towel on one of the benches and sat down on it, then he covered his groin area as well. Dominic lowered himself next to him and did the same. Spotting the heater with the coals on it, a few small bottles of oils and a small bucket with water and a ladle next to it, Dominic got up again to add some aromatic scents to the heat.

“What would you like? We have lavender, eucalyptus, rosemary, lemon, peppermint, grapefruit…”

Elijah watched him with half-closed eyes, his body already relaxing and getting used to the pleasant heat. “Mmm, grapefruit.”

Dominic took the bottle and opened it, adding a few drops to the water. Grabbing the ladle, he poured some of the water over the coals. It immediately evaporated, creating more heat but also a striking fruity scent.

“Thank you very much, James,” Elijah said in an exaggerated English accent.

“You’re welcome, my Lord,” Dominic returned to sit next to him and kissed him before taking his hand. “The way your skin looks, you must be going to the sauna at least five times a week.”

“It’s the genes, I’m telling you,” Elijah snorted, locking his fingers with Dominic’s and turning his body a little, so his left leg was draped over Dominic’s thighs. Taking deep and shallow breaths, he inhaled the grapefruit scent and placed a kiss on Dominic’s cheek. “Another romantic idea. We’re getting better and better.”

“I’m glad we could persuade Billy and Orli to have a few drinks without us,” Dominic smiled, tucking a damp strand of hair behind Elijah’s ear. “It’s been an awesome trip so far, but I miss these being alone with you moments.”

“Me too,” Elijah held on to Dominic’s hand with both of his now, a relaxed and serene smile on his face. They sat in silence for a few minutes, simply soaking up the heat.

“You know what I find cool?” Elijah said eventually. “All the things we find out about each other that we didn’t know yet. I didn’t know that you thought about getting a tattoo or that you knew so much about all different kinds of animals or that you like English toffee, banana and mango ice cream all at once.”

Dominic giggled and put his free hand on Elijah’s sweaty knee, gently stroking the skin there. “Looks like we’re still in the getting to know each other phase. But that’s one of the interesting things about being in a relationship. Finding out random stuff in the course of time and one day you’ll find something out that totally disgusts you.”

“Like keeping bugs as pets?” Elijah grinned, watching a drop of sweat slide down Dominic’s temple.

“No, I said something _disgusting_ ,” Dominic winked and kissed Elijah’s tempting lips. “I told you about how I joined the Manchester Youth Theatre, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” Elijah laughed. “How you auditioned for the first time when you were 14 and they called you back and you said you wanted a leading role because you didn’t want to waste your time with anything else.”

“Exactly. Time is money after all. That was also the summer when I lost my precious virginity.”

“The same summer?” Elijah raised his eyebrows. “I thought it was later. Wow, it all came at once for you, huh?”

“You could say that,” Dominic chuckled and chewed on his bottom lip, almost getting a little timid. “But…there’s one thing you don’t know yet…”

Elijah didn’t know if he should frown and be worried or if he should be amused by Dominic’s words. “What? What is it? You didn’t lose your virginity to a girl?”

“Yes, I did,” Dominic stopped biting on his lip and laughed nervously. “But after I slept with a man for the first time, I sort of got into this…well…more severe experimental phase…,” he trailed off again, wondering how Elijah would react if he knew what followed.

“Uhm okay? And experimental like how exactly?” Elijah asked, even though he had a vague idea where this might be going.

Pulling his hand away from Elijah’s knee, Dominic reached behind his head and scratched the back of it, looking like he was thinking about what to say next. Or rather, how to put it into words.

“Like…not the usual boy and girl or boy and boy thing…”

Elijah blinked, now knowing for sure. Strangely the first thing that came to his mind was why Dominic was so reluctant to tell him. He was probably the most open and direct guy Elijah knew.

“You mean, like three guys at once?” Elijah said straight forward and Dominic dropped his hand, nodding slowly.

“Yes. Shocked?”

Elijah looked at him in silence for a few seconds and then emitted a giggle. “No, to be honest, I’m not.”

Dominic was utterly perplexed for a moment, but then he had to giggle as well and Elijah joined him. They laughed despite the heat, their increasing pulse rates and the intensifying perspiration.

“I really can’t shock you anymore, hmm?” Dominic wiped some of the sweat away from his cheek. It was almost time to get out again and cool off.

“Why were you so nervous to tell me?” Elijah wanted to know, removing his leg from Dominic’s thigh. “Did you think I would be totally turned off?”

“Maybe…,” Dominic put his hands on the bench and stared at the floor for a moment, deliberately avoiding Elijah’s gaze. “I thought that…well…I know you’re not that innocent anymore, but a part of me still thinks you are in a way. You know, you give off this pure and harmless and sometimes vulnerable vibe…”

Elijah couldn’t help but grin at that. He was very much aware of the effect he had on people. He was still the little boy everyone wanted to look after. He was the baby of the Fellowship and he didn’t think this perception would ever change. And somehow Dominic thinking of him as innocent and pure just made Elijah love him even more. It wasn’t like Sean of course. Sean had treated him like he was his child at times, like he was someone who couldn’t make his own decisions. Dominic treated him like the adult that he was, but an adult he was in love with and always wanted to take care of.

“You’re so adorable,” Elijah stroked Dominic’s back which was slick with sweat. Dominic looked up again and straight at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you…,” Elijah kissed him, tasting his salty lips. “You corrupted me so much already, yet you still worry about it. I’m not _that_ innocent, you know.”

“Corrupted only in a good way, I hope,” Dominic took Elijah’s sweaty hand and pulled him up from the seat.

“Absolutely. I know people still see me as this little boy who needs protection all the time. I don’t know, must be my puppy eyes or something.”

Opening the sauna door, Dominic laughed and stepped into the cooler shower room. “The eyes definitely must have something to do with it. But I’m glad you don’t mind.”

Elijah dropped his towel and inhaled deeply. “It’s not like you treat me like a baby. You just want to take care of me, like I want to take care of you. Because I love you.”

Dominic smiled and cupped Elijah’s flushed face in his hands. Wet strands of dark hair covered his forehead, his skin was rosy and his eyes big and shiny as ever. He kissed the pink lips and pulled back again. Then he removed his own towel from around his waist. “And I love you too,” he murmured. Elijah smiled up at him happily.

“Good,” he stated and looked around the room. “Shower and then pool?” There was a little pool behind another door with a glass window, so you could first take a quick shower and then plunge into the water.

“Sounds like bloody heaven,” Dominic moved over to the shower and turned on the water. It was a cold relief after the sauna heat and he ran a hand through his hair, feeling the sweat wash away. Reaching out his hand, he pulled Elijah towards him who gasped at first as the showerhead sprayed the cold water down on his body.

“I thought I’m the temperature sensitive one here,” Dominic chuckled, moving his fingers through Elijah’s hair.

“You are,” Elijah said decisively, trying not to shiver too visibly. “So, who were those two other guys and how was it?”

Dominic smirked at the question. Certainly not innocent anymore. “Just acquaintances. And it was…well…it was okay.”

“Okay?” Elijah asked bewildered. “Not mind-blowingly awesome?”

“Would have been mind-blowing if you had been one of them,” Dominic turned the water off without looking at the knob. “But I prefer concentrating on one person anyway…”

“Really?” Elijah stepped closer, his eyes briefly traveling down Dominic’s well-formed body and back up again. “Me too…”

“What a wonderful coincidence,” Dominic embraced Elijah’s damp body which was cold but already warming up again. Elijah lifted his arms and wrapped them around Dominic’s neck, pressing himself up against him and sinking into a deep kiss. It felt like forever since they had been close like this. Nude, kissing, touching, without having to worry about anyone else in the room. Elijah buried his tongue deep inside Dominic’s mouth and hissed as their groins touched and their already hardening cocks came into contact.

“Mmm…,” Dominic moaned, his hands moving down to Elijah’s soft, round butt. He wanted more. He needed more, and one look at Elijah told him that he wasn’t the only one. He briefly forced himself away from Elijah’s mouth to kneel down and pick up the shampoo bottle that Elijah had placed on the ground earlier. When he stood up again, he claimed Elijah’s lips again, but this time a wave of passion seized him so heavily that he pushed Elijah up against the wall.

“Think that…door is…thick enough?” Elijah managed to get out in between his panting, not even noticing the chilly tiles that his back was pressed against.

Dominic opened the bottle and squeezed a generous amount onto the palm of his right hand. Then he put the bottle back down on the floor. “Our time’s not up yet…”

Reaching around Elijah’s hips, he spread the gel around the opening and used first one finger to work it into the narrow hole. Elijah emitted a pleasant moan and sunk back against the wall, but Dominic grabbed his right leg and helped Elijah wrap it around his waist to keep him upright and against him. This made their cocks rub together once more and the groans of both guys filled the room. Dominic added another finger as he continued working the shampoo into Elijah’s anus and utterly enjoyed the reactions of his body. The shivering, the gasps, the sharp intakes of breath, the fingers that were clutching at his back and shoulder blades.

“Mmm…baby…,” Dominic breathed against Elijah’s parted lips, his fingers never stopping their movements. “You know how hard it was not to touch you on the beach…?”

Elijah opened his eyes a crack and looked at him, a desirous yet knowing smile on his face. “I could feel your…eyes all…over me…aaahh,” his own low moan interrupted him as Dominic’s two skilled fingers nudged his prostate in a most pleasing way. Pulling away from Dominic’s mouth, Elijah pressed his lips against Dominic’s shoulder and bit into the wet skin there, leaving small reddish marks. Dominic smirked at the passionate act which turned him on even more and gazed down Elijah’s back. He watched his fingers slide in and out between Elijah’s buttocks, lubing and preparing him, gently and thoroughly as always. Elijah began rocking his hips back, receiving Dominic’s fingers and silently asking for more. The motion caused their cocks to grind against each other repeatedly and Dominic had to gather all his remaining self-control. His fingers stretched and probed until eventually he could feel that Elijah was ready. Elijah emitted a small groan of protest when the probing stopped.

“Nnngh…more…,” he begged in a pleading tone.

Dominic couldn’t wipe the smirk off his face. He watched how Elijah knelt down and grabbed the shower gel bottle. His blue eyes gazed up at him and he licked his lips. Then suddenly Dominic’s legs threatened to give in as he felt a hot, firm suction around his rigid cock. Elijah’s mouth engulfed him, taking in as much as he could and moving his lips up and down the length. Dominic moaned and threw his head back, his fingers grasping and pulling at Elijah’s wet hair. He struggled not to thrust forward into that delicious heat, not wanting to cause Elijah to retch, but it was too tempting. Elijah seemed to sense his desire. Keeping his lips firmly around the stiff flesh, he stopped his movements and waited for Dominic’s fogged up mind to take the hint. After a few more seconds Dominic’s hips started rocking slowly, pushing his penis into Elijah’s mouth and pulling it out again, in and out, over and over again. Elijah, who was still holding the bottle in one hand while the other reached around Dominic’s hips and cupped one of his buttocks, swirled his rough tongue around the sensitive head of the cock inside his mouth and then moaned around it, sending tiny vibrations through the shaft.

“Oh baby…need you…,” Dominic groaned low in his throat, still running his fingers through Elijah’s hair. Elijah hummed and eventually decided to release Dominic’s cock again which now was covered with saliva. But that was not enough. Elijah opened the bottle and squeezed the content onto the rock-hard, erect penis that jutted out from between Dominic’s damp pubic hair. He didn’t even notice that he spread way more shower gel over it than would have been necessary. Putting the bottle back on the ground, Elijah coated the cock generously until it was dripping. Then he stood up. Dominic pushed him against the wall again, but not before turning him around. Elijah pressed his hands and lower arms against the tiles and leaned a little forward to give Dominic better access. Dominic licked his lips at the luscious sight, placing his hands on either side of Elijah’s hips and pushing his slick cock into him. He held his breath until he was all the way in, then exhaled heavily. All of a sudden the earlier cold of the water was gone and he felt incredibly hot. He let go off Elijah’s hips and enfolded his waist with his arms. There were still some water drops on Elijah’s shoulder and Dominic attached his lips to the wet, pale skin as he began to thrust. Slow, intense thrusts and it didn’t take long for him to find the right angle in order to hit Elijah’s prostate. Elijah moaned out loud, keeping his hands against the wall to brace himself. Dominic’s mouth licked and sucked the cold drops off his shoulder and then traveled to the side of his neck. Each thrust triggered a small pleasant wave deep inside Elijah’s loins and soon he moaned continuously, his head falling back on Dominic’s shoulder. Before he could reach down and take hold of his neglected, aching hard-on, Dominic had already taken care of that. Long, slender fingers surrounded Elijah’s cock, squeezing and stroking it in rhythm with the thrusts. They moved together like this, Dominic rocking his hips in a steady pace and Elijah arching his back, his eyes shut and lips parted as he moaned lustfully.

Gradually Dominic increased the speed. His hand tightened its hold on Elijah’s throbbing cock and his thumb pressed against the leaking slit. If he hadn’t been trapped against the wall and Dominic’s body, Elijah would have collapsed on the floor. His right hand flew down and covered Dominic’s. They both didn’t last much longer. Dominic grunted and his rocking stopped as he came deep inside Elijah’s responsive body. Elijah’s entire body stiffened and his jerking cock spilled his seed against the tiles of the wall. Keeping his arm loosely around the pale torso in front of him, Dominic breathed heavily against the heated skin of Elijah’s neck in an attempt to come down from the first euphoric wave of his orgasm. When he regained some sort of control over his body, he placed a soft kiss where his lips where and sensed rather than saw Elijah turn his head slightly. He opened his eyes, gazing at Elijah’s flushed face. The blue eyes were still closed. Dominic kissed Elijah’s mouth and turned him completely around in the process.

“Mmm…,” Elijah leaned forward and draped his arms around Dominic’s neck, feeling weak and spent. His lips remained against Dominic’s as he mumbled quietly, almost in a whisper. “Thank you for this…”

Dominic smiled as Elijah finally opened his eyes a little and looked at him. “For _this_?”

“Everything,” Elijah stroked the hair at the back of Dominic’s head. “Tonight…coming here was a great idea…”

For some reason the double meaning behind those words didn’t strike Dominic as funny as it normally would have. His entire body was still tingling and he held Elijah close against his chest. The moment was just too perfect.

“It was,” he simply said, kissing Elijah’s irresistible lips once more. “Cooling off can wait a little longer.”

Elijah lowered his voice some more until it was nothing but a soft whisper. “I love you, Dommie…more and more every day…”

“Lijah…,” Dominic hugged him even more tightly, though that was hardly possible. “I love you too, baby…you have no idea…”

They lingered like this for a while, locked in each other’s embrace. They only pulled apart when someone knocked at the door, indicating that their precious sauna session was over. It was time to go back, back to Billy and Orlando and continue their vacation. One and a half more weeks with the other guys. But they would find more private moments alone. They always did.

 

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

The stars were shining brightly in the sky above the city of Darwin and the night air was warm yet rather comfortable. None of this was noticed by the young man who was lying on his back beneath a palm tree somewhere in Bicentennial Park. His eyes were open, but glassy and unfocused as he stared up at the palm tree leaves. He was completely and utterly wasted.

“Orli Shnorli,” Dominic tried to not stumble over the person on the ground, which was a futile attempt. Instead he fell over Orlando’s body and dropped down on the grass next to him, half laughing, half cursing. Leaning over Orlando’s face, he grinned down at him. “Bad sleeping place, mate. Come oooon…or do you want dogs pissing on you…”

It took him longer than it should to get the words out and when they did, they were more like one long slurry noise. He wasn’t aware of the two guys coming up behind him. Billy was the only one who was still partially conscious of what was going on. Out of the four of them, he was probably the one who would not pass out after one beer too many. He walked slowly, his arm around a staggering Elijah whose eyes were just as glassy as they were big.

“Who’s that?” Elijah slurred, a frown on his face. Then he suddenly broke into a beam. “Orliiii!”

“Bloody shite, Lij,” Billy winced at the high-pitched shriek. Elijah was already sagging heavily against him, so he slowly lowered him down on the grass.

“It was the Smurfs!” Orlando yelled abruptly, still staring up into the night sky. “They attacked me…,” a hiccup interrupted him.

“I knew it…,” Elijah crawled over to him, seemingly dead serious. “They do exist…”

“Dom…we…eww…,” Billy knelt down with a light swaying motion, only now noticing the fair puddle that was next to Orlando’s head.

“Dom, don’t let me down here, mate,” he tore his eyes away from the former contents of Orlando’s stomach and looked at Dominic who was crouching beside Orlando’s body and stared down at him. When Billy spoke, he finally looked up.

“Why would I let down my best mate, mate?”

“Because you’re as pissed as a fart. And right now you’re the only one who can help me get these pretty boys back to the hotel.”

“Oh,” Dominic glanced at Orlando’s face which was glistening with sweat. “Okay, be right there.”

Shaking his head in order to clear his mind at least a little bit, he shifted to sit on his haunches and pulled Orlando’s right arm up.

“Thank bloody God,” Billy knelt down on the other side and did the same with Orlando’s left arm. “If you have to puke again, please over your shirt,” he warned Orlando. Together they managed to get him into a sitting position.

“Elijah?” Dominic took a frantic look around as he couldn’t spot him anywhere at first. Despite his dizzy mind and everything around him was spinning he was still able to curse himself. He had never been too drunk to notice anything, let alone stay capable of walking on his own during their nights out at the pubs. It had never been this bad in New Zealand. But this was the first time he wished he had had better control over himself. It was probably the heat up here in the northern part of Australia that had knocked him out, combined with the alcohol of course. He had always wanted to stay more or less conscious so he could make sure that Elijah would still get home safely. Elijah was as sensitive as Orlando when it came to drinking.

“I think I’m…gonna…puke…,” Elijah growled and finally Dominic saw him. He was lying on the grass just a few feet away, emitting short puffs of breath which indicated that he was indeed struggling not to throw up. Billy was closer to him, so he reached out and took hold of Elijah’s damp hand.

“Come on, Lij. We’re going home.”

Groaning and coughing, Elijah allowed Billy to pull him towards him. Dominic watched how Elijah was leaning heavily against Billy’s body and how Billy draped his arm around Elijah’s small and slender frame.

“You got him, Bills?” Dominic asked in an anxious tone, cursing himself once again. He should be the one to make sure Elijah was alright, but he could feel that he had trouble enough getting Orlando up on his feet. And then he’d have to walk himself on top of that. But he also knew he could rely on Billy. As always.

Billy tightened the hold of his arm around Elijah and smiled at Dominic. “Don’t worry. I’m taking good care of him for you.”

And with that they stood up. It took them a couple of minutes, but eventually they slowly but surely left the park into the direction of the hotel which was nearby fortunately. The Bicentennial Park stretched along the waterfront of the city. The hotel was located on the other side, at the end of the Esplanade which ran parallel to the park area. Billy wondered if they would be allowed to enter the building in their current state and luckily they were. Fumbling the key card out of his pocket, he opened the door to their room and switched the light on. He sighed with relief.

“We made it,” he giggled, letting Orlando fall down on one of the two large beds. Dominic was equally glad to be rid of the additional burden. However, the halfway normal walk and the fresh air seemed to have done him good. He was feeling a little clearer in the head. Elijah was already half asleep against Billy’s side. Billy let go of him as Dominic moved around and took him into his arms.

“Let’s get you to bed, baby,” he murmured and gently helped Elijah lie down on the mattress of the other bed.

“Mmm…Dommie…?” Elijah mumbled without opening his eyes. Dominic unbuttoned Elijah’s pants and then pulled his sweat-soaked shirt up over his head.

“Yes, Lijah?”

“Mmm…coming to bed…?”

Dominic smiled as he proceeded until Elijah was stripped down to his boxers. His clothes smelled of cigarettes and beer.

“Yeah, baby. Just a minute…”

Billy smiled at them and leaned down to free Orlando of his smelly clothes. He had passed out and was now breathing deeply in his sleep. Dominic briefly disappeared into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

“Jesus, this was one of our worst nights ever,” Billy chuckled when Dominic came back.

“Ugh, we’re so disgusting,” Dominic agreed jokingly. ”Except this boy here,” he leant down and placed a kiss on Elijah’s cheek.

“Well, at least he didn’t puke,” Billy looked from Elijah’s serene face to Orlando’s half naked body. He sighed. “I wish I could undress someone as well who means more to me than this Elf here.”

Dominic laughed and removed his shirt. “Oh dear. Now we’re at the point where the melancholy conversations begin.”

“Maybe I should become gay too,” Billy mused. “Or at least bi. Seems to be easier to find someone.”

“Oh Billy,” Dominic left his spot next to the bed and stumbled over to him. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll find someone if you’re not looking for it. It always happens when you least expect it. Look at Lij and me. Besides, we have each other. We’re mates for life. You don’t need a girl to be happy.”

“It’s easy for you to talk,” Billy giggled and unzipped his pants. “Of course I’m happy, but it would be nice to have someone I can take care of and spoil, like you do with Elijah.”

“Oh, he already complained that I spoil him way too much,” Dominic smiled, crossing his arms and looking at Elijah who was lying on the right side of their bed, his face turned to the side and one hand next to the pillow, sound asleep.

“I can imagine,” Billy reached for the bottle of water on the nightstand and took a sip. “You’re right. It happens when it happens. And I’m already lucky enough to have you.”

“Aww…,” Dominic beamed and pulled Billy into a tight embrace. “I love you, Billy. I really do. You’re the best mate ever.”

“Likewise,” Billy patted Dominic’s nude back and pulled away with a grin. “I’m knackered. Go to your lad.”

Without thinking much Dominic pressed his lips against Billy’s for a brief kiss. “Sweet dreams,” he chuckled at Billy who was slightly taken aback.

“You do want to make me gay, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Come to the bright side,” Dominic winked and turned around, lowering himself on the free side of the bed.

“Corrupting bugger,” Billy mumbled, not quite understanding why Dominic had to laugh at that. So he just went into the bathroom, silently pitying Orlando who would wake up with a foul taste in his mouth.

Dominic pulled the sheets up to cover only half of Elijah and himself as it was still quite warm. Opening the window was fruitless. He was glad that they were here in the upper region of Australia now where the winters were like summers, but it could be draining during the nights. He smiled when Elijah shifted and cozied up to him. Was he only half asleep or was it instinct? Dominic loved the idea of it being pure instinct. Wrapping his arm around him, Dominic pulled him even closer. In two days they would be in Thailand. First Bangkok, then the islands. He was looking forward to Thailand, almost more than he had been looking forward to Australia. He had read up on the country and was especially fascinated by its wildlife. And he would experience all of that, not just with Billy and Orlando, but with Elijah too. As he was lying in the semi-darkness of the room, the moon shining through the window, his fingers stroking Elijah’s soft shoulder, Dominic thought about how much they had traveled already. New Zealand, Australia, Thailand and Los Angeles soon. He loved traveling, seeing the world and new things every day, though he hadn’t had many opportunities yet. And the money hadn’t been as much as it should have been. But that would change soon. He envied his brother in this respect. A cosmopolitan through and through, never at one place and always on the road. It wouldn’t take long and Dominic could travel wherever he wanted with Elijah. He wondered where the press tour would lead them. All around the world, he hoped.

Slowly the alcohol took control again and Dominic felt dead tired. He was asleep before Billy returned from the bathroom.

 

~**~

 

The merciless sun shot her cruel rays through the window and Elijah cracked his eyes open for just a split second before squeezing them shut again. Why the hell had no one pulled the curtains closed? He couldn’t remember how he had gotten back to the hotel, so they had probably boozed their brains out. One risky glance at the clock on the bedside table told him that it was still early in the morning. He could never sleep late when he had been drunk. The alcohol wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t move. His whole body felt like a huge weight pushed him down. But that wasn’t the case. In fact he was lying on top of something. Or rather someone. He opened his eyes once more. A navel, dark hair leading down into the waistband of a pair of boxer shorts. The sheets had slipped completely off of them. Only now Elijah noticed how his head was gently moving up and down since it was resting on Dominic’s belly. He loved this position. Pressed against this beautiful body as he slowly came back into the world of the living. Still he wanted to move further up. Summoning all his regained energy which wasn’t much, Elijah raised his head and turned around. Billy and Orlando were still asleep, not making a single movement. Elijah turned away from them again and slid up Dominic’s body until his head was right next to his. His eyes were burning lightly since he hadn’t removed his contacts the night before. But he didn’t really care in this moment. His mouth tasted like a dried out tobacco store, but he didn’t care about that either. His fingers touched Dominic’s unshaved chin while his lips pressed against it for a soft kiss. He liked this three-day-stubble look, even though it could feel pretty rough during kissing. Dominic took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. His eyes were still closed, but his head moved a little to the side until his face came to rest beside Elijah’s. Elijah wanted to kiss those lips. Since Dominic was asleep he wouldn’t have to bear the yuckiness of Elijah’s mouth. He wondered if he had thrown up. He couldn’t make out any of that taste luckily. Suddenly Dominic’s breathing changed, indicating that he was about to wake up. And indeed, a few seconds later his eyes blinked open.

“Mmm…awake already?” he mumbled hoarsely, his lips forming a smile. Elijah’s fingers were still stroking his stubbly chin.

“Yeah…fucking beer…,” Elijah said, his voice scratchy and quiet.

Dominic stretched a little before pulling Elijah against his body. “You were pretty bloody wiped out,” he said and leaned in to give Elijah a kiss.

“Uh-uh,” Elijah pressed his forefinger against Dominic’s lips. “You don’t wanna do that. Unless you want to throw up whatever there's still left in your stomach.”

“I’d take you as you are, you know that,” Dominic grinned and turned around, grabbing the water bottle. He gave it to Elijah who sat up with an effort and took a few big gulps.

“Aaah...heaven…,” he sighed and handed the bottle back to Dominic.

“Aren’t we a bunch of loonies?” Dominic drank some and put it on the bedside table. “Like we have nothing better to do than hitting the pubs in Australia.”

“We’re on vacation, we’re allowed to be loonies,” Elijah stated, lying down again and cupping Dominic’s cheek. “And we were surfing, saw the Botanical Gardens, Sydney Tower, went swimming…”

“Mmm…right,” Dominic’s fingers played with a strand of Elijah’s hair. “We haven’t been that bad…”

All words subsided when their lips met in a slow and lazy, yet deep kiss. Elijah threw his leg over Dominic’s hips to be even closer to him, his fingers caressing Dominic’s cheek. His tongue explored the inside of his lover’s mouth as it had done so many times before, slipping and sliding against the other rough tongue in a stroking motion. Despite their heavy hangover it was a loving, consuming kiss that left them both rather breathless. Dominic moaned quietly into Elijah’s mouth, his hand gently moving through the soft dark hair. It could have gone on forever. The intimacy of the moment was indescribable.

“Oh fuck…get a room,” Orlando’s muffled voice interrupted them. Withdrawing from each other, Dominic and Elijah opened their eyes and grinned at one another. Dominic lifted his head and glanced over Elijah’s shoulder. Orlando was lying on his back motionlessly, just his arm was draped over his eyes in an attempt to shut out the cruel daylight.

“Looks like someone needs a proper breakfast,” Dominic kissed Elijah’s shoulder and put his head back on the pillow. “You too, baby.”

Elijah nodded and smiled. “Room service?”

“On its way,” Dominic rolled himself away from the warm body next to him and took the phone from the nightstand, dialing the room service number. He didn’t keep his voice particularly quiet as he spoke to the person on the other end, so Billy woke up with a grumble. While Dominic ordered breakfast, Elijah climbed out of the bed and staggered into the bathroom to take care of his eyes. Soon his contacts were replaced by his glasses. When he came back, Dominic had already opened the window, fresh but warm air flowing into the room.

“Rise and shine, friends of the sun,” Dominic ordered cheerfully. He was in a strikingly good mood this morning and hardly feeling like squashed shit anymore.

“You’re so cruel,” Elijah giggled, leaning back against the bathroom doorframe and folding his arms across his chest.

“I’m just helping them. Nothing gets a hung-over arse out of bed better than the sunshine and just look at this,” Dominic pointed out the window that showed a fantastic view of the coast right behind the park area.

“Get up and admire the beauty of this world.”

“Shut the fuck up, wanker,” came as a reply from Orlando’s corner. Dominic and Elijah laughed and Billy shot them a teasing glare.

“Really, have some mercy. He hasn’t even brushed his teeth yet.”

“Oh right,” Elijah disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a glass of water and Orlando’s toothbrush. “Here, you’ll feel better right away,” he said, kneeling down beside Orlando’s head and sticking the brush with paste on it between Orlando’s lips. Orlando cracked an eye open, then the other one.

“Thanks, little one,” he mumbled, reluctant to admit that the inside of his mouth tasted like crap indeed. “At least one of you has got a heart.”

“Hey, Billy and I dragged you home last night,” Dominic pointed out. “Without our compassionate hearts you’d still be lying in that park and people would laugh at you.”

“Okay okay, thanks hobbits,” Orlando sipped from the glass and started getting rid of the foul taste. Someone knocked on the door and Dominic went to open it. A bellboy rolled a trolley into the room.

“Thanks a lot, mate. Here, allow yourself something nice,” Dominic put a bunch of dollar bills into the hand of the beaming boy who bowed lightly and left again. Rubbing his hands together Dominic surveyed the food on the trolley and licked his lips as the scent of fried eggs, crispy bacon and barbecue sauce on rolls, heavily buttered toast and fresh fruit salad atop muesli filled the room.

“Australian breakfast, at your service,” he announced and began placing the various plates and bowls on the table next to the window.

“Mmm…,” Elijah snatched a strawberry from the salad and shoved it into his mouth before helping Dominic.

“What a service,” Billy swung his legs out of the bed and stood up. “No porridge?”

“For the last time, you’ll get your porridge again when we’re back in New Zealand,” Dominic grinned and offered him a bowl with fruit salad instead.

The ringing of a cell phone made Orlando grumble heavily. He had just managed to get himself into a sitting position, but the shrill sound of some unidentifiable indie song tune increased his headache.

“Bloody hell, it’s too early for this shite…”

Elijah licked his fingers clean as he had just swallowed another strawberry and moved over to his bag.

“If that’s Hannah again, I’m gonna kill her. She knows when we’re coming to LA,” he said, glancing at the display. It wasn’t Hannah. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he pressed the green button.

“Hi Pete,” he spoke into the phone with a surprised but happy voice. “What’s the matter? Yeah, we’re still in Australia. In Darwin,” he felt a little embarrassed since he knew the previous night was clearly audible in his voice.

Dominic, Billy and Orlando frowned, wondering why Peter called during their vacation. The last time they had seen him he had wished them a nice trip and said he hoped they would come back happy and healthy. Dominic finished setting the table, Billy sat down in one of the chairs and Orlando peeled himself out of the sheets. As Elijah listened to Peter’s voice, the smile on his face vanished. Dominic leaned against the window sill and watched him. An unpleasant feeling seized him all of a sudden and he had to force himself not to inquire what was going on right away.

“Oh shit…what?” Elijah covered his mouth with his hand, staring down at the blanket. “Yeah…okay…when? Oh f-…okay…no, I understand…”

Billy looked from Elijah to Dominic, a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Dominic was still standing there. Billy couldn’t read his face.

“Okay…yeah…see you then. Bye, Pete,” Elijah lowered his phone and stared at it for a few seconds. He looked crushed.

“What?” Orlando asked, though everyone knew what the call had been about. Elijah lifted his gaze and focused it on Orlando. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in Dominic’s face when he told them.

“I have to go back to New Zealand. Tomorrow. Peter is arranging a flight…”

“Why?” Dominic wanted to know, his tone harsh but a tinge of sadness in it. Elijah could tell he was struggling not to lose his composure.

“He said Sean and I have to film a couple of scenes again. He checked the footage and something went wrong with it. It was all messed up and blurry and he doesn’t know why. He’s still working on it. And we have to do this now or the whole schedule will get screwed up.”

Dominic flopped down in the chair opposite of Billy and emitted a long, deep sigh. “Bloody awesome…”

Finally Elijah looked at him and as he did so, he was drawn over to him and sat down in his lap.

“An entire week?” the harshness was gone and now there was nothing but disappointment in Dominic’s voice.

“I don’t know exactly. Pete said a few days. I don’t think going to Thailand will be in it,” Elijah wrapped his arms around Dominic’s neck. “Guess it’ll take me a little longer before I get to see it.”

“I was so looking forward to it,” Dominic mumbled miserably. He hugged Elijah to him and buried his face in Elijah’s shoulder. “This sucks.”

“Shit…,” Billy sighed, crossing his arms in frustration. “But you can’t let Pete down.”

“Of course not,” Elijah agreed, his hand stroking the back of Dominic’s neck. “It was cool enough that he gave us four weeks off. And we can still go to Thailand together sometime. It doesn’t run away. You guys have fun and tell me all about it.”

He tried to sound as cheerful and positive as possible. There was nothing he could do about it anyway. He would have loved to travel on with the boys, but he also had a job to do. Peter was still their boss and he determined when they would work and when they would have time off. Elijah was professional enough to know and accept that. And pouting wouldn’t help.

“Dom?” he urged gently and Dominic looked up with sad eyes. “Don’t forget, in a week we’re going to LA and you’ll meet my mom. And you’ll see Hannah again.”

“Yeah, if nothing comes between it, that is,” Dominic murmured gloomily.

“Sean can’t be very happy about this either,” Orlando said. “Getting ripped out of your holiday trip.”

“At least he’s still in New Zealand. He’s traveling around with Chris and Ali,” Elijah told him. “Well, we better make the best of the time we still have here.”

And so they did. Elijah wouldn’t allow any brooding and cursing. He was sure he would have reacted differently if his trip to Los Angeles with Dominic had been canceled though. Dominic was inconsolable and could not hide his frustration for the rest of the day. The next morning they all had to pack their bags which was a minor comfort. It would have been too hard if Elijah had been the only one. Dominic did not like this déja vu-feeling one bit. It was too much like back in December when he had had to say good-bye to Elijah who had stayed in Los Angeles while Dominic, Billy and Orlando flew to Great Britain. At least this time they would be separated for one week only, at the most. Dominic tried his best to hold on to that thought.

Elijah was the first to board his flight. Dominic could not even say good-bye to him properly. He could not hold his hand while they were waiting, he could not hug him long enough, let alone kiss him. So when Elijah’s flight was announced, they could only embrace each other tightly and whisper.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay baby?”

“Not if I call you first. Have fun. You won’t even have time to miss me, Dom.”

“That was a good one.”

“We’ll talk again about LA, okay? Maybe we can fly there together.”

“That would be great.”

That was it. Elijah pulled himself away from Dominic and hugged Billy and Orlando. Then he disappeared through the gate, but not without looking at Dominic one last time. He smiled and waved. Dominic smiled and waved back. And he didn’t hesitate to blow a kiss. Fuck everyone else.

Billy put his hand on Dominic’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You okay?”

Dominic continued staring at the gate. Bloody déja vu. “Ask me again when we’re in Thailand.”

And Billy did. He would not let his best friend fall into a black hole for the rest of their trip. He would pull him back, again and again, no matter how often he’d have to.

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

_July 13, 2000_

_Dear diary,_

_I know I’ve done nothing but mope in my last entry, but I promise I’ll make it up to you. Also, I should stop calling you diary. I don’t even write into you every day. And diary sounds so girly. I think I’ll call you journal. Anyway, six days in Thailand. It’s time to say cheerio for us tomorrow. If I wasn’t missing Elijah so much, I’d love to stay here. But what am I saying? We’re heading from one great country to the next. New Zealand, Australia and Thailand are bloody fantastic. I’m looking forward to going back to New Zealand. Going back…sounds like it’s home. But it really does feel like home. And when Lijah and I have bought our house there, it’ll be like our second home. Gah, I’m drifting away once again. I don’t know what exactly I was expecting before I came to Thailand. I had read about poverty and prostitution, but there’s this very different side that we saw. The Asians are said to be one of the friendliest people and it’s true. They’re rather laid back and relaxed about pretty much everything. Billy said they reminded him of the Scots a lot. It just shows what I’ve been thinking since I began traveling around. People are essentially the same wherever you go. The cultures may be different, but they’re just like everyone else. They all live their lives and enjoy themselves as well as they can._

_Bangkok is an absolutely amazing city. There are so many influences, arts, fashion, culture, entertainment, everything you can think of. It’s a vibrant multicultural mix actually. The food is smashing. I cooked Thai food myself from time to time, but of course it’s nothing compared to the original. Food seems to be a big part of the culture here. Pretty much everyone asked us if we had eaten yet. It’s like saying, how are you? There are food carts in practically every corner of the city, also noodle stands, curry shops and road-side barbecues. There were even people who sold fried insects! Why would anyone eat wonderful, little insects? Okay, cows and pigs are animals too and people eat them. But insects? And fry them? Alright, not for me, obviously. Orli tried one and said they were delicious. Bloody hell…besides from that, we checked out the Wat Phra Kaew, the most sacred Buddhist temple in Thailand which is right in the historic center of Bangkok, the Grand Palace that has been the residence of the kings since the 18th century, the temples Wat Pho and Wat Arun and the breathtaking Queen Sirkit Park, a botanical garden (btw yes, I had to look up the names and spellings of all the places again). I especially loved the temples, the atmosphere was indescribable. I seriously didn’t think it could get any better. But man, it was bloody hot. I knew Thailand has this warm, tropical climate, but it really hits you when you get here. Apparently right now we’re in the monsoon season which is quite rainy, but still hot and humid. But the rain is very welcome, if you ask me._

_We left after two days and traveled to the Khao Yai National Park which is about 200 kilometers away from Bangkok. I really really really wanted to see it, it was ace! There are plenty of national parks and wildlife sanctuaries in Thailand, this one was the oldest and second biggest of them. It has one of the largest monsoon woods in Asia and more than 70 mammal species such as tigers, elephants, gibbons, deer and wild pigs. It was a little cooler there because the park consists of several mountains, so we were in a higher altitude. Khao Yai means big mountains, so that makes sense. So, we were driving on the street into the park when a troop of monkeys came out along the road. Some had small babies clinging underneath onto their stomachs. We slowed down so we wouldn’t scare them. So bloody cute. We drove up into the mountains where the air got thinner. We camped at a cliff where several other people had already set up their campsites. It was so romantic in a way. Totally dark and it was quiet except for the monkey and gibbons. Another place where I have to go with Lijah again. I missed him so much, it would have been perfect if he had been there. The next morning we were awakened by the monkeys who had stolen food during the night. Can you believe it? Naughty buggers. I bet they live off the tourists and have become lazy. Thank God it was raining because we went to see the breathtaking waterfall near to the camping site. The rain made them look even more stunning. Swimming wasn’t allowed, but we did it anyway. Hey, just a brief plunge. My first personal highlight was a green bamboo pit viper that was sitting coiled up on a plant. Her venom is not very strong and usually not dangerous for humans, but if she bites you, you might get muscle cramps. She’s night active anyway, so she wasn’t interested in what was going on around her. She was so beautiful. The green was almost glowing, it was so intense. Then our drive back out of the park. We were driving and now no monkeys crossed the road, but a herd of elephants did! So bizarre, they were like oncoming traffic. We didn’t have much time, but we had to stop to wait until the road was clear again. Billy said it was like a Scottish traffic tailback. Only in Scotland they have sheep on the streets, not elephants. I have to go back there, absobloodylutely. I can’t believe there are people who enjoy going to zoos where you see animals who were ripped out of their natural environment. That’s just wrong and what for anyway? If you wanna see animals how they really are, how they really behave, visit a national park or a sanctuary. It’s such an eye-opening experience._

_Afterwards we were off to the island. Phuket first of course. It’s the largest island and connected to the mainland by a bridge. Like the lazy monkeys in the national park people there live off tourism. Well, they’re not lazy like the monkeys. It has some of the most beautiful beaches ever with the bluest water you’ve ever seen. I don’t have to tell you who this reminded me of. Speaking of beaches, we were thinking about checking out that one famous beach called Ko Phi Phi Leh with the Maya Bay where they filmed The Beach with Leo. They also shot some scenes in the national park. Haven’t seen that movie yet, but I’ve seen some photos and it really does look like paradise. But I also read that the crew changed some of the natural beach setting to make it look more paradise-like. Apparently they altered some sand dunes and cleared a couple of coconut trees and grass to widen the beach. I don’t even wanna know what that did to the ecosystem. We had some time pressure, plus that place is said to be swamped by tourists because of the film. So, we traveled to two other islands that were closer and just as beautiful. Ko Yao Yai and Ko Yao Noi. They’re two of the last untouched wilderness areas and absolutely, yeah, beautiful. I know I’m repeating myself, but there are just no words. What a gorgeous and fascinating country. I miss Lijah like hell which is the only reason why I wanna leave. But I’ll come back. We’ll come back. We just have to._

 

_~**~_

 

A mass of grey and white dots as far as the eye could see. Not quite as in the far distance dark hills were visible through a veil of smog. A line of white letters formed the most famous sign in the world. Hollywood. Dominic’s face was glued to the window as he stared at the city below. The plane was about to touch down in Los Angeles after what seemed to be an endless flight from Bangkok. The capital of the movie industry, the city of angels, full of striving unknown actors who all shared the same dream. But above all and most importantly, Elijah’s home. Tapping his fingers against the glass, Dominic watched the ground coming closer and closer. They had not flown together after all. Elijah had gone back to New Zealand for four days to shoot his scenes and afterwards considered joining Dominic, Billy and Orlando for the rest of their Thailand trip. Since the guys had been traveling around the islands, it would have become a little difficult for Elijah to catch up with them in such short span of time. So he had decided against it, also because he had had a lovely idea for their time in Los Angeles. He had asked his mother and she had been okay with it, so he had flown home and arranged everything. They wouldn’t have a full week in Los Angeles, just four days, but that was better than nothing.

Fifteen minutes later Dominic finally set foot on American soil. It was hot and, unlike Thailand, it didn’t look like any rain showers would cool him off anytime soon. As he entered the LAX building through the arrival gate Dominic felt his heart hammer in his chest. He had to wait for his luggage first and that didn’t take long. In order to avoid any potential attention from paparazzi who’d certainly want photos of Elijah “Frodo” Wood with his, at least to them, unknown companion at the exit, Dominic and Elijah had agreed to meet up in a more peaceful place at the parking lot. His shirt was sticking to Dominic’s sweaty body, there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, yet it didn’t matter. Pulling his trolley case behind himself, he made his way quickly over to the parking lot where he didn’t have to search long. He spotted Elijah right away. There he was standing, dressed in a pair of old, faded jeans, a plain white t-shirt and sunglasses on his nose, looking as beautiful and happy as ever. Dominic quickened his steps and then finally they reunited in a tight embrace.

“Welcome to LA,” Dominic heard Elijah’s voice in his ear and realized just how much he had missed the sound of it. The pure voice, not just over the phone.

“Thank you for having me,” Dominic smiled and pulled back to look into Elijah’s face. Elijah took off his sunglasses, revealing his eyes. Blue and sparkling like the coasts of Thailand. Dominic struggled against the urge to kiss him right here and now. Instead he picked up his case which he had dropped.

“Lead the way,” he said and followed Elijah to his black Mini Cooper. “Hey, I didn’t know you have such a cute car.”

“What, did you think I have some fancy mega van?” Elijah opened the trunk so Dominic could store his luggage inside.

“Yeah, something to show off. You’re a movie star after all,” Dominic teased and laughed when he received a light, playful punch.

“If you call me that one more time…,” Elijah threatened with a chuckle. The sound of it, along with his adorable tooth gap that flashed as he laughed, made Dominic feel at home right away. He sat down in the passenger seat while Elijah slipped into the driver seat. Elijah had not found a parking space in the shade, so the sun had turned the inside of the car into an oven.

“Sorry,” Elijah immediately rolled the windows down. “Hannah borrowed it one too many times and somehow managed to break the climate control. I didn’t have time to have it repaired yet.”

“Mmm…I have sudden sauna flashbacks, don’t you?” Dominic lifted his shirt a little and fanned his belly with it.

“I do,” Elijah glanced at Dominic’s glistening skin and then into his eyes. Taking a brief look around, he made sure that nobody was in sight. They were alone.

“I missed you, Dom,” he sighed and leaned a little closer. “I’m so glad you’re here. We won’t be apart again anytime soon, will we?”

“I missed you too, Lij. And no, we won’t. Not if I can prevent it,” Dominic closed the space between them and pressed his mouth against Elijah’s. At last. It had been too bloody long. They could taste the sweat on each other’s lips, but above all it was the soft sweetness they savored.

“We better get going or we’ll never cool off,” Elijah said quietly when the kiss ended. He would have loved to tangle his fingers in Dominic’s hair to keep him in place and deepen the kiss, but this was not the right place and they were being expected back home. Putting his sunglasses back on and starting the engine, he pulled out of the parking lot. It was a 20 minute drive from the airport to Santa Monica and the headwind was wonderfully pleasant.

Dominic looked into the side view mirror and ran a hand through his hair. He could see faint dark circles under his eyes and his cheeks were rosy and moist. He could also do with a shave.

“Bloody hell, I look like shite,” he grumbled, scratching his stubbly chin. “I can’t meet your mum like this.”

Elijah giggled and glanced at him from the side. “My mom knows that people don’t look like supermodels after a 20 hour flight. Besides, you look great. And don’t shave, I love your beardy look.”

Dominic turned his gaze away from the mirror and smiled at Elijah. “Aww, thanks, baby. It’s just not that comfy in summer.”

“But it looks so good,” Elijah insisted, keeping his eyes on the road now. He took the exit that merged into Santa Monica Freeway and followed it.

“You know I’ll have to shave again next week, yes?” Dominic placed his hand on Elijah’s thigh and rubbed it a little. “Too bad hobbits don’t have beards.”

“Yeah, fucking unfair. The Thailand photos you sent me were awesome, by the way. I’m so envious,” Elijah sighed as he thought of the stunning beaches and various unpronounceable places in Bangkok that he had found in his emails.

Giving Elijah’s leg a gentle squeeze, Dominic smiled remorsefully. “Really sucked that you had to leave. But no need to be envious. We’ll go there together when the movies are over.”

“We should make a list of all the places we couldn’t see together yet,” Elijah suggested with a chuckle. “Oh, did Pete call you already, because of next week?”

Dominic frowned, wondering if he had missed something. “No, what’s up?”

“An event that requires us to get dressed up. The Winter Festival Hollywood Ball in Queenstown. Red carpet, the media and everything.”

“A winter festival in July? Sounds all kinds of wrong.”

Elijah grinned and turned off into the road where his mother’s house was located. “In New Zealand it’s quite normal,” he said and slowed the car down, checked the rearview mirror and turned right into a driveway. They came to a halt in front of a house that was hidden from the road by some trees and bushes. Elijah turned off the engine and smiled at Dominic.

“Here we are. Welcome to Wood’s Palace.”

Dominic studied the house through the front window. A normal house, like any other house in this street. You couldn’t tell that a movie star was living here. Or an actor, as Elijah would correct him. Dominic had thought the same about Peter Jackson’s residence in Wellington when he had seen it for the first time. Normal, not fancy, anything but a huge villa. Elijah had told him that he lived in an average house, like an average person, yet Dominic hadn’t really been able to imagine what exactly it might look like. Now he had his answer.

“Lovely,” he remarked, smiling at Elijah. “Lovely and modest.”

“Well, it’s just a house,” Elijah giggled, somewhat amused by Dominic’s reaction. “Wanna come in? They’re already waiting.”

Dominic opened the passenger door and got out of the car. Taking a look around, he noticed that you couldn’t see the street from where they were standing. The driveway was pretty secluded which was probably a good thing.

“Do many people know that you live here?” he asked as Elijah opened the trunk and took Dominic’s suitcase out of it.

“Not many people really care,” Elijah shrugged. Dominic took the case from him. “I’m not Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.”

“Oh, but they will care next year,” Dominic winked. “It’s kind of cool that your house is not directly at the road.”

Closing the trunk and locking the car doors, Elijah nodded and took off his sunglasses to put them into his pocket. “Yeah, even if I wasn’t a public person, we would be living like this. It’s not nice having people look right into your window from the street.”

Dominic noticed how Elijah once again avoided words like famous, star and celebrity. It was so like him and it was one of the things Dominic admired so much about him. If you didn’t know any better, you might think that Elijah was just an ordinary guy, like every other guy on the streets of Los Angeles. He was an ordinary guy, but one who had an unusual occupation. Elijah had described himself like that once and Dominic thought it was the perfect description. If he was ever in danger of losing the ground beneath his feet, he just had to take a look at Elijah. They had already learnt a lot from each other and continued doing so every day.

“Ready?” Elijah held his hand out to Dominic with a smile. Dominic smiled back despite the lump he suddenly felt in his throat. He was nervous. It was a special moment and he hoped he would handle it well.

“Ready,” he grabbed Elijah’s hand and dragged his suitcase with his free hand as they approached the door. Elijah took his car key which had also the door key attached to its ring. Turning it around in the lock, he opened the door wide.

“We’re home!” Elijah shouted into the hallway and shut the door behind Dominic. A slender, dark-haired woman came out of another room and judging by the apron she was wearing and her hands that she was wiping on it, Dominic assumed that she had just been in the kitchen. As she approached him, he noticed that she was about the same height as Elijah was. Her face lit up when she saw him and he smiled back.

“Hello, Dominic! Nice to finally meet you,” she said, offering her hand for him to shake.

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Wood,” Dominic replied cheerfully and shook her hand. Her figure might have been slim, but her handshake was all the firmer and stronger.

“Please, call me Debbie. You must be starving. Elijah said you came all the way from Thailand. We’re eating in a minute.”

“Yes, and I bet you can see every kilometer of it in my face,” Dominic chuckled, rubbing his damp cheek. “It was totally worth it though. But you must be wondering what sort of freak your son has fallen for.”

“Dom was afraid you might be appalled by his bushed look,” Elijah told his mother with a grin who just made a gesture that said she didn’t care.

“Don’t worry, you don’t want to know how I look after so many hours on the plane,” she smiled and pointed at another door. “You can go and refresh yourself first, if you like.”

“Thanks very much,” Dominic watched Debbie disappear back into the kitchen and stored his suitcase in a corner. He was about to head for the bathroom when a shrill voice made him wince.

“Dom!”

He turned around again and couldn’t help but grin broadly as Hannah jumped down the stairs, taking two steps at a time at an impressive speed without stumbling. Her blonde hair was flying behind her and her skirt was fluttering around her legs.

“Hannah, my love!” Dominic pulled her into a tight hug, almost getting knocked down when she threw herself against him. She giggled and wrapped her delicate arms around his neck as she hugged him back.

“So fucking cool that you’re finally here,” she beamed, pulling back to look at him. “You were in Thailand, I heard? How was it? Did you see that place where they filmed The Beach? Are the beaches really that beautiful there?”

“Fuck Hannah, let him breathe,” Elijah laughed. “He hasn’t even settled in yet.”

“Ah, I wish she was my little sister for real,” Dominic winked at Elijah and let go of Hannah. She folded her arms and faked a hurt pout.

“What? I’m just curious. Oh well, you can tell us everything at dinner,” she paused for a moment, her facial expression turning a little more serious. Yet there was still a light, soft smile on her lips. Placing a hand on Dominic’s shoulder, she looked at him with a mixture of pride and contentment.

“Thank you for calling me and letting me know that you guys came to your senses. I knew it was the right thing to do. It was the right thing…right?”

Dominic and Elijah smiled at each other, thinking about the past weeks and how their lives had changed after they had come out to their cast mates and friends. It was hard to remember how they had managed to handle the situation when their relationship had still been a secret.

“Right,” Elijah took Dominic’s hand in his and their fingers intertwined. Then he looked at Hannah with a not quite seriously grave face. “If I had known that it was you who had talked him into persuading me…well, I should have known…”

“I think I would have asked you sooner or later,” Dominic said, squeezing Elijah’s hand. “Hannah just gave me a kick in the arse to make me talk to you sooner.”

“I’ll kick your ass whenever you need me to,” Hannah smiled and rubbed her belly. “Mmm, see you at the table, guys.”

And with that she turned on her heel and went into the kitchen. Elijah moved to stand in front of Dominic and smiled up at him.

“And? Like it here so far?” he asked. He released Dominic’s hand and put his hands on either side of Dominic’s hips, his fingers stroking up and down slowly.

“Mmm…feels like home,” Dominic reached up and cupped Elijah’s warm cheeks. “Mostly because you’re here…,” he murmured and claimed Elijah’s lips for a brief, but loving kiss. Then he reluctantly pulled himself away from the still smiling man in front of him and quickly disappeared into the bathroom. When he returned, he knelt down before his suitcase and opened it. He pulled out a long box and opened it.

“What’s that?” Elijah asked curiously and grinned as Dominic held the bottle in his hand.

“From Thailand,” Dominic stood up again and showed him the bottle of red wine. “I know Thailand is not exactly famous for its wines, but there are some pretty good flavors actually.”

“Cool idea,” Elijah touched the bottle to read the label. “Just needs to be put into the fridge, urgently,” he giggled. Dominic and Elijah joined Debbie and Hannah in the dining room which was attached to the kitchen.

“Elijah said you like seafood, Dominic,” Debbie said as they entered the room and she was just placing another bowl on the table. Hannah was laying the cutlery in a very rather neat manner.

Dominic surveyed the various plates, dishes and plates and realized all of a sudden just how hungry he was.

“I like anything that comes from the sea actually. Sushi, above all. I could kill for it,” he chuckled and sat down on the chair next to Elijah’s. Hannah flopped down across from him and propped her elbows on the table, smiling at him.

“I brought a little present from Thailand,” Dominic put the wine bottle in between the plates and pots. “It’s just a bit warm.”

“Thank you, we can put it into the fridge and try it later,” Debbie suggested and sat down beside her daughter. Then she opened a colder bottle of red wine and poured it into the four glasses. “Well then, tuck in, there’s enough to last us for a week.”

“Certainly looks like it,” Dominic grabbed his fork with a grin.

“So, is this your first time in LA?” Elijah’s mother wanted to know after Dominic had complimented her on her cooking skills.

“The second time. The first time I was here, I saw the insides of the airport. I think that counts,” Dominic joked, raising his glass and taking a sip of the wine. “I didn’t fly to LA to meet Peter Jackson, I flew directly to New Zealand after I got the role.”

Hannah looked at him proudly from the other side of the table. “You guys must have really impressed him. Elijah was signed right away after he sent in his tape.”

“Oh well, a normal audition would have been boring,” Elijah shrugged with his mouth full.

“And is America a bit of a culture shock for you, Dominic?” Debbie asked with a lightly teasing smile. “You know, Americans have this cliché in their heads, that the English are all well mannered and drink tea every afternoon and are very decent and the Europeans thinks we Americans are all superficial, fat and rude.”

Dominic laughed and shook his head. “No no no, believe me, I never thought so and I don’t really know any Brits who do. It’s really just a stupid cliché. I don’t believe in these stereotypes. I think they really keep us from getting to know one another. Seriously, Elijah is better mannered than I could ever dream of being,” he grinned at Elijah who grinned back at him.

“It’s the accent, I’m telling you,” Hannah said in a convinced tone. “The Brits pronounce everything so clearly and beautifully whereas the Americans all slur.”

“Anyway, I’ll be your personal tour guide and show you how beautiful LA actually is,” Elijah smiled at Dominic, his fingers playing with his wine glass. “The Hollywood Hills, the sign, the Santa Monica Pier, Venice Beach, Chinese Theatre, the Walk of Fame…”

“The smog,” Hannah snorted, forking some prawns into her mouth.

“Already saw that from the plane,” Dominic glanced at her before turning back to Elijah. “Sounds ace.”

“You’re gonna love it,” Debbie told him. “It was weird coming here from Iowa for the first time, but there are some beautiful places where you can go if you want to avoid certain places and people. So, Lord of the Rings isn’t your first movie, is it?”

Dominic had to grin at that. Considering what he had done before Lord of the Rings, he wasn’t very proud of his previous work. “Well, it’s the first movie I’m doing that’s coming to theatres. I’ve only done TV work so far, more or less worth talking about. I studied English literature, drama and geography at a local college in Manchester where I come from and played lots of theatre, that’s how I was discovered and offered a role in a British detective drama-comedy series when I was 19…”

“An awesome series,” Elijah interrupted him, grinning and chewing.

“Awesomely trashy,” Dominic corrected him humorously. “But well, it was my first big acting gig and it was really fun. I bet it’ll be a cult classic one day,” he joked and swallowed some more wine.

“Anyway, I did two TV films and also played theatre in London where casting agents for Lord of the Rings saw me. I auditioned and was in the middle of filming a TV series in France when I got the call from my agent who told me that Pete wanted me. Not for Frodo as Elijah stole that role away from me,” he chuckled and glanced at Elijah who looked at him overly apologetically.

“Theatre really seems to be a pretty good place to be discovered,” Debbie remarked. “And it’s the most difficult sort of acting, isn’t it?”

“Absolutely,” Dominic nodded. “It’s live, you can’t say cut and repeat the scene, you have to speak louder, you have to do intense gestures…you really notice that Ian McKellen is a stage actor, he’s amazing.”

“Your parents have anything to do with the acting business?”

“No, not at all. My mother is a nurse and my father is a science teacher. I’ve got a brother who’s a year older than me and he’s a teacher as well. I was born in Germany because my dad was teaching for the British armed forces there at the time. We lived in Germany until I was 11 and then we moved back to Manchester. Well, Stockport which is close…”

“Really?” Debbie’s eyes lit up. “I’ve got German ancestors, my family is from there.”

“They are?” Dominic smiled. “That’s cool.”

“Yeah, actually Elijah, Hannah and Zach have got German, English, Polish and Irish roots. Well, many Americans have European roots, it’s nothing special.”

“I’ve got Irish ancestors as well. Hey maybe we’re related, Lij?” he laughed.

Elijah stared at him with wide eyes. “Wow, I hope not. That would really suck,” he giggled. “The world is small.”

“You still speak German?” Hannah asked, laughing as Dominic visibly cringed.

“Not that well anymore. It’s really sad how much you forget once you don’t live there anymore. I understand it pretty well, but speaking is not that easy. It’s a hardcore language.”

“Say something!” Hannah urged him excitedly. “German with a British accent, I have to hear that.”

Elijah took a sip from his wine glass and looked at Dominic with amusement. “And not what you said to me once. That’s too easy.”

He had asked Dominic to say something in German before and the words had been easy, but their meaning had sent touched shivers down Elijah’s spine. Hearing those famous three words in a different language had been more moving than he had thought.

“Oh my God…okay…,” Dominic leaned back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair with a grin, searching for the right words in his head.

“Don’t worry, Dominic. I’m pretty much the only one here who might notice any mistakes, but it’s been way too long since I had anything to do with this language,” Debbie laughed and grabbed the bottle to refill Dominic’s almost empty glass.

“Alright…uhm…,” Dominic pulled at a few strands of his hair and closed his eyes for a moment. He knew what he wanted to say and he hoped that he remembered the right words and didn’t say anything embarrassing. Opening his eyes again, he looked into expectant faces. “Ich bin …sehr…froh…hier…zu sein…it means, I’m very happy to be here.”

“Awesome,” Hannah cheered. “Sounds really difficult, but cool.”

“And really smart,” Elijah patted Dominic’s back gently and picked up his fork again. “I’m feeling so uneducated suddenly.”

“I’m glad I remembered _something_ ,” Dominic sighed with relief. “Good to know that not everything is lost. This food is delicious by the way, Miss Wood. I mean, Debbie. But if you want, you can take a break from the kitchen tomorrow and I’ll cook something.”

“Oh, Dom is the best cook in the world!” Elijah exclaimed and quickly added, “the best male cook, of course, mom.”

Hannah raised an eyebrow and looked from Dominic to Elijah. “A guy who likes cooking? Wow, you really hit the jackpot, Lij.”

“I love it,” Dominic smiled. “I worked as a chef once before I started acting professionally and really learnt a lot.”

“Hmmm, a classic British meal would be nice indeed. Gladly, Dominic,” Debbie said as they proceeded eating and talking. She thought Hannah wasn’t that wrong with her jackpot remark. Elijah had told her what kind of person Dominic was, back when he had come out to her despite his huge nervousness and fear. According to Elijah, Dominic was the most caring, lovely, entertaining and capturing guy he had ever met. Debbie had wondered what getting to know him personally would be like. Hannah had also told her a lot when she had come back from New Zealand. Her daughter had been incredibly excited and enthusiastic about this Brit and Debbie knew if Hannah was like this about a guy, then he must truly be someone special. Because Hannah had never been like that about a guy before. Debbie had deeply regretted that she hadn’t been able to fly to New Zealand together with Hannah. Letting her 16-year-old daughter go alone had been anything but easy, but Hannah had her own head and she had insisted on flying. Elijah and his sister were very close, so Debbie was aware that Hannah’s opinion was something he had been dying to hear. And now here they were, finally sitting all together and talking like they had known each other for years. That was a feeling Debbie had gotten right away when she had seen Dominic for the first time and shaken his hand in the hallway.

Elijah smiled at his mother from across the table, somehow knowing what she was thinking. This was a situation he had often tried to imagine, but it had been difficult. If someone had told him a couple of years ago that he would introduce a boyfriend to his mother one day, he would have freaked out and called that person fucking nuts. But now it seemed like the most normal thing in the world. And Dominic had a lot to do with that. As usual when he was getting to know someone, his unique aura and charms managed to capture everyone around him and pull them towards him. What was most remarkable was that he made his relationship with Elijah appear like it was the most normal thing in the world. It almost didn’t matter that they were together. It was nothing special. It was a simple fact and that was it. In situations like these they were just like any other ordinary couple and Elijah would enjoy their time here for as long as it lasted.

He smiled at Dominic who was just telling a funny anecdote from his acting time in England. Hannah’s words came to his mind again and his smile grew even larger. The biggest jackpot he could have hit.

 

 

 


	40. Chapter 40

“I have something for you. For us…”

Dominic put the dirty plates on the kitchen counter and turned around at the voice with a smile. Elijah walked up to him with a now empty bowl in his hands which he set down next to the sink.

“Hmm…what might that be?” Dominic raised an eyebrow, leaning against the counter.

“Not what you’re thinking,” Elijah chuckled. “Much better. You know right now I live upstairs in this house, but I once had a house all to myself. My mom has a guest house in the backyard and I moved there when I was sixteen…”

“Really? Cool, your own place at sixteen,” Dominic grinned and crossed his arms. “Did you celebrate wild Hollywood parties over there?”

“Eh, not really. The thing was, living there alone was not as cool as I thought it would be. Though my mother and Hannah lived practically next door. I don’t know, it was weird. Anyway, I asked mom if I could stay there with you for as long as we’re here and she said yes.”

Dominic’s face lit up and broke into a beaming smile. “Hey, that’s great! A place of our own in Te Anau and here. And we won’t have to annoy your mum with our mess.”

Elijah nudged his shoulder teasingly and gasped. “Excuse me, sir! I’m not the one who tosses his shirts anywhere he pleases.”

“Oh no, you’re not,” Dominic unfolded his arms and let his forefinger slide down Elijah’s chest until it reached the hem of the t-shirt. “I do that for you,” he said quietly and laughed as Elijah pulled back with a sudden blush.

“You just turn anything dirty, huh?” Elijah put his hands on his hips, throwing Dominic a mocking glare.

“Ah, don’t worry, Lij. It’s an awesome idea. Even if it’s just for a few days, but we won’t have to burden your mum with anything.”

“Right,” Elijah reached up and placed his hands on either side of Dominic’s face, his thumbs touching the stubble on his chin. “Let’s go check it out,” he said before leaning in and giving Dominic a brief kiss. His mother and sister were still next door and Elijah wasn’t sure if he would be comfortable with them witnessing this. He had spent the entire previous day cleaning up the guest house, filling the fridge and, last but not least, arranging the double bed in the master bedroom. He had rejected any help, he had wanted to do it all himself. It was much more romantic this way. Hannah had been rather amused by his behavior, but he knew she understood him. She understood him like no one else did, except Dominic of course. He was the first person outside of his family whom he felt a real, honest connection with. It was on a completely different level. Elijah loved him more than he had ever thought he could love someone. But that didn’t even come close to what he was feeling for him. He couldn’t describe it and he didn’t have to. It was there and that was all that mattered. He was blessed with someone who was like the other half of him that he hadn’t even been aware was missing. It couldn’t be comprehended. It could only be relished.

The guest house was a brick building with two bedrooms, a living-room, kitchen, bathroom and a porch. It was relatively small from the outside, but once Dominic stepped through the front door, he was amazed by how spacious it appeared. He was standing right in the middle of the living-room which was brightly illuminated due to the large windows. It was furnished with a plaid couch and two matching armchairs, a wooden table, a television and a stereo system with large loudspeaker boxes, undoubtedly organized by Elijah. The floor was covered with a fair carpet.

“Wow…,” Dominic dropped his suitcase next to the table as he surveyed the room. “You lived here and moved out again? Voluntarily?”

Elijah shut the door and opened one of the windows, letting some warm, fresh air in. “It’s a great place, but now it’s even greater. Must be the company,” he said and turned around again, facing Dominic with the most beautiful smile.

Cocking his head a little, Dominic gazed at him standing there by the window, in the bright sunshine, the radiant face, the mesmerizing smile. Elijah looked like an angel coming out of a ray of glowing light. It was no silly, biased thought. At times Dominic felt like he was blinded by this beauty. With slow steps he made his way over to Elijah, gathering him in his arms and pulling him against his chest before his overwhelming feelings would knock him motionless. Elijah encircled Dominic’s neck with his arms and pressed himself up against his strong but soft body. It was their first moment all alone since Sydney. Way too fucking long. Inhaling the sweaty scent of Dominic’s neck and then looking up into his dark-rimmed eyes, Elijah knew just how jet-lagged and exhausted Dominic must be. He reached up and placed his forefinger on the skin right underneath Dominic’s left eye.

“You must be fucking tired,” he said softly, receiving an equally soft smile back. “You should sleep off your jet-lag and I’ll show you the city tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I forgot about how knackered I was when I set foot into that home of yours. And the food…mmm…the cooking skills must run in the family,” Dominic played with a strand of dark hair behind Elijah’s ear and pressed a kiss against his lips. Elijah leaned more against him, like he was the only thing that kept him standing, and left his lips on Dominic’s for a little longer.

“I’m shit compared to you and you know it,” he murmured into that enticing mouth. Too bad Dominic was utterly worn out. He had missed him, all of him. But he was here now and his presence was all Elijah wished for. And finally falling asleep beside him again, with no one else in the room but them, almost sounded too good to be true. Their lips moved slowly against each other, keeping the kiss lazy but still consuming. Elijah felt himself melt gradually in Dominic’s arms, savoring every single second of this moment. Eventually he withdrew from Dominic’s mouth, but kept hanging on to him. The sound of the singing birds through the open window added to the wonderful serenity.

“I love you,” Elijah said dreamily, threading his fingers through the hair at the back of Dominic’s head.

Dominic smiled, his wave of fatigue momentarily forgotten. “Love you too, baby.”

“I’m so happy you’re here. Makes it sort of…official,” Elijah chuckled, kissing Dominic again.

“Right, who cares about the bloody media?” Dominic joked.

“I knew today would be awesome. Since Hannah was all over you from the start, then mom would be fond of you, too. Being a Brit is a huge plus, of course.”

“And your brother? Is he into Brits as well?”

“I hope you’ll find out soon. Pity he lives in Texas,” Elijah sighed and took a look around the living-room. He smiled nostalgically as he remembered how he had first moved in here.

“Man, this is so surreal,” he mumbled, more to himself. Shaking his head, he emitted a quiet sniggering sound. “Three years ago…if someone had told me then that I would live here with a guy one day, I would have probably laughed my ass off.”

“Sixteen. That was your girlfriend age, wasn’t it?” Dominic asked. What a completely different person Elijah must have been back then. Dominic still got to know that person. It was the Elijah he had met when he had come to New Zealand for the first time. The one who hadn’t known who he was yet. Or who had guessed who he was, but had been struggling to deny it. The one who was history now.

“Yeah,” Elijah said after some hesitating. He didn’t like talking about that time anymore. It made him feel embarrassed and ashamed. “I never brought her home though. I never brought a girl home. Mom must have known I was gay long before I did,” he chuckled humorlessly.

“Lijah…,” Dominic’s gentle voice filled his ears and it felt like soft and much needed stroking of his soul. A slender finger touched Elijah’s cheek. His eyes had still been studying the furniture, but now Elijah focused them back at Dominic.

“Don’t think about it anymore, baby. You don’t have to feel bad about how you were at sixteen. You didn’t know any better. You did what every gay boy who’s not sure about his sexuality yet does at that age. You tried to date girls because you thought that’s what you were supposed to do, but it didn’t work. But it was a very important step for you, you know. Don’t think you’re the first gay bloke with that history. I even know a couple of gays who actually slept with girls because they wanted to know what it’s like and if they’re really gay. You had to find your way to who you really are and you did. And for some reason that I will probably never understand fate brought you to me, a little unworthy Brit. See, one thing leads to another.”

The regret and melancholy left Elijah’s face and got replaced by a light but very touched smile. Why was it that Dominic always found exactly the right words? He would never let Elijah fall into some dark hole if he could prevent it.

“You know you’re not unworthy, Dom. But thank you anyway, you always manage to make me see the good side of the worst shit.”

“Well, it’s the truth,” Dominic pressed a kiss on Elijah’s forehead and stifled a yawn. Elijah in his arms or not, his jet-lag was starting to get the better of him once again. He was damn tired and last but not least urgently needed to clean himself up.

“I’ll quickly hop into the shower and then I seriously need some sleep. How can you even touch me, I smell like a bloody Scot.”

“Good for you that Billy didn’t hear that,” Elijah laughed and Dominic grinned innocently.

“He knows I’m just taking the piss. It’s the British humor, Lij. You’ll learn someday.”

“I doubt it, but thanks for your confidence.”

 

~**~

 

The music was blaring from the radio and the headwind through the windows tousled his hair. This was what Dominic had often dreamt about when he had been younger. What it would be like driving through Los Angeles, the sun shining, beautiful men and women in shorts and bikinis, spotting Hollywood stars here and there. Now he knew. It was completely amazing. Leaning back in the passenger seat, he shoved his sunglasses up his nose and turned his head, smiling happily at Elijah.

“This is absolutely bloody fucking awesome! I feel like a mega cool Californian surfer boy!”

Elijah glanced at him through his own shades with a grin and turned the volume of the music down. “You sure look like one. You just need a little more color.”

“I still don’t get how you can be so pale when you live here. You don’t get a tan, not even a little bit, do you?”

“Oh, I’m rather glad about that. Don’t think it would suit me. And isn’t it, what the noble Brits used to call, elegant paleness?”

“Not just the noble Brits, also the noble Americans. To distinguish themselves even more from the working class.”

“You do know the most interesting stuff,” Elijah remarked amused. “But I can tell you some interesting stuff as well. We’re now on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood and on the left there are the Hollywood Hills with Laurel Canyon Park and Mulholland Drive. We can take that route on our way back home. The first thing you have to see is the Chinese Theatre. It’s right at the Walk of Fame. Which is the second thing you have to see.”

“Isn’t that also where all those costumed Elvis and Marilyn look-alikes hang out and get photographed with the tourists?”

“Yeah,” Elijah chuckled. “You bump into all kinds of special individuals there. At the Chinese Theatre there’s a forecourt with signatures, hand and footprints of famous people. Including Darth Vader and R2-D2.”

“Really? I have to see that!” Dominic exclaimed excitedly. “And the Beatles star of course.”

“That goes without saying,” Elijah smiled. This was really fun. He had never played tour guide for someone before and he loved Dominic’s excitement. Elijah was used to Los Angeles, it was pretty much his everyday life, but Dominic was here for the first time and he wasn’t only an actor but also a geeky fanboy, just like Elijah. They could both get thrilled about the simplest things.

Elijah turned off twice and then stayed on another road. “Okay, here we are. This is Hollywood Boulevard. Now you’re really in the heart of Hollywood.”

Dominic had to struggle not to lean himself too far out of the open window as his wide eyes roamed the side of the street. He could already make out a line of stars on the ground on the sidewalk.

“Fuck, how awesome is this. Stop the car, Lij!”

Elijah giggled. “Sure sure, we’re almost there. The parking lot is right around the corner. Look to the left. You can already see the Chinese Theatre.”

Ripping his eyes away from the sidewalk, Dominic turned his head and looked out the window on Elijah’s side. They were just passing the building and he gasped.

“Those are some fancy theatres you have here. Do you think you’ll get swarmed by excited fangirls when we get out?”

“Nah,” Elijah shook his head and turned off one last time until they reached the parking lot of the Hollywood and Highland Center. “People here are used to seeing actors on the street. They don’t freak out every time they recognize someone. Unless they’re tourists of course.”

“I’m a tourist. I can’t guarantee that I won’t freak out if I see Brad Pitt,” Dominic smirked and opened the door once Elijah had parked the car and paid the parking fee.

“In this area here there are hardly any celebs. It’s a main tourist hot spot,” Elijah explained as they walked side by side back to Hollywood Boulevard.

Dominic pulled his camera out of his pocket and switched it on. “I’m at the sodding Hollywood Walk of Fame,” he muttered and took a photo of the sidewalk. “Matt is gonna be so fucking envious. He’s the one who always got around more than I did, but he’s never been here.”

“Next time we’re in LA, you can invite him and show him the city yourself,” Elijah suggested with a smile and they continued their way down the boulevard. The place was always rather crowded, but nobody paid attention to them.

“How long is the Walk of Fame? And how many stars are there?” Dominic wanted to know, his eyes on the ground and reading the golden names on the reddish pink stars, some of them more familiar than others.

“Three and a half miles, and there are about 2,500 stars. It’s not just along Hollywood Boulevard. There’s also a line of stars running from south to north on Vine Street which is a little further down this boulevard.”

Dominic nodded, taking a few more photos. “And who decides who gets a star and who doesn’t get one? Do you just have to be hot and famous?”

“That certainly helps,” Elijah giggled. “Basically it works like this: there’s a special committee that selects a group of potential entertainers to receive a star each year. If you wanna get a star, you have to attend a presentation ceremony within five years of selection and you have to pay a fee which can be 15,000 dollars up to 25,000 dollars…”

“You have to pay for your star?” Dominic asked with an astonished voice. “Wow, didn’t know that.”

“It’s Hollywood, it’s all about money,” Elijah told him with a dry chuckle. “Well, to be fair, a part of the money is set aside for maintenance and repair and the rest goes to installation, security, staging costs and stuff. But this fee is often paid by sponsors like film studios or record companies, you know, for publicity and promotion purposes.”

“A smart business,” Dominic remarked not without appreciation. “Money driven, but still smart. Would you want a star?”

“Oh no,” Elijah waved him off. “Too much fuss,” he grinned.

“Maybe New Line would pay for your star, in order to promote Lord of the Rings,” Dominic said and judging by his tone, Elijah could not tell whether he was joking or not.

“But then they’d have to pay for many more stars since we all would deserve it,” Elijah said. “And I highly doubt that New Line needs a Walk of Fame star for their promotion anyway.”

“True,” Dominic smiled and almost would have lifted his arm to wrap it around Elijah’s shoulders as they walked, but remembered in the very last moment. They passed Superman who was posing for photos with enthusiastic tourists and then stopped.

“And here we have Grauman’s Chinese Theatre,” Elijah pointed at the ornamental building on their right. “It’s even more beautiful at night when it’s illuminated. Darth Vader is over there.”

“Awesome,” Dominic muttered awe-struck and snapped the theatre with his camera before fixing his eyes on the concrete and studying the various hand and footprints. “These are much better than boring stars, huh?”

“Don’t say that too loud, you might piss off some people,” Elijah laughed and leaned in a little closer, so he could lower his voice a little. “I think your hand-prints would be the most beautiful ones. Your hands are gorgeous.”

“Mmm…thanks baby,” Dominic mumbled back. “Who knows, one day? Hey…”

Finally he spotted the Star Wars block and laughed as he examined the footprints. Darth Vader’s were on the right and they actually looked rather normal. So did his signature. In the middle C3PO had left his permanent shoe prints which Dominic would not have identified with the feet of a robot right away. Above the prints Anthony Daniels, who had played him, had written his name into the concrete. R2-D2’s prints were unmistakable. Three rectangles, each one with two little circles in them. The date was scribbled above the Star Wars title. August 3, 1977.

“This is so cute! But did you notice that Darth Vader’s shoes were so boring?”

“I didn’t quite pay attention to his shoes, to be honest,” Elijah chuckled and held out his hand. “Let me take a photo.”

Dominic gave him the camera and stepped into the footprints of Darth Vader. Closing his eyes, he fell silent for a moment, like he was meditating. When he spoke again, his voice was low and in full Vader-mode. “I sense something. A presence I've not felt since...”

Elijah took a couple of photos, absolutely loving the image. “Now you can die happy, huh?”

Dominic looked at him and to Elijah it almost seemed as if he was in some kind of trance. “Strange,” he said quietly and then a little louder in his normal voice, “something definitely flows through you when you stand here. Some spiritual power or something.”

Lowering the camera, Elijah looked back at him in fascination. “You certainly look like it. You’re standing right where a legend once stood, Dom.”

After a few more moments of soaking up the feeling, Dominic stepped away again and ran a hand through his hair. Then he beamed. “I fucking love LA. Magical,” he said and took another look at the other prints and signatures around them. “Who’s Sid? There are a lot of dedications to him.”

“Sid Grauman. He created the theatre back in the 20s,” Elijah explained and together they slowly walked back to the sidewalk. “He once said the idea with the foot and hand-prints came to him when he accidentally walked into the wet concrete. But there are quite a few stories about how it all started though.”

Dominic grinned and lifted his sunglasses of his eyes to wipe at his sweaty brows. “You’re a fantastic tour guide, Lij. If you’re ever sick of acting, you know what profession to take up.”

Elijah fumbled with the camera in his hands and smiled. “Not my dream job, but it’s fun. Hey, if we ever go to England together, I expect you to show me everything!”

“Oh, of course we’ll go there together. I have a family to introduce you to after all!”

“Don’t make me all nervous yet,” Elijah cringed jokingly. “You still have to check out your Beatles star! It’s not that far.”

They strolled a little further down the road. On the other side of the street Dominic spotted a guy in an Elvis Presley costume who was performing quite impressive dance moves in front of a small crowd of spectators. He smiled. He really loved this city already.

“Finally!” Dominic crouched down and gingerly touched the golden letters that formed the name of his favorite band. Below the name there was the small, round emblem of a phonograph record. “I’m so proud of you, mates,” Dominic spoke to the star in an adoring tone.

Elijah watched him with an amused smile. “They definitely deserved it. Come on, strike a pose, I’ll take a photo.”

Dominic moved to the top of the star and knelt down, looking up and extending his forefingers and little fingers into a “rock on”-sign.

“That’s it!” Elijah snapped a couple of photos with Dominic striking various poses and grinning like it was his very own star.

“My life is complete,” Dominic said as he got up from the pavement again and took the camera to look at the pictures on the display. “One day, Lijah. One day your name will be on one of these.”

“Ha, dream on,” Elijah snickered, like it was the most absurd idea ever. “Pete deserves one. It’s only a matter of time.”

“Hmm-hm,” Dominic switched the camera off and looked at Elijah with a warm, tender expression. “Thank you so much for showing me around, Lij. Really, being here would mean nothing without you. I mean it. You make everything so much more beautiful.”

Elijah stared at him for a moment, not able to say anything. If they hadn’t been on the most famous sidewalk in the world but all alone, he would have hugged and kissed Dominic right on the spot instead of struggling to find words that would express what he was feeling. Swallowing hard, he formed a touched smile.

“There’s no need to thank me, Dom. I should thank you. It’s so much fun with you excited little fanboy.”

Dominic laughed. He would have loved to lift Elijah off his feet and swirl him around happily, but thought better of it. “We can get exited about a lot of things, I really love that. I doubt we’ll ever get bored.”

“We? Get bored? Ridiculous,” Elijah gasped exaggeratedly and began leading Dominic back down the sidewalk into the direction of the car. “Remember what Viggo said once. There are excuses to be sad, angry or crazy, but there’s no excuse to be bored.”

“That man is pure ace. He’s a walking philosophy book. A walking everything book,” Dominic chuckled and walked as close to Elijah as possible without touching him.

As Elijah had suggested, they took the route through the Hollywood Hills on Mulholland Drive and Laurel Canyon Boulevard, but of course not without a detour to the infamous Hollywood sign. Elijah thought Dominic looked incredibly great with that sign in the background, like he belonged here and nowhere else. Dominic asked a passing by local to take a photo of him and Elijah together and this time he didn’t hesitate to put his arm around Elijah.

It was a typically hot summer day in Los Angeles, so the headwind that blew through the open car windows was a wonderful relief. Venice Beach was the last stop this day since the warmth was more pleasant on the coast and it was a must see spot, according to Elijah. The district Venice was known for its canals, beaches and the promenade that was rather circus-like. Performers, fortune-tellers and vendors had gathered on the boardwalk and Elijah told Dominic that during the summer months Venice Beach was always an entertaining venue like this, a tradition that continued on weekends in winter. Dominic didn’t even know where to look, he was pretty overwhelmed by all the lively, colorful crowds. And as usual, Elijah had a nice music anecdote at hand as apparently Jim Morrison and Ray Manzarek had met right on this promenade back in July 1965 after graduating from UCLA film school. They had been acquaintances and thought they had gone separate ways after leaving school, but they had bumped into each other again by pure chance. Morrison had played a song to Manzarek that he had written which resulted in the foundation of the legendary Doors. Dominic grinned as he listened to Elijah’s passionate voice. Viggo might be a walking philosophy book, but Elijah was a walking music encyclopedia which fascinated Dominic much more.

An hour later they arrived back at the guesthouse. The sun was still high up in the sky, but Dominic was glad that he could escape it for a while as they entered the cool house. Elijah had grown accustomed to the Los Angeles climate, but Dominic noticed that the heat was starting to take its toll on himself. England’s summer really was like winter compared to this.

“Beer or water?” Elijah asked after Dominic had flopped down on the couch. “Water may be healthier, but there’s nothing like a cold beer in LA summer,” he grinned, moving into the kitchen.

“You don’t happen to have German beer do you? That’s the best,” Dominic shouted from the living-room and laid down on his back, feeling his sweat-soaked shirt stick to him even more as his back connected with the sofa.

“Oh damnit, now I know what I have forgotten,” Elijah came back with two open green bottles of Heineken beer, his personal favorite brand. “This will have to do for now.”

Dominic took a bottle from him. “Ah, you have no taste, Lij,” he joked and lifted his head a little, holding the cold glass against his heated forehead. Droplets of water were sliding down the bottle and feeling it against his skin was like an oasis in the desert.

“Fucking heaven. Thank you,” he sighed and lowered the bottle to his lips to take a long sip. Then he put his head back down on the couch.

“No taste, huh?” Elijah raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. “You’re right. How could I ever have ended up with you, if I had taste?”

“Bite me!” Dominic laughed as Elijah sat down next to Dominic’s outstretched legs.

“That’s my line,” Elijah giggled and took a cooling gulp from his bottle.

Dominic bent his left arm underneath his head and held the bottle on top of his chest with the other one, looking up at Elijah with the softest and most loving eyes. Pulling one of his legs up, he leaned it against the backrest of the sofa, relaxing even more.

“Thank you for today, baby. I know, I know, but I really wanna thank you. It’s like all I feel is thankful when I’m with you.”

If his face hadn’t been all flushed already, Elijah sure would have blushed for the hundredth time. He smiled and put his bottle on the table, resting his now empty hand on Dominic’s belly. He could feel the body heat coming through the fabric of Dominic’s shirt and rubbed the spot lightly.

“Me too,” he said, still smiling and his voice grew fainter as he added, “You have no idea…”

Leaning down, Elijah pressed the front of his own damp shirt against Dominic’s to claim his lips in a gentle kiss. Dominic closed his eyes as he returned the kiss just as gently. Elijah’s lips tasted salty from sweat, yet so so sweet, as always. He felt Elijah take his beer bottle out of his hand and heard a brief sound that told him Elijah had placed it on the table. Then he felt Elijah’s entire weight on him, their lips never parting once. His hand now free, Dominic buried his fingers in Elijah’s soft hair, keeping his head in place. Their tongues slipped and slid against one another, like each was caressing the other one. The day before they had been reunited and Dominic had slept off his jetlag and exhaustion during the following evening and night. But now he was fully refreshed, even though he should have been knocked out by the warmth. Yet he wasn’t. The sweaty touch and scent seemed to have the opposite effect. Elijah had the opposite effect. Pale fingers stroked Dominic’s stubbly chin and then one hand traveled down to worm itself underneath the hem of his shirt.

“Mmm…,” Dominic moaned quietly into the eager mouth of this seductive man on top of him, pulling his arm away from beneath his head and moving it down Elijah’s back to slide the shirt up.

Elijah broke the kiss when he felt Dominic’s hand on his shirt and looked down at him with a mixture of desire and mischief. “You’re sure you’re fit enough already?”

Dominic smirked up at him and kept pulling Elijah’s shirt further up. “You know me…,” he said in a low, enticing voice that sent pleasant shivers down Elijah’s spine. How he loved that tone. Dominic removed the shirt completely and dropped it on the floor, admiring the view as Elijah sat up, his thighs straddling his hips. Elijah’s bare skin was as pale and beautiful as ever.

“Jeans at this weather…we must be fucking nuts,” Elijah grinned and shifted further back, so he could attack the button of Dominic’s pants.

“You better get that off quickly,” Dominic murmured and lifted his hips a little off the couch, so Elijah could pull the fabric down his hips and legs. At least Dominic wasn’t wearing any underwear. Elijah’s eyes were fixed on the area he had just exposed and he dropped the pants without even looking. Dominic loved that look in Elijah’s eyes, but he couldn’t enjoy it very long as Elijah bent down and engulfed his semi-erect cock with his lips, like it was a delicious feast on a table. Dominic moaned, tangling his slender fingers in Elijah’s hair and shutting his eyes in pure bliss. Elijah sucked the sweat off the hardening shaft until he tasted no more saltiness on his tongue. Then he moved his lips up and down firmly, taking as much of the now very erect penis into his mouth as he could. Panting and groaning filled his ears, turning him even further on.

“Lijah…baby…,” Dominic pulled at Elijah’s soft strands. His leg was still bent and leaning against the backrest and he felt sweat drip down the inside. “Missed you…”

His jeans became awfully tight, so Elijah had to reluctantly pull away from the lusciously throbbing cock between his lips to sit up and fumble with his zipper. Dominic opened his eyes a crack and watched him. Elijah’s lips were deeply pink and plump from the sucking, his shaky hands finally managing to pull down his pants. Dominic gaze dropped and he licked his lips. He only waited until Elijah had removed shoes and socks before lifting his upper body off the couch and pushing Elijah gently back. Elijah sank down on his back and the next thing he felt were wet kisses and a rough tongue all over his chest and down his torso. His hands flew back above his head, grasping at the armrest and the edge of the couch. He hardly noticed that he had tilted his head back and a little to the side, letting it dangle off the edge. Dominic removed his lips from Elijah’s damp body for a moment to pull off his shirt. As he did so, he gazed down at Elijah who was lying nude and panting in front of him, his chest glistening and his tilted back head exposing his delicious throat. It was one of the sexiest sights Dominic had ever seen. He bent down and now Elijah’s cock was the one getting freed of the sticky sweat.

Elijah moaned out loud and arched his back in pure lust. It really had been too long and now it was almost too overwhelming. Dominic licked and sucked, his fingers stroking Elijah’s tingling balls at the same time. Then the suction was gone. Elijah kept his eyes closed, still in a fog, and felt Dominic pull him up into a sitting position. He blindly crashed his lips against Dominic’s and pushed his tongue into his mouth. Their sweat slick upper bodies pressed against each other as they met in a tight embrace. Elijah slowly regained control and pushed Dominic onto his back, moaning when his wet cock came into contact with Dominic’s. He noticed how it was coated with saliva instead of sweat now. Briefly pulling away from Dominic’s mouth, he looked down at him.

“This…enough?” he managed to pant and Dominic nodded eagerly.

Elijah grabbed Dominic’s thighs and slowly pushed his cock in between his buttocks. He hoped Dominic was right and didn’t need any additional stretching or lubrication. Keeping his movement slow and gentle, Elijah buried his short nails in Dominic’s legs, sliding further in and relieved when it worked easier than he would have thought. He held his breath and groaned. Dominic was still tight and Elijah felt him clench around his slick cock as he pushed it all the way in, still carefully.

“Lijah…,” Dominic gasped and reached up to pull Elijah head down for a kiss. “Love you,” he moaned into that warm mouth and continued moaning as Elijah began rocking his hips, thrusting into him slowly. Elijah laid down on Dominic’s perspiring chest, holding those strong thighs in a firm grip and feeling Dominic’s leaking cock bump into his belly. His right hand managed to leave Dominic’s leg and took hold of the neglected organ. Groaning and hissing, Dominic had to break the kiss in order to catch some much needed air in his lungs. But that didn’t mean that Elijah’s mouth had to get idle. He attached his lips to Dominic’s neck, loving the sounds that came from his throat and feeling the vibrations of his moans. Gradually he increased the pace and thrust a little faster. Dominic’s hands found a cushion just above his head and he clutched it almost in a death grip.

The small wave of pleasure inside his groin got bigger and Elijah moaned against Dominic’s sweaty neck. His hand worked Dominic’s throbbing cock, pulling at it and squeezing it, drawing more sounds of delight from Dominic’s throat. Everything around him vanished as the tingle got stronger with each thrust. Dominic rolled his head to the side and emitted steady moans through his parted lips, losing himself completely in the pleasure that was Elijah. It was one of the moments when they were one. When they gave each other physical pleasure that was incomparable. When they could let go and vanish into their own little world where only they existed.

Dominic came first. He let go of the cushion and wrapped his arm around Elijah’s body, shuddering and moaning as he spilled his seed into Elijah’s hand. Elijah followed just a few seconds later, tensing up and his cock emptying itself inside Dominic’s body. Then he went completely limp, his head landing just underneath Dominic’s chin. The afterglow. The moment when they came back, when they could regain their ability to breathe and speak and when they could savor the remaining sweet tingle in their loins together. They were one bundle of sticky heat and they loved it. Dominic stroked Elijah’s damp hair and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. His other hand moved slowly up and down Elijah’s back. Elijah finally released Dominic’s limp cock and put his cum-covered hand on Dominic’s chest. They remained silent for a long moment.

It was Elijah who spoke again first. Raising his head a little, he looked down into Dominic’s loving eyes. He smiled.

“I love you, too.”

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

His hands gripped the edge of the sink while his back was pressed against the mirror. Luckily the faucet was on the side, otherwise it would have dug into Elijah’s back painfully. Though he doubted that he would have noticed. Letting his head fall back against the mirror and closing his eyes, he loosened his death grip on the edge and grasped Dominic’s head instead which was positioned between his legs. Elijah was naked from the waist down and he felt the cold porcelain of the basin beneath his bottom as Dominic had just lifted him into it. He was wearing a white, long-sleeved shirt that he had managed to button up before Dominic had attacked him from behind. Dominic was fully clothed. A black tuxedo jacket over a white shirt as well as a pair of black pants. It was the classic outfit for an elegant occasion.

Elijah buried his fingers in Dominic’s hair, causing it to get all tousled. Dominic would have to do something about that before they left, but right now he was too busy with sucking on Elijah’s delicious, hard cock to worry about his hair-style. Elijah’s moans and his heavy breathing filled the bathroom of his hotel-room, the skin underneath the fabric of his buttoned up shirt already starting to perspire. Dominic closed his lips around the sensitive head of his rigid penis and his tongue lapped up the pre-cum that had gathered there. Then he sucked hard on it while his fingers fondled the throbbing testicles. Elijah didn’t last long. Dominic could feel his cock start pulsating against his lips and taste more saltiness coming from the slit. Moaning out loud, Elijah sagged back against the mirror as his jerking cock emptied itself inside Dominic’s mouth. Dominic swallowed every drop of the sticky seed, withdrawing a little and letting his throat muscles work quickly in order to avoid any gag reflex. Gradually Elijah stopped pulling at Dominic’s hair and his fingers relaxed. He opened his eyes and smiled a lazy smile. Dominic grinned back at him, putting his hands on Elijah’s thighs and leaning in to kiss him.

“Sorry, baby. I just couldn’t resist.”

“As if...you so planned this,” Elijah murmured into Dominic’s mouth, panting lightly. He was still sitting back against the mirror and his arms came around Dominic’s neck as he was pulled forward a little when Dominic leaned back. Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door, but neither of them noticed. 

“No, really,” Dominic stroked Elijah’s soft, pale legs. “It’s your fault. If you weren’t so seductive, maybe I would be able to keep my hands off you.”

Another knock, even louder this time. Followed by more knocking and it sounded rather aggressive now. Like someone was banging against the door. Finally they realized that someone obviously wanted them to open up.

Elijah pulled away from Dominic’s mouth and blinked. Then he threw him a not quite serious accusing look. “Great, we’ll be late, just because of you.”

“Because of you,” Dominic winked and wrapped his arms around Elijah’s hips to lift him out of the basin. Elijah leaned back against the sink, his legs feeling shaky and his face flushed. “Get ready, I’ll try to give you some time.”

Moving over to the door while at the same time struggling to ignore his hard-on was not that easy, but Dominic made it somehow. Fortunately his black pants managed to hush up the bulge pretty well. He opened the door just as Orlando had raised his fist for another knock.

“Fucking finally! Come on, get your arses moving!” Orlando demanded in a slightly annoyed tone. “Where’s Elijah?”

“Oh, you know,” Dominic folded his arms and leaned against the door-frame with a casual smile. “The prettiest always take the longest in the bathroom.”

“And what about your hair? Looks like…,” Orlando trailed off, suddenly grasping everything. “Oh fuck, you’re impossible. Couldn’t you wait until later?”

Dominic laughed at Orlando’s face and unfolded his arms. Patting Orlando’s shoulder lightly, he said, “Five minutes.”

“Fine,” Orlando sighed. His black tuxedo, shirt and bow-tie looked like the ones Dominic was wearing, as well as the ones Elijah would be wearing. The four hobbits and Orlando were dressed alike, something they had decided would be fun tonight. Plus they could compare each other and fight about who looked best. “Billy, Sean and Christine are outside waiting in the car, so you better hurry.”

Dominic eyed the top of Orlando’s head. His small Mohawk with the shaved sides formed a striking contrast to his elegant outfit. “You know, that hair and this suit, wow, what a great combo. You’re gonna be the eye catcher of the night,” he grinned.

“You think so?” Orlando touched his remaining hair. He had preferred this style ever since they started filming since it was more comfortable when he was wearing his Legolas wig. And it looked pretty cool, he thought. Sometimes he would let it grow out a little and then he would decide to shave it off again. He loved doing things in the spur of the moment. “Think the women will go for it?”

“Bet on it. We’ll be right with you,” Dominic turned around again, heading for the bathroom.

“You’re worse than girls!” Orlando shouted after them and shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. Today was their first day back in New Zealand after the four week filming break and their schedule began with an event they all had been looking forward to, the Winter Festival Hollywood Ball in Queenstown. It was also the first formal event they would attend which made it even more fun. Cutting a dash in fine tuxedos, arriving in a limousine, walked a red carpet, drinking champagne. It was all rather new to Orlando, Dominic and Billy. To Elijah and Sean probably not so much.

“Wow, Lijah,” Dominic gasped as he reentered the bathroom. Elijah was standing in front of the mirror and tying his bow-tie, now wearing his black tuxedo jacket and black pants. He looked at his reflection and then at Dominic’s as he entered. “You’re looking like a true gentlehobbit. Breathtaking.”

Elijah smiled at Dominic’s reflection before turning around to him. “Same goes for you. But you should fix your hair and this,” he said as he finished tying his bow-tie and then readjusted Dominic’s which had slipped a little. “Better!”

“Thanks,” Dominic kissed him briefly and picked up the comb to run it through his hair. “We better hurry, or Orli will throw another fit.”

“Did you tell him it’s your fault that we’re late?” Elijah asked with a smirk, grabbing the tube of hair gel to gel up his fringe. 

“Sure,” Dominic put the comb down and took the tube from Elijah. Squeezing a small dab onto his palms and rubbing his hands together, he spread it over his hair to get a proper style.

“Shit you did,” Elijah laughed and washed his hands. “Hmm…you’re looking gorgeously cool.”

Dominic washed the remaining gel off his hands and turned to Elijah, eyeing him up and down. It was the first time they saw each other in suits and it was definitely something Dominic could grow accustomed to. “I feel like we’re about to go to the Oscars,” he grinned excitedly. “Think we’ll be there with Lord of the Rings?”

“Of course we will!” Elijah exclaimed with a chuckle. How could anyone doubt that? “Three years in a row, you’ll see.”

“That would be awesome. You’ve been there before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, I have vivid memories of presenting an award once. But really, it looks more glamorous on TV than it is in reality.”

“Don’t ruin my fantasies!” Dominic giggled.

Five minutes later Dominic, Elijah and Orlando left the hotel they were staying at and walked over to the waiting stretch limousine. The chauffeur was standing beside the backdoor and opened it when the three of them arrived. It was strange coming from Los Angeles to New Zealand, switching seasons within a matter of hours. Celebrating a winter festival in July. At least winter in New Zealand was mild, seldom below 15 degrees. Orlando got into the spacious backseat first, followed by Elijah and then Dominic whose eyes grew wide as soon as he spotted the interior of the car. Billy, Sean and Christine were sitting on the leather seats on the far side, each of them holding a champagne glass. On the opposite side there was a line of free seats that Orlando, Dominic and Elijah lowered themselves onto. Right beside it a mini bar with a row of champagne glasses as well as two bottles in ice buckets invited for a drink. A small screen was installed in the shiny wooden wall between the passenger part and the driver part and a telephone receiver connected the two areas.

“Fuck me,” Dominic murmured in awe and remembered that they had female company. “Oops sorry, Chris. But…man…”

“Welcome to Hollywood,” Billy raised his glass cheerfully. “Get a drink and join the fun!”

Dominic who was sitting right beside the mini bar grabbed three of the neatly arranged glasses and passed two on to Elijah and Orlando. Then he reached for the half full, ice cold champagne bottle and filled them. 

“So, this is what expects us when we’re heading for the Oscars, Lij?” he asked and Elijah grinned at that.

“Sure, only ten times more luxurious,” he replied and glanced at Sean across from him. “So, you found a babysitter after all? Awesome.”

“Yeah, thank God. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave Chris at home tonight,” Sean smiled at Elijah and then at his wife.

“Oh, are we such horrible company?” Billy frowned mockingly. 

Dominic smirked, holding his glass with his left hand so he could wrap his right arm around Elijah’s shoulder. “Don’t mind Billy, Sean. There’s nothing like having your significant other with you,” he said and briefly kissed Elijah’s temple who smiled down into his glass. They had decided to keep their public demonstrations of affection at bay when they were out with their friends. Not just because they knew that couply behavior could easily become annoying to everyone around, no matter how much they all liked each other, but also because they didn’t want to risk anything. They would regret it, if the wrong people happened to witness this.

The limousine slowly started to move as it took them to their destination for the night. The champagne glasses were filled with the fancy, sparkling fluid and they raised them.

“To what?” Orlando asked in a graceful tone, his chin tilted up in an attempt to appear super elegant. 

“To Pete,” Elijah said with a happy smile. The others agreed enthusiastically. There was no one who deserved it more. Dominic’s arm was still around him when Elijah took a sip from his champagne glass and he leaned against him. Without Peter these movies wouldn’t have been possible. Without Peter none of them would have been here. Without Peter this wonderful man wouldn’t have been sitting next to Elijah. Without him they probably never would have met. It was hard to fathom, but it was true. They owed Peter everything. And Elijah thanked himself every day that he had gathered the courage to step in front of the rest of the Fellowship and tell them everything. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to lean against Dominic’s side. Dominic wouldn’t have been able to wrap his arm around him like this. They would be normal friends, struggling to hide. But no more.

While Elijah was still musing about the way fate had treated Dominic and him, the limousine slowed down and came to a halt. He could already catch a glimpse of the venue through the dark windows of the car, but when the chauffeur opened the door for them and they stepped out of the vehicle, the building in front of him literally took his breath away. The Millennium Hotel with its big windows at the front was brightly illuminated against the stunning mountain backdrop, making it look even nobler. The limousine had stopped underneath the large, rectangular front roof which sported an arc on top of it. A red carpet led from the car place to the entrance and there was already a crowd of people gathered inside the foyer.

A friendly looking handler approached them immediately and explained the schedule of the night which was essentially that there was no particular schedule. They would probably be approached by the media to answer a couple of questions, but above all they were supposed to enjoy themselves.

“Ace,” Dominic rubbed his hands in anticipation and watched how Sean and Christine led the way through the entrance.

“So, basically we’re just partying the night away,” Orlando grinned at Dominic, Elijah and Billy. “Well, no problem.”

Elijah touched his bow-tie, making sure that it was still neat and orderly and then he made his way over the short red carpet, followed by Orlando, Dominic and Billy. A camera team was standing beside the carpet, as well as a few photographers. Elijah briefly turned around, a smile on his face as he glanced at the others. Dominic shifted his eyes from the eager camera men over to him and smiled back. He knew Elijah was still weary from the long flight and the jet-lag, but he didn’t let anyone notice. He looked like he had just come directly from the spa. They passed the camera team and the photographers outside and made their entrance into the bright and crowded foyer where another camera team was already awaiting them. Nine months into principal photography and the press still couldn’t really place who was who yet. But as usual, Elijah was the center of attention. Dominic wondered if the journalists even made any effort to tell the other hobbits apart. He had gotten confused with Billy more often than he could count, not that he could blame them. They were unimportant to the media. Elijah was the star, the one who got approached the most. Whether he would admit it or not. And Dominic loved watching him. How Elijah was all professional and handled the media the way he had handled it almost his entire life. The camera team moved towards them immediately and the reporter with the microphone held it right in front of Elijah’s nose for a short interview.

“Filming is going well. We’ve just come off a month’s vacation, so it really got me raring to go again,” Elijah told the reporter and then was asked another question that Dominic could not make out with all the noises and voices around them. He could, however, hear Elijah’s answer very well. Elijah’s voice which was always clearly audible and beautiful in his ears.

“Oh, I’ve been like on a plane for the last 20 hours, but I’m alright. I’m good.”

No more questions and Elijah turned back to his friends with a smile. The operator continued filming, apparently wanting to capture more of the event and the atmosphere. He flashed his impressive camera at Dominic, Billy, Orlando and Sean, but the latter didn’t really feel like showing a happy smile. He had flown home to Los Angeles for a few days as well before he had to resume shooting, like everyone else. But Elijah was able to hide his fatigue better and so was Dominic. Sean managed a weak smile into the camera though. He couldn’t wait to move beyond the foyer where press and cameras were not allowed. Dominic, on the other hand, once again proved his reputation as Mister Entertainer to the public. As soon as the camera was on him, he opened his mouth wide and leaned in close to the lens, much to the amusement of the operator. Orlando observed him and had to struggle very much not to burst into laughter. Instead he pretended to be totally shocked and embarrassed.

“I do apologize for him,” he told the cameraman, and then to Dominic, “You gotta show the world your face, not your tonsils, Dom. Or else they’re gonna be more famous than you.”

Dominic laughed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. “It’s fun being non elegant at an elegant event. Every time I feel the camera, I just have to do something.”

“I can’t wait to watch your first comedy,” Orlando said, taking a look around. “We should move on, I need another drink.”

Dominic glanced at Elijah who was immersed in a talk with Billy just a few feet away from them. How different Elijah looked with his graceful tuxedo and his neat posture. Usually he very much preferred his jeans, t-shirts or buttoned up shirts, making him look even younger than his 19 years. But now he was very much the young man that he was. Dominic could easily picture him at the Oscars, walking the red carpet and being all glamorous movie-star. He tried to picture himself, and that was not so easy. It would be fun, no doubt, but it was still so far away in the future. What would it be like then? Would the press know his name two years from now? He frowned at the thought. He was one of the other hobbits, whereas Elijah was Frodo. And he was a popular, well-known former child actor. More so than Sean. Dominic knew that Elijah appreciated the attention he was getting, though he didn’t like being the center of attention. Whereas Dominic was completely different. He was an attention whore, he was very much aware of it. And he loved pulling Elijah along with him, making him let go and goof around mindlessly. Billy used to be his partner-in-crime and together they would drag Elijah into the abyss of the British humor. Looking at Elijah now, Dominic couldn’t help but wonder where he himself would end up once Lord of the Rings was over. It would certainly bring his name out there, something he had been working for so hard. But then what? Would he ever be someone other than one of the other hobbits? Shaking his head, Dominic tried to shut these thoughts down. He didn’t want them now. Right now he wanted to enjoy the night without worrying about unimportant ego matters.

They left the foyer and stepped into the luxurious hall where the Rodger Fox Band, a popular Big Band from New Zealand, was playing their tunes. Elijah listened to them, Dominic to his left and Billy to his right. He felt more relaxed with them around. Usually these tuxedo events tended to make him rather anxious, even though he wouldn’t let anyone notice of course. His fingers inside his pockets fidgeted with his clove pack. He wanted to smoke.

“Not really your kind of music, huh Lij?” Billy chuckled, misinterpreting Elijah’s expression.

“What? No, they’re great,” Elijah quickly said and then grinned back at him. “I do appreciate all kinds of music, not just the Pumpkins. Thanks, Billy.”

“Lijah’s craving for a smoke,” Dominic told Billy and giggled at Elijah’s playfully rolling eyes.

“There’s really nothing I can hide from you, is there?” Elijah wanted to know, pulling the pack out of his pocket. “Alright, you got me.”

Dominic crossed his arms in front of his chest and smiled in satisfaction. “Mmm…you know, if you were a girl, I would grab you and swirl your across the dance floor right here and now.”

“Oh no, you wouldn’t. I’m a crappy dancer,” Elijah laughed. “Why don’t you guys go and join Orli at the bar. Before he downs more than he should once again. I’ll be right with you.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Billy said and together with Dominic made his way through the crowd over to the drinks. Elijah grinned as he watched them leave, kind of glad that Billy dragged his mate with him. He felt a little guilty that he had gotten Dominic into smoking occasionally again. And certainly they would have spent their cigarette break together, as they had done often lately. So, Elijah turned around and slowly managed to move towards one of the doors which led out into the garden area, getting stopped a few times and receiving greetings from interested strangers. Finally he reached the glass door and opened it, stepping out into the cool evening air. He shut the door again, stuck a clove in between his lips and lit it with his lighter that he then put back into the pack and into his pocket. Taking a deep drag, Elijah inhaled the smoke and felt immediately relieved and relaxed again. He slowly walked down a short stone path and ended up standing in front of a little pond. Stones of various sizes surrounded the water, but it was already too shadowy to see if there was any fish in it. Kneeling down, Elijah dipped his forefinger into the pond. It was pretty cold. To his left he could make out a couple of wooden chairs and tables underneath umbrellas. Beyond the pond and behind him were slim trees without any leaves or blossoms. In summer this place must be breathtaking.

Elijah stood up again and lifted the cigarette to his lips, his mind drifting. He was glad that they got the opportunity to come to Queenstown where they had no new scenes to film yet. He had grown to love the city ever since he first saw it. It reminded him a lot of Te Anau which would always be his favorite place in New Zealand. Queenstown was built around an inlet on Lake Wakatipu, plus it had spectacular views of a nearby mountain range on the southeastern shore of the lake, with the significant name of The Remarkables. The sight of snow-covered mountain tops above the shiny surface of a large lake would never cease to amaze Elijah. He wished he would get to see the mountains at Lake Te Anau again soon. It had been too long. But they wouldn’t get back there before September, and for Frodo and Sam scenes only. No Dominic involved. Sighing and taking another deep puff on his clove, Elijah looked up into the clear night sky. A few faint stars were already visible. He could still hear the noises from inside, but they seemed so far away in this moment.

“Lovely night, hmm?”

The sudden sound of the voice almost made Elijah drop his cigarette and he turned around with a jerk. At the end of the stone path, right next to the pond, Sean was standing with his hands in his pants pockets. Elijah smiled.

“It is,” he nodded.

Sean started walking towards him slowly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay. I was just being a little…absent,” Elijah said, drawing on his clove and exhaling the smoke.

Sean came to stand right in front of Elijah, his eyes traveling up and down his body while he was coming closer. “You look great, Elijah. Really.”

“You too,” Elijah lowered the clove again and held it between fore finger and middle finger. He thought Sean might start another of his lectures about the bad consequences of smoking, but he didn’t. “Doesn’t happen every day that we get to spruce ourselves up like this. What are you doing out here all by yourself, where’s Chris?”

“Inside. I was just going to catch some air. It’s so stuffy in there,” Sean raised a hand to his face and rubbed it over his eyes, sighing quietly. 

“You’re looking fucking tired, man. Long flight, huh?” Elijah remarked in a compassionate tone and Sean nodded.

“Yeah. Or I’m just getting old. You seem to have handled it better than me.”

“I didn’t even know that you were in LA as well. You could have called, we could have met up.”

“I probably should have,” Sean lowered his hand again and looked at Elijah with dark-rimmed eyes. “And you? Nicotine fix?”

“Yeah,” Elijah chuckled, gazing down as he flicked some of the ashes off onto the stony ground. “I know, I know. I’m hopeless.”

“Mmm…,” Sean scratched his chin for a moment, not knowing if he should say this next and how Elijah would react. He just had to give it a try then. “Doesn’t occur that often that I catch you all by yourself.”

It wasn’t so much the words that made Elijah look up and form a light frown. It was the tone in which Sean said them. It sounded critical. Accusing. But also with a tinge of sadness. 

“Sean?”

Sean looked down at his feet and sighed, his shoulders sagging visibly. “I…I’m sorry…it’s just…,” he began and chewed on his bottom lip. When he gazed up again, there was sadness but also longing in his eyes. “I really missed you, Elijah. I would have loved to go on vacation with you, but I’m just not…oh damn…,” he trailed off again.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and Elijah’s eyes on them. Even now, in this dim light, they still looked big and enchanting. “Come on, let’s sit down over there,” Elijah said softly and led Sean over to one of the wooden tables where he stubbed his clove out in an ashtray. They sat down in chairs facing each other.

Staring down at his hands, Sean felt like punching himself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin this night for you.”

“Stop apologizing. You’re not ruining anything,” Elijah said with a mild smile, despite the unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach. He could imagine what was bothering Sean. “You think I spend too much time with Dom and Billy, don’t you?” he asked right away and that seemed to shock Sean a little.

“No!” Sean quickly said, only to start stammering again. “Well…I…I don’t know how to put it. It sounds so stupid…”

He stopped again, running a hand through his hair and clearly searching for words. Then he looked up and right at Elijah who looked back at him attentively.

“I understand that you spend so much time with them, Elijah. I do. I mean, you and Dom are together and Billy is his best friend and Orlando is on your wavelength and the same age as Dom. We hang out as well, but it’s mostly on set and rarely in our downtime. I don’t blame you, don’t misunderstand me. It’s the situation and the circumstances. You guys are in a completely different phase of your lives. You’re these young, unbound and cool guys, whereas I’m this uncool, old-fashioned, married man. I feel like…I don’t know…a little like an outsider…”

“Oh Sean, come on,” Elijah interrupted him, though deep inside he knew that Sean probably had a point. “You’re not an outsider just because you’re married and have a family. I did ask you a couple of times if you wanted to join us when we went out, but you always declined.”

“I know, I know. You must understand….when I came here, I knew I had to carve out a place for my family. They’re my priority. I need to make sure that they’re taken care of, no matter what Christine says herself. I’m feeling so torn, Elijah. I wanna be a part of your gang, but at the same time I know I can’t. Not to the extent that you guys are, at least. You’re so close and have bonded so well, and I feel like I’m constantly standing on the fringe. And after everything that happened between us, I’m not sure that Dom would even want me there anyway. I can’t blame him if he still hates my guts.”

“He doesn’t hate your guts!” Elijah exclaimed, his voice sounding very loud in this relatively quiet place. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, he looked into Sean’s eyes which were cast down. “Sean, believe me, Dom and I talked this through and we agreed that holding grudges only keeps us from getting over it and moving on. So no, he doesn’t hate you and neither do I. It’s alright. It’s in the past. As for the outsider thing, if you wanna join us, you can join us. It’s absolutely no problem and I’m sure Chris would understand. How do you expect us to develop a better bond if you always withdraw?”

Sean sighed, focusing his eyes on Elijah again. He loved Elijah. He loved him like a big brother loved his younger brother and he would do anything for him. But he also knew that something between them would always be broken and he himself was responsible for that. Sean’s behavior had almost cost him his friendship with Elijah.

“You’re right,” he eventually nodded. “It’s just…Elijah, you mean so much to me. I know I screwed up so bad, but it’s really you that I miss, most of all. You once said you’re sick of me treating you like you’re my kid, but I actually feel like we’re brothers. We’re experiencing something so amazing here and we’ve seen so much and have gone through so much already. I want you to know that I’m so proud of you, seeing how much you’ve accomplished here so far. You know, I always envied you in a way. You’re everything I wanted to be. You had the better career as a child, you grew up to be such a beautiful young, confident, worldly man. You managed your career so well and made good decisions more often than not, unlike me. I’m so happy to be here with you.”

Cocking his head a little to the side, Elijah put a hand over one of Sean’s and smiled at him. Sean’s words were incredibly flattering and touching and he found himself momentarily at a loss for an answer. They had had their clashes and struggles in the past. There was a time when Elijah had seriously doubted that he and Sean might ever get along again. But if there had still been any doubts, they were now destroyed.

“Thank you,” he said quietly and gently, giving Sean’s hand a light squeeze. Sean looked at him and for the first time since they had met in this garden, he smiled. It was a sincere, heartfelt smile. “I’m very fond of you as well, Sean, and I admire you and your work. I couldn’t ask for a better Sam, even with all your safety and taking care issues. Please, stop running yourself down. You’re one of us hobbits. Even the prissy Elf is one of us. How about we do something together? Just you and me, for a start. Go into town, go CD shopping or something. Would you like that?”

Now Sean couldn’t stop smiling. What a huge step this had been for him. He had begged Elijah and Dominic for forgiveness and they had forgiven him. Yet he still had felt like he had to make amends with Elijah in particular. And now here Elijah was, sitting opposite him, holding his hand and making another step towards him. Not for the first time Sean was amazed that Elijah was actually a decade younger than him. Sometimes Elijah stroke him as so much older, wiser and more mature than Sean was with his 29 years and his family.

“Yes,” he said, his voice cracking with emotions. “I would.”

They got up and met in a tight embrace. An embrace between co-workers, friends and, hopefully soon also from Elijah’s part, brothers. Sean held on to that hope, like he was holding on to Elijah’s slender body in the chilly night air. And just like Dominic had made a silent promise to himself so long ago, the promise to take care of Elijah, to help him through anything and never let him fall into another dark hole again, Sean made a silent promise of his own now. No matter what, he would never ever hurt Elijah again.


	42. Chapter 42

It was over. Almost over. With all the strength that he had left Sam hurried through the doorway that led into the volcano mountain and for a moment he could see nothing but smoke. The Crack of Doom. Frodo’s and Sam’s destination. The climax. Everything had built towards this moment. The great fissure that split a long tunnel which bored into Mount Doom, the only place where the One Ring could be destroyed.

Big machines blew smoke and wind into his face and reddish lights were glowing all around him as Sean staggered along the Crack of Doom set in the Wellington studio. His hobbit clothes were all dusty and crumpled, his dirty face showing scratches and his walk careful.

“Frodo!” He continued moving ahead, shouting and panting heavily, making his way forward until he came to stand right before the camera team. The camera caught his face in a close-up, so he could fully concentrate on his expression. The wind was still blowing around him and together with the flickering lights created an eerie apocalyptic mood. The set was absolutely fantastic.

“Destroy it! Go on!”

On the far side of the studio, in front of a wall that was formed like the rocky interior of a mountain, Elijah was sitting on top of a high step ladder. His legs straddled the top rung and he was in his full, dusty Frodo costume. In his left hand he was holding a bottle of water, in his right hand he was clutching the ring. He was in Sean’s field of view and looked over at him as Sean continued yelling for Frodo to finish his task.

“Throw it in the fire!”

It was pretty loud in the studio, so Elijah could hardly hear him, but his main purpose was serving as a fixed point for Sean to focus on. They were shooting Sam’s part of the Crack of Doom scene. While he was watching Sean perform his heart out, Elijah tried to picture the final result on the big screen. He knew it would look amazing, and he could hardly wait to see it. Elijah was too far away to see them, but he could tell that tears were spilling from Sean’s eyes now. It was the fatal moment when Frodo claimed the ring for himself. Elijah had yet to film that part. It would require all his acting skills, but watching Sean right now made it easier for him to prepare himself mentally.

“Cut!” Peter’s voice echoed through the studio. Elijah glanced down at the director who was sitting in front of his monitors by the side of the set. It had been the first take and more would follow, no doubt, but already Peter seemed to be very satisfied. Removing his headphones, he raised his hand and gave Sean a thumb up sign. Elijah took a sip from his water bottle and gazed at Sean. He looked exhausted, but happy. The wind and smoke machines were still roaring. When their eyes met, they smiled at each other. Peter studied the monitor intently, watching the footage and talking to his crew members. Then he put his headphones back on.

“Thank you, Sean,” he spoke into his megaphone. “One more.”

Sean repeated the scene and Elijah thought he became even better. The scene was more difficult than one might assume. The extreme close-up, the emotional level ranging from lost and impatient to hopeless and desperate that had to be visible in his face. Sean did a great job. Peter had him do the scene a few more times and then indicated for him to come down. Elijah climbed down the ladder and joined Peter and Sean in front of the monitor.

“That was great, Sean. Take a look,” Peter said. Sean and Elijah peeked over his shoulder and looked at the monitor. Sean crossed his arms as he took a close and rather critical look at himself.

“I don’t know what’s most irritating. The wind that blows right into your face, the flickering lights or the smoke,” he remarked with a chuckle.

“Anything to make it easier for you,” Peter told him and then added with a grin. “Remember, pain is temporary, film is forever.”

Sean and Elijah laughed. They always had to laugh when Peter said that phrase. It had become sort of a catchphrase during shooting.

“This is so awesome,” Elijah said, looking at the screen with the different takes. “Awesome and tragic.”

“Your part is gonna be the real tragic one, Elijah,” Peter stood up with a smile. “Think you’re prepared?”

“I am,” Elijah didn’t hesitate one second.

“No doubt about that. Not every actor can claim that he made his director cry. At least not in a positive way,” Peter gazed alternately at Elijah and Sean as he remembered the scene on the slopes of Mount Doom. Sam cradling Frodo in his arms, bringing up the Shire and all the memories that had faded away in Frodo’s mind. Sam lifting Frodo up, carrying him up the mountain, helping him in the only way he still could.

“That was, I’m not kidding, the most touching scene I’ve ever shot. Anyway, lunch break, everyone. See you later.”

Sean watched Peter walk a few feet away to talk to his camera man. He put an arm around Elijah’s shoulder and smiled. “He was really in quite a rush to announce the break, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Elijah studied Peter’s back and then smiled at Sean. “I guess we did a real good job, huh?”

“Of course, as always,” Sean feigned an overly stuck up expression and chuckled. “Come on, I’m starving.”

Together they left the big studio hall and entered a narrow corridor that led them into the spacious catering room. More and more crew people streamed into it for their well deserved lunch, but not Dominic and Billy since they weren’t filming in Wellington today, to Elijah’s dismay. Sean, on the other hand, was glad about his alone time with Elijah. They had been shooting a lot of scenes together lately. The day before they had finished the Cirith Ungol sequence with Frodo lying tied up on the stony tower ground after getting captured by Uruk-Hai. In the book he is completely naked in that scene, but of course they couldn’t show that in the movie. Elijah had joked that every good movie contained at least a little bit of porn, whereas Peter said getting a PG rating was more important to him. Sean had been utterly fascinated by the sight of Elijah with the rope around his wrists and his shirt gone, revealing his nude and flawless upper body. Even though it had been made less flawless with dirt, scratches and wounds by Elijah’s make-up girl, Sean thought that there was a mesmerizing, ethereal glow about it. He was just perfect.

“No pasta today?” Sean asked when they stood in front of the food table. “You’re not getting ill, are you?”

“Haha,” Elijah had picked up a plate and started shoveling a tropical salad with papaya, avocado, palm hearts, Bermuda onions and curried citrus dressing onto it. “Don’t wanna stuff myself too much before my big scene.”

“Good idea,” Sean said. He settled on Balsamic chicken with mushrooms and artichoke sauce. They went in search of a free table and found one in a corner.

Sitting down across from Sean, Elijah eyed the plate with the fat chicken. “I still don’t get why Sam is still gaining weight. He should lose weight, shouldn’t he?”

“Pete wants Sam to remain all portly, as most hobbits are,” Sean said, grabbing his fork. “And they’re eating a lot in the books. Like when they’re with Faramir, I think. But I don’t know exactly, I’m still fighting my way through the first book,” he admitted with a blush.

Elijah ate a fork full of salad and swallowed it. “They should finally get a radio in here or something. We deserve some music during our break.”

Sean grinned at him. “Some people actually prefer talking to each other instead of listening to blaring music, Elijah.”

“Well, I can talk and listen at the same time. Sometimes,” Elijah winked. “And it doesn’t have to be blaring.”

“You’re already the DJ in the feet trailer. Isn’t that enough for you?” Sean blew on a piece of hot meat, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Mmm…,” Elijah thought for a moment, looking around the room. “Yeah. We should set up some turntables, so I could spin records during the breaks.” His face lit up, like he was seriously considering this idea.

“For real?” Sean raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Maybe,” Elijah put on a mysterious grin and forked up more salad. “You don’t listen to much music, do you?”

“No, not really. I’m more the reading type. Just not Lord of the Rings,” Sean chuckled and shoved the chicken meat into his mouth.

Elijah watched him from the other side of the table, tapping his fork against his lips, like he was thinking hard about something.

“What?” Sean asked and had to chuckle again. “Did I say something wrong?”

Lowering the fork, Elijah pointed it at Sean. “I know what we can do. Not hit the pubs. I’ll take you CD shopping.”

Sean looked at the fork in Elijah’s hand and then up into his determined eyes.

“You wanna take me CD shopping? Me? Are you sure?” he was partly amused, partly confused by the proposal. “But I’m so hopelessly unhip. You really wanna waste your time with me?”

“That is exactly why you need a helping hand,” Elijah smiled, sticking the fork into his salad. “You’re like that hopeless girl from Clueless. Only she’s a fashion victim, and you’re a music victim. Which is even worse, if you ask me. And I’m the trendy girl that helps you.”

“Clueless?” Sean laughed. “How many times did you watch that one?”

“My sister loves it, so I watched it with her a few times. It’s fucking awesome,” Elijah said, his mind traveling back to that special day in Te Anau when Dominic and he had driven to the shore of the lake. Or Elijah had been driving, on the left side of the street, for the first time, and he had managed to maneuver the car safely out of town, but had freaked momentarily when a huge truck had suddenly headed towards them. He had known then how Dionne had felt on the freeway. He grinned to himself. Fucking geek.

“Interesting interesting,” Sean smirked at him. “I didn’t know you like girls movies.”

“But it’s a cool girls movie. Dom is totally into When Harry Met Sally, that is even girlier.”

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Alright,” Sean raised his arms in surrender and giggled. “I give up.”

“You better,” Elijah teased, lifting a fork full of salad to his mouth. “Anyway, I’ll take you CD shopping. Arguing is useless.”

Sean cocked his head and looked at Elijah who was chewing. “So, could you fake an orgasm right here and now?”

Elijah stopped chewing for a moment and then quickly gulped down his food. “Fuck off,” he laughed.

“I give you 100 bucks.”

“Fuck off!” Elijah repeated, a little too loud. A few heads turned into their direction, but they were all grinning. Everyone knew about Elijah’s bad cursing habit. Lowering his voice, he said, “One, it’s a little difficult for men to fake an orgasm, don’t you think? And two, I don’t need to fake any orgasms.”

With that he leant back with a self-satisfied grin and enjoyed the look on Sean’s face.

“Okay okay, I got it,” Sean shook his head with a smile. “Little innocent Elijah is no more.”

“Too right,” Elijah growled extra sexily.

Once lunch break was over, Elijah’s light-hearted mood was gone. He went into the make-up room where he was made ready for his crucial scene. A long bloody scratch on his cheek, crust of blood around his neck where the ring on the chain had been cutting into his skin, dirt and sweat on and damp curls around his face. When he came out of the room and entered the studio hall, Sean gasped audibly. Elijah looked like he had during their endless crawling shots on the slopes of Mount Ruapehu, only ten times worse.

“You look great, Elijah. I mean, you know what I mean.”

Elijah smiled nervously, fidgeting around with the ring on the chain in his hands. “Thanks. I could do with a smoke though.” And a phone call with Dom, he thought. He felt prepared and ready, but hearing Dominic’s voice right now could have helped him calm his jumbled nerves. He knew what Dominic would tell him. That he could do this, that he had nothing to worry about, that he would nail it, just like he nailed all his scenes until now. Dominic who had always had faith him, who had always believed in him and without whom Elijah wouldn’t even be here anymore. But it was the sound of Dominic’s voice that Elijah needed to hear, at least once a day. Even if it was just over the phone.

He talked to Peter who explained the scene to him once again. Elijah knew the scene very well, they had discussed it already, each of them bringing in ideas. As he stood on top of the Crack of Doom set, the camera team in front of him and the wind machines starting to roar, Elijah briefly closed his eyes. His right hand held the ring with the chain. His mind shut out everything else. He felt the cool wind on his face and tried to imagine that it was burning hot. He was Frodo of the Shire and he was at the end of his journey. He had carried the ring all the way to Mount Doom with the help of his loyal Samwise and now he would destroy it in the very fires where it had been forged. This was the initial situation. The dramatic change of it lay entirely on his shoulders. He had to portray it with nothing but his facial expressions. Peter would give him as many takes as he needed, but Elijah had transformed into his character in an instant. He opened his eyes again and turned his head around. He had just spoken to Sam and was now about to turn back to the abyss beneath. The camera was in front of him, but he didn’t notice it. He heard Peter’s voice from down below and it sounded far away.

“Everyone ready. And – action!”

Elijah hardly heard the clap of the movie slate. He opened his right hand and looked down at the shiny object. Then he took the chain with his left hand and held it up. The ring dangled in front of his eyes. The wind was blowing all around him, ruffling his hair. He could hear Sam’s voice in his head, the words that Sean had shouted earlier. Destroy it. Let it go. Throw it in the fire. He panted, his eyes fixed on the ring. Then they shifted and he looked down. There was nothing but the grey ground of the set, but in his mind he saw the streaming, glowing lava. Peter had described both Sméagol and Frodo as drug addicts. The longer they carried the ring, the more addicted they became to it. The effects were visible in Sméagol who had turned into a completely different creature. And now the prospect of destroying the ring was impossible for Frodo. He had been carrying it for far too long. He needed it and suddenly the lava below him wasn’t the place to get rid of the threat of Sauron anymore. It was the threat itself because it would take the ring away from Frodo. He panted. How was he supposed to destroy it? He couldn’t do it. He heard it speak to him again, as it had done before. It was like it was putting a spell on him. It captured his entire mind and soul. He stared at it, like it was the only thing in the world. It consumed him, once and for all.

A few feet below him, Sean was looking intently at the monitor that showed what the camera was filming. He was sitting next to Peter, hardly breathing and one hand over his mouth, as he watched the different expressions on Elijah’s face, changing from ready to captivated and eventually to consumed. He knew this was a difficult scene. Probably Elijah’s most difficult scene. He had to pour everything into it and he was doing an incredible job. The manic look in Elijah’s eyes sent shivers down Sean’s spine. He glanced at Peter whose face was unreadable and then back at the screen. He shivered once more.

Peter suddenly moved and grabbed the megaphone. “Cut!” he shouted, and Elijah lowered his arm. Taking a deep breath, Elijah realized how tensed up his body had been during the scene.

“That was fantastic, Elijah. One more,” he heard the director say. It took him a few moments until he was ready again and then he repeated the shot.

Sean observed him through the monitor, holding his breath. If the Oscar Academy wasn’t on such bad terms with fantasy movies, Sean would have sworn that Elijah would get a nomination. But maybe the Lord of the Rings movies would change this unworthy reputation. They would change a lot, he was sure of it.

 

~**~

 

Elijah knew he would probably never be able to enter Cuba Mall without a deep, red blush creeping over his face. He was glad he couldn’t remember all of that fatal night, only bits and pieces, but one image was clearer than anything. He and Dominic on top of the Bucket Fountain and Dominic undoing his pants to urinate into one of the buckets. For a long time he had been too shy to ask Dominic if he had checked Elijah out on the occasion, but then he had just asked him. And found out that they had actually checked each other out. As pissed as they had been, they had still been able to focus on the real interesting things. He saw the fountain in the distance and chewed on his bottom lip. Sean was walking next to him.

“The infamous fountain is over there,” Elijah said, pointing at the strange construction.

“Fountain?” Sean frowned and narrowed his eyes to see what Elijah was pointing at. When they came closer, he suddenly understood. “Oh, _that_ fountain,” he chuckled, scratching his chin as he eyed the object. “Mmm…it’s really a little…ugly, isn’t it?”

Elijah first stared at him before bursting into laughter. He never thought Sean would call it ugly, even if it was. Simply out of respect. “That’s exactly what I thought as well when I saw it for the first time.”

“I can picture you and Dom on top of that thing. At least it wasn’t in broad daylight”

“If you wanna see the photos, ask Liv. Or better not. I hope she has destroyed them by now,” Elijah snorted. They passed the fountain and moved on.

Sean grinned and glanced back over his shoulder, taking a last look at it. “Yeah, I don’t think I have to see the evidence.”

“Which reminds me,” Elijah said. “We still gotta plot our revenge on Orlando. The bastard has to pay. He was the one who told Pete.”

“Hmm,” Sean tapped a finger against his lips. “I would ask Viggo. He’s pretty creative, he should think of something.”

“Good idea! Oh, it’s over there,” Elijah led Sean straight towards a store with a sign that showed yellow squares and circles with red letters which read The CD and DVD Store.

They entered it and Sean found himself momentarily overwhelmed by the seemingly endless CD shelves. Scratching the back of his neck, he surveyed the vast room. “Okay, I think I do need some help.”

Elijah laughed and moved ahead into the rock and pop section. “No problem. I have some recommendations for you.”

Sean followed him and then stopped, watching his animated friend. Elijah looked like a little kid in a candy store. His eyes were even bigger than usual, holding a special gleam and taking everything in, and his fingers flipped through the various CD cases. He was completely in his element.

“How did you become like this?” Sean asked amused.

“Huh?” Elijah paused and looked up. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, such an avid music lover? I’ve never met anyone like you.”

Elijah grinned and looked down at the CD again. “I don’t know, I’ve always loved it. But the Pumpkins got me obsessed. They released Siamese Dream when I was 12 and I would listen to it day and night. I traveled so much as a kid and got to know so many different people with different music tastes and who told me to listen to this or that. So, I started collecting more and more music.”

Burying his hands in his pockets, Sean nodded. “Hmm, how many CD do you have?”

“About 1,000. Steadily increasing.”

“Jesus…guess it’s like me and my books.”

Eventually Elijah pulled one CD off the shelf. He turned around and faced Sean again, remembering his very first deep conversation with Dominic about their passions. How they had gotten to know each other better and Elijah had felt an instant connection.

“Why haven’t we talked about this before?” he asked incredulously. “Our passions. It’s such an interesting thing about a person, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know,” Sean shrugged, looking at the ground. “We haven’t really talked that much outside the set. I wanna be honest with you, Elijah. I’m glad we’re all currently on different sets again. I enjoy this alone time with you.”

Elijah approached him slowly and with a small smile. “I understand. Really, I do. But you must understand why I spend most of my time with Dom. And Billy, since those two are often inseparable,” he added in amusement.

“I know, I know,” Sean looked up again and smiled. “I’m sorry. I sound like a clinging baby. Of course, I understand. You’re not the only one who’s in love.”

Elijah’s smile grew wider and he pushed the CD into Sean’s hand. “I figured.”

Sean studied the strange CD cover. “Ween? Never heard.” No surprise there. He hardly knew any of the bands Elijah sometimes mentioned.

“An alternative rock band from Pennsylvania. Incredible use of drum machines, pitch-tweaked guitars and an awesome drug-laced humor. Really druggy and bizarre.”

“The Pod,” Sean read the title. “Yeah, sounds like it.”

Elijah laughed, his attention already back on the shelves. “It’s named after the apartment that Gene and Dean Ween shared and in which the songs were recorded. Oh, do you like Brit Pop?”

“Brit Pop as in Oasis?”

Elijah grinned to himself. “Oasis aren’t the only band known for Brit Pop, but yeah. Not bad for someone who allegedly has no clue about music.”

“I finally said something right?” Sean’s eyes widened in exaggerated amazement. “Wow, I’m so proud of myself.”

He took two albums from Elijah and studied them. “Travis, Travis…rings a bell somewhere.”

“’Why Does It Always Rain On Me’, you probably know that one. Billy actually mentioned them to me once. They’re from Glasgow and rather indie rock and pop. Their first album is rockier and more upbeat than the second. They’re really good.”

Sean followed Elijah to another section. “Oh, here,” Elijah stopped abruptly and Sean almost bumped into his back. A Smashing Pumpkins album wandered into his hands. “Give them a second chance. Please,” Elijah smiled his sweetest smile.

“Who could resist that face?” Sean chuckled. “It’s not that I don’t like them. But you played them so many times in the feet trailer when all I wanted to do was read one of the 37 books that I brought with me to New Zealand.”

“Sorry,” Elijah grinned. “But, you know, it’s the best morning ritual. Listening to loud music, getting into a good mood.”

“I guess so.”

More and more CDs ended up in Sean’s hands, some actually sounding familiar, such as Björk, Radiohead or Massive Attack, some less familiar, like The Flaming Lips or Liquid Soul. Elijah was able to describe the sound of each and every band, singer and album, though Sean could not quite imagine what Trip Hop, Psychedelic Rock, Acid Jazz or Baroque Pop was supposed to sound like. But he would find out soon.

“Thanks, Lij,” Sean said when they left the store again after an hour, each of them carrying plastic bags with new purchases. “That was a pretty interesting lesson.”

“I expect you to tell me what you think, that goes without saying,” Elijah smiled.

As they were just about to turn into the direction they had come from, a group of four young, excited girls approached them, asking for autographs. Apparently they had waited in front of the store the entire time for Elijah and Sean to come out again. They were especially clinging to Elijah, which Sean could understand of course. And Elijah, generous and kind as always, took his time.

“Have you ever thought about how disappointed all the girls would be, if they knew about you?” Sean asked when he had finally managed to drag Elijah out of their circle.

Pulling his pack of cloves out of his jeans pocket, Elijah glanced at him as they walked. “Disappointed? I think they would find it hot,” he giggled, sticking a clove between his lips.

“That’s what Dom thinks they would say, huh?” Sean laughed.

“That’s what both of us think,” Elijah winked.

“Anyway, thanks for today. It was great,” Sean smiled.

“Next time you can introduce me to some nice books.”

“Oh, I will.”

Sean regretted that their ways would part now. Elijah was going to meet up with Dominic who was back in town, and Sean had promised Christine and Alexandra to go to the park with them. Still he felt nothing but joy. Today had been a great day, an important day, for both of them. For the first time in weeks Sean felt closer to Elijah, like nothing had ever stood between them. He would be forever grateful that Elijah had given him a second chance. They had started all over and Sean would never let anything ruin that again.

 


	43. Chapter 43

It was chilly in his bedroom and the slipped sheets didn’t really help to keep his body warm as Dominic opened his eyes. His sleep-fogged mind at first couldn’t identify the sound he heard, but then he realized what it was. Rain drops against the window. Coldness and rain, not a mixture that could lure him out of bed. But luckily he didn’t have to leave the bed today. It was Sunday, one of the rare Sundays he had off. Glancing at the alarm clock radio on the bedside table, he saw that it was almost noon. When he turned his head to the other side, his gaze fell on something much more beautiful. He reached out and gently touched Elijah’s warm cheek. Elijah was lying on his stomach sound asleep and the sheets had slipped down far enough to reveal his flawless, bare buttocks. Dominic grabbed the blanket and pulled it back up, his eyes never leaving Elijah’s peaceful face. He inwardly thanked Peter for not requiring Elijah to be on set today either. A perfect, lazy Sunday.

They had been out with Sean and Ian and their producers Rick Porras and Barrie Osborne yesterday, attending a big rugby match at the Westpac Stadium in Wellington, the same stadium that had hosted the Military Tattoo Festival. Dominic wondered if he would ever see a proper football match at that venue. He hadn’t expected to enjoy a rugby match that much, even though it didn’t even come close to football of course. How dare the Americans take that word and use it for their weird American football sports anyway? Elijah had not been able to explain it to him. He was not really interested in this kind of sports, though Dominic had gotten him rather interested in European football. Or soccer, as they called it in America. So, now New Zealand’s rugby team had played against Australia for the Bledisloe Cup, a contest that had been played irregularly every few years before the 1980s, but since then it had been an annual event. Even though New Zealand had lost for the third time in a row, they had had a great time. Sean got reintegrated into their small group slowly but surely, something Dominic hadn’t thought would be possible anymore. Elijah had told Dominic about his talk with Sean and about his intention to take a few steps towards him and so far it seemed to be working. Dominic wasn’t quite sure if Sean had used his family as an excuse to deliberately stay away from the others. Maybe he still had a bad conscience? But it didn’t matter anymore. Elijah was growing closer to Sean again and that was the most important thing. It was important to Elijah, so it was important to Dominic as well. But Dominic would be lying if he claimed that building a tight friendship with Sean was as important to him as his already intense friendship with Billy and Orlando. He knew that would never happen anyway. Sean could be funny, entertaining and laid back if he wanted to be, but he and Dominic were simply too different to become best friends forever. Dominic would stay in touch with Billy, Orlando or even Viggo for the rest of his life, he knew that for sure.

The steady rain against the window reminded Dominic of his full bladder that he had almost not been aware of as he brushed his slender fingers over Elijah’s cheek. So he had to leave the bed after all. Carefully slipping off the mattress in order not to wake Elijah up, Dominic put his feet on the floor, the cool air engulfing his nude body. His beloved grey sweatpants were lying across a chair in the corner and he put them on before pulling the curtains in front of the window aside. Despite it being lunchtime, it was still rather dim outside. Large, dark clouds were hovering in the sky and rain drops were sliding down the glass. The window was open a crack. He could sleep better if it was open. He needed the fresh air, even in winter. Elijah preferred the window being closed, but he had no trouble falling asleep. Not when Dominic was lying beside him.

Closing the window and turning back around, Dominic looked at Elijah who was still asleep. He smiled. They hadn’t been back at Dominic’s place that late. They had spent a quiet evening and fallen asleep after making love.

His bladder reclaimed his attention and Dominic strolled out of the bedroom and into his bathroom. Then he stood in the middle of the living-room, wondering what to do. Climb back into the warm bed and snuggle up to the beautiful man who was lying there or make breakfast. He decided that breakfast would be better. Elijah would be starving, as always when he woke up, and Dominic loved spoiling him. Elijah would often make fun of that fact, but Dominic couldn’t help it. And there was nothing wrong with spoiling the person you loved. He glanced at the front-door and moved over to it, taking a key from the keyboard right next to it. Opening the door, he looked ahead for a moment, watching the rain which was getting heavier. It was pouring now and a few puddles had built on the path from the front door to the street. Dominic was glad that his letter box was right beside his door underneath a small roof. He put the key into the lock and opened it, his eyes widening. A small package was inside. As he pulled it out and looked at the sender, a smile spread across his face. It came from England. Something hard was in it, he could already feel it. He shut the letter box again and went back into the house, closing the door behind him. Leaving the key on the small table by the door, he ripped the package open. Two video tapes as well as a folded piece of paper ended up in his hands and he frowned for a moment before it dawned on him. He read his mother’s neat handwriting on the paper and his grin grew even bigger.

“At bloody last,” Dominic muttered to himself, looking from the paper to the tapes. Putting the cassettes on the living-room table, he peeked into the bedroom. Elijah had turned around and was now lying on his back, one arm above his head. His eyes fluttered open, as if he sensed Dominic’s presence. 

“I don’t wanna go to school today,” Elijah mumbled with a sleepy grin and shifted to lie on his side. “The weather sucks.”

“I love it,” Dominic smiled, leaving his spot by the door and approaching the bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned down, placing a kiss on the cheek he had caressed earlier. “Makes it even comfier to be inside…and stay in bed all day…”

“Wasn’t exactly planning on leaving this spot anyway,” Elijah moved his hand down Dominic’s arm to his hand and stopped as he felt the piece of paper that Dominic was still holding. “What’s that?”

Dominic blinked. He had actually momentarily forgotten about the package and the video tapes at the sight of a just woken up and so endearing Elijah.

“Oh, something awesome. My parents sent me something that might interest you.”

“What?” Elijah smiled up at him. “Cute baby photos of you?”

“Mmm…almost,” Dominic chuckled. “Remember that TV series I was filming when I got the Lord of the Rings call from my agent? Monsigneur Renard, the one I had to shave my head for?”

“Yeah,” Elijah nodded. “Of course. You visited me when you came back after you finished it. I thought I could never do something like that.”

“And I said you can,” Dominic smiled. “Anyway, it aired in England in March and April and my parents taped it for me. Or Matt did, mum and dad still don’t know how to operate a video recorder.”

“Hey, that’s awesome!” Elijah sat up in bed and beamed. “I was so curious to see that one. It sounds really interesting. You’re playing a soldier with that shaved head?”

Dominic chewed on his bottom lip. He had never told Elijah what role he exactly had in that series and now that he was thinking about his very last scene, he wondered if he should spoil Elijah in advance. No, better not.

“Uhm, why don’t you just sit back, wait and see,” he said mysteriously, making Elijah grin even more.

“Okay, now you got me even more curious. I thought you’re playing either a British or a German soldier. But we still gotta finish Hetty,” he trailed off, like he was thinking about something and then the bright grin was back. “Hey, season 4. We only have season 4 left and you said something interesting happens there.”

Dominic laughed at Elijah’s adorable enthusiasm. That certain three seconds scene would certainly be a surprise for him. “Right. We haven’t really gotten around to watching a lot lately, have we?”

“Or would you rather play some video games? We could ask Billy to come over,” Elijah suggested, leaning back on his hands. 

“No, I’m really in a watching mood,” Dominic folded the piece of paper again and fumbled with it. “Just watching my early acting stuff with you makes me feel…I don’t know…a little uncomfy?” he formed a small smile.

Elijah giggled and leaned forward, crossing his legs. “Oh, shut up. You don’t have to be embarrassed. I told you, you were great.”

“I know, I know,” Dominic smiled. “But don’t you ever feel weird when you’re watching your own movies?”

“Only the bad ones,” Elijah joked. “I hardly ever watch my own movies. But when I’m watching one of my kid movies, it’s like watching another person. You know, I almost forget that it’s me in that movie.”

“Hmmm…must be cool to be able to see yourself grow up on film. It’s like your entire childhood is documented,” Dominic said pensively.

Weaving his fingers through his bed tousled hair, Elijah chuckled and nodded. “It is. Like the Little House on the Prairie kids. Must be even cooler for them. Melissa Gilbert played the same role from age 10 to 20 or something.”

Dominic raised his eyebrows before bursting into laughter. “Little House? You used to watch Little House? Awww, just when I thought you couldn’t get any more adorable.”

“Hey, every little girl in America and I bet all over the world grew up with that show,” Elijah tried to defend himself. “Hannah was no different. In fact, she got me into a lot of girly stuff,” he mused not quite seriously. 

“No need for explanations,” Dominic ruffled Elijah’s already disheveled hair and then found a silky strand to play with. “It’s a great show. Even watched a few episodes myself.”

“You won’t believe how many people think I was on that show,” Elijah rolled his eyes playfully. “Not every kid actor was on Little House. I was just two years old when it ended.”

“You could have played Laura’s baby girl,” Dominic grinned, letting go of the hair strand and tracing Elijah’s cheek with his finger instead. “All newborns look the same anyway.”

Elijah cocked his head a little, enjoying the soft touch. “Too late now. Well, wanna have breakfast and throw in season 4?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Dominic’s voice got quieter as he leaned in and pressed his lips against Elijah’s. Elijah immediately sank into the kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around Dominic’s neck and uncrossing his legs to press his naked body up against Dominic’s. He felt himself getting lifted off the bed as Dominic brought his arms around him and picked him up. Smiling against Dominic’s lips, Elijah kept his legs stuck up in the air for a moment while Dominic swirled him around slowly and then he set his feet down on the floor. Their mouths didn’t part yet for another few moments, but when Elijah’s stomach grumbled quietly, Dominic chuckled and pulled away.

“I knew it. Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”

“I’m gonna slip into something comfortable,” Elijah grinned and kissed him once more before letting go of Dominic’s neck.

“Hmm…I don’t know…this looks comfortable enough to me,” Dominic gave Elijah’s bare butt a light slap and smirked mischievously.

Elijah laughed and grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. “No piece of this for you right now,” he said before heading into the bathroom.

Dominic covered his upper body with a t-shirt and turned the central heating in the living-room on. All the other windows had been closed during the night, but still it was rather cool in the house. Then he went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast, whistling to himself. He put some toast into the toaster and made a pot of coffee. He couldn’t help but grin as he thought about Elijah and his eagerness to watch all of Dominic’s earlier acting work. Dominic didn’t like watching himself on screen. He always noticed mistakes and things he could have done better. Elijah’s talent surpassed his by miles, but Dominic kept learning every day. Gaining acting experience day by day for more than a year on an incomparable movie set was something he had never even dared dream about. He found himself painful to watch in the early Hetty episodes, but even back then he had felt like he was slowly getting better. And whenever he was watching himself as Merry on the monitor after they shot a scene, he thought he was definitely on the right track, but yet nowhere near where he wanted to be. He tried not to be so grim and to just do his best. There was not much more he could do. Not getting the role of Frodo was not something he regretted anymore. He knew he never could have pulled that one off. Elijah was perfect. It was the role of his life. It would make him immortal. And Dominic? Where would he end up after Lord of the Rings? Right beside Elijah, he hoped, as he once again tried to picture his future. He would do what he loved doing and be with the man he loved. Elijah would be in the foreground of course, but that didn’t mean that Dominic would remain unnoticed. Would he get the chance to show people what he was capable of after these movies? Shaking his head, he refused to let these thoughts take over his mind again.

He took a tray and placed slices of toast, rolls, jam, knives, cups and the coffee pot on it. Then he carried it into the living-room and put it down on the table. Elijah was just coming out of the bathroom. He had replaced his glasses with contacts and was wearing blue plaid pajama pants as well as his Ramones shirt. Half of his stuff must already be part of Dominic’s household. Sometimes he didn’t even know what items were here or over at his own house. He felt at home at both places by now.

“Ah, good old video tapes,” he said as he looked at the tapes on the table. “Good that you have a recorder to play them with.”

“Yeah,” Dominic smiled, picking the cassettes up and putting them on the coffee table, so that he could spread the breakfast on the big table. “Better to be prepared.”

Elijah knelt down in front of the TV set and rummaged around in the small cabinet, searching for the discs. He found one that read season 4 rather quickly and shoved it into the DVD player.

Dominic gazed at him with a grin. “You know, we could start renting movies again once we’re finished with this.”

“But we’re not finished yet,” Elijah got up and grabbed the coffee pot to fill the cups. “Just six more episodes,” he smiled.

“Hmm, but there are so many movies I have yet to see,” Dominic lowered himself on the couch. “Notting Hill, for example.”

Elijah looked up from the hot black liquid he had just poured into his cup and stared at Dominic as if he had gone completely crazy. “What? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Leaning back with an amused look, Dominic shrugged. “Hey, why not?”

“Two words. Julia Roberts,” Elijah said and placed the coffee pot back down on the table.

“But think about it. A simple bloke from England falls in love with an American movie-star. Hmmm…where have I heard that one before?” Dominic tapped a finger against his lips and laughed at Elijah’s expression.

“If I were that famous, I would kill myself,” Elijah flopped down beside Dominic, pulling his legs up on the sofa and leaning over to kiss Dominic who happily returned it. Elijah’s hair was not standing up into different directions anymore, but when Dominic ran his fingers through it, it got a little more tousled. Dominic loved this kitty look. Elijah didn’t just have the softest skin he had ever touched, he also had the softest hair. In fact, everything about him was.

“Mmm…,” Dominic groaned and broke the kiss before it could get more heated. “Breakfast first. Your lovely stomach sounded like it needs it.”

Elijah brushed his fingers against Dominic’s clean shaven chin as he gazed into his mesmerizing eyes. The rain still hadn’t subsided. It was pouring against the windows, creating an even cozier atmosphere inside the house. Elijah kept his legs drawn up and reached for his cup.

“Yeah. We better start, huh?” he said, and Dominic swore he saw a light blush on Elijah’s face.

Grinning to himself, Dominic took the remote control and switched on the TV. Elijah could blush over everything, even a kiss with his own boyfriend that could very easily lead to more. He wrapped his free arm around Elijah’s shoulders as Elijah leaned his body against his. The episode began with the same old melody that would certainly be stuck in Dominic’s head for the rest of the day. It was that particular episode, the one that had gotten Elijah all curious about season 4, but Elijah didn’t know that. Dominic still remembered when the scene would come and he struggled to suppress a smirk. Though he didn’t have to. Elijah’s eyes were glued to the screen. And then it was there. Just a few seconds, but a few seconds that almost made Elijah’s eyeballs fall out of his head. Geoffrey standing in the shower after he was down in the mine, wet, naked and his backside turned to the camera. Dominic glanced at Elijah who was staring at the TV with wide eyes. Then it was over. Elijah blinked once and then he started laughing.

“Holy shit!” he turned to Dominic. “That’s gotta be the most gratuitous nude scene ever.”

“What?” Dominic feigned a shocked expression. “You don’t think Geoffrey naked in the shower is a necessary scene and makes perfect sense?”

“No, but…,” Elijah cocked his head lightly. “It sure is fucking sexy…”

“A little sex on a show can never be wrong, hmm?” Dominic winked and grabbed a slice of toast.

“Best scene so far,” Elijah purred, putting his cup back on the table and placing his now free hand on Dominic’s belly. “You came up with that, didn’t you? Admit it.”

“No, I swear,” Dominic laughed and took a bite of the toast. Elijah took it out of his hand and bit into it. 

“Liar,” he grinned while he was chewing, looking back at the screen with amused, sparkling eyes.

“I’m not that bad. Thief!” Dominic reached for the toast, but Elijah held it up above his head.

“Say please.”

Dominic giggled and removed his arm from around Elijah’s shoulders, so he could turn around to him completely and gently push Elijah down onto his back. “Please. Pretty pretty please, you most generous of humans…”

“Oh, I love it when you’re begging,” Elijah stuck the remaining half of the toast in between Dominic’s teeth, and Dominic grabbed it and bit off only a tiny piece that he swallowed down quickly. He was now kneeling, his knees on either side of Elijah’s hips, and then he leaned down to capture Elijah’s smiling lips with his own. Dropping the rest of the toast blindly on the table, he pressed his mouth more firmly against Elijah’s and sighed quietly as he felt Elijah’s tongue invade his mouth. The kiss went on for a long moment until gradually Elijah heard faint voices. It took him a few seconds to realize that they were coming from the TV.

“You distracted me. Now I missed everything,” he complained mildly and glanced at the screen.

Dominic laughed gently. “You’re the one who started.”

“Just wanted to lure you into a horizontal position,” Elijah smirked up at him. “Be kind, rewind.”

“Minx,” Dominic grabbed the remote control and pushed the rewind button. Then he shifted to lie on his back, so Elijah came to lie between Dominic’s body and the backrest of the couch. Elijah cuddled up against him and reached over to the table to pick up another slice of toast that was covered with jam.

“I should have kept the shirt off,” Dominic chuckled, watching Elijah bite into the bread carefully to avoid making a mess.

“Don’t worry, I’m an expert at this,” Elijah assured him and indeed, as they continued watching the episode, he managed to eat without spilling anything on Dominic’s clad chest. So did Dominic, without spilling anything. 

When the episode was over, Elijah took control of the remote and switched to the normal TV program which was anything but exciting on this Sunday afternoon. He lazily dropped the item again and rested his head on Dominic’s chest. He could hear the steady heartbeat and feel the gentle rise and fall as Dominic breathed. Their legs were intertwined and Dominic’s fingers moved slowly up and down Elijah’s back. The serenity of it all almost made him fall asleep.

“What is it, Dom?”

The sudden question made Dominic frown and he turned his eyes away from the TV screen to Elijah who had raised his head again and looked down at him.

“What? What do you mean?”

“Something’s bothering you, isn’t it?” It was more a statement than a question and Elijah’s lips formed a small smile as he gazed into Dominic’s confused face. “Something’s on your mind.”

Dominic narrowed his eyes, recalling what he had thought about earlier in the kitchen. It hadn’t been the first time he had thought about it. Had he been particularly broody lately? Probably, otherwise Elijah wouldn’t have noticed anything and brought it up out of the blue. Which he obviously had. Like Dominic had noticed that something had been heavily bothering Elijah when they had met for the first time. Were they really able to read each other so well?

“It’s ridiculous. You’ll laugh at me,” Dominic shook his head. Since Elijah’s face was hovering right above his, it was impossible to cast his eyes down to avoid the inquiring blue eyes. Dominic was drawn to them, as always.

“I knew it,” Elijah smiled, glad that his instincts had not betrayed him. He had not missed the broodiness that had sometimes seized Dominic since they had come back to New Zealand after the filming break. He had meant to talk to him sooner, but he had never quite known how. He knew from his own experience that bottling it up did not help, on the contrary. He would be there for Dominic, as Dominic had always been there for him. “Please, tell me,” he gently urged him.

Dominic looked at him before emitting a humorless chuckle. “God, I’m turning into Sean.”

“What?” Elijah frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t wanna seem like an ungrateful wanker, Lij,” Dominic sighed and moved his free hand up to his head, burying his fingers in his hair. “But…gah…I feel so melancholy sometimes and I hate myself for it…”

“Why?” Elijah asked calmly, though deep inside he started to become worried. “Come on, usually I’m the one who needs to be urged to talk.”

Dominic snickered quietly at that. It was certainly true. “I just can’t help but think about what might happen in the future, you know,” he began. “When the movies come out.”

“You…you mean, between you and me?” The building concern was now audible in Elijah’s voice and he swallowed, but Dominic quickly calmed him down.

“No no no, not between you and me,” he reassured him rapidly. “I mean, acting wise. Career wise.”

“Oh,” Elijah mentally slapped himself. How could he even think that Dominic might have gotten overcome by sudden doubts about them? “Well, what do you think will happen?”

Dominic pondered, pulling at his own hair, a little frustrated with himself. He looked directly into Elijah’s compassionate eyes and the words began to flow. “You know, when we arrived at that Hollywood Ball in Queenstown, it was the same procedure as every time we’re around the press. Everyone’s all over you, wants to interview you and throws questions at you, and I understand that. Really, I do. You’re a star, everyone knows you already. You’re Frodo. And Orlando is not famous yet, but he will be every girl’s wet dream once they know who he is. Whereas me…I don’t know…I don’t wanna stay behind, you know what I mean? I’m basically unimportant. I’m just one of the other hobbits. No one knows me. And I wonder how that’s gonna change and if it will change after the movies.”

He stopped, his own words echoing in his head. God, he did sound frighteningly like Sean and he didn’t want to. In fact, he sounded downright pathetic. He looked up at Elijah who had been listening attentively. Who was now chewing on his beautiful, plump bottom lip. And who then started to smile.

“Dom…,” he said softly, still smiling. “Why are you worrying so fucking much? That was always my problem. You don’t sound like Sean, you sound like I did back then.”

Dominic chuckled silently, relieved that he hadn’t lost Elijah’s respect after this miserable rant. “Yeah. Like I said, I hate myself for that.”

“Okay, listen to me,” Elijah said, emphasizing every word. “First of all, I’m not saying this because I’m biased. I’m saying this because it’s the truth. You’ve got a mighty talent, Dom. You’re a great actor and you’re getting better and better. And do you seriously think Lord of the Rings won’t bring your name out there? It’ll bring all of us out there, me as well. I’m still not as big a star as you make me out to be. And see it like this: it certainly won’t harm your career. You’re not just one of the other hobbits. You’re part of the Fellowship. Of course people will know who you are after the movies.”

Dominic sighed deeply, knowing that Elijah was perfectly right. And it made him feel even more pathetic. “I know…I know. Fuck…I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. I have these ego issues sometimes, I don’t know why.”

“I know why,” Elijah said. “This is the first big thing you’ve been in. It’s the biggest thing I’ve ever been in as well, don’t forget that. And you’ve got so many expectations because this is what you always wanted. And you’re scared it might not take you where you want to be. You’re a passionate actor and of course you want people to see your passion and you want to continue doing this.”

Dominic stopped pulling at his hair and released his strands. He nodded. “That sounds logical and true.”

Elijah smiled and shifted to lie on top of Dominic’s body. He gazed down at him, his fingers stroking the skin of Dominic’s cheeks. “Stop thinking about what might and might not be. This is not like you. You normally slap Sean’s head whenever he throws a whiny fit. Why are you even worrying? This trilogy is gonna be bigger than Star Wars! You've done TV stuff before, now you’re in this. And you’re seriously worried about your career?”

Shaking his head, Dominic couldn’t help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of it all. Every word was like a punch into his face, a punch that told him to get a fucking grip. How could he have been so stupid? “I told you, you’ll laugh at me.”

“Well, I won’t. That’s another thing you can be sure of,” Elijah said and closed the space between them as he placed a kiss on Dominic’s mouth. Dominic briefly closed his eyes and then opened them again when Elijah’s lips left his. He cupped the back of Elijah’s head and tangled his fingers in the soft hair.

“I love you, Elijah. Really, you’re the most important thing to me. Not my career. I know it sounded like my career is all I’m thinking about, but it’s not.”

“You don’t need to explain this to me, Dom. I understand,” Elijah said softly. “It’s only natural that you think about your career as well and where it might lead to one day. But it can only get better, not worse.”

“I wanna be with you, Lij. I wanna stay with you,” Dominic said in a longing tone. “No matter what happens.”

Elijah moved his thumb over Dominic’s chin in a caressing motion, his eyes fixed on Dominic’s. He felt a sudden wave flow over him that made him feel warm all over. His voice was quiet and full of emotions when he spoke again.

“Would you come with me, Dom? Come to live with me in LA?”

Dominic smiled. He could hardly speak. He had thought about this before. There was no way he would go back to England all by himself. How could he? Elijah was in Los Angeles. And Hollywood was there. The most important person in his life as well as the possibility to star in more significant movies. Could there be a better place in this world?

“Of course. Of course, baby,” he whispered. He pulled Elijah’s face down for a deep kiss and then flipped him over on his back. Outside the rain was decreasing. The sun would still come out today.


	44. Chapter 44

Dominic couldn’t have been in a better mood as he made his way to the feet trailer, even though it was early in the morning. Morning was not quite right. It was still nighttime, almost half past four. The usual hobbit feet time. He grinned to himself, hoping that today was one of the days when the hobbit feet were indeed photographed. On some days they would have their fake feet without them even being filmed. Standing for two hours for nothing. Still without their feet they wouldn’t be complete hobbits, so it was always worth it. Sean had started taking notes for fun, counting every day their feet weren’t photographed. If the number exceeded 100, they would sue Peter, they had joked. It was the middle of August, the last winter month in New Zealand. Dominic couldn’t wait for spring to come. And then summer. Sure Elijah and he would find time to go back to Te Anau, even if it was just for a day or two. He smiled at the thought. Elijah had rented that cottage for the entire period of principal photography. And he refused to tell Dominic how expensive it had been. The reason was always the same. It had been Dominic’s birthday present and you never said how expensive a present was. Or maybe it hadn’t cost that much as Elijah was famous and celebrities often got things for free. Or at least for less money than the average person.

“Hey Dom! Wait a second!” Orlando’s shouting voice made Dominic stop walking and turn around.

“Oh, the sun is rising. Morning, Orli,” he grinned at Orlando who hurried over to him. Like Dominic, he had just got up and still looked tired as hell.

“Morning. About our tattoo idea, I think we should sit down soon and make some plans. At least some brainstorming. I’ve got a few ideas already,” Orlando said eagerly.

Dominic frowned. “I thought we wanted to wait until filming is over. So we won’t regret it, if we all hate each other in the end.”

“Oh come on, you know that won’t happen,” Orlando insisted and Dominic once again noticed how much he reminded him of a little kid sometimes. Even more now when he was trying to get what he wanted. “And if the movie is a flop, what does it matter? We’ll still be mates, right?”

“Right,” Dominic said. “I've had a few ideas as well, I must say, and I would love to do it. I’ll ask the other hobbits.”

“Awesome,” Orlando beamed, patting Dominic’s shoulder. “Have to go, see you!”

“Have fun!” Dominic yelled after him before proceeding his way to the trailer, moving a little faster now. There was a reason for his great mood at this time of day. Climbing the steps to the door, he opened it and stepped into the trailer.

“Morning!” he shouted in his cheeriest voice and shut the door. Sean was sitting closest to him with a plastic coffee cup in one hand and a book in the other which he nearly dropped at the sudden loud shout. His make-up girl was busy with his hair. Next to him, Billy was grinning at Dominic from his chair. At the far side of the trailer, Elijah was standing by the stereo system and flipping through his CD case.

“Morning,” they said back in unison. Elijah smiled at him and Dominic regretted that it couldn’t just be the four of them in the trailer. The rest of the make-up crew was rummaging around in various areas of the room.

Dominic briefly patted Billy’s back before approaching Elijah. “I’ve got awesome news,” he grinned from ear to ear and he had to remind himself not to greet Elijah in a manner that was too suggestive. Instead he gave him an innocent, friendly hug.

“Did they call you back?” Elijah’s eyes grew bigger than usual as he asked the question.

Dominic nodded. “Yeah. We can deejay tomorrow night.”

“Fucking awesome!” Elijah threw his arms around Dominic’s neck and embraced him tight, not caring about suggestiveness or not. But the make-up girls just looked up and smiled wordlessly at whatever had made Elijah so joyous. A couple of days before, he and Dominic got the idea that they could actively join the entertainment part of one of their favorite spots in Wellington. The “Matterhorn” had become their regular local drinking venue and sometimes local as well as international DJs played their music hit lists there. Usually Dominic, Elijah, Billy and Orlando would hit the bar in order to down a few drinks, or a few drinks more, listen to some music or sometimes chat with the locals. It had been Elijah who had suggested to Dominic that they could try out their own DJ skills, so Dominic had contacted the owners and of course he had been successful. And why wouldn’t he have been? They were a part of the Lord of the Rings cast, but they had mingled with the locals from the very beginning on, so they had never been the untouchable movie-stars. Or future movie-stars.

“Count me in, you two!” Billy shouted over to them. “Wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

“Wouldn’t be fun without you,” Dominic grinned at him and reluctantly left his spot by Elijah to take a seat in his make-up chair.

“Coming too, Sean?” Elijah asked and inwardly sighed when Sean shook his head.

“Sorry, I can’t. Ali isn’t feeling well and I don’t wanna leave Christine alone with her.”

The happy expression on Elijah’s face turned into concern. “Oh no. Nothing serious, I hope.”

“She had a stomach ache. I don’t think it’ll turn into anything more serious, but just in case, you know,” Sean said and tried not to look too remorseful. He would have loved to join the others, but until now all he had managed was having lunch or occasionally dinner with them. No wild nights out in town. He wanted to, he had complained to Elijah about his outsider feeling after all, but at the same time he did not want to. He knew he could not hold his liquor, he was worse than Orlando in this respect, and he didn’t like losing control over himself. The others didn’t care, but he did. He couldn’t switch that off.

“Tell her that her uncles will visit her, that should help her get well instantly,” Dominic told him with a grin.

“What would she do without her favorite adopted uncles?” Sean chuckled and opened the book that he had been reading.

“Alright then,” Elijah turned to the stereo system and opened the CD player, putting a disc into it. “I’ve been practicing my DJ skills for months now, can’t be so difficult. Some music to wake you up.”

He pushed the play button and the loud beats of Joy Division blared out of the boxes. A disapproving yell and a loud banging sound came from the room next door the four hobbits burst into laughter. Elijah immediately turned down the volume.

“Sir Ian is not amused,” Dominic remarked and Elijah bit on his bottom lip with a mixture of amusement and awkwardness.

“I keep forgetting that he’s just a wall away.”

“Tomorrow you can live it up,” Billy said. “Will you accept music wishes?”

“Maybe,” Elijah smirked and sat down. He could hardly wait.

 

~**~

 

Billy thanked the bartender and turned around, holding a cocktail in his hand. He took a sip and emitted a satisfied sound. This bar in Cuba Mall had soon become their favorite spot to hang out at. In fact, Cuba Mall and Cuba Street in general were great hot spots where you could find practically everything. With its clothing, book and record stores as well as bars, pubs and cafes, and of course the infamous bucket fountain, it was a local attraction in itself.

Billy grinned as he watched his two friends behind the turntables. Elijah was holding a pair of headphones to his ear while Dominic was flipping through a pile of CDs. Even though he was an avid music lover and occasionally liked making music himself, Billy didn’t know what song was currently playing, let alone the name of the band. But that didn’t surprise him. Elijah owned albums of the obscurest musicians and he didn’t just own them, he had them all saved in his head as well. Since coming to New Zealand his already huge collection had grown immensely.

Taking another mouthful of his drink, Billy moved over to Dominic and Elijah. The bar was pretty crowded on this Friday night and from time to time people would approach them and ask for photos or start some small-talk. But it was never intruding. It was more like a meeting among acquaintances.

“I must say, you make a good-looking DJ team,” he said.

Dominic looked up from the CDs and glanced at Elijah with a grin. “At least one half of the team is good-looking.”

“Oh, stop it already,” Elijah protested gently and turned to Billy. “Could you please tell him to stop this? He won’t listen to me.”

Cocking his head and raising his eyebrows, Billy looked at him confused. “Why would I do that? It’s so cute.”

Elijah playfully rolled his eyes before joining their laughter. The song came to an end and he knowledgeably fumbled with the turntables until a new song started to play. “This is so fucking awesome. I think I’ll change my profession.”

“We could tour America and play the coolest clubs,” Dominic suggested, not sounding at all like he was joking. “And you could play live music,” he said to Billy and picked up his beer bottle, taking a big gulp. It was true that Billy was a very talented musician. He even wrote the tune for a song he would sing in Return of the King.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Billy mused, absentmindedly shaking his cocktail glass a little. “Don’t wanna be the third wheel,” he said lightheartedly.

“Aww shut up,” Dominic put his free arm around Billy’s shoulder and grinned at him. “We’re the three Hobbiteers, we belong together.”

“Does that mean threesomes from now on?” Elijah’s question made them turn to him and Elijah suddenly realized that he maybe should have lowered his voice. A few people kept glancing at him, but they were too far away to be able to eavesdrop. His joke could have been easily misunderstood. Dominic and Billy laughed.

“No thanks,” Billy giggled, nudging Dominic’s side. “As much as I love you, but…no…”

“You sure?” Elijah wriggled his eyebrows seductively.

“Yes, sorry,” Billy raised his glass and swallowed some more of the drink. He loved how Elijah’s sense of humor had changed since he had become friends with Dominic and him. Billy remembered all too well how he and Dominic, as well as Orlando sometimes, used to torture Elijah with the most hilarious elements of the exquisite British humor that Elijah just didn’t understand. But gradually he had grown accustomed to it and even adapted some of it. Black humor, absurd jokes, sexual suggestions, all in good-natured fun. Now Orlando was most often the victim of jokes that the hobbits pulled. Still in a good-natured manner of course.

“Isn’t it awesome that they lowered the drinking age?” Elijah asked as he took the beer bottle from Dominic and took a sip of the delicious, cold fluid. “I bet they did that just because of me.”

“Your furious letters to the government were successful,” Dominic joked. “Finally we don’t have to supply you anymore.”

In fact, the drinking age had been lowered from 20 to 18 in December 1999, much to Elijah’s delight. Before that date, they had been out and drinking as well and not taken the law so seriously. Sometimes they had managed to enter pubs and gets drinks, like in the night of the fountain incident, and sometimes they hadn’t. They would just buy their beer in stores and drink at home. And since December they had no restrictions anymore. Elijah enjoyed this privilege. Back in the United States he would have to wait until he was 21.

“You sent furious letters to the government?” Billy frowned.

“Just kidding, Billy,” Dominic laughed. “Ha, gotcha!”

“Actually I sent furious letters to the Queen herself,” Elijah snorted, taking another sip and handing the bottle back to Dominic. “Hmm, doesn’t come close to the German beer, but it’s okay.”

“I really got you hooked on the German delicacies, huh?” Dominic smiled amused.

“Anything is better than whiskey,” Elijah remarked and received a glare from Billy.

“Excuse you, you clueless American,” his Scottish friend pretended to be deeply hurt.

Elijah put his headphones on the table and stretched his arms. He had been DJing for nearly two hours and hardly left his spot at the turntables. And he had hardly had anything to drink. But now he decided to call it a day and enjoy the rest of the night, dwelling in passive music pleasure.

“You wanna continue, Dom?” he asked, looking over at the bar with the countless bottles in the background. There were quite a couple of cocktails he hadn’t tried yet.

“Nah, even fucking great DJs may call it quits sooner or later. I’ll go and tell them,” Dominic said and turned around to head for the bar and let the bartender know.

Elijah reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his clove pack. He glanced at the dark drink in Billy’s glass. “What cocktail is that?” he wanted to know as he stuck a cigarette between his lips and lit it.

“Irish coffee. I’m boring, I know,” Billy snorted, holding the glass out to Elijah. “Wanna try?”

“There’s whiskey in it, isn’t it?” Elijah cringed and took a deep drag of smoke.

Billy chuckled at Elijah’s reluctance. He didn’t understand how anyone could not like the most delicious beverage in the world. “Yeah, but only Irish whiskey. Nothing like Scotch. Come on.”

Holding his clove in one hand, Elijah took the glass with the other and took a tiny sip. “Hmm.”

“See? Just give it a try. Not bad, huh?” Billy grinned and took the glass back.

“No. God, we’re all turning into a bunch of alcoholics here,” Elijah giggled, raising the clove to his lips. Music filled the room once again, this time from another CD player.

“I wish Orli had time tonight. It’s not the same without him,” Billy sighed.

“I wish Sean was here,” Elijah said quietly before he realized that he had said it out loud. Somehow it made him feel a little embarrassed. “I mean, he hardly ever joins us. It’s like he always finds some excuse.”

Billy frowned at him. “You think Ali’s illness was just an excuse?”

Elijah shifted his eyes and looked at him for a long moment before he answered. “I don’t know…”

“Hey,” Billy stepped a little closer. “He did join us a few times. Something seemed to have changed a few weeks ago.”

“Something changed indeed,” Elijah said. He hadn’t told Billy about his conversation with Sean yet and he wasn’t sure if Dominic had. “He talked to me and said he sometimes felt like an outsider, you know, since he’s got a family and isn’t as free as we are.”

“Okay,” Billy murmured. He didn’t want to scratch old wounds and mention Sean’s previous behavior and that his family certainly wasn’t the only reason for him to feel like an outsider. “Has it ever occurred to him that maybe it’s his own fault that he feels like an outsider?”

Taking another drag from his clove, Elijah sighed. “Maybe,” he said. “Forget about it. Let’s not let this ruin our night.”

“Sorry, got held up,” Dominic came back, glancing over his shoulder.

“By the bartender?” Elijah smirked as he followed Dominic’s gaze and spotted the guy behind the counter who was smiling and waving at them.

“Yeah. He’s cute, isn’t he?” Dominic turned his head around and grinned mischievously.

Elijah shook his head. “Tsts, can’t even talk to a bartender without flirting, huh?” he said teasingly and Dominic looked at him with the most innocent expression.

“What? He was asking after you.”

“Fuck off,” Elijah laughed at him.

“No really, he wanted to know all about you.”

Elijah hated that he couldn’t tell whether Dominic was taking the piss or not. Dominic noticed his confusion and giggled.

“Don’t worry, I told him that you’re taken.”

“Seriously now?” Elijah blinked and Dominic laughed.

“I’m a better actor than I thought,” he snickered and took Elijah’s clove to take a drag.

“You’re fucking impossible sometimes,” Elijah mildly slapped Dominic’s shoulder and snatched his clove back from him.

“Okay, so are we going to keep taking the piss out of each other or do something else?” Billy finished the rest of his cocktail.

Dominic put his hands into his pockets and focused Elijah with a challenging look. “Mmm, do something else. I just realized, I haven’t introduced you to one of the best German drinks yet, Lij. You up for that?”

Elijah looked at Billy with a grin. “What did I say? A bunch of alcoholics.”

“Be right back,” and with that Dominic turned around and made his way over to the bar once more.

“That might take a while,” Billy joked. “Let’s find somewhere to sit.”

They sat down in one of the darker and more secluded areas not far away from the DJ equipment that was the property of the “Matterhorn”. It didn’t take long though before Dominic returned to them and flopped down on the seat opposite of Elijah and next to Billy. In one hand he was holding a dark bottle and in the other three little shot glasses. He placed it all on the table.

Elijah stubbed his clove out in an ashtray and picked up the bottle. “What’s that?” he studied the label in the dim light of the bar.

“A famous German herb liquor. The most famous German herb liquor actually,” Dominic told him.

Elijah tried to read the name of the liquor that was written in dark letters on an orange background. Above the name was a logo which showed the head of a stag with a cross between its antlers.

“It’s called Jägermeister,” Dominic explained. “Means hunt-master or rather forest supervisor. It’s made with herbs and spices. Very delicious.”

“35 percent?” Elijah exclaimed in disbelief. “Woah, we won’t be able to make it home alive.”

“Hey, whiskey got more,” Billy shrugged and took the bottle, unscrewing the cap. He smelled the liquid.

“It’s the deer blood that’s in it. Contains most of the alcohol,” Dominic said and laughed. ”Just kidding. Just an urban legend.”

Billy grabbed one of the shot-glasses. “I really wish Orli was here now. That would be fun.”

“Poor bloke wouldn’t survive a single round,” Dominic took charge of the bottle again and filled the three glasses with the dark liquor. He picked up his glass as Elijah and Billy raised theirs.

“Cheers!” They clunk the glasses together and downed the drink in one gulp.

Elijah coughed as he placed his shot-glass back on the table. “Wow…”

Billy pulled a grimace. “Hmm…smells better than it tastes.”

“Daft Scot,” Dominic teased and looked at Elijah in anticipation.

“It’s good. Strong but good,” Elijah said.

Scratching his chin, Dominic kept gazing at him, but now in a challenging manner. “You know, I would probably ask Orli because I know he’d be on the floor after the first shot, but he’s not here and that would be way too easy anyway. So, you up for a little contest, baby?”

Elijah stared at Dominic’s smirking expression and laughed. “You only wanna do this because you know I’ll lose.”

“Oh bollocks, Lijah. Come on, I have faith in you. Billy, you’re the judge.”

“What do you need a judge for?” Billy asked amused.

“Count the shots and make sure each of us drinks the same amount.”

Elijah tapped his fingers on the table as he contemplated the challenge. Then he grinned. “Alright, Monaghan. Prepare to get your ass kicked for the first time in your life.”

Dominic grinned back at him. “If someone has to do it, I’m glad it’s you.”

“Enough with the flirting. Let’s get started,” Billy demanded, claiming the bottle and filling first Elijah’s glass and then Dominic’s. “Last one sitting wins.”

“Last one not puking wins,” Elijah said and raised his glass.

Dominic raised his as well and they downed their first shot. Elijah squeezed his eyes shut at the strong herbal taste. When he opened them again, he looked into Dominic’s self-righteous face. His competitive spirit increased. Without looking at Billy, he shoved his glass over to him. Billy poured more of the liquor into it.

“Mmm…someone’s determined to win,” Dominic grinned as Billy filled his glass. Before he had finished the sentence, Elijah had already emptied his shot-glass. Dominic swiftly swallowed his drink. “Number three, Bills,” he said, pushing his glass to his friend.

“Hey, actually this was your third shot already,” Billy remarked. “You didn’t count the one we took together.”

“Okay then, number four,” Dominic studied Elijah’s eyes, trying to see any sign of glassiness in them. But they were still as bright and blue as they could be in this light. After the next shot though, Elijah could not hide the effects anymore.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned and wiped a sweaty strand of hair away from his forehead. “This stuff should be illegal.”

Dominic laughed, stretching out his leg underneath the table and brushing it against Elijah’s lower leg. “Giving up?”

“Dream on,” Elijah grabbed the bottle and filled his glass himself. A few drops spilled onto the table as his hand was getting a little clumsy. He struggled to stay focused, but this beverage was definitely the heaviest he had ever been drinking. He filled Dominic’s glass as well and put the bottle on the table with a loud bang. They downed the shots and this time both of them had to cough.

“Shit,” Dominic muttered, placing a hand on his stomach.

“What did you drink before this? Just beer, right?” Billy asked, looking alternately at Dominic and Elijah.

“Not much,” Elijah managed to utter before he had to burp.

Meanwhile, the bartender had taken notice of their drinking contest. He was drying up a beer glass as he grinned at them from behind his counter. They were sitting in sight, but out of earshot, so he shouted over at them.

“Go Frodo!”

Elijah turned around and looked at him with wide eyes.

“See? What did I tell you?” Dominic laughed, taking the bottle and filling Elijah’s glass. Elijah turned back to him and emitted a high-pitched giggle.

“Can’t disappoint my fans, right?” he lifted the glass to his lips.

“Wait!” Dominic quickly refilled his own glass and ended up pouring too much into it, so a small puddle formed on the table. His gaze was unfocused, but he still noticed that Elijah wasn’t in a better condition. A few of the other bar guests who had approached them earlier were now watching them as well. Some even cheered them on with encouraging comments. Elijah turned around to the bartender once more and raised his now empty shot-glass up above his head.

“Thanks for the support!” he called back at the bartender who raised his thumb.

“Five shots each,” Billy said and checked the bottle. It was still more than half full and both Dominic and Elijah were drunk. No, Dominic was drunk. Elijah was pissed drunk. It was clear that he would lose this contest. Billy had known that from the start.

“Make that six,” Dominic declared.

Groaning and running a hand through his hair, Elijah leaned back. “I’m sort of…kind of…done…fuck it, make that six.”

So Billy filled their glasses one last time. Dominic downed his drink first, whereas it took Elijah almost a minute to empty his final shot.

“I won!” Dominic shouted, throwing his arms high up in the air.

“But you managed six shots each,” Billy reminded him.

Dominic looked at Elijah pitifully. “But Lijah looks like he’s about to throw up.”

“Hmm, think it’s time to call it a night?” Billy attached the cap to the bottle and stood up.

Dominic nodded and put his hands on the table before pushing himself up into a standing position. He shut his eyes as he was momentarily overcome by a wave of dizziness and then opened them again. He took the bottle and carefully made his way over to Elijah.

“Come on, Lij. Time to quit the field.”

Elijah turned to the side and got up from the seat a little too quickly. He immediately started swaying and bumped against Dominic who wrapped an arm around his waist.

“You got…the bottle?” he slurred.

“You won’t get any more tonight,” Dominic grinned. They all got ready to leave the venue and Dominic tightened his hold around Elijah, slowly leading him towards the door. Waving at the remaining guests and the bartender, he exited the bar, followed by Billy.

“Taxi?” Billy asked as they walked down Cuba Street and into the direction of the main street.

“No, I think we’ll walk for a bit. Getting into a car might not be a very good idea right now,” Dominic looked at Elijah whose face was damp and pale in the nightlights of the city. The fresh air was doing Dominic good and he took a deep breath. He was still feeling dizzy, but he handled the Jägermeister shots much better than Elijah did.

“It’s been a great night,” Billy rubbed his hands together in an attempt to warm them in the cold winter air. “We should repeat this soon.”

“You know what to do on your birthday then,” Dominic winked, wincing as Elijah nearly stumbled over his own feet.

“Billy! I won, Billy, didn’t I?” Elijah suddenly shouted and he grinned at Billy with a glassy look in his eyes.

“You did great, Lij,” Billy patted his back. “You can be very proud of yourself.”

“I am,” Elijah’s voice was still loud and the words came out in a slurring tone. “And now I’m…taking a walk…with my husband…”

Billy blinked and laughed. “When did _that_ happen?”

“I have no idea,” Dominic laughed, but despite his own drunken state he was able to notice just how very good it had sounded in his ears.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m freezing my arse off. I’ll go and grab a taxi,” Billy said and Dominic nodded.

“Sure, see you around then?”

“Yeah, you two take care, okay?” Billy gave Dominic and Elijah a hug, as well as that was possible with Elijah clinging to Dominic and still swaying, and then headed off into the night.

Dominic led Elijah slowly down the street. He knew going home by foot would be too far, but he first wanted Elijah to catch some fresh air. A group of four young men were walking towards them and Dominic realized he was still holding the bottle in his free hand. He decided to give it to them. They were extremely thankful and slapped his back in a friendly manner. His stomach did not approve and he struggled to calm it down.

“Mmm…beautiful night, Dommie…,” Elijah mumbled, his face turned up towards the sky. “Stars!”

Dominic followed his gaze and chuckled. “Baby, there are no stars. It’s much too bright in this city by night.”

“But still…a beautiful night…,” Elijah turned his face away from the view above him and looked at Dominic with now half-closed eyes. “And you’re a star…”

“Oh, I wish,” Dominic teased and laughed as he felt Elijah’s mouth on his neck and his teeth gently pressing into his skin. “Hey, little vampire. Save that for later.”

“Mmm…you’re _my_ star…,” Elijah bit gently into Dominic’s neck before kissing the spot. Then he suddenly groaned out loud. “Fuck, I’m hungry!”

“Seriously? Your stomach wants food?” Dominic grimaced at the mere thought of eating. He couldn’t imagine that either of them would be able to keep it down.

“Yeah,” Elijah stopped clinging to Dominic’s body. Instead he grabbed his hand and dragged him along in search of whatever he was searching for. “Hungry…and thirsty…and horny…”

“Oh Lijah, have mercy,” Dominic laughed, letting Elijah pull him along the sidewalk. He wiped his damp forehead with the hand that was Elijah was not clutching. And he didn’t even care about what those people who were still out and about at this time of night might think about two maniacs holding hands and running through the city. Elijah couldn’t care less either. His vision was blurry and his mind in a dizzy fog. When he was seriously drunk, he would become all hyper and overexcited about the smallest things. And then he would become tired and fall asleep. Sometimes that would happen rather soon, sometimes he managed to hang on for a couple of hours.

After a few seconds, his pace slowed down and he stopped, swaying from side to side. He felt a strong urge. It was a mixture of different urges, or feelings, actually. Hunger, thirst, lust, weariness, excitement.

“I think we could risk boarding a taxi now, huh?” Dominic leaned against a wall and looked up and down the street. The alcohol made him feel warm, but he knew it was anything but warm. And the last thing he wanted was for Elijah to catch a cold.

Elijah briefly squeezed his eyes shut, trying to clear his mind at least for a moment, so that he could see where they were and take notice of what was around them. He panted and his stomach was rebelling. He narrowed his eyes as he spotted something in the distance. An illuminated building with a sign. He couldn’t make out the letters, let alone read them. But it was clear that it was a store. And it was still open.

“Fucking awesome!” he shrieked. Dominic jerked around and frowned at him.

“Huh?”

Elijah beamed at him, like a little boy who was just about to open a Christmas present. “Be right back.”

And before Dominic could say anything, Elijah half ran, half stumbled over to the convenience store.

“Bloody hell,” Dominic muttered with a grin. He decided to remain outside and look for a taxi to take them home as quickly as possible.

Elijah almost stumbled over his own feet again as he entered the small store. The bright light was like a painful punch into the face and he blinked rapidly as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the brightness. An older man was sitting behind the cash desk, reading a magazine. He looked up when Elijah stumbled through the entrance and greeted him with a “Good evening”.

“Good evening!” Elijah replied overly enthusiastically when he was able to see again and look at the cashier.

Of course the man noticed that Elijah was anything but sober. He wasn’t the first drunk costumer stumbling into his store in the middle of the night. He watched the younger guy with an amused smile. Elijah slowly passed the shelves, trying to figure out just what he wanted. Water wouldn’t be a bad idea. Something to replace the alcohol in his blood. And food. Snacks. Fuck, he really was getting hungry. His stomach had settled down again. He walked on and then stopped. He came to stand in front of a large magazine rack. Countless faces were looking at him, various people printed on the covers, some less dressed than others. One particular urge seized him in this very moment.

“I want porn! And chocolate!” he shouted.

The cashier raised his eyebrows as he glanced at this weird young man, or rather boy as he didn’t look like he was out of his teenage years yet. And this boy now started studying the magazines in the porn section. Though he didn’t seem to be content.

“Do you only have girl porn?” Elijah asked, struggling to spot a naked male among all the bare-breasted women on the magazine covers.

“I’m afraid so,” the cashier answered, unable to wipe the amused look off his face.

“Yuck…hmm…,” Elijah left the racks and went on. But why would he need gay magazines anyway? He had the real hot stuff at home. He smirked at the thought of Dominic and decided to ease his other desire first. Chocolate and Dominic. Now wasn’t that a great combination? A combination that he was craving heavily for right now. Grabbing a few chocolate bars, as well as other snack stuff and water, he made his way over to the cash register.

“Is that all, kiddo?”

“Yep, everything else I need is at home,” Elijah slurred with a drunken grin. He managed to fumble the money out of his pocket as the cashier put all the items into a bag. “The rest is for you, sir,” he said, picking up the bag and still grinning like a madman.

“Thank you very much, have a nice evening,” the cashier smiled after him. Whoever this kid had been, he would sleep tight tonight.

Elijah hurried out of the store. Dominic was standing next to a taxi and talking to the driver. Thank God. Elijah really needed to get home.

“I’m baaack!” he exclaimed.

“Finally,” Dominic giggled and held the backdoor open for him. “Got everything?”

Elijah smirked at him. “Yep…”

Dominic joined him on the backseat and was glad when the car stopped in front of his house at last. He paid the driver and helped Elijah out of the car. During the drive Elijah had become more and more tired. His hyperactivity was fading.

“He didn’t have proper porn, only chocolate,” Elijah leaned against Dominic as they slowly walked up to the front-door.

“No proper porn?” Dominic chuckled, unlocking the door and opening it.

“Only naked girls. But I got chocolate. And you are my porn,” Elijah said quietly and in a voice which indicated that he wouldn’t manage to stay awake much longer.

“I’ll be your porn whenever you want me to be,” Dominic smiled and shut the door. Then he took Elijah’s moist face into his hands and kissed him. He hadn’t kissed him since they had headed to the bar which felt like a lifetime ago. They pulled apart again after a few silent moments.

“Be right back, baby,” Dominic whispered and went into the bathroom to empty his full bladder.

Elijah watched him leave and rubbed his face. He was still carrying the bag with his purchases, but all he could think about was how damn tired he was. He stretched himself out on the couch and dropped the bag on the table. He would only close his eyes and rest a little until Dominic came back. But when Dominic came back, Elijah was already sound asleep.

Kneeling down beside the sofa, Dominic brushed his fingers against Elijah’s soft cheek with a gentle smile. He was able to think clearly again by now and he remembered how he had done the very same all those months ago, when he had helped a very drunk Elijah to bed after a night out in town. After the fountain incident. How he had been stroking Elijah’s peacefully sleeping face. And somewhere, deep down inside, he had wished he could kiss him. Kiss him without regrets, without having to feel bad about it. And now? Now he could. Cupping the soft cheek beneath his hand, Dominic pressed his lips against Elijah’s once more. How did he manage to get this lucky? He pulled away and looked at Elijah’s closed eyelids. He grinned.

“You owe your porn something tomorrow, baby…”

 


	45. Chapter 45

Elijah sighed with relief as the pressure on his bladder gradually decreased. He was standing in front of the toilet and wondered how he had even managed to sleep for a few hours. The growing need to pee had woken him up and made him sway into the bathroom. At least he wasn’t wearing his smelly clothes from last night anymore. Dominic must have taken them off, though Elijah didn’t remember him doing so. He remembered the drinking contest, then bits and pieces of what had happened afterwards on their way home. The store and the sudden urge he had felt. He didn’t remember how he got home. He had found himself in bed at Dominic’s place, alone and stripped down to his boxer shorts. And with an almost achingly full bladder which was now wonderfully empty.

“Hey pretty.”

Dominic’s low, raspy voice appeared from the door just as Elijah pulled his boxers back up.

“Oh no, why are you covering that up? It’s been such a nice view,” Dominic murmured over the edge of his coffee mug. He was dressed in a pair of long sweatpants. 

Elijah moved to the sink and turned on the water. Despite the light burning in his eyes, his light headache and his immense thirst, he grinned at Dominic through the mirror. “Why are you in such a good mood?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Dominic left the door-frame he had been leaning against and strolled towards him until his own bare chest pressed against Elijah’s back. Wrapping his free arm around Elijah’s waist, he kissed the smooth skin of his neck. The whole time Dominic’s movements were slow, sluggish and serene.

“Because if I remember correctly and my head isn’t aching from anything else, we got horribly pissed last night,” Elijah washed his hands and then rinsed his dry mouth. The cool, refreshing water felt like heaven.

“Ah, your hangovers have always been worse than mine,” Dominic stroked Elijah’s belly as he watched him expertly remove his contacts through the mirror. “At least you remember something.”

Elijah stored both lenses in the small container and laughed. “Yeah, like that horrible liquor of yours.”

“For someone who found it horrible, you downed a lot,” Dominic teased him and took a sip of coffee. He offered the mug to Elijah.

“I need some Aspirin first,” Elijah declined and turned around. “I mean, it didn’t taste bad, just…you know, ugh…fucking hardcore.”

Dominic chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Next time we’ll mix it with juice or coke or something. Makes it more bearable. But then again…,” he trailed off and tilted his head a little to the side as he looked at Elijah with the most adoring expression. “You’re so bloody cute when you’re drunk and out of control.”

Elijah leaned back against the sink and folded his arms across his chest, his eyes full of mocking reproach. “You just love to see me suffer, you fucking sadist.”

“Nah, I just love to be your shiny knight,” Dominic smiled before leaning in and claiming Elijah’s lips for a soft kiss. Elijah immediately melted inside and even his headache was forgotten for this brief moment. Dominic pulled away, the smile still lingering on his face.

“May I invite you to the breakfast table?”

“Of course you may. I just gotta shower first. I must stink like crap,” Elijah grimaced. He was feeling grimy and icky with all the dried sweat and the various smells that were sticking in his tousled hair. How the hell could Dominic even bear to stand right in front of him? 

“You’re perfect,” Dominic kissed him once more and opened the cabinet to hand Elijah the pack of pills for his headache. “I’ll be expecting you,” he said and turned around to walk into the kitchen where the table was already set and ready. 

After peeling the clothes off Elijah and putting him down to bed the night before, Dominic had been out like light beside him right away. When he had woken up, Elijah had still been fast asleep, his entire body entangled in the sheets as if he had been tossing and turning during the night. So Dominic had gotten up, taken a shower and prepared breakfast, knowing that Elijah would follow him soon. With all the alcohol, he wouldn’t be able to sleep for much longer.

“Mmm, nicely warm in here,” Elijah emerged after fifteen minutes, now in clean boxer shorts and his hair towel dry. He was feeling a lot more refreshed and his eyes sparkled through his glasses.

Dominic held up another mug of hot, black fluid. “Now up for some coffee?”

“You bet,” Elijah sat down next to him and took the mug from him.

“Your bag is still in the living-room,” Dominic grinned and took his knife.

Elijah blew on his steaming coffee and grinned back at him. “What the fuck did I do?”

“What, you don’t remember?”

“I know I wanted something. When I was in the store, I suddenly wanted something very bad…”

“You said they only had chocolate, but no proper porn,” Dominic said amused, spreading some butter on his toast. “Which means no gay porn, right?”

Elijah’s eyes widened in shocked embarrassment and he lowered the mug. “Did I tell that guy that I wanted gay porn magazines?”

Dominic laughed. “If you did, you didn’t get them. But there are four bars of chocolate in the bag.”

“Four? Hmm…,” Elijah mused, fumbling with the handle of his cup. An unpleasant feeling seized him. “Dom? What…what if he recognized me and figured out that I’m gay?”

Dominic stopped moving the knife over his toast and grabbed Elijah’s free hand. He knew this might come. “If he did recognize you, you still have the excuse of being pissed out of your mind. Besides, there will always be rumors, no matter what. Don’t worry about it, Lij,” he said seriously and gave Elijah’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

“Yeah probably,” Elijah looked into his mug for a moment before raising it to his lips to take a sip. He tried to remember the way the cashier had been looking at him, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t even recall his face. He only remembered the magazine racks and that particular urge. His previous concern was replaced by amusement.

“I know. I saw the magazines and I wanted porn. And chocolate. Both together.”

Dominic let go of Elijah’s hand and picked up his knife again. He was relieved that Elijah had stopped worrying about what might or what might not have been noticed by some cashier guy in the middle of the night.

“Both together?” he chuckled. “Sounds enticing.”

“Yeah, don’t you think?” Elijah smirked and grabbed a slice of toast from the plate on the center of the table. “Chocolate is just as good as sex.”

“Hmm,” Dominic pressed his lips tightly together and looked like he was seriously considering the truth of that statement. Which of course wasn’t true in his eyes. “Chocolate is good, but I wouldn’t go that far,” he finally said with a grin. 

“It’s mainly the combination, you know. There’s something about it,” Elijah told him in a dead serious tone and then pushed his chair back to stand up. “Be right back.”

Dominic watched him leave the kitchen and then return with the bag from the store. Elijah sat back down and rummaged around in it until he found the chocolate bars and put them on the table.

“Chocolate for breakfast? This is getting better and better,” Dominic joked, taking his mug. 

“Why the fuck did you let me buy all this?” Elijah laughed, looking at the various items in the bag. Crackers, water bottles and even more crackers and snacks. Enough to last them a month.

“Hey, I was looking for a taxi,” Dominic defended himself, emptying his mug and refilling it. “Someone had to keep a clear head.”

“Anyway,” Elijah started unwrapping one of the chocolate bars. “Chocolate makes you happy and sex makes you happy. So, it’s a very good combination.”

Dominic lowered the coffee pot and blinked at that. Then a smile spread across his face and he leaned over a little.

“You’ve got a point there,” he said softly. “And I’ve got it both combined in you. Sweetness and sex.”

Elijah stopped opening the little pack, his eyes traveling from Dominic’s twinkling grey-blue orbs down to his mouth. Feeling magically drawn towards it, he bent forward and closed his eyes. But before their lips had a chance to meet, Dominic leaned back in his chair and took the bar out of Elijah’s hand. Elijah opened his eyes again and gazed at him with a frown. The paper around the sweet candy was already removed enough to reveal a small dark piece. Dominic tore off half of the packing and took a bite of the chocolate, letting it melt inside his mouth with visible relish. Elijah’s eyes were glued to the sight. He swore he could see how Dominic’s tongue was taking a sticky bath in the liquefied chocolate and how it was slowly sliding down his throat. No doubt, it was the perfect combination.

“Mmm,” Dominic hummed, fully aware of the effects his little display of eating chocolate had on Elijah and he enjoyed every second of it. It would often take just one glance, one little gesture or one light touch for Dominic to turn Elijah into a puddle of desire. This time was no exception. Dominic could tell why Elijah liked this particular mixture of joys. And when his lips parted and his tongue licked over them in pure and utter bliss while he emitted another quiet humming sound, he could hear the change in Elijah’s breathing. In fact, there was hardly a breath left in his body.

“You’re right,” Dominic swallowed the rest of the chocolate in his mouth and smiled. “Makes you happy.”

This time he wasn’t so cruel as to deny Elijah what he was craving for. The sweet flavor still lingered on Dominic’s lips and Elijah could taste it as he was finally pulled into a kiss. Elijah hadn’t even noticed that he had been holding his breath. His entire attention had been on Dominic’s face and the pure pleasure that had been written all over it. Scooting over a little with his chair, Elijah pushed his tongue in between Dominic’s lips and entered the mouth that had been enjoying delicious, melting chocolate just a few seconds before. And he could still taste it as he engulfed Dominic’s tongue with his own. Then the need to breathe took over again and Elijah broke the kiss.

“See? Told you so…,” Elijah murmured barely audibly, keeping his face close to Dominic’s. He briefly looked down when Dominic broke off another piece of chocolate and gently shoved it into Elijah’s mouth. Pushing it around with his tongue and feeling it melt against it, Elijah utterly enjoyed the taste. He couldn’t help but emit a small, pleasant moan.

Dominic grinned at him. “Now, what else might make you happy?”

“This,” Elijah said without hesitation and flung his arms around Dominic’s neck. Their lips smashed together in a fiery kiss. Dominic entangled his slender fingers in Elijah’s damp hair, cupping the back of his head and his other hand stroking up and down his nude back. Before he totally sunk into the kiss, Elijah took off his glasses and placed them blindly on the table beside him. He was almost blind without them, but he knew he wouldn’t need them for the time being. The kiss was nearly too deep, so they pulled apart again and Elijah opened his eyes a crack. He could see Dominic’s face in front of him clearly, that bare upper body, the rippling stomach muscles, the hair leading down from his navel into the waistband of the sweatpants. No matter what Dominic might claim and think about himself, he had the manliest and most beautiful body in Elijah’s eyes. Elijah put his hand on that masculine chest, feeling the warmth beneath his fingers. His chair squeaked on the kitchen floor tiles as he felt Dominic pull him up out of it and down on his lap.

“Hangover gotten a little better?” Dominic asked, weaving a finger through a strand of Elijah’s hair.

Elijah straddled Dominic’s thighs, his feet touching the floor and a desirous expression on his face. “What hangover?”

“Ah, I cured you,” Dominic chuckled and wrapped his arms around Elijah’s torso.

“Thanks for that,” Elijah murmured and shifted forward a little further, so he could lean against Dominic’s chest. This position brought his crotch into contact with the bulge between Dominic’s legs that was rather prominent due to the thin fabric of the sweatpants. Elijah shuddered at the tingling feeling it caused and buried his fingers in Dominic’s hair as he kissed him.

The skin underneath his roaming hands felt smooth as ever and Dominic moved them down Elijah’s back until they settled on his clad backside. The delicious torture commenced when Elijah began rocking his hips. Dominic groaned into Elijah’s mouth, his bulge getting bigger and harder as Elijah kept on grinding against it. He pressed his hands against Elijah’s moving bottom, squeezing it with every rocking motion.

“Mmm…baby…,” Dominic gasped. The torture became unbearable and he knew if Elijah continued rocking on his lap like that, he would have to stuff his pants into the washing machine very soon. Bolts of pulsating pleasure shot through his groin. Elijah buried his face in the crook of Dominic’s neck, his entire body trembling and panting. He stopped moving his hips and remained pressed against Dominic’s perspiring chest. 

“I think you are the one who likes to see me suffer,” Dominic grinned and Elijah leaned back to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, sliding off Dominic’s lap. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Dominic watched with hungry eyes how Elijah pushed his boxers down and dropped them on the floor. Lifting his hips, he wriggled out of his sweatpants that Elijah pulled down his legs. Then Elijah settled back down onto Dominic’s lap.

“I suppose this is more to your satisfaction?”

“Very much so…but I bet I can be satisfied even more,” Dominic placed his hands on either side of Elijah’s face and their lips met in a passionate clash of tongues. Elijah resumed his former position, moaning into Dominic’s mouth as their cocks rubbed together, this time without any disturbing fabric between them. Yes, that was definitely more satisfying. But still rather torturous since mere friction could sometimes become too much and too unbearable. The chocolate had undeniably given Dominic’s hunger a boost and his erotic way of eating it seemed to have had the same effect on Elijah. With a groan, Elijah pulled back and rested his chin on Dominic’s shoulder. As much as he loved kissing him, he also needed to breathe and get air into his panting lungs from time to time. Dominic relished the pleasant weight on his lap, his hands roaming Elijah’s smooth back and feeling him inhale heavily against his upper body. He smirked. He was apparently not the only one getting deliciously tortured here. And undeniably in the need for more. 

Peeking over Elijah’s shoulder, Dominic looked at the items on the table. Bread, toast, coffee, jam, a jar of Marmite – his favorite British bread spread – the half eaten chocolate bar. And the golden butter, the most useful piece. Luckily it was not too far away, so Dominic could reach out easily and dip two fingers into the soft stick. When he slowly buried them in between Elijah’s buttocks, he received a sudden gasp and shudder.

“What…,” Elijah raised his head and gazed at Dominic with wide eyes.

“Just thought I’d better take butter,” Dominic grinned, pushing his fingers all the way in. “More practical than chocolate.”

“Hmm…,” Elijah moaned in appreciation. He began rocking back against the delightfully penetrating fingers as Dominic moved them in and out, scissoring them and stretching Elijah from the inside. His entire body trembled in anticipation, his prostate getting nudged again and again. He wasn’t capable of doing anything but groan and rock and the pleasure intensified as his cock kept rubbing against Dominic’s. 

Soon the ring of muscle relaxed and Dominic stopped the penetration. He gathered more butter in his other hand and quickly coated his aching cock with it. It didn’t take long before he felt the wonderful pressure on and around it. Elijah first lifted his hips and then lowered them again slowly. The hard length of Dominic’s slick cock slid into him, filling him up and immediately touching his prostate. He tightened the hold of his trembling arms around Dominic’s neck while his body gradually adjusted to the invasion. Then he began rocking his hips.

Dominic held Elijah against his chest as he started moving slowly. His back pressed against the hard backrest of his chair, but he hardly noticed it. His entire concentration was focused on his groin and the man in his arms. Elijah had his eyes closed in pure bliss, his head back in its comfortable position on Dominic’s shoulder. Continuous moans and gasps escaped his lips and his hips almost seemed to be moving on their own. Dominic’s hands wandered down to Elijah’s bottom again, supporting him as his movements filled both their loins with little tingling waves of pleasure. He could feel Elijah’s penis bump into his abdomen and he wanted to grab it, yet at the same time he didn’t want to let go of the wonderful, soft globes underneath his hands. He didn’t have to contemplate very long. Like Elijah had read his mind, he removed one arm from around Dominic’s neck and reached down to take hold of himself. The sweaty heat between their bodies grew intense. As the mounting pleasure took over completely, Elijah rocked even faster and leaned back, his free hand clutching the edge of the table. Dominic watched him with half-closed eyes, the arching and damp upper body, the panting chest, the smooth and creamy neck. He could look at it for only a few short moments though. Everything about Elijah drew Dominic towards him and he leaned forward, grasping Elijah’s rocking hips and attaching his mouth to his throat. He could feel the vibrations that Elijah’s frantic moans caused beneath his lips as he sucked on the perfect skin and licked it with his rough tongue.

Elijah came first, his seed spurting out of his jerking cock. Dominic followed just a few seconds later and after he had emptied himself entirely inside of the tight body on his lap, he wrapped his arms around Elijah and pulled him against his chest. Elijah held on to him weakly, his fingers softly caressing Dominic’s shoulder blades. His previous hangover was forgotten and he briefly wondered why he wasn’t feeling more exhausted. He had been heavily drunk the night before, he had woken up with an aching head and struggled his way into the bathroom with an achingly full bladder. Then this strenuous yet delightful activity. But he was feeling anything but exhausted. On the contrary, he was feeling utterly refreshed and of course utterly content. And he knew it was only because of Dominic. Pulling away far enough to be able to look at Dominic’s flushed face, Elijah smiled at him.

“Thank you. Feeling much better now.”

“My pleasure,” Dominic smiled back at him, his delicate fingers brushing a damp hair strand away from Elijah’s forehead. “Mmm…I love you, Lijah.”

“Love you, too,” Elijah murmured before claiming Dominic’s smiling lips for a deep kiss that remained slow yet consuming. Dominic was aware that his now limp cock was still buried inside Elijah and he had no intention of leaving this perfect position anytime soon.

When their lips parted again, Elijah turned to look at the rest of the butter.

“Well, this was definitely something new,” he chuckled, turning back around.

“If you gotta improvise, you gotta improvise,” Dominic shrugged with a grin. “How was I to know that my seductive little boy would be this hungry at the breakfast table? Or wait…let me correct that…”

Elijah laughed. “I’m not complaining.”

“Good,” Dominic kissed him again and gazed up at him with mischievously sparkling eyes. “If there’s anything else I can do to make your life more exciting, just let me know.”

Cocking his head lightly, Elijah chewed on his plump bottom lip as he thought about this suggestion. Certainly, Dominic was the kind of guy who was familiar with the most exciting things. Things that Elijah would never ever be able to come up with by himself, not even in his wildest imagination. At least he thought so. Dominic was the one with the most experiences and Elijah knew he had only scratched the surface by now. His curiosity took over. 

“Is there anything else that could make our lives even more exciting?”

Dominic loved the look on Elijah’s face whenever he asked a question like this in all his adorable innocence. No matter how much Dominic thought he had corrupted him, Elijah would always keep a certain amount of innocence. But there was still a lot for him to discover and try out and Dominic was more than willing to introduce him to it. He had something in mind, though he wasn’t quite sure if Elijah would be up for this particular sort of thing. Every time they made love was unique and special, but sometimes they were in the mood for something different. Something unusual, something kinky.

“Hmm, actually there is…”

Elijah grinned at Dominic’s playful expression. Did he even have to ask? Of course Dominic would say yes.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” he wanted to know, but all he received was a teasing shaking of the head.

“You’ll see, love,” Dominic smirked, the sound of Elijah’s giggle sounding like music in his ears, as always.

“Fucking tease!”

“Oh no, it’s cock tease,” Dominic corrected him and gave him a peck on the lips. It took them a while until they found the motivation to move and get up from their comfortable spot, Elijah’s legs wrapped tightly around Dominic’s waist as he got carried into the shower.


	46. Chapter 46

“Here at last, on the shores of the sea, comes the end of our fellowship…”

Elijah looked up into Ian’s face, his seemingly serene expression not revealing any of his inner turmoil. Ian’s voice held the familiar grandfather-tone which was typical of Gandalf whenever he was talking to the Hobbits. Warm, raspy and affectionate. The atmosphere was gloomy and depressing, just as it was supposed to be. Keeping his composed appearance, Elijah shifted his gaze and looked to his left. Sean was standing right next to him, his eyes glistening with tears. As Elijah looked to his right, he saw Dominic and Billy who were crying as well. Though this wasn’t quite accurate. Not Sean, Dominic and Billy, but Sam, Merry and Pippin.

It was a difficult day and one they all had been dreading. The Grey Havens set with its blue screen inside the Stone Street Studios in Wellington served for one of the hardest scenes to shoot. Frodo saying farewell to his friends and leaving Middle-earth for good. It was the middle of August and it felt strange doing this particular scene at this point of principal photography. They weren’t filming chronologically, so some of the major parts hadn’t been shot yet. They hadn’t even finished the entire journey yet, still they had to somehow get into the emotional state of saying good-bye to each other. Yes, it was a day they had definitely not been looking forward to.

“I’ll not say ‘do not weep’, for not all tears are an evil.”

Elijah couldn’t help but feel sorry for the others, but at the same time he was rather glad. Dominic, Billy and Sean had been crying all day long, struggling to reach the right emotional pitch for the Grey Havens. Elijah knew how hard it could be to produce tears as an actor. You had to dig into your soul and mind and allow yourself to get affected by your own bad memories. Memories that you would probably love to keep locked up somewhere for good. It was a frightful way to Elijah. He very much preferred listening to sad music instead of letting himself get haunted by horrible experiences from the past. Which was one reason why he was glad that he did not have to cry in this scene.

“Thank you, boys,” Peter’s voice appeared from his director’s chair. He looked at his monitor, scratching his frizzy beard.

Usually, Elijah would have relaxed after the cut, but it was best to stay in character. He could hardly look at his friends. They looked absolutely devastated and the mood was suffocating. Elijah glanced at Dominic who was gazing at Peter and obviously waiting for another director’s order. Not for the first time Elijah wondered what Dominic was thinking of in order to cry. He hoped and prayed that Dominic’s bad memories did not involve him and his horrible behavior back in February. They had struggled so hard to get over it and to keep it in the past where it belonged.

Taking a deep breath, Dominic sighed quietly. Then he looked at Elijah and his lips formed a small smile. He didn’t dare to smile more than that, it would have gotten him out of his emotional state and it was better to stay in character, no matter how exhausting it was. He had never thought that he was very convincing at weeping for the camera. The image of himself crying was not something he was particularly fond of. But today there was no place for egos and insecurities. Dominic almost wished he wasn’t able to relate to the entire situation so well, though it certainly helped. He had been in a similar situation before. Having to say good-bye to Frodo was like having to say good-bye to Elijah at the beginning of the Christmas break last December. He remembered the scene and the emotions vividly. It had felt like leaving Elijah behind. At a place where he didn’t belong. Elijah belonged with Dominic and flying off to Europe had seemed like a crime. The important difference was that he had known he would see Elijah again, whereas Frodo would never return to Middle-earth. Still the feelings were the same and Dominic tried to channel the very same feelings once again, even though it hurt more than he wanted to admit. In fact, it left him tremendously drained by the end of the day.

And Dominic was not the only one who was happy when the scene was finally done. His emotions were all over the place and all he wanted to do was to crawl into bed with Elijah by his side, shutting out the rest of the world. Sean was picked up by Christine and headed home right away. Billy wanted to meet up with Orlando to enjoy one last beer before calling it a day, but Dominic and Elijah declined. Which was quite unlike them, so Billy knew something must have been bothering them and that they rather be alone.

Therefore, the evening at Dominic’s place went quiet and tranquil, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Elijah helped Dominic prepare dinner, a part of him wanting to ask what was going on in Dominic’s head, another part wanting to avoid the subject. He could tell that the day had affected Dominic and he wished he could help him. But as they were eating, they talked about meaningless stuff mainly. Still Elijah kept on glancing at Dominic, trying to read his eyes. He realized he needed to bring it up sooner or later anyway. It was an important thing they had once agreed on, that they should talk about it whenever something was troubling them.

The last month of winter. It would be spring soon, and then December. Summer and the end of principal photography. And then what? They had been living in New Zealand for ten months. It had become their home, they had houses here, they went to work every day and spent practically their entire free time in each other’s company. And not just that. New Zealand was like an isolated place, far away from potential dangers. A world of their own. Of course it wasn’t perfect, but it felt perfect. Like nothing could get them here and they could always be together. Elijah had asked Dominic to come to Los Angeles with him and Dominic had said yes. He often tried to picture their life there. What would it be like? As carefree as it was here? And wouldn’t it be strange to get up every morning, knowing you wouldn’t see the friends you made here? Dominic had told him to stop thinking and worrying so much, but filming the Grey Havens had triggered something in his mind.

When Elijah entered the bedroom, Dominic was lying on top of the sheets and writing into his diary. He couldn’t see him clearly without his lenses, but as he approached the bed, the vision became less and less blurry. The well-built back, the shaggy dark-blonde hair, the muscular upper arms and the legs that were covered by a pair of sweatpants. Dominic stopped moving the pen across the paper and closed his book, dropping both on the floor. Then he turned around with a smile and gathered Elijah in his arms. They kissed briefly before Elijah lowered his head to rest it on Dominic’s warm chest. Dominic switched off the lamp on the nightstand. He could sense how the proximity was more intense than usual. Elijah pressed his entire body against Dominic’s, pulling him even closer. Like he was afraid that the man beside him might disappear all of a sudden.

“Mmm, everything okay?” Dominic asked, moving his fingers up and down Elijah’s arm where the short-sleeved shirt revealed smooth, pale skin. Elijah remained silent for a long moment. He could have asked Dominic the very same question.

“What a day,” he sighed eventually. “That was almost worse than Mordor.”

“It was?” Dominic raised an eyebrow with a grin. “You have no reason to complain. You didn’t have to cry all day long.”

“That’s why I said ‘almost’,” Elijah grinned back up at him.

“You just had to flash your beautiful eyes, you lucky bastard.”

“Hey, that’s harder than you think. It’s fucking tough work.”

“Oh yeah, right.”

“Really. Just nobody knows that but me. They wouldn’t understand anyway.”

“Not even Pete?”

“Him least of all. But that’s alright. It’s my dark little secret.”

“Oh. I thought I was your dark little secret?”

“You’re my dirty little secret…”

They trailed off, giggling at the pointlessness of their babbling. But Elijah quickly turned solemn again. He stared into the darkness of the room and at the curtains in front of the window. The faint glimmer of the city lights was shining through the fabric that he could still make out. He felt Dominic’s fingers on his arm, a simple motion that only made him more serious.

“What were you thinking about?” he suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had lasted a few minutes.

“Hmm?” Dominic opened his eyes again and frowned. He had thought Elijah had already fallen asleep or that he had been at least on the verge of drifting off to sleep. “Thinking about?”

“Today,” Elijah’s voice was softer than usual in the quietness of the bedroom. “When you had to cry…what were you thinking about?”

All sleepiness was abruptly gone and Dominic looked up at the ceiling. This was not something he had expected. The day had been tough on pretty much everyone and he had no desire to repeat the emotional turmoil again and again in his head. Most importantly, he wasn’t sure if he should reveal it. Now that he was thinking about it, it seemed rather ridiculous. Why was it still on his mind? It was normal to say good-bye to each other sooner or later. They couldn’t be together seven days a week. But deep inside, he knew why.

“Why are you asking?” Dominic wanted to know, although he was aware it was just a pitiful attempt to delay a response.

Chewing on his bottom lip, Elijah wondered if he should just let it go or not. He wanted to know. He needed to know if it had been about him and his hurtful behavior. But it was a very personal question.

“You don’t have to tell me. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it,” he said and hoped he sounded honest.

Dominic continued staring at the ceiling that he could not even see, contemplating the question. His arm unconsciously tightened its hold on Elijah.

“It’s…it’s pathetic. You’ll laugh your arse off.”

Elijah lifted his head in order to look at Dominic’s face. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now and he could see a faint sparkle of light in those grey-blue orbs, as well as the facial contours. Dominic’s reaction left him bemused. Surely he shouldn’t have to be ashamed if those memories were still affecting him.

“Why would I do that?”

Dominic reached up and rubbed his eyes which suddenly felt sore and itchy. Then he looked up into Elijah’s eyes. They were bright and clear as ever, even with this lack of light.

“It…it was you…”

In that moment, Elijah felt the overwhelming urge to slap himself. He had known it. It had been about him, so obviously it couldn’t have been a very positive memory. He closed his eyes and took a silent breath, putting his head down on the pillow.

“Lijah?” Dominic turned to switch on the lamp and sat up. The light illuminated Elijah’s pain-stricken face. Dominic’s initial confusion turned into heavy concern.

“Hey…what is it? What’s wrong?” His tender fingers touched Elijah’s arm and traveled down to his hand. Elijah accepted it and took hold of it, allowing Dominic to pull him up into a sitting position. He immediately leaned against Dominic’s chest and felt those loving arms enfold him.

“I’m sorry,” Elijah whispered, sinking into the embrace. Dominic’s hands moved all over his back in a soothing manner.

“What are you sorry for, baby?” Dominic whispered back. Elijah’s body shuddered in his arms and Dominic held him even more firmly against his chest.

“Talk to me. Come on.”

Taking a deep, shaking breath and inhaling Dominic’s scent, Elijah pulled back and wiped at his eyes. He wasn’t crying, but the weariness was a little too much. He sat back and leaned against the headboard, looking down at his hands. Dominic never took his eyes off him.

“I’m sorry,” Elijah started again, his voice quiet and sad. “For hurting you when I thought I had to leave you.”

Dominic was crouching in front of him, confusion written all over his face. It took him a moment to realize that Elijah was really talking about those few days back in February.

“What…what makes you come up with that now?” he asked. He hoped they wouldn’t have to go through that all over again. They had talked about it and they had moved on. At least he had thought so. Finally, Elijah looked up from his wringing hands. The pain and despair in his expression was so extreme that Dominic had to struggle not to pull him into his arms right away. He needed to know first.

“Well,” Elijah’s shoulders sagged, increasing his distressed appearance. He had to take another deep breath before he was able to continue. “You were crying during that scene and you said you were thinking about me. So…it’s not hard to figure out what exactly you were thinking about. There was only one time I made you cry and that was when…you know…”

He couldn’t even bring himself to say it out loud. He didn’t even know what to call it. Break-up? But they had never really been apart. Not willingly. Maybe Elijah was just desperate to paint the memory in bright colors and therefore cover up the truth, but now, thinking back, he had not broken up with Dominic. That’s what he kept telling himself. It hadn’t been his decision. He hadn’t meant to do it. He had been talked into it and he hadn’t been in his right mind. Somewhere deep inside he was aware that it was a rather easy way to take the blame off himself and it was probably nonsense. He was grown up after all and very much able to make his own choices. But back then things had been different. He had been a different person. And even if it was just for the sake of his own peace of mind, he refused to see it as a break-up. Separation, maybe. But the best expression was probably mistake. A big, huge mistake.

Dominic didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. This was so senseless, yet typically Elijah. Worrying about nothing and getting worked up about it. He pressed his lips together and shook his head faintly, then he formed a soft smile. Reaching out, he placed a gentle hand on Elijah’s thigh.

“Lijah, stop it.”

Elijah looked at that hand, but his gaze seemed to be far away. Dominic wasn’t sure if he had heard him.

“Elijah?” he repeated patiently and at last Elijah emitted a weak sigh. Their eyes met and Dominic’s heart once again broke at what he saw.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, not this shit again,” Elijah immediately cast his eyes down again and buried his face in his hands. How Dominic never lost his patience with him was beyond him. He annoyed even himself, so how could Dominic still be so tolerant? The answer was obvious, but right now it couldn’t get into his head.

Dominic watched him struggle with himself, as he had done so many times before. And somehow he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Baby,” he pulled Elijah’s hands away from his face, so he couldn’t hide anymore. “You do know that we were supposed to cry, don’t you?”

It was a silly question, but at least it made Elijah look up.

 

“What?” Elijah frowned, confused about the statement and the unsuitable smile on Dominic’s face. “Of course I know that. That’s not what I meant…”

“I know,” Dominic quickly interrupted him. “And I also know that actors often use bad memories when they have to cry for a scene. You thought I used the memory of you breaking up with me.”

The tone he said it with was rather straightforward and Elijah wondered if that was a good or a bad thing. Dominic didn’t seem hurt. More like he was talking about something bad, but it didn’t affect him anymore.

“I didn’t break up with you,” Elijah tried to protest, but his words sounded desperate even in his own ears. “I mean…I didn’t mean to…”

Dominic silenced him by putting a tender finger on his lips. The smile was lingering. That weird, confusing smile.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “What matters is that I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking about the moment I had to say good-bye to you at the airport. When we flew home for the holidays.”

The realization was literally visible in Elijah’s eyes which grew bigger as he stared at Dominic. And then something happened that took even him by surprise. He smiled.

“Really? That’s great!”

When Dominic raised an eyebrow, the inapt grin faded right away and Elijah bit on his bottom lip.

“Well, not that you were thinking about that, but that you were not thinking about… _that_.”

Dominic chuckled. An inappropriate sound in this situation. Why did it all seem so out of place, yet felt so right? That was a question that could be applied to their entire relationship, but they didn’t care about it. Not anymore.

“I want to keep that in the past, Lij. Besides, it wouldn’t have made much sense, would it? It was a farewell scene. You left and we would never see you again.”

Leaning back against the headboard once more, Elijah nodded and emitted an exhausted sigh. He examined his short fingernails as his thoughts drifted, repeating the day again and again in his mind. It had been a day like no other, emotionally draining and more strenuous than any crawling scene. Of course it had left them all shaken up and not in the best state of mind. The depressing atmosphere, the tears, the significance of the scene and what it meant for their characters. Saying good-bye to each other during principal photography. Only a few more months and they would have to say good-bye for real.

“What do you think it will be like, in December?” Elijah asked and looked up from his abused nails. “I can’t imagine this all being over. I can’t even imagine leaving.”

Dominic moved and sat next to Elijah who immediately leaned against his side. As he buried his nose in the soft, dark hair, Dominic inhaled the sweet scent and draped his arm around Elijah’s slender frame.

“I hope you remember that you asked me to come to LA with you,” he said with a smile, his voice muffled against the tousled hair.

Elijah bent his legs a little and embraced Dominic’s nude upper body. Tilting his head up, he pressed his smiling lips against Dominic’s clean-shaven chin.

“How could I forget? And you didn’t change your mind, did you?”

“Hmm…,” Dominic narrowed his eyes, pretending to contemplate really hard. “Let me think about it again. Go back to cold, rainy England to live in my little flat all alone or go to sunny LA to stay with my lovely boyfriend so that I don’t have to pine for him. Tough choice…”

Elijah giggled and nudged his side. “Idiot. I mean, seriously. It’s gonna be so fucking sad. I don’t wanna say good-bye to everyone.”

“Oh, we won’t have to,” Dominic brushed a strand of hair away from Elijah’s forehead and placed a soft kiss on the pale skin. “We’ll all be together again for the promotion and everything. If the films don’t flop, that is. And don’t think I’ll let Billy or Orlando get away just like that.”

“Mmm…but it won’t be the same,” Elijah took hold of Dominic’s hand and their fingers immediately intertwined. They fit perfectly, like everything about them. Elijah watched their tangled hands for a moment before looking up at Dominic again.

“Promise me we’ll come back here. That we’ll really get a house here.”

“Of course we will, baby,” Dominic assured him, kissing him lovingly. The prospect of finishing filming in December appalled him more than he wanted to admit and he shoved it away as well as he could. Elijah was right. It would be sad, but Dominic kept reminding himself that Los Angeles was waiting on the other side. It wasn’t New Zealand, their special, isolated world. But it was Elijah’s home and that made it special. It was their future and they could build a life together there. Both in America and in New Zealand. The vivid image became clearer and brighter and when Dominic lowered Elijah onto his back and slowly sank into him, all doubts vanished.

 

~**~

 

The chilly wind was blowing through his permanently disheveled hair, but Peter didn’t notice. He was wearing his ever-present shorts and at least his upper body was covered with a jacket. He had stopped feeling the cold a long time ago, plus he had other things on his mind. Running one hand through his fuzzy beard, he clutched the tape in the other as he made his way over to the feet trailer. Another day in the studio was waiting for them, but not one that he had exactly planned. In fact, his filming schedule had been screwed up. Any other director probably would have gotten mad about it, worrying about the studio, its demands and the pressure. But not him. Stress, concern and anger weren’t words that could be found in Peter’s vocabulary. He had heard often enough that he was a little too relaxed and laid back for a director, but that was just him. He saw no sense in pressure, tension and madness. But then again, he was no Hollywood director. That was a big difference.

Ascending the short staircase, Peter opened the door and entered the trailer. It was inhumanly early in the morning, as always when feet had to be attached, but the boys sure had found a way to deal with it as it didn’t seem to bother them anymore. Dominic and Billy were sitting in their chairs and chatting with each other while Sean was sipping on a plastic cup of coffee, his eyes fixed on a few sheets of paper in his hand. Elijah was standing on the far side of the trailer and had just pushed the play button of the CD player when the door opened. He quickly turned the player off again and smiled.

“Morning, boys,” Peter said as he came in.

“Good morning, Pete,” everyone greeted back and stopped what they were doing. The make-up crew wasn’t present yet, so the guys were still in their normal clothes.

Peter closed the door and stepped further into the room. He hoped he would get it out before the team arrived, but when he looked at his actors, he found himself at a loss for how to approach the matter. Despite the time of day, or rather night, they looked as keen and dedicated as they could be. He didn’t want to crush that motivation.

“So…you enjoyed the Grey Havens yesterday, didn’t you?” Peter asked with a cheerful smile, knowing the answer already.

Usually Elijah was all for being honest, especially on a movie set, but sometimes he thought it was better to find some sort of compromise. His mind was racing as he struggled to come up with an answer that would sound as neutral as possible.

“Uhm sure,” he said before anyone else could say something. “It was definitely a challenge and I think we all did great.”

Dominic sat back in his chair and grinned at him silently. This was a reply that couldn’t be any more typical Elijah and it was almost too adorable. Scratching his chin, he crossed his legs in a casual manner and looked up at Peter.

"Yeah, it was great. I could have cried all day long. Oh wait…I did actually,” he chuckled.

“Absolutely. We could do that every day,” Billy added sarcastically and reached for his coffee cup.

Sean, who had gotten up from his chair as soon as he had seen Peter enter, nodded eagerly.

“I agree with Elijah. It was a very profound scene, especially for Frodo and Sam. Of course it was difficult, but we nailed it.”

Peter looked at each of them, one after another, and then he laughed.

“Wow, I got off pretty lightly there. But you can be honest. I know how hard it was for you. But you know what,” he paused, his fingers playing with the tape he had carried with him. “You are a bunch of such great pros, you could manage anything. No matter what I ask of you.”

These words combined with the smiling face of the director caused an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of Elijah’s stomach, but he tried not to make it too obvious. He looked at the others and could see the same emotions on their faces.

“Like what?” he finally dared to ask after some hesitation.

Peter lifted the tape. “Let me show you,” he said and moved over to the small monitor set at the wall. Turning on the screen, he shoved the tape into the player below and started it. Then he stepped back, so that everyone could take a look. Dominic and Billy got up and approached the monitor, Dominic coming to stand beside Elijah. They glanced at each other and immediately knew what the other was thinking. They just wanted to know the reason.

Sean studied the small screen with a deep frown.

“This is what we shot yesterday,” Peter explained. “I edited the important sequences together, so you’ll see what the problem is.”

Merry and Pippin were standing side by side, crying. Sam was standing on the other side, holding Frodo’s book under his arm and crying as well. Dominic couldn’t help but grin as he saw himself in tears. No, he definitely didn’t like the image of himself crying. Poking Billy’s ribs with his elbow, he smirked.

“You look sexy crying, mate.”

“Nothing compared to you,” Billy complimented back just as the scene changed. What appeared then took Dominic’s breath away. Frodo turned around and smiled, assuring his friends that everything would be alright. Dominic had always found Elijah nothing short of beautiful and the hobbit costume didn’t change that. But he thought had never looked more beautiful than in these few, short seconds. Dominic’s eyes were glued to the little screen and he momentarily forgot that something was supposed to be wrong with the footage. Then the camera focused on Sam, Merry and Pippin again.

“Oh shit,” Sean clasped his hand over his mouth in total shock and embarrassment.

Dominic frowned as he didn’t notice the problem right away and his mind was still preoccupied with a certain image.

“The waistcoat,” Billy pointed out and had to chuckle despite the irritating situation. “Seriously, Sean. You, of all people?”

“The vest,” Elijah crossed his arms and shot a rebuking glance at Sean that wasn’t very serious though. “How unprofessional,” he teased with a light grin, but he felt sorry deep inside. Sean’s face had turned beet-red and he stared at the monitor, faintly shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Dominic, who had left the state of speechless amazement by now, put on his cheeky trademark smile and patted Sean’s back.

“Happens to the best of us,” he simply stated.

Sean slowly lowered his hand and finally looked up. “I…I’m so sorry,” he muttered, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. “I…you know, I left during the break because Christine called me, and it was so warm in that room. I took off the vest, but I totally forgot to put it back on later…damnit…”

“It’s also my fault,” Peter cut in soothingly. “I didn’t notice it until I watched it on a screen last night. However, I’m afraid there’s no other way. You gotta do it again.”

Silence. Elijah chewed on the abused nail of his thumb and glanced at Dominic uncertainly, remembering the night before. Even though Dominic hadn’t evoked the memory Elijah had feared, the prospect of going through it all again was anything but appealing. Dominic, however, turned to him and then smiled reassuringly, indicating that he would be alright. They all would be. If he had known what would happen the following day, his confidence would have gotten smashed completely.

Had the situation not been so grave, Peter would have laughed about the cringe-worthy déjà vu feeling of it all as he went to the feet trailer the next morning. He didn’t even know how to put it into bearable words, but he did know what their reaction would be. He had nearly fallen off his chair when he had checked the negative at the end of the day. Usually he wasn’t a superstitious person, but that day almost made him change his mind.

“It’s blurred,” Peter said, his heart going out to these four clueless boys in front of him.

“What is blurred?” Elijah asked carefully. He was standing in front of the broad mirror and already had his hobbit pants on.

“The negative from yesterday. It’s all out of focus, you can hardly see anything.”

Peter got exactly the reaction he had expected.

“Nice try, Pete!” Dominic laughed, raising his thumb in approval. “Really nice try.”

“It’s August, not April,” Billy shook his head with a grin. Sean lowered the book he had been reading, his lips forming a grin as well.

“At least he didn’t make it my fault this time.”

Elijah kept staring at Peter’s face. He was very much able to see the struggle in it.

“Guys, I assure you,” Peter sighed and raised his hands, like he was trying to defend himself. “This is not a joke. I’m serious.”

It took a few more seconds before the smiles on Dominic’s, Billy’s and Sean’s faces froze and then faded completely.

“Fucking hell,” Elijah muttered, still staring at the director in utter disbelief. “This scene is fucking cursed.”

“Please shoot me.” Dominic’s blank voice made Elijah turn his gaze away from Peter. He saw how Dominic slowly lowered himself on his chair and rubbed his forehead. Elijah immediately went over to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. It would be a fucking pain in the ass for all of them, but he couldn’t take the sight of Dominic crying anymore. Still rubbing his forehead and looking down at the floor blankly, Dominic felt Elijah wrap his arms around his neck from behind.

Billy looked at them compassionately, but Sean didn’t even dare to breathe into their direction. He was clutching the book in his hand, mentally kicking himself. Sure, this time it wasn’t his fault. But if he hadn’t been so damn inattentive and had remembered to put his vest on, they would have been done with this scene two days ago. He expected Dominic to get up again and punch him in the face. Dominic had done it before and he could do it again. They had made up and moved on, but something would always remain between them. Sean didn’t fool himself there, as much as he would have liked to. Eventually he did look up hesitantly and couldn’t help but frown. Was Dominic thinking he was the only one who had to do that scene for the fucking third time? He sure was acting like it. And Sam’s role in it was much more essential than Merry’s and Pippin’s. But when he watched Elijah hold Dominic tightly, obviously not caring about anything else in this moment, Sean quickly cast his eyes down again, feeling somewhat ashamed of his thoughts.

“Well,” Billy spoke after what seemed like an eternity of silence. “Let’s make the best of our frustration and use it.”

Gallows humor was the best thing to keep everyone going right now.

“I promise you, this will be the last time,” Peter smiled faintly and shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “You know where to show up. See you later.”

And with that he turned around and left the trailer.

Billy sat down beside Dominic, wondering why his friend was seemingly more shaken up than anyone else. But he could also tell, seeing the way Elijah was holding Dominic, that there was no need to worry. They understood each other without words and if anyone knew how to reach Dominic, it was Elijah. A sudden bumping sound made Billy look up just in time to see Sean exit the trailer. His book was lying on the make-up counter. Something told Billy that Sean didn’t need some fresh air just because of the messed up scene. He wondered if he should follow him, but decided against it.

The day would be strenuous enough.


	47. Chapter 47

Sean sat back in the armchair and lifted the beer bottle in his hand up to his lips. Small, cool water droplets were sliding down the neck of the bottle and he absentmindedly smoothed down the slightly crumpled label. Taking a sip of his drink, he narrowed his eyes as he watched Dominic and Billy sit on the floor in front of the TV. Both of them were eagerly fidgeting with their control pads and staring at the screen like some invisible force was pulling them in. Sean was surprised that their eyes weren’t ruined yet. Elijah’s eyesight couldn’t have become any more damaged, but even he didn’t use to be so glued to the TV when he was playing video games. Unlike the other boys, Sean had never gotten this Playstation fascination. He preferred reading books or just spending time with his wife and his daughter. Lowering the bottle and resting it on his thigh, he propped his elbow on the armrest of his seat and leaned his head upon his hand. 

Almost a month had passed since his conversation with Elijah in the backyard of the Millennium Hotel in Queenstown during the fancy Hollywood Ball. Sean remembered Elijah’s words vividly and he was glad that they had been able to rebuild their friendship. As well as they could, that is. Just mingling with the others was still a problem. After leaving the feet trailer like that four days before, Sean had refused to think about it any further. He knew his behavior back then had probably been ridiculous and he had noticed Billy’s questioning glances throughout the day on set. The third and last take of the goddamn Grey Havens. And he had been convinced that he had fucked up once more. Because of him they had to repeat the scene and go through the emotional torment again. He could still slap himself for being so unprofessional. Elijah never would have been so unprofessional. In fact, Sean doubted Elijah even knew the meaning of that word. He was nothing short of a pro, always, and it was only one of the things Sean admired about him. And the last thing he wanted was to screw it up between them again. 

“Rise and shine, Seanwise!”

Sean was suddenly ripped out of his thoughts as Orlando flopped down on the armrest of his seat and leaned heavily against him. The beer bottle almost slipped out of Sean’s grip and he raised it up.

“Thanks, Orli. I almost ruined the rug,” he remarked, but couldn’t help but chuckle.

“They almost ruined your rug, Billy,” Dominic gasped without looking away from the TV as he was in the midst of slashing his way through the Trade Federation Battleship, struggling to lose Billy’s Jedi Master. “Your beautiful rug, Dude.”

Billy lowered the pitch of his voice and put on his best American accent. “That rug really ties the room together, doesn’t it?”

The only one who wasn’t laughing was Orlando.

“Did I miss anything?”

“What, you don’t know the Dude?” Dominic grinned. “You can also call him His Dudeness, or Dude, or El Duderino…”

“If you’re not into the whole brevity thing,” Billy added. 

“The legendary Lebowski?” Sean looked into Orlando’s still confused face and almost laughed out loud. Usually the Brits were the ones making their jokes that only they understood and he was lost. Though Elijah was gradually developing a sense to comprehend their humor.

“Duh, sorry,” Orlando crossed his arms and lifted his bent leg up on the armrest, acting insulted. “I don’t know every film. And how many times have you played that sodding game there anyway?”

“Ah, stop freaking,” Billy said. “Just a few more minutes until the other guests arrive.”

The backdoor opened and a wave of clove odor hit Sean when Elijah reentered the living-room. Closing the door again and crossing the room, Elijah grabbed his half-empty beer bottle from the table and sat down in the couch that Orlando had occupied before Elijah had left to have a smoke.

“They’re not here yet?”

“Nope,” Billy glanced over his shoulder as he was far behind in the game anyway. “Wanna take over? I think you’re the only one who can beat this numpty and I still have something to prepare.”

Elijah took a long swig of beer and smirked mischievously. “You might be right there. I have my ways to distract his concentration.”

“Should have known you two can’t keep it fair,” Billy taunted as he got up from the floor and walked into the kitchen.

Dominic let go of the control pad in his hand and called after him. “Hey, don’t toss me into the cheating pot.” Then he turned around in one swift movement and leaned back on his hands. “You’re ruining my honorable reputation, gay boy.”

“What honorable reputation?” Orlando frowned.

Dominic gasped and stared at Elijah who was grinning around the mouth of his bottle.

“Did you hear that?”

“He’s right. You’re a rotten soul,” Elijah shrugged nonchalantly and leaned back, taking another mouthful of beer.

Dominic tilted his head and looked at him with twinkling eyes. “You don’t wanna come home tonight…”

Putting on an extra guilty expression, Orlando lifted himself off his armrest. “Uh sorry,” he apologized for the second time and couldn’t help but ruffle Elijah’s hair. “Didn’t mean to cause any trouble in paradise.”

No, that’s really not your task, Sean thought to himself solemnly, keeping his bottle close to his face, like he was somehow trying to hide behind it.

Orlando stretched his arms and looked at the TV where the game was still on, but interrupted. “Star Wars,” he muttered and shook his head. “What’s the big deal with this anyway?”

“What is this blasphemy?” Dominic hissed in jest, very much aware though that Orlando was only saying this to tease him. The grin on Orlando’s face confirmed this.

“Without Star Wars, Dom wouldn’t even be here,” Elijah said, but the words suddenly got stuck in his throat as the deeper meaning of these words hit him.

“That’s right,” Dominic leaned back on his elbows and bent his knees. “It’s the reason why I became an actor. Blew me completely away when I saw it for the first time. I mean, seriously, what little boy didn’t wanna be Han Solo?”

The reason why he became an actor. Without it, he wouldn’t be here. Without it, he wouldn’t have been cast in Lord of the Rings. He wouldn’t have come to New Zealand and Elijah never would have met him. Let alone, fallen in love with him. Dominic had told him about the significance of Star Wars to him before, but somehow the profound meaning stroke Elijah just now. It was interesting to see how certain things were connected and how one little thing, like a movie, could lead to an essential one, such as love.

“Okay, but just look at the plot,” Orlando argued. “You could tell it to a three year old. The helpless princess who gets kidnapped and the brave knight who tries to rescue her…it’s like a fairytale.”

“A fairytale in space, with cool characters,” Dominic said and sat up again. “That was the revolutionary thing about it. The plot is like something out of a medieval tale, but it’s an awesome space adventure, like nothing you’ve seen before in films. And with the bloody best villain in film history.”

Orlando grinned and crossed his arms. “And what about Gollum?”

“He’s not a villain,” Elijah interjected. “He’s just a victim. Sauron is the real villain. But I have to admit, Darth Vader is a lot cooler.”

The doorbell interrupted their discussion.

“Billy!” Dominic shouted in a voice louder than would have been necessary. “Get your sexy arse in here, the missing souls are here!”

Billy came back from the kitchen a few seconds later and playfully pinched Dominic’s cheek as he passed him on his way to the door.

“Oh, what would I do without you, love?” 

“I know, I know. No need to thank me,” Dominic stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. Billy opened the door and was immediately pulled into a tight embrace.

“Happy birthday,” Viggo patted Billy’s back before releasing him again.

“Hey, leave something for the rest,” Liv’s soft voice demanded beside him and she put down the box she was carrying on the table next to the door, so she could hug the smaller man with a smile. “Happy birthday, Billy.”

Billy smiled and closed the door behind them. “Thank you! I’m glad you could make it.”

“Sorry, we’re late,” Liv apologized as Billy took their coats from them. Running a hand through her long hair, she glanced into the mirror on the wall and picked up the box again.

Viggo watched her amused, rubbing his cold hands together in an attempt to warm them up a little.

“Apologize for yourself, love. We could have been finished much earlier, if you hadn’t insisted on several takes of that scene.”

“I can imagine. Thank you,” Billy accepted the box from Liv. He could already smell what was inside. “It’s not very convenient for your birthday to be on a Monday anyway. Not that it matters what day of the week it is, with our schedule.”

“True enough,” Viggo smiled and let Liv enter the living-room first. 

He looked at her graceful frame as she went into the room. Her elfin look was really the only thing she had in common with the character she was playing. It was an undeniable fact that her beauty was almost unearthly and that she had an aura that put a spell on every male around her, but she was much more than that, like genuine, funny, caring. She could be goofy without ever losing the elegance that oozed from her. And she was girly without being too girly. Which was a good thing among such a crazy and male-dominated cast.

“Oh, I really missed you guys,” Liv said after they all hugged one another. 

“We missed you too, Princess,” Orlando put his arm around her shoulders as he looked at the box in Billy’s hands. “What’s that?”

“I guess only hobbits can smell that it’s something to eat,” Billy grinned and placed the carton on the table in front of the couch. He opened it and carefully lifted the round, chocolate cake out of it. On top of it, the number 32 was written with cream.

“Hey, that looks familiar,” Dominic remarked and feigned a hurt expression. “I thought the birthday cake you gave me was unique. Livvie Livvie, I’m very disappointed.”

“Well, it was,” Liv defended herself with laughter. “Yours had a 23 and it was made of chocolate only. Whereas this one has the reversed numbers, and there’s more to it than meets the eye.”

“Plus I helped her with yours,” Elijah wrapped his arms around Dominic’s waist and pressed his lips against a lightly stubbly cheek. Dominic stroked his fingers through Elijah’s soft hair and smiled at him.

“That makes it really unique.”

“Well, this cake is not just chocolate,” Liv said as Billy began slicing it into pieces. “I tried to add some whiskey aroma, but I have no idea if it worked and how it tastes.”

Billy’s eyes grew wide and he raised one of the slices to his nose. “How did you do that?” he asked, inhaling the odor and actually smelling a faint hint of the drink.

Liv smiled mysteriously and crossed her arms. “That’s my little secret.”

Viggo held up another package, but this one was smaller and it was wrapped up. “This is from Liv and me. An artistic collaboration.”

Putting the cake down on a plate, Billy rubbed his hands together and took the present. “A collaboration between you two? That can only be great, thank you!”

He cautiously removed the colorful paper and his eyes fell on a photo. He immediately knew who had taken it. Dominic, Elijah, Sean and Orlando gathered around him, each wanting to catch a glimpse at the same time. It was a black and white photography of Billy on set of the Amun Sûl Tower, dressed up in his hobbit costume and holding his dagger in a tight grip. The amazing thing was that it looked like Billy had been posing for the camera, but if he had, he would have remembered.

“It was on the first day of filming at Weathertop,” Viggo explained, stepping behind Billy and looking over his shoulder. “I was taking a break and you guys were getting ready for another scene. So, I took advantage of it,” he grinned.

“It’s great. I didn’t even notice that you were taking photos,” Billy traced the picture which was behind glass with a tender finger, like he was afraid he might break it, and then he touched the frame. Ornamental patterns were carved into it and the whole thing looked very professional.

“I made the frame,” Liv smiled and sat down in an armchair as she watched the bunch of boys in the middle of the living-room. “Don’t be envious, guys. When your birthdays come up, you may look forward to something similar.”

Elijah turned around and looked up at Viggo with admiring eyes. “How do you manage to take photos like these?” he asked, thinking about the photo of the four hobbits that Viggo had given him for his birthday

“Lots of practice and lots of passion, Elijah,” Viggo answered, putting a hand on Elijah’s shoulder. “You develop a sense for the right moment in the course of time and when to capture it perfectly. You don’t even have to think about it anymore. Those are usually the best pictures. And it’s never too late to start.”

Glancing at Dominic who was still studying the photo and the frame, Elijah smiled. Dominic had already picked up Viggo’s interest in photography and took his camera everywhere he went and Elijah thought he was mighty talented. Since they mostly went everywhere together, Elijah had never felt the urge to have a camera of his own. Plus he thought he would never be able to take better photos than Dominic anyway. But that might change now.

Eventually Billy could tear himself away from the present and leaned down to hug Liv.

“Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

“You’re welcome,” she said cheerfully and rubbed his back as she returned the hug. “Viggo really infects you with his creative bent.”

He does, Elijah thought and watched Billy pull Viggo into a grateful embrace. Since the divorce of his folks Elijah had always thought he was getting by just fine without a male parent in his life. He had resigned himself to the situation. It wasn’t like his father had been particularly present before the separation. He hadn’t supported his son’s acting career and Elijah couldn’t blame him for that. If he could blame him for something, it was staying behind in Iowa while Los Angeles became the center of his family. Elijah didn’t know everything and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. He was fine. He wasn’t missing anything. Or anyone. Sometimes he wondered if he was being unfair because of this. But deep inside he knew better. And fear had a lot to do with him not wanting to learn the whole truth. Maybe it was better to leave some things covered. Yes, he had been fine. But Viggo had stirred something inside him that he had thought was buried once and for all. The wish to have a father figure. A male authority figure that he hadn't really known for years. And Viggo was basically the coolest father one could wish for. He had taken a special place in Elijah’s heart and hopefully he would stay there.

“Hey there.”

The quiet, raspy voice that still managed to send shivers down his spine interrupted Elijah’s thoughts and he felt Dominic slip his arm around his shoulders.

“You look like you’re miles away.”

Elijah turned his head and smiled up at him. 

“Not exactly. Right here in this room.”

Of course Dominic had noticed that certain look which Elijah used to have whenever he was talking to Viggo and it warmed his own heart each and every time. Who wouldn’t want a daddy figure like Viggo, even if it was just a mental relationship? Elijah had never expressed it towards Dominic, but it was clear how he was feeling about the older man. And Elijah might not want to admit it to himself, but he needed someone like Viggo in his life. 

Kissing Elijah’s temple, Dominic sank down on the sofa and pulled him against him. In moments like these he realized just how glad he was that they had made the decision to come out to their friends. He couldn’t even remember how they had managed to keep themselves under control before. Billy placed the photo on the little coffee table next to the couch and smiled happily.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m dying to try that interesting cake.”

“You’re not the only one,” Orlando said, taking a pile of plates from him and handing them out to everyone.

The cake was actually pretty good and, contrary to what Billy had thought at first, it did not make anyone drunk. That task was up to the various other sorts of alcohol that he had stored, mainly beer and wine. God only knew how they would manage to get up tomorrow morning. It didn’t take long and Orlando was lying sprawled out on the broad sofa. One arm covered his eyes and his breathing became low and deep. Not even the music seemed to be able to distract him. Dominic chuckled as he watched him and opened another beer bottle. Orlando was really way too sensitive for a Brit.

“Poor guy,” Liv approached the couch and knelt down next to him, brushing her gentle hand through his hair. “I think I’ll stay the night and nurse him when he wakes up.”

“Mmm, that lucky bloke,” Dominic winked as she smiled at him. “Well, you would make a beautiful couple, if I may say so.”

Liv got up again and sat down on the armrest next to Orlando’s head. “You may, but for some strange reason I feel more like he’s my little brother. And I’m a few months younger than him! Besides, I believe a certain someone at home would object.”

Dominic laughed. “I guess you feel older because you’ve been in the business longer than he is. A lot longer, compared to him.”

“Hmm, my first big movie was four years ago,” she said, glancing down at Orlando’s face. Or rather the arm across his face. “This is his first big movie.”

“But he was in that British Oscar Wilde movie a while ago for like two seconds, playing a rentboy and Oscar Wilde becomes totally speechless and even gayer at his sight,” Dominic chuckled, his fingers beginning to peel the label off his bottle. “Should have gotten it on with Jude Law. Now that would have been hot.”

Liv crossed her arms and grinned. Gay men really were no different from girls. She saw how Dominic peeked out of the window where a small glowing point indicated the tip of the clove Elijah was sucking on. Viggo was standing in front of him and talking while Elijah was listening intently to every word.

“You two still going strong?” Dominic turned away from the window again as he heard the question. Even though he cast his eyes down for a moment like he was feeling embarrassed for having been caught in an intimate situation, Liv didn’t miss the sparkle in them.

“We are,” he said and looked up again, an infatuated smile on his face. “Surprisingly.”

“Surprisingly?”

“Yeah, you know…against all odds,” he gestured wildly at the last words and chuckled, trying to make it sound half as serious than it actually was.

Liv narrowed her eyes as she watched him. She could tell that Dominic wasn’t feeling as lighthearted about it as he pretended to.

“Forget about the odds,” she said firmly. “You’re together and those who are closest to you know about it. That’s all that really matters. Forget about everyone else.”

Gorgeous, nice and open-minded. A perfect woman, Dominic thought, and raised the bottle to his mouth.

“You’re a good lass, Liv,” he said and took a sip of beer.

“Lass.” she grinned. “Oh yes. The infamous British slang. There’s definitely something about it, but even more about the accent. You know, my boyfriend is from England.”

He nodded and grinned as well, the bottle still against his lips.

“Innocent slang though. You should hear the British swearwords that Billy and I taught Lij. I don’t think his mum would like me that much anymore if she knew it all.”

Laughing and unfolding her arms, Liv stood up from her armrest seat. 

“I said I missed you, but sometimes I’m glad that I don’t spend too much time in your company. Anyway,” she paused briefly as she stretched. “I think it’s time for me to go. It’s been a long day and I’m really tired.”

“See you around, love,” Dominic hugged her before letting her go and say good-bye to everyone.

Viggo insisted on joining her on her taxi ride home since he thought she shouldn’t be on her own at this time of day and after all they had arrived together, but she gratefully declined and was even a little amused by his, in her opinion, exaggerated concern. Yet Viggo was only being ever the gentleman that she cherished about him. Billy escorted her to the door and after one last embrace she made her way to the waiting car in his driveway. He watched as the driver opened the backdoor for her and when Billy was sure that Liv was brought home safely, he closed the door again. Just when he turned around, he found Sean standing in front of him. Billy jumped a little at the unexpected sight.

“Bloody shite, Sean,” he chuckled, pressing a hand over his pounding heart. “Don’t give me a heart attack on my birthday.”

Sean shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants and looked at the floor with an embarrassed smile. 

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” He looked up again and Billy could see a tinge of sadness in his eyes.

“I’m leaving, too. Don’t wanna risk not being able to get up tomorrow. It’s been a great night, Billy.”

Sean smiled again, but Billy didn’t smile back. They were still in the hallway that was separated from the living-room by a door, so right now they were by themselves. And Billy was glad about it.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Sean who was running a hand through his hair and grasping a few strands at the back of his head ceased all movements and looked at Billy with a frown.

“Just a little tired,” he said and judging by the tone of his voice, Billy could tell that Sean wasn’t even lying, but he wasn’t telling the whole truth either. Billy was a little surprised though that Sean didn’t once again use his family as a reason to leave.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Sean lowered his hand again and put it back into his pocket. “Why are you asking?”

Billy continued to stare at him with that knowing gaze and folded his arms across his chest.

“You’ve been pretty quiet tonight. Anything on your mind?”

“No.”

Sighing, Billy took a few steps towards him and lowered his voice.

“What is it?”

Sean wanted to turn away from those penetrating eyes, but it was impossible. If he hadn’t been so tired and weary, he would tried to use his best acting skills to somehow get out of the situation, but at the same time he knew that would have been in vain. Billy had noticed something and he could be damn stubborn if he wanted to.

“Why did you run out of the feet trailer the other morning? When Pete told us we had to do the scene for the third time?”

Sean sighed, his fingers fidgeting inside his pockets. No, Billy most certainly wouldn’t let him go anytime soon.

“I was just upset, is all,” he shrugged. “We all were. It’s understandable, isn’t it?”

“It is, absolutely,” Billy agreed. “But that’s exactly why we should stay together and support each other when something like that happens. Not just run off.”

“I didn’t run off,” Sean said desperately, not really wanting to spill everything here and now, but if Billy kept on pressing the matter like this, Sean knew he could give in eventually.

“I just…”

Billy raised his eyebrows as he waited for him to finish the sentence.

“I just wanted to get away…from them…,” Sean trailed off again and stared at the ground.

“Why?” Billy’s ever inquiring voice urged him to go on.

Sean didn’t look up. He just kept his eyes cast down, his hands in his pockets and stepped from one foot on the other. When he spoke again, the misery was clearly audible in his tone. 

“Because I had a bad conscience…and I felt guilty…and ashamed…”

Billy frowned as he watched this pitiful man in front of him and seeing him like this, when he had thought everything was alright again, left him even more confused.

“Wait,” he said after a few moments of silence and trying to figure Sean’s words out. “I thought you talked to Dom and Elijah and the three of you made up? At least that’s what Dom told me.”

Sean raised his right hand and rubbed his eyes which were dark-rimmed and glistening with unshed tears.

“We did,” he said quietly, struggling to keep his voice from breaking down. “But…it’s so hard. I don’t know what to do. I can’t help but think that I destroyed the friendship that we had and that it will never be the same again, even though they forgave me. We just can’t fix it. Elijah is so wonderful and acting like nothing happened between us, but it’s still gnawing at me, Billy. I can’t get it into my head. I just…shit…”

He lost the struggle and his voice collapsed. He didn’t know what else to say anyway. He had said it all, he had confessed it all to Billy, and in his own twisted way, he had reached out to him, in a desperate need for a helping hand. Feeling a firm hand on his arm, he finally looked up again.

“You think beating yourself up like this will make anything better, Sean? They know that you’re sorry and all they want is to be together without anyone harassing them. You regret what you did, they know it and they want to move on. But if you keep on acting like this, if you keep on beating yourself up and don’t forgive yourself, they can’t move on. You exclude yourself completely from the rest of us, probably because you think you don’t deserve to be in our company or whatever, but in fact you’re only making things worse between you and them. I know Elijah talked to you and reached out to you. Do you think he would have done that if he thought it was hopeless? If you want their friendship and trust back as much as you claim, then stop this self-punishing bollocks and do something. Moping won’t get you anywhere, believe me.”

Sean felt not only like his butt had been kicked painfully, but also like his head had been smashed against a wall repeatedly. He wasn’t quite sure what he had expected from Billy. Maybe a few nice words of advice, some sort of empathy, but Billy’s words actually felt like a long, painful punch. Painful because Sean realized how true they were and how blind he himself had been. No, not blind. Selfish and full of self-pity. It was hard not to think that he had ruined everything. But the last thing he wanted was to torment Dominic and Elijah even more with his behavior.

“I…I’m sorry,” he said after a while, his hand grasping at his hair, like he wanted to tear it out. “I…shit…I know I’m difficult. I…fuck…I don’t know what to say…”

Billy let go of his arm again and allowed his expression to soften a little. Despite what he had said, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for Sean. He knew how fond Sean was of Elijah and how much he was struggling. Billy doubted that Sean and Dominic would ever have a life-long friendship and he also doubted that Sean minded. But Elijah was a different story. He was an astounding, admirable and nice young man, the baby of the Fellowship, whom everyone had immediately taken to their hearts.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Billy told him. “You don’t have to bloody think about everything you say or don’t say. Just do everyone a favor and try to get over it. Or try harder to get over it.”

He pointed at the door to the living-room. “Now, since it’s my birthday and I’m allowed to wish for anything I want and none of my wishes may be denied, I wish for you to go back in there and finally go on with your life.”

Just in that moment the sound of laughter reached them from the room next door. A faint smile appeared on Billy’s face and he silently thanked whatever higher powers there were for this sentimental sign.

Sean turned his head and looked at the closed door. Then he turned to Billy again and before he even realized it, he flung his arms around him and was hugging him tightly. 

“Thank you,” he murmured and was glad when he felt Billy hug him back.

“Just fulfill my birthday wish,” Billy said as they pulled apart again and when Sean smiled at him and then really turned around to reenter the living-room, Billy realized it was the first honest smile he had seen on Sean’s face in a very long time.


	48. Chapter 48

The boat was floating just a few feet off-shore and Sean focused his eyes on it as he was standing right by the lake. His entire body was alert, especially his legs. When the cameras started rolling and the well-known “Action”-exclamation sounded through the megaphone, he broke into a sprint towards the water. The Elvish cloak was flying behind him, his hairy feet dashing over the sand and his breathing ragged. It was the third take and he grumpily noticed that he really wasn’t in the best shape. Which was not the worst thing for his role, on the contrary. He ran into the water, his gaze on the boat. He knew he would have to slow down any moment and begin to wade as the water was getting deeper. Then he would have to flail out of frame. He had done so during the past two takes.

But not this time. Sean was about two feet in the cold water when suddenly a sharp pain shot through his right foot. He could hardly put his weight on it anymore. With a strangled groan he reached for the boat right in front of him, clinging to it as he tensed up from the intense pain. A few seconds later someone was beside him and with the help of the crew member, Sean turned around and slowly managed to move back. At first he was still trying to walk, but it soon became impossible. Half hopping, half dragging himself, he reached the sandy shore and was immediately surrounded and supported by a bunch of other crew members who helped sit him down in his actor’s chair. He could determine the gravity of the injury just by looking at the faces around him. He himself did not see the blood streaming down his foot.

Peter was by his side in an instant.

“What’s wrong, Sean? What happened?” he asked anxiously. Luckily nobody of the cast had had to suffer any major injuries yet, except Viggo, but he had only broken his toe without complaining about it once and had merely asked for a dab of glue when his tooth had broken off.

“I stepped on something…went straight through my foot,” Sean grunted and took a deep breath. The pain was still immense, but at least he didn’t have to put any strain on it anymore. That made it reasonably bearable. His leg was lifted up and an emergency medical technical started to carefully cut off the prosthetic foot.

Elijah had kept himself a little further to the side, not wanting to be in the way as Sean had been helped to his chair. But now he moved to stand in front of his friend and stared at the bottom of the injured foot.

“The hobbits really are cursed,” he stated, leaning his hands on his knees as he bent down to have a better look on the sole. “First the splinter in Dom’s foot, doing the Grey Havens a hundred times, now another hobbit with a splinter…”

Despite the pain, Sean managed to laugh.

“Yeah, only this one here must be of titanium. Or whatever it may be. The other one was how long? An inch? And Dom was screaming like a baby.”

Elijah grinned right back into Sean’s face. “An inch can hurt just as bad.”

“Let’s hope it’s not titanium,” Peter said, stroking a hand through his ruffled beard. “And let’s hope the only damage it has done was ruining a prosthetic foot. It’s not good that we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

This was no understatement. It was mid-September when they started to film the breaking of the fellowship on the shore of the Mavora Lakes, a park area in the Southland region of the South Island. An impressive landscape with mountains, two large lakes, forest and tussock grassland. But as beautiful as it was, it was also about one and a half hours away from the next town and even further away from the next hospital.

Finally the prosthetics came off. Only now the grave extent of the wound became clear. The sole of Sean’s foot was practically impaled on a big shard of glass. The medic went on and when all the remains of the fake foot were off, he managed to pull the object out of the sliced skin.

Sean was clenching his teeth throughout the entire process and emitted a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank God,” he sighed, leaning back and even managing to form a smile. “Looks like I won’t lose my foot after all. Lucky you, New Line.”

“How could this happen?” Elijah asked and looked at Peter in confusion. “The lake was prepared, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Peter sighed, gazing at the shoreline and the water. “They ran a rake along the bottom to smooth things out and to make sure there’s nothing there that could hurt anyone. I guess something was churned up that had been buried in the sand. You can never be a hundred percent sure.”

At once, a stream of blood was pouring out of the sliced skin, but not just a simple stream. As soon as the medical technician had removed the prosthetics and the glass was gone, a huge blood clot got dislodged which landed on the ground with a disgustingly sounding splat. Everyone around him scrunched their faces, some even turned away in revulsion. Well, everybody save one person.

“Cool!” Elijah’s eyes grew wide at the sight which fascinated him in a rather strange manner. Then he looked at Sean’s heavily bleeding foot.

“Oh yes, it’s bleeding quite freely now,” the medic said as he commenced dressing the wound.

Elijah was still staring at the stream and couldn’t help but grin at the oddly absorbing scene.

“That’s a lot of blood, man!” he said and actually had to suppress a giggle. The tone of his voice was oddly admiring. Almost like he was making a compliment. “That’s a lot of blood.”

Sean looked at him amused. “Glad at least you are having fun, Lij.”

The globular red mass on the sand attracted Elijah’s attention again. It was slimy and glossy and really incredibly gross, but he couldn’t look away. Picking up a thin stick from the ground, he began poking at the blood clot, much to the disbelieving amusement of the people around him. Peter stared at him as if he had lost his mind.

“Oh come on, Elijah. Don’t do that,” he admonished with disgust.

Sean didn’t know what was funnier. Elijah’s repulsive act or the fact that it even sickened Peter Jackson, the master of splatter movies. He laughed as Elijah dropped the stick again and looked mildly embarrassed.

“Master Frodo can play with my clots anytime he wants to,” Sean joked which in fact made everyone laugh.

“I’m just fascinated by his blood clots,” Elijah chuckled, brushing a curl of his Frodo wig out of his face.

It was clear that Sean had to be taken to a hospital, so Peter arranged for a helicopter to fly him there. Christine and Alexandra arrived and accompanied him. Luckily, the pain in his foot subsided relatively quickly and once it was fainter, Sean actually found himself quite enjoying the attention. He felt sorry that there would be inconveniences now because of his injury, but the atmosphere on set was slightly bizarre. Of course the DVD crew was shooting non-stop and everyone was gathering around. Plus Sean always loved it when Elijah showed his geek side without even being aware of it. He was truly one of a kind. And they could laugh and joke together again. Sean had started to work harder on himself since Billy’s birthday and he could tell he was making progress, above all in his relationship with Elijah. He tried not to take everything so seriously anymore, especially himself. Dominic and Billy were good role models in this respect. Elijah had noticed the change as well. He didn’t know what had initiated it, but the past two weeks had been remarkable. Sean had become livelier and whatever weight had been on his shoulders seemed to be finally gone.

 

~**~

 

“Hello, sir,” Dominic grinned, leaning against the side of the car with crossed arms and peeking over the rim of his sunglasses.

“Lovely day, isn’t it? Can I take your beauty for a ride?”

Elijah approached him swiftly, his bag slung over his shoulder. When he reached him, he cocked his head with a playful smile.

“Hmm, thank you very much for the offer. You don’t happen to pass by Te Anau and could drop me off there?”

“You’re lucky. That’s exactly where I’m going,” Dominic took the bag from Elijah and opened the passenger door.

“What a coincidence,” Elijah slipped into the car while Dominic packed the luggage in the trunk and quickly got into the driver’s seat. Removing his shades, he took a look around in order to make sure that nobody was around and then looked into Elijah’s radiant, expectant face. Merely a second later their lips met for a brief yet deep kiss. After they pulled apart again, Dominic put his sunglasses back on and started the engine. Turning the car around, he slowly left the parking lot of the hotel in Queenstown.

It was the Friday afternoon after Sean’s accident, but it wasn’t just any Saturday. For the first time in ages both Dominic and Elijah had the weekend off and they were both on the South Island. While Dominic got to enjoy some more free time now and then, Elijah almost never had a day off, especially now, only three months before the end of principal photography. So they grabbed the opportunity along with Viggo’s rental car and planned a trip to Te Anau. It had been too long. Five months. Way too long. A weekend was short, but that wasn’t a bad thing. The longer they stayed in Te Anau, the harder it was to leave again. The week had been crazy, not just for Elijah and Sean. Orlando had fractured his rib when he had fallen off his horse with Gimli’s scale double. He had tried to act all cool about it, but he wasn’t that good of an actor. There was probably nothing more painful than a broken rib. Dominic was lucky that the worst thing that had happened to himself so far had been a little wooden splinter. And Elijah mainly suffered from cuts and bruises, like basically everybody else. Then again, if you didn’t get at least slightly injured at one point, you weren’t really in it enough.

After a two hour drive through the breathtaking Southland landscape, Dominic pulled the car into the familiar driveway. A few minutes later he stopped the car and turned off the engine. They were home.

As soon as the car was parked, Elijah opened the door, his feet touching the soft grass in front of their cottage. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he gazed at the house and the trees that surrounded it. Nothing had changed. He grinned and shook his head. What had he expected? Dominic left his sunglasses in the car and locked it before joining Elijah on the other side.

“We’re back! Nothing’s changed, huh?”

He didn’t quite understand why Elijah laughed at that, but as always it sounded like music in his ears. The weather was fantastic for an early spring day, the warm sunshine painting the magnificent nature in bright colors. Elijah immediately felt the stress of the week fall off him and he inhaled the fresh air.

“Let’s see if really nothing’s changed!” he exclaimed and broke into a run.

“Bloody minx!” Dominic laughed and rushed after him.

Elijah ran down the old, familiar path that led down to the lake and Dominic wondered when he had become so fast. Usually he was the one to be in a better shape. Maybe the physically demanding Frodo scenes had a positive side effect. Dominic caught up with him just as they reached the shore. Wrapping his arms around Elijah from behind, he lifted him a little off his feet and twirled him around. Elijah shrieked and then laughed like a maniac, but only mildly struggled against Dominic’s comfortable grip. Their mirthful fight caused them both to stumble and fall to the ground. Elijah was panting heavily, partly from the sprint and partly from laughing as he ended up lying on his back with Dominic on top of him.

“Gotcha,” Dominic smiled, moving his hands up to raise Elijah’s arms up over his head and pin him down.

“Thought you could escape me, hmm?”

“Why would I want to escape you?” Elijah asked, his panting lessening and his voice low and tempting.

“I just love having you on top of me like this…by the lake…I knew exactly that we would end up like this…”

“I bet you did,” Dominic looked down at him, his mind hardly able to form a proper thought. He forgot everything around them as all he could do was gaze at Elijah’s face which was flushed from the run and even more beautiful than usual in the bright sunlight. Elijah’s lips were slightly parted since he was still panting a little and smiled a happy smile at the same time. His eyes traveled from Dominic’s eyes to his mouth and back up to his eyes. Dominic wanted to move, but he couldn’t. He wanted to lean down and capture Elijah’s mouth in a fiery kiss, but he found himself momentarily knocked out totally. Nothing worked anymore, except for his eyes that were glued to the man beneath him. Finally his mind managed to make his body obey him again. Lowering his head, Dominic pressed his mouth against Elijah’s and started kissing him like he had wanted to the whole time. Elijah had been eagerly waiting for this since he himself couldn’t move. After all Dominic still had him trapped underneath him and held his hands tightly above his head. He sighed softly, his tongue swirling around Dominic’s and completely surrendering himself to the moment. Dominic let go of Elijah’s hands and put his fingers on the flushed cheeks that he had admired just before the kiss. Elijah’s arms found their place around Dominic’s neck and he buried his fingers in that shaggy hair. Eventually the kiss came to an end and Dominic became aware of their surroundings again. They were at the lake, out in the open, potentially visible for other people. He looked across the water. He wasn’t even nervous. In fact, he couldn’t care less. He wasn’t even relieved when he saw nobody, not even a single boat.

“Don’t worry. There’s no one here, just us,” Elijah’s gentle voice told him and Dominic looked down again.

“You’re telling me not to worry?” he grinned, once again captured by the sight underneath him. He helped Elijah sit up.

“You’ve got sand in your hair,” he chuckled, tousling the dark strands until it was all gone. Elijah kept his arms around Dominic and slid them down from his neck to around his waist as he nuzzled up against him.

“Mmm, who cares,” he kissed Dominic once more before pressing his cheek against Dominic’s as they took in the view of the lake and the mountain range on the far side. Dominic moved his hand slowly up and down Elijah’s back, feeling the warm skin beneath the fabric of his t-shirt. They were sitting like this for a few silent minutes, savoring the scenery that they had missed so much and above all the peaceful moment with each other.

Elijah turned his head and placed a soft kiss on Dominic’s cheek, keeping his lips there as he murmured against the freshly shaven, smooth skin.

“I love you.”

Dominic closed his eyes and smiled, feeling warm all over.

“I love you too, baby.”

Elijah left a few more feather-light kisses on the side of Dominic’s face and then pressed his mouth against the shell of Dominic’s ear.

“I’m so glad we could get away for the weekend.”

“Me too,” Dominic sighed, thoroughly enjoying the caress by Elijah’s lips. “I’m sorry I neglected you lately. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Elijah pulled away just an inch and smiled.

“What? You didn’t neglect me. We were all busy. Not much time for romance.”

He kissed a trail over to the corner of Dominic’s mouth and when he got there, Dominic claimed those enticing lips for a passionate kiss that left them both pretty breathless.

“Mmm, I have a surprise for you,” Dominic said when they pulled apart and by the tone of his voice, the grin on his face and the sparkle in his eyes Elijah could tell that it was not a surprise you got every day.

“Really? Now what might that be?”

“You’ll see. I very much hope you’ll like it. Remember when you asked me if there was something that could make our lives even more exciting?”

Elijah stared at him, right away knowing what particular sort of excitement Dominic must be alluding to. He knew he would never in a million years figure what exactly Dominic had in mind, but that was just another thing he loved about him.

“Now you got me curious. What is it?”

“Like I said,” Dominic’s grin got even broader. He loved that clueless look on Elijah’s face. “You’ll see.”

“Dominic fucking shitload of middle names Monaghan, you’re such a fucking mean fucker sometimes,” Elijah mildly complained and Dominic laughed at the string of f-words, not that it was untypical of Elijah.

“I know, but you’ll just have to live with it,” Dominic winked, kissing Elijah’s teasingly pouting lips.

After getting their stuff from the car and roughly dusting off the interior of the cottage, they took a stroll along the shore of the lake, happy that they could do so without encountering anyone. This way they could hold hands the entire time, something that any other couple took for granted but was a luxury for Dominic and Elijah. Then they drove to town to get some groceries for the weekend. Supper was spent on the cozy couch in front of the TV.

Putting his empty plate down on the table, Elijah crossed his legs and rested his chin on his folded hand. He eyed Dominic who had just finished his meal as well and who was now grabbing his half empty glass of Coke. Of course Dominic noticed Elijah’s intense look, so he turned his head and tried to suppress a grin as he found Elijah staring at him with almost overwhelming intensity and a composed smirk.

“What?” Dominic raised an eyebrow, acting as if he was totally clueless and oblivious.

“Give it up.”

“What?”

“You can give me my surprise voluntarily or not. I’ll get it anyway. But voluntarily would make it a lot quicker.”

“Oh,” Dominic sipped his Coke calmly. “But I’m not quite sure if I want it to be quick. Actually,” he paused and let the glass linger against his lips in a rather enticing manner, hoping the sight would distract Elijah a little. But in fact it only made it worse.

“I’d love for it to be slow, so we can enjoy every second.”

Elijah’s smirk turned into a wide grin.

“Okay, you had your fun. Now, pretty pretty please.”

“Hmm, how can I resist that begging?” Dominic downed the rest of his drink and stood up, pulling Elijah with him. Would Elijah still be so curious once he saw what surprise Dominic had in store for him? Or would he freak and call Dominic a crazy and disgusting fucker? Probably the latter. There was only one way to find out. Dominic led him into the bedroom and pulled his bag out from under the bed. He opened it and handed a small plastic bag to Elijah.

“Here you are, your surprise. Or rather the way to your surprise,” Dominic said in a low voice that still held a seductive tone.

Elijah had no idea why he was so nervous all of a sudden. It couldn’t be anything bad, right? He reached into the bag and pulled out a box. His fingers trembled lightly as he opened it. The object it contained was basically a small bulb with a syringe attached to it.

“What is this?” he asked when he was finally able to pull his gaze away from the thing in his hands and looked at Dominic with those big wondering eyes that Dominic knew he would see.

Biting down on his bottom lip, Dominic grinned to himself as he relished the endearing expressions on Elijah’s face.

“It’s an anal douche, Lij. Or a rectal douche or anal enema, though an enema can hold more water. There are many names.”

“What?” Elijah blinked, studying the thing once more. “What for?”

“Well, as the name says, it’s to clean your rectal area,” Dominic said and the grin seemed to be permanently frozen on his lips.

“But,” Elijah looked from the little object up into Dominic’s eyes again. He really has no bloody clue, isn’t he the most adorable thing ever, Dominic thought amused, resisting the urge to grab Elijah and snog him senseless right here and now.

“Why?”

“It’s rather simple. You fill the bulb up with warm water by removing the tip and running it under the tap or you can squeeze the bulb and immerse it in a container of water and the suction effect draws the water in. You lubricate the end of the douche and the opening of your anus and insert the tip. Then you press the bulb and the water gets dispensed into your rectum. This way your anal area gets cleaned gently. And when you’re finished, you pull the tip out again and push the water out with your rectal muscles.”

Dominic stopped his sober, matter-of-fact explanation for a moment, silently enjoying the bewildered reactions on Elijah’s face. He smirked when he spoke again.

“And once you’re clean, my mouth will be delighted to show you just how much pleasure you can feel.”

The whirlwind of emotions in Elijah’s wide blue orbs couldn’t have been any clearer and as always Dominic was able to read it like a book. Not that it was very difficult to tell what someone like Elijah was thinking in this moment. Confusion, disbelief and uncertainty were the most obvious feelings. Elijah was twisting and turning the thing in his hands as he stared at the madman in front of him.

“Wait…let me get this straight…,” he began, his throat suddenly dried out and sore. “There are seriously people who…with the mouth…I mean…down there!?”

Dominic laughed and nodded.

“That’s right.”

This laughter triggered something inside Elijah and his face broke into a grin. Of course, that must be it.

“You’re fucking around with me again, aren’t you? It’s one of your epic jokes, right? Did you come up with it or did Billy help you? Fuck it, you two get me each and every time!”

Dominic shook his head and smiled softly, stepping a little closer. Elijah’s reaction was not surprising, but it amused Dominic that Billy was pulled into this as well.

“Lijah, I swear, it’s not a joke. There are gays who take great pleasure in this action and others don’t. Consider this a simple offer. We don’t have to do anything, but when you looked at me with your beautiful big blue and curious eyes back then, I just couldn’t resist and thought I’d show you this. You know, as a suggestion. Think about it and if you still find it disgusting then, we’ll forget about it.”

Elijah looked down at the bulb in his hands once more. When he looked up again, there was mainly curiosity in his expression.

“Have you done this before? I mean…has anyone ever done this…with you?”

“Someone did it with me once, yeah,” Dominic said. “Well, he was the active one and I was the passive one.”

“And…did you like it?” Elijah asked, a glimmer of curiosity forming somewhere deep inside him and he couldn’t believe it was actually there.

“I did. It’s not for everyone, but you don’t find out unless you try it out yourself,” Dominic told him and took one of his hands in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Pressing his lips together tightly, Elijah contemplated.

“I see there’s a lot of stuff I still don’t know about,” he said after a while and then added incredulously: “It really doesn’t disgust you?”

Dominic smiled.

“It’s not disgusting if you use this syringe. Lijah, your bottom is a part of your body, just like your penis is. When a man goes to the toilet, he pees with his penis, yet no one seems to find blow jobs disgusting. But if you take the other...well...area, everyone freaks and finds it disgusting. Why? It can be stimulated just as well as the penis. And if it’s clean, there’s really nothing yucky about it.”

Elijah stared at him for a moment and then he just had to laugh, despite the absurd truth he saw in Dominic’s words.

“Are we really having this conversation?” he asked, mainly laughing about the bizarre situation.

“I’m afraid so,” Dominic grinned and pulled Elijah closer, wrapping his arms around him.

“But at least I broadened your knowledge a little more. Think about it and take your time, baby. Remember, it’s only a suggestion.”

Elijah hugged him back, still holding the little bulb in his hand and he fumbled with it behind Dominic’s back. Looking up into his eyes, he swallowed and then smiled, almost shyly.

“Dom? If I use this, I’d like to do it alone. Would that be okay? I think I’d feel a little embarrassed if you were there and...watched me...”

Dominic chuckled and kissed him briefly yet reassuringly.

“Of course. I wanted to be alone as well when I used it for the first time. I completely understand. Just know that whatever you do, nothing could ever be embarrassing in my eyes.”

The shy smile turned into a bigger, relieved smile and Elijah kissed him again. A kiss that soon turned into something more passionate and consuming and ended with Dominic and Elijah lying in bed as night was falling, naked, sweaty and completely sated. Dominic’s surprise was on the nightstand, still unused. It wasn’t needed, not yet. Now all they needed was each other.


	49. Chapter 49

Dominic chewed on the nail of his thumb as he looked at the television screen. It was definitely strange, watching himself act and he wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to it. With “Hetty Wainthropp Investigates” it hadn’t been quite as bad. His role had been cheeky, boyish and humorous and there hadn’t really been much that he could have done wrong. “Monsigneur Renard”, however, was a different matter. He was glad that it was almost over and the ending titles would come soon. It was some pretty heavy, dark material and his character played a major role in the final part. Dominic remembered that particular filming day very well, especially the fears he had harbored. It had been difficult and tough, but somehow he had managed to pull it off. At least he had thought he had. Watching the result now gave him a strange feeling. He noticed a hundred things he could have done better in order to be more convincing. But in the end, the most vivid memory he connected to this project was the phone call he got, on that July evening over a year ago. His agent informing him that Peter Jackson wanted him as Meriadoc Brandybuck. And how his life had changed completely after that call, leading him where he never thought he would end up, not in a million years. 

Dominic stopped analyzing his acting and dwelling on his thoughts and memories and glanced aside. Elijah was sitting next to him on the couch, his legs drawn up to his chest and his arms hugging them tightly. His chin was resting on his knees and his eyes stared at the television. He looked like a pitiful, wretched bundle. But the most striking thing that made Dominic resist the urge to pull him into his arms were the tears which were streaming down Elijah’s face. He wasn’t even sniffing or sobbing. He was just sitting there, crying silently. Dominic was a little taken aback by Elijah’s heavy reaction, but he didn’t want to move and comfort him either. Elijah was visibly absorbed in the film and Dominic was reluctant to rip him out of this.

The end credits began to roll and when they ended, Dominic picked up the remote control and turned the tape off. Casting another glance to his side, he saw that Elijah’s eyes were still fixed on the TV, like he hadn’t noticed yet that it was switched off. After what seemed like an eternity to Dominic, Elijah turned his head and looked at him. He didn’t change his position, he just pressed his cheek against his knees and then his lips formed a small smile.

“Wow,” he uttered with a soft voice. “That was better than expected.”

Dominic smiled right back at him and finally dared to reach out and wipe away some of the tears on Elijah’s cheeks. “I can tell.”

Elijah wasn’t even aware that he had been crying until he felt Dominic’s fingers on his wet face. Wiping at his eyes, he leaned back on the sofa. “Much better than expected. Why were you so pessimistic about your performance?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure how it would come across in the series at the end,” Dominic explained and emitted a chuckle. “I’m still not quite sure. You know the feeling when you watch your own movies and constantly think about what you could have done better?”

Elijah nodded. “Of course. Everyone does.”

“And it was my first big, serious role and it ended tragically. So…I had no idea if I could pull it off,” Dominic draped his arm over the backrest of the couch and seized a strand of Elijah’s hair with two fingers. “But seeing you now, I must have done something right.”

Elijah smiled, a little embarrassed. “I’m just a sensitive girl. But you know…looks like you had the same issues that I had with playing Frodo. I thought I would fuck it all up and you were afraid you might fuck this role up, hmm?”

“Oh, but my fear was nothing compared to your fear, Lij,” Dominic said, his fingers playing with Elijah’s hair. “I never thought about quitting. Even if I had wanted to quit, it wouldn’t have been possible. I just had to struggle through it and use the acting skills that I had. They weren’t the best, but I did what I could...”

“Are you kidding me?” Elijah interrupted him seriously. “You were great. You might not be able to see it yet, but you’ve got a lot of talent, Dom. You’re still young and at the beginning, but you’ll get better and better. You’ve got a great career ahead of you. Trust me, I know potential when I see it.”

Dominic stopped caressing the soft strand for a moment. He felt beyond touched and he knew Elijah hadn’t just said that because he was biased. Elijah truly believed in him. If his tears hadn’t made that clear enough, his words had. In fact, just one look into his face left no doubt.

“I love you, Lijah,” Dominic smiled and was rewarded with a cheeky grin.

“Hmm, you’re lucky,” Elijah removed his arms from around his legs and leaned over. “I love you, too.”

Cupping the lovely face before him, Dominic could feel that Elijah’s cheeks were still a little moist from the tears and he gently moved his thumbs over the skin as they kissed. He hadn’t expected to finish watching the series this weekend, but he had brought the tape with him anyway. It wasn’t as sunny as it had been on the day before, so they had settled down on the living-room sofa for quite an emotional Saturday afternoon. And the emotions were now shifting from moved and touched to rather passionate. Still Elijah pulled away again and opened his eyes.

“Supper and then let’s see what the evening brings? I’m kind of starving.”

“Oh, we’ve got to prevent that, hmm?” Dominic grinned and kissed Elijah once more before moving and pulling both of them up from the couch. He immediately missed the contact, but even he had to admit that some physical needs were more important than others at times. Besides, they still had all night.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t start without me,” Elijah turned and headed into the bathroom.

“I wouldn’t dare,” Dominic grinned, kneeling down and pulling the video tape out of the player. Then he went into the kitchen.

Small raindrops began to fall against the window, gradually becoming more and heavier. Elijah left the bathroom and hurried over into the bedroom to close the big window they had opened earlier in order to let some fresh air in. Looking out for a moment, Elijah watched the outside world getting drenched. This changeable weather was typical of the Fiordland region and rainfall could be high due to the mountain range. Elijah, however, found it incredibly romantic. He remained standing in front of the window and observed how the drops were sliding down the glass and then he turned around to help Dominic with the food. He could just gaze at the landscape all day, rainy or sunny, but without the man in the kitchen it was only half as beautiful. That thought put a silly grin on his face. Sometimes he was just too sappy for his own good. It was still difficult for him to figure out his feelings. They were too intense at times and too overwhelming, yet they made him happier than anything else. How could one person be the reason for this? It was strange, overpowering and absolutely exciting. Because Dominic was all this in Elijah’s eyes. He captured him and fascinated him and excited him and loved him beyond words. Elijah often wondered how this was possible, but it always came down to the same answer. There was none. He didn’t have to understand how something between two people could be this passionate and powerful. Sure, he could list a hundred reasons why Dominic infatuated him like no other, but the intensity of it could become a little scary. It would hit him like a wave and not let him go anymore. Like in this very moment, so he had to pull himself out of it.

Elijah was about to cross the room when he spotted something from the corner of his eyes. He stopped and faced the nightstand. The syringe with the little bulb was still lying on top of it, just where he had put it the night before and not touched it since. He had to grin again. Only Dominic could have come up with something like this. Well, what had he expected? Of course Dominic would come up with something like this. And Elijah didn’t care that he was hopelessly biased. The grin seemed to be permanently etched into his face. Shaking his head at himself, he chewed on his bottom lip and glanced at the floor, only to eventually lift his eyes again and stare at the fascinating object on the nightstand. Before Elijah was actually aware of it, he was holding it in his hand and looked at the open bedroom door. What the hell…why not? he thought, mentally kicking his own butt. If he had always been reluctant and shied away from everything he had been nervous or anxious about, he wouldn’t be where he was today. He had been scared of facing the Frodo role, but it had brought him here, into the company of all these amazing, creative people. Into Dominic’s company. He had been shit nervous about diving into the relationship and even tried to fight it, yet it turned out to be the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had dreaded to come out to his family, especially his mother, but everyone had been most understanding and supporting. All of this had helped to shape him and find out who he really was. What was this little syringe compared to that? This time Elijah didn’t grin. He giggled and then he headed for the bathroom.

The music was blaring from the radio as Dominic was standing in front of the kitchen counter, moving his hips to the rhythm. He swung pots and pans around while some charts show entertained him with the latest song of Mr. Robbie Williams. He would never admit it, least of all to Elijah, but he was really digging that man. Maybe Elijah didn’t know him anyway, seeing how he wasn’t successful in America. Yeah, right. You’re dealing with Elijah “walking music encyclopedia” Wood here. Humming along to the song, Dominic grinned and opened the fridge.

“Hey, Mr. Rock DJ,” the soft, loving voice called from the kitchen door. Dominic continued rummaging around in the fridge and strangely he didn’t feel caught in the act. His hips still moved to the music and he grinned to himself as he placed a couple of groceries on the counter, not turning around.

“You’re the talented DJ. I’m just the woman in the background who supports her man,” he said and closed the fridge.

“Uh-uh, now you know that’s not true,” the voice replied in a slightly purring tone. “We’re a team. And I thought I’m the girl in the relationship?”

Filling one of the pots with water, Dominic stopped moving his hips as the song came to an end. Later on he couldn’t remember what song had followed, let alone what meal he had been going to cook. It all turned into a blurry memory the moment he turned around.

“And what a girl…oh my…”

It wasn’t exactly news that Elijah managed to take Dominic’s breath away and get his mind so tousled up that he couldn’t form a proper thought anymore, but this time it hit him harder than ever. He stared at the young man who was leaning back against the door-frame, his arms folded across his chest and a casual smile on his lips. Like it was the most normal thing in the world to be standing there…in all his naked glory, not wearing an inch of clothing. Well, at least not when they had been about to cook dinner. It didn’t occur very often that Dominic was at a loss for words, therefore Elijah enjoyed the situation even more. He swore he could feel Dominic’s eyes all over him, scanning his body as if he was seeing it for the first time, his brain going numb and focusing on only one thing. Elijah had to struggle to keep control over himself and not just jump into Dominic’s arms.

Eventually Dominic’s eyes traveled north again and met Elijah’s mischievously sparkling blue orbs.

“What in the name of Lennon have I done to deserve this?” he managed to ask once he regained his ability to speak. And not just that. His legs seemed to move on their own, as if something was pulling on him, like a magnet. He knew that wasn’t so far-fetched, looking at the man in front of him. 

“Oh, you know very well what you’ve done,” Elijah said, thoroughly savoring the affect he had on Dominic. “You practically asked for it when you gave me that little present, so I’m afraid you’ll have to live with the consequences.”

Dominic came to stand right before Elijah and blinked as the meaning of those words hit him. The present…the look on Elijah’s face when Dominic had given it to him...and what Elijah had said then...now he was standing here. Nude and...ready? Could it be? Did Elijah really offer this part of himself to Dominic?

“Lijah, did you...I mean...really?” Dominic stammered, causing Elijah’s up to now controlled face to show his amusement. In moments like this he got to be the dominant one and he loved it. Not that they weren’t equal parts of one whole, but Dominic had always been the teacher due to his experience and Elijah had soaked up everything new and exciting. Once he had committed himself to Dominic with his body and soul, Elijah had found himself to be open for anything. It was as simple as this. He developed a commitment and trust for Dominic that knew no boundaries. He remembered their first time and how perfect it had been. And it had been perfect because he had given himself over to Dominic completely, with all his nervousness and inexperience. The pain had been inevitable, but it had been worth it. More than that, only Elijah couldn’t put it into words. There was something between them now that could never be destroyed again. A connection that went beyond everything. Elijah was so in love with this unique man and his willingness to do this little kinky thing was only a minor stone in the great building that was their relationship. 

Unfolding his arms, Elijah looked up at Dominic with those incredibly bright, shiny eyes and his voice still held that purring tone.

“Yes, I really did. If you still want to...”

Dominic laughed. “If I still want to? Hell, if you weren’t hypnotizing me with those breathtaking eyes of yours, you’d already be in heaven.”

“Hmm okay, I better close them then,” Elijah teased and Dominic watched how flawlessly pale eyelids with perfectly shaped lashes slowly covered the penetrating blue that he could drown in forever. Dominic’s own eyes dropped from the lids to the beautiful mouth he had spent kissing for hours and hours with that plump bottom lip and thin upper lip. How could this barely legal young man be this gorgeous? Dominic didn’t know. All he knew was that he had to stop marveling at the beauty in front of him and just kiss it. So he leaned forward and closed the last remaining space between them to press his lips against Elijah’s while his arms pulled the soft, naked body against his chest. But he didn’t stay there very long as Dominic’s hands slid downwards and gripped the back of Elijah’s smooth thighs. Elijah immediately took the hint. Locking his arms tightly around Dominic’s neck, he hopped up and wrapped his legs around Dominic’s waist. Their lips always stayed together, even on the way to the bedroom. It wasn’t the first time that Dominic was carrying Elijah like this, so he managed to cross the distance just fine without bumping against any disturbing objects. Months of practice had turned him into quite an expert. 

When he felt his legs collide with the edge of the bed, he slowly lowered the precious body in his arms down onto the mattress. But of course that was no reason to interrupt the non-stop kissing. Elijah pulled Dominic’s still fully clothed body against his nude one, his fingers finding their much loved place in Dominic’s ruffled hair. For a few minutes they did nothing but kiss ever so softly, despite the intense heat and passion that was growing with every second. 

Eventually it was Dominic who removed his mouth from Elijah’s, but only far enough to be able to look into Elijah’s slowly opening eyes. The trust, devotion and pure love he could see in the mesmerizing blue nearly knocked him senseless. Dominic’s right hand was positioned at the side of Elijah’s face and his thumb gingerly stroked the skin there. He would never understand how any human being that wasn’t a baby could have skin this smooth and soft.

“Baby…do you really want to do this?” he asked, a loving smile lingering on his lips. “You don’t have to do this just for me. You know that. The pervert in me won’t be grumpy.”

Elijah chuckled. “Well, maybe you’re not the only one who’s got a pervert inside you. Besides, you should know by now that I trust you with everything. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have told you about all my insecurities and my family issues. And I would have chickened out and not given my virginity to you.”

“Hmm yes, those are good points,” Dominic said, once again feeling unbelievably blessed and honored by what Elijah was offering to him. Emotionally as well as physically. If there ever were impassable barriers between them, they were long gone. From the moment when Elijah had first confided in him and entrusted all his issues to him, Dominic had become this very special person in Elijah’s life. And he did not intend to lose that status ever again.

“But if you change your mind and I do something you don’t like and you don’t feel comfy anymore, let me know, alright?”

Elijah smiled at the concerned words he had already heard before their first time. He still couldn’t imagine that Dominic was able to do something to make him feel uncomfortable. “I trust you, so you trust me as well, okay?”

Dominic let out a sharp breath and he had to lean down and release his stormy feelings through a brief yet firm kiss before he could answer with a voice that was still full of heavy emotions. “Oh baby, of course I trust you. There was never a moment when I didn’t.”

“Hey, I know you do,” Elijah reached up, letting his fingers dance over Dominic’s chin. “Don’t take me literally.”

Dominic couldn’t help the wicked smirk that spread on his face. “Oh, I am taking you…but not literally,” he added with a grin.

“Really?” Moving his other hand down to the hem of Dominic’s muscle shirt, Elijah wormed his way underneath the fabric. “I’m afraid you’re still wearing way too much for that.”

“As long as you’re not wearing anything…,” Dominic felt cool hair brush against his back as his shirt was pulled up and tossed into a corner of the room. Then he lowered his mouth down on Elijah’s once more while eager hands cupped his buttocks that were still covered by his sweatpants. The light pressure on his butt caused Dominic to sigh and groan quietly as his growing erection pressed against the material of his pants. Needing some friction, he began to grind down on Elijah’s bare thigh. As much as Elijah loved the feeling of the hard bulge against his leg, he had mercy and pushed the disturbing piece of clothing over Dominic’s butt. Dominic wriggled out of the pants and they joined his shirt in the corner. Finally he could settle his entire naked body down on top of Elijah’s. 

Outside the raindrops were still hitting against the window and it had become quite windy. The temperature inside seemed to have increased by ten degrees within the past five minutes. Elijah had his fingers buried in Dominic’s hair as his other hand was back on Dominic’s firm butt. Moaning softly and quietly, he opened his legs a little further and bent his knees lightly, relishing the constant contact of their erections that were trapped between their groins. Dominic moved his slender fingers up and down Elijah’s left thigh, moaning as their cocks kept slipping and sliding against each other. Additionally, Elijah gave his buttock a squeeze over and over again. However, their intertwined tongues and locked lips had to separate since both guys were panting heavily by now and desperately needed to breathe. It was most often like this. Deep, feverish kisses that neither of them wanted to end, but which left them gasping for air. 

Dominic opened his eyes and looked down at Elijah’s lightly flushed face with a small smirk. “I hope for your sake that you really used the syringe. You still wanna do this, yes? You’re not taking the piss for some sort of revenge on the evil Brits and their humor?”

“Me? Taking the piss?” Elijah giggled. “I’m the little, innocent boy. I would never do such a thing.”

“Not little and definitely not innocent,” Dominic objected jokingly.

“Yes, I still wanna do this. And if I used it right, you have nothing to worry about,” Elijah winked up at him.

Dominic laughed. “Oh, I’m not worried. I love everything about you, every little thing, no matter what it looks like or what it feels like or what it tastes like.”

Elijah stared at him for a moment, as if Dominic had completely lost his mind, and then he giggled in disbelief. “Ewww Dom, that’s so gross! I wouldn’t want to…you know…no matter how much I love that person.”

Laughing out loud, Dominic looked at the adorable man beneath him amused. “Ha, this is how you take the piss, my dear. Strong is the British humor. Mind what you have learnt. Save you it can.”

Elijah’s eyes grew wide as he realized he had been fucked with once again and he chuckled, playfully hitting Dominic’s shoulder. “Fucking cunt! Shut up and kiss me, Yoda.”

And Dominic gladly obeyed. All his gathered breath got sucked out of him as he crashed his lips against Elijah’s. The mood immediately changed from lighthearted and humorous back to passionate and fiery. Still the kiss didn’t last very long. Dominic left Elijah’s delicious mouth and moved down his flawless body, kissing and sucking every inch of skin he passed on his way down to Elijah’s groin. Elijah closed his eyes in pure bliss, his hands gripping the pillow underneath his head. He would never get tired of the feeling of Dominic’s lips on him, orally cherishing his body from head to toe. Whenever Elijah did this for Dominic, he got to enjoy manly, muscular parts, areas that were covered by hair and strong features. Then he wondered what it was like for Dominic in a situation like this right now. Dominic had often told him how beautiful, smooth, pale and soft his skin was and how much it fascinated him, but it was hard for Elijah to imagine how a body like his could turn someone on. He was slender, boyish, didn’t really have muscles and had the skin of a newborn baby. Yet Dominic seemed to like it. No, not like it, love it. Sighing in pure bliss, Elijah stopped pondering as Dominic reached his belly and dipped his tongue into his navel. His semi-erect cock grew hard again and he felt it press against Dominic’s chest. Obviously Dominic noticed it as well as just a second later Elijah moaned out loud and let go of the pillow to grasp Dominic’s hair. Hot wetness surrounded his penis and Elijah threw his head back, resisting the immediate urge to thrust for now.

Sliding his lips up and down the rigid shaft, Dominic savored how Elijah became even harder inside his skilled mouth. He increased the pressure slowly and hummed around the length, sending delicious vibrations through it. A low moan from Elijah’s mouth and the slow rocking of his hips proved that this action was indeed very much appreciated. Dominic pulled his head back but kept the sensitive tip of the cock in his mouth, letting Elijah thrust slowly and without stimulating the gag reflex. All his senses were consumed by this one man who was giving so much to him so willingly. Sharing this with Elijah always went beyond any physical act. In moments like this, when they were lying together with nothing between them, it felt like their connection and bond grew even stronger. He doubted anyone would ever be able to understand it. Eventually Dominic placed his hands on Elijah’s hips to keep them from moving and then lifted himself up on all fours. Elijah opened his eyes as the wonderful mouth left his cock and looked up at him, panting lightly. Dominic crawled up to his face and leaned down to give him a quick kiss. He swore he could grasp the anticipation and desire.

“Mmm, turn around, baby. Get comfy, on your side would be best,” he said huskily and smiled at Elijah who returned the smile. Dominic felt his heart skip a beat at the sight. There was nothing more beautiful than a nude, aroused Elijah who was grinning at him exactly like this.

“Okay, but careful, you know how easily I fall asleep,” Elijah chuckled and turned around until he was lying half on his side and half on his stomach, his left leg bent and his right leg straight.

Dominic was now straddling Elijah’s right leg and smirked down at him. “Oh, I’ll make sure you won’t fall asleep. At least not within the next minutes.”

Bending down, he attached his lips to Elijah’s shoulder-blade and, just as he had done earlier, kissed his way down the body, the spine, the small of Elijah’s back until he reached the perfectly round buttocks. Elijah closed his eyes again, but didn’t move. Only his hands did, his fingers grabbing the sheets beneath him. When he felt Dominic’s mouth on his left butt-cheek, he hissed quietly and started to pant. It wasn’t like Dominic had never been right there before. But he had never gone any further than this. Elijah’s entire body tensed up in anticipation and he swallowed hard.

Dominic looked at the almost glowing skin in front of him and licked his lips. He tried to grasp what he was about to do, but it was difficult. This most intimate of acts was something he had never done before. He might be an experienced, open-minded and often kinky bloke, but he had never wanted to do this with anyone. It was something you only did if you had someone like Elijah. Someone you loved, cherished and cared about, more than you loved, cherished and cared about anything or anyone. He lay down on his stomach, his eyes roaming the beautiful body before him that was ready for him and waiting. Then he looked at the ever-so-inviting and so wonderfully enticing butt again. He couldn’t take it any longer. Putting his mouth back on Elijah’s left butt-cheek, just where he had been before, Dominic briefly licked the skin there and moved to the right. His tongue slipped in between those gorgeous buttocks and he continued licking until he could feel the familiar entrance he had passed into so many times already, but never like this. He stopped briefly and grabbed Elijah’s hips to still any potential movements in advance. He wanted Elijah to just lie here and enjoy every second of this new experience. Then he began to slowly slide his tongue in and out of the anus.

“Oh fuck,” Elijah squeezed his already closed eyes shut and gripped the sheets tightly as soon as Dominic’s tongue entered his tight hole. Emitting a deep groan, he released his breath that he hadn’t even been aware he was holding. His light panting turned into quick, labored breathing and every time he exhaled, a moan filled the room. Everything seemed to suddenly have disappeared, except that little spot down there and the immense pleasure Dominic’s tongue was creating. The sensitive nerve endings which surrounded his anal opening were stimulated by Dominic’s jaw that was moving steadily along with his tongue. It was an incredibly intense, arousing feeling and sweat broke out all over Elijah’s body. He continued clutching the sheets in a death grip, unable to do anything but moan and pant heavily. Due to his position of lying half on his stomach and half on his side, his now rock-hard cock was trapped between his body and the sheets, but Elijah was unable to reach down and take it into his hand. But he didn’t have to. 

Dominic managed to worm his hand in between Elijah’s legs and took hold of the weeping erection, his tongue never stopping its movements in and out of Elijah’s anus. Yes, Elijah had cleaned himself perfectly and Dominic found he couldn’t get enough of the feeling, but least of all of Elijah’s reactions. He loved the moaning, the panting, the gasping, the tenseness of the whole body. He never would have thought he could experience this level of eroticism with anyone. Elijah turned into a helpless puddle of jelly and it was all Dominic’s doing. He could have cried with joy, but instead stroked Elijah’s leaking cock even harder until he could feel it pulsate and throb in his hand.

Elijah pressed his face against the sheets as the huge wave of pleasure filled his groin. He didn’t even know where it began or ended, but it washed over him with a breathtaking force. His tense body shuddered and he moaned out loud as he came into Dominic’s frantically stroking hand and his seed spilled over the sheets. Finally he was able to shed some of the tension and went limp, gasping for oxygen. Dominic left his much loved space between Elijah’s buttocks and moved to lie down beside him, caressing his sweaty back. Elijah’s eyes were still closed and he was taking ragged breaths. Dominic smiled and lifted his hand off Elijah’s back to brush his fingers through the damp, auburn hair as he waited for Elijah to come back to reality. Slowly the eye-lids fluttered open and Elijah blinked a few times before he was able to show an exhausted smile.

“Hi there. Welcome back,” Dominic grinned, twirling a strand of hair around his slender finger.

“Hi,” Elijah murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. Still gasping and panting, he wondered if he would ever be able to breathe normally again. “Wow...”

Dominic couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. “I take it you liked it?”

“You could say that,” Elijah said and managed to take a proper breath at last. “Wow...where did you learn to do this?”

“Nowhere. Believe it or not, this was my first time. My first active time, that is. It’s great, isn’t it?”

Elijah nodded and swallowed, then he smiled again. His body got filled with a serene, peaceful, relaxed feeling. The afterglow. “It wasn’t disgusting for you?”

“No baby,” Dominic said and kissed Elijah’s smiling lips. “It wasn’t. It was bloody fantastic. Your reactions...fuck...everything about you. Thank you, Lijah. Thank you for allowing me to do this.”

Elijah reached over and stroked Dominic’s cheek, smiling softly. “Thank you, Dom. You promised me something exciting and kinky and I got it. But all I’ll ever want and need is you. I love you so much.”

These words left Dominic speechless for a moment as he hadn’t really expected them. His emotions overwhelmed him and he could only stare at Elijah’s beautiful face...at this beautiful man, inside and out, who would probably never have any idea how much he meant to Dominic. Who could utter words that aimed straight into Dominic’s heart. 

“I love you too, baby...so very much,” he felt his voice crack, so he claimed Elijah’s lips before he would lose it completely, pouring everything into this kiss that words would never be able to express. 

The wind and the rain turned into a mild storm that neither of them really noticed. Not even after Elijah had taken care of Dominic’s neglected cock and they were falling asleep, snuggled against each other’s sweaty bodies. For this was all that mattered.  
 


	50. Chapter 50

The city of Wellington offered a vast range of bays and beaches. New Zealand’s capital usually wouldn’t be considered a hot-spot for beach activities, but it could easily compete with places like Australia or Hawaii. Whether it be surfing, scuba diving or swimming, if one was looking for walking and tramping tracks or simply preferred some relaxed sunbathing – strong waves and perfect locations for sports, calm waters, secluded bays or stunning beaches, whatever the liking was, there was a beach for everything. The spring sun of early October wasn’t very strong, but it spread a pleasant warmth.   
  
Usually Dominic would have headed for one of the beaches with ideal conditions for surfing on his day off. It had become his favorite new sport and not just his. He and the other guys didn’t do it nearly often enough. Luckily the final months of shooting would be in the warmer seasons, so maybe they would get some more opportunities. But today surfing wasn’t on Dominic’s mind. Today he wanted to do something else. And for that he needed a peaceful, uncrowded area. So he had driven to one of the beaches on the Eastbourne coastline area of Wellington and walked across the soft, fair sand, in search of the perfect spot. A pile of paper sheets was tucked underneath his arm and his fingers were playing with a pen. He looked around. It wasn’t difficult to feel creative in a place like this. The gentle sounds of the sea, the seemingly endless horizon, the light breeze that tousled his hair...his surroundings provided the ideal conditions for Dominic in order to let his thoughts run free. And there was a lot he wanted to put down on paper.  
  
He found a deserted spot, away from the few people who had found their way to the beach in the middle of the week. Lowering himself down on the warm sand, Dominic leaned back against a small rock and positioned the sheets against his bent legs. Then he pulled his sunglasses out of the pocket of his shorts and slipped them onto his nose. Nobody was sunbathing, it was still a little too chilly for that, but Dominic spotted a couple of strollers, joggers and cyclists. The serenity of the scenery engulfed him as he tried to reflect everything that had happened during the past year in his life and put it into some kind of order. Dominic had found out that the best way to start writing was to just start writing. Once you saw the first word in front of you, the rest would pour out of you. He looked at the blank page that was about to get filled with his most inner thoughts and feelings. A clean slate, symbolizing a new beginning. Dominic lowered the pen onto the paper.   
  
_I hope my diary is not feeling all too neglected and lonely, but if I was writing all this into it, I would probably need three more journals. Plus, a diary is for your daily daily experiences and thoughts.  
It’s October 4th, 2000. I’m sitting on a beach in Wellington, New Zealand, the most beautiful country in the world. Almost a year ago we started principal photography for The Lord of the Rings. We being the awesome crew around Pete, Fran and Philippa and the thousands of dedicated people behind the scenes. And we being the cast I’m over the moon lucky to be a part of.  
I remember my very first day in New Zealand like it was yesterday. But in order to do this entire experience justice, I have to go further back. About ten years ago I was a little boy from Manchester, born in Berlin, whose family had no business with the show business. My dad is a science teacher and my mum a nurse. My brother, just a little over a year older than me, is now a teacher with a great passion and interest for music. He travels a lot and is a true cosmopolitan. I’m convinced he’ll become a music artist one day, once he’s grown up. Heh. I wanted to become an actor after I saw Star Wars for the first time. I’m sure I wasn’t the only little boy with that wish, but somehow I managed to fulfill this dream. I went to college and studied literature, geography and drama. I put all my heart and energy into these classes and it was so worth it. I used to do lots of theatre and eventually someone discovered me and I got a comedy sidekick role in a TV series version of Miss Marple. I was 19 back then and when you think about it...that was merely five years ago and I’m still bloody young. I’m turning 24 in two months and sometimes I can’t believe how far I’ve made it from there when other actors have to struggle so much longer. And then I wonder...am I worth it?_  
  
Dominic stopped writing for a moment and re-read the words. It was refreshing not to do this at a computer where you could easily edit what you didn’t like or you could put things into a different order when you were done with writing. He didn’t muse upon the style or how he created a certain sentence to make it sound particularly great. All he had was the paper, the pen and his mind. What he was writing wasn’t addressed to anyone. It was simply a way to release his thoughts and emotions and to pour them out in the shape of words.  
  
 _Am I good enough? Maybe not, but I’m doing my best. You can always improve. I’ll never forget when I got that call from my agent. I was in France filming a television drama and I was so brassed off by the end of that day. That embarrassing scene...I thought I would be stuck with shite like that for the rest of my life. And then my agent called and said the role of Frodo, the one I had auditioned for, had gone to a certain Elijah Wood. If I had known back then. I don’t want to write about Elijah yet. If I start now, I’ll forget to write about the rest. Yes, there is a rest, believe it or not. I got the role of Merry and ended up in New Zealand. It was the turning point in my life, in so many ways. At that time I didn’t know yet what it all would mean for me. Well, I knew that I would be a part of this huge trilogy, but that was it. I didn’t know any of the other actors, I hadn’t even heard of many of them before, I didn’t know if we would get along, I didn’t know what New Zealand was like. Of course, as an actor you never know any of those things beforehand, but usually you don’t spend almost one and a half years filming three movies back-to-back, with such a big ensemble cast. Fuck, usually you don’t get to be in an adaptation of the Lord of the Rings in the first place! So, I dived into this adventure and it turned out to be my greatest experience so far._  
  
The pen stopped moving once again as Dominic looked up and into the distance without really seeing anything. His mind was off somewhere else. In another time. He smiled. Sometimes it was hard for him to remember what he had thought about Elijah before he had met him and fallen in love with him. This talented, often inscrutable former child star who didn’t consider himself a star which made him even more lovable.  
  
A single surfer suddenly caught Dominic’s attention. The waves weren’t very big at this beach, but he made the best of it and looked quite practiced. A smile lingered on Dominic’s face as the memories whirled around in his head. All the stuff he and the other boys had tried out, all the innocent as well as wild and wicked fun they had had. The words came flowing again…  
  
 _I met all these wonderful people and we became close, tight friends which is rather unusual in this business. I’m convinced I’ll remain in touch with these guys for the rest of my life. Billy is like the twin brother I never knew I had. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone so dearly as a friend that you consider them your brother in spirit. But we are. Even though he’s a bloody Scot and I’m from England! We’re supposed to hate each other! Heh, all those clichés. Orlando is like this fresh, excited bloke, I think “big kid” describes him best. We’re the same age and we both enjoy adventure sports like snowboarding and surfing. He also loves chasing girls. So did I, but not anymore, as you can imagine. Strangely he also thinks he’s the prettiest member of the Fellowship. Ahem I’m sorry Orli, that title goes to someone else. He’s not a Brit and he’s got the most beautiful eyes ever. Viggo is…simply Viggo. Artist, musician, awesome awesome actor, incredible sense of humor. And he’s Aragorn. I mean, he IS Aragorn. He’s practically always in character and even carries his sword wherever he goes. Pete even called him Aragorn a few times on set and nobody noticed. It was just normal. He also got me interested in photography which I think I’ll pursue some more from now on. He manages to capture the most precious moments in a photo.  
It may sound weird and cheesy, but I have no doubt that we all were meant or destined to meet and become friends forever. We’re going through everything together here. We spend 15 hours a day, almost seven days a week, with each other. We fight and we laugh and we cry and go through every single level of emotion. We do things you don’t get to do as an average person, we fly into storms in planes and land in airports at three in the morning, we go up in helicopters, fly over whales and dolphins, we bungee jump and go surfing, we took part in a bathtub race, we go on holiday trips to Australia and Thailand…the list is endless. Even though we work together, we don’t spend our days off on our own. We don’t get sick of one another. At least we haven’t yet. I kind of believe in reincarnation and all that stuff, and I feel I cannot have made these friendships by chance. I feel we have met before and it was our destiny to come together.   
This is one of the things I value the most since coming here. There’s something else that surpasses everything, but that will have to wait. First I’d like to put down where I think my life is taking me career-wise. I already mentioned what I did before I landed this role. It wasn’t really anything worth talking about. Actually I think it’s kind of a miracle that I got discovered at all. I mean, what was I doing? I had all kinds of jobs before I really started with acting, from cooking to sorting mail. Then theatre and that led to TV jobs that led to THIS. How did that happen? I always wanted it, but now I have no idea how I got there. I mean, I’m not the greatest actor. I have potential and maybe with a little more time I can develop properly. It’s like Elijah said, I’m still young and at the beginning. There’s still a lot ahead of me. We often speculated about what might be after Fellowship hits the theatres. Basically there are only two possibilities. Either it becomes a huge hit and mega success, or it flops mercilessly. There’s nothing in between. It could either make or break us which is kinda scary. Especially if you’re one of the unknown actors who have never done anything big before this and who haven’t had the chance to establish themselves in the industry yet, so anyone whose name isn’t Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Liv Tyler, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee, John Rhys-Davies or Sean Bean. No, Mr. Astin, The Goonies wasn’t enough. However, deep inside I feel that the films will go like a bomb. Pete is an absolute genius. If anyone can pull this off, he’s the man. He’s probably the biggest Lord of the Rings fan alive. Deep in his heart he’s a hobbit himself, so that makes him precious (pun absolutely intended). He even loves walking around barefoot, no matter how cold it is, and he never ever gets mad. And he loves food. Sometimes it gets stuck in his tangled beard which is quite practical, so he can save some for later. And the cast is equally amazing, so what could go wrong? It’s supposed to be impossible to turn the books into films, but I don’t think so. Not with these people who work so hard every day and with so much dedication.   
When we’re finished with filming I’m going to relocate to LA. I don’t have any doubts about it. Elijah asked me to move there and how could I say no. I hadn’t really thought about it until then, but it’s the only right thing to do. For personal as well as professional reasons. Maybe it’s a little megalomaniac, but hey, why not? Hollywood is the biggest thing you can achieve as an actor, it’s the centre of the film industry and if you make it there, then you’ve really made it. Even if I didn’t have Elijah, I would go there. If I become famous after Lord of the Rings and Hollywood producers offer me more roles, it’s better if I live right there anyway. It’s where the jobs are. I could also stay in England and continue acting in British productions, but it’s not what I really want. The real big opportunities are in America. I may not be Jude Law or one of those other beaus, but I wanna show that I have talent and that I can pull off the right roles. I’m very hopeful and fairly certain that I won’t regret it. I won’t regret leaving England anyway, not when I know what I’ll have in LA…_  
  
Dominic lifted the pen and moved his hand around as it had gotten slightly stiff from writing the last long passage. The surfer had moved on to another part of the beach, but Dominic could still see him. He was really looking forward to going surfing with the other guys again now that it was getting warmer. There was nothing like surfing in summer, though he didn’t mind the coldness during the other seasons. They had wet-suits after all. And Elijah in a wet-suit was always a sight to die for. Dominic grinned and tucked the sheets that were already filled up with writing behind those that were still white and empty.   
  
_I came here to New Zealand to shoot The Lord of the Rings, and I thought it would be the best and biggest thing that would await me here. When I got the call from my agent, I nearly jumped through the roof of my trailer. I didn't get the role I had originally auditioned for. That one went to Elijah Wood. At that time I knew he was a former child star in America who had done movies with the biggest names, like Tom Hanks, Mel Gibson or Kevin Costner. I knew he was talented and that he would be a wonderful Frodo. But of course I didn’t know what he was like in private, as a person. He was a star, even though he still doesn’t think so. He was one of the bigger names in the cast, so I wasn’t quite sure if he would be nice or if he would be some stuck-up, spoilt brat. I was a little nervous before meeting him. I remember how I landed in Wellington and first went to Pete and then to the hotel. That’s where I saw him for the first time. Well, off-screen, that is. I arrived at the hotel and he was standing there, in front of the entrance, smoking. I stopped walking and just looked at him for a moment as he hadn’t noticed me yet. He seemed to be completely lost in thought and they were not positive thoughts. I came to realize that something was wrong during the next weeks. Finally we looked at each other and it just felt right from the very beginning on. It wasn’t that “love at first sight”-fairytale bullocks. It was way too complicated and difficult. And I don’t believe in stuff like that. I mean, you have to get to know a person before you fall in love with him or her. Everything else is just physical attraction. We got along right from the start and became tight friends. Just like with Billy and Orlando when we got to know them. When I came back from finishing Renard in France, I visited Elijah in his house in Wellington. We chatted about music and bugs and passions and I once again noticed that something was bothering him, though he struggled not to show it. But I knew I had to find out what it was. It took him quite some time to confide in me and tell me what was going on. He was afraid that he would fail and that he wouldn’t be able to play Frodo. He seriously considered dropping the role. I was so happy that he could finally tell me everything. I wanted to help him so badly and I finally could. I managed to pull him out of that dark hole he had fallen into, and I think that day changed a lot between us. He regained his courage and found someone he could trust and talk to and he got rid of his fear. When I helped him up, something flashed through me and I swear I could see it in his eyes as well. Up until today I don’t know what it was. It was just magical. Like something was starting to build. Everything changed in the following weeks. We got even closer and tighter and the best of friends. Not friends like Billy and I were. I love fooling around with Billy and taking the piss and everything. But with Elijah it has always been on a completely different level. I realized what level very early and I found myself falling deeply and irrevocably in love with him. My diary is full of gushing over him, there’s nothing I haven’t written down yet. From his sweet, lovely, caring, wonderful personality to his breathtakingly beautiful looks. I had been in love before, with girls and with other blokes. But nothing came even close to what I was feeling for Elijah, what I’m still feeling for him and what’s growing day by day. It’s scary sometimes. And it’s a miracle that we found our way to each other in the end, after all the crap that was against us. It was anything but easy. It took Elijah a lot of time to come around and accept his homosexuality. That was a huge step for him, especially if you consider our situation. We’re actors, we’re part of the superficial show business. He grew up in this business, so he knows it inside out and knows the way gay actors are treated. After our first kiss at Lake Te Anau he struggled to ignore his feelings. I knew it was in vain, that he would never be able to deny who he was. It hurt like hell, seeing him turn away from me, and from himself. He thought his feelings would go away if he didn’t think about them anymore. Of course that was total bollocks. But after a few days he changed his mind and came to me and I felt like I was the luckiest, happiest person in the world. Sometimes I wonder why I wanted to be in this business so much. Not everyone is like Peter Jackson. I haven’t worked in Hollywood, but I heard enough stories and I can imagine how it works. There are people who don’t give a shit about you, who deny you roles because you don’t fit into their shallow scheme. I hate intolerance, I hate ignorance, and I hate this goddamn sodding homophobia. People like Elijah suffer because of it, and I would sometimes love to take those Hollywood big boss wankers and punch them into next week. They don’t get what damage they cause. But I can’t do that. I can only thank whatever higher power there is that Elijah made the right choice in the end. Anything else would have ruined him. But that was then and now is now. It only matters what we have now and fact is that I couldn’t be any happier. It’s almost uncanny how well things are going right now. Next month will be our first anniversary. One year, November 13. A year isn’t really that long, but long enough for you to be able to realize certain things. At least for me. We’ve been working together and spending our free-time together and practically lived together even longer than a year. Well, not living together, but you know what I mean. It’s like we’ve already settled down here. I don’t deny that there’s still a lot I don’t know about Elijah. There are things you only get to learn when you really live together or spend more time with each other without having to work, without having to be separated because one has to film on this set and the other has to film on that set. And I’m very curious to learn about those things. Right now we’re in the middle of this huge blockbuster which attracts so much media attention, giving interviews, doing photo-shoots, the whole program. I know it will become even more once the promo circle starts and all. But I also know that we can manage to settle down, have a more peaceful life and explore each other some more. It’s another big step for us, and he’s the only one I wanna take it with. I said November 13 is our anniversary, but that’s not quite true. It’s the day of our first kiss. We got together a few days later. Elijah actually had a lot of personal issues to overcome and I’m so incredibly proud of him. He was only 18 when we got together, when other boys his age would have broken down. He didn’t see it back then, but he’s got a mental strength that others can only dream of. If it wasn’t for this strength, he wouldn’t have been able to see and accept his true self. He would still be in denial and he wouldn’t have come to me, in that hotel room in Queenstown. It was up to him and him alone. I couldn’t take him and shake him and force him to stop denying his feelings. He worked it out for himself, on his own, and it only makes me admire him even more. There’s a lot I admire about him and not just because I love him and might be totally biased. The way he handles his fame, how he managed to stay sane as a child star in Hollywood, his amazing acting talent and his professional working style. I’m his teacher concerning gay relationships, but he’s my teacher concerning Hollywood and acting careers. We complete each other in many ways. We have a lot of things in common, but we’re also quite different. We love music, video games, movies. He’s basically pretty reserved, rational and levelheaded, though in the right company he lights up like a bulb and tends to turn into the complete opposite. Billy and I can tell a bunch of stories there. I’m more outgoing, cheeky and love playing it up for the cameras. We’re like this perfect mixture, you know. It’s always exciting.  
If I wanted to write everything down, I would still be sitting here tomorrow. How can you put your feelings into proper words anyway? It’s impossible. How are you supposed to express that you found your soulmate in this other person? That you think about him and long for him every time you’re not with him, that you feel this tingle whenever he looks at you and smiles at you with those gorgeous eyes and enticing lips or when you just think about him? I don’t want to let him go ever again. I’m probably repeating myself, but I’ve never loved anyone more in my life. It’s as simple as that. I love you, Lijah. Now and for always._  
  
If Dominic had thought his hand had gotten stiff before, it was nothing compared to now. He had written non-stop for the past minutes, his stream of thoughts just flowing from his head through his arm and onto the paper. Looking at the last words, he couldn’t help but smile. He had wanted to write about his experiences in New Zealand, where his life seemed to be taking him, and it had turned into a love letter at the end. Of course it would turn into a love letter. Elijah was the biggest and best thing that had happened to Dominic since he had come here. Though Dominic would never let him read it. He wouldn’t let anyone read what he was writing today. It was just for him, to figure out the meaning of these experiences and the impact they had on his life.  
  
Dominic stretched out his legs and lowered the sheets onto his lap. Taking off his sunglasses, he blinked against the rays of the sun which now felt a bit warmer to him than before. The surfer was not in sight any longer and there were hardly any people around anymore. The tranquility warmed him almost as much as the sun did. Dominic leaned forward and rubbed his back. He hadn’t even noticed how much the hardness of the rock he had been sitting against had been digging into his bones. Shifting a little, he lay down on the soft sand and crossed one arm behind his head as he looked up at the sky with its few clouds. Elijah wasn’t far away. He was filming with Sean in the Wellington studios. Dominic wanted to go there later and watch. He loved watching Elijah act, but he didn’t get to see it that often. Not in scenes that didn’t involve all four hobbits of course. He used to visit the other sets when he had a day off and if it wasn’t too far away or even on another island. Viggo did that as well, on his rare days off. Having him there was always a great source of strength and inspiration. Plus Viggo used to take tons of photos. The mirror in his trailer was already completely plastered with these priceless images. Dominic loved the pictures of Elijah. Viggo was able to take the most beautiful and captivating shots of him, making Dominic wish he himself had just a fraction of that talent and ability. Maybe, some day. A soft gust of wind caressed Dominic’s face and he took a deep breath of the sea breeze before closing his eyes. He had written down quite a lot today, and his mind was still preoccupied, primarily with thoughts about one person. Yes, he loved watching Elijah act and he still wondered how Elijah hadn’t been able to see how perfect he was for Frodo. Every time Dominic witnessed him working, acting his heart out and pouring everything into his role, he felt an immense amount of pride and admiration. How many months yet until they would see the complete result on the big screen? October, November, December and then another year. Fourteen months. He couldn’t wait.   
  
While he was still musing and contemplating, sleepiness enveloped Dominic and he gradually dozed off. He didn’t know how long he had been sleeping when he woke up again, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He was surprised he had fallen asleep at all, on the beach, during the day. Sitting up slowly, Dominic blinked a few times as he looked into the distance. The sun had wandered a little further, but it wasn’t setting yet, so he probably hadn’t been asleep that long. He yawned and stretched and only then he noticed that the sheets of papers weren’t on his lap anymore. The pen was lying beside him in the sand, but the papers were nowhere to be found. What the hell...Dominic’s first suspicion was that someone might have stolen it, but he quickly dismissed that idea. Why would anyone steal it? In order to sell it to the media, the very secret diaries of the cast? Dominic frowned in confusion and raised a hand up to his hair, rubbing the sand that had gathered there out of it. A sudden bolt of shock shot through him and his fingers tensed up as his eyes widened. What if someone had indeed stolen the sheets and was reading all about him and Elijah right now? He hadn’t mentioned his own name, but he had revealed all about Elijah’s homosexuality and that he had apparently fallen in love with a man. Plus there were enough hints that made clear who had written it. Dominic let go of his hair and rubbed it over his heated face.   
  
Various horror scenarios began forming in his head, but then something caught his attention. He narrowed his eyes and shielded them from the sun with his hand. What he saw almost made him laugh out loud in relief and his face broke into a grin. The wind was blowing several papers down the beach and into the water. Some were still flying across the sand, some were already floating on the surface, getting carried away by the light current. Soon all the sheets ended up in the sea, swaying on the little waves. He didn’t have to worry after all. The water would make the ink unreadable and eventually vanish completely. Dominic gazed at the scene in pure and utter fascination, and surprisingly he wasn’t bitter or sad that everything he had written today was lost now. He hadn’t written it to read it over and over again anyway or to keep it for eternity. He had his memories that would stay with him forever. But there was something so fulfilling about the sight. An intense feeling of contentment, peacefulness and ease filled him. The ocean carried away his papers, his thoughts, his feelings, his hopes and dreams. They floated out towards the horizon and into the world, leaving him behind with all these treasures deep inside his heart. Dominic remained sitting on the sand and kept watching until he couldn’t see one piece of paper left. Then he picked up the pen, stood up and got ready to drive home. He felt happy.


	51. Chapter 51

Orlando looked out the front window and tried to concentrate on the setting of downtown Wellington as the car made its way through the city by night. He didn’t manage to do this for very long though. Leaning his elbow against the side-window, his gaze was drawn to the rear-view mirror again and again. He had to bite down on the nail of his thumb in order to suppress a grin. He didn’t succeed there either. Billy’s eyes met his in the mirror and of course Billy noticed the silly grin on Orlando’s face. He pressed his lips together and glanced aside. Then he looked into the mirror again and shrugged in an exaggerated manner and with an apologetic expression. Orlando sighed quietly but in an equally exaggerated way. Shifting his gaze, he got faced with Dominic’s teasingly serious reflection. However, Orlando refused to give up just yet, the main reason for this certainly being the proper amount of alcohol he had already enjoyed. Wriggling his eyebrows and tilting his head, he put on his best begging puppy-dog-look. Dominic imitated the silly look right away and shook his head slightly, only to pucker his lips like he was pretending to blow his pleading friend a kiss. To the left of him Elijah watched the scene amused. Due to the angle of the mirror he couldn’t see Orlando, but he knew what he wanted and what the looks were about. Not just Orlando, but Billy as well. Poor naive guys, Elijah thought with a grin. Like Orlando he wasn’t entirely sober anymore. The four of them had downed a couple of drinks at a local pub before leaving for their final destination and as usual, Orlando and Elijah felt the effects sooner and more intense than everyone else. And as usual, the company made Elijah loosen up some. Biting down on his bottom lip to hold back his cackle, he reached out and sneaked his hand around the seat in front of him. Orlando flinched briefly and then let out a sharp shriek when he suddenly felt two stroking fingers on the back of his neck. That pulled the trigger and the struggle not to burst into silly giggles crumbled instantly as heavy laughter filled the car. 

Despite having practically initiated it, Orlando didn’t even know why he was laughing so hard, but the noises from the boys behind him only amplified it. He dared to look to the right and noticed that their driver had a small smile on his face but kept his eyes straight ahead on the street. Orlando wondered if this man knew who he was driving in his taxi tonight, but it wouldn’t do their reputation any harm. It was known among the locals that the cast liked to hit the bars and pubs of the city and that they basically behaved like the average fun loving inhabitant of Wellington. And nothing could be worse than peeing into a public fountain in the middle of the night. Only tonight Orlando was restricted. Putting a hand on his side, he couldn’t help the light wince. His broken rib was healing nicely, but the heavy laughter had caused another pang of pain to shoot through him. He didn’t take any medication for the pain any longer, which would have been a rather bad combination with the alcohol. Why was he drinking anyway? Damn you, group pressure. No, damn you, filthy hobbits, Orlando thought, but that only made him burst into another round of silly giggles. Viggo had been taking good care of him during the past painful weeks, knowing all kinds of helpful advice and Orlando had sucked it all up eagerly. Like everything Viggo said or did. Orlando used to hang on to his lips and every word, almost like Elijah used to hang on to Dominic’s lips and every word, just not in an unconsciously romantic way.

A few minutes later the taxi stopped in front of a familiar house. They hadn’t been here as often as they had been at Peter’s house, but it was still rather memorable from the first cast party right before principal photography had started. Orlando pushed a couple of bills into the driver’s hand without even counting them or waiting until the driver said how much they owed him. But the man’s expression revealed that he had received a lot more than required and since Orlando didn’t seem to want any change, he kept the rest as a generous tip. Orlando, however, only wanted to get out of the car and the sitting position, but when he opened the door and stood up, he made the mistake of stretching his arms and that sent another throbbing pang through his side. It wasn’t as painful as it had been a few weeks before, but it was still uncomfortable. This wasn’t his first injury. When he had been younger, he had broken his back and had almost ended up in a wheelchair. But that hadn’t kept him from living a pretty active life, and breaking his rib now had annoyed him immensely. At least it hadn’t happened during summer. He wouldn’t be able to go surfing or ride his motorcycle or whatever he just felt like doing.

“Fuck this shite.”

“What was that?” Elijah asked as he got out of the car and heard Orlando curse under his breath. “I think my poor, innocent ears perceived something they weren’t supposed to.”

Orlando put his hands on his hips, determined not to let anyone know what was bothering him, and put on a smirk as he looked at the smaller man in front of him. Now that he was standing upright, the soreness in his side slowly subsided, but he knew he had to be more careful. Above all, he didn’t want to ruin the fun night with useless lamenting.

“Oh, shut up. It’s all your fault anyway.”

“What’s whose fault?” Dominic slipped out of the backseat and shut the door with a noise that was louder than necessary. Running a hand through his hair, he frowned at Orlando, but with an amused expression on his face. “How much did you give the bloke? Didn’t we say we would share it?”

“Hey, Orlando can afford it,” Billy piped with a grin as he joined them from the other side of the taxicab, which now started to move again slowly and then drove off into another direction. “He’ll be swimming in cash soon, being Hollywood’s next pretty face.”

“Right, consider yourselves invited. I lost the bet, but that was your fault! How could you let me down like that?” Orlando said, his arms still akimbo and his head held high, like he wanted to tower proudly over everyone else. Which wasn’t that difficult in this company.

“Let you down?” Elijah laughed, searching his jacket for his pack of cloves. “How could we let you down when we always said we wouldn’t do it and told you to fuck off and dream on?”

Dominic grinned broadly and put his arm around Elijah’s shoulders. He didn’t take his eyes off Elijah as he spoke. “Seriously Orli. Did you really think we would do this for several minutes in the backseat of a taxi?”

He pressed his lips against Elijah’s cheek which was slightly flushed and damp from the alcohol, but still smooth and flawless as always, and Elijah turned his head so that Dominic could caress his mouth instead of his skin. Only the kiss was anything but romantic, in fact, it couldn’t even be called kiss. Dominic opened his mouth wide and stuck out his whirling tongue, moving it in an exaggerated and way over the top sexy manner against Elijah’s lips. Elijah stifled a snigger as he parted his lips as well, but when Dominic’s tongue slobbered all over his chin and then slavered into his open mouth, dueling with the other rough tongue there, he gave in and giggled.

Billy watched them and laughed. Glancing at Orlando’s inscrutable face, he wasn’t quite sure what his friend was thinking which was pretty weird since normally Orlando sucked at hiding his feelings. Earlier in the car, Billy had been able to tell that Orlando’s rib was bothering him. He could hold his liquor better than anyone else, so he was still capable of thinking straight. About Dominic and Elijah he wasn’t so sure, but then again, sometimes you couldn’t tell if Dominic was drunk or not, with the things he used to pull at times. 

And right now Dominic wrapped his arms around Elijah’s upper body and lowered him until he almost touched the ground. His slobbering tongue was still all over Elijah’s jaw, lips and cheeks. The “kiss” was totally messed up now and Elijah emitted a heavy, laughing shriek, clinging to Dominic like he was afraid of getting dropped. Of course that was ridiculous. Dominic wasn’t as drunk as the others assumed. He was still very much in control of his body and mind, but he could never resist teasing Orlando mercilessly. Especially tonight, after Orlando’s silly request.

“Ugh, you guys are so disgusting,” Orlando complained and wrinkled his nose, yet his formerly enigmatic expression changed and the tone of his voice revealed that he wasn’t serious and just joking. He dropped his arms and sighed melodramatically. “All I wanted to see was one normal kiss, you chickenshits. He probably wouldn’t have noticed anyway.”

Dominic pulled Elijah up again, momentarily marveling at Elijah’s face that was a little more flushed now but still lovely as usual. Nothing could ever ruin this perfection, neither long days at work nor wild and bashed nights. They were standing directly under an streetlamp and not even this unpleasant, hard light spoilt the beauty. And luckily no one else was in sight, otherwise their little snogging session would have been right in the spotlight. No, Dominic wasn’t drunk. He felt himself getting more and more sober as they inhaled the fresh night air by the side of the street and his previous tipsiness slowly faded, like the pain in Orlando’s side. And no matter how boozed-up he might become, Dominic would jump off a cliff before he would drop Elijah on a cold, rough street. 

Billy gave Orlando a sympathetic glance. “Sorry mate. Tried my best.”

Orlando just shrugged and shivered, obviously throwing the towel. “Come on now, getting a little too chilly for my pretty arse,” he said and turned around to walk up to the house. Billy watched Dominic and Elijah exchange a triumphant yet loving look and then he followed them as they made their way towards the residence after Orlando, holding hands. He grinned. Usually they hardly ever showed public displays of affection. They weren’t all over each other, not even when they were with nobody else but their friends. Unless they were drunk or at least tipsy. And it was probably better this way. Or rather safer. If they didn’t act like a couple around people who knew about them, it was less likely that they would accidentally do something around other people that might reveal what was really between them. Billy’s grin faded when he thought about that. He wasn’t sure if he could keep up a relationship like this. Always having to mind your behavior in public and putting society before yourself because you’re considered “wrong”. But Dominic and Elijah handled the situation surprisingly well. They had to back down in this one respect, and that was well worth it, as Dominic had assured Billy several times. And in the end, that was all that mattered.

Orlando had already rung the doorbell and was greeted by the friendly grey-haired man who invited them all in right away. The memories of the first cast party at Barrie Osborne’s house a year before were vivid and the place still looked exactly the same. The eye-catcher was a long fire pole that was installed in the hallway and connected the different floors. If you felt like it, you could just wrap yourself around the shiny tube and slide down from upper to ground floor. Which the boys had repeatedly done the first time they had been there. 

The producer’s home looked very similar to Peter Jackson’s house. If you didn’t know any better, you wouldn’t believe that someone from the movie business was living here. No mansion, no luxury, no extravagance, no over the top furnishings. The only thing that might be considered luxurious was the backyard with a splendid view of the sea. The perfect location for the anniversary party.

As they went through the hallway and entered the garden, Orlando, Dominic, Elijah and Billy noticed that they were among the last ones of the main cast to arrive. Yet unfamiliar crew faces mingled with familiar faces such as Peter, Viggo, Ian, John, Sean Bean, Andy, Miranda, Bernard, the scale doubles, Fran, Philippa and various others. It was a large gathering of talented, creative people who did not only share a passion for their work but who were also connected by a form of companionship, which was rare and uncommon in this industry. And the filmmakers’ houses mirrored this phenomenon. Simple, pure, humble residences, accommodating humble, passionate and ingenious people. Maybe it was something that occurred only in New Zealand and was typically Kiwi. Or at least something that could only occur outside of Hollywood. Barrie Osborne was from America, but if you were lucky enough to live in New Zealand for such a long time, the local spirit claimed you and didn’t let you go again.

This was one of the things that were running through Sean’s mind as he crossed the lawn and approached the patio, holding Alexandra’s hand and trying to keep up with her. His little daughter had already been half asleep earlier, but when she had spotted her beloved favorite uncles, she had immediately jumped up and all her sleepiness had been gone abruptly. They went over to one of the benches on the patio where Billy, Dominic and Elijah had sat down with fresh supplies of beer. 

Orlando was standing beside them and smiled as the girl with bouncing blonde curls tugged at her father’s hand, clearly in charge tonight despite her age of almost four. “Hey party princess! Why aren’t you in bed yet?”

Dominic put his bottle down on the table in front of him and leaned back with a grin. “Yeah, don’t you know that Father Christmas…I mean, Santa only brings you presents if you’re a good girl and don’t stay up to catch him?”

Sean’s hand got released and Alexandra put on an adorable, precocious expression with a tilted head and funny beam. “Haha! I know it’s not Christmas yet. And I am always a good girl.”

“Touché,” Elijah giggled. Sean’s daughter was surprisingly sharp-minded for her age. He was about to reach into his pocket to pull out his cigarettes, a movement he didn’t use to think about much and that happened automatically, but he quickly dropped his hand again. He didn’t smoke in front of children, especially not Alexandra who he knew looked up to all of them. 

Sean playfully rolled his eyes behind Alexandra. “Why are kids getting chattier, the later it is? She was ready to doze off until you guys showed up.”

“Smart lass,” Dominic joked, picking up his bottle again and taking a small sip of beer.

Turning her head around and gazing up at her father, Alexandra smiled her sweetest smile. “Can Uncle Dom tell me a goodnight story, daddy?”

“Hey,” Orlando protested with a mixture of amusement and light shock. “I thought I was your fairytale uncle.”

The smile on the girl’s face did not falter. “But Uncle Dom does the voices so well.”

Dominic looked at the glowing, lovely little kid, with those bright blonde curls and smooth, rosy features of an angel, feeling his heart going out to her. Elijah knew this look very well. It used to creep over Dominic’s face whenever he was around children, babies in particular. And Elijah loved it every time he came to witness it. There was something special, something magical about it that seemed to change his entire appearance. Elijah remembered how Dominic used to clown around with some of the kids that had played hobbit children in the Shire scenes, Peter’s boy and girl being among them and the director smiling at the welcome entertainment in between takes. Now was one of those moments again and Elijah smiled at the picture. It was a side of Dominic that not many knew of as it was often hidden behind a wall of fooling around and making jokes. A serene, sensitive side. 

Slowly Dominic managed to do something other than beam enchantedly. “Awww…isn’t she the cutest? Of course I will tell you a goodnight story, princess. If daddy lets me.”

Sean gestured nonchalantly and chuckled. “Sure, go ahead. Ask Pete where you can put her down. Just remember: she’s the child and you’re the adult, so don’t let her wrap you around her little finger so she can stay up longer. She knows some clever tricks there.”

“Hey, I’m the personification of responsibility,” Dominic grinned and got up from the bench, lifting a happy Alexandra up into his arms. “Shouldn’t be too long,” he said directed at Elijah and Billy, and then they disappeared into the house.

“Mommy and daddy are going to pick you up before we leave!” Sean managed to shout after them and laughed. “I’m all washed-up now.”

Orlando sighed and wiped an imaginary tear away from his cheek. “Well, I’ll try not to feel too rejected.”

“Dom is really great with kids,” Sean said, still looking at the now closed door. “Ali is in good hands until Chris can pull herself away from her endless lady conversation with Fran,” he added as a joke.

“Just wait twenty more years and you’ll have some serious competition there, Lij,” Billy teased and nudged Elijah’s side.

Elijah played with the cigarette pack in his pocket. “Oh please, let’s not go into that direction. But I think Orlando is gonna be the one to be stalked by the girls.”

“Hmm really?” Orlando rubbed his hands together and took a look around the garden venue with wide eyes. “Speaking of which, where’s Liv?”

“What, you didn’t know?” Sean asked. Orlando looked like he was about to go hunting for a certain species. “She left for Texas to do a new movie. Don’t worry, she’ll be back soon.”

“Oh…okay,” Orlando shrugged, trying not to look too disappointed. “Think I’ll go and stalk Vig then.”

“May I join you?” Billy got up as he asked the question, his eyes scanning the place to look for Viggo, who had somehow disappeared into the crowd. “I haven’t talked to him in a while.”

“Of course, my dear,” Orlando held out his hand which Billy ignored graciously.

Elijah and Sean watched them leave, chatting with each other vividly as they melted into the other guests. When they were gone, Sean shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants and looked down at Elijah. His friend was still sitting on the bench, the pack of cloves now in his fingers. Sean could tell that Elijah was feeling the strong urge to smoke and he struggled to bite back a comment. He had sworn to himself that he would quit his bad habit of fussing, or at least reduce it. 

So instead he just smiled. “Wanna stroll a little?”

Elijah stopped fumbling with the pack and returned the smile. “Sure,” he said and lifted himself off the seat. 

Together they walked across the lawn slowly, occasionally greeting a few people of the crew, until they came to stand in a remote spot, away from most of the others. A line of smaller bushes bordered the backyard and beyond the natural fence, below the incline the house was situated upon, the stunning scenery of the harbor spread before them. The lights of the buildings around it danced on the surface of the water. Despite the party music and the voices from the chatting guests behind them, which weren’t very loud but still there, the panorama filled Sean and Elijah with a pleasant sense of peacefulness.

The little pack had slipped back into his jacket while Elijah pinched a clove stick between his lips and lit it with a lighter. The gleaming end illuminated his face as he took a first drag. He was still silently surveying the calm harbor area when Sean turned away from the view and looked at him. The clove cigarette was dangling between Elijah’s fingers now. Sean kept his own hands in his pockets, the soft smile not vanishing from his face.

“Dom is really great with kids,” he repeated his earlier comment, his tone casual and nonchalant.

Elijah blinked like he had been pulled out of a process of deep pondering and fixed his eyes upon Sean. The statement made him smile as well. 

“He is,” he said and paused briefly, like he had to gather his thoughts again. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so. But you know he’s a great entertainer, so it comes naturally to him. And the kids love that.”

Sean nodded. “Yeah. But you know Ali will always love you. She’s way too fascinated by your eyes.”

“What can I do? I can’t possibly poke them out,” Elijah laughed and lifted the clove to his mouth.

“I didn’t say it’s bad that she loves your eyes,” Sean raised his hands in defense and then folded them across his chest. In spite of the humorous mood between them, he couldn’t help but observe Elijah a little more closely and with a pensive gaze. The contemplative expression and especially that certain look in his eyes when Sean had mentioned Dominic and the children hadn’t gone unnoticed. Although Elijah seemed lost in thoughts more often than not, it wasn’t really anything unusual. He didn’t know if he should address this here and now and if he was maybe going too far. Once again. But it was something he had wondered about even before he had known Dominic and Elijah had gotten together. Or maybe they hadn’t been together yet at the time, he wasn’t sure. One memory was particularly present. Mount Owen on the South Island almost a year before, in between takes for the tragic Dimrill Dale scene. His flippant question. It had been the first and last time he had asked it. He hadn’t known about Elijah’s sexuality at the time, let alone about the secret relationship. But today, here and now, his curiosity took over and weakened his reason. Was he being ridiculous for bringing it up again? The words were out before his mind could finish weighing up the pros and cons. 

“Anyway, I think you’re very good with children too, Elijah. You want some of your own some day?”

Exhaling the smoke of his cigarette, Elijah looked at the cloud in front of him for a moment as it vanished in the night air. At Sean’s question he turned around and blinked confused. A small chuckle escaped his throat, but he didn’t know where it came from.

“What?” was all Elijah said, and now it was Sean’s turn to be confused. Was the question really this far-fetched and amusing? Was it too straight-forward? Had he overstepped his boundaries? Sean hoped and prayed that he wasn’t walking on sensitive territory yet again, not after everything they had been through and after their reconciliation. It was just an innocent, curious question. Right?

“Well,” Sean hesitated, trying to find the right words. Elijah’s reaction had left him slightly self-conscious. “I know I asked you once and you said maybe. At that time I didn’t know about you and Dom yet and now I feel a little silly. But now that I know about you and…well…seeing you guys with Ali, I was just…you know…wondering…”

He trailed off as he realized that he was stumbling over his words. Looking down at the ground, he hoped he wasn’t making another big mistake. They had patched up their busted friendship, but Sean sensed it was still fragile. He couldn’t see past the cracks and he was afraid that one wrong motion might smash their rebuilt relationship back into pieces. He felt Elijah’s intense eyes on him and that made his already blushed face redden even more.

Indeed Elijah was looking at him with a combination of bewilderment and amusement. The way Sean was hanging his head as if in shame almost made him pity him. “You were just wondering?”

Elijah’s questioning voice made Sean lift his head and turn to his younger friend. Sean’s hands were still buried in the pockets of his pants and he was kicking some invisible object with his foot, clearly oozing uneasiness.

“What the hell makes you bring this up now?” Elijah asked with a frown on his face.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Sean shrugged his shoulders and somehow this helped him lose some of the tension. He even managed to show a smile, even though it did not reach his eyes.

“I don’t know. Maybe this anniversary party is making me a little too emotional for my own good. But every time I see you around Ali or any other kid, I can’t help but imagine you with one of your own. Call me silly, but it’s just like that. I’m like that. You know my family means everything to me. Much more than acting and making movies. I know that must sound quite unbelievable to you…”

At the last part Sean chuckled quietly. He was very much aware how obsessed he came across sometimes when it came to filming and everything that involved the process of producing movies, but that didn’t mean that there was nothing else he cherished in his life. On the contrary. He felt relieved when he saw Elijah smile at the last words.

“What I’m trying to say is just,” he went on and finally pulled one hand out of his pocket for some hopefully supportive gesticulating. “I want you to know that I’m sure you would be great parents some day if you decide to go this way. And you shouldn’t be afraid of it. It brings so much joy into your life, Elijah.”

He stopped again. Elijah’s eyes had widened during his little speech, but that alone hadn’t distracted him. First Elijah giggled, but then he actually laughed and looked straight ahead. It didn’t last long though. After taking a last long drag from his almost forgotten clove, he dropped it and stubbed it out. When he faced Sean, he was smiling faintly.

“Geez…you’re really worse than me. You’re thinking way too much,” he said, feeling a sudden pang. Thinking too much…worrying too much…that had always been Elijah’s problem. “Don’t you think it’s a little too early for this conversation?”

Sean chewed on his bottom lip and shrugged once more. “Is it? I wasn’t talking about tomorrow. I was talking about some day. In the future.”

“Yes, it is too soon,” Elijah emphasized, ignoring Sean’s objection. “I mean, what am I supposed to say? That we’re already planning a big fairytale family? That we have it all planned out already? And how are we supposed to do that anyway, huh? Last I heard, guys couldn’t get knocked up yet.”

He paused as he sounded a little more wound up than he had intended to. He still didn’t know whether to find the question funny or irritating.

“I know,” Sean sighed, struggling not to think too much about the mistake he had wanted to avoid. If it was too late now, he couldn’t do anything about it anyway. “That’s not what I meant, Elijah. I was just asking out of curiosity and interest. Seeing you with my daughter and all…I’m sure you would love it and you would be wonderful at parenting. And there are certain ways for gays to have children. It’s just wonderful having a family with the one you love. Trust me.”

“You know, that’s just it,” Elijah said. His head was full of spinning thoughts and his soul full of whirling emotions. It was hard to get them into proper phrases. “I don’t deny that it’s wonderful for you. But you are a family man through and through. It’s great that you’re happy with your family, but you can’t apply your standards to us, Sean. Not everyone needs that to be happy. Just because we like playing with Ali doesn’t mean we have to have a child of our own. No one knows what’s in five years time from now, but it’s absolutely no option right now. We only just got together. Besides, we have tons of other fucking problems and things we have to think about, you know. In case you forgot, Dom is a guy and I’m a guy and society still shits on that. It’s difficult enough as it is. I thought you of all people should know that. You’re a Hollywood kid after all, like me.”

Sean didn’t say anything for a long moment. The sound from the party was drifting over to them, yet between them there was a thick tense silence that was louder than any noises could be. Eventually Sean’s quiet voice sliced the stillness like a knife.

“I know it’s difficult for you, Elijah. I’m sorry…it was stupid and out of place to bring this up. And I guess I’m the last person to ask you private questions like this anyway.”

He chuckled humorlessly.

“And what makes you say that now?” The confusion took over again and the frown seemed to be impaled on Elijah’s face.

Sean’s voice became even quieter which was hardly possible. “After everything that happened between us.”

It was barely audible and first Elijah thought he had misheard the mumbling. Then he sighed and took a deep breath. Another cigarette sounded very tempting right now. “Don’t tell me you’re still living in the past, Sean. We’re friends, unless you see problems where there aren’t any and pull everyone down.”

“I’m not living in the past,” Sean said, now a little more loudly. “Just sometimes I feel like I’m walking on a minefield and one wrong step will blow everything up and I’ll lose your friendship again.”

“And you think I’m pissed off now and don’t want you as my friend anymore because you asked me this question? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not that easy to get rid of me,” Elijah took a few steps towards Sean who had bowed down his head and was studying his feet. The earlier small wave of compassion for Sean was back and it showed in Elijah’s eyes and voice when he spoke. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so pissy. I just didn’t get why you would ask me about something like this. I mean, it’s really absurd. It’s nice that you’re thinking about us that way and that you think we could be good parents and I believe you when you say that having a family of your own is great. But it’s no option for us. Like I said, nobody knows what the future brings, but it’s hard enough to live in the here and now. We’ve not even lived properly together yet. And it’s just been a year, that’s almost nothing. We haven’t told this anyone else but Billy yet, but Dom is going to move to LA next year.”

Sean looked up, clearly surprised. “Really?”

Elijah nodded, losing his previous edginess at the prospect. Thinking about Dominic living with him permanently, in the same house, always filled him with happiness and a warm snug feeling. The soft smile on his lips revealed this on the outside.

“Yeah. We’re both going to move into my mother’s guesthouse for starters and then we’ll see where we go from there. It’s the only way for us. We can be together and he’ll have more opportunities to get acting jobs. It’s a huge step moving from England to LA, but we want to stay together.”

No, we need to stay together, Elijah thought, feeling the emotions threaten to overwhelm him. If he wasn’t an actor, he would have no problem packing his stuff and settle down somewhere in England. Or any other place, as long as it was Dominic he settled down with. Of course he would miss his mother, his sister, his brother and the friends he had back at home, but ever since he met Dominic, he felt himself become more and more mature and sophisticated with each day and turn into a real young adult. Elijah had always thought that getting into the movie business at such a young age, being surrounded by grown-ups most of the time, had helped him leave his childhood behind sooner than normal. And it had. But Dominic was on an entirely different level. During the past year Elijah had learnt more about himself than he had ever deemed possible. Dominic had pulled him into a completely new world and opened his eyes to things he had not even dared to dream about. And just like Elijah’s maturity was growing day by day, his love for this man deepened day by day. Letting him go back to England would be beyond senseless and impossible. But luckily Dominic was an actor as well, so moving to Los Angeles was not the worst next step for him. And luckily, like Elijah, he was head over heels in love, too.

The surprised expression on Sean’s face got replaced by a gentle smile. “That’s great. That’s really great, Elijah. I’m happy for you. And I think you’re doing the right thing. I mean it.”

“I know,” Elijah said and placed a hand on Sean’s shoulder. “I know you mean it. Fuck what happened between us. If you still need time to get over it and forgive yourself, you have all the time in the world. Dom and I don’t blame you and we consider you a good friend. There’s no minefield that could destroy that.”

Sean’s smile grew broader and he reached out to pull Elijah into a tight hug. There were no words that could express his gratefulness any better and it was his first and only instinct. Elijah wrapped his arms around Sean and lightly patted his back. 

“Thank you, Elijah. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me,” Sean’s voice was thick with emotions and Elijah smiled at his sensitive reaction.

“There’s nothing you have to thank me for, Sean.”

“Yes, I do,” Sean withdrew from the embrace to look into Elijah’s eyes. “You’ve always been nothing but a wonderful friend. I don’t think any other person would have forgiven me.”

Suddenly he lowered his gaze and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “But…can you do me a favor?” he asked, sounding like he was about to say something earth-shatteringly mind-blowing.

Elijah raised his eyebrows. “Yes?”

“Could you…could you not tell Dom about this? The baby thing, I mean. I’m feeling embarrassed enough, as it is.”

The laughter that came from Elijah was like the relief they both needed after this conversation and it inevitably carried Sean away. He chuckled and knew his face must have been as red as a tomato.

“I won’t. Oh Sean Sean...you really are one of a kind,” Elijah said, when his laughter subsided.

“Who is one of a kind?”

Another very familiar voice announced new company and Elijah and Sean turned around simultaneously. Dominic approached them, sporting a big grin. He had only heard Elijah’s typical, high-pitched laughter and the last words. And as always, that sound was music in his ears.

“Oh, why am I even asking? I know who is,” he put his arm around Elijah’s shoulders and kissed his cheek. “Oh, sorry. I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“You’re not. And you’re right about that, Dom,” Sean winked at Elijah. “I’ll leave you two alone. Hopefully Chris has some time for her neglected husband now.”

“Ali’s sound asleep, by the way,” Dominic told Sean who was already halfway across the lawn and Sean waved back at him, indicating that he had heard him.

“What were you laughing about?” he asked. If Dominic hadn’t been grinning already, Elijah’s radiant smile would have been infective.

Elijah watched Sean walk away and then he turned around, locking his arms around Dominic’s waist. “Had something to do with you.”

“Me?” Dominic mock-gasped, feigning offense. Every pore on Elijah’s face exuded happiness as well as a tinge of mischievousness. “Should I feel insulted?”

“No,” Elijah closed the space between them and pressed his lips against Dominic’s. They didn’t use to kiss like this in public, not even at private parties, so it caught Dominic a little by surprise when Elijah initiated it. But he enjoyed it all the more. They were standing aside and nobody was paying attention to them anyway. Dominic gingerly cupped Elijah’s face, loving the feeling of a rough, yet gently probing tongue in his mouth. It was a magical little moment that shut out everything else. To Elijah the kiss was a needed outlet for the feelings that had accumulated inside him during his talk with Sean. Thinking about Dominic, their future, the next big stage in their relationship always left him in an extraordinarily emotional state of mind and made the already ever-present urge to be close to him even stronger. It didn’t matter who was watching them, if anyone was watching them at all, or who was turning up their noses at them. Only Dominic mattered, and the love they were sharing. Slowly Elijah removed his wet lips from Dominic’s, but stayed close enough so they were still nearly touching. Opening his eyes, he gazed up at him and formed a warm smile.

“Hmm…missed you,” he murmured, savoring the loving expression in Dominic’s eyes and tightening the hold of his arms around him. 

Dominic stroked his thumb over Elijah’s cheek, lost in those unnatural eyes for a moment and the emotions the amazing young man evoked in him, with every look, every word, every smile. “I missed you too, baby. Took me some time to find you. They’re about to start the fireworks and I was afraid I’d have to watch it all by myself.”

“Now that would have been really unromantic,” Elijah leaned in for another kiss which Dominic delightedly returned. They only pulled apart when they heard the explosions of the rockets and looked up into the night sky. Countless colorful trails of sparks lit up the darkness and created a sight as fantastic as what was happening on the ground. To everyone else it was a celebration of the filming anniversary, of the movies, their work and their endless dedication. To Dominic and Elijah it was their own personal show to celebrate their love.


	52. Chapter 52

“There will be time for controversy, and that will be when the movies come out. As long as people realize they are just interpretation. We have been faithful to the books.”

The journalist looked down at his notepad and scribbled something, not seeming very satisfied with the answer Peter Jackson had given him. It had been a question that needed to be asked and certainly he wasn’t the only one who had thought of it. But he had been the first one out of the whole bunch of present reporters to get a chance to ask it. It was one of the main questions hovering over the entire project called “The Lord of the Rings”. How do you adapt a supposedly unfilmable book into a movie? How do you live up to the expectations of millions of fans and critics around the world? How do you deal with the controversy and scrutiny that’s already going on? The dialogue between film makers and media had been closely guarded from the very beginning on; there had been hardly any leaks, let alone anything official. The occasional reports from curious, successful fans who managed to catch a glimpse of the sheltered sets or the actors had been all, apart from the first authorized photo shoots with the main characters. So now, almost a month before principal photography would wrap for good, the press finally got the opportunity to ease its craving for detailed information.

“What do you say about the rumors of a budget blowout? Some media reports put it in the region of 650 million New Zealand dollars. Is that true?”

Dominic leaned back in his chair and tried to keep a straight face. He doubted anyone would care even if he did grimace since all the journalists were after the big known stars of the movies anyway. Yet he remained sitting quietly between Sean and Billy and glanced at Barrie Osborne from the other side of the big white tent. Why were some reporters hungry for negative press only? They just couldn’t accept that there was nothing really negative to write about. Peter and his crew were professional enough not to give out more information than was necessary at this very first press conference for “The Lord of the Rings” on the Minas Tirith set, in Dry Creek Quarry outside Wellington, that featured most of the main actors. Filming was going well. Yes, the South Island weather could be difficult sometimes due to floods that had delayed filming for two days and yes, the cast had to be called down from Mount Olympus once for safety reasons, but they were still on schedule.

“I hope you understand that I won’t tell you the size of our budget,” the producer began with carefully chosen words. “But I can assure you that it’s a healthy budget for a trilogy that’s the size of Star Wars. It’s hard for me to draw any comparisons though. I produced a couple of big movies, but nothing like this. I don’t think anyone of us has been involved in something this big. It’s definitely the hardest I’ve ever done with the logistics and also doing three movies at once. It’s a challenge, but it’s a great experience. And having someone like Peter by your side makes it all less stressful and difficult.”

Peter was sitting in the middle of the improvised tables that formed a semicircle in front of the journalists, wearing his obligatory trademark shorts. Of course he had lots of experience with the press, but nothing had come close to this. Creating three “Lord of the Rings” movies attracted the attention from people all over the world and everyone was demanding facts, photos, bits and pieces. If they didn’t get it, they just kept on digging, snooping and asking. Despite some of the unpleasant questions which they had known would come, the press conference was very satisfying and they could even share lots of laughter together. And now as he was looking over at his colleague and friend, Peter gratefully smiled at the supportive statements. His childhood dreams were coming true here in New Zealand, his lifetime project was taking shape, and it was essential to have people around him who believed in what they were forming, who shared an equal passion and who he could always rely upon. He was blessed to have all that in his actors as well as his huge team behind the scenes.

“You’ve been living in New Zealand for about thirteen months now. How well did you settle into life here, and what made you agree to be a part of the movies? Mr. Wood, you’re the youngest, but one of the stars. What was it like for you?”

Suddenly all eyes were on him and Elijah shifted in his chair. He hadn’t expected to be the first one the question was directed at. Nonetheless he was prepared for it since it was one of the more obvious ones. He glanced briefly to his left and past Sean at Dominic who didn’t even bother to hide his fat grin. Elijah knew exactly what he was thinking and playfully slapped him in his mind. Shut up, I’m not a star. A star is nothing but a ball of gas, Elijah had used to say to Dominic at the beginning, when his British friend had called him that. Dominic still loved calling him “star” or “Hollywood star”, but only to tease him.

Elijah leaned forward and spoke into the microphone on the table. “Well, what drove me to be here initially was Peter and the prospect of working with him. I wasn’t very familiar with Lord of the Rings and the books, but I was a big fan of Peter and his work. And for some reason he liked my audition tape. As for settling into the life here, we all live in houses, it’s actually the first time I’ve been away from home for such a long time, all by myself. But we became a very tight group of friends. We go surfing, preferably at Lyall Bay, it’s not far away from where I rented my home. Or we go to pubs, to the movies, out to dinner…you know, just the normal stuff that friends do. We’re mingling well with the locals.”

That was all he said, but he couldn’t help but imagine how easily he could drop a bomb and give each of the probing journalists a controversial headline that would overshadow everything they had heard up until this moment. One sentence would be enough. One personal secret that they would lunge at like vultures. A scary thought, but strangely it also made Elijah feel a certain kind of power. And that made him feel good again. Sean started speaking next to him, talking about his daughter and how old she had been when he had come to New Zealand and how old she would be by the time all the movies were out. Sean, the infatuated family man. Elijah took a look around the semicircle and noticed that Sean was actually the only one who was dressed very formal, with jacket and tie. Ian, David and John had similar clothes, but none of them had added a tie. As expected, Dominic was the most dressed down one of them all. He had slipped on a light-blue muscle shirt and dark jeans. A few days before he had got some blonde highlights in his hair and Elijah loved this look on him. He also loved that he could stare at Dominic’s bare, well-built arms whenever he got too bored. It was rather warm inside the tent. The late-spring sun wasn’t strong, yet it had managed to pleasantly increase the temperature within the closed space. Elijah himself had gone for a long-sleeved, khaki-colored, buttoned up shirt over a dark t-shirt and now regretted the decision. It was suitable for outside, but inside the tent he had rolled up his sleeves. He wondered how Sean was doing in his outfit. However, he seemed comfortable enough.

Elijah’s eyes wandered over to Dominic and his arms once more and he grinned involuntarily. Grow up, you idiot, he told himself. But every time Dominic crossed his arms or shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants while standing, his sturdy muscles would become prominent. His body had gone through some changes since principal photography had begun. He hadn’t had the worst figure at the beginning. Elijah remembered images of Dominic sleeping on his couch after a night out in town, wearing a pair of jeans only, and his eyes had been glued to the sight. Dominic had been more slender back then and his already present muscles had been less defined, but still it had been a sight that had taken Elijah’s breath away and made his heart beat faster. Now, more than a year later, Dominic had built up quite nicely, though he wasn’t the only one who faced some changes. The often rough and physically demanding shoots, the fighting, crawling and running, had decreased a little bit of Elijah’s boyishness. He was still slim and looked nowhere as sturdy as Dominic, but some of his former “baby fat”, as he liked to call it, had disappeared and gotten replaced by firmness and tightness.

“I wasn’t so much interested in New Zealand. I thought my year here would be a wonderful opportunity to go to Australia.”

A round of laughter following Ian’s joke pulled Elijah out of his thoughts and he joined it. There would still be a better place and time to ponder, reminisce and be mushy. Only three more days…

 

~**~

 

The last drops of the wine flowed into his glass and Dominic put the bottle back on the counter. Letting the shimmering red fluid swirl in the glass, he slowly crossed the kitchen and entered the living-room which was dipped into a dimmed, warm light. Empty plates as well as various pots and bowls were scattered on the table by the fluffy sofa, some of them still half-full, some completely plundered. It had been one of the most delicious feasts Dominic had ever whipped up. His mother would have been proud of him if she had been there. But it was also a very special occasion and Dominic knew he couldn’t have done it without the precious help from the precious man who was sitting on the right side of the sofa, his legs drawn up to his chest and his hand holding a full glass of wine. Like Dominic, he was wearing cozy sweatpants and a simple t-shirt as he was taking a small gulp of his drink. Standing a few feet away from the couch, Dominic watched him silently for a moment. The beautiful profile, the softly arched lashes, the perfectly shaped nose, the lips that were moist from the wine. The only thing that was missing was that stunning lake and mountain scenery in the background.

“I’m sorry, Lijah.”

Elijah looked up from the glass between his fingers and smiled. “Stop apologizing, Dom. You couldn’t do anything about it.”

Dominic walked over to him and lowered himself right beside him. “But still…it’s not right. We shouldn’t be here today. We should be there.”

“But unfortunately we’re not in charge of the filming schedule,” Elijah turned to face him and crossed his legs. It had been Dominic’s fifth apology tonight and somehow Elijah thought he was just getting cuter and cuter every time he uttered those words. But he knew they sounded more dramatic than actually intended. “And who cares where we are? We’re lucky enough that we get to spend the evening together, in the middle of the week. And it’s always comfy with you, no matter where we are.”

Holding the glass between his folded knees, both his hands cupping the almost full bowl, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Dominic’s mouth. It was returned contently and when it ended, Dominic opened his eyes again and gazed into bright, sparkly, loving orbs that nothing could darken on this day. How could he do anything else but smile right back at the beautiful face before him?

“Happy anniversary, baby,” he murmured softly.

Elijah looked like he was surrounded by a thick fog of blissful happiness. “Happy anniversary, Dommie,” he said gently and tilted his head, wanting another kiss. Just as his lips were about to settle down on their favorite spot, Dominic shattered the wish by being his typical, cheeky self.

“Still…we should be in Te Anau. We’re not even on the bloody South Island,” Dominic protested and chuckled at Elijah’s mock-annoyed expression, followed by that classic high-pitched giggle.

“Shut the fuck up already and snog me!”

“Oohh…demanding little princess,” Dominic teased and almost spilled his wine all over his legs when Elijah became tired of begging and smashed his mouth against his. Miraculously the wine in Elijah’s glass remained where it was supposed to be as well and now even Dominic was unable to keep up the mischievous front any longer. One hand was holding his wine glass while the other found its place on Elijah’s cheek. Elijah, on the other hand, continued gripping his glass, legs still folded and his upper body slightly bent forward, his softly probing tongue in particular savoring the kiss. This first intimate act went on for a couple of minutes. They were both heavily stuffed after the excessive dinner and snogging lazily seemed like the perfect dessert at the moment.

But sooner or later the kiss had to end. Dominic took a sip of the almost forgotten beverage as Elijah’s face, slightly flushed from the warmth of the room and the intimacy, stayed close. Elijah’s eyelids fluttered open and Dominic could see the plain longing. It was unmistakable, as always, and matched his own emotions. Swallowing a little more wine, he forced himself away from the lovely image, but only to stand up slowly and reach out his hand. Elijah didn’t hesitate one second. He raised his right hand and found it enveloped in Dominic’s, who pulled him up from the sofa. They got to stand face-to-face again, hands still tightly grasping each other. This time Dominic initiated the kiss, but it was just a brief one.

“Come to bed, Lijah.”

Elijah nodded silently and no more words were spoken as Dominic led him into his dim but preheated bedroom. The faint rays of the setting sun passed through the window, shedding a warm light inside the room. It was a shame that the curtains needed to be closed. The place had its own little backyard, but especially at nighttime you could never be sure that curious neighbors weren’t watching what they weren’t supposed to. Dominic put his glass down on the window-sill and pulled at the drapes, then he turned back around. Some light still made its way through the curtains. Elijah was standing right next to the bed, taking a last mouthful of his wine and eyeing him over the edge of the glass. Dominic couldn’t tell why this made him look even more enticing and tempting, but it tugged him over to Elijah in one swift movement. He took the glass and placed it on the nightstand before cupping Elijah’s face and kissing him soundly. His hands wandered from the smooth cheeks, down the back before they reached another lovely destination. Grasping Elijah’s round buttocks through the thin fabric of his sweatpants, Dominic enjoyed the quiet moan he could hear and that was swallowed by his mouth as their lips were firmly attached to each other. Elijah felt himself getting hard. Luckily his pants were pretty loose and he had skipped putting on boxers. Sinking a little deeper into the kiss, he locked his arms around Dominic’s neck and pressed his body up against his. The slack state of his sweatpants was much appreciated since it gave Dominic easier and better access to the Southern regions and beyond that. He wormed his expert hands underneath the waistband, pushing it further down in the process and exposing the almost white skin of Elijah’s butt. The cotton slid down to the floor and Elijah stepped out of it, kicking it away. Naked from the waist down, he still felt those familiar, skilled hands on his bottom. His own hands gently pressed against Dominic’s shoulders and pushed him onto the bed. He got rewarded with a low chuckle of a raspy voice that he could listen to all day, regardless of the words.

“Demanding little princess…really…”

“You still don’t get that you’ve created this creature, do you?” Elijah was already fumbling with Dominic’s shirt as he said this and deftly yanked it up to remove the unnecessary material. “Deal with the consequences.”

The clothing item flew across the room and was followed by Elijah’s t-shirt a few seconds later. Dominic ran his slender fingers up and down the naked body on top of him, from the shoulder blades over the curved back down to the perfectly formed butt. He really would never understand how a grown man, though still a teenager, could have skin this smooth and flawless.

“Oh I do…gladly,” he said, his desirous voice fading. “Just an observation.”

A soft moan escaped his throat when Elijah sealed his lips with a passionate kiss and ground his hips down. The only garment left between them now were Dominic’s sweatpants. It wasn’t difficult for Elijah to feel the prominent hardness underneath the material, but he didn’t make any move to confiscate it yet. Instead he just continued grinding down with his naughty loins, driving Dominic almost over the edge. He had learnt quite a lot and it never ceased to amaze Dominic, seeing how Elijah had been this clueless, shy boy at the beginning who had even been too nervous to shed his clothes. However, Dominic wasn’t too conceited to know that he hadn’t “created” it. He had just helped to set it free.

Elijah kept on rocking his hips for a moment, but soon it became too much, even for him. The rhythm got unsteady and he started trembling lightly from the friction. He was panting into Dominic’s mouth and felt those short puffs of breath coming from the arousing man beneath him as well. Dominic’s hands seemed to be everywhere at once, on Elijah’s back, his thighs, his butt, his neck, tangled in his hair. Ultimately their lips parted as Elijah pulled away a little, giving them both a chance to catch some air. Though he had no intention to remain idle. What a ridiculous thought. How could he do nothing when he had this ravishing body beneath him?

Dominic managed to take a last look at the rosy face above his through half-open eyelids before it disappeared again as Elijah submerged. The half-open eyes turned into blissfully closed eyes. A firm mouth and a rough tongue grazed Dominic’s throat and he thoroughly enjoyed the sensation, his senses reduced to feeling. Elijah didn’t seem to be in a hurry. He took his time as he moved down Dominic’s body deliberately slowly, leaving a wet trail anywhere his lips and tongue connected with skin. Stopping briefly at the two already taut nipples, Elijah sucked first on the left and then the right knob before prudently nibbling on them with his teeth. Clenched fingers pulled at his hair and deep groans filled his ears. Dominic’s chest and belly, another favorite part of his. Elijah wouldn’t be able to pick just one part if he had to. It was all one perfect and perfectly shaped whole. He kissed and licked all over this wonderful torso, sliding further down. Yes, Dominic’s body had gone through some nice changes in the course of time. It had always been well formed, at least from what Elijah could tell after seeing it uncovered for the first time. But especially the additional rippled stomach muscles caused a lovely tingle inside him whenever he set eyes on them. He roamed them with his tongue, hearing, seeing and feeling Dominic’s uneven breathing, until at last he reached the area where naked skin met soft fabric. The rigid bulge was even harder to miss now, as was the fact that Dominic had renounced the idea of underwear as well. Right on top of the bulge a small dark stain stood out against the grey of the sweatpants. A narrow trail of hair disappeared behind the waistband and Elijah slid his fingers beneath the material, slowly but determinedly pulling the pants down. Once the superfluous piece of clothing was lying in a corner of the room, Elijah turned his full attention to the delightful pelvis in front of him. He felt like he was about to enjoy another delicious banquet and somehow that thought made him grin a little. Lying down on his stomach between Dominic’s legs, he examined what he saw for a moment. The large, swollen, stiff cock with the noticeable arteries and the pink head, the thick testicles, surrounded by dark pubic hair. Just like a banquet, making it difficult to decide where to begin. He made up his mind rather quickly though and picked the long length of the hard penis. Starting with the base, he ran his tongue up to the tip and then swallowed as much as he could. Elijah loved how Dominic’s already engorged member used to swell even more every time he engulfed it with his mouth, as he did now. Tasting the salty pre-cum, he licked it off first before moving his lips up and down slowly.

Getting seduced by Elijah like this was something Dominic could have only ever dreamt of a year before. And here they were today, together, joined in mind and in body and going stronger than he had deemed possible. Dominic let out an irregular string of sighs and moans, his head tilted back, one hand still twisting in Elijah’s tangled hair and the other arm stretched out beside his own head, his fingers tightening their hold on the crumpled sheets. A fine sheen of sweat broke out over his body as the wonderful mouth around him became the center of his consciousness. If his brain had been able to still work properly, he would have thought about how Elijah being in charge now was just another sign of his striking personal development. Scared of playing Frodo, unsure about his feelings, his sexuality, the reactions of his family and those around him here in New Zealand, nervous about diving into this relationship. That was all in the past, but not that long ago. The change was still astounding. Elijah was astounding. There were just no words. Not that Dominic would have been capable of forming any coherent phrase in this very moment. All that came out of his panting throat were noises of pleasure as Elijah’s lips, tongue and teeth slowly drove him into a frenzy.

When he felt the organ in his mouth begin to throb promisingly, indicating that the end was near, Elijah pulled back reluctantly. As much as he would have liked to continue, he didn’t want this to be finished just yet. Releasing the pampered, dripping wet penis, he gave it a last short lick before crawling back up Dominic’s body to settle down on top of him. Heavy, troubled gasps confronted him as they kissed. Suddenly Elijah found himself getting grabbed and turned around. When he opened his eyes again, he looked up into a flushed face and felt a welcoming weight on and against him. Dominic managed to get his breathing and the intense, building pleasure inside his groin under control again, at least enough to form a weak smile and articulate words.

“Fuck…did I really create this…? What the fuck was I thinking?”

Elijah chuckled. “So many bad words. You start to sound just like me.”

“Well…think I told you once that you’re rubbing off on me.”

“Likewise.”

This time the air got sucked out of Elijah as Dominic crashed his lips against his. It was like one endless kiss for the following minutes, with probing tongues, soft sighs and recurrent quiet moans. Dominic’s right hand strayed from Elijah’s neck over the perspiring chest and down to the invitingly open legs. He gingerly traced the inside of a smooth thigh, up and down, and then wrapped his fingers around the erection which immediately became harder. Elijah buried his short nails in Dominic’s back and gasped heavily into his mouth. Hooking his right leg around Dominic’s waist, he slowly moved his hips in a way that made his cock thrust up into the skillfully pumping and squeezing hand. Dominic felt Elijah’s tautened fingers scratch across his back muscles, a sensation that turned him further on and made his desire for the human perfection underneath him grow with every second. He knew it was time, or he would explode.

Gathering all his willpower, Dominic rolled off of Elijah and opened the nightstand drawer. The tube of lubricant that he pulled out of it felt strangely light in his hand. He sat up and squeezed the last remnants onto his palm, putting the empty tube next to the wine glass on the bedside table.

“Oops, have we been so active?” he asked with a smirk, his pulse rate still up and high as he looked down at Elijah’s warm flawless body.

“Suffering from memory loss, old man?” Elijah moved to kneel in front of Dominic who was rubbing his hands together in order to warm up the fluid a little. Encircling Dominic’s waist with his arms, he pressed himself up against him until they were both on their knees.

“Just forgot to update my shopping list,” Dominic gathered most of the lube on his middle and forefinger and reached around Elijah’s abdomen. “See what you’re doing to me, baby?”

“It’s always my fault, isn’t it,” Elijah groaned as Dominic’s slick fingers slowly entered him. Luckily, the amount of lubricant was sufficient. Feeling Elijah’s trembling body against his chest, Dominic spread the greasy mixture inside the entrance ever so expertly. Elijah lifted his arms to wrap them around Dominic’s neck, savoring the penetration and rocking his hips back against the probing fingers. Dominic was holding him with his free arm and the way Elijah’s penis kept slipping and sliding alongside his own made it difficult for him to fully concentrate on the task that was literally at hand. And the sucking mouth on his neck didn’t make it any easier either. Glancing over Elijah’s shoulder and downwards, he saw his two fingers disappear and reemerge between the two perfect buttocks and his belly tingled as he thought about how his digits would be replaced any moment now. Despite Elijah’s moans and the arousing actions in their loin regions, Dominic took his time until he was sure Elijah was well prepared. He always used to do that, no matter how impatient Elijah might become.

“Nnngh…ready…Dommie...”

Dominic smirked. Fortunately Elijah was right this time. He slowly pulled his fingers out of the anus and noticed that his hands were still wet enough to coat his cock with lubricant. So he wrapped his fingers around himself as he lowered Elijah onto his back. Elijah hanging on to him and kissing him fiercely added to the nice multitasking challenge. Eventually though, Dominic broke away and sat back on his haunches between Elijah’s stretched out legs. His glistening, hard cock was aching and Elijah was more than ready. Grabbing one of the two pillows, Dominic positioned it right under Elijah’s hips for some support. Then he took hold of Elijah’s left leg and raised it up to lean it against his shoulder, the other remaining slightly bent by his side. Elijah looked up at him and clutched the sheets above his head, panting with anticipation. So much longing, trust and love in those beautiful, captivating eyes. Dominic ignored his aching cock for a moment and took his time to lean down and place a brief but firm kiss on Elijah’s lips. The leg almost slid off his shoulder, but he was holding it securely and leaned back again. His hands moved down and gripped Elijah’s hips as he very slowly pushed his cock into him. A weak wall of resistance was still there, but it quickly crumbled. Dominic held his breath as he got squeezed deliciously by the warm tightness that swallowed him. He closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them again and gazed down, his breath got knocked out completely. It was a sight he had seen many times before, but it used to mesmerize him every time, like it was the first. Elijah in all his beautiful, naked glory, his eyes shut, gasping for air and panting as his body adjusted to the invasion. Dominic held still and waited a moment until he could see the blue of Elijah’s eyes again. A faint smile reassured him that everything was okay. This was the sign and Dominic slowly began to move his hips, as slowly as he had entered him. Elijah kept looking up, still grasping the blanket tightly. Their eyes locked as their bodies gently moved together in a comfortable, stable rhythm on the rumpled sheets.

Soon Dominic watched how Elijah blissfully closed his eyes and tilted his head back, his upper body glistening with sweat and his throat emitting quiet moans. Dominic’s fingers slipped on the clammy thighs as he helped Elijah drape both his legs over his shoulders. A position allowing a deeper and more intense penetration. The image of Elijah vanished as Dominic shut his eyes and concentrated on the waves inside his groin. He could hear Elijah’s moans which grew louder steadily, as did his own when his initial slow thrusts set a faster pace. His fingertips dug into the firm yet soft thighs in front of his chest and his hips seemed to be moving almost on their own. They both wouldn’t last long.

It was one of those moments when Elijah used to forget that there was something very real outside of that moment. It could be a powerful, passionate kissing session, it could be a corporal union like this or it could be the mere look into a certain someone’s eyes, and everything else disappeared. Elijah’s fingers clenched and unclenched around the wrinkled fabric of the sheets as the faint glimmer that had been ignited in his pelvis grew and turned into a wild fire. His consciousness perceived that Dominic must have wrapped his fingers around his cock since the aching need to do so was suddenly satisfied, but not by Elijah who found himself incapable of moving his rigid muscles. However, the burning sensations that intensified just a few seconds later smashed even the last remaining thoughts out of his head.

Elijah tensed up and arched his back as his orgasm rushed through him, closely followed by Dominic who gripped one thigh with his free hand so tightly that bruises on the delicate skin would be inevitable. But neither of them noticed anything except the intense pleasure exploding inside their jointed bodies. The rocking and the moaning stopped and were replaced by heavy panting and gasping.

Slowly Elijah opened his eyes again. His legs were now stretched out and Dominic was straddling him on all fours. They looked at each other for a second before Dominic lowered himself and settled down against Elijah. Their lips met for a lazy kiss as their sweat-slick bodies intertwined, causing pleasant warmth for the serene afterglow. A tingle remained in his groin as Dominic pulled his face away just a few inches. His fingers continued stroking Elijah’s flushed cheeks and the beauty that looked back at him took his already troubled breath away. He savored the moment in silence before he spoke in a voice that was nothing more than a whisper.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too,” Elijah said in an equal tone and smiled, his hands caressing Dominic’s back. The heated body on top of and against his felt like the most wonderful blanket. “I can’t believe it’s been a year already.”

Dominic smiled back and stroked his fingers through Elijah's hair. “I know,” he said, but then his smile weakened a little. “I’m so glad we took the day of our very first kiss as anniversary day. And…that we just ignore what happened afterwards.”

Elijah moved one hand up to weave his fingers through Dominic’s hair. “It’s the day that changed everything for the better. The rest doesn’t matter. I behaved like the insecure little boy that I was, but all that followed just showed me how much I was in love with you and how much I wanted to be with you. It took me a little longer to realize that and to just live by my feelings. I caused you a lot of pain…but…like you often told me, it only matters that I got my ass up in the end and stopped being such a fucking sissy in denial and that we’re here now.”

The smile came back to Dominic’s face at the last words. “I didn’t quite put it like that, but yeah.”

Elijah chuckled. “I know, I’m the one with the potty mouth.”

“A lovely potty mouth,” Dominic claimed Elijah’s lips once more. When the kiss ended, he felt complete and reassured again. “I just hope you won’t wanna get rid of me in LA. It’s the real world, not fluffy secluded New Zealand,” he grinned.

“Don’t worry, I won’t kick your ass out of my house that easily,” Elijah said with a grin and grew a bit more serious. “I’m not naive enough to think everything will be rainbows and butterflies, Dom. Everyone faces shit, we both know that better than anyone else. But let’s just jump into this and enjoy our time and opportunities. We’re going to get to know each other even better and grow even closer, I’m sure.”

Dominic nodded, knowing Elijah was absolutely right. They knew each other well already, but things would go even deeper once they left New Zealand and started a real life together. He couldn’t wait to spend all that time with Elijah in Los Angeles, in his familiar surroundings, at his home that Dominic had already visited once. Getting to know even more sides about him. As for Dominic himself, there were some things from his past that he was anything but proud of, but he decided not to come up with that here and now. They still had so much time and it didn’t seem to be important in this moment. This moment was just too perfect.

Letting out a dramatic sigh, Dominic smirked at the same time. “I know we will. I also still think we should be in Te Anau right now…I’m sorry, Lij…”

And the playful slap, high-pitched giggle and fiery kiss he received for that really made everything else unimportant.

 

 


End file.
